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We will defend ALL who hold their fingers together in a little circle!

Donald Trump gave a very nice speech from a teleprompter today in Warsaw’s Krasinski Square, a memorial to a 1944 uprising against the Nazi invasion, and the crowd went wild for him, excitedly chanting “Donald Trump! Donald Trump! Donald Trump!” Which was exactly what they were supposed to do: In arranging Trump’s visit, Poland’s rightwing government promised that Trump would have crowds cheering for him. To make sure of it, the government bused in people from all around the country, a technique borrowed from old-time communist days.

Repeatedly, throughout a speech in which the president recounted Polish history to the visitors, waiting people chanted “Donald Trump” and repeatedly interrupted him to do so.

Much of the crowd was brought in from across the country, and carried signs saying where they had come from – including “Pila” or “Gorzow” in the west. Other banners featured the right-wing, pro-government Gazeta Polska newspaper.

Wow, if that isn’t a spontaneous demonstration of the Polish people’s deep love of Donald Trump, we don’t know what is. The Law and Justice Party instructed all its members of parliament and other party leaders to bus in at least 50 people each so that Trump could look forward to a warm reception. No doubt he will remember it fondly, and will cite the massive cheering crowd to disprove the Fake News in a recent Pew Research Center poll showing that while 73 percent of Poles have a positive view of the USA, only 23 percent said they have confidence in Trump as its leader, compared to 58 percent for Barack Obama. That can’t possibly be an accurate Pole poll. Just listen to the cheering!

The mandatory enthusiasm certainly impressed Trump’s online fans on the Twitter box:

Skeevy wingnut Jack Posobiec, the rightwing Twitter troll who somehow got White House press credentials once, treated us to this self-pleasuring Tweetgasm:

Is “Lady Melania” a thing now? It certainly is with Posobiec, who has used it elsewhere. Good thing we had that revolution to throw off the corrupt aristocracy, huh?

Now let’s get one thing clear: While the crowd was definitely bused in, there’s no evidence they were paid to be there — maybe they got a nice lunch or something, but let’s not have that “paid crowd” nonsense. They were dragooned into this of their own free will.

By contrast, nobody needed to bus in audience members when Barack Obama went to Berlin in 2008 — and he wasn’t even President Obama yet.

As for Trump’s speech itself, it achieved one very important goal on the checklist: Trump finally said NATO is a good thing, and that the USA remains committed to the mutual defense clause, Article 5, of the NATO charter, so would you please please stop asking him about it, OK? He also said some mildly tough things about Russia, even, which he read with all the sincerity he could muster:

We urge Russia to cease its destabilizing activities in the Ukraine and elsewhere and its support for hostile regimes, including Syria and Iran, and instead join the community of responsible nations in our fight against common enemies and defense of civilization itself[.]

See? He is now officially Not Putin’s Bitch Ever, no matter what insane shit he ends up saying later. It’s on the record.

Trump’s wingnut fans, like Infowars spudboy Paul Joseph Watson, liked his nod to nationalism and defending Western Culture from the Muslim hordes, although those last four words are simply implied:

Say… what’s that flag right at the front of the crowd as the video starts?

Glad to see the Polish neo-Confederates showed up, too. Warsaw will Rise Again.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations, and we don’t even have a bus. But you can help gas up the Wonkebago by clicking the “Donate4” clicky below!

[Independent / Newsweek / WaPo]

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  • ManchuCandidate

    It wouldn’t be the first time an egotistical crazed asshole faked something in Poland.

  • Joe Beese
    • cmd resistor

      Thanks for not sharing the actual pics of the rapture.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Well, pictures of naked fundamentalists being whisked into the sky might be fun to look at…

  • msanthropesmr

    I don’t recall Obama ever running down Western Civilization. Oh wait. He was black.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Yes. It was implied.

    • grindstone

      He admitted, OPENLY, that we weren’t perfect, had things to work on, and would continue to progress in the future with the help of our allies.

      See??? He was running us down and apologizing!!

  • SadDemInTex

    The Poles are white supremacists. They probably didn’t have to look far to get people there. Germany will be another story.

  • msanthropesmr

    A confused Donald Trump, started his speech by stating, “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.” And finished by saying, “thank you Lech Walesa, who is doing such good things that more an more people are talking about him”

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      During the pre-speech briefing, his aides had to constantly remind him that it was “Lech Walesa,” not “Wally the Letch”.

  • Joe Beese

    This morning in Warsaw, Poland, President Donald Trump issued a battle cry — for “family, for freedom, for country, and for God” — in a speech that often resorted to rhetorical conceits typically used by the European and American alt-right. It sounded, at times, not just like the populists of the present but the populists of the past.

    Drafted by Steve Miller, the architect of the travel ban, Trump’s speech used the type of dire, last-chance wording often utilized by the far right on both sides of the Atlantic: “The fundamental question of our time is whether the West has the will to survive.”

    “Do we have the confidence in our values to defend them at any cost?” Trump asked. “Do we have enough respect for our citizens to protect our borders? Do we have the desire and the courage to preserve our civilization in the face of those who would subvert and destroy it?”

    https://www.vox.com/world/2017/7/6/15927590/trump-alt-right-poland-defend-west-civilization-g20

    For “populists of the past”, read “HITLER! GET IT?”

    • Ghenghis McCann

      More like Vichy France. They replaced Liberté, égalité, fraternité with Travail, famille, patrie.

  • rocktonsam

    its a week day for cripes sake! get a jerb you hippie poles!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    So. there’s an American crowd, an English crowd, and a Polish crowd…

    • msanthropesmr

      Donald Trump walks into a Pole….

      • Oblios_Cap

        who hits him with a bar?

  • Antonin Dvorak

    The traitor flag is often used in Europe as a stand-in for Nazi regalia, since you can be arrested for brandishing the latter.

    • Joe Beese

      The swastika is about heritage, not hate.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        It is also about 7-10 years in Der Hoosegow.

        • armed_bears

          That’s what it’s called in Minnesota, too!

  • Wild Cat

    Man, remember when that fuck Reagan used to pimp for union leader Lech Walesa? This is just as surreal.

  • memzilla Ω

    Maybe not “paid” crowds. How about “coerced” crowds? As in, “If you want to keep your jerb, your political appointment, your advancement opportunity, your son out of jail, your corporate waiver, your export license, your shenanigans unrevealed.” There’s lots of ways to get people to show up at a political rally.

    • Oblios_Cap

      A day off to cheer for an hour?

  • Oblios_Cap

    Well, if Trump had praised Russia, the Poles wouldn’t have been cheering as loudly. The only thing they like less than a German is a Russian.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Trump: I had the greatest electoral college victory in history!
    Translator: Free kielbasa for everyone!
    Crowd cheers!
    Trump: I am bringing back coal!
    Translator: …and vodka!
    Crowd cheers louder…

  • Wild Cat

    Q: How many nazi-following Poles does it take to convince the late Harvey Pekar he’s Jewish, not Polish?

    A: Just one Polish nazi-follower with a loaded gun.

    (What, you were expecting a joke?)

  • How do you say “please clap” in Polish?
    https://i.ytimg.com/vi/OUXvrWeQU0g/hqdefault.jpg

    • Joe Beese

      JEB’S NOT LOOKING SO BAD NOW IS HE

      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        He might not have been the brightest fork in the drawer, but I’m fairly certain he wouldn’t have also been certifiably insane.

      • armed_bears

        Agreed. The Harmless Bush in 2020!™

  • Zonath

    The Poles, being students of history, probably figure that if they massage this secretly-Russian-allied fascist’s sack, maybe they won’t be invaded first this time.

  • Vincent Ricola

    How many Trumps does it take to screw in a light bulb?

    They’ll all take turns screwing it eventually. Then they’ll screw it’s children and parents and neighbors and coworkers and pets.

    • No Polish jokes!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Damn. I was about to make a Pledge joke.

        • msanthropesmr

          Dammit! That was gonna be my joke

  • jesterpunk

    Shut the Fuck Up Donny.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2017/07/06/in-poland-trump-offers-a-questionable-credential-polish-americans-preferred-me-to-clinton/

    “As you know,” he said during a news conference Thursday morning in Warsaw, “Polish Americans came out in droves, they voted in the last election, and I was very happy with that result.”

    “The Poles have not only greatly enriched this region,” he said a bit later at a public
    event, “but Polish Americans have also greatly enriched the United States. And I was truly proud to have their support in the 2016 election.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Hey, I’m all for being proud of America and “The West”. I really am.

    I just want us to be something worth being proud of first.

    What’s worth being proud of? Progress in civil rights. Progress in caring for our most vulnerable citizens. Fairness and humanity in immigration policy. Real protection of our natural resources and of the global environment.

    When I feel confident of those things, I’ll be the most pro-‘Western’ values and “America, fuck yeah” guy you ever met.

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      What, you’re not proud of fucking over the poor? You’re not proud of increasing the Dampnut family’s bank accounts? You’re not proud of that big, beautiful chocolate cake?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Well, all those things do give me a warm feeling. The one you get in the pit of your stomach right before you hurl.

    • (((fka_donnie_d)))

      Look, if our cultural achievements are like this Massive Gift to Humanity, and shit, how in the world are they threatened by immigration? The only reason these people would consider immigration a threat is if they secretly think that _our culture is total garbage_ and the Masses would quickly switch to eating _those people’s_ food, reading their literature, and listening to their music given half a chance.

  • Michael R
  • bookish

    Full text Trump speech in Poland.

    http://nbcnews.to/2tkHt7B

    • Mike Steele

      Fuck it – saw it live! OMG, Bookish, it’s even worse transcripted.

  • Wild Cat

    Remember: They cheered the nazis and Reagan, too . . .

    • miss_grundy

      There are a lot of mean jokes about Poles being stupid but when you cheer Hitler, Reagan and this guy…..then there is something wrong with your brain.

  • nightmoth

    I don’t have teevee. Is ANY USA television news outlet reporting this and emphasizing that these people were bussed in and instructed? They better damn be.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Bussing people in?. That was so 1960’s and civil rights. Nobody cares these days.”

  • Michael R

    Looks like he brought his handy checklist with him …

    You Might Be A Fascist If…

    1. You believe in rule by the few, in which a few powerful wealthy people control how the country is governed and decide what the population as a whole can or cannot do, often making rules that infringe upon the personal liberties of others just because you believe a certain way.

    2. You are obsessed with national power and pride and believe your country doesn’t have to follow the rules and shouldn’t ever apologize for doing things that are wrong. You think your nation can do whatever it wants without criticism or consequence.

    3. You consider homosexuality, birth control, contraception, prostitution, and pornography deviant sexual behavior and seek to outlaw all.

    4. You disrespect women and think their place is in the home. You believe women are weak and cannot do things that men do. You make every effort to make sure you get to control women’s bodies and make reproductive decisions for them. You believe that sexual harassment or assault is no big deal and that the only thing women are good for is cooking meals and having babies.

    5. You are obsessed with national security and war. You feed this obsession by spending trillions of dollars building up an over-sized military force and are willing to sacrifice domestic programs your people count on to keep your military huge. You start unnecessary and costly wars and you are paranoid of other nations.

    6. You are driven to indoctrinate others into your way of thinking. So much so, that you try to re-write history, change the way school children are taught and you brainwash the ignorant.

    7. You fear and demonize intelligent people who have a higher education because they are the ones who can thwart your effort to brainwash people. You then attempt to prevent others from achieving a higher education because you want the people as ignorant as possible so you can convince them that your way is the right way.

    8. You have a deep hatred and fear of communists and you instill your followers with hatred and fear of others by accusing your political opponents of being communists. Any person or policy you don’t like is branded as communism so you can convince your supporters to oppose it by playing on the fears you instilled in them.

    9. You use the media as a political propaganda machine to target a specific audience and to push your agenda on others. You make sure your media machine demonizes your opponents and takes your side on nearly every issue. Your media machine disregards facts in favor of flagrant rhetoric and misinformation. You use your propaganda machine to generate fear and hate towards others, especially those you disagree with.

    10. You strongly align yourself with corporations and you support corporate money and influence in government. You despise government regulations that keep corporations honest because you believe everything should be controlled by the free market and that corporations should be allowed to do whatever they please.

    11. You are obsessed with your perverted brand of Christianity. You seek to declare a Christian State and to impose religious laws on all the people across the country and the world. You believe other religions are inferior and that those who practice them should be converted, destroyed, or have their lives turned into a living hell.

    12. You believe your race is superior and seek to disenfranchise or humiliate other races. You believe in legalized discrimination and fantasize about a return to times when the races were separate or when those of color were enslaved. You use code words in an attempt to hide your racism and you make laws that weaken the influence of those of color. Immigration and voting laws in particular.

    13. You absolutely despise unions. To you and those like you, labor unions represent the empowerment of workers. Since you believe corporations can do whatever they want, you see organized labor as a threat because they fight for higher wages, health care, safety regulations, less hours, vacations, sick days, and holidays off. This obviously threatens the amount of money corporations can give to you and your cause so you brand unions as proponents of socialism and make laws that severely weaken them so that corporations can have a cheap, powerless labor force they can abuse.

    14. You are obsessed with crime and a major supporter of punishing those who commit crimes. So much so, that you don’t care about the concept of ‘innocent until proven guilty.’ You are proud of executing people and aren’t bothered if an innocent person is killed. You seek to make harsher laws, especially laws that target specific groups of people such as immigrants, women, and people of color. You even defend a militarized police force that uses heavy-handed tactics. You also try to insert religion-based laws into the civil law so you can persecute people who haven’t adopted your strict moral code. You also oppose Miranda rights and using humane interrogation tactics and you seek to undermine the independent judicial system.

    15. You believe every election should go your way and to reach that goal, you push voting laws that disenfranchise those who traditionally vote for opponents such as people of color, the elderly, college students, and the poor. You even stoop to fixing elections in some cases, especially through gerrymandering to guarantee you’ll win every time. And you complain when your opponents challenge the vote counts.

    16. You believe in rewarding your friends with positions when you gain power and you reward those who support you with government contracts and money, especially corporations. You also do your best to aid your supporters in any way you can, such as repealing undesirable pieces of legislation and regulations.

    17. You create scapegoats to blame when problems arise. Whether it’s communists, liberals, minorities, homosexuals, the poor, immigrants, or non-Christians, one thing is for certain. You and your propaganda tool will blame each and every one of those groups for bad things that happen even if you were the cause of the problems in the first place.

    18. You take advantage of a national disaster such as an economic collapse or an attack to demonize your opponents and push your agenda, especially agendas that include huge military forces and less regulations for corporations. You use these events to strike fear into the population in an attempt to scare people into voting for you and your cause.

    19. You believe in survival of the fittest, an every man for himself social mentality that causes you to believe that poor people and sick people are weak and must be punished. You think rich people are strong because they are wealthy and that they should rule us, which also ties into rule by a few. You also believe your race is superior to all others and you work diligently to keep it that way.

    20. You hate liberal democracy and dream of a single party state where you have perpetual control and your opponents can no longer stand against your agenda.

    • Proud Liberal

      Trump is all of these things.

      • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

        He certainly instinctively leans towards a lot of those things, but that’s because he’s a controlling narcissist. He has no real ideology, other than his own self-aggrandizement. If he did, he’d be way more dangerous.

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Trump is most of those things. 3, 4, 6, and 11 he’s pretty weak on (which is good), and 8 is a little outdated. For 8, I would substitute “liberalism”, but it applies more to the modern GOP than to Trump himself.

    • Also if you mow your lawn and find a car.

      Right?

  • x111e7thst

    who hold their tiny fingers …

  • Poland learned from Saudi Arabia that if this President* will roll over on his back for you if you flatter him enough and make him feel important.

  • Claire

    Haha oops. Looks like not everyone in Poland loves The Donald.

    https://twitter.com/_AndyHa/status/882982899913502720

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Ooh, well done.

      • Claire

        The look on his face is priceless.

        • Shanzgood TOMORROW

          The epitome of “face like a smacked bum.”

    • Thorn Spike

      Almost as good as Melania’s hand flicks.

    • PubOption

      “Is that Mika, she’s got the same hairstyle?”

    • miss_grundy

      Hahahahahahahaha! Good for the Polish First lady, even though she belongs to a bad political party.

    • Jamespuck

      I think she thought he was reaching for her pussy not a handshake.

    • Komsumverweigerer Ron

      Ooh, there’s gonna be a tantrum on Twitter tonight!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in: To prevent muslim immigration to Europe, Trump proposes building a wall across the Mediterranean. “LIbya will pay for it” says Trump.

    • jesterpunk

      He is going to build a wall of Trump hotels?

  • Joe Beese

    Meanwhile, back home:

    White House advisers have discussed a potential point of leverage over their adversary, a senior administration official said: a pending merger between CNN’s parent company, Time Warner, and AT&T. Mr. Trump’s Justice Department will decide whether to approve the merger, and while analysts say there is little to stop the deal from moving forward, the president’s animus toward CNN remains a wild card.

    [my emphasis]

    This detail is buried 12 paragraphs into a feature on CNN’s combative relationship with Trump. Which is bizarre, given that it’s an open confession of corruption by a senior White House official. It hardly matters whether the administration follows through on its threat: The White House is extorting a news network in the pages of the New York Times. The fact that this didn’t strike the paper as headline material is a testament to how thoroughly Trump has already succeeded in eroding our expectations for good governance. …

    The White House is openly threatening to punish a (barely) adversarial outlet through selective regulatory enforcement. White nationalist Trump supporters are threatening to kill investigative reporters and assembling outside their homes.

    Donald Trump has been president for less than six months.

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/07/white-house-if-cnn-bashes-trump-trump-may-block-merger.html

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      To be honest, this is one instance where Trump’s weirdly pathological hatred of a network that would love to suck his dick if he’d just call them once in a while might be helpful. Do people really want more consolidation of our telecom zaibatsu?

      • Joe Beese

        Yeah, there’s no one to root for here.

    • The Wanderer

      The next six months loom.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    “And remember, the first one to stop clapping gets shot!”

  • weejee

    Tadeusz Kościuszko weeps.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      When two populist authoritarian leaders totally misrepresent you, your’e really fucked.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Applaud or the robot will wipe out your family and pets.

    https://cdn.theatlantic.com/static/mt/assets/science/bender-applause_medium.gif

  • msanthropesmr

    Potrumpkin Village idiots.

  • Bill D. Burger

    They learned the “Jeb Method” didn’t work well.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/l0NwPo3VHujpJDI4w/giphy.gif

  • JoeChristmas

    Ich bin ein Pollack!

  • Covfefe

    Now you know why Uday and Qusay are upset with the Republican National Committee. If the Law & Justice Party can bus all these people in for Donald’s appearance, why couldn’t the GOP have bused a few people in for the inauguration?

    • Snark Tank Full of Resistance

      What makes you think they DIDN’T?

    • Ghenghis McCann

      The owners of the bus companies knew that Trump wouldn’t pay? “The wheels on the bus go round and round. I’m right amn’t I. But these ones move forward as well. That’s not what I wanted.”

  • JoeChristmas

    Paid protestors! Alll 5,000 of them!

  • TJ Barke

    Lots of Dunning-Kruegerands in those tweets.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      South Africa libel!

  • Finnibar87

    The party offers people the day off, gives them a sign and a ride.

  • Rick Hill

    “So, Vlad…sorry, Prezident Putin. you see, I had to say those things to get a little credibility. You understand, right? You’re not angry with me….are you? Will this smooth it over? Not sure what it is but it has all kinds of top sekrit stamps on it and I don’t understand a word of it.”

    • Bozilingus

      “Here, Donald, let me pour you a cup of tea.”

    • Mike Steele

      So, this will take care of that monstrous ‘loan’ that has kept me one step ahead of yet another bankruptcy, nyet? I took this hateful job, filled the cabinet with kleptocrats ‘deconstructing the administrative state’, put the Mercers in charge of foreign/domestic policy, garnered millions for my kids’ businesses and charities from our bestest buddies, the Saudis; sicced all of the Middle East against Qatar; trashed all of our former allies in NATO; embraced Recep, Duterte and every other scumbag dictator on the planet…what the hell else do you want from me – the sovereignty of the United States??? Well, if I must…Just stop staring at me like that – and don’t touch me with those big germy hands!

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      Lying or stupid?

      • Rick Hill

        A lot of column A….a lot of column B

    • Lance Thrustwell

      …like your family?

    • Joe Beese
      • Komsumverweigerer Ron

        Though without the incisive wit.

    • Finnibar87

      Yeah, the garbage known as you idiot father.

    • BigCSouthside

      I’m starting to think these kids were abused to the point that they believe their dad to be god, and reject reality on all fronts if it does not suit their broken minds’ view of the world

      • GunToting[Redacted]

        When your personal fortune depends on sucking up to someone, it’s easier to cave. Also, of course they have been beaten into adoration of the Trumphead.

    • P’jama Pahnts

      If everything is awesome how is there garbage to cover?

  • Wild Cat

    “Is that a kielbasa in your pockets or are you just happy to see me, Polanders?”

    • Jamespuck

      He’s still looking for the spring that that very,very good water comes from.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Wonder how many euros the thousands of anti-Trump protesters in Hamburg are costing Soros?

    Soroseuros?

    ~snicker~

  • Wild Cat

    “Oh, this is where Poland Springs water comes from.”

    • Finnibar87

      Thus, dissing the great state of Maine in the process.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Poland spring water and placki ziemniaczane are why Hitler invaded.

    • Bozilingus
  • Wild Cat

    “Much fine culture here, fine culture. I was watching this sad movie the other day and said, ‘Thank God for the Polish Brothers.'”

    • eggs ackly-wright

      I watched Knife in the Water the other night. It had English subtleties.

      • Wild Cat

        Good film.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Was ‘subtleties’ a purposeful misspelling? Either way, it makes your comment hilarious.

        • eggs ackly-wright

          On purpose. I actually overheard that remark at a party sometime in the 60’s.

          • Wild Cat

            The plot was stolen for a bad US film in the 1980s. One boat. Sexy wife. Outlaw. Dead dog. I’m thinking Nicole Kidman and some clown from the film Titanic were in it.

          • eggs ackly-wright

            Correct. Dead Calm. Sam Neill and Billy Zane.

      • mailman27

        The English make the bet subtleties. Served with tea and cucumber sammiches.

  • Rick Hill

    These righties don’t have to worry. Soon all will have to attend his appearances and all will be made to cheer his magnificance.

  • Proud Liberal
  • Wild Cat

    “And thank you, once more, Polanders, for inventing floor polish.”

    • Finnibar87

      I thought it was a dessert topping!

      • eggs ackly-wright

        “Just try it!”

  • Please tell me he didn’t lead with, “So how many of you people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”

  • BigCSouthside

    A good portion of that speech could have been read to cheers at a Klan rally.

    Fucking dripping with white supremacy.

  • Beowoof14

    I do believe Donnie is going to find a more realistic welcome when he gets to Germany.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The invasion and occupation of Poland in a nutshell: “That’s trouble . . . that’s tough.” I can state unequivocally that Donald J. Trump is the greatest speaker ever elected (more or less) to the presidency.

    • Finnibar87

      Never mind how happy far too many Poles were to participate in the Holocaust.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        The nice Polish Catholics were so helpful.

        • Finnibar87

          They guided the Jews to Auschwitz, and everything.

    • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

      To describe being caught between Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin as “trouble” is like saying the universe is “large” or that Trump’s vocabulary is “small.”

  • Finnibar87

    The idiot Trump kniws Mika is Polish, right?

    • MynameisBlarney

      Goin’ out on a limb here, but…
      I’m gonna go with no, no he doesn’t.

  • Wild Cat

    “So this Fox bitch in the press corps, she wants to polish my knob, and I told the Fox skank, “I’m heading there next week'”

  • Mpeg

    About half those good citizens bus’d in were promised they were going to receive a free viewing of endless loop of footage featuring red pandas at play, alas~

  • Jamespuck

    Them Pollacks are so smart, so very, very, very, smart. Germans are just a bunch of vagrants suckling on the tits of America. Americans are just brain washed by the fake media. Everyone needs to love Trump very, very, very, very much. North Korea has been given a 15 minute timeout and sent to bed without any kimchi or chocolate cake. They’ve been so very, very, very bad. Russia will be next, no borscht for you. Winning or whineing you be the judge. But remember to love The Donald very,very,very,very muchly and bigly.

  • PubOption

    Lord Dampnut and Lady Melania sounds like an aristocratic couple.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      They’re The Aristocrats!

      • Mpeg

        Aristocrass?

  • Komsumverweigerer Ron

    ‘Okay, I need fifty of you. As usual, there’ll be a free lunch.’
    ‘Sure thing. Who are we going to see?’
    ‘Umm… Donald Trump.’
    ‘Then we’ll also want an open bar.’
    ‘<sighs> Done.’

    • Covfefe

      Seriously, you want a loud crowd, you give them two beers, no more no less.

  • Wild Cat

    “Polanders, I greet you with a warm Jestem dupkiem!”

  • Raan

    Also, the pro-government newspaper roughly translates to “Polish Newspaper”.

    The right are not particularly creative when it comes to naming.

  • TJ Barke

    The Polish government just knew that Donnie would need a safe space.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Ghenghis McCann

      Doesn’t the Wonkette house style recommend that it’s spelled “Baffoon”?

  • Notreelyhelping

    I thought Donnie considered the polls crooked.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Wild Cat

    “I love your country. I used to watch those Vincent Price Edgar Allen Poe films.”

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    I have some important advice for Trump for his upcoming meeting with Putin: no teeth.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • TJ Barke

    Talking with a wingnut: http://www.smbc-comics.com

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • elviouslyqueer

      The only thing that would make this better is if she actually shoved his ass clean out of the way, a la what Cheeto did to Montenegro’s PM.

  • Joe Beese

    “Fuck your feelings” was a resonant refrain among many Trump supporters during the 2016 campaign. …

    But President Trump, champion of fuck your feelings, has proved to be the most delicate snowflake of all. …

    Poland is not on the way to Hamburg from the United States. It’s an overshoot. But it’s the closest place to the G-20 the president could land with the reasonable expectation that he wouldn’t be triggered by hordes of protesters the second he landed. …

    Just to be on the safe side, Polish officials bused extra Trump fans into Warsaw from across the countryside, armed with cheers and enthusiasm, and none of that scary dissent that frightens Donald so very much. …

    The rest of this week promises to be… rougher for President Trump and his eggshell emotions. …

    Trump will have to face a harsh world, one far from the safe space of his office with the enormous TV screen and the approving hedgehog face of Sean Hannity.

    http://www.thedailybeast.com/president-snowflake-trump-needs-a-safe-space-in-europe

  • Proud Liberal
    • Ghenghis McCann

      No hotels in Hamburg would let Trump through the door. They have their guests to consider.

  • Wild Cat

    “I’m hungry. Any Jewish delis around here?”

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸
    • cmd resistor

      Wait, I thought ALL THE POLES love him?

      • ltmcdies

        just the ones they paid and bused in

  • Wild Cat

    “And SCTV used to show your great singer, Bobby Bittman.”

  • calliecallie

    “Not my circus, not my monkey.”
    A Polish expression someone told me once. I imagine some of those Poles on the bus were thinking of it on the ride.

  • Mpeg

    Polish composer Penderecki, whose “Threnody to Victims of Hiroshima” was featured in last week’s Twin Peaks, has been summoned to conduct the accompaniment for a proto-Lynchian visual stunt-piece called “Make America Puke A Stream of Trump-Entrapped In Orb-Laced Galactic Spam-Sausage Again.”

  • GunToting[Redacted]

    Didn’t the Polish Deplorables staff Auschwitz Buchenwald?

    • ltmcdies

      yup….fun how Donnie forgot that bit

  • mancityRed6

    “Repeatedly, throughout a speech in which the president recounted Polish history to the visitors, waiting people chanted “Donald Trump” and repeatedly interrupted him to do so.”
    so he told them their own history, and since they were tired of hearing his voice they tried to get him to just shut the hell up?
    that’s what I’m taking from this.

  • Wild Cat

    “I will have brought home a great deal for my people in the spirit of diplomacy – Polish mangoes.”

  • Sister Suffragette

    “Pole poll.” Snort.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Its just like those nice Nuremberg rallies only in color.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Lady Melania, child laborers at your feet
    Wonder how you manage to make ends meet
    Who finds the money? When you pay the rent?
    Did you think that money was Russian sent?
    Friday night arrives without a suitcase
    Sunday morning creep in like a nun
    President child has learned to tie his bootlace
    See how they run

    • ariel_gee_398

      Lady Melania, manchild paws your breast,
      Wonder if you slap him do you risk arrest?

  • ltmcdies

    well here’s one Pole who’s not a Donald fan..
    https://twitter.com/_AndyHa/status/882982899913502720

    • Ducksworthy

      Aw. And Donnie looks so sad. Sad and weak.

  • exinkwretch

    All those hollering white folks! Just like a Trump rally back home, only with more teeth because of socialized health care.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance
  • William

    Polish president’s wife SNUBS Donald Trump handshake – and darts for Melania.
    Caption.
    1. No way, I just saw that orange asshole pop a tic-tac. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c90a34b34c5d1ff8fb39fe120f5f30f687109d6975867c5d1aa417ca5198e6a1.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      Trump mumbles: “~bitch~ … maybe a 3 on a good day.”

      (*To be fair, she may not have even seen the tiny appendage extended to her.)

  • MynameisBlarney

    Droppin’ that Fibonacci Deuce!

    http://i.imgur.com/SE5zDBg.png

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