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Lost My Temper Last NightExperiences (self.aznidentity)

cookiehead333 が 投稿

My friend and I played some dice in Vegas last night, losing as usual. I had no luck and threw poorly, and a pink guy 6'1" 250, mostly fat dude commented "learn to shoot," "pay attention when you are betting" which I ignored since I have seen plenty of sour losers at the tables over the years. Then he said "sucky sucky" after a bad one, which seemed racist now. So I declined to roll further and passed the dice when it was my turn. I had my arm out a little when he was shooting which pissed him off and said "move your arm or I will shoot it off," and I lost it. "fuck you fat boy," in front of 10 other dudes. I am 5'8" 185, but I was too pissed and ready to knock his teeth out. He got quiet and didnt say anything after that.
Things never change . If you let insults pass, it will only escalate. My problem is that I allow things to build until I reach a boiling point, which leads to fights.
How would you guys have handled this?

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[–]bakerbob49 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You didnt lose your temper. You should have been aggressive from the beginning. Ignoring a bully only makes it worse.

[–]likechanel 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've been waiting for someone to antagonize me like this for ages...

[–]cookiehead333[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Why, would you kick their asses? Most guys who have been in many fights know its something to be avoided, because its fucking painful.

[–]Suavecake12 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (11子コメント)

First you have to learn to give as well as you receive. He's just egging you, so you have to learn how to egg him back.

"Learn to shoot"
You have to respond with "Shut up, baby needs a new pair shoes tonight."

"pay attention when you are betting" You have to respond with some wit, "pay attention to the odds are in the house favor. We pay for these lux accommodating with every bet."

"move your arm or I will shoot it off," Just tell him, "Get the F*ck out of here. You're just as unlucky as me tonight. Hell I'm betting against the shooter just for that."

Casinos are the safest place to mouth off. Security is everywhere and camera are witnesses to everything.

[–]the0clean0slate 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (10子コメント)

I think this mentality that we always need to have some wit to shoot back is a big reason a lot of AM keep their tongue. We overthink. We question what we are going to say is witty or not, so we end up creating a mental obstacle for ourselves that increases the threshold of action. This ends up delaying our blow point or ends up not allowing us to respond until everything is over.

I mean, just say "shut the fuck up" or something to express displeasure. We are not here to entertain a whitey. It is normal to not have god tier wit.

[–]throwthrow696969 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agree, it's not the word are having a impact,but it's your action(fighting back). Bully hates people to fight back,they think they are unstoppable.But,when you fight back,he will realize 1.he's not unstoppable 2 he will feel hassle to keep harassing,and stop. 3.he will learn a lesson to stop harassing . Instead of coming up with a perfect/witty line,just fight back immediately.This will be a better staregy,imo.

[–]Suavecake12 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (8子コメント)

You get better with practice I swear. The goal of wit is not just to stop the harassment, it's to get witnesses to side with you. Who are people going to defend the asshole bully or the witty guy trying to defuse the situation while giving backhanded compliments along the way.

These are the soft skills AsAm need to learn. Especially those of that speak with a native English accent.

I've spent decades mastering speaking the White, Black, and Hispanic dialects of American English. A fuck you is not a satisfying as getting under their skin and letting them know who's the better individual.

[–]the0clean0slate 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You are overthinking it. No one cares about "witty guy trying to defuse the situation while giving backhanded compliments along the way". IMO, this is actually beta behavior to default to a thinking that you always need support from other white people in conflict situation. This frame is coming from a upbringing where you are weak and always think you don't have the strength to stand your ground by yourself. It exudes a weak underlying mentality, so of course the more aggressive or natural alpha party will pick up on it and exploit it.

It is some annoying douchebag. Just tell him to shut the fuck up. If someone is an alpha and have grown to expect obedience, then when they are annoyed, they act on it by instinct.

It is not a soft skill at this point. I have simply not seen one of these forced witty comeback turn out well. The AM always end up looking like the guy who is backing off.

[–]Suavecake12 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I don't think its over thinking. I've been refining this way of escalation for about 3 decades now. Unless you rolled into the casino with a gang of Asians who are ready to bang on a drop of a hat, you bet your sweet civilian ass you want look like your diffusing the situation even when you're not.

Ideally you want to manipulate the situation so if there is a physical fight, you want people to see that it was the other party that instigated. So you can play it off as "No officer, I would never want to get involved with a person like that, I'm a doctor, lawyers, accountants, or business owners"

You want instill the fear of God into a cracker. You do that where there are no cameras or witnesses.

We're not Black or Hispanic thugs with room temperature IQ. You got to play it smart. And flaunt it.

[–]cookiehead333[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I dont know man. Sometimes we gotta be willing to fight, win or lose. I had reached a point where I didnt even think about the consequences-he could beat me up, shoot me, or God knows what else. The casino could bar me too. And then the legal consequences, a hassle I dont need. Not to sound corny but I will die defending my honor, otherwise I couldnt look myself in the mirror. Pink dudes would never insult a black dude. Its because of the perceived threat of violent retaliation, not for fear of getting outwitted.

[–]Suavecake12 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You defend your honor by yapping at him like he was yapping at you. You start taking a swing and you're the one that loses. Society doesn't tolerate that inside a casino. That's the game, who can yap at each other without losing it.

White dudes don't even want to talk to Black people. They will quietly move out of neighborhoods not to be around them. For the most part White dudes begrudgingly tolerate being around Asian people.

But if you do lose it better make sure the situations are in your favor to win.

[–]anthrofighter 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

This is a guaranteed way to get yourself killed. Never make a uncivilized Barbarian feel mentally inferior. You have to instill perceived physical equality with these neatherthals.

[–]Suavecake12 -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm still here and so not dead yet. I train enough, but thanks for the advise.

[–]cookiehead333[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I dont train or know how to truly fight, but its more about heart. Do to size differences I would have gone after his throat and balls. There are no rules in fighting.

[–]Suavecake12 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Use your head the casino is not the place for a physical fight. Look I get your upset the guy was being a douche. But you can be a douche right back at him. White society encourages this type of behavior.

[–]ottgo 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You did fine. I've had this happen in places like bars or clubs. The only thing I'd add is to try to get his full name beforehand. He may have a player card or his name may be scanned into the game. You want to know who the person is that you're dealing with, in case things escalate. So, any identification like his name or license plate is what you should be look for first. I've had a recent instance like this, where a white guy was going out of his way to be rude to two Indian friends of mine, so I leaned over to check his name. He noticed this and my unkind intentions, and he shut the fuck up without a word said by me.

I've had my share of times, where I've had to tell a white guy to shut the fuck up directly. For some reason, in public establishment like this, it's often white or Jewish guys that seem to think it's okay to say racist shit out in the open, especially when they've had a little liquid courage.

[–]the0clean0slate 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (3子コメント)

You should have said something after "sucky sucky".

Just "shut your fucking mouth" or anything. I don't think you even need to create anything witty.

Why do you let the frustration build up?

[–]cookiehead333[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

If I get aggressive with every incidents of racism I would be in a fight everyday. Racism against asians is just so ingrained in American society.

[–]the0clean0slate 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

My idea is that we should always respond with something, no matter how tiny a gesture. Respond to micro-aggression with "micro-resistance" if you will lol.

The point is to TRAIN the general population to expect guaranteed consequence no matter how small if they don't mind their own damn business and talk some shit.

Of course you don't escalate to violence every time.

Think about it. Nobody talk shit with black woman. Think with your own intuition what kind of social situation you would expect to get if you talk some unwarranted shit with a black chick and get up into their business, doesn't that make you hold your tongue? It is not violence that forms the deterrence in your mind.

[–]WokeAsian 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

/u/cookiehead333 it's an easy as fuck comeback:

You wanted to suck my big asian cock? you fat gay boi

Too bad, my big asian cock is only for girls

Or you can say white girls to trigger him more.

[–]fakeslimshady 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You were playing craps right? I bet on NO PASS all the time and win on those.

[–]cookiehead333[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The game is designed to beat both the Dont's and the Passline players, often on the same roll, but thecasino edge is less on the Dont line.

[–]WheresMyNeckbeard 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

you didn't lose your temper. you only thought you did because most asians are raised their entire lives to feel guilty for standing up for themselves. Next time someone gives eggs you on like that, stare him dead in the eyes with your body facing him and ask "you got a problem?". if you give someone the "i'm about to murder you" glare, they'll back off but always be prepared to throw down. Just in case, carry a knife with you for self defense

[–]cookiehead333[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I know a guy who was stabbed in a fight and killed the guy with his own knife.

[–]WheresMyNeckbeard 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

then you better carry a gun and learn how to use it

[–]YueFei90 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You should have returned fire earlier.

[–]cookiehead333[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hoping that the insults stop is wishful thinking for sure.

[–]fedupwithlife9 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Stop gambling away your money to the casinos who laugh as they are millions richer and you are a few hundred poorer.

[–]cookiehead333[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wish it was just hundreds....

[–]anthrofighter 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Your first and only response should of been "learn to shut the fuck up or find another table fuckface". If you can't pull that off then go tell the pit boss to remove the asshole. And if you're scared of fights then you should just disengage entirely from any confrontation. There's no space for the weak or unprepared in the white man world.

[–]quernika 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've seen Asian guys who are way shorter than 5'8 and just don't give a fuck and shoot down insults, they're the ones who would die just for a silly thing and that's crazy.

[–]snickersbar2k 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Guy was being an annoying heckling little bitch. Maybe a better retort or comeback but anyone would get mad at that.

[–]NewYorkRice 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (6子コメント)

I'm an asian who was dating a black girl. I got alot of shit from both sides of being Chinese and black guys dissing her for not dating an another black guy. She was absolutely beautiful in many people's eyes. One day, while holding my girls hand, some dude, came up behind me and shoved me. I let it go because I really don't want any trouble, but I wanted to protect my girl. He shoved me again because I ignored him. Finally shove to me and my girl. I turned and pulled out my .45 ACP. THEN, faced with a weapon, he said he was sorry. Yes, I had a license to carry. I don't live in NYC anymore, but this crap has got to stop or someone will end up with a bullet. It won't be me.

[–]anthrofighter 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You let someone sneak up behind you like that? Practice spacial awareness and never let anyone shove you even once. And carry a 9mm with a plus 10+ Rd mag man.

[–]WheresMyNeckbeard 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

never ignore it the first time

[–]azn_railroader 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I call bullshit, NYC doesn't issue concealed carry licenses except to politicians/gov officials, celebrities, and wealthy, connected socialites. Hell, it's hard enough for an ordinary citizen to even get a premises-only license just to keep a gun in their home, nevermind carry it in public.

Also, if you seriously pulled a gun on somebody for shoving you, do yourself and responsible gun owners a favor and don't carry. You never draw to threaten or intimidate somebody. If that gun comes out, you have to be legally justified to also pull the trigger or you'll be in a world of legal trouble (some states call it brandishing, assault with deadly weapon in others).

[–]Jumaara 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Out of curiosity, how did you manage to get approved for a license in NYC? The process is bureaucratic hell, and the NYPD is very corrupt and anti-gun. They don't accept "self-defense" as a reason to carry. I can't imagine them granting an LTC to a non-white person, either, unless it's someone with political influence.

[–]NewYorkRice 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

This was in the late 80's and earl 90's when I had my permits. Things were very different back then. I had a target and premises permit. Target means that you can have the weapon in your house but not loaded. Premise license means you can have a fully loaded weapon in your home or place of business. Full time carry was for the elite. Politicians, lawyers federal arms dealers and very few civilians. I.E. Howard Stern, Trump. However, I was out of a job and took a position for an armed service company. In the 80's and 90's if you knew the right people at NYPD, your application was sent direct to the state. No questions asked. You were then issued a carry permit. I, however had my company apply for a carry because it part of my job. They gave me a .38 bulldog and 6 rusty bullets they found in someone's drawer. This company has since went out of business and I moved on. In my original post, I mentioned that I was was dating a black girl. After being threatened by neighbors to burn my car and my house down, the NYPD stated, it was just threats and no crime has been committed. They did say, file for a permit and protect your girl and yourself. Being that this is the internet, some people will call BULLSHIT. Trolls do not need to apply. I DO NOT want to take someone's life because of a stupid mistake, however I will protect myself.

[–]azn_railroader 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Riiiiight. NYC doesn't send pistol permit applications to NY state, as NYC processes its own permits and doesn't even recognize permits issued by other NY licensing authorities (counties), and vice versa.

If you had a carry permit because you were an armed security guard, that means it was a business/limited carry --only authorizing you to carry on the job, not off duty. So let's assume you were breaking the law and carrying off duty. NYC permits also must have the firearm that you carry registered with the NYPD--you said you were given a ".38 bulldog with 6 rusty bullets" but yet when you brandished your weapon to intimidate the guy harassing you:

I turned and pulled out my .45 ACP.

I'm not trolling, I'm just calling you on your bullshit.

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