Remember to leave out milk and cookies for Captain America tonight when he comes to leave presents under your flag.
experiment :
reblog this with your sexuality and if you bite down on ice cream or not when eating it
OK SO I WAS AT THE FABRIC STORE AND I WALKED BY SOME MEMORIAL DAY THEMED FABRIC AND
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS
WHY ARE THE ABS SO DETAILED AND NOT THE FACE WHAT
OMFG LINCOLN LOOKS LIKE EDWARD CULLEN WITH A BEARD I CAN’T DEAL WITH THIS SHIT
I HAVE A DRESS MADE OUT OF THIS FABRIC AND I GOT TO BE IN A PARADE BECAUSE OF IT
OKAY I WORK IN A FABRIC STORE AND ONE TIME THIS LITTLE OLD LADY CAME UP TO ME AND SLAMMED THE INDEPENDENCE DAY ONE DOWN ON THE COUNTER AND SAID, “THIS. THIS IS WHAT OUR COUNTRY NEEDS.”
I had an older man come into the fabric store that I used to work in and dropped 3 bolts of the firefighter one on my counter and said, “I need this. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with it, but I need it.” a man behind him then yelled, “Pyjamas!” and the first man said, “My husband recommends pyjamas.”
@ppl who get embarrassed bc they responded “you too” to a server who told them to enjoy their meal: if your first instinct is to be polite & friendly even when you’re not necessarily paying attention you have nothing to b embarrassed about
are you an impractical footwear even when it’s incredibly inconvenient gay, a practical footwear even when it’s incredibly inappropriate gay or a clunky boots gay who inhabits both spaces at once
#this is ‘i hate shoes’ gay erasure
you’re absolutely right if you are a barefoot gay you are valid
me when i’m horny: mmm nut all over my face daddy ;p
me after i cum first and he tries to cum on my face:
when u haven’t masturbated in ages and
damn imma stop masturbating for a while so i can grow cannons on my back and launch torrents of water at people