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We’d know that haircut anywhere.

The Justice Department has lost one of its top corporate ethics lawyers because trying to enforce laws against corporate crime while working for the Trump administration finally busted her own personal irony meter. Hui Chen left her position as Compliance Counsel Expert in the DOJ’s Fraud Section in June after deciding she couldn’t really fight corporate fraud while working for a fraudster. A former corporate attorney and federal prosecutor, Chen wrote a post on LinkedIn about her decision to leave the DOJ:

First, trying to hold companies to standards that our current administration is not living up to was creating a cognitive dissonance that I could not overcome. To sit across the table from companies and question how committed they were to ethics and compliance felt not only hypocritical, but very much like shuffling the deck chair on the Titanic.

Not quite the right analogy, we’d say; maybe it was more like being a condom inspector in a porcupine colony? In any case, Chen tired of examining and questioning corporations’ ethical behavior while having in mind the “numerous lawsuits pending against the President of the United States for everything from violations of the Constitution to conflict of interest,” not to mention his habit of firing watchdogs. The Trump administration’s routine way of doing business involved conduct “I would not tolerate seeing in a company, yet I worked under an administration that engaged in exactly those [sic] conduct. I wanted no more part in it.”

Chen also said her ability to do her job had been undercut by the administration in even more practical terms, since she was not allowed to speak publicly:

Second, my ability to do good at a more micro-level, by exchanging ideas with the compliance community on ways to assess the effectiveness of compliance programs, was severely limited. The management of the Criminal Division, of which the Fraud Section is a part, has persistently prohibited me from public speaking.

But golly, can you blame them? She was obviously some kind of weird Ethics Malcontent, based on some of her Tweets:

That last one was posted to Twitter the day after news broke that James Comey kept memos of all his conversations with Trump. You see? She seems to think the government is supposed to be ethical or something, no matter how badly that might hurt profits for the Trump Organization. Hardly a team player, and she showed sympathy for a guy who was such a bad team player he had to be fired.

Chen said now that she’s no longer trying to check corporations for ethical rot while having a desk in the swamp, she hopes to help really clean things up, from the outside:

I have come to realize that nothing matters to me more than working to restore the notions of integrity, decency, and intellect back into our government. I yearn to be a part of that effort more directly than volunteering for and attending protests: I want to help elect candidates who stand for those values.

She plans to work with efforts to improve ethics and compliance within corporations and in government, and to “participate in efforts to hold our elected representatives accountable and to protect our environment.”

So we’re guessing we can look forward to Donald Trump tweeting that Hui Chen is an Obama-hugging loser who simply couldn’t cut it, as demonstrated by the fact that once she left government, she couldn’t even get hired by Goldman-Sachs.

Chen’s position at the DOJ is expected to be filled by a Mr. B. Madoff.

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[International Business Times / LinkedIn / Radical Compliance]

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  • Covfefe

    Donald believes in a self-policing morals regime.

  • memzilla Ω

    The White House responded with an official statement: “Ethics Shmethics.”

  • TundraGrifter

    I posted news about this on the Open Thread. So I’ll repeat my comment here.

    She’s hired by Robert Mueller in three…two…one…

  • canes_pugnaces

    Rump ‘The Capacious’ don’t do much good. Not talk with moving tongue. Not reach nicely with tiny hands. Not speak with sounds that are true. Not be kind to other humans, unless they goose step to his orangeness. If only there was more backbone and less baying down there in swampville.

  • elviouslyqueer

    So we’re guessing we can look forward to Donald Trump tweeting that Hui Chen is an Obama-hugging loser who simply couldn’t cut it,

    Oh please. Even money says he’ll fart out something along the lines of “What do you expect from somebody named Ching Chong Chen,” so it can be both condescending and offensively racist.

  • armed_bears

    Ever so modestly OT:

    New Mexico, our secretary of state and our eleventy eleven residents kindly ask Kris Kobach and Donald Trump to go fornicate in a big ole’ pile of somebody else’s voter registration information.

    • elviouslyqueer

      Our resident idiot, Delbert Hosemann, did the same thing, and was downright WITTY about it! http://www.clarionledger.com/story/news/politics/2017/06/30/hosemann-voter-records/444623001/

      And yes, that’s his actual name.

      • armed_bears

        Yeah… I saw that and, thus far, he wins the Internet…

        • armed_bears

          And, really, how often do you get to see “Mississippi for the win”?

          • elviouslyqueer

            I’m going for “Hardly ever at all, Katie.”

      • Shanzgood 4 Days

        I still think it’s funny how Kobach stepped on his own dick because KS state law prevents him from complying with his own request.

        For now, anyway.

        • Le Chapeau

          I’m sure he missed the irony of it.

      • Doug Langley

        Unfortunately, the Mississippi beach is so shallow that jumping into it only goes ankle deep, but I still like the sentiment.

        • theCryptofishist

          Hey, it’s pretty important to those of us without ankles.

  • gene108

    The current vision for government is billionaires decide what this country needs to do. They instruct the politicians they have bought, who basically act as middle management to keep the rubes proletariat in line, to pass those ideas into laws.

    Therefore, government ethics equals how quickly politicians jump to follow the orders of the 0.1%.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
  • Joe Beese
    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Why!? Is she still a thing in Israel?

  • OneYieldRegular

    #RealDonaldTrump: “Ethics are for losers.”

  • Jeff Ackerman

    Ethics definition for the Proletariat,
    eth·ics

    ˈeTHiks/Submit

    noun

    1. moral principles that govern a person’s behavior or the conducting of an activity.

    Ethics definition for Republican,

    eth·ics

    ˈeTHiks/Submit

    noun

    1. unscrupulous, fraudulent, or deceptive methods in business or every day life.

    • SeeTrain65

      Trump thinks “Ethics” is that cable network that shows It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and American Horror Story.

      Then again, every day of his term has been American Horror Story.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Trump is draining the swamp all right. He’s draining it of every creature that could be beneficial.

    • TJ Barke

      He drained it and refilled it with toxic waste.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    “What’s the big deal? I don’t like ethic food either…except Mexican, as long as they pay for it… And I heard she was ethic Chinese anyway.”

    D. “Assfefe” Trump

  • CindyinEncinitas

    Giving up her seat in the den of thieves. Good on her!

    • theCryptofishist

      Oh, I wish the competent, dedicated people would stay. So much gluing back together next sane administration… I can only hope that she’s tan, rested, and ready when the time comes.

  • Everrett Fanuelli
  • Mavenmaven

    He’ll just make some quip about her not being attractive enough for him.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      That was my first thought, too.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        And in private he’ll make the most vile racist remarks, worse than we can even imagine. He’s such a pig.

        • Last Hussar

          In private?

          • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

            You’re right, what was I thinking?

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    This is a much better wrestling meme!

    https://twitter.com/McJesse/status/881533437148098560

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Definitely go on Twitter and retweet!

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Did it before I posted here.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          Bravo!

  • baconzgood

    She actually wanted to do work and not sit around taking cat naps or snarking on Wonkette in the office? This is so strange a concept to baconz and how he behaves in an office environment.

    • Shanzgood 4 Days

      I’m sure you’re the very model of professional decorum.

      • baconzgood

        Does Gorilla glueing phones down and hiding lunch meat in the HAVAC vents count? Then yes I’m professional

      • theCryptofishist

        Must be love.

        • Shanzgood 4 Days

          You’ll know because at zero days you prolly won’t hear from us.

  • Khavrinen

    Someone so obviously lacking in the kind of “loyalty” required by the tRump administration clearly would have been “You’re fired” before too long anyway.

  • The Wanderer

    Has anyone done the “Do not bring your evil here” line yet?

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I bet people in this administration gets a rash when they hear the word “ethics”.

    • mackafritz

      They probably don’t recognize “ethics” as being a word.

      • OutOfOrbit

        They hear, “Arf! Arf!”

        • theCryptofishist

          To be fair, they hear that no matter what people say, unless it’s in very dumb-downed English.

  • TheGrandWazoo2
    • Christopher Story

      I laugh-puked at that

  • Raan

    Maybe, if we ask really nicely, NATO and the UN will liberate the country on it’s birthday.

    • baconzgood

      Or a Canadian preemptive invasion.

      • Raan

        Also yes.

    • whitroth

      Back to what I was saying 14 years ago – if they invade, they just need to be led by the Belgians, who will hand out CHOCOLATE, and just waltz into the WH and Congress without a shot being fired….

      Go play Leonard Cohen’s Democracy is Coming to the USA.

  • TJ Barke

    The conmander in chief isn’t ethical? No wai!

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • TJ Barke

      Needs moar head.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        That’s what she said.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          No, she didn’t.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Bah. You’re abusing alcohol at that point.

    • baconzgood

      That’s the closest he will get to having a good head.

      • whitroth

        One wonders about Kelleyanne Conway

      • handyhippie65

        there is obviously a better head on that beer, than on dumpy.

        • Le Chapeau

          Just like his comb-over, it’s mostly air.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      That’s too much head, said no guy, ever.

      • handyhippie65

        i don’t know, i’ve seen the time i had to push my lady away cause i couldn’t take any more. damn, i miss that woman.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Wow. I bet. Seems like there would come a point where you might like some quiet time, you know, to reflect on the day and such.

          • handyhippie65

            or just stop my legs from shaking, and my toes from curling.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Whoops, that keg is blown.

      • TundraGrifter

        Why is it at every party ever every person has to pump the keg like they were whacking off to a video of Margo Robbie? The damn thing gets more full of air than President Trump, nothing but foam comes out, so they just pump some more.

        The next day, while cleaning up, you try to move the keg and it’s two-thirds full of beer.

        • handyhippie65

          you invite too many ijits, mebbe?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          This is why people should leave such things in the hooves of qualified unicorns.

    • JustDon’tSayShank

      Might be a wee bit overcarbonated.

    • handyhippie65

      i agree. he’s the last dregs of the keg.

      • theCryptofishist

        And it looks like a pilsner or lager. Yeck! I have one of those oddities that leaves them tasting like soap. Porters, ales, and stouts only, please.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      AND that’s urine at the bottom, too

  • Good_Gawd_Yall
    • Christopher Story

      Some of them want to feed those children to the tiger because because some others will pay them a lot of money

    • TJ Barke

      Yeah, but the idea that it might eat the kids sure made those liberals nervous!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Liberals told them to not buy a tiger. That sealed the deal right there.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        HAR HAR! And they love laughing at liberals! Just like they mock the people who point out they’ve supported an arsonist for Fire Chief, and he’s setting their own house on fire SUCK IT LIBERALS!! Totally worth it!

        • Bongstar420

          We all live in the same house

    • gene108

      As long as half of all white people approve of the job he’s doing, he’s still in good shape. White people put him office and they like what he’s doing.

      http://www.people-press.org/2017/06/20/public-has-criticisms-of-both-parties-but-democrats-lead-on-empathy-for-middle-class/1_7-9/

      • The Wanderer

        Not this white person, thank you very much.

        • Roadstergal

          #NotAllWhitePeople

          #ButFarTooFuckingMany

      • Weird Fishes

        I belong in the “nay” column, please.

    • handyhippie65

      how about the one where he’s going to let american children die due to lack of health care, but is going to help an english infant who has little hope of life, and is to be taken off life support. it’s terry schiavo all over again. only this time it’s a foreign national.

      • WIDTAP

        Well, so many of the US citizens in similar health and financial distress were brown. How can you blame the guy for looking overseas for someone to give healthcare to.

    • theCryptofishist

      Well, at least they didn’t buy a face eating leopard.

    • Bongstar420

      Oh, youre sure it wasn’t Hillary Hate? She barely lost

    • JustDon’tSayShank

      Turns out you don’t even have to grow up.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        That was my first thought, too. Hats off (and damn your eyes)!

        • JustDon’tSayShank

          Hey, I don’t get to be first very often. The shot was there, and I took it.

      • Bongstar420

        Being rich suffices. It really does make a loser win.

    • Bongstar420

      Not really.

      Not anyone can be born with a daddy to bestow $300,000,000 upon the family.

      Even Hillary and Obama are from solidly middle class backgrounds. Since most people qualify as poor, I’d say its highly unlikely 50% even have a chance. I know I don’t.

    • MrTusks

      This weekend, quite unbelievably, my dad called Trump a narcissist and said “that’s what you get when you elect a guy like that,” like I fucking voted for him and he fucking didn’t.

      He also said the media will never get him to admit a lie so they should just stop trying, as if we need his consent to impeach him.

  • DainBramage

    While it’s sad that our government has lost such a committed person, I completely understand why she could not go on.

    • Maggielle

      I hope she finds a safe way to keep in contact with her colleagues who stayed – you know there must be a ton of them who agree with her. We need us some whistleblowers.

  • Ducksworthy

    Its not like Donnie had to pay $25 million to settle a fraud case, this year.

    • Bongstar420

      Na…it was just easier for him to do that. You know, because he is super awesome and tremendously rich.

  • AuntyMaude

    Please tell me that the last sentence in this piece is a joke. Please!

    • thixotropic jerk

      Haven’t you heard? Precdnetial pardons often come with a guaranteed government jerb! Bernie M would make a perfectly wonderful ethics arbiter!

      • WIDTAP

        Hey, it work for Joe Kennedy.

      • The Librarian

        How jaded I’ve become that this would not surprise me.

    • doktorzoom

      Wonkette never jokes. Except for when we do.

      • Le Chapeau

        And comments are not allowed, except when they are.

    • theCryptofishist

      You might enjoy a little light reading courtesy of wikipedia: Madoff’s attorney asked the judge to recommend that the Federal Bureau of Prisons place Madoff in the Federal Correctional Institution, Otisville, which is located 70 miles (110 km) from Manhattan. The judge, however, only recommended that Madoff be sent to a facility in the Northeast United States. Madoff was transferred to the Federal Correctional Institution Butner Medium near Butner, North Carolina, about 45 miles (72 km) northwest of Raleigh; he is Bureau of Prisons Register #61727-054. Jeff Gammage of the Philadelphia Inquirer said “Madoff’s heavy sentence likely determined his fate.”

      Madoff’s projected release date is November 14, 2139. The release date, described as “academic” in Madoff’s case because he would have to live to the age of 201, reflects a reduction for good behavior. On October 13, 2009, it was reported that Madoff experienced his first prison yard fight with another inmate, also a senior citizen. When he began his sentence, Madoff’s stress levels were so severe that he broke out in hives and other skin maladies soon after.

      On December 18, 2009, Madoff was moved to Duke University Medical Center in Durham, North Carolina, and was treated for several facial injuries. A former inmate later claimed that the injuries were received during an alleged altercation with another inmate.

      Other news reports described Madoff’s injuries as more serious and including “facial fractures, broken ribs, and a collapsed lung”. The Federal Bureau of Prisons said Madoff signed an affidavit on December 24, 2009, which indicated that he had not been assaulted and that he had been admitted to the hospital for hypertension.

      In his letter to his daughter-in-law, Madoff said that he was being treated in prison like a “Mafia don”.

      They call me either Uncle Bernie or Mr. Madoff. I can’t walk anywhere without someone shouting their greetings and encouragement, to keep my spirit up. It’s really quite sweet, how concerned everyone is about my well being, including the staff […] It’s much safer here than walking the streets of New York.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Good on her.

  • Teto85

    trump’s DOJ only wants to prosecute brown people and patients taking herbal medications.

    • kaydenpat

      Yep. White Supremacists are alright.

  • Bongstar420

    trump supporters define their own realities. Its actually fairly common. But don’t forget. Half of his voters pulled the lever with casual indifference or knee jerkingly against Hillary hate.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    It’s really not a problem. I’m sure the Trumpster has a list of literally hundreds of unqualified people to replace the people who can no longer stand the stench. Can’t be a Palin though…they quit for no reason at all.

  • andy synonymous

    Under Holder’s DOJ the corporate ethics villains who failed to see the light were made to feel the heat, so there really wasn’t that much left to do to clean up corporate ethics.

  • Arthur Gane

    According to Drumpf and his followers ethics are someone from another country.

  • Le Chapeau

    Essentially she is calling the White House a criminal enterprise under Trump.

    • Stulexington

      So the rare few lawyers who don’t lie all the time that the DoJ found are all running for the hills under Trump/Sessions. Somehow I’m not surprised.

  • phoenix00

    It might as well be Off Mad B taking over, won’t make one lick of difference.

  • tinker12
  • Zyxomma

    The reason Madoff is the only one of the fraudsters serving a long prison term is because he stole from the 1% rather than from us. Dimon still walks free.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I did some work on Chase’s behalf a few years back. Their stupid computer systems wouldn’t let me set my password to J@mieDim0nSux. J@m1eDIsAp0s didn’t work either. Hmph.

      • Zyxomma

        At least you tried.

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