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Kellyanne Conway had a thing or two to straighten out with George Stephanopoulos on Good Morning America today, especially how the liberal media have cheapened our political discourse and done a disservice to America’s Lady Women by paying attention to all the weird stuff Donald Trump tweets instead of informing the ladies, on morning shows like GMA, about how tax cuts for the wealthy and slashing health insurance for 22 million will benefit ladies and their families.

“The toxicity both ways … uh, coming to the president is terrible,” Conway explained, correcting herself because all the toxicity is coming at the Great Man, obviously. Stupid media, always concentrating on all the insults directed at the president by Mika Brzezinski’s bleeding face:

The idea that the media, large parts of the media anyway, are covering personal insults about the president, this invective, and really denying America’s women their rightful knowledge on what he’s doing for them on taxes, on health care —

Ever the wily fake newser, Stephanopoulos countered that maybe the media are talking about Trump’s tweets because he tweeted stuff, and wouldn’t talk about his tweets if they were not tweeted, but she wasn’t buying that. After all, if Trump hadn’t tweeted about Mika’s face shooting blood at him like a Gila Monster (an urban myth, actually — Mika only spits a bloodlike substance from poison glands on her neck), then “you’d be talking about Russia.”

Oh, did she ever have him! She pointed out that the biased media simply refuses to talk about the president’s wonderful tax plan, which will help women so much, or about infrastructure, either, even though that refusal to promote the president’s agenda hurts

American people, particularly women, who tune into these shows to get information about what’s going on for them. This is someone who’s trying to get those millions of women who lack health care coverage, this is a man who’s trying to get tax relief and entrepreneurship freed up in this country for those American women who want to — and it doesn’t get covered! It just doesn’t get covered. There’s toxicity about this president.

Also, please note that THERE IS NO TAX PLAN.

Though maybe there would be if low-IQ media hoor ladies would stop bleeding at Donald Trump and let him work!

Ms. Conway then explained why so many U.S. Americans, like such as, cannot find their own country on a map, because the media keeps lying about Trump:

And now it is your open thread, at least until the Holiday Weekend Friday News Bomb drops, probably.

Yr Wonkette might be able to get something done if you people would just send us money by clicking the “Donate” clicky below. Stop making us pay attention to Kellyanne, dammit!

[RawStory]

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  • mancityRed6

    you’d think Kellyanne would keep some damn notes so she knows what lies she’s told already.
    honestly, she is the worst and it’s not because of her hoo haw, it’s because she can face herself in the mirror after spouting such utter bullshit.
    but, please, keep her on. keep tRump tweeting. this is how everything will fall apart.

  • The toxicity both ways … uh, coming to the president is terrible
    Sounds like she has been talking with Putin and polonium Vlad is not entirely happy?

    • mancityRed6

      is she in the market for a hot tub? Bannen’s old landlord has one for cheap.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I’ll throw in a toaster (and electric college votes) for free.

        • GoutMachine

          How about a microwave?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Complete with tin foil…!

  • schmannity

    The President is a Poopyhead!

    Failing Little Billy thinks I’m a Poopyhead, but why does he keep wetting the bed?

    @RealDonald Trump

  • Blackest Noobs

    wait tax plan? DOOOOD you need to finish healthcare bill first.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      The fact that the Senate is now considering repeal with no replace shows that their health plan was never a health plan at all. It was just an excuse to whack the budget to make room for those tax cuts.

      • Blackest Noobs

        Zippy they are not really considering just repeal…that would be absolute political career suicide…and one thing i know about Republicans is they are very adamant about political self-preservation.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          someone should tell that to Ben Sasse and a couple other GOP pols I saw interviewed this afternoon

  • BigCSouthside

    How the fuck can this woman even look at herself in the mirror?

  • shivaskeeper

    Minor correction: Gila Monsters are venomous, one of only two true venomous lizards in the Americas. Horned Toads are the ones that shoot blood from their faces. Other than that, it all looked good.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Thank you, I was just about to revoke Dok’s Too Stoned credentials. GIla Monsters are venomous, but you have to really mess with them to get bit and they don’t shoot anything (other than bad breath), they grind the venom in with their teeth. Horned Toads (actually lizards) are the ones who shoot blood from below their eyes and it’s not an urban myth (it’s just plain blood, nothing venomous about it)

      • shivaskeeper

        I should have clarified Horned Toads are lizards. I usually go with the Latin name instead of the common name, but didn’t want people to have to look it up. It’s the old reptile keeper in me.

        Inefficient rear fang setup for the Gila Monster.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          everyone here calls them horny toads

          • shivaskeeper

            I deliberately avoided that.

    • mancityRed6
      • shivaskeeper

        I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that before. There is insane and there is Japanese game show insane.

    • Three Finger Salute

      If Trump joined a rock band, he’d be the Dung Beatle.

    • Joe Beese

      Great, now you tell me.

  • schmannity

    Tweets are official statements of the White House. Why do you insist on covering them?

  • Dutchman

    The Wicked Witch of the West and Dog Murderer’s Dumber Sister speak of toxicity toward the President completely un-ironically.

    It’s as if they just morphed into existence a few months ago and have no memory of the past 8 years.

    • mancityRed6

      remember W? they don’t.

  • BadKitty904

    I blame that microwave oven.

    • Dutchman

      Fear the Keurig for it shall peer into the darkness of your soul…

      • mancityRed6
      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        The rich, French dark roast of your soul.

        • mancityRed6

          Kona or GTFO

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            Sumatra.

          • mancityRed6

            that weird coffee where they feed the beans to (monkeys? cats) and then dig it out of their crap for the win.

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            Nope. Just a stronger variety.

          • mancityRed6

            when I was going to the what was than a local Co-op, the Ethiopian was my choice.

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            I like the Ethiopian also. But I can’t drink it too often. Too bitter.

          • mancityRed6

            *looks at my two exes*
            I like my coffee like I like my…

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Community Dark Roast with Chicory.

        • Jukesgrrl

          You New Orleanians and your chicory!

    • OutOfOrbit

      I turned mine around facing the wall but it didn’t help.

      • Crystalclear12

        Well. . . the listening device is on the back so you may have made I worse.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Oh shit.

          • Crystalclear12

            By the way, would it kill you to put a new coat of paint on these walls!

          • OutOfOrbit

            Aww maaaan.

      • Panika MCD

        “you think this cord makes my capacitors look fat?”

    • Iron Monkey

      Right–can’t stick your head in it and turn it on with the door open.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      That microwave oven is too busy these days. It made the talk show circuit promoting “Transformers: The Last Knight” all week.

  • whitroth

    Hey, if we can do dick jokes….

    So, Kellyanne, how often does the Orange Thing visit you? Does Melania put out for him more than once a month? Or are you that good on your knees, under your own desk?

    • SnarkON

      Um, NO. (Apparently I am the Sexism Police today.)

    • Panika MCD

      nope.

    • Bobathonic

      I think they have to be classy dick jokes.

      • whitroth

        Thank you, I’m achieving cognitive dissonance, from reading “classy” and “dick jokes” in the same sentence.

  • Vincent Ricola

    There are few things as enraging as a terrible woman that professes to speak for all womankind. I do think it’s funny that smellyanne is only allowed to come on teevee during the snl off-season though.

  • Crystalclear12

    In her defense if you are surrounded by piles of shit there really isn’t anything good to pivot to.

    • jesterpunk

      In my defense she could just quit and get another job. Isnt that what that right to work republican stuff is all about?

  • armed_bears

    There’s some sort of feelin’ in the air. I sense an Explosive News Orgasm™ coming this evening….?

    • DainBramage

      Friday news dump combined with Congress critters heading home. Maybe.

      • cmd resistor

        Maybe the Eric Holder tweet? Trump is off to play golf in NJ for the weekend, having solved the Korea problems.

    • If somebody posts that damn Trump O face picture again I am going to be ill.

      • schmannity

        Could not find it, only his I Just Had the Most Satisfying Shit in my Pants Facehttps://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5a330c0ffd67ca2f7589a830f1d635759fe1fcb1110721870e92b7736e057b87.jpg

        • Ωbjectifier

          Six of one…

        • So that is why he likes Ted Nugent so much. They share a hobby.

    • BadKitty904

      Ew.

      • armed_bears

        Sorry… Evan’s term, not mine.

    • Ωbjectifier

      A Trump Dump™?

  • shivaskeeper

    Two Scoops tax policy is a page and a half memo that has not changed since it was released months ago. Why aren’t you covering it more? I call media bias.

  • BadKitty904
    • Blackest Noobs

      and that’s the thing…even if true or you really believe it…you just never ever ever admit to that….but alas…white people….whiny mutherfuckers about everything.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Hey! That’s not faaaaaaiiiiiirrrrr

  • I saw an article today that at a cabinet meeting they told Trump that using tariffs to try and start a trade war is a really bad idea. By a 22-3 margin. But Trump is one of the 3, so it still might happen. We really have a dumbass in the White House.

    • jesterpunk

      They also told him not to fire Comey and we saw how well that worked out.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Didn’t Star Wars start as a trade war?

      At least the first country he put a yuge tariff on has a bona fide Jedi in charge.

  • what, me worry?

    Remember back when, if you were a known bullshit artist who lied about everything, they wouldn’t invite you back on the TeeVee box anymore?

    That was, like, a whole 9 months ago.

    • schmannity

      Good news for bloated Dick Morris.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Bloated from too much toe sucking

  • Ωbjectifier

    Miss South Carolina libelz!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Oh yeah, there’s toxicity about this president. That’s to be expected when the president is actively destroying our democracy. Who knew?

    Also, too, what “personal attacks” has the Not-So-Great Pumpkin had to endure? Which is it, Kelly, is Donnie a tough guy? A “fighter”? Or is he a wilted orange snowflake who can’t take criticism without cry-tweeting at six in the morning?

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    This is someone who’s trying to get those millions of women who lack health care coverage, this is a man who’s trying to get tax relief and entrepreneurship freed up in this country for those American women who want to — and it doesn’t get covered!

    Okay, Kellyanne. So tell us. And be specific.

    • Suttree

      She always does a spin move and run sideways into the next pile of shit.

    • Panika MCD

      by “get those millions of women who lack healthcare” does she mean:

      a) get more women to lack healthcare
      b) grab women who lack healthcare by the pussy
      c) get any women ever

      • GoutMachine

        d) AOT,K

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Yes Kelly. Feel free to explain how repealing O-Care with no replacement gets more women heath coverage

  • Iron Monkey

    Why doesn’t the press cover what trump might do if he gets around to it instead of what he actually does? Clearly bias on the part of the Hollywood/media elite. And Nancy Pelosi and George Soros.

    • SnarkON

      Kathy Griffin libel.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Latest Quinnipiac poll is similar to last month’s which is almost entirely bad news for LIttle Babby Donnie.

    “Would you say that Donald Trump is honest?” 38%
    “Would you say that Donald Trump is level-headed?” 34%
    “… is abusing the powers of his office?” 52%
    “… approve of the way Donald Trump is handling health care?” 29%
    “…[is] Russian interference in the 2016 election an important issue?” 68%

    http://pollingreport.com/trump_ad.htm

    • SnarkON

      “Do you like gladiator movies?” 76%

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      How the hell can 38% think he’s “honest” and still be able to answer polling questions? 38% are that gullible? Can I sell 38% an monorail system?

    • Panika MCD

      do you think POTUS has body dismorphia? LEAVE BRITTANY ALONE!

  • SnarkON

    Beer time.

  • Dutchman

    As I exit stage left, you will find me drinking in the time is takes me to walk to my beer fridge. Adieu fair Wonkers and fellow non-commenters till we meet again.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Five o’clock and no new TrumpCare plan. I guess Little Babby Donnie was telling another LIE when he said it would be done on Day One.

    • Joe Beese

      Uh… surprise?

    • cmd resistor

      Day one of some period that hasn’t started yet.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I can’t watch that again because I’ll end up singing the entire score from Cats for several days.

  • Suttree

    How did Kellyanne get this way? I say raised in a Skinner box in Roger Ailes basement.

  • Jenny

    I have done very scientific tests and I must conclude tai chi makes the poop machine work more better than other forms of exercise. This very important study will be published right next to Scott Pruitt’s study on global warming.

    • The highly touted study on Qigong for bladder issues reads like tax cuts for the rich rather than a wellness plan.

      • Panika MCD

        I thought it read like yoga for those in chronic pain…

    • II Gosala

      I tried the tai chi dance but i could never get knees and ankles to … whatever they were supposed to do.

    • whitroth

      No shit?!

      Actually, it’s been decades – I should go back to doing tai chi….

  • memzilla Ω

    You could actually get more information from this administration just by putting an ACTUAL GASLIGHT on camera instead.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b8351da11d579968b34d695ba862aedfa068603da742e614b9506f29853a8ab6.jpg

    • LucindathePook

      Dese bee-yoo-ti-ful kittehs. Long life to them and happiness to all.

    • Ωbjectifier

      That’s a helluva act!

    • Panika MCD

      do they have names yet? ’cause I want to hug ’em an’ squeeze ’em an’ call them “George”!

      • My dog is named George. (But more for Curious George because he gets into everything.)

      • The roaring lion boy is Simon, his sister with the tan patch on her snout is Fiona.

        • Panika MCD

          DAW!

      • Suttree

        I shoulda scrolled down a little. :)

    • very cute

    • The Wanderer

      Cute kitties!

    • BadKitty904

      Awwwwwwwwwwwww!!1!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      So cuuuuuuute!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Oh, they’re sweet.

    • Three Finger Salute

      The first one makes me think you should do an “unboxing” video. If you’ve never seen these, it’s where someone literally takes a product out of its packaging and reviews it, tries to put it together, etc. In this case you’d put the cats in, say, the box for some tech product (like that Amazon Siri thing), talk about the tech product in a generic way, and then you open the box and it’s OMG WHO ORDERED BABY KITTEHS FROM AMAZON??? 🐱 🐈 😊

    • SadDemInTex

      Is sick kitty going to be ok?

      • He is! They both got to meet the vet today and he is being treated for a respiratory infection. The kitteh dose of antibiotics is already showing its effect as he’s up and about, drinking and eating and peeing and pooping…just like his adopted papa.

    • Suttree

      Awwweeee! They lurv each other so much! I want to hug them and rub them and name them George.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Oh, man, that made my day.

  • Ezio

    Slightly OT, but It’s pretty ironic that right wing white women like KAC and Megyn Kelly, who attack and decry feminists and left wingers, all of a sudden act like they were feminist all along when the alt right attacks them.

  • Panika MCD

    what infrastructure plan? the wall? I don’t see how that benefits me. I also too don’t see how cutting 22 million people off of their health insurance–many of them women–helps the other women who are still not covered. maybe K-Con is in the wrong line of work. maybe she needs her own morning show to ‘splain to be how giving the wealthy a tax cut will stop is from covering the healthcare for all those alien chimeras Alex Jones hallucinated and how even if no one shares that particularly poor excuse for an acid trip, I’ll have plenty of lady friends to keep me company in the ER waiting room and no one will complain about their taxes going up over the high cost of uncompensated care that results…oh, but she will just be talking into an empty toilet paper roll in her closet then because the trade war with Gina will leave us all with no TVs.

  • Reximus

    A producer for CNN’s “New Day” with Chris Cuomo made disparaging
    remarks about White House counselor Kellyanne Conway’s looks on
    undercover video released by Project Veritas on Friday. The video shows producer Jimmy Carr calling Conway an “awful woman” who “looks like she got with a shovel.”

    http://dailycaller.com/2017/06/30/producer-for-cnns-chris-cuomo-says-kellyanne-conway-looks-like-she-got-hit-with-a-shovel/

    • canes_pugnaces

      He should be promoted.

    • TJ Barke

      The notoriously crass comedian said something crass? NO WAI!

      • The Green Bastard

        Hehe. Wrong Jimmy Carr. He (the comedian) would probably have a hell of a lot worse to say. ;)

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Imagine if the president talked that way on a hot mic.

      • msanthropesmr

        He might not be president!

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        We’d be shocked at his restraint?

    • Joe Beese

      That footage was edited. What he actually said was that she wished she would get hit with a shovel.

    • BMW

      And there’s our “both sides do it” moment.

  • canes_pugnaces

    Some people in South Africa don’t have maps, that’s why Trump tweets, which aren’t important because they are official statements, and things like that and stuff. And women.

    – KA Conway

    • The Wanderer

      This episode of Non Sequitur Playhouse is brought to you by Bicycles! Bicycles don’t bathe!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        hehe!

    • II Gosala

      will no one think of the cucumbers!?

    • baconzgood

      She makes Rummy’s “known unknowns” speech look logical and succinct.

  • The Wanderer
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Yeah, no, her career is over after this. Hope she’s got a book deal in the works.

    • georgiaburning

      It will be free with the box of crayons

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        hah!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I’m betting every last one of them has a book deal

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Well, Denny’s is going to have a lot of new kid’s placemats, then, because who will want to revisit this fucking nightmare in book form? No thank you, please.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Unless the GOP is dead after this clusterfuck of a presidency, I think Con-A-Way will be just fine. Keep in mind before representing this asshole, she was representing Ted Cruz.*There’s no shortage of assholes to rep in Washington.

      *Remember when she was truthfully calling Trump a pathological liar and a con man?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I hate that, but you’re absolutely right. The worst she’ll get is a job as a lobbyist.

        • Suttree

          She was a pollster. And if Frank Fucking Luntz is being taken seriously these days……..

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            That’s okay, I didn’t need that lunch in my stomach anyway.

        • tomamitai

          If she hurries she could get a job repping the 128 year old man in Argentina who says he’s Hitler, although that would be a lateral move.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Making double what she’s making now. Gah…I hate that so much. Plus she has young daughters, and this is the world she wants to leave them? What the hell is wrong with her? Money is worthless if we’re all living in a dystopian hell hole.

  • II Gosala

    Am I bad for skipping the article and going straight to the comments because … KAC … open thread?

    • The Wanderer

      No, you’re not bad. You’re safeguarding your sanity points.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      What’s to read? The President is the real victim. People should [focus/not focus] on the President’s tweets. The [name of group] spends all its time [verb] the President instead of reporting on his [imaginary accomplishment].”

      • Suttree

        Worst Mad Lib ever.

      • II Gosala

        damn. That’s good. Have you considered a career commenting on Wonkette?

  • baconzgood

    Wow….this is how there going to do this?

    “If it weren’t for media talking about his tweets they would be talking about russia”

    “If it weren’t for the media talking about Russia they would be talking about his lies”

    “If it wasn’t for the media talking about his lies they would be talking about his blatant sexism”

    “If it weren’t for the media talking about his sexism they would be be talking about his mob ties”

    “If it weren’t for the media talking about his mob ties they would be talking about his failed businesses”

    “If it weren’t for the media talking about his failed businesses it they would be talking about his administration’s massive graft”

    “If it weren’t for the media talking about his massive graft they would talk about his tax plan”

    “If it weren’t for the media talking about his tax plan they would be talking about his tweets”

    It’s like a political perpetual motion machine.

    • Thorn Spike

      The head bone’s connected to the neck bone…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      “Why does the media keep insisting on noting how toxic this president is?”

      ~What almost fell out of ConAWay’s piehole full of lies.

    • Joe Beese

      It’s Mitch McConnells all the way down.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Well played

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      It’s like a blatantly corrupt and unqualified president just can’t catch a break these days.

    • BadKitty904

      And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

      • NellCote71

        Instead we get a horse’s ass.

  • Ezio
    • The Wanderer

      And the plague is caused by a bacterium, not a virus.

      • msanthropesmr

        You and your “facts”

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Details, shmetails!

      • BadKitty904

        I blame the Powers o’ Darkness.

      • Bananas Foster

        And is also alive and well in the US.

        https://www.cdc.gov/plague/maps/index.html

        • The Wanderer

          A few people manage to die of it every year.

          • Alex Grey

            Unfortunately, not enough of them die before elections…

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Neeeerrrrrrrrrd!

    • armed_bears

      Person in red gets 10 more up votes from me.

    • cmd resistor

      Hey, mosey on down to New Mexico where there have been some plague cases lately.

      • armed_bears

        Hanta virus, too also!

    • Alex Grey

      I wonder if their opinions would change, after being bitten by an animal with rabies…

  • msanthropesmr

    Beany sez:. Weekends are great. I get lots of snorgle time!

  • Bananas Foster

    It really chaps my ass that Conway consistently cries “Sexist!”

    If she actually cared about sexism, SHE WOULD NOT BE WORKING FOR THE CHEETOO WHISPERER!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I believe this would be qualified as an “own goal” – Kobach will not comply with Kobach’s demand for information.
    https://twitter.com/Sassy2305/status/880897510449008640

    • jesterpunk
    • mancityRed6

      as a Kansan, I gotta say, “so much fucking winning!”

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I don’t even know how to process so much of what this administration throws at us any more.

      • Suttree

        Just assume know that everything is a lie or a grift. Until proven otherwise.

    • GoutMachine

      Stop hitting yourself, Kris! Stop hitting yourself, Kris!

      • mancityRed6

        no, don’t

    • II Gosala

      Mississippi Secretary of State Dilbert Hosemann was less polite. “My reply would be: They can go jump in the Gulf of Mexico …”

  • Don Gwinn

    The toxicityyyyyy of our city….
    Of our ciiiiityyyy….
    YOU! WHAT, DO YOU OWN THD WORLD!?
    HOW DO YOU OWN DISORDER!?
    DISORDERRRRRRRRRR…….

    • msanthropesmr

      I don’t know the tune, but if you hum a few bars I can fake it.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      System of a Down. I know this because I Googled it to try to look smart.

  • Three Finger Salute

    So since this is open thread, some news from the “handmaidz need moar baybeez” front:

    The U.S. fertility rate just hit a historic low — and some demographers are freaking out

    The good news for the environment is that a lower U.S. population means fewer people with first-world consumption levels harming the planet. Fewer soccer moms? Fewer SUVs. Fewer kids to grow up and have kids of their own in SUVs as well.

    The bad news for the species, however, is that people delaying having kids until their thirties, forties and even afterward pretty much guarantees that the kid will be a brain-damaged vegetable or an autistic computer geek. Autism was pretty rare in 1900 when people were having kids at 14. But the pendulum has swung so far the other way with people having kids at 40-60 (Trump’s age when Barron was born), that it seems there’s a gluten-free soup in every pot, and a fidget spinner and Pokémon movie collection in every home.

    So overall, the long-term trend is looking like this: we’ll have fewer people, but they’ll either be so developmentally disabled as to be nonfunctional — or they’ll be Mark Zuckerberg, and either produce more Mark Zuckerbergs or the species will die out because they stay home watching Pokémon.

    We never find a pleasant middle ground. I guess nature has a way of self-correcting after all. Sucks for the kids though.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      The article says the highest birth rates are for women 25-34 so I’m not sure why the freakout.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      This is the second-place winner for stupidest argument of the day. (Kelly Anne is still in the lead.) Autism wasn’t pretty rare in 1900, it was quite literally undiagnosable. Because it wasn’t even described in the medical literature until later.

      https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2010/10/autisms-first-child/308227/&ved=0ahUKEwju6KjiwObUAhUF7GMKHX0hB6kQFgg5MAs&usg=AFQjCNFJ2X3n4faGrGU3zHZaXC9iKw2MFA

      • Shanzgood 7 Days

        Thank you. And also the assumption that people on the autism spectrum are either useless or some type of idiot savant is really insulting. It plays into the anti-vaxxer bullshit.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          This is flat out a very stupid argument.

          • Three Finger Salute

            People were making it in the comments. Hasn’t the rate gone up exponentially?

          • baconzgood

            True. Put also the understanding of a mental condition has been understood better. Soooo. Your arguing that because we realise more about manic depression there forever there is more of it? Pick up a DSM-V

          • Three Finger Salute

            Has it ever been definitively proven, though, that the rates of autism have increased simply due to expanded diagnostic criteria that lumps the most severe nonverbal kids in mental institutions with Daryl Hannah, and not because of an underlying biological issue in the population? Or is it destined to be a perpetual chicken and egg scenario?

            Say the higher rates were due to birth control methods leading to changes in hormonal balances or the endocrine system en masse among women in the first world. The solution wouldn’t be to ban birth control, but to figure out what it does to the underlying system that leads to autism, and can then be mitigated or reversed by something else. Doctors already try to dissuade women from having kids after 40 because of Down’s. I see no reason why they shouldn’t due to autism too. And if that means that they simply don’t have kids, hire a surrogate, or adopt or take in foster kids to start families in other ways so be it.

            I mean, someone else who said I shouldn’t reproduce, I’m actually not all that insulted by it. I already decided not to because I’m very much aware that manic depression exists. My family has a long history of mental illness that I inherited too and didn’t want to pass down. So while I’m contributing to this population decline that the demographers are concerned about because of the economy (a negative, at least in their view, which other people are saying could be mitigated if we weren’t so harsh on immigration but which is a politically unviable nonstarter — or just not viewed as a negative because capitalism is itself like a cancer that feeds off perpetual growth), I’m also contributing positively (by not contributing to the gene pool) to one less germline of manic depressives with an inborn tendency towards addiction disorders.

            I mean, this isn’t only my concern, obviously. Other studies have said it’s a thing.

            https://www.autismspeaks.org/science/science-news/study-ties-dad%E2%80%99s-age-risk-autism-other-mental-disorders-kids

            http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2015/06/10/413205921/more-evidence-that-parents-ages-could-influence-autism-risk

            http://www.cbsnews.com/news/parents-age-childs-autism-risk/

          • baconzgood

            Has there been any definitive proof that indoor plumbing DOESN’T cause diabetes.

            How can I prove conjecture or a negitive. You cant. That’s a negitive 10 points on a debate.

        • tomamitai

          Isn’t it also kind of trendy now for people to say they’re “on the spectrum”? As an old, I remember when being a “geek” or a “nerd” was not cool, now people who are literally Hollywood tens boast about it.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            My friends on the spectrum or with kids on the spectrum are not exactly thrilled with the idea.

        • baconzgood

          This man just proved his own point on how we should not reproduce. Thankfully I’m barren.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Absolutely. This argument is just….well….foolish in every way.

        • Three Finger Salute

          With all due respect I think the flipside of anti vaxerism (which I agree is dangerous and stupid) is this new trend that tomamitai mentioned, where now there’s people who think that autism is no big deal and either a normal variant of the human condition or even an advanced stage of evolution. Obama actually had a proponent of this theory in his cabinet. I certainly don’t want to bring back polio! But to say that autism isn’t a disorder is as undermining to the public health as Jenny McCarthy basically saying that it’s worse than polio. Yes, it is a disorder and yes it does need a cure.

          This movement unfairly “appropriates,” if you will, the language of the gay rights movement to equate applied behavior analysis and social skills training to gay-reparative “therapy”. They’re like the deaf people who don’t want their children to have hearing aids because they fear it’s an imposition on their “culture.” These self-appointed activists have a collective form of Munchausen by proxy where they want their kids to be sick to prove a political point.

          I know I went too far with the Pokemon comment, but it frustrates me that this has reached epidemic proportions due to various scenarios (like older age of parents) and nobody is doing a damn thing about it, because 1) our country doesn’t like to talk about mental illness except in the context of blaming it for mass shootings, and 2) well-meaning but cultish “advocates” are trying to undercut science’s quest to find a cure. They’ve since expanded the movement to include bipolar disorder and A.D.H.D. What’s going to happen to people who suffer tremendously from these diseases if they get written off as a mere “population trend” or “personality quirk”?

          • baconzgood

            “They’re like the deaf people who don’t want their children to have hearing aids because they fear it’s an imposition on their “culture.” ”

            Woah here and now. ‘Cause i know a great bit about this subject.
            Do you honestly think hearing impairment is genetic… or that only hearing impaired people have marry and have hearing impaired people? I dislike your view on how the world works. Not only are you logically flawed. But, you’re dangerously close to receiving Baconzgood’s patented* “DOUCHE BAG COCK PUNCH”. keep in mind. Some of us libtards don’t say “well just let him think the way he does and let’s move on not understanding that the world is round”.

            *patent pending.

    • Jenny

      And vaccines! Don’t forget the killer vaccines!

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        What about the wifi?

        • Jenny

          And the radio waves! All the things are making us Mark Zuckerbergs!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            CHEMTRAILS!!! GAH1!!!1!1!eleventy!!!

        • II Gosala

          And the cucumbers

          • baconzgood

            And canned clams.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            You monster.

    • Panika MCD

      ummm…there is no homo sapiens americans. there are over 7 billion people on the planet. I think the species is doing fine and fewer first world consumers only extends the survival of the species.

    • whitroth

      Most of your “bad” is bs. Most folks are waiting to thirties, and there’s nothing wrong with that – most of my kids were born at that age, and they’re perfectly great. It’s only the few egoists who wait until late forties or later.

      And no, they aren’t guaranteed to be alla that.

      And the good, not just the planet, fewer people means more jobs available, and more space, and hopefully, falling food and housing prices.

      Ke-id, I was in my teens, and the population of the US was barely more than half what it is now, and the world *just* hit 3G. I did some research, and my best guess is that maximum carrying/population of humans would be about 1G – about what it was two centuries ago.

    • baconzgood

      I noticed that hardly any people died of diabetes in the 12th century and they didn’t have indoor plumbing. Coincidence? I think not!

      No matter what the other commenters say our logic is infallible

      • Three Finger Salute

        LOL, I see what you did there. But diabetes is linked to obesity and that to increased sugar consumption (particularly the synthetic sugars in fast food and sodas which are as addictive as crack). So while it’s a good thing that the first world is no longer undernourished, the bad thing is that Americans are malnourished with an abundance of crappy food. Same with the population statistics Lower birth rates and increased education are not a bad thing at all. The question is how do you mitigate the negatives, like older age of parents leading to an increased rate in mental disorders in the next generation.

        Diabetes is also one of many factors in increased autism rates. (I’m guessing if you’re a 40 year old dad with diabetes, the risk is that much higher?) Which means this stuff is literally damaging people’s DNA. I don’t buy into the neural diversity argument, which strikes me as piggybacking off the legitimate struggles of the LGBT rights movement and as hazardous to the public health as anti-vaxers. What I want is to keep the good things about this statistic like higher education for women and improved conditions for the planet. But to mitigate the potential risks that ruin the lives of these poor kids.

        • baconzgood

          Don’t change the subject of my comment. The subject is your “reasoning”.

          • Three Finger Salute

            It’s not only mine though, there’s other people concerned about what this trend might entail. The statisticians are more concerned about the economy because they’re comparing it to Japan, China etc. But other people are concerned about impact on the kids who are born, but much later. And yes it does worry me. Like I said, I want to accentuate the positive, and mitigate the negative. We don’t want to go back to a time when “babies were having babies” ad nauseam, but we don’t want the pendulum to swing so far in the direction of 40 and 50 year olds having kids with serious problems.

            I don’t want to keep bringing up the Trump boy, but I feel really bad for him, not just that his dad is an internationally reckless asshole but that the kid has problems to boot. Then I notice the numbers that keep going up — what is it now, 1 of every 50 kids is autistic? That’s got to be connected to something. Father’s age has been confirmed as one factor. Trump was 60. So how do you mitigate that, while still keeping the positive circumstances like economic and educational advancement that have given both men and women the choice to delay starting families or not have them at all?

            Nobody died of an opioid overdose in the 11th century either because they didn’t have modern medicine. But we don’t want to throw out modern medicine and go back to bloodlettings to curb opioid overdose rates. We want to keep the good of modern advancements and mitigate the bad.

            That’s all I’m saying. Not trying to twist anyone’s words around. And I do apologize for the offhanded snark about the Pokemon cartoons. I just see this as a trend that, while overwhelmingly good, has some serious unforeseen consequences that need to be addressed.

    • bupkus231

      Phew – I thought that bit about the kids was in the WP piece. Your home-grown snark was just a little misleading….

  • baconzgood

    I used to have a dog that would run around in circles like that. It was a loyal and loving dog…but, by far, it was the dumbest pooch Baconz ever owned.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      “Henchmen – evil, obedient, bright. Pick any two.”

  • BadKitty904
  • Does anyone know how I get on the Trump Voter “Do not kill” list?
    https://media3.giphy.com/media/26ybwLsgJQMxjct3y/200w_s.gif

    • II Gosala

      there is no do not kill list, but being white helps, rich also too.

  • DainBramage

    It looks like my state, Washington, will also be thumbing its nose at Kris Kobach’s voter suppression scam. I was a little concerned as our SoS is an R.
    https://twitter.com/secstatewa/status/880826086694703104
    https://twitter.com/secstatewa/status/880828468010799104

    • Shanzgood 7 Days

      Good.

    • GoutMachine

      Meanwhile, companies are spending millions to become compliant with European GDPR laws around data privacy …

    • tomamitai

      Nor is Kobach’s own state, Kansas:

      By Associated Press
      June 30, 2017
      Wichita — Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach says his state will not be giving the federal voter fraud commission he leads the partial Social Security numbers that he has asked other states to provide from their voter rolls.

      • Shanzgood 7 Days

        Wait, he’s the Secretary of State here. How’s that happening?

        • mancityRed6

          “His office says his letter only asks for publicly available voter roll data.” not SS numbers.

          • Shanzgood 7 Days

            Hrmph.

          • mancityRed6

            a stumbling block is a stumbling block.
            at least it sets a bad tone for the rest of the states when his own won’t just hand over all the info.

          • Sophia

            Last 4 digits of your SS # plus a bunch of stuff that’s none of their business.

            In addition, in order for the Commission to fully analyze vulnerabilities and issues related to voter registration and voting, I am requesting that you provide to the Commission the publicly available voter roll data for Alabama, including, if publicly available under the laws of your state, the full first and last names of all registrants, middle names or initials if available, addresses, dates of birth, political party (if recorded in your state), last four digits of social security number if available, voter history (elections voted in) from 2006 onward, active/inactive
            status, cancelled status, information regarding any felony convictions, information regarding voter registration in another state, information regarding military status, and overseas citizen
            information.

            https://assets.documentcloud.org/documents/3881818/SOS-Letter.pdf

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          He’s the guy who got into hot water for illegally purging a ton of democrat voters from the rolls. Read about that on WAPO a few hours ago.

          • mancityRed6

            he bought land in Douglas County, and built a building on it. said it was for non human residence, but then they found out he could be living there. he lied and nothing happened. there was a big write up about it a year or more ago in the paper of the link.

          • Shanzgood 7 Days

            My son was one who got either purged or suspended. He’s back on now.

      • mancityRed6

        good dog almighty, I shudder to think of the morons who will make Kobach governor.

        • Shanzgood 7 Days

          We need a bigger-name Dem than Carl Brewer to run against him otherwise…

      • mancityRed6

        and thanks for the link to my old home town newspaper.
        hmm, looks like someone just posted on there.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Why even is voting history public info?

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      We tend to elect Republican SoS’s here, and they tend to be good people. I remember when Sam Reed told all the Republicans claiming that Obama stole an election to go fuck themselves right in the ear.

      • DainBramage

        Yeah, it seems like a weird tradition. Always makes me nervous as we all know how much damage a Republican SoS can cause.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          I think it gives us a sense of balance.

    • NotReallyHere

      Oh good! Last I’d heard she was still thinking about it, and said she wouldn’t decide until the Secretaries of State meeting next week. I’m extremely relieved!

  • jesterpunk

    Just because the ending is great and Kate McKinnon is amazing as KAC.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zjbc15X1zSM

  • baconzgood
    • Blackest Noobs

      a night after snake juice or a day after Trump’s tweets….it’s both….it’s the same thing!!!!

  • schmannity

    Ok. It’s Friday afternoon. Which Trump golf course and hotel will the Secret Service be paying to stay at this weekend?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I long for the simpler times, back when dictatorial tyrant Obama was destroying America from within, while playing golf, being feckless, and wearing mom jeans, twice a year.

      • President in Exile Firefly

        And putting his feet up on the desk while wearing a tan suit.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          My god, that man was a disgrace to the office.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          WITH HIS FANCY MUSLIM MUSTARD!

    • BadKitty904

      Which Trump golf course and hotel will We the Taxpayers be paying for the Secret Service to stay at this weekend?

      • schmannity

        Mama Trump needs some squint tightening surgery.

        • therblig

          i assume there’s just a screw in the back that gets turned a little every couple of months.

    • cmd resistor

      The one in New Jersey where he goes when Mar A Lago is closed. Bedford?

  • Just saw a Rachel Dratch tweet: Every time someone tells me that Trump acts like a toddler or baby, I think, I’ve never met a toddler that is this much of a dick.

  • BMW

    Is she really still hanging around the White House? Did someone forget to tell all the rats that their ship was sinking?

    • Panika MCD

      SHE’S SHREW!

  • jesterpunk
  • Riley Whodat Venable

    Call me a sexist if you wish, but it would be easier to listen to KaC’s nonsense if she had a better stylist.

  • Joe Beese

    An unpleasant reminder that Kellyanne Conway will earn $179,700 this year.

    Paid by you.

    • BadKitty904

      How does that compare with the salaries of other Propaganda Ministers?

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cba55e430866d5479222ed9561f5b263ab4557ef6b2baad90d20df53caa351c7.jpg

      • Joe Beese

        Goebbels worked for a lower base salary in exchange for gross points.

        • Bananas Foster

          Kellyanne wants nyet profits.

      • Shanzgood 7 Days

        .75 I’m guessing?

      • subatomic

        That picture is way too flattering. I think the ugly on the inside is making an escape attempt with KAC.

        • BadKitty904

          Agreed.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      That’s all? To perform the kinds of acts she does? She’s cheap.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Also, if you watch the video of her on Capital Hill (the one where she hugs Debbie Dingell to avoid answering a question from TMZ) she apparently rates a security team to escort her through the halls of the Capital Building.

      • Joe Beese

        In fairness, she should have one.

  • BJW

    I was perfectly happy for Kellyanne to NOT appear on TV. Can she do that some more, please?

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      I was just thinking the same thing. Of course, if we didn’t allow Trump’s people who lie about Trump on TV, we’d have NO news out of the WH. Wait, was I going somewhere with this thought?

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    KAC makes it really hard for me to remember the Commenting Rules for Radicals, that “when they go low, we go high,” and that it’s Dolt 45’s schtick to trash women for their appearances. Sigh.

    • ariel_gee_398

      The problem is they go so low that there’s a whole lot that we wouldn’t normally stoop to that is comparatively “high.”

      • bupkus231

        You relativist, you!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    It’s reptile brains all the way down.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Please, let’s not insult the reptiles. I don’t particularly care for them, but I’m sure they must do SOME good in the world.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Agreed. Komodo dragons are offended

      • therblig

        blig jr had a corn snake for 12 years. she was more personable than KaC, even when swallowing mice.

  • baconzgood
    • BadKitty904

      Brought to you by the Republican Congress and one of its owners, the NRA.

    • When I saw it was the Bronx-Lebanon Hospital my first thought was, “Shit, not another stupid right wing shooter.” But, now it sounds like another stupid, frustrated person going postal, just at a hospital this time.

      • Shanzgood 7 Days

        Hospital workers get attacked a lot.

        • I know. Working in a hospital can really be bad. Seems like this guy was a doctor who was fired from the hospital. Stupid was in reference to using a gun to solve his problems, guns are rarely the right solution to a problem.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Now, now. Miss Teen South Carolina was a complete and utter fuckwit long before Trump was elected.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    If Mika wasn’t so vile and ugly, the President wouldn’t have to point it out. Mika is the real misogynist.

    • Panika MCD

      if Mika was so vile and ugly, would anyone need to point it out? you’d think it’d be self-evident even if you are K-Con’s eyes drooping under the weight of too many falsies.

      • Bobathonic

        Eyes? Guess I had the wrong idea about falsies.

        • Panika MCD

          “falsies”=fake eyelashes

          fake boobs are still called “a boob job”.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            “a boob job”

            I thought that was WH press secretary

          • Panika MCD

            maybe if Spice Spice Baby got a boob job, then he’d keep his.

          • Bobathonic

            I learned falsies were little pads to “enhance the bust line”.

          • Panika MCD

            I’ve never needed to enhance my bust line so it’s possible, but the more common use is for false eyelashes.

          • Bobathonic

            Thanks, I learned something.

  • Ezio
    • BadKitty904

      Fools AND cowards.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Speaking of bleeding facelifts, why is KAC suddenly looking so “rested?” Botox and fillers, or an actual lift? I think she got a full on lift, because she looked old and haggard a few months ago, then she disappeared for a few weeks, only to reappear looking ten years younger. Not that I begrudge anyone plastic surgery, but I just thought it was kind of funny that the Orange ShitMuffin would be talking negatively about facelifts, right after this piece of work just had one.

    • BadKitty904

      Spackling.

      • Miles Monroe

        Bondo.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I’m more inclined to believe she climbed into the coffin for a bit of rejuvenation therapy.

      • II Gosala

        Upfist for Stargate reference. (It was a Stargate reference, right? )

        • Ryan Denniston

          I think it was Tales from the Crypt. Stargate works too.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          More of a Firefly or BSG fan, but yes it could have been Stargate. Although KAC does have the look of a Reever about her.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Or hung upside down in a cave for a while, to get the old blood circulating in her face.

      • Nockular cavity

        A bit of soil of the Old Country.

    • mancityRed6

      tranquilizers do work wonders, don’t they?

    • Creepoman

      Three quarts of fresh infant blood, direct transfusion. Or so I’ve read on the internet.

    • aureolaborealis

      Maybe he forgot which middle-aged woman he talked to who was bleeding from plastic surgery.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Good point!

  • President in Exile Firefly

    Miss Teen South Carolina will be Trump’s press secretary before very long.

    Even if she’s sadly no longer a ten.

  • Bill D. Burger

    “Not a pussy-grabbing misogynist___ You’re the pussy-grabbing misogynist.” _____ “Blood comin’ out your………wherever.”

    • Nockular cavity

      To quote Trump, “That must be a pretty sight, you on your knees.”

  • Sophia
  • Joe Beese

    Back then, Russia was funny.

    NOT SO FUNNY NOW, IS IT.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Zm6HzN5YVI

  • Ryan Denniston

    “There’s toxicity about this president.”

    Indeed. One suspects the spray tan contains many a now-legal chemical (THANKS PRUITT!).

    • BadKitty904

      Not just “about” him. In him, through him, etc.

  • Ezio

    As our nation’s birthday draws closer, I’d just like to say that there’s nothing more American than cooking meats named after places in Germany and lighting up objects that come from China.

    But don’t tell Trump supporters this.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      They’ll all be too busy pretending to love Murica for the day to notice

    • schmannity

      They’ll be down at the Berlin Alley.

  • Elvis Causticfellow

    “He lied about everything, and when he got in trouble…(he) always blamed others for his actions. (He) was also obsessed with being the center of attention.”

    Pop Quiz: The above is a description of:

    A) The President of the United States of America

    B) Charlie Manson at age 5, from Manson: The Life and Times of Charles Manson by Jeff Guinn

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      AOT,K

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Why not both?

  • Bananas Foster

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/sarah-huckabee-sanders-chicago-crime_us_59569eb1e4b05c37bb7e3a6c?ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

    Sarah Huckabee Sanders Suggests Chicago Has Crime Problems Because Of ‘Morality’

    Obviously, on top of everything else, Obama teleported Chicago to a coast…

    • Joe Beese

      She could have just said “all the blacks” but then you’d have jumped down her throat for that too.

      • pat tolle

        @oe Beese- She, and her Boss, are each so stoopid it’s a wonder they didn’t say that.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There aren’t enough lols in the world for the Trump White House to be commenting on morality

    • bupkus231

      Nah – Chicago is a city, so it must be bad….

      Stupid fuckin’ hillbilly needs to go back to Arkansas ( ‘cos this is obviously a “personal opinion” – considering where her boss is from…. )

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Watched a bit of Alaska State Troopers yesterday and the place they cited for highest crime rate was MatSu Valley (home of Wasilla). There’s plenty of crime out in the sticks.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Lots o’ meth in Wasilla. Lots o’ meth.

    • The Green Bastard

      She also told us all today that we got what we deserved cuz we knew the man had a temper when we married him (slight paraphrase), so she’s really swinging for the fences. She’s got the balls to say shit Spicer can’t even think to himself w/o getting a hurty tummy & the fear shits.

    • Suttree

      So is your family’s morality why your brother is a dog killer?

    • shivaskeeper

      Standard Christian answer. You wouldn’t have bad things happen if you were more ‘moral’. But only their brand of Real True Christian morality counts.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Here’s something Jan is fiddling with today. The university has us do things for them occasionally:

    https://youtu.be/hpDPMmX-nyM

    • jaspersdad

      Very cool. I’m familiar with CNC machines but have never seen one draw before.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Is that a Uni-ball Gel — the ultimate office pen?

      Yours is pretty neat.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        It’s a Uni-ball Signo.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          Yeah, they do say Signo on them. Mine didn’t come with a robot, though.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            The robot is about 15 grand if you wanna buy one. We lease ours.

    • BadKitty904

      Speaking of pens…

      Asian Student Holding a Pen Fatally Shot by Cops Night Before Graduation
      Deputies originally said he was holding a knife or “some sort of sharp object.”
      http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/tommy-le-police-killing-pen-graduation_us_59567959e4b0da2c73232689?z3l&ncid=inblnkushpmg00000009

      • shivaskeeper

        That one was… odd. There were multiple calls to 911 about him running at and attempting to assault people. Most of the calls mentioned he had something in his hand. Possibly a knife. Shouting “I am the creator” while lunging at random people in the dark wasn’t a great move either.

        I suspect drug use was involved.

        • BadKitty904

          I suspect the same, esp. given his minimal body-mass. However, I’m still not seeing where lethal force was required.

          • shivaskeeper

            I can’t second guess the cops on this one. At least not yet. Since it was somewhat local the 911 calls got some airplay a few days after it happened. The folks calling were scared and confused. He was lunging at random strangers with something. Quite a few of the calls mentioned they weren’t sure what was in his hand but it could have been a knife or razor.

            Tazers apparently didn’t work. A knife can be as deadly too. Right now, I don’t know that I wouldn’t have made the same call.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Joe Beese

      The answer is always Yes.

  • Panika MCD

    NPR just said:

    Ivanka took a roll/role in the White House…

    it’s like not even they can ignore the incest anymore.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      a role in the hay

      • Panika MCD

        roll the White House lately?

  • Villago Delenda Est

    The Commenting Rules for Radicals forstall me fully expressing my feelings about Kellyanne. Needless to say, they are not pretty. But then again, comedy is not pretty.

    • BadKitty904

      Nor, for that matter, is she.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        I don’t know, taking some time out to feast on the blood of virgins seems to have done wonders for her skin.

        • BadKitty904

          It looks almost life-like!

        • Sophia

          Maybe she made a trip to Mars and indulged in that rejuvenating provided by the blood and marrow of the child slaves

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Dear God, keep Wonkette Babby away from that thing!

      • Shanzgood 7 Days

        I kinda feel bad for her. She’s my age but she looks like she’s lived in a gulag in Siberia subsisting on grubs and wild tubers for the past 30 years.

        • BadKitty904

          After age 30, you get the face you’ve earned.

          • mancityRed6

            *sighs*

          • BadKitty904

            But on you, it looks good.

          • II Gosala
          • Royal Ugly Dude

            Eso si que es!

          • mancityRed6

            “you, yes, you in the back. put something up here so I can knock it off.”

          • Shanzgood 7 Days

            What? You have a good face!

          • I suddenly feel much worse about my life. Thanks.

          • BadKitty904

            Pish-tush. I’m sure you wear it with charm and grace.

          • Shanzgood 7 Days

            Say that again after you turn 30, dear!

          • BadKitty904

            I figure I already look like a red-headed monkey, so what have I got to lose? ‘Sides, *I* don’t have to look at it.

          • BadKitty904

            Well, except when my brother’s around.

        • Bananas Foster

          Trump and Kellyanne are decent arguments for the theory that evil is bad for the skin.

        • subatomic

          That kind of living sounds too nice for the likes of KAC. I don’t think she has earned such comfortable conditions.

        • shivaskeeper

          That was her choice. She sold herself our, she can live with the consequences.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Somebody said to Katie Tur a few minutes ago that most Republican senators don’t care what Trump says. That should turn his Twitter machine up to 11 when he hears about it.

    • Panika MCD

      to ELEVENTY and beyond!

  • Zonath

    “The idea that the media, large parts of the media anyway, are covering personal insults about the president, this invective, and really denying America’s women their rightful knowledge on what he’s doing for them on taxes, on health care —”

    Did KAC just go “no sexist, no sexist, you’re the sexist” to the American news media?

  • SadDemInTex

    The Bronx hospital shooting….workplace violence. Why do people crack like this and decide that their boss must die? I think of the lady who didn’t get tenure and murdered a bunch of people at a meeting. These people are not crazy. They have made a conscious vicious choice to harm others.

    • Zonath

      It’s because the Democrats are being so mean to Donald Trump with their words.

      • SadDemInTex

        I had to laugh at your comment but these terrible actions make me intensely sad. And because the shooter is black the usual suspects on social media will have a field day decrying the violent nature of black men.

        • eastcoastlib

          This single incident notwithstanding, most mass shooters are middle aged white men.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      entitled snowflakes with guns- what could go wrong?

    • shivaskeeper

      Why wouldn’t they? Guns are a huge part of American mythology. Guns are power. Guns are the equalizer to make everything right. Guns are the answer to all our problems.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        “God created man, but Samuel Colt made ’em equal.”

        • shivaskeeper

          Essentially. Everything from the Revolution, to the Civil War, to the old west, to the rest of the wars, to movie and TV heroes, it’s the guns that give them the power.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I think some of it stems from how identified we become with our jobs. For someone in a high-pressure position, they could see the lost of something valuable (whether it be tenure, or a promotion, or even the job itself) is the breaking point. At that point, they’ve lost what defines who they are, so why not take out their rage at the ones who “wronged” them?

      • Jamespuck

        I Always say my job is what I do, not who I am.

  • Lyly Sirivong
    • Ryan Denniston

      He’ll get the military parade he won’t get here. Maybe it will help relations with Europe. Until the next perceived insult pricks his thin skin. Again.

      • Claire

        He’ll just be bitterly jealous that Macron gets to supervise a huge military parade and he doesn’t.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Will he take another ride in a golf cart?

      • therblig

        golf cart, tumbrel, whatever

    • Ryan Denniston

      Trump: “Private Ryan is someone who is getting recognized more and more.”

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        He thinks Private Ryan is speaker of the house

    • BadKitty904

      How much would we have to pay France to keep him?

      • Lyly Sirivong

        No way. Unless you guys accept to import our very smelly cheeses.

        • BadKitty904

          I could live with that. I LOVE stinky cheeses.

          • Lyly Sirivong

            I think the worst cheese I’ve ever eaten was a corsican cheese. Not only did it stink, it burned my mouth.

            I do love blue cheeses, even though you’re basically eating mold.

          • BadKitty904

            OK< the Corsican cheese sounds like a bit of a challenge. But yes, bleu cheeses ROCK!

          • HazooToo

            I wonder if you could do the maggot cheese https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu

          • BadKitty904

            I have a bud from Sicily, Tao, who grew up with that stuff. I’ll pass.

          • Jamespuck

            Cannot eat my daily salad without some crumbled bleu on top.

        • The Green Bastard

          BRING ON THE CHEESE.

        • mancityRed6

          stop teasing.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          does that include cedar cheese?

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Sold. Smelly cheese would make a better president.

        • aureolaborealis

          DEAL!
          No take-backs.

    • jaspersdad

      France is sucking him in. Trump will show up to massive protest.

      That’s what I’m hoping for anyway.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Perhaps someone could show him the guillotine and how it was used?

      • Claire

        Or a life-sized functioning reproduction of the actual Bastille.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Where’s the guillotine?

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Did George ask her to tell us all about how Trump’s tax plan was going to help American women?

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      George asks questions? I thought he just sat there and nodded knowingly while Republicans babbled.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Then, after a stressful day of lying, Sewer Rat Conway went back to her office: “Call if you need me. I need a nap.”

    https://media.tenor.com/images/52278e62e6ee384302352c3a8c215742/tenor.gif

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • Now that’s funny.

    • Shanzgood 7 Days

      If she’s busy, I could fill in.

      • CindyinEncinitas

        Dude, takes me back…

    • Ωbjectifier

      Does that come in a mouthwash?

  • Joe Beese
    • jesterpunk

      Because they havent been getting away with doing that already?

      • shivaskeeper

        This one will ensure the IRS can’t enforce the policies in place already.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          FFRF has a that suit in the works and precedent. But yeah, Gorsuck will fuck it all up.

    • Ryan Denniston

      If you want to see your legislation die at the feet of the 9th, be my guest.

      • Joe Beese

        Gorsuch would spooge his robes for the chance to write that 5-4 opinion.

      • Nockular cavity

        And the 1st.

    • Then every mosque in the country should loudly and very publicly endorse every right wing candidate. That will scare and confuse the hell out of their voters.

    • shivaskeeper

      All on the assumption that they will be the permanent majority.

      • satanscheerleadersloveamerica

        They are doing a great job of achieving that. We have a lot of work to do.
        What happened to Republican fears of an “extinction event” before 11/8/2016?

        • shivaskeeper

          The problem it they are a majority of the Congress, but not the population as a whole. Shit like this will backfire on them right quick.

    • schmannity

      Can’t wait until the Satanists get on the Trump Train.

    • JustDon’tSayShank

      Go ahead, crack that window open a little. Next time non-god-botherers run the Congress, watch them ignore the endorsement part, and instead address the tax-free part. Your move, GOP.

  • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

    Dear George, please stop inviting Kellyanne Cuntway on your show.
    Dear Everybody else in the media, please stop talking to this “woman” who has sold her soul for a few pieces of silver.

    • jesterpunk

      Was it thirty shekels?

      • Pinkham’s Law

        21.6. Because, female.

        • jesterpunk

          Damn the bible says 30 but Kellyanne isnt even worth that.

    • Sophia

      I find the mute button solves the problem

    • TundraGrifter

      “Judas committed suicide when he looked at the thirty pieces of silver and couldn’t find any hallmarks.”

      ~ A Dandy in Aspic

  • BadKitty904

    Aight, time to start supper. Y’all try not to go hog-wild, ‘k?

    • Shanzgood 7 Days

      I’m on my porch and can smell the food from both the nearby Mexican restaurant and BBQ joint with the outdoor smoker. I’m dying.

      • BadKitty904

        OK, that would be ruff…

      • Erala Contratista

        We got a chocolate factory :-D

        • therblig

          we have street paving. mmmmm, asphalt!

        • Shanzgood 7 Days

          Damn. I’m sorry.

    • Jamespuck

      Already had my signature baked stuffed shrimp with mornay sauce and some summer veggie medley. Now its cognac time.

      • BadKitty904

        If I started in on brandy before 7PM, I’d prolly be asleep before 8PM…

  • janecita

    I don’t know about you guys, but I’m ready for a glass, or four, of Merlot. I’m going to pretend, that it’s 2015 and Obama is president.

    https://youtu.be/wa2nLEhUcZ0

    • Shanzgood 7 Days

      I will join you with some Chardonnay.

      • janecita

        How did the job interview go?

        • TundraGrifter

          Well, I hope! When you have a good interview or a good sales call, immediately push your luck and use all that positive energy to get another one going. Stand on it. If one gets bad news – and obviously I hope that doesn’t happen – a week or two dead in the water isn’t a good place to be. Press on!

        • Shanzgood 7 Days

          Ok, I hope. Interviewer said I asked good questions. I’ll find out next week if I make it to Round 2.

      • Jamespuck

        I’ll tip the snifter of cognac with yall

  • proudgrampa

    She really is fun to watch. Her ability to dissemble is unparalleled.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Obligatory Kellyanne post…
    https://media.makeameme.org/created/kac.jpg

  • Joe Beese

    Conservative television networks Newsmax and One America News as well as the British newspaper The Daily Mail now all have spots [in the White House briefing room], though One America News’ is shared with the BBC. Other changes enacted since the last time the seating chart was adjusted in 2015 include the Huffington Post and the Spanish-language television network Univision getting shared seats.

    http://www.politico.com/blogs/on-media/2017/06/30/conservative-outlets-gain-white-house-seats-240152

  • jesterpunk

    I did Nazi this coming

    http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/06/30/535024460/frances-marine-le-pen-target-of-fraud-investigation

    Marine Le Pen, the leader of France’s far-right National Front party, has been placed under formal investigation for allegedly misusing European Parliament funds for party work. Le Pen has denied any wrongdoing.

    According to The Guardian,”Under French law, being put under formal investigation means there is ‘serious or consistent evidence’ that points to probable involvement in a
    crime.”

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I hope the French laws have teeth. Not filled with hope and faith any more that we are going to be similarly situated.

      • TundraGrifter

        The Napoleonic Code is tough stuff. Not exactly “guilty until proven innocent” but not “innocent until proven guilty,” either. They are well on their way to a conviction when news gets out there is an investigation.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Good. This is good. More of this.

      • jesterpunk

        If only we could do this here with the orange clownstick playing golf this weekend.

    • Claire

      God, her whole party is so skeevy and awful.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Dan Rather rocks.

    https://youtu.be/hQKPTXT8tVM

    • OutOfOrbit

      Yesterday Rather said Dems won’t take either majority in ’18 and tRunp is viable for the 2020 race.

      • Jennifer R

        He is right though. The GOP only cares about stiggin it.

    • NotReallyHere

      “The word is hypocrisy.”

      Damn right, Mr. Rather!

  • Cogswell – in a mirror darkly

    Twitty Conway is a a pathological liar, just like his royal anus. I’m of the opinion that they are locked in a battle of one-upmanship.

  • Claire

    Shorter PA Governor Tom Wolfe: “LOL we see you creeping and trying to stop people from voting, Trump administration. Eat a bag of dicks.”

    https://twitter.com/GovernorTomWolf/status/880893706517315584

    • Joe Beese

      Were the dicks salted?

      • OutOfOrbit

        Does it matter?

      • Jennifer R

        Fresh from the medical landfill.

      • hendenburg2

        And if so, what kind of salt?

        • jesterpunk

          Salted with Trump tears.

    • NastyBossetti

      Hell yeah! That’s my governor!

      • HazooToo

        I am so fucking relieved right now.

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I get the impression that he may not be fully supportive of this initiative.

      • jesterpunk

        Even Korbach isnt supporting this initiative.

    • NellCote71

      This is clearly stated and well-written. Does Gov. Wolf realize that no one in the administration will understand a word of it?

      • OneYieldRegular

        Does Gov. Wolf realize that no one in the administration will understand read a word of it?

        FTFY

  • TundraGrifter

    Let’s clear up this “counter punch” nonsense. Mr. Trump made his political bones telling an obvious lie about Mr. Obama’s birthplace. Mr. Obama didn’t say a word about him first.

    • Michael R

      When he did he did it right

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8TwRmX6zs4

      • NastyBossetti

        I can feel the rage emanating from Donald Trump in that video from here.

        • therblig

          he doesn’t realize that just america was laughing at him before. now it’s the whole world.

          • NastyBossetti

            He should be very close to self-combustion at this point.

      • TundraGrifter

        There’s a theory that’s why Mr. Trump ran for President. He was roast like a pig on a spit.

  • Vincent Ricola

    I am so worried about South Korea right now. North Korea is empowered by the state of the world to do something really bad and instead of giving any kind of real statement of support to President Moon Jae-in, Donald Trump threw a hugely misogynistic public tantrum that ate up all the energy during his trip to the US. I mean, we’re fucked too, but at least America got to pick our own doom with votes. South Korea didn’t cast one ballot for the orange pricktator of destruction and they still have to worry about suffering the fallout of his incompetence. That really sucks.

    Happy Friday and yes I am too fun at parties.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Don’t worry, Trump is a counterpuncher. North Korea would have to do something first. Unless Trump flies off the hinges again.

      • Joe Beese
        • Ryan Denniston

          I wonder who the Trump Whisperer here is. I cannot imagine Trump himself actually caring, and none of the generals around him (I hope) think this is a good idea.

          • Joe Beese

            Bannon is stupid enough to think it might work and indifferent enough to human life not to care if it doesn’t.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Bingo

          • Jamespuck

            But doesn’t he know more than the Generals?

      • Jamespuck

        Problem with a counter puncher is if you get in the knockout punch in first there is NO counter punch, just count to ten and its done.

      • Vincent Ricola

        My fear is the thing that North Korea does first is blow up the innocent people of Seoul.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          Count on it. That first punch will be a doozy

        • HazooToo

          THAT is the only reason North Korea still exists in it’s usual fucked up form. They have hostages just outside their borders. And under every other President, they’ve been safe. Now? They may very well be fucked.

  • Michael R
    • biologydave

      Ma’am, would you like to check those eyebags?

      • Joe Beese

        There would be a weight penalty.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Hazardous fluids are not allowed by the TSA.

      • georgiaburning

        No worries, they’ve drooped to where you can push them under the seat

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Why do all the president’s spokeswomen have fucked up eyes

      • Jamespuck

        Cause they are empty inside, no soul, no heart, nomind. Nothing there!

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        All president’s? Barry’s didn’t. Oh, you meant THIS president. Got it.

      • grindstone

        Dunno, but all the best cowboys have Chinese eyes, so I’m told; it’s Friday evening and my ice cubes are dry. Barkeep!

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      This is why you should never let Picasso take your driver’s license photo

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        This is why you should never let Picasso do your facelifts.

      • Michael R

        Yes I see it … Guernica !

      • schmannity

        Nor Edvard Munch.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      aren’t all handjobs unenthusiastic?

      No? Oh, okay…

  • Ezio
    • Ryan Denniston

      So anti-free market, that private company and its actions.

    • BadKitty904

      Treating employees like people – what a concept!

      • TundraGrifter

        Somebody should co-op that concept.

    • Reddishrabbit

      I think cheap labor has been around for a while but it is starting to tighten and companies like Costco is a far better position to benefit than Wal-Mart’s. They play the long game.

      • jowgajen

        Let’s consider why Costco employees may be as productive as 2 WalMart employees:

        1. only have to work one job
        2. get enough sleep
        3. actually get to see, or even have, their family
        4. don’t lie awake at night worrying about the electricity getting cut off
        5. can afford a cellphone AND an internet connection
        6. can afford to pay for transportation, don’t have to spend hours on the bus or train.
        7. don’t lie awake at night worrying where they will sleep tomorrow night.
        8. don’t worry about being able to fund their child’s lunch account at school next week
        9. feel loyalty to their employer, coworkers, and customers, because they can SEE how their job is providing for them and their families
        10. feel pride in their job because above
        11. can actually buy things from where they work
        12. can afford to see a doctor/stay home from work when they are sick

        There’s plenty more, I’m sure.

      • whyieverdidit

        At least they’ll make Amazon pony up that much more when the time comes….

  • Reximus
    • The Green Bastard

      It’s a happy lil Bush painting.

    • TundraGrifter

      That was some weird shit.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      I call fake – those pics of Bill and Obama are way too realistic to be Dubs’ work.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Rasilom

      So sorry. Will not watch. I need to not break the living shit out of my TV/PS4/Roku box. Watching that eould lead.me to destroy all 3 and I can not.afford that.

      • Claire

        I’m still too pissed off and traumatized from reading the book. I might get around to the series if we ever get safely to the other side of this disaster.

    • Reximus

      Some of that show is shot in Cambridge west of Toronto…my buddy who lives there goes to the nearby cafe on shooting days and sits around with all the Handmaids sipping coffee between scenes, he sent me pics

  • TundraGrifter

    President Trump’s concept of “intrastructure” is a push-up bra.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Enough wire to set off metal detectors.

  • marxalot

    If only the crooked media would stop reporting on the things Dear Leader does and says, and instead began listening to the fevered whispers of the infestation of brain spiders KAC gets her policy information from! Then the women could really understand how much this predisent (sick!) is doing to on with for them!

    • Rasilom

      Uhh, cause brain spiders have the best info? I kinda thought brain spiders were hangers on from previous really bad LSD trips, just sayin…

  • TundraGrifter

    Grabbing one pussy at a time: “This is someone who’s trying to get those millions of women who lack health care coverage…”

    I don’t think that was supposed to get out, Kellyanne. I don’t doubt that it is true.

  • II Gosala

    Hey Dok, what the name for the cliche that makes the outer appearance reflect the inner character. — like Cinderella is pretty but the step sisters are ugly, the witch had warts — ?

    • The Wanderer

      I don’t think it’s “Their character is their fate.”

      • II Gosala

        But maybe “their character is their face.”

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      TV Tropes calls it Evil Makes You Ugly

      • HazooToo

        They certainly have something there. I mean, if you had spent your entire life chained up in a basement with no access to outside news, and the first thing you saw was a picture of Rick Santorum, would you really honestly think “dear God what is that thing” ?

      • II Gosala

        not what I was expecting, but it works. Great site BTW.

    • Panika MCD

      Freudian slipper.

    • David Chaillou

      Physiognomy?

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Schlafly?

    • doktorzoom

      Beats me. I won’t pretend to have a catalog of logical fallacies handy (I can look up Dinesh D’Souza tweets whenever I want, though…) The TV Tropes one works for me!

      • II Gosala

        Oh, sure, burst my bubble. And here I thought there was a necranomricon every rhetorician was issued when they underwent the rituals of Thoth.

  • Mavenmaven

    I suspect women know what Trump is trying to do to them.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Not all of them.

      • The Green Bastard

        Yeah, only 9s & 10s. No fat chicks.

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Sure, 9s and 10s now, but once they hit middle school he’s done with them!

  • Jamespuck

    OK its IQ test time. Palin or Conway who is the winner? In reality neither is a winner, wouldn’t fuck either one with Trumps small prick.

    • Bananas Foster

      I don’t actually think Conway is stupid.

      Evil, yes, but not stupid.

      It takes a certain amount of intelligence to warp reality the way she does. She’s certainly creative.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I also would have accepted: mendacious, unethical, immoral, dishonorable, untrustworthy, unscrupulous, unprincipled, amoral, perfidious, shameless, despicable, dissolute, exploitative, or deceitful. Half-credit for shady, crooked, or sleazy.

        Extra credit for “disloyal fool-ass bitch-made-punk.”

    • Claire

      Conway. Like Bananas Foster said, Conway is evil, not stupid.

  • Joe Beese
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    So it turns out it wasn’t a cold. It was the flu that knocked me flat on my back the last couple of days. I still feel weak (gonna skip tonight’s soccer match because I don’t even think I could walk to the stadium, let alone stand and cheer for 90 minutes), but the fever broke, I did come back into work today and I’m eating solid food again.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      For goodness sake, take care of yourself. The flu can be awful.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Though The Dukes of Hazzard is hilarious when running a fever of 102.

    • HazooToo

      Got no choice but to do the activity? Do it. But take it easy.

      Don’t have to do it but “it’s just the flu”? Get your ass back in bed.

      We love you.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        I am the worst when it comes to “Working through the cold”. I basically only call in sick if I physically cannot get out of bed, and even then I at least try. I think the worst was a few years back when I put in a 14-hour workday while fighting off the stomach flu (I had no one who could cover the work). Spent the next two days bedridden and lost my voice for week for that folly.

        • HazooToo

          You need someone to lock you inside your room and pass you soup and medicine through a cat door!

        • Claire

          From someone who used to get every single bug that made its way around the workplace and was flattened for two weeks by it: please don’t do that. PLEASE. I promise you that no one thinks you’re tough or is impressed by your work ethic. They just think you’re that guy who spread his cold to them and their kids because he was too proud to stay home.

        • Persistent Demme

          Then you need an extra-strength momming:
          Take care of yourself, dammit!
          Plenty of sleep, fluids, and fresh food!

          I call Mr. Demme “Atlas-man” when he is sick, should be in bed, and works anyway.
          Do you think that without you the sky will fall down?
          The earth will stop turning?
          No, it won’t Spotts!
          Now, GET SOME REST!
          (Sorry for all the shouting.)

    • TootsStansbury

      The flu sucks. It can literally kill you. It’s nothing to sneeze at.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      We have become a nation of assholes who don’t give a fuck about anybody but themselves and people exactly like them. Maybe we just need a really big fucking meteor strike and save the rest of the universe from us.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Our frontal lobes are too small.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

          Well, not all of us have heads shaped like Roger Stone’s.

          • The Wanderer

            Or Trey Gowdy’s.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Boy Howdy!!11

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            I suspect his mother squeezed at the wrong time.

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            When you consider that people like Roger Stone would have been bred out of the gene pool due to their lack of empathy, it is sad to know that modern science now helps them replicate their “persona”.

    • HazooToo
    • Persistent Demme

      This is really at the heart of the matter.
      No surprise that the Goopers, (and Trump supporters), in my extended family are the ones that don’t give a shit about anyone but themselves.

  • Portia McGonagal

    Guess what Kellyanne we wimminz can do more than one thing at a time. In fact we excel at multi-tasking what with the primary responsibility of child bringing upping, house working, WORKING WORKING, caring for our older relatives etc. etc. falling to guess who?

    So we can easily also be fully aware of the shit that comes out of the anus on Trump’s face and know what’s up with his attempts to steal from the majority and give to the minority of the minority of wealthy ‘murcans and otherwise screw us in the figurative sense (because in the literal sense, hellz no not ever).

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Multitasking is damn near impossible if you have less than or equal to one neuron. I can’t tell if KaC has 0 or 1. Definitely no synapses, that’s for certain.

      • Portia McGonagal

        The bridge is out!

      • Courser_Resistance

        Her sister got the family brain cell

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Is it possible that we’re ALL in a coma?

    “Reality is pitching a novel that no editor would buy.

    First, there’s this morning cable TV couple—who really are a couple, as it turns out. Then, there’s this big-time New York real estate guy who’s been around the celebrity long and loudly enough that they made jokes about him in the first season of Law and Order, but who had a second life as the host of a reality show in which he got to pretend to fire people. So this guy runs for president and the couple are some of the only people who take him seriously—who suck up to him, one might say, were one unkind. Through a fluke of the Electoral College, the guy gets elected.

    (At this point, the editor starts wondering how fast he can shuffle Reality toward the elevators.)

    The guy turns out to be pretty bad at the job and he starts behaving erratically in public. Alarmed, the TV couple begins sounding a warning that the new president may be three sandwiches short of a picnic. The president then tweets about the woman of the couple bleeding from her face at a New Year’s Eve party he’d hosted in Florida. The entire political establishment howls in outrage because this is both weird enough and trivial enough to become a Thing. The president responds by leaking that the couple had begged him to squash an unflattering story about them in the nation’s most famous supermarket tabloid, the one the president had cited in accusing the father of one of his rivals of being linked to the Kennedy assassination.

    The editor, by now, has thrown Reality out a window. Which, pretty much, is where we’re at right now in our politics. Reality has been thrown out the window.”

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a56069/morning-joe-trump-national-enquirer/

    • marxalot

      Charlie is a boon in a dark time.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I think most of the intelligent people in this country are just reduced to shaking their heads and saying “I must be on crazy pills.” We really are through the looking glass here.

    • nonono

      Get Don DeLillo to write it. (wait is he still alive?) or Charlie Huston. Then I’d read.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Wouldn’t that be great?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’d like to wake up and find out that it’s 1999 again. I’ve still got money, and a waist, and Bill Clinton is still president. Then Al Gore takes his rightful title of POTUS in 2000, we never have an Iraq war or an Afghanistan war, and Trump never decides to inflict his personality on the USA.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          No 911, no recession, no fracking, no deep water horizon, the Padres would win the World Series…oh wait…he’s just human. Gah! You siren!!

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’d settle for “no 911, and no recession.”* A girl can dream…

            *in my fever dream, president Al Gore doesn’t ignore the CIA’s warning that an Al Qaeda attack is imminent, and 911 never happens. My dad used to work in the World Trade Center when I was a kid, so that was a real punch right in my feelings when that atrocity happened.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Yeah, my dad is a firefighter so it rips my guts out to think that Al Gore would never have ignored the warnings.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Trump is really making me forget how incompetent Bush was, and how much I loathed him.

  • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

    Welp. Today was my last day of work…ever. Celebrating with my sweetie tonight.

    ¡No mas pantalones!

    • NellCote71

      Congratulations! You will love it. I do!

    • Painter of Goats

      Woo hoo! Congrats on your new found freedom.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Congrats Boppa! Be sure to start telling long winded stories to customer service reps about how your ceiling fan is making a weird noise, not all the time, just when it’s really hot out, but you had that one idea about how neurons work and want your subscription to Scientific American sent to your Florida address from October 17th through May 11th. Then call again and ask for “that nice Sarah lady.”
      Remember, you’ve got ALL the time now! Cheers!

      • II Gosala

        No, don’t do that. Being retired isn’t a license for being an Asshole

        • bookish

          Now you tell me.

          • Margodrodgers

            my classmate’s aunt gets $88 an hour on the internet.. she has been without work for 11 months. last month her paycheck was $14872 working at home for a few hours per week… ➤ go here to this➤ site
            http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs417GroupFox/Home/Wage….
            ✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤::::ax127.

          • Darlenegjones

            my buddy’s half-sister gets $75 an hour on the internet.. she’s been out of work for twelve months but last month her revenue was $15553 just working on the internet a couple of hours every day… ➤ go➤ to
            http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs404MarketWise/Home/Wage….
            ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲::::ac114..

        • Annmperry

          my buddy’s mother in law makes $78 an hour at home and she’s been out of a job for 2 months.. the previous month her income was $15731 just working on the internet four hours each day, ➤ go to➤ this link
          ➜➜➜http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs460TopPrint/Home/Wage….
          ✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹::::az190

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Excellent, but you left off – “get in the left hand lane on the highway, and drive at least twenty miles per hour under the speed limit, preferably during rush hour, with your right turn signal on for 50 miles.”

    • Persistent Demme

      Yay!!

    • II Gosala

      Molotov!

    • handyhippie65

      just remember to keep moving. if you retire to the lazy boy, soon it will be all you can do.

  • Asparago

    Oh I hadn’t seen Miss Teen USA in ages, such as!

  • Courser_Resistance

    Everyone is expecting a huge news drop tonight. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Good thing would let me enjoy the weekend; Bad thing will make blood shoot out of my eyes like a Gila Monster.

    • Joe Beese

      I’m nearing the bottom of this Evan Williams White on ice, so bring it on, motherfuckers.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Please wait until I’ve finished my Stats final!

      • Persistent Demme

        A friend in college used to call “statistics,” “sadistics.”
        (I’ll bet EVERYONE does!)

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Right now I hate statistics as much as I hate Donald Trump. I’m only pushing through because I need a C or better so my employer will reimburse me, otherwise I will have tortured myself, not learned anything, AND paid for it myself.

          • Persistent Demme

            He was an anthropology major, and he really disliked statistics also.
            Had to take it to graduate, and hated every minute.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            Yeah, I had to take it ages ago when I was an English major and I was lucky to pass. This time I thought it would go better because reasons. It’s for “professional development,” but it’s convinced me I need to find another position that doesn’t involve analysis.

        • suziq

          I saved Statistics until the last quarter because everyone hated it. I really liked it! (Sorry Astraea)

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            lol, it’s good that there are people who like it.

          • suziq

            We balance out a bit I guess. Never used it though!

          • Persistent Demme

            I had another friend in college who took to it, and loved it.
            He was really into baseball, and had a built-in love of stats.

      • Calculate the odds of a big news drop before your Stats final based on the frequency of big news drops on Friday evenings for the last 6 months. Show you work and define all variables you use. This question counts for 25% of your grade on the final. ;-)

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          Approximately as high as a hippie at Woodstock.

          • And I wish you good luck as well. I still remember having to learn most of my stats from on my own while working for my doctorate. It is difficult, but makes sense in its own way.

          • Resistance Fighter Astraea

            I feel like there are a lot of different names and symbols and theorems for basically the same damn concepts.

          • Totally agree. It seems to me that all of statistics consists of asking what is the best way to represent a set in a small way we can understand, and if we have two smaller sets could they both be drawn from a larger set by chance or not. And all the rest is just different mathematicians trying to create a better way to answer those questions depending on the particular set(s) we are talking about.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Break a leg.

        • Resistance Fighter Astraea

          I would rather.

          Seriously though thank you :)

      • aureolaborealis

        Obligatory Friday afternoon Bayesian stats joke:

        “Show me your prior, and I’ll show you my posterior!”

        Feel free to use this on your final somewhere. Should be worth a few extra credit points.

    • HazooToo

      Don’t look for it. Chances it’ll be good are slim. Spend the night playing games or watching old movies.

      • Ricky Gay

        Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.

    • Bananas Foster

      Fuck. I decided not to buy the vodka on the way home…

    • MarsNeedsWomen

      This would probably be a good time for a…a bowel movement.

    • DirtyHippyLiberal

      Gila monster don’t actually shoot blood from the eyes, however, they do have a venomous bite and they tend to not let go for a while. Do not recommend.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Or a common Mika.

  • Panika MCD

    YAY! TX SOS Rolando Pablos has joined the crowd saying Kobach can eat a bag of dicks! (I think this is mostly because ED of the Elections Division, Keith Ingram, probably had a giggle fit before saying, “HELL. NO.”)

    • Ryan Denniston

      Rolando Pablos? You know he’s biased right? Trump’s trying to build a wall.

      • Panika MCD

        someone forgot to tell TX Senate Nominations…our Commissioner of Higher Education is also too Latino…think Raymund Paredes may be biased about Dreamers?

  • Joe Beese
    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Are they sending him into space?

    • jesterpunk

      Should we tell Alex Jones about this?

    • Ryan Denniston

      I hear there is a colony of children on Mars right now…

    • Vincent Ricola

      I can’t do 7:47 minutes of hearing him talk, so I’ll just assume it didn’t make a whole lot of sense and somehow offended a large group of Americans.

      • Sophia

        I understand. I just wait for the reviews from the non-commenters myself

    • Is this about the slave children on Mars story from Alex Jones?

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        That was my thought reading the shitgibbon’s tweet.

    • II Gosala

      Japan’s going to the Moon

      Japan reveals plans to put a man on moon by 2030
      https://phys.org/news/2017-06-japan-reveals-moon.html

      America’s going to the dogs (sorry, dogs)

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Gonna be hard to do since you slashed their education office’s budget by over 60%

      • II Gosala

        REAL Americans can pay for their own education, and their own rockets. Not like those loser NASA astronauts who live of the government dole. Sad. Weak.

    • TootsStansbury

      Not that i really want to know, but how do the flat earth people deal with the concept of space and the other planets?

      • II Gosala

        badly

      • Vincent Ricola

        They think we are enclosed by a dome in which someone is beaming the sky and planets from an evil volcano lair somewhere (I think?). There’s also something about a new world order guarding aliens in Antarctica, but I stopped reading at that point so who knows?

      • doktorzoom

        Space travel is fake, the moon and planets are lights on the celestial dome.

        I’m not sure where they think the rockets go (the ocean, probably), or why they think government and corporations would waste the money to pretend to “launch” them. Perhaps they just write it off as part of the cost of fooling us sheeple into believing the round earth myth.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’m VERY disappointed in you, Colonel Aldrin.

      • biologydave

        No shit. I mean, WTF Buzz?

        • doktorzoom

          He’s an astronaut and a test pilot. He goes where he’s ordered, whatever he might think of the commander in chief. Plus, I know he’s big on science education, including action on global warning / against science denial, so maybe he had some small hope of using his influence to get Trump to see sense?

          • biologydave

            I agree with you, Dok, but it’s kinda like seeing Carl Sagan or Stephen Hawking on the same dais. The whole image and concept seems mutually exclusive, but I do try and keep some hope alive.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          He’s making absolutely no effort to smack Shitgibbon with a lunar regolith sampling scoop full of votes.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Buzz Aldrin hasn’t had a clue what’s been going on since the late 90s.

  • JParkerSD46

    Ah, but there is, too, in fact and fer sher a “tax plan”. It’s called the Fuck the Poor So the Rich Get Richer Act of 2017. Paul Ryan just pulled it out of Mitch McConnell’s ass. It’s going to be the best tax plan, it’s working along very well, with many surprises that virtually everyone agrees is going to be an amazing, stupendous, fantastic, superdee-duper tribute to our country. Believe me.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    I love that the National Enquirer distances itself from Trump in the end. “Hey, we hardly knew the guy!”

    From Gabriel Sherman:
    “In mid-April, Scarborough texted with Trump son-in-law Jared Kushner about the pending Enquirer story. Kushner told Scarborough that he would need to personally apologize to Trump in exchange for getting Enquirer owner David Pecker to stop the story. (A spokesperson for Kushner declined to comment). Scarborough says he refused, and the Enquirer published the story in print on June 5, headlined “Morning Joe Sleazy Cheating Scandal!”

    The Morning Joe co-hosts decided to talk about the episode a day after Trump inaccurately tweeted that Brzezinski attended a New Year’s Eve party at Mar-a-Lago “bleeding badly from a face-lift.” (A photo from that evening backs up Scarborough and Brzezinski’s denial of this.) While the Enquirer denies that Trump encouraged Pecker to investigate the MSNBC hosts, Trump himself has pushed the story publicly. Last August, he tweeted, “Some day, when things calm down, I’ll tell the real story of @JoeNBC and his very insecure long-time girlfriend, @morningmika. Two clowns!”

    In a statement, Enquirer editor Dylan Howard said: “We have no knowledge of any discussions between the White House and Joe and Mika about our story, and absolutely no involvement in those discussions.”

    Note: Gabriel Sherman is an NBC News/MSNBC contributor.”

    • Wait, isn’t that how Trump distances himself from people that he is throwing under the bus? I hardly know him, he didn’t work for me for long, he didn’t have any real input, etc. Seems like assholes sound the same wherever their words are coming from.

    • TundraGrifter

      This was common in the 19th Century. Particularly in NYC. Scandal sheets would get some hot news and tell famous people they would have to pay (often by purchasing an ad) to keep the paper from publishing the dirt.

      One in particular added a nice touch. The good Colonel, after being paid, would run an effusive article praising the victim to the skies. Making it clear to one and all that another rich sucker had dodged a bullet.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I feel like we’re headed back to the 1800s, and that includes having another Civil War.

        • TundraGrifter

          I wrote that right after Mr. Trump was elected. Time to read “The Gilded Age.” Robber barons, trusts, etc. We won’t have a Civil War. Happily.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I like your optimism. Why do you think we WON’T have a Civil War?

          • TundraGrifter

            I do think it would be a good idea to stop talking about it. However, the far right wingers who rant about how many guns they have would need a second Rascal to carry their blood pressure meds. Most of those olds wouldn’t last a few days in the woods. Look at the mess they made of the takeover of the Federal bird sanctuary.

            There’s a larger issue, as well. Really – what is there to fight about?

    • NellCote71

      Did you read the Enquirer article. Talk about weak sauce on a nothingburger.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Is it all about how Joe and Mika are doing sex boning to each other? Wow! What a shocking scandal.

        • NellCote71

          Yes. Joe has even been spotted in Mika’s neighborhood. And a grocer in that very same neighborhood says that Joe regularly shops at his store. So, right there is the smoking gun.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Ha ha…I think our beloved Wonkette was all over Mika and Joe sexing each other a year or two ago. Of course, Wonkette is a known fake news site.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      You realize that as long as dime store Mussolini is in power we are all hostages, and that he will alternate between Dr Doom Bannon and his assistant Dead Eyed Baby Goebbels Miller, and Prince Jared the Clueless.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        This is the weirdest time period I have ever lived through.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      Amazing that Kush had time to get into the middle of this, what his being the Secretary of Fucking Everything.

      • II Gosala

        Secretary? Pfft! Bet he doesn’t even know shorthand.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I laughed when I read that part. According to people who knew him when he was younger, he’s not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I love that all of these idiots bumbled their way into the White House, and now have NO clue what to do. Jesus, it’s like they’re from another planet or something. “Wait, you mean if we lie about the Inaugural crowds, someone might notice? I hope they don’t catch on to what we’re doing with healthcare!”

    • mailman27

      This is the POTMFUS!!!!!! Are you kidding me??

  • Say what you will, Miss South Carolina still made more sense than most of Trump’s speeches that aren’t being read off of a teleprompter.

    • TundraGrifter

      The First Lady watched him read one of those snoozefests and was heard to comment “I wish he was that wooden last night.”

      • aureolaborealis

        I’m guessing she spends way more time flushing his little blue pills than pining for his sour little peen.

        • TundraGrifter

          The worst fifteen seconds of the month.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Plus, as far as we know, she’s not a vindictive asshole, just kind of a ditz.

  • Ricky Gay

    “…trying to get those millions of women who lack health care coverage,(…)It just doesn’t get covered.” — Exactly!

  • TootsStansbury

    I work and the taxes I pay go to pay people who lie to me. They want to steal from me, deprive me of my rights, destroy my environment and kill me once I can no longer produce profit and spoils through my labor. What the fuck am I doing?

    • NotReallyHere
      • TootsStansbury

        I will drop out, raise my own food and collect all the kittens.

        • NotReallyHere

          Oh dear. You can collect all the kittens without dropping out. Really! There are all kinds of kittens you can get for absolutely free, except for all the food, and cat trees/beds/scratching posts, and then there’s the vet visits, and vaccines, and flea treatment. Really, you shouldn’t drop out if you’re going to collect all the kittens!

    • OutOfOrbit

      Just waking up from the American [dream]?

      • jesterpunk

        “The reason they call it the American Dream is because you have to be asleep to believe it.”

        George Carlin.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Sharpening your pitchfork?

    • TJ Barke
    • II Gosala

      What we’ve done for 5000 years and somehow we think anything will change.

    • Doug Langley

      You’re making a big splat on the ground.

      Or did you want something inspiring?

      • II Gosala

        That any random peon matters is one of the lies of the enlightenment.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So, I just found out that Anna Faris and Chris Pratt are married, and have a child. What rock have I been living under that I don’t know my celebrity gossip? I bet their kid is super cute.

    • suziq

      Little boy with glasses-he is very cute!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        Dawww…I can’t resist a little kid with glasses.

        • mailman27

          When I was a little boy with glasses all the little girls found me totally resistible .

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Lulz!

    • mancityRed6

      thanks. kill two fantasies with one post.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        You’re welcome!!!!!

  • Sophia
    • Ryan Denniston

      IVANKA

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Ivanka’s not here, man.

    • jesterpunk

      She is trying really hard.

      http://www.cnn.com/2017/06/29/politics/melania-trump-stands-by-presidents-tweets/index.html

      “As the First Lady has stated publicly in the past, when her husband
      gets attacked, he will punch back 10 times harder,” the first lady’s
      communications director Stephanie Grisham said in a statement to CNN
      when asked about the tweets.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Well, I honestly think if she tried exerting herself, her face would crack.

        • jesterpunk

          Wait she had plastic surgery too? Trump said he doesnt like women who had plastic surgery, well except for Grifter Barbie.

          https://peopledotcom.files.wordpress.com/2017/04/ivanka-trump.jpg?w=2000

          • Yr. Gma

            He doesn’t like women who have plastic surgery and THEN BLEED ALL OVER HIM. There’s a difference.

        • UncleTravelingMatt

          SEXISMS! You can’t say things about her appearance!

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Okay *puts $10 in the kangaroo court fund*

      • Sophia

        Yea, I know.

      • mancityRed6

        come on, Mellon, blink twice if you’re in danger
        “the botulism shots won’t let me blink.”

    • HazooToo

      But her husband is just a victim, obviously! It’s everyone else that is bullying HIM online, and we should all feel very bad about all of the terrible things we have said about the anus-mouthed shitgibbon.

      • jesterpunk

        Can you believe there is some asshole questioning if the President was even born in the US on twitter and in interviews?

        • HazooToo

          Why, I’ve never heard such malignant nonsense! Except for every day over the last 8 years or so, of course…

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      It’s “grabass69”.

    • DainBramage

      It’s hard to see much when your eyes have been tightened down to narrow slits.

      • Yr. Gma

        To be fair, I think she had those small eyes even before the surgeries. It’s just her normal face.

    • try BigHandsreallyBigHands

  • Swampay

    “This is someone who’s trying to get those millions of women who lack health care coverage”

    Do go on. He’s trying to get them what? or how?

    Do you mean that he’s trying to get health coverage for millions of women who lack it? Funny how the numbers always show health coverage going down and costs going up, especially for women. Seems to me that’s getting covered pretty well. You’re not even bothering to make up “facts” (lies) other than to say “Is too is too is too”.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Con-A-Way’s just phoning it in at this point.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Is Spicey a gonner? History?

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          He seems to have been replaced with Sarah Fuckabee Sanders. Maybe Trump is keeping him around as the White House pet?

    • Ricky Gay

      I really don’t know why they even bother. His supporters already believe everything they say and they don’t watch these other fake news channels. Sad.

      • mancityRed6

        you and me both, baby, you and me both.

    • not_vh

      to get: as in ‘you got me’/stump

    • Invisible Bunyip

      Suggested punctuation: “Someone who’s trying to ‘get’ those millions of women who lack health care coverage”

      “You lack health care? Haha, gotcha! Poor? Gotcha again!”

  • HazooToo
    • not_vh

      i looooove that show.

  • Odd Jørgensen

    why won`t you fake media folk talk about all the terrific things our great and awesome leader says he will do, even when it`s things he says is mean but not really, because come on, fake media! Instead you just talk about all the terrible things he says, twats and do, give the man a break, he`s so young and new at this, it`s no fair!

  • marxalot

    It’s my birthday weekend! I am celebrating by dressing up for the local Rocky (it’s literally at the theatre across the street) and I dunno, maybe doing a roller coaster or two. Also comforting the dog, for whom the next 5 days will be torment. Anyone having fun or are we too depressed to move?

    • handyhippie65

      happy fricken cake day! hope you have more fun than your pup.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      or, right. i fergetted it were 4th of the jule-eye.

    • Odd Jørgensen

      Mine is tomorrow, there will be those cakes we like, BBQ and booze.

      • Bec Jenn

        I guess there are a few of us this week. Sorry forgot to add feliz cumpleaños!

    • mancityRed6

      just a tip, melatonin works on some dogs. google for the dosage by weight.
      and, my mind went to Rocky Balboa first. mainly because I can’t remember a local theater that played RHPS since I was a kid.

      • marxalot

        This troupe is in their 16th year of existence, which is flabberghast territory for anyone who’s ever been in or near a RHPS crew.

        • mancityRed6

          the town I grew up in (less than 10K people) used to show it all the time. I asked my dad once why they had signs up for toast.

    • Doug Langley
    • Bec Jenn

      Happy Birthday! What day is yours? Mine is coming up on Wednesday.

      • marxalot

        Tuesday! I get explosions.

  • handyhippie65

    why is it again we tolerate this “person”to exist? she does nothing but lie. i’m not one to hit a female, but her face gives me the punchy fits almost as bad as paul ryan does.

    • mancityRed6

      someday in the not to distant future, she will make a mistake and that clip will be played at the trials.

      • OutOfOrbit

        “–will make…”?
        Hawking for Vanka Inc. was not a mistake?

        • mancityRed6

          once, it could be. you need a case that’s fool proof.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Impossible. A fool can fuck up an anvil with a rubber ball.

          • mancityRed6

            if they try to bring the hammer down with a flimsy case and someone (not just the Kellyanne) gets off, it will hurt all the other cases.

          • Can you imagine being a prosecutor trying to cross examine her? Holy shit.

    • HazooToo

      Not up to us whether it exists, but that doesn’t mean we have to acknowledge it in any way.

  • Ryan Denniston

    And there folks, was Energy Week.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      SSDD

    • mancityRed6

      “low energy, low energy. sad.”

    • MarsNeedsWomen

      Not as good as infrastructure week, but then again sequels never are as good as the original.

    • Miles Monroe

      You know, that whole business is controlled by the joules …

      • mancityRed6

        that is shocking

    • jesterpunk

      What is next week? “Women’s outreach week”?

    • C4TWOMAN

      I feel so, so.. energized. At least my eyes do. they’re rolling like mad…

    • Cock Blockula

      Watts that, you say?

  • Count Awesome

    Saying “there is a plan for tax reform and a plan for healtchare” is to their entire plan.

    • jesterpunk

      But they have only had 8 years to come up with a plan, you cant expect them to come up with anything in that short of a time.

  • jesterpunk
  • doktorzoom
    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Laura Bush is gonna be pissed.

      • mancityRed6

        why, is the liquor cabinet empty?

        • Yr. Gma

          That was Betty Ford.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Laura had a touch of the tipsy back in the day. It did not work out well.

      • Yr. Gma

        What did I miss?

      • I thought she was pissed most days by this time.

    • MarsNeedsWomen

      Yeah I have a feeling this ban is gonna get slapped down again until October. I already hear the ACLU and the fake state of Hawaii already preparing to challenge it in court.

    • Me not sure

      Run! The Muslim robots are coming!

      • Steve Cole

        Stealing this. BRB.

    • Doug Langley

      Skynet is winning.

    • C4TWOMAN

      That’s going to be one pissed robot.

    • HazooToo

      Gosh! Thanks, Trump! I feel SO MUCH SAFER now that a bunch of TEENAGE GIRLS won’t be coming to show off an AWESOME ROBOT. You enormous fucking dipshit.

      • DrBigHead

        I don’t know. I am the father of a teenage girl. When they are together in a pack they scare the hell out of me.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I remember that. That was part of the fun of being a teenage girl.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      I heard that on the Twitters this mornin’.

      Trump saved us all from Afghan killer robots!

      • C4TWOMAN

        Well, what of they travelled back in time and screwed with his Russian hacker pals? He can’t be too careful!

    • Ryan Denniston

      So… we get to keep the robot?

    • Rick Hill

      I really think they have a team that scours the news and events so they can find the absolute worst action to take

    • DrBigHead

      I’m sure there are more than a few career folk who have to struggle to come to work every morning.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Stephen Miller?

    • shivaskeeper

      That is the shitty part about being a cog in the machine. If you are not writing the policies, you have to enforce them whether you want to or not.

  • Moebym Reborn

    Found on Refutations to Anti-Vaccine Memes on Facebook:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/d810d1a5bf647d3bd1fd02e664a1d9a9c06a42bea6ded175247ede91e65d6167.jpg

    What’s that expression kids nowadays use…oh, I know: I CAN’T EVEN WITH THIS SHIT

    • C4TWOMAN

      And actually it’s ALL adult’s responsibility to protect children…as the situation comes up, of course.

      But maybe [redacted] would like to go live in a Libertarian paradise like the barrios of Calcutta or Shanghai….see how long they last…

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      If only they felt that way about other people’s zygotes too.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      This person clearly doesn’t understand how communicable diseases work.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    Several of my colleagues got to attend a medal presentation in Paris today and shake hands with Macron. I never go to these things because there’s no way I can stand 2 hours in a cobblestoned courtyard.

    Opinions about him vary wildly from “he’s very charismatic, warm and a pretty tall guy” to “He’s a short arse who wears too much foundation and he’s cold as ice”. Heh.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/175bcb8369a94337c50d292490b9ab3a7f94e8f931c40616bbc6c5360b938699.jpg

    • mancityRed6

      I think I speak for everyone here…we’ll trade you.

      • Lyly Sirivong

        Err… no thanks.

        • C4TWOMAN

          You’re so selfish.

          • Lyly Sirivong

            I know. It’s a jungle out there.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Oh yeah…though I might hold out for Trudeau….

        • DrBigHead

          Sometimes your preferred pick is off the board. Good to have a legitimate second choice.

          Sorry for the sports metaphor.

      • Doug Langley

        Wouldn’t they consider that an act of war? I would.

        • mancityRed6

          we’ll put him in a crate and call it the mystery box.
          no one can resist the call of the mystery box.

          • Doug Langley

            I pity the Cassandra screaming “DON’T OPEN THE BOX!!!”

      • Angela Ruzzo

        For half a second I thought you wrote “we’ll trade places with you” and I thought YES! YES! I want to be in Paris RIGHT NOW! Scotty, beam me there, please! But then I re-read your comment.

        • mancityRed6

          they drink their coffee from bowls.
          bowls.
          not really a problem, but on the weekends I like to whiskey it up and it needs something to stay a bit warmer.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I’m fine with bowls. They do that in Italy too. They also eat pizza with a knife and fork. I don’t care, I can live with that, I just want to be somewhere civilized, if only for a few days, preferably over the Independence Day holiday so I don’t have to hear rednecks shooting off fireworks for 6 hours every single night for the next week.

          • mancityRed6

            I hear ya.
            their still talking rain for monday and tuesday. either it gets rained out or at least nothing catches on fire.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            50% chance of rain here on The Day. But it has to be raining at exactly 8:30 pm and keep raining until 4 am to have any real impact. One nice thing about being retired is that now I can just put in ear plugs, whereas when I was working, if I did that I would sleep through the alarm clock and be late for work on the 5th.

  • Doug Langley

    Okay. Determined to find out once and for all about this job the guy phoned me about Monday. Tracked down what recruiting agency he works for. Calls main desk and ask if he’s available. “No, he’ll be back after fourth of July. Let me see if I can find another recruiter.” Fuss, fuss, finally talk to someone. They hunt around, then figure out what job he was talking about. It was the SAME GODDAMN OPENING that I had been submitted to THREE MONTHS AGO. Turns out that in the past week they finally gave up and actually hired someone. I got the obligatory “Well, if something comes in, we’ll be sure to contact you, have a nice weekend.”

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Damn. Way to persist though! Keep shakin’ the tree until something falls out!

      • Doug Langley

        I’ve lost my will to live, does that count?

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          It might be at the bottom of the next beer. Keep checking.
          Seriously though, if I’ve learned anything it’s that the whole “career” thing really does come down to who you know or voracious tenacity. You’re chin deep in tenacity, so you’re gonna be ok.

          • Doug Langley

            The weird thing is, with all the contracts and short term jobs I’ve had, I’ve put a lot of time into looking for work and developed job hunting skills. Weird because today none of those skills are paying off. The rules have completely changed, and I honestly don’t have a clue what to do next.

          • Start leaning on friends, family and acquaintances. Apply for everything. Figure out the “key words” (generally listed in the job post itself) and make sure you have those peppered throughout your resume.
            Drink heavily, or not at all, or just a little, depending upon your personal level

          • Doug Langley

            Already done all that. Believe me, I’m really smart enough to figure it all out.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Is there any possibility of “Temp” jobs in your field? Whenever I was unemployed I would do Temp work and it always led to a permanent job offer. But that was 30 years ago, so I don’t know if it still works that way.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Do you ever feel like life is trolling you?

      • Doug Langley

        All the time, C4twoman, all the time.

    • suziq

      Call the guy back next week after the 4th. It is possible it was not the same job right? Those people don’t know for sure what was in his head. Other option, make him feel like A Idiot for jerking you around and maybe he will try to find you another position?

      • Doug Langley

        No, that was the job. He gave enough clues to identify. In fact, before I called, I was wondering if it was that one, and was right.

        • suziq

          Sounds like he is not very smart. Would they have other jobs though? Wouldn’t hurt to call back and try to make him feel bad so he finds something else for you. Try to relax and forget about it for a few days, if you can.

          • Doug Langley

            No, the recruiter isn’t the problem. The problem is the dip-shit client. They’ve posted this position for months, and gone to lots of recruiters. So each recruiter thinks they’re the only one working on it and get surprised when find out everyone else has take a whack at it. Extremely unprofessional.

          • suziq

            Hmmm, sounds like a place that you really wouldn’t want to work at anyway. Not that you can be picky when you need a job, but sounds like a screwed up place. And so the person they hired probably won’t last long, so they will need to find a replacement so they will post it again…rinse and repeat.

    • :hugs: sorry, Doug :(

    • Angela Ruzzo

      The conversation on this post reminds me of a job I applied for many years ago. I saw the job advertised the day after the deadline had passed, but called anyway, and was told, Sorry, deadline passed and we hired someone today. That was September. In January I saw the same ad for the same job. I applied, did not get an interview. In May I saw the same ad for the same job. That time I got an interview. The first thing they told me was that 2 people had recently left the position. That is a very bad sign, and after 5 minutes conversation with the boss, who never met my eyes once during the 2-hour interview but who seemed to be fascinated with his zipper, I figured out why nobody would work for him. Not being hired was probably a lucky break.

  • mancityRed6

    I asked my dad why he wore bell bottoms in the ’70s
    “that’s all you could find”
    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/widelegs.jpg

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Actually in the mid 70’s a pair of faded boot cut or straight leg button front Levi’s paired with a Mexican peasant smock and Earth shoes was the schizz for teenage girls.

      • mancityRed6

        yeah, well, my parents were parents by then.
        and it was the midwest. it took 10 years for what was hep on the coasts to make it this far inland.

      • TootsStansbury

        Earth shoes!

        • therblig

          i loved mine, although my heel callouses were humongous.

      • DrBigHead

        Among my group in the early to mid 70’s it was boots with Vibram soles, Levis and flannel shirts. Imagine late 80’s Seattle grunge, but only if the clothes were new.

        • TootsStansbury

          Frye Boots for us.

          • Sophia

            I had forgotten about those

        • TootsStansbury

          I preferred the Asian cotton slipper flats myself. I outraged my school because I sported hot pink ones! Scandal!

          • DrBigHead

            It was not until I was in 7th Grade that jeans were allowed in the public school district I went to. I can remember how pleased my mother was when they finally relented , because at the time jeans were a hell of a lot cheaper than what we had been wearing. Not any more.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            They did away with our dress code when I was in 8th grade. At first they had a “test week” to see what we would do. First day of Test Week I wore my biggest bell-bottom hip hugger jeans with a 2″ wide leather belt full of grommets, a Mexican peasant blouse, a leather bolero with fringe hanging to my knees, a narrow suede headband with a peace symbol on my forehead, and huaraches. I don’t remember how I talked my mother into letting me wear this, but it must have been an interesting conversation. I guess we passed the test, because No Dress Code became official.

        • Oxidation Suspenders

          We called those boots “waffle stompers” and wore them until the weather was warm enough to cut the legs off our worn Levis and then had “cut offs” which we did not call shorts. Love me some interesting colloquialisms.

          • DrBigHead

            God yes. No right-thinking person ever wore cutoff pants that you had to buy.
            And I also remember “waffle stompers”

        • Alt-dog
          • DrBigHead

            Oh my god! My people!

      • Angela Ruzzo

        My girlfriends and I would not have been caught dead wearing Levis. To be honest, I can’t remember now why that was, but I think it had something to do with boys.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Note the wide cuff at the bottom. It was the cuff that separated casual bell-bottom jeans from chic daywear bell bottoms – probably because they required ironing, and when did you ever see a hippie with an iron??? There were also “crossover” styles which were jeans, but with wide cuffs. You could also have pleats at the bottom, so that when you walked, even more “bell” would appear, and the inside of the pleat could be a contrasting material, preferably something embroidered if you were female. Naturally the pleat required ironing. The Best People had both kinds of bell bottoms – jean grunge and chic cuffed – to wear for different occasions.

    • Angela Ruzzo
      • mancityRed6

        I was born a year later.
        yeah.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          So you’re a Disco Baby.

          • mancityRed6

            *thinks of parents*
            yeah, I highly doubt that.

      • therblig
        • Angela Ruzzo

          You’re a brave man. I never show anyone my yearbook photos. I went to a reunion a few years ago and they had all our grad photos on the ID tags, I covered mine up with a yearbook picture of myself doing a belly dance at the 1974 Talent Night. That was probably the most interesting event in my high school career.

  • HazooToo
  • Lizzietish81
    • suziq

      Well she seems nice!

      • seems being the operative word there!

        • suziq

          If you don’t listen to what she says or pay any attention to her.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      It’s a shame when such hateful rhetoric is wrapped in such a pretty package.

      I had a thought about her this AM, which would cause Dok to permanently ban hammer me if I shared it.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    Gucci Mane’s real name is Radric. Who would voluntarily give up the name Radric?

    Also, Jay-Z’s mom is gay. This makes me happy for some weird reason.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Radric is a pretty great name.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It’s a great name. It sounds slightly Bond villian like.

      • Bobathonic

        “Welease Wadwic!”

  • HazooToo
    • BadKitty904

      Given Jared and Iwanka, I’d think that’s common occurrence in the present White House.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      This is why men like DT have gotten away with treating women badly. I’ve apologized to chairs when I bumped into them.

      • HazooToo

        I’ve apologized to men I was literally in the middle of insulting to their faces. It’s a deeply buried instinct!

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          My favorite “This may sound stupid, but…” Do men ever say that?

          • C4TWOMAN

            I can report yes, but the only examples I can recall immediately are from my gay friends, not straight men.

          • II Gosala

            Straight men do it but only to superiors. The thing is all men are superior to all women — not really, sociologically speaking.

            Here’s the weird bit, as a boss, I hate excessive apologises. I hate the obsequiousness. I hate the distraction from the task at hand.

          • I think you are the only boss I ever knew who did. Maybe Warren Buffet, does not seem keen on the bootlicking. But that is it.
            Good on you, Gosala.

          • II Gosala

            thank you… But I’m in a genuine conundrum here.

            It shouldn’t be about me, … but how much is my message “say what you have to say straight out” imposing a male style whilst pretending … something, something.

            I say this because several (most, Ok almost all) women who’ve worked for me just don’t want to go there. So I’m thinking something’s going on I don’t get.

            I depend on the sisterhood for guidance here.

          • C4TWOMAN

            This is probably why some men think I’m weird, I’ll just tell them they’re wrong if its appropriate and look them in the eye.

            Yet many have your reaction re-apologies–they’re happy a female isn’t being hesitant and unsure. The ones who aren’t happy, isn’t so much they think they’re better(though some…yeh) as they not used to it and experience it as an “attack” or something. Which is LOL not my problem.

            So much comoribund sociological bullshit…sigh.

          • II Gosala

            You have mastered male confrontation. Congratulations, it will serve you well.

            Yeah, it’s their problem if they are disturbed by it (broflake is a word I learned today).

            Sociological bullshit … I hear you, sister.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Well. I’m kinda cheating–I adopted male socialization at an early age(5-6ish). I didn’t socialize with children early and, when I started, I played with boys. It wasn’t that I didn’t have any female friends later–but I was already in the habit of either doing what I wanted or doing it alone. So many of these supposedly deferential habits were off my radar until I was interested in dating. That’s when I found out I was supposed to let him take the lead or something–and LOLOLOL forever.

            I don’t think they’re enough studies in how young this stuff has to be internalized before it “takes”. Apparently 5-6 is past the window.

          • Don’t you think that….?
            What man has ever said that. Ever.

          • OutOfOrbit

            Yuh got me there.

          • Suttree

            I have said that before. It is when I am pointing out that someone is doing something incorrectly. Men and women.

          • HazooToo

            “I think” prefaces a lot of the things I say, when it should be “I know”.

          • C4TWOMAN

            I use either depending how much tact I want to use. Usually, if I don’t feel/need to soften the blow, I dispense with preamble all together.

            Offering unasked for advice is a good time for an “I think”. By itself it’s not bad, unless it’s a self depreciating habit across the board.

          • For unsolicited advice, I go with “To me it seems….” and then at the end “At least, it seems that way to me”
            It’s a total coward way out but I’ve tried to help people “asking” for advice so very much and I never seem to learn that most of the time they are not asking for advice.

          • HazooToo

            Mostly the second. But also because I rarely ever got ASKED for advice before I quit giving a fuck whether people liked me. Even if they had NO idea what they were doing and I was standing right there doing the same thing faster.

          • II Gosala

            Actually yes. Women have to do it far more, but any man talking to a superior he’s not certain of has used this dodge.

            Its a gender thing. It’s also a power thing.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Sure it wasn’t the sarcastic? I do that. It’s also a good tactic is they’re are witnesses, in a work situation.

          On the street though, lol–fuck that.

          • HazooToo

            “I’m sorry, I can’t work with an asshole, I’m sorry.” Twice. And then I apologized to my manager for leaving him alone at the sandwich station because he was an asshole.

          • C4TWOMAN

            That’s hilarious. It sounds like you didn’t mean it that way, but trust me, that’s golden.

            And keeping you’re manager in the loop was smart.

          • HazooToo

            Thankfully, she agreed with me! ^^ AND I still got the shift manager position. Didn’t have to work his shift ever again.

      • Persistent Demme

        It’s generational, too.
        My mother-in-law was the queen of passive-aggressive behavior.
        She once told me that she thought I was too direct. (She told others that I was a bitch.)
        Years later, she confessed that she thought I was right.

    • Sophia

      Canadian?

      • HazooToo

        No, just ingrained politeness and fears of seeming ‘rude’ or ‘shrill’ or ‘bossy’.

      • Three Finger Salute

        I don’t think so. That’s John Cena’s girlfriend, she’s from New Jersey.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AJ_Lee

  • BadKitty904

    Kden, supper’s ready – Minorcan stew (like NY clam chowder, but Minorcan and made with coquinas) and crusty bread – and the Big Cat’s on his way home from the gym. It’s storming out, so – with the big weekend coming up – he’s suggested we stay in and have a Movie Night. The feature presentation is Yankee Doodle Dandy, with Jimmy Cagney…

  • mancityRed6
    • HazooToo

      I would watch that show, today.

    • Thiazin Red

      I like that everyone in this picture looks super stoked to be wearing these outfits.

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/31560ae50a4d94aea79e92690402f1f7536af0c9fe802e697643171795705f96.jpg

      • Persistent Demme

        Hey!
        “My-dad-had-that-outfit-and-a-powder-blue-leisure-suit” libelz!

        • Lambsendbeds

          Hey – MY dad had a Nehru jacket – and love beads.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      Gee, now you’ve gone and reminded me of my brother’s 1977 wedding, with the groom and ushers in powder blue polyester tuxedos with enormous lapels, and the disco contest at the reception. I was doing so well at not remembering this.

  • Sophia

    Why is this not surprising?

    Trump just made a humiliating economic error in front of South Korea’s president

    https://www.vox.com/world/2017/6/30/15903178/trump-south-korea-trade-debt

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara
  • Okay, George is doing the potty dance, see y’all later. George my dog, not George the former president. Laura has to handle those ones.

  • Moebym Reborn

    In other news, one of the works by my favorite horror mangaka, Junji Ito, is getting an anime adaptation. I hope it’s Uzumaki, a.k.a. “Spiral”.

    https://www.animenewsnetwork.com/news/2017-06-30/work-by-horror-manga-artist-junji-ito-gets-anime-adaptation/.118229

    • mancityRed6

      I know I have that movie, somewhere.
      I used to live next to a place that had a great Japanese section.
      I think they had a Takashi Miike section, too.

    • I feel like I am living in one of Ito’s manga.

  • OneYieldRegular

    I think is terribly unfair to exploit Miss Teen South Carolina 2007 by comparing her to someone as willfully ignorant and malicious as Kellyanne Conway.

  • I see your confusion, George. See, KAC as she is known lies about everything.
    So when she says millions of women who are not covered will get covered, she means the opposite of that.
    She is also a soulless leach and will be one of the first thrown under the bus when the Russia thing comes home to roost.

    • Sophia

      If she knows anything, once things get really hot for her she will be tossing people under the bus like crazy. I think Trump may meet his match with this soulless bitch if the shit hits the fan.

      • That would be fun ^.^ I would totes cheer her on myself, for reasons. Vagina ones mostly, but also cause I loathe the sherbertskinned fuckless idiot also.
        But she is just so daft, idk if she is wise enough to stack her own deck as it were.

        • Sophia

          She’s not daft, she’s evil. There’s a difference

          • She is daft AND evil?

          • Lori

            Nope, just evil.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Why not both?

          • Lori

            It’s obviously possible for a person to be both daft & evil, but I see no evidence that’s the case for KAC. She’s just evil.

          • Sophia

            Maybe I am giving her more credit than she’s due but I think she’s sneaky smart. She’s keeping track so she can save her own ass if need be. KaC is probably the one who has the Comey tapes.

          • thixotropic jerk

            She may be daft. She may be evil. But she’s not Daft Punk Evil.

            http://www.whosampled.com/sample/2495/Daft-Punk-Face-to-Face-Electric-Light-Orchestra-Evil-Woman/

      • C4TWOMAN

        Well, she is smarter than Trump.
        A rotten potato is smarter than Trump…

    • Lambsendbeds

      I hope to be driving that bus when Kellyanne is thrown under it.

      • C4TWOMAN

        You’re going to have to fight to get that job. It’ll be like the Hunger Games….

  • mancityRed6

    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/bluemonday.jpg
    “These primitive creatures are no match to our superior funknology, prepare the groove armada at once!”

    • Sophia

      Memories

    • HazooToo

      That is actually gorgeous, why did THAT die out?

      • OutOfOrbit

        Either heat stroke for him or major nip-out for her.

    • jesterpunk
      • mancityRed6

        I got to see Erykah Badu and Cypress Hill open up for P Funk in ’97. it was a damn good show.

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        I met George Clinton once. He and the whole P-Funk Orchestra were staying in the same Residence Inn as me for a week back in the 1990s in Fishkill, NY of all places (they were going to play in Central Park on 4th of July, and I guess they arrived early).

        I have pictures to prove it.

        • jesterpunk

          Wait that sounds like something from the movie PCU. But really that had to be cool.

          • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

            A friend of mine played B-ball with some of the band. The Brides of Funkenstein were really good on Karaoke night out by the pool.

            I gots my picture with George and the bass player.

      • mancityRed6

        one of these people are into it, and the other is just…there.

    • Thiazin Red

      The woman looks a bit like Bilquis from American Gods.

    • MamaBrown

      I love this more than my life. Everything was so BIG in the 70’s!

    • Now that is some serious funk.
      Not gonna lie, always wanted to look good in a dress like that. Or for that matter, a coat like that.

    • thixotropic jerk

      But does it come with an optional jet pack under the coat?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Sonic screwdriver/sonic shades accessories?

    • doktorzoom

      That guy could have a suit duel with David Byrne.

    • Swampgas_Man

      For the man who never has to reach into his pocket.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I thought Ivanka and Jared were on top of this shit. Are they just frauds or does Shabbos start at sundown on Friday of the second week of February and last indefinitely?

    • Persistent Demme

      I think they are frauds.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Doug Langley

      I just threw up in my mouth a little.

    • Persistent Demme

      Aw, man!
      Bummer that Franklin has to be the Hulk.

      • DrBigHead

        My son told me once that he could never spend a $100.00 bill because of the look on Franklin’s face. It is like he is disappointed in what you have done.

    • Penny Dreadful Says Cats

      Why does Ben look so depressed? He should be SMASHING ALL THE THINGS.

      • Persistent Demme

        He’s depressed cause he wanted to fly.

        • Swampgas_Man

          Depressed cause he’s not president.

    • therblig

      shouldn’t they have king george as loki?

  • HazooToo
  • memzilla Ω
    • Alex Grey

      My 82lb dog is also afraid of vacuum cleaners, umbrellas, the hose, and a host of other things…

      • Jennifer R

        I had a cat afraid of goldfish. She was also afraid of crows. Whenever crows would show up she would turn in her window and look inside the house instead.

        • mancityRed6

          when I was growing up, both cats were kinda “meh” when I put my hamster near them.

          • C4TWOMAN

            “Dude, what is that thing?”
            “Don’t make eye contact.”
            “Like, is it a mutant tailless squirrel? The ugliest dog ever?”
            “Don’t make eye contact!”

          • Jennifer R

            Smaller cats probably won’t hunt anything bigger than a mouse, but I had a bit tom that would go get adult squirrels.

          • thixotropic jerk

            How could you tell it was an adult squirrel? Asking for a former Guv “friend.”

          • mancityRed6

            at the house, the mice were smart and stayed hidden. but the voles would just walk in like they owned the place. I found at least 10 that one of the animals just got bored with.

        • Lori

          She had reason to be afraid of crows, they’re scary smart and not always nice. The day they decide to team up with the octopuses and turn on us humanity is finished.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Can someone explain to me why it is that mockingbirds hate cats so much? This is the second time in 30 years I’ve encountered a terrorist mockingbird who wants to torment my indoor cat, and which is inadvertently tormenting me, because it sits right outside the door screeching at the cat for hours. Cat keeps making “Aaack-aaack” noises. I have to turn up the volume on the TV.
          https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/bf0adad1e01b8df4b807fbb852697efd43edae286220ff075813fc0e0cdbaff2.jpg .

          • Jennifer R

            Three year old mentalities find grand enjoyment from doing A Thing and seeing result happen.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I think that is part of my confusion. The bird can keep this up for hours, and nothing ever happens. I mean, the cat never moves, the bird never moves except to hop over to a different chair now and then for variety. You’d think they’d have some kind of internal time limit, but apparently not. The exact same thing happened 30 years ago in a different house with a different bird and a different cat. The squawking is torture. It doesn’t help if I close the door. I need Mockingbird repellent.

          • Jennifer R

            Thought you said the cat vocalized back.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes it does, but it’s a very low-frequency, soft sound they make when they see a bird out a window. The Mockingbird, on the other hand, could get a job as a Tornado Siren.

          • arglebargle

            I bet they have a nest somewhere close to your patio. They apparently don’t need a big tree. I had a pair nest six feet away from my front door in a five foot tall shrub. They would give me hell every time I went in or out for a couple of weeks.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes, I planted 9 evergreens about 40 feet from the back door. They’ve been there 5 years, and this is the first year Mockingbirds moved in. But the nest is empty, so why is this bird hanging around? I want to foreclose on him. There are plenty of other trees nearby, I should get him a good realtor. A few years ago there were Robins nesting in the plum tree, and their babies would cheep whenever the parents brought worms home, which was much nicer. I got this great photo by standing near the tree and chirping like the mother bird. Mother bird was not amused. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6a3732d3e759bff4b5a1e17ff8a542cd13bd251b9557b5edc71643e8ba159349.jpg

          • arglebargle

            very cool

      • Vincent Ricola

        My dog cowers in fear at the sight of mail. UPS Boxes send her running to the basement to hide.

        • Alex Grey

          My dog gets excited when the mail person comes, she brings dog treats…

          • C4TWOMAN

            We had one of those.
            EDIT: Mail carriers, that is.

          • DirtyHippyLiberal

            Mine got past me out the door and jumped into the mail truck. He did the same with the UPS guy and two different neighbors (he’s quick, OK!?). We figure he hates us and is trying to run away from home.

      • Everrett Fanuelli

        hot air balloons, thunder and fireworks

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        We figured out the cat was deaf when we realized we could run the vacuum cleaner right behind her with no effect.

        • thixotropic jerk

          I cat hear you?

        • Angela Ruzzo

          I have a cat that is apparently partially deaf. She doesn’t hear the vacuum cleaner, but she can hear the can opener.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            This is the cat-est thing I’ve read today

    • HazooToo

      I fucking love The Oatmeal so much!

    • mancityRed6

      the cattle dog
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/49c14acee0b99c5297dff9deeaa4c99dfcb60b57b60cfdd1995b68c73c1b9a80.jpg
      the dog that’s bred to do this:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sl4OlxW70ZM
      would crawl under the bed on her belly.
      I always laughed but felt so bad for her.

      • shivaskeeper

        I bet if someone’s back was turned she would be heading for the ankles though.

        • mancityRed6

          that’s why the original owners gave her up. “going after the kids’ ankles.”
          duh
          we trained her out of that.

          • shivaskeeper

            I remember you mentioning that. Patient training to make her half the monster she was bred to be.

    • OutOfOrbit

      I don’t got no dog, I don’t want no dog, but a dog lives here, snot fair.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Aww, so sweet too…

      • Courser_Resistance

        My big dogs were like that. They always made sure they were between me and any possible threat. They were Borzoi – Russian Wolfhounds, so they didn’t do anything more aggressive than a stare-down. Just stood there kinda enigmatically.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          My cats do this thing. If Strange Person comes in the house, they jump to the floor and get down on their bellies and put their ears back and hiss and howl and show their teeth and put their tail in attack position, as if they were going to KILL whoever it is, and then they run like mad for the bedroom and hide under the bedspread.

          • shivaskeeper

            They have done their job by registering their dislike of Strange Person and threatening them, The rest is up to you. One of friends had a Rottweiler like that. Loud, aggressive sounding, hackles up, and then hiding in the bedroom.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I really miss having a dog.

    • Alex Grey

      The dog says, “Friendbeast is not aware of the danger, must alert the Friendbeast to the danger.” *Bark bark woof bark bark*

  • Ryan Denniston
    • I am so sure these are actually legit salaries and not complete lies.

      • Ryan Denniston

        Good point. The White House IS the biggest producer of fake news.

    • HazooToo

      Does that include all the enoulments they’re receiving from foreign governments and diplomats or nah?

      • Ryan Denniston

        Of course not.

        • HazooToo

          Right, that would be silly, wouldn’t it? What was I thinking…

    • Suttree

      I want to be the calligrapher. $100k for fancy writing ain’t too shabby. I would also throw in a bunch of “Turnip is a disgusting pigman” all pretty like..

      • C4TWOMAN

        So pretty they couldn’t make out they’re being insulted?

        • Suttree

          Exactly!

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        How can you read that? When I embiggen it’s just basically letter-shaped fuzz.

  • HazooToo
    • are we being fucking serious right now XD lolz

    • C4TWOMAN

      *blinks*
      *blinks again*

      While one should never be ashamed about shedding uterine lining, I also don’t think it’s a platform for self expression?

      But then people have joke toilet paper. So if this floats your boat, okey dokey!

      *wanders away in daze*

    • Ryan Denniston

      Explains the dopey grin.

    • Michael R

      Here’s a Spongebob bowling ball , I was amused by the roundness of it .

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c10e5d6335dcb675aa42894100cd589f67da1f951f9b174504355ce7c1919e25.jpg

      • HazooToo

        That is SO MUCH FUNNIER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE!

  • mancityRed6

    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/joggersuit.jpg
    “What’d you say about my “blouse”?”

    • OutOfOrbit

      Funka-fucking-delic

    • C4TWOMAN

      That’s actually cute. A bit sci-fi tho…like from a dystopian film.

      • Oxidation Suspenders

        Aren’t we in a dystopian film? Or, is this real? Please tell me we’re in the film.

        • C4TWOMAN

          You wanna hear the Pill speech or just skip to picking Red or Blue?

        • Nicholas

          Actually, our world was the setting of a “so-bad-it’s-good” cop show. The writers wrapped up a couple seasons ago and now the fanfic writers have taken over…

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Love the shirt! Do they make that in men’s sizes?

    • Vincent Ricola

      That’s basically my casual Friday outfit.

  • mardam422

    She is the perfect Republican spokesperson. Throw so much chaff into the air that no one can see what the original question was. Then sit back and watch/listen to your idiot followers regurgitate every word like it is gospel. I’ll say this…she earns her pay.

    • georgiaburning

      I appreciate performance art, but the act is getting stale.

  • mancityRed6

    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/pepto.jpg
    so…you’re telling me if I wear this suit, women in sexy pantsuits will be on their knees for me?
    Sold!

  • Michael R
  • Raan
  • HazooToo
    • Jennifer R

      I used to drive around and listen to the radio for hours.

      • HazooToo

        I used to walk in circles around strip malls at night with my best friend and talk and smoke until 3am.

        • mancityRed6

          I’d get off work at midnight and use the new walking trail they put in up the street.
          that was a bad summer.
          oh, and I got pulled over once and almost got shot.

          • HazooToo

            That’s how our nighttime adventures stopped. With the police taking an interest. And that was right about the same time I was waking up to “If I was black, I would be dead or in prison right now” and it stopped being quite so much fun…

          • Bemused Australian

            I used to blade long distances in the wee hours and see if I could break the speed limit going down hills.

      • Swampgas_Man

        Hell, I used to do that virtually, just put Grand Theft Auto 5 in the PS4 and listen to the car radio. Of course, you eventually get into a fender bender or have a cop after you.

        • Jenny

          So the average friday night?

          • Jennifer R

            Maybe 2 am so I could listen to BBC on NPR.

    • TJ Barke

      Sometimes in the morning when I wake up I hope I’m the only person still in the world.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Even if that happens there still will be zombies…

        • HazooToo

          Zombies are nicer than people. They never lie!

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’ve totally been there.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I used to drive an airport shuttle van and the Fuck-thirty AM runs were followed by 1.5 hours sitting in the van in Downtown Denver. Some of the most peaceful and productive time of my life.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    The next person who sez trump is not a politician and will grow into the job gets a cock punch/cunt punt, whichever is gender appropriate.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      And “this is who we elected” … by -3,000,000 votes.

    • I actually agree that Trump is not a politician, but he will not grow into the job as he is also not a sentient human being, merely a talking pile of orange shit.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Imagine if you started a new job and after 6 months were still a total fuckup. No employer would put up with that.

  • janecita

    Mark Hamill is a national treasure!

    Check out this video on YouTube:

    http://youtu.be/R4qfqQDN4rg

  • Rick Hill

    So, Wonk-tetnical question. Are there any media players that actually do a random play? WMP doesn’t do a bad job, but it plays the same songs again and again, though I work it so it doesn’t reset. In theory it should hit every song before repeating but it doesn’t. Anything that works?

    • mancityRed6

      I like Pandora.
      hear me out.
      you have to finesse it. tell it what you like. if you’re not paying for it, prepare to hear commercials. make a station of a band you like and thumb down anything you don’t.
      after awhile, it learns.
      I have a Blues Brothers channel that doesn’t play any Blues Brothers songs, only the songs that inspired them.

      • Rick Hill

        Nah, I got enough music. It just doesn’t play all the way through.

        • mancityRed6

          I’m still working off of cds if I’m not on youtube so…I’m not the person to answer that.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Have you tried iTunes for Windows? The Apple version works fine.

      • Jennifer R

        No apple software on windows is worth it.

    • Jennifer R

      Winamp does this.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        Winamp still exists?

        • Jennifer R

          A Belgium company bought it and Nullsoft a few years ago.

    • natoslug

      Random would not mean that it would play every song before repeating, unless you are removing each song from the queue after playing. And considering the best you can get from a computer is pseudo-random, you’re never going to have completely random. With enough songs, or playing long enough, while the probability of hearing the same song repeat, say, 15 times in a row is rather low, the possibility still exists. (takes off software engineer/code monkey/data analyst hat and goes back to bunk)

      • Jennifer R

        Winamp has had a button you press if you want the random list to include repetition in the list or not.

        • natoslug

          Sampling without replacement would be great for playlists. Of course, so would having iTunes not dump a bunch of Christmas songs onto my phone even though I’ve selected the option to not fill empty space with random crappy music . . .

          • Jennifer R

            If you are using mobile I think doubletwist (what I use on my phone) does it as well. There really is no reason to use iTunes on windows beyond what you absolutely need to do to power any iOS devices.

    • Ryan Denniston

      This is an age-old statistics question. Sampling without replacement (what you want) and sampling with replacement (what you get). WMP is acting on the basis of the second. Not familiar with others that do what you want, but I will defer to others.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Foobar 2000 works pretty well on random mode. Also VLC Media Player.

      • Rick Hill

        Thanks

      • Cock Blockula

        I got VLC a few weeks ago. Really liking it!

    • beingreleased

      Here’s what I do. After I listen to a track (or really, a bunch of tracks, but this is the simple version), I remove it from my library. When I’ve listened to everything I start over. This is actually my project on my work computer. It’s going to take a while to get through everything, but it’s a nice little game.

    • beingreleased

      Another idea. You can do this in iTunes, I don’t know about other players. Make a smart playlist with the rule last played=Null or number of plays =0. I don’t know the exact rule, but something like that.

  • Three Finger Salute

    Some Democrats are asking for a WH Mental Health Panel to be convened to basically determine if Trump is a 5150 and therefore a 25A, therefore incompetent and ineligible for office. Much as I would love to see this tangerine nightmare over and done with (his administration, I mean, not himself — even though it won’t be; it might be worse with the Jesus freak taking his place), in a way, I hope that Trump isn’t legitimately mentally ill and that he’s just a sexist, loudmouth asshole who came from a time when you could get away with this sort of thing and never quite “upgraded” to the current year. Call it a Y2K bug, fine. But please don’t say he’s got a personality disorder or he’s manic-depressive or has P.T.S.D. or anything like that.

    All it’s going to do is cause people to associate assholery with mental illness, just like they already associate it with shooting rampages and people who stand in the middle of the street waving a machete thinking they’re fighting storm troopers with a light saber — and then get killed by cops.

    At the same time, I don’t want the pendulum to swing the other way like an exponentially growing number of people — including clinical psychologists who IMHO are as much of a threat to the public health as the Scientology-esque movement they’re caught up in — want to do, and rebrand mental illness as a “difference” that doesn’t need to be “cured.”

    I do want a cure. A set-it-and-forget it 10-day antibiotic or some other once-and-for-all solution, one that doesn’t require lifelong medication or just “living with it.” I’d rather it be looked upon like cancer — a tragedy deserving of pity, and worthy of a moon shot initiative like Joe Biden called for at the end of his time in office — than like a ticking time bomb threat, or some dismissive, ridiculous, Hollywoodized notion that it’s really a “gift” or “diverse orientation that the ableist normative society doesn’t understand” or “connectivity to genius” and therefore a “blessing in disguise.”

    But just like I hope this hospital shooter doesn’t have a diagnoseable condition, and is therefore another shooter tagged with the yellow star patch that is depression, schizophrenia, or bipolar disorder, I actually hope Trump doesn’t either. Call me selfish, but all it’ll do IMHO is make life more difficult and increase the stigma for people like me.

    • Jennifer R

      Born on third and thought he hit a triple. He isn’t crazy he is an awful prick. He does seem very cognitively slow and due to his age and his grade SSS projection, I assume he is dying of Alzheimer’s.

      • II Gosala

        Born on third. Thinks he hit a grand slam.

        • Old town Urbandale

          Biggest grand slam ever. But you never hear about it in the lying MSM. Like my huge inauguration crowd. Sad!

      • Three Finger Salute

        Patrick Kennedy said it would be a bad idea to incorporate mental health as 25A criteria. That said, Alzheimer’s itself is terminal (the physical brain is literally decaying), whereas other than suicide, addictions or personal neglect (i.e. poor eating habits and lack of sleep or sleeping too much), bipolar disorder, depression, anxiety, etc. technically aren’t. So that’s a grey area like it was with Reagan. I suppose he’d have to die of it first or suffer a massive stroke, and then get autopsied and retroactively diagnosed to avoid the thorny issue.

        Otherwise, it could open up a can of worms where other people can get fired from their jobs (or have to pass a psychiatric intake as part of the workplace physical, as a condition of getting hired), for presenting with mental health conditions — which would be likely to make their conditions even worse and possibly lead to the breakdowns that people describe as “going postal.”

        I would hope that if anything good comes from this shitshow, it’s that Americans are finally able to open up a compassionate and constructive dialogue about mental health concerns, and a subsequent administration starts their own Biden moonshot going all-in with scientific investment to cure, once and for all, Alzheimer’s and psychiatric disorders. The 2020s are/were supposed to be the “decade of the brain.” But who knows if this country will even survive until then. I’m not too confident about that first part ever happening though. Not here at least. Maybe Europe. Certainly Canada. But not the USA with its hardwired bootstraps-and-Jesus mythology.

        • Jennifer R

          That sure isn’t happening. We can’t even decide if people should die on the streets or not. Not even mentioning the hugeness volume of people who still insist mental illness doesn’t exist.

      • Slamtundra

        I saw some old interview with him from the late 80’s I believe and he was a lot more with it than he is now. Could be the lack of exercise, the fast food, and the age. But he’s gone downhill in the last 20 years. But that doesn’t change the fact that, as you said, he’s an awful goddamn prick. And yeah, he could be dying from Alzheimer’s.

        • Jennifer R

          He has gone down hill in the last 20 weeks. Fuck look at him at the start of the primary season. This whole dumpster fire has smoke so thick no one can even remember that he could at least keep a thought for 10 minutes then.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Paraphrasing another commenter , Trump has no emotional, mental, intellectual resources for dealing with any criticisms, much less the constant barrage even a legit president would get.

          • Jennifer R

            There is a shit ton of stuff wrong with me, and even I can take criticism better.

          • Bemused Australian

            He’s definitely deteriorating. It’s unpleasant to watch.

        • Bemused Australian

          A friend of dad’s who’s a retired psychogeriatrician has been studying the Donald. She went back over all the interviews, speeches, etc she could get hold of going back to the ’80s. In her opinion the deterioration of vocabulary and grammar, as well as his tendency to fixate on certain ideas and phrases (particularly out of context) are indicative of early stage dementia.

          • Rags

            I wonder if it isn’t more ministrokes than dementia. His motor issues (stairs, golf carts, walking, standing erect) might point in that direction. Of course his morbid obesity doesn’t help with his balance either.

        • Suttree

          He was a fucking prick in the 80’s. I was 10 and I knew it.

      • Bemused Australian

        That or Neurosyphillis.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        If he weren’t the head of a nasty political party I would feel sorry for him. People like Ryan and Turtle Boy are using him. That makes me angry.

        • Jennifer R

          Yeah, I mean he was always an awful prick and holy shit I don’t feel bad for him at all, but it shouldn’t happen.

    • HazooToo

      There is this excellent piece by a psychologist known as @docrocktex26 on Twitter that may be of interest to you. https://storify.com/docrocktex26/instability-in-chief-when-the-man-who-would-be-pre

      • Three Finger Salute

        Thanks for that. This one particularly stood out for me.

        “‘Bad’ isn’t a clinical diagnosis, it’s a moral one and only furthers
        mental health stigma by labeling genuine illness as a pejorative.”

        To be clear, I don’t think he’s well at all. And this is certainly a unique situation where, yes, the leader of the most powerful nation in the world who has access to a nuclear arsenal needs to be mentally fit enough to handle the job. But I just don’t want it being used as a reason to discriminate against other people who aren’t in the #1 job in the country.

        She also hit the nail on the head about how anyone who really is concerned about the mental illness crisis in America shouldn’t be voting Republican to get rid of Obamacare. The “ableism” issue that she understandably brings up too, is a serious cultural problem: it’s why FDR had to be photographed sitting down so that the very “ableist” Nazis (and the American public) didn’t see him as projecting “weakness” in a wheelchair, during a time when superhuman strength was called for. Trump getting ADA accommodations would be exploited to no end by the very same “ableist” culture of right-wing media that birthed his wheelchair-mocking candidacy in the first place. To have Dear Leader be anything less than the Immortal God Emperor of Sparta would lead to a collective mental breakdown and possibly a civil war. Trump isn’t right, but him continuing to not be right and his followers just go along with it is a symptom of a far greater problem. I guess that’s where the toxic masculinity descriptor ties in. American culture is sick to the point where they want a Superman with an immunity to Kryptonite.

        As for Obama quitting smoking, I don’t really see a comparison. Smoking isn’t stigmatized to the level that cognitive impairment or psychological distress is. Again because culturally it was always seen as “cool” thanks to cigarette advertising using movie stars to project glamour. As usual, media depictions are to blame all around. He’s an international embarrassment as it is even without a “label.” But while a “label” might help the public to understand his behavior more, it also projects a serious vulnerability on America’s part. Without one, he’s just seen as an asshole — and one that enough people are willing to write off as “alpha.” Even though he’s probably got a potentially fatal weakness that’s probably not going to be addressed.

        What a mess.

        • HazooToo

          All very good observations and stuff that people should be reading to get a better understanding of the pitfalls here. As far as Obama’s smoking, well, the man WAS dogpiled for wearing a damn tan suit, so pretty much everything he did had a stigma attached specifically for him. But lately we’re seeing that they’ve completely forgotten everything they did over the last 8 fucking years, so it doesn’t really compare anymore because “it never happened” which makes me want to scream.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      On the other hand, if they could identify a mental illness that turns white men into greedy sociopaths who become corporate CEOs, that could be useful. They could call it “Enron Syndrome.”

      • Jonny On Maui

        Greed as a mental illness…

        • II Gosala

          It’s a moral failing. Mental illness is completely different. Srsly

          • Jennifer R

            This.

          • Jonny On Maui

            We may agree to disagree. Morals can be situational. Mental illness, not so much in my opinion.

            If the answer to the question, “How much is enough?” is, “There’s never enough.” Is that a moral failing?

          • Jennifer R

            Perhaps a philosophical failing? Not seeing how unending greed really lines up with any of the mental illness clusters.

          • Jonny On Maui

            Well, imo if there was a cure for greed this might be a better planet…

          • Jennifer R

            I suspect the answer is small scale love. Sadly so much of the world thinks it is like pie and to be jealously guarded lest one runs out.

          • II Gosala

            In the basis of what you have given me? Yes.

            Here’s a tentative definition: Moral Failing: the habitual making of socially irresponsible choices in the absence of any identifiable mental illness.

            In other words, or in the words of the Avesta

            30:2. Hear with your ears the best things; look upon them with clear-seeing thought, for decision between the two Beliefs, each man for himself before the Great consummation, bethinking you that it be accomplished to our pleasure.

            3. Now the two primal Spirits, who reveal themselves in vision as Twins, are the Better and the Bad, in thought and word and action. And between these two the wise ones chose aright, the foolish not so.

            4. And when these twain Spirits came together in the beginning, they created Life and Not-Life, and that at the last Worst Existence shall be to the followers of the Lie, but the Best Existence to him that follows Right.

            Yasna 30:2-4
            http://www.avesta.org/yasna/yasna.htm#y28

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Greed is so common, it would be hard to prove it is a mental illness. I keep hoping they’ll find a Greed Gene.

      • II Gosala

        #notallgreedyrichwhitemen

        Oh, fuck it: all greedy rich white men

    • II Gosala

      I’m with Keith Olbermann on this: Trump is corrupt, probably a traitor and perhaps medically incompetent.

      It is criminal malfeasance* to not impeach him because of political calculations.

      *updated from “irresponsible”. Thank you OutOfOrbit

      • OutOfOrbit

        “irresponsible” my ass, it is criminal malfeasance.

        • II Gosala

          updated. Wish I had a few extra upvotes

    • OutOfOrbit

      No one here is equating mental illness with “assholery”.

      • Jonny On Maui

        Let’s just say I have tourettes…

        • mancityRed6

          “you have tourettes”

          • Jonny On Maui

            “Two shows a night folks. Try the veal and don’t forget to tip your servers…”

        • therblig

          i do.
          for most of us it’s vocalizations (noises) and tics.
          coprolalia only affects about 5%
          it’s the TS/ADHD/OCD trifecta that sucks, especially for kids.

          • II Gosala

            Coprolalia is the cursing thing?

            Yeah that trifecta sounds sucky. Didn’t know it was a thing,

          • therblig

            yes.

            my worst one is typing/backspacing/typing the same word or letter repeatedly. really cuts down on the productivity some days.

          • II Gosala

            Jeez, that sounds … well, I don’t know the word — sucky?

            But thanks for the insight. I’ll try to remember. (No joke. I have memory problems, but this is “big” enough,…I think I’ll remember)

          • therblig

            if you ever need a good cry (not that it’s all that hard these days), check out “I have tourettes, but tourettes doesn’t have me”. you can find it on HBO, from 2005. i can’t watch it without crying over how brave these kids are. given the coarsening of america, i can only imagine what some of them go through these days, but their strength is inspiring. and heartbreaking.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aDipNAuZuZI

          • II Gosala

            Saved for future viewing because today’s not the day.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Not here. Mainstream America.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        True. But both can cause pain.

    • Alt-dog

      If Trump has a diagnosable mental illness, I assume it would be sociopathy. Here are some of the traits from the DSM:

      A disregard for laws and social mores
      A disregard for the rights of others
      A failure to feel remorse or guilt

      Mental illness or not, he IS an asshole and is probably of below average IQ and almost certainly in the early stages of Alzheimer’s.

      • II Gosala

        Sociopathy is a personality disorder not a mental illness,

        I don’t know what set off Three Fingered Salute, but he/ she/ whatever is right about the confusion in the popular press about mental illness.

        • Jonny On Maui

          Confusion everywhere about mental illness. Why? Because it’s not talked about. There’s the shame and the whole ‘moral failure’ associated with mental illness still. Mental illness is just a subset of all physical illness and should not be looked upon any differently than the common cold.

          Again, just my $0.02…

          • Alt-dog

            I don’t think the lack of discussion is the only reason confusion abounds. Put ten psychiatrists who have spent a lifetime studying the subject in a room to discuss mental illness and you’ll get fifteen different opinions on all but the simplest of conditions.

          • II Gosala

            In the popular culture, mental illness is not much talked about and when it is, it’s done badly and with much same.

            I’m with you that far.

            But that doesn’t mean it’s not talked about well every where.

            I wish I understood it better. I wish you did too. I wish the shame and stigma would go away and we all could have a decent conversation about it,

          • Jonny On Maui

            Couldn’t agree more!

        • Alt-dog

          I think the distinction is simply a matter of degree, but in Trump’s case you are correct: his sociopathy is “only” a personality disorder.

          • II Gosala

            I’ll let you take that you with DSM-5

    • not_vh

      no, no this much avarice, malice and incompetence cannot be washed away as mental illness. nobody forced him there or thrust all this on him. he chose it.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      He’s been an asshole for 50+ years. Whether or not his brain is broken now would only get to the question of whether he’s gotten to be a bigger asshole.

    • mfp

      oh, he’s mentally ill, alright…just not in the way that most people visualise ‘mentally ill’…he’s not clinically depressed, bipolar, or schizo in any way, but he is a classic (sorry, have to say it) personality disorder (and extreme example)–that is the underlying reason (not excuse) that he’s a sexist, loudmouthed asshole, and he’s (for lack of a better phrase) un-fucking-fixable…sorry again, but you have to trust me on this, i work with a lot of folks with personality disorders…it’s neither fun nor pretty, and in my experience, it is the personality disorders who tend towards violence, more than the other illnesses we’ve mentioned…i’d take a hundred each of bipolar, depressed, or schizophrenic Cts over trying to help a p-d as extreme as trump (and people would be stunned to know how many more there are around them than they realise)

      and since his most visible public symptoms are that he’s an asshole, which is neither illegal, nor can he be officially diagnosed from a distance–and he will never submit to testing for a Dx–there’s really nothing to be done on that angle….it just aint gonna happen

      i want a cure, too…i think it’s achievable…it would make life better for so many, and the world would be a better place

  • Ryan Denniston

    Lovely, my fucking state is turning over voter rolls to Trump. I can only expect an uptick of Russian businessmen contacting me about fabulous business opportunities.

    http://www.wral.com/nc-will-supply-public-voter-data-in-trump-voter-fraud-hunt/16795128/

    • HazooToo

      Look up a protest or start one. And request your Governor’s info, since he’s good with taking yours.

      • OutOfOrbit

        We can surmise the state gov & ledge are Republican.

        • HazooToo

          Of course, but what’s his home address and the last four of his SSN? Obviously that’s something that should be public information, right?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Contact the ACLU and see if you can sue

    • C4TWOMAN

      ***Hi. I am Natasha Borchtovich****
      ** and I am calling about very serious issue regarding Internerting traffic.**

      We have been hired to watch for USA traitor dissidents online and your score is 78% !!
      Very bad comrade!!
      Contact immediately to clear up problem be prepared to sign loyalty test
      and have credit card ready .

      !!!!Make America Soviet Russia Again!!!!

      • Raan

        Only 78%, huh? Well we’ll just have to try harder, won’t we.

        • C4TWOMAN

          ***Hi. This is Natasha Borchtovich***
          **Calling again**
          You are on, how you say it? Very thinning ice.
          Most problematic we are seeing
          traffic from this Wonkette snark mob.
          You should be warning
          Internet Terrorism is not be tolerated.

          Did you download and sign new loyalty test?
          If not do so today and avoid long trip to gulag.

          ***Having a nice day!***

          • Raan

            We’re sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and try again.

    • Jennifer R

      NC is only providing information you can already pull off the public facing website. As per your link.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oregon’s GOP Secretary of State does the right thing and says no, albeit with a bit of prodding from Democrats. Dennis Richardson is the only statewide elected Rethug in Oregon.

  • mancityRed6

    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/kitchenfloor.jpg
    “good morning. how do you like your eggs?”

    • HazooToo

      Unfertilized, please.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Over sleezy

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      That looks like wallpaper from the 70s vomited all over Borat.

      • OutOfOrbit

        Stop staring! Why are you staring?

    • Alt-dog

      Before he became a famous porn star, Harry Reems used to be an underwear model.

    • wavicles

      Plaid Stallions! AWAY!!

  • Slamtundra

    I don’t like that lady. She seems mean and she lies A LOT.

  • HazooToo
  • beingreleased
    • Ryan Denniston

      A stoner might ask what is infinity really, and does infinity really matter. Trump does not know what infinity means. World’s shittiest car salesman.

    • HazooToo

      We used to have Presidents who could count to 4. With or without fingers.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Jesus, Buzz… Couldn’t you have found something else to do today?

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Jesus. :( I bet he didn’t get the joke. Poor Buzz.

    • Jenny

      Wait did he confuse Buzz Aldrin with Buzz Lightyear?

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        No, he was just completely clueless and didn’t realize at all that Aldrin was making a joke.

        • Jenny

          Possible but also seems possible that he thinks they’re one in the same. Where’s your cool wrist laser, Buzz?!?!?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            That’s a fun idea and I like the way you think, but I’d bet that Trumpy hasn’t seen Toy Story, and that he learned who Aldrin is five minutes before he walked into the room.

      • beingreleased

        Buzz was making a buzz joke that buzzed right over Donnie’s head.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Just once, would somebody-like Aldrin- just say fuck it and tell Trump, on camera, “do you know that you’re a complete fucking moron?”/

  • The Green Bastard

    Since we’ve got a fabulous 70s thing going, can I share one of my own collection?https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7c738e4dca7058249feb7721221ee79e530e19b2c9f2cbe57480095f0751d061.jpg

    • HazooToo

      I want it.

      • The Green Bastard

        I was given this awesome vintage Terry. I knew what had to be done.

        Bonus: one friend calls it ‘visually assaulting​’. Haha!

    • Jennifer R

      Love it.

      • The Green Bastard

        Thanks!

    • Suttree

      If I stare at it any longer I am going to have a flashback. :)

    • Raan

      If a bunch of people wear this in a crowd, it’s supposed to protect them from predators.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        While the chevron pattern draws the eye to the middle of the body. Slimming AND camouflage!

    • Rasilom

      It is very atractive, but kind of reminds of the last time I did shrooms and let the drapes talk to me…

      • Sophia

        Did they have anything interesting to say? Did they tell you Comey was hiding in them?

      • tehbaddr

        Drapes, carpet, I never conversed, just watched them move.

    • tehbaddr

      The lower part of the stripes do not converge on the proper area of interest.

  • Nounverb911
  • Marceline

    I’m going to let Pete Souza do the Friday Obama for me.

    https://twitter.com/PeteSouza/status/880469467570032640/photo/1

    • Ryan Denniston

      His butt is ON THE DESK! Clearly he is in league with ISIS through some eleventy dimensional chess game to denigrate the office of Preznit!

    • Ryan Denniston

      Also too, they all have FILES, how is that even fair?

    • beingreleased

      I don’t know, it looks like he might be mansplaing while black.

  • HazooToo

    Topic Suggestion: Weirdest thing you ever found that belonged to your parents? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a237d249628d011869849d373c57ba74396fd506ee2595f97a5cbb466c792b64.png

    • Jenny

      My mother took me thong shopping once. For my stepdad.

      • Panika MCD

        that’s pretty good.

        • Jenny

          Oh the reason why was even better. Ya see, Mom is a large large woman and stepdad is not. 10 year old me was “about his size” so i got to put them on over my clothes. Why she didn’t use his underwear in the drawer for the size, I wouldn’t know.

          I think it has been established that my parents are not that great.

          • Panika MCD

            I was already assuming your step dad was not a large woman.

          • mancityRed6

            when I was about ten, my parents bought me bikini underwear, just like dad had.
            yes, I’m male.

          • Jenny

            Lol!

            My brother discovered some heated sticky lube my parents had. We had a blast rubbing it on our hands and feet. The picture on the bottle was a sexy tiger lady so we knew it was for sex we just had no clue what sex was. Parents were pissed we wasted all their lube.

          • Suttree

            That was around the time that I started wearing boxers. My father always had that speedo thing going on at the pool too.

          • tehbaddr

            Son?

          • tehbaddr

            Hey! There’s nothing wrong with proper manties!

          • mancityRed6

            thankfully I stopped before we had locker room time in gym class
            I was ten

          • tehbaddr

            Hey, you’re about dad’s size try these on WTF!!1!!!!1111!!!!!!!

      • HazooToo

        How do you even fit all of that extra in a thong?!

        • wavicles

          I’m guessing it’s like boobs’n bras.

          • HazooToo

            But bras are made to be pockets!!

          • Panika MCD

            thongs should not require underwires to work.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          A lot of tucking?

          Don’t look at me like that, I just know stuff…

    • mancityRed6

      it was that game of naughty dice. one die had an action to do, the other had a body part to do it on.

      • HazooToo

        Oh! Like “gouge out” and “eyes”?

        • mancityRed6

          no. more like “lick” and “nipples”
          thankfully I was too young to even know what it meant.
          I went back to dressing up my life size Wile E Coyote d…action figure.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Personally I was a Road Runner fan. I had drawn a whole bunch of home brew Road Runners and started a club–I think I was 8?

            It’s great being a kid. If it doesn’t compute or make sense, it’s like, “Whatever…are we there yet?”

          • mancityRed6

            the plush whatever had a bendable metal wire skeleton. I could make it stand up.
            and it was almost as big as me so I dressed it in my clothes and I’d go stand with it in front of my parent’s full length mirror.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Awesome!

          • Angry Red Bird DGAF

            OK. 0_o

          • mancityRed6

            it was pre fire so I was 9 or younger.

    • Panika MCD

      my mom found a pistol in my grandmother’s closet when they moved her into my aunt’s house. no one knew she had it–not the assisted living facility, not any of us, and definitely not the State of TX….oops.

      • HazooToo

        Okay! That’s winning so far.

        • Old town Urbandale

          When my mom and her siblings were cleaning out their parents’ home after Grandma and Grandpa died, they found a little cylindrical metal box, in which Grandma had stored some earrings. Yep, the box originally held rubbers– and I don’t mean overshoes!

    • Jennifer R

      An armature growler for model A pick up trucks. It was at least a decade older than my father.

    • Panika MCD

      on a break from college, this happened. (Prima Momma had been a widow for almost 20 years and never even dated anyone else. had not turned into Prima Momma yet.)

      Mom: Panika, do you and your friends ever masturbate?

      Me: What?! Like together?

      Mom: no, I mean…well, I’ve tried to and I can’t get the hang of it.

      Me: I’m going to give you a GoodVibes catalog and we’re never going to talk about this again.

      *and scene*

      • HazooToo

        Ohhhhhhh Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooddddddddddd you win, you win everything

        • Panika MCD

          well, I did notice you hadn’t answered the question.

          • HazooToo

            Weirdest thing I ever found was the grow-lamps and gardening tubs that used to reside in my first ever bedroom. My Dad used to farm pot in my room. And he gave it up for me. I feel special!

          • Panika MCD

            aw. my family members were never growers, but they all enjoy getting stoned. I have found many stashes.

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        I acted stupid when that question came up. (Loud music hurt my hearing, you know)

    • Bemused Australian

      I found some tabs of acid they’d stashed while I was cleaning. I chided them and pointed out that they’d have been ruined by the summer heat and should have been kept well sealed in the fridge.

      • HazooToo

        You are a good child.

    • Jonny On Maui

      My brother and sister.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      A couple bottles of lube, pretty tame.

      Now grandpa, on the other hand, he had a Japanese “Rising Sun” flag that had a whole bunch of Japanese names on it (I think he said they were the names of soldiers in a unit his Seabee detachment captured), and a jar full of pickled human ears (from soldiers he had killed, IIRC).

      Needless to say they were quickly disposed of after he died.

      • HazooToo

        JEZUS! Okay, pickled human ears beats teaching your Mom to masturbate, you are now the #1 contestant.

        • Panika MCD

          I didn’t actually teach her, but pickled human ears is pretty fucking weird. I would say that my mom and aunts kept a severed finger in their treehouse when they were kids. they called it “the cootie finger”. but it was their uncle’s and it had been broken off in the garage door. pickled human ears is just….yeish!

          • HazooToo

            GYAAAAH!

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yeah. I remember thinking “Most guys came home with a captured pistol, or maybe a couple cans of Japanese rations. How did he get that through when he was discharged?”

  • Sophia
    • HazooToo

      Best take yet.

    • Three Finger Salute

      When you’ve lost Archie Bunker’s favorite newspaper in all of three words, you know you’re a crooked, failing loser.

    • mancityRed6

      no, keep it up.
      they just want you to stop ’cause they’re low energy losers!

      • not_vh

        and get away with it. ordinary people can’t get away with this crap.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Fun fact: Until this post, I had no idea that US Americans came from Miss South Carolina from 2007, which I have thankfully never watched. Luckily, Trump has desensitized me these days. Nice to be on the inside of an inside joke.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f8bdd6784dd71718140173bdbac03b220310ea682b0277ece214e202b2b9fa90.jpg

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Also too

  • bookish
    • not_vh

      is `freedom’ the latent variable?

  • Nounverb911

    And how much is your favorite trumpanzee over paid?

    https://twitter.com/KThomasDC/status/880898343731384320

    • Ryan Denniston

      With or without rubles?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      All of them are overpaid, Katie.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      That’s the “public” book. A sleazy guy like Donnie Two Scoops always has a real ledger laying around somewhere.

    • therblig

      lots of similar numbers, at least the salaries are set by law/regulation. must kill bannon to know that smellyanne makes the same as he does.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ivanka and Jared are overpaid at the stated salaries.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      $179k for Spicey? That’s a bit much for a terrible Melisa McCarthy impersonation, if you ask me.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      I guess you would have to pay more to get good help these days.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Omarosa at $179k. Oh FFS!

  • mancityRed6
    • Jennifer R

      The dark days when one had to have a beard.

      • mancityRed6

        he’s got a chin like Chevy Chase.

        • Jennifer R

          Not what I mean~

    • Ryan Denniston

      Between the left and right, they changed outfits? Was Unisex a thing in the 70s?

      • Jennifer R

        And the coordinated scarves.

        • Ryan Denniston

          Totally missed that, the outfits were too distracting.

          • Jennifer R

            Look in the mirror and take one thing off before you leave should be streatched to mean that one whole outfit.

      • mancityRed6
    • tehbaddr

      Let’s everybody dress up like their fuck puppet!

    • Elendira

      the scarves are the best part of that outfit

    • therblig

      i don’t know why, but this reminded me of shields and yarnell, who were actually quite mesmerizing. skip ahead to about 2:30

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HgX7xmwUc_c

    • Jenny

      You gotta do what it takes to stand out on the dance floor!

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      I don’t understand this. Why?

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Kill them with low flame! Slowly!

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    Just found out that Jared was the one who tried to bigfoot Morning Joe on the Enquirer story. This really is the Trump crime syndicate.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Linky?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Some shit I heard. Actually, I think it was Chris Hayes.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Amateur hour. What, you plan on embarrassing two divorcees who are getting married and have their perfect jobs?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Privileged arrogant people forget peers can’t be bullied like “the help”.

      • Jenny

        Right? How is this even a blackmail type scandal? They’re divorced from former spouses
        Everyone knows they hump all the time, plus they just announced their engagement. Oh no! Very serious trouble here!

        • Panika MCD

          and they appear to be on good terms with said former spouses!

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Trump only approves of sex that is coerced.

        • Apparently, whatever thing they “had” on them was a: fake and b: about Joe.
          My bet it was that intern thing

  • Nounverb911
  • tehbaddr
    • Bemused Australian

      Coin operated horse kick!

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Ren and Stimpy was my fav back in the day.

  • HazooToo

    Alert! They are learning! Our reign of ownership is in it’s final days! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/75b0a79d7d3a5e8bdc14b1fa039d4ad4fea1c18209e5f63b23951bf18c37fde5.png

    • Ryan Denniston

      The Singularity it seems has arrived.

    • mancityRed6
    • tehbaddr

      Don’t be surprised when it goes missing!

    • I’ve only seen the first episode of Zoo, but now you are making me worried that it might be real.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Man, knew this cat who was never fooled.
      “I don’t know what that is, but you’re doing it!”

    • Ryan Denniston

      I was going to make a Trump/Bannon joke, but that cat is too cute to play the role of Trump.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Piper knows where the dot of light comes from, but she wants to chase it anyway.

      Raffi just gave me a look that said, “Do you think I’m stupid?”

      • mancityRed6

        Karl doesn’t even get off the couch, but 15 year old Pippa still goes after it.

      • Katja knows where it comes from, and will wait for the dot to come to her.

    • La forza del resistino

      Don’t let this cat reproduce and pass on the shared memory.

  • HazooToo
    • C4TWOMAN

      I’m not that kinda dog!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Gene Simmons has really let himself go.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I thought he was looking good for his age.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Well, his tongue is still quite dexterous.

    • H0mer0

      that reminds me of Freddy Krueger’s tongue coming out of the phone “I’m your boyfriend now!”

    • therblig

      You’ll do, Lobelia

  • La forza del resistino

    Backup plan for when your babysitter is a no show on Friday night date night.
    https://youtu.be/gcFipWovdak?t=8

    • H0mer0

      [I love those high pitched squeals and musical laughter of infants and toddlers.]

  • Sophia
    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I don’t get it. Can’t Trump just ask Russia to hack the states?

      • That was plan A, but apparently they couldn’t get to all states so this is plan B. I assume plan C is to have Jeff Sessions start suing all the states the refuse.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Access denied.

      • Lori

        That’s the correct answer, so naturally that’s not what Indiana said. On the plus the response is better than I feared–they’re not giving Kobach what he asked for. They’ll hand over the publicly available info only, & per our public records law that doesn’t include even party affiliation. Name, address, & district assignment only.

        • Which he could get with a google search right?

          • shivaskeeper

            Pretty much.

          • Lori

            Yup. My suspicion is that this whole thing is a show designed to make people afraid to register to vote.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Even my beloved Gov. Rick (“Embodiment of Pure Evil”) Scott hasn’t decided whether to comply or not.

        On the one hand, it is would empower Republican voter fraud. On the other hand, it would hand over all my personal information to Vladimir Putin.

        What to do? What to do?

        • I predict all the Republican Govs will fold like a fan and say no because they would be afraid of their own fraud being uncovered.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      The correct answer to the request with the proper attitude has being given by California and Kentucky, which is essentially “sit on it and spin, Kobach.”

      • MS told them to jump in the Gulf XD

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Virginia has been pretty rude toward Donald and Kris, too.

          • VA’s got a long standing tude about the voting thing. Goes back to those dirty Feds sticking their noses all up our Jim Crow.
            Nothing makes a virginian quite as testy as casting shade on their voting methods- except maybe cornhole.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    media “denying America’s women rightful knowledge on what [Pres. Trump] is doing for them on taxes, health care…”

    The media has magically denied American women the ability to search out specific news topics now? Good to know!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c29beb92c2891ab35ed8748fcb1b45a0d4be6d688d42f243f10074ea2d3a3736.jpg

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Shhh…this is too complicated for you and your small lady brain. See if there’s a nice elderly Republican gentleman nearby to explain health care and your vagina to you. There’s a good girl, now run along!

      • subatomic

        I was under the impression that most republican gentlemen were frightened of vaginas or at least very intimidated.

    • Alan

      There, there dear. Don’t worry your pretty little head.

    • tehbaddr

      Hipster Ariel is the worst Ariel, I like the fins and wot not!

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    So I’m reading something by Andrew Sullivan, which was making me all “grrrr…” because he’s talking about how Democrats are going to shoot ourselves in the dick again, because Trump probably did not collude with Russia (BULLSHIT!), but then he wrote this:
    “A short update on Trump’s mental health. I’m not entirely sure if the unraveling is intensifying or if there was anything raveled in the first place. But it’s important to keep stating the obvious. The great difficulty of living with someone who is seriously delusional is that you eventually acclimate to it, find yourself responding to it, and thereby eventually lose any solid sense of reality itself. So let me just say that there is something profoundly unhinged about someone who creates a fake Time magazine cover about himself, and has the photo framed and hanging in several of his properties, and, when this is revealed, refuses to say anything about it. It’s a delusional, absurd form of pathological narcissism and deceit that should, in any sane country, lead to his removal from office. It’s of a pattern with his completely psychotic statements about his inaugural crowds, Obama’s alleged wiretapping, the various health-care plans he has no understanding of, the tweeting “foreign policy” that is fast destroying the credibility of his own secretary of State, the invention of “intelligence” about North Korea, and the simply whack-job, misogynistic attacks on Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough.

    There is no precedent for this behavior in the Oval Office in American history, even in Nixon’s deranged final days. The case for impeachment seems to me, at this point, far less salient than the invocation of the 25th Amendment. If someone this unstable, this delusional, and this unwell cannot be removed from office, who can?”

    I wonder if he realizes he, along with the rest of the GOP, helped create this monster?

    • He will never admit it. We should let Trump sail them over the precipice and not settle for a 25th.
      They’re all fucking guilty as hell

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        They certainly are acting guilty. I still can’t believe Trump was stupid enough to shitcan Comey.

    • not_vh

      actually i’m worried about it too. what if he fenced it enough and left no direct trail? what if he gets away on a technicality? perhaps people around him will all fall, but there is a chance he gets away. and that makes me grumpy.

      • Possible. But I doubt it. His starring staff is loyal, to a point; when their own necks are on the line and he is tossing them under the bus before him, they will turn on him faster than a alt light at a neo nazi rally.

        • not_vh

          i hope so. in that he prolly has not inspired his staff enough to take a bullet for him. lets see.

          • Consider the cast.
            You have Flynn who apparently sold out his own country under oath to not do so in order to make money.
            You think he is not interested in his own skin?
            You got Rince who is only there to keep a leash on the pack; party before all. I’ve have a mind that he is doing all the leaking.
            Then there is Bannon, who’s entire plan is to destroy the government. Do you think he’d take a jail term for the president?
            Of course there is Kush and Ivanka and they’re loyal, right? Like Family? Certainly family would go to jail for you and not just laugh all the way to the bank?
            KaC might take one for the team, but out of all of them anymore, she seems the most opportunistic, the most plotting; Sometimes I think she is just a daft tool, but sometimes I wonder if it isn’t she with the tapes.

          • not_vh

            agree. but i’m trying not to count my chickens before they hatch. as trump would say who knew all this was so complicated? :D

          • True enough!
            I still figure he will resign before it gets anywhere and Pence quietly puts the whole thing away for “the good of the nation” and pardons his dumb orange ass.

        • subatomic

          That is.why I think this is a house of cards administration. Trump inspires no personal loyalty and is petty and vindictive to those he feels have slighted him in the least. I think this is now clear to anyone working for this administration and why there will be an avalanche of people trying to make deals when the wheels start to come off.

          • I figure as well. It is going to come down to two choices for them:
            Either hope he will protect them or at least trust he would destroy them even more than they are already, or make sure they get him first.

            Edit: In retrospect, Julius Caesar was pretty fitting, maybe.

      • shivaskeeper

        Collusion or not, the financial bullshit will end up bringing him down.

    • HazooToo

      No. That would require acknowledging his own personal delusions, and he’s lived with them too long for that to be possible.

      • When he has to confront them, he’s going to implode.
        And he will have to confront them.

    • Pisto75666

      Oh he realizes it, I’m sure. I just don’t think he cares. Like Mika & Joe, they didn’t give a shit about what 45 was doing, until it affected THEM. (Plus there’s no money or ratings in reporting actual news anymore.)

    • Villago Delenda Est

      And since Andrew lives with himself, he knows all about living with someone who is delusional.

    • shivaskeeper

      I hate to say it, but there is the possibility he did not knowingly collude. Right now it appears people around him did, but he may be able to skate on claiming he didn’t know. Right now he seems to have no idea that what he says or Tweets carries any weight at all. Him asking the Russians to find the missing emails on live TV could be an extension of that.

      I’m reasonably sure he was never personally flipped by the Russians as he wouldn’t be able to keep his mouth shut. I’m sure he owes a shit ton of money to various Russian banks and/or mobsters.

      It’s probably not collusion that is going to take him down personally. It’s going to be all kinds of fuckery with finances. Money laundering, shady loans, tax fraud, and other things like that are going to be his downfall.

      As for knowing they created this monster, that’s why they are sort of speaking out now., To avoid the culpability and deflect from the people who are going to be looking at them and asking what the fuck were they thinking?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Malcom Nance talks a lot about how good the Russians are at compromising people without them necessarily even being aware of how thoroughly they’ve sold themselves. It’s not like Trump cut his hand and signed a blood pact to work with Putin. But he owes money, he’s greedy, he’s corrupt as fuck and obsessed with winning, he’s a philanderer. All those things are levers to be exploited.

        • shivaskeeper

          Being exploited is not the same as knowingly colluding. The Russians are extremely good at this sort of thing. He is also easily led and pushed into the course of action someone wants him to take by anyone who will praise him.

          All that is not necessarily collusion. The financials will be his downfall. Also, too I forgot the obstruction of justice bit. I doubt he was trying to protect Flynn due to any personal loyalty as Two Scoops has none, or because he was asked to. He would try to protect Flynn if Flynn knew about some of the shady money.

          • I dunno, Shiva, owing money and doing favors for and being lead/pushed seems like collusion to me.
            But, don’t forget the blackmail of journalists now, assuming Joe has those records XD

          • shivaskeeper

            Collusion like what we have been talking about pretty much has to be knowingly done. Being easily led and manipulated is not a crime. If it was, we couldn’t build enough jail cells to house all the easily led and manipulated.

            Him trying to do favors for Flynn is Obstruction of Justice, not necessarily collusion. It could be both though. Him probably laundering money is illegal, but not collusion to accomplish anything more than enriching himself. Him getting shady loans is not collusion in and of itself. I trust Robert Muller to get to the bottom of it, as of right now, and to figure out what is what.

            That is what I’m saying. Guilty of collusion or guilty of Obstruction is guilty and will lead to his ouster. I personally don;t care which one it is, or even if it’s some other crime.

          • If he knowingly took money from them and knowingly did favors for them, as seems very likely, I think that is all the collusion really necessary.
            IE, trying to get those sanctions lifted/giving back the spy castles/withdrawing from the Paris accord/threatening NATO/whatevers.
            If they find he owes them money and he did all that, he is toast. Possibly even selling out your country toast.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m not sure he’s guilty of colluding with the Russians, either. I do know the AG of New York is investigating his shady “charity” and that he’s also sleazy as all hell. I’m SURE he’s committed some sort of crime at some point. I don’t even know if he’s done anything impeachable, although I believe obstruction of justice is an impeachable offense, but I doubt Republicans have the decency to shitcan him. I have to agree with Al Franken when he says “they may be innocent, but they sure are acting guilty as all hell.”

        • shivaskeeper

          He is guilty of something. Obstruction is for sure impeachable. See Bill Clinton and the GOPer Congress lead by Newt. People around him are guilty I’m pretty sure.

          The bulk of them are acting guilty because they are guilty of something even if it’s not collusion. All that projection they do leads e to believe they are guilty of some if not all the shit they accuse me and you of.

          An investigation like Muller’s tends to follow the evidence. He’s not looking for one thing only. He looking at where the evidence goesa nd who it points too. As more things come out, more things will be looked at.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            It gives me great joy to think of all of these people sitting up at night, wondering what skeletons Mueller will find in their closets. I don’t think a lot of people know that Hillary’s OMG EMAIL SCANDALS!!!! was actually an offshoot of Trey Gowdy poking around in her affairs trying to find a BENGHAZI nugget to hang her with. Most Republicans don’t even know that there was nothing in her emails, the “scandal” was that she had a private email server in her basement. I think Trump is an actual sleazebag, who actually does have stuff to hide. Unfortunately his base of drooling idiots doesn’t seem to mind, and the elected Republicans are spineless unpatriotic assholes, who aren’t going to do shit about anything Trump does. I don’t think he’s going to get impeached, but I’d love to be wrong about that.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Blind pig/acorn. Sullivan is an asshole who occasionally stumbles into basic sentience. WTF is he telling us that we don’t already know and have been saying for a year at least?

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Remember: You can’t spell “Gay Republican” without “self-destructive fool” and a few letters here and there.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      And sustain it with nurturing love.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    The idea that the media, large parts of the media anyway, are covering personal insults about the president

    Actually, Kellyanne, you have this backwards–it’s the personal insults from the POTUS that are being reported on, mainly because they are OTT and beneath the dignity of the office.

    Somehow, I think you know that…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1adfa7fbe09cf45efea6083c431855c1a680749315b7c2541909600ffa8f08b4.jpg

  • Jamoche

    https://consumerist.com/2017/06/30/mississippi-official-tells-trump-election-integrity-commission-go-jump-in-the-gulf-of-mexico/
    Next up on the no voter doxxing: Mississippi
    “They can go jump in the Gulf of Mexico and Mississippi is a great State to launch from,” [ Secretary of State Delbert Hosemann] writes. “Mississippi residents should celebrate Independence Day and our State’s right to protect the privacy of our citizens by conducting our own electoral processes.”

    • Fuckin Mississippi even?
      Sweet.
      Though the cynical part of me is saying that is because there is some real fraud, as in suppression, going on there XD

      • shivaskeeper

        Even Mississippi.

        It’s one thing to claim there was 3-5M illegal votes. It;s a whole nother thing to claim the various Secretaries of States didn’t or couldn’t do their jobs. Demanding all this data is pretty much telling them they suck at what they do and they all fucked it up because they are incompetent and only Two Scoops can fix it for them because they are just sad losers.

        The general suppression and gerrymandering is pretty much legal so I doubt they are worried about that at all.

        • It would tickle me to no end if the only states who comply are the states that went Donnie, and they found voter fraud all right XD
          But it would tickle me more if all 50 said get bent.
          Have any complied as yet?

          • shivaskeeper

            Some of them are only giving what is already open source public records and telling them to fuck on the rest of it. Name, address, and district sort of stuff. No DOB, SSN, party affiliations, military statuses, or any of that shit.

          • Good. Cause they get that shit, minus party, on the tax forms.
            Tell em to ask the IRS.

          • shivaskeeper

            Do you really think Two Scoops or anyone close to him wants to talk to the IRS?

          • I sure hope the IRS is paying attention to the “income” list they put out today XD

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    After all, if Trump hadn’t tweeted about Mika’s face shooting blood at
    him like a Gila Monster (an urban myth, actually — Mika only spits a
    bloodlike substance from poison glands on her neck), then “you’d be
    talking about Russia.”

    Oh, so we agree that the media should stay focused on the political scandal of the century rather than the diversionary hate tweets from Donald. Glad we concur.

    Wait, what?

    /FFS

  • CripesAmighty

    Rachel is positing that Dump is employing the usual distraction tactic at the level of setting the neighbors house afire to distract from the fact that you ate the last piece of pie in the fridge. I’m not buying it. Still think he’s just crude, stupid and nasty with the impulse control of a toddler who loudly farts at the dinner table to make Aunt Mabel jump.

    • shivaskeeper

      Why not both?

      • CripesAmighty

        My point is that the distraction is an incidental (if useful) effect.

      • Sophia

        This is why the Republicans don’t stop him. They are making hay while he distracts

        • Lori

          The GOPers are definitely using him as a screen, but that’s just them being their usual opportunistic selves.

    • Ryan Denniston

      I do miss cable sometimes, However, I can get caught up tomorrow. Meanwhile, I can look for the child slave bases that appear in The Martian.

    • I figured it was a squirrel. It backfired though; accusations of blackmailing the press I think have shut him the hell up for a bit
      Mueller is certainly taking notes

    • Lori

      I agree with Rachel about many things, but not this. I see no evidence whatsoever that Donnie has a plan. I think he’s a stupid, mean, infantile man with no impulse control and no internal mechanisms for coping with being thwarted in any way who is also corrupt AF. The fact that his childish outbursts happen at the same time as revelations of his corruption is purely coincidental, owing entirely to the fact that there are so many outbursts and so much corruption that they’re bound to overlap.

      I think Rachel can’t accept this because she loves politics and loves this country so much that and accepting the true nature of the man currently occupying the oval office would cause her to have an existential crisis, or at least a 4 day migraine.

      • C4TWOMAN

        You are probably right, but even if Rachel agrees, she doesn’t gain anything fr saying so, and in fact gives the opposition ammo.

        Now if the Dems had a majority and she could count on back-up, maybe she would be more blunt.

        I’ve been in an online conflict where we did something similar: We knew this older woman was a grifter, even if she had “issues”. But if we said that, the troll brigade would have descended like fury: “How dare you attack this poor lady—!” etc etc.

        Instead we were like, “This poor woman has been caught up in this scam….poor thing.”

        It paid off. There was bigger fish to fry–like nailing the person running the scam she was fronting.

        My .02.

    • yyyaz

      Half of one, six dozen of the other…

  • Jennifer R

    Today’s mass shooter was charged with sexual assault in 2004 and pled down. Most recently the early news is saying he had been let go for sexual harassment from the hospital.

    • Annnddddd there it is again.
      Fucking hell. Fuck you, America, fuck you, NRA. FUCK YOU

      • Jennifer R

        Felony sexual assault with a lifetime ban on fire arms pled to misdemeanor unlawful imprisonment and community service.

        • Pft, sexual assault, was probably a woman. Was she wearing a skirt? Out without a keeper? Obvs asking for it, no reason to destroy a young/old/middle aged man’s life

          • C4TWOMAN

            He has such bright future!

          • Has/had/might have. Need to cover all the poor mislead men now.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Guy like that, we wouldn’t even let through the door even if he did put it down on his application. How the hell did a hospital think he was a good hire?

          • Jennifer R

            Doctor shortage?

    • C4TWOMAN

      Sounds like a charmer!

    • HazooToo

      Nooooo, so you’re saying that being gentle with people who are hostile to society DOESN’T end well?! I’m shocked!

    • tehbaddr

      And that’s why background checks are an infringement on the the right to harbor a shooty weapon and kill someone!

    • ariel_gee_398

      Boys will be boys. It was probably just locker room talk.

  • The Wanderer

    Zut! Toronto Argonauts just took the lead over the British Columbia Lions, 15-10 in the 4th quarter.

    • Argonauts? Really? Like the dudes who all died except Jason?

    • tehbaddr

      Which sporstball thing is this?

  • mancityRed6

    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/plaidkings.jpg
    “I’d tell them they won the internet today but they can’t hear me over the sound of panties dropping….”
    *not my caption*

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Overpriced and overglared!

    • tehbaddr

      Well if you’re going to wear pajamas…I haven’t owned any since I was an adolescent.

      • mancityRed6

        I…uh…I don’t think they’re pajamas.
        I think you’re supposed to go out in public like that.
        you don’t wear those heels just around the house.

        • tehbaddr

          So, for going out to Plato’s Retreat?

    • not_vh

      these were known to make people confess to crimes they did not commit. it took a 8-0 supreme court ruling, with one justice abstaining, to outlaw these.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • msanthropesmr

      I think it might be easier, at this time, to simply cite the laws they haven’t broke.

      • CripesAmighty

        The inspection sticker on ‘the Beast’ is up to date (?)

        • Lori

          Yes, but only because it’s not the responsibility of a tRump appointee. Civil service FTW.

        • yyyaz

          Too bad it isn’t rated to haul Lard-Ass Orange’s avoirdupois.

  • HazooToo
  • Angela Ruzzo

    I have been having fun re-watching “Prime Suspect” with Helen Mirren (1991-1994). No cell phones, no PCs, no DNA, no security cameras, no Facebook and no terrorists. I had almost forgotten what it was like.

    • CripesAmighty

      Great show.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Looks like Red and Blue states can agree: Fuck off, you fucking assholes

    • mancityRed6

      Kansas, his own damn state, won’t even give him all the info he wants.
      born to fail.

      • La forza del resistino

        He couldn’t provide adequate ID to get the voter info?

        • mancityRed6

          apparently our publicly available data doesn’t include SS numbers.
          imagine that.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Leave it to True Conservatives to take a states’ rights out of the hands of states.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Been true for a long time. See “Fugitive Slave Act” for an example.

        • Ryan Denniston

          Reminiscent of a time we might relive!

      • Be fair, there are quite a few died in the wool conservative states there also giving this the finger

    • Jenny

      Eh. Open records laws. But ssn at least in Texas is confidential.

    • not_vh

      all the states i’ve ever lived in barring MI. wtf is MI’s problem?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        DeVos family.

      • La forza del resistino

        Detroit is always a convenient punching bag

      • If they think the militia nuts up there are going to go along with those dirty Feds having their info, they are in for a rude surprise.
        I expect MI to join the fuck off crowd

    • yyyaz

      Clutch my pearls, Annabelle, the ratfuckers in AZ are jumping ship.

    • CripesAmighty

      Don’t congratulate em too hard–there’s some self-interest at play here. Think how, in republican primaries, the anti-gubermint-they’re-listening-to-my-phone-calls-thru-a-chip-in -my-fillings crowd’s gonna react to the politician who handed all their personal info to the Feds.

    • yyyaz

      What’s up with Orygun not being on the list?

    • Suttree

      I figured Chris Christie’s lackey Kim Guadagno would give it up. She’s running for gov this year. I’ve got a good feeling about Murphy winning though.

    • Rags

      thanks, michigan

  • Jenny
    • not_vh

      she’s a she?

      • Jenny

        Yup that is my girl, Pancakes

        • mancityRed6

          I don’t miss mowing the lawn, picking up poop, or the ex. but I do miss playing with the pups.

          • Jenny

            She just finished chasing a bird out of the yard so she was pretty excited with herself.

          • Look mom! I chased a bird! I chased it good! HA HA BIRD! Look how good I am!

          • mancityRed6

            it was weird. we had tomatoes and peppers but the squirrels ate them.
            with the dogs in the yard all day we didn’t have squirrels but nothing grew.
            and they missed seeing the rabbits who lived under the shed so many times it was laughable.

          • Solution: Fence in garden area, let dogs run around it.
            No squirrels and things grow ^.^

          • mancityRed6

            it was, but when we got the second pup and left them at home (with dog door to the garage and dog house for the second), the cattle dog would just lay on the couch in the garage all day.

          • Jenny

            What you needed was a Waffles Rabbit Deterrent! Jack rabbits don’t visit this yard, and she darn well remembers where she saw them when they did. She also checks every storm drain because once she saw a cat in one. No small crevices go unchecked! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/df04512fec7430123e7329be6054972e51bb24bf67099ef5f03f3b7fd541a5d8.jpg

          • mancityRed6

            there were a couple of convenient holes in the fence the rabbits could go through. at least they stopped leaving their kids in the yard.

    • Suttree

      Who’s got a big fat head?

  • HazooToo
  • mancityRed6

    http://www.plaidstallions.com/toylove/creamsicle.jpg
    ever feel like you’re just in the way?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You know, I’d swear this is stuff from the 70’s if it wasn’t for the URL.

    • Think I had that Ken

    • yyyaz

      At least they won’t mind when I offer to buy her a drink.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      She’s just escorting the gentlemen to their room. At least, that’s what it looks like to me.

    • Are we sure that isn’t just one of those unfortunate prom pictures someone is always trying to get me to click on?

      • mancityRed6

        the only memory I have from junior prom _is_ pictures. that’s all we did. and then I went out with the college girl and practiced my…umm…something.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Those clothes are in the way, fer sure. I’ll raise you two chinchilla wraps. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/24b0ad8928473e7955047fd221e7ffe942dafd5d090e15c308f23bf0a8fcbc82.jpg

      • Bath robe?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Swear to god that was something Apollo Creed wore in Rocky II.

  • Sometimes I am very proud of my home state:
    “This entire commission is based on the specious and false notion that there was widespread voter fraud last November,” Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe (D) said in a statement. “At best this commission was set up as a pretext to validate Donald Trump’s alternative election facts, and at worst is a tool to commit large-scale voter suppression.”

    • Terry makes me happy in my happy bits :D He’s a bit of an all right.
      Doggish but seems to be there when it counts

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Very nice! Go Terry!

    • jowgajen

      This request dovetails nicely inside of Republican’s fear of big Federal government and Democrats desire to not let Trump fuck us all over.

      • Doesn’t it though?
        Telling the rubes for years how Big Brother was coming and Don’t Trust Feds!
        And they think this is gonna fly?
        lolz

    • Lori

      I’m impressed. I figured Va would be one of the states that would hand over the goods, no questions asked. Good on them for being less evil than I thought.

      • *squints at you*

        • Lori

          Why? It’s not like Va hasn’t had it’s share of voter suppression fun times recently.

  • HazooToo
    • mancityRed6

      wait, it stops a marriage?

      • Occasionally ;-)

        • mancityRed6

          get me Obama and tell him to bring his time machine!

    • I wonder if we rebranded this as an antiabortion drug, republicans would be in favor of it.

      • Lori

        No. Republicans think birth control pills cause abortions.

        I’m not making that up, although FSM knows I wish I was.

        • Some republicans do, some don’t. Also some think IUD cause spontaneous abortions, others are smarter. I was mostly joking, but if we could convince one of idiot leaders to believe birth control is abortion prevention maybe, just maybe he (and it would have to be a he, because republicans don’t listen to women unless they are echoing men) would convince some of them. Yes, I am a dreamer.

  • Wild Cat

    She has an alt_shitter: Her stupid mouth.

  • HazooToo
  • mancityRed6

    last one tonight:
    http://www.plaidstallions.com/images/catpucker.jpg
    so much why.
    why the cat?
    why the elastic in the legs?
    oh, dear lord, why?

    • HazooToo

      But we’re still hungry!

      • mancityRed6

        see you at 4 AM?

        • HazooToo

          Quite possible! I’m out of sleeping pills.

    • La forza del resistino

      Yeesh. To think I could have had a career in fashion.

    • Lori

      That cat looks familiar. I think it was a thing back in the day, but I can’t remember why. There is no explaining the elastic.

  • BMW

    Keep in mind, this is the same souless spin-machine who used to shoehorn the latest rumors about Hillary Clinton into every policy discussion that reporters and interviewers tried to have with her last summer and fall.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Jamoche
      • Royal Ugly Dude

        It burns… when he pees

    • Ryan Denniston

      Not contracting STDs was his personal Vietnam. Maybe he didn’t escape the 70’s unscathed.

    • Vecchioivan

      Imagine being a psychiatrist and having Donald Trump walk into walk into your office one day . . .

      • *hangs up gone fishin’ sign*

        • Lori

          Or puts a down payment on that sweet boat he’s had his eye on. Donnie has “3X/week for life” written all over him.

          • Donnie does not pay people though

          • Lori

            If Donnie went to the shrink he’d presumably be there because he wanted treatment. His problems are deep and wide—total 3X/week for lifer. If you’re not billing to insurance shrinks demand payment at the time of service, so you can’t stiff them for more than one 50 minute hour.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Amica Insurance commercial has Trump-speak…

    “Our reputation for customer service is enormous.”

    Enormously what, they don’t say.

    • Every time I see an Amica commercial, my brain sings the Amigo jingle. Which is the slinky jingle but more annoying somehow.

  • bluicebank

    My ’74 VW Bug is shimmying bad at 30-50 mph, almost as if it’s channeling the political state of affairs. Thanks, Trump.

    (It’s the steering dampener, said a wise man, which I’ll switch out this weekend. Either that or the steering arm bushing, which don’t grow on trees. Thanks, Bush.)

    • msanthropesmr

      They all do that.

    • Suttree

      You just have to do 20 or 60, my bus was the same way. I just wasn’t positive of where it did it because my speedometer didn’t work.

      • bluicebank

        Or steer back-and-forth in the lane at the problem speeds, which I had to do.

        I imagine the motorists behind me must have marveled that I was the most disciplined drunken driver they’ve ever seen.

    • tehbaddr

      It’s really Obama’s fault!

    • whitroth

      A lady that I lived with for a few years in the mid/late seventies and I had the same thing with a VW type 3 squarback – it’s the dampner. The speed is a dead giveaway.

      • bluicebank

        That’s what John Muir says (not the environmentalist, but the guy who wrote the “How to Keep Your Volkswagen Alive” masterpiece. He says that if you get a shimmy starting at 45 mph (mine started at 40 mph), “9 times of out 10 it’s the steering dampener.”)

        So I’m going with the old dude and today bought a new dampener. Not hard to install, even for a lazy man like myself. Hope it’s not the steering arm bushing, because I’ve never replaced one of those.

  • Sophia

    Seems Christie is having a problem today.

    Top Democrat open to another deal with Christie to spare N.J. a government shutdown

    http://www.nj.com/politics/index.ssf/2017/06/prieto_dems_will_consider_sick_pay_reform_to_reach_1.html

    • Suttree

      So he can fuck with Blue Cross Blue Shield over something. IDK I got called into PT before I could finish it.

  • Jim Gormley

    Sooo…the WH salaries list is published today. Gary Cohn gets a mere $30,000/annum. “Cohn told POLITICO his $30,000 salary was to cover the cost of health insurance.” I. Can’t. Even.

    • lolz.
      Does anyone think that list is not full of shit?

      • Sophia

        I think ProPublica is working on their own

    • Jim Gormley

      Let me reply to myself. Fuck these fuckety fuckers and all of their fuckery. I’ll be here all week, I appreciate your indulgence. Try the veal.

      • Ryan Denniston

        So glad they made Gmen get Obamacare.

    • Suttree

      I didn’t know health insurance covered daily massages with a happy ending.

      • Jim Gormley

        Hmmm…I might…no…cancel that. Spank me sideways.

  • HazooToo
    • Villago Delenda Est

      I’m not the puppet, you’re the puppet!

    • La forza del resistino

      free peanuts. strings attached.

    • tehbaddr

      Now there’s a lost art!

  • Sophia
    • Ryan Denniston

      Trump was admitting it wasn’t predisentiall?

    • HazooToo

      All he cares about is whether he looks good. That is it.

      • Trump doesn’t need to worry. He never looks good. In any way, shape, or form.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        “Did I look good or the best? I think I looked the best. Bigly gooder. Everybody says so.”

        • Sophia

          Bigly gooder. LOL!

    • bookish

      We think you’re an asshole. Sir.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        All the upfists

    • Dear lord. Asking your staff what they thought of your tweet is not presidential either you stupid fucking tool!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I heard about this on the CNN. Apparently Trump was walking around saying “I know it’s not presidential, but weren’t the tweets great?”

      • Ahhh that makes more sense. Not “How did I do” but “confirm how great I am”

    • jesterpunk

      “Hey guys did you see how cool I looked picking on that nerd?”

    • tehbaddr

      Why ask the staff? You’re the President dumb ass!

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Desperately searching for validation from subordinates, eh? That’s a sign of strength!

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Isn’t this voter request from Kobach like against the 4th amendment or something?

    • HazooToo

      I don’t know how it isn’t.

    • I’d have thought so. Should probably wait for the legal scholars to weigh in though

    • jesterpunk

      Kobach thinks that Kobach is asking for too much information that the federal government doesnt need and Kobach denied Kobach’s request for that information in Kansas.

      http://www.kansascity.com/news/politics-government/article159113369.html

      But really most of it (except the SSN) is already publicly available.

      • BMW

        I am going to steal your description verbatim because it is perfect.

        • jesterpunk

          I got the link earlier from someone else but its funny that he told himself to fuck off for asking for too much information.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      So the goal here is to turn this list over to the Russians so they can hack and purge the voter rolls, right?

    • bluicebank

      Latest count is 25 states have told Kobach to fuck off.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Did any of the states use those exact words? I’d frame that letter.

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      If he was asking for this kind of data from a hospital, he’d be in violation of HIPAA.

    • yyyaz

      Depends whether SCOTUS says it is.

  • Suthrnboy

    Leave her alone!

    After her horrible accident when her microwave accidentally turned on while she had her head inside of it looking for the surveillance device, you can’t expect her to form a coherent thought.

    Y’all are just piling on the “poorly educated.”

    • …ew.
      Does that mean Rump loves her?

      • Suthrnboy

        In his “grabby” sort of way, yes. Its likely.

    • Ryan Denniston

      Don’t fuck with reality, you’ll just muck it up.

  • Sophia
    • jowgajen

      Get back in the ring before you get disqualified!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Hit ‘im with a folding chair or admit it’s fake!

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      OH MAH GAWD, KING! LOOK AT THE CARNAGE!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Raan
    • Ryan Denniston

      What are we looking at, 2 dragons in Skyrim? The spawn engine in Skyrim is bullshit, especially if you hold off on killing that first dragon at Western Watchtower.

      • Raan

        Two dragons that are attacking a giant outside of Dawnstar.

        It should be fine though, I have a mod that gives me a flintlock musket.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ryan Denniston

      He needs a foil. Because he cannot stand on his own.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Pence was supposed to be the straight man but Pence is no Bud Abbott.

        • Three Finger Salute

          The words “Pence” and “straight man” don’t belong in the same sentence.

    • The president. Of the united states. Is blocking citizens.
      Because they are saying mean things about him.

  • tehbaddr
    • jesterpunk
    • Dude stop ruining my meals with that picture. Just send it directly to Trump each day.

    • La forza del resistino

      Presidential pantyline issues were something the Founders never considered.

      • tehbaddr

        Grandpa mantie lines!

        • Jenny

          That isn’t a mantie, it is a diaper.

          • tehbaddr

            Big old Grandpa Manties!

    • Suthrnboy

      Santa’s evil twin on his day off?

    • Ryan Denniston

      The horror. The horror.

    • biologydave

      And there is the goal for the Presidential Fitness Award. Stay classy!!!

    • Everrett Fanuelli
    • Mehmeisterjr

      I am incompetent at all sports but, Holy Mother, Jesus, and Joseph, if I was hauling around all that junk in the trunk, I would do it at midnight with the lights turned off.

    • Moebym Reborn

      That’s…not very attractive. And not good form, either.

      • tehbaddr

        Well, truth be told, he never had either, on or off the court!

        • Mehmeisterjr

          He’s smiling because he gets to cheat, just like he gets to cheat in golf, real estate and the election.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Once again, I cannot unsee this.

      God will get you for that.

      • tehbaddr

        There is no god, may this fester in the minds of all!

    • Raan
  • I would love it if some governor wrote back saying, “We’ll release that information as soon as you release your last 15 years of tax returns.”

  • HazooToo

    There is a very bleak fog settling over America these days. Sometimes it is hard to see the beauty in life. You need someone to lift you above the fog, so you can see the stars. You need a Carl. Find your Carl. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3b2d635ea253768cce9d5841887c3fbf01fcea9ff34f726c4e0d1404c9135828.png

    • not_vh

      aww

  • Suthrnboy
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Shoto
  • Michael R
  • MarsNeedsWomen

    …And now Rachel is saying more people from the Trump campaign involved in trying to secure Clinton e-mails. Guess we’ve had our drop.

  • HazooToo
    • pussygrabber in chief

      I’ve got one of those, too! She crazy.

      • HazooToo

        Loud cats are amazing!

    • C4TWOMAN

      “What babe?”

      • TJ Barke

        The babe with the power.

      • HazooToo

        (THANK YOU) The babe with the power!

        • TJ Barke

          Too slow!

          • HazooToo

            I love you!

          • TJ Barke

            What is; A phrase a woman has never said to me.

          • HazooToo

            That is incomprehensible to me, because you are awesome!

          • TJ Barke

            I’m really not.

          • Well, not when you go and argue with a girl.
            First lesson: We are always right, even when proven wrong, because reasons and things.
            Except when we admit we are wrong, in which case, wait for it.

          • HazooToo

            I wish I could change your mind. You’re funny and intelligent and honest, and I love your company here.

          • TJ Barke

            Yeah, well in person I’m weird and abrasive.

          • HazooToo

            Me too. And I don’t tend to leave the house unless I must, because people-in-person are almost impossible to communicate with. I don’t think I’ve ever been crazy about a ‘normal’ person! And they don’t like me! But that’s fine. Weird and Abrasive is ten times better than Fake and Lying To Your Face.

          • TJ Barke

            That plus social anxiety means alone forever.

          • HazooToo

            It can. But there are a few openings if you have a safe place you can connect with other people and let yourself just exist. Like here. You don’t have to get your hopes up, but I suggest letting people like you.

        • C4TWOMAN

          “What power?”
          “The power of Voodoo!..”
          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6DJmp21vcQ

    • SayItWithWookies

      My cat only knows one trick: yell for food.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • aaannnddd then we would get Pence. With no investigation stink on him.
      No thanks, Mueller needs to work some first

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson
      • II Gosala

        Pence is bad.

        Trump is corrupt, probably a traitor and possibly medically incompetent.

        It is wrong to spare Trump because you’re afraid of pence

        • Except for the medically incompetent thing, Pence is all of that also.
          And who said spare? I said let the man do his job and actually get them.

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        Pretty sure that Pence is a person of interest in Mueller’s investigation, Jen.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Yeh, if Trump goes down, Pence goes with him, imo.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Whatever needs to happen, when Trump goes, Pence goes too. I suppose that means letting Mueller do his magic.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Removing Donald from office won’t stop the investigation. Dense isn’t out of the woods, nor is Ryan or McConnell.

        • shivaskeeper

          This is correct.

          • In a perfect world yes. But you forget, the president can fire the investigator.
            And with no dirt on Pence, that will not hurt him at all. Especially if he does it to “heal” the country and all that.

          • shivaskeeper

            He can if he replaces the current Attny General and assistant Attny General who is the one who can do the firing. By the time that shit gets sorted out it’ll be time for the midterms.

          • Annddd nothing has changed re: suppression, and Dems still do not in droves do midterms, and they will be all double disappoint there was no trial and eh anyway does not affect me personally….
            Don’t get me wrong, I hope you are correct. But I have the sneaky suspicion that there is sure as hell a reason Pence is being all quiet about all of this.

          • shivaskeeper

            Of course there is. He’s just trying to stay out of the spotlight and not draw attention to himself to not look guilty. Personally, I don’t think he is guilty of actual collusion either, but I think he knew about some, if not most of it, and looked the other way.

            Also there is the fact that typically the VP does not have much of a role in any of the day to day stuff or decision making. Pres Obama and VP Biden were exceptionally close, but that is not the normal relationship. It’s just what we got used to.

          • Well, probably because Bill and Al had the same thing, and Darth Cheney was the president for all intents and purposes. It’s actually rare to us anymore for a VP to be just a Quayle XD

            Question: If he knew about the collusion, does that not make him also implicit, especially if he did not report it the second he took his oath, as demanded by the oath?

          • shivaskeeper

            If he knew and said nothing he would be guilty as fuck. I replied to you up thread as well. What he knew and when he knew it are probably what he is being looked at for the hardest.

            Edit: You meant complicit.

      • shivaskeeper

        Agreed about Muller doing his thing. I doubt he can be bullied, bought, or turned aside.

        I hear this or similar sentiments a lot. Two Scoops has to go. But then we are stuck with Pence. Pence has to go with him, but then we are stuck with Ryan. Then Hatch, then Tillerson, then Mnuchin, then Mattis, then Sessions. On and on down the line.

        Currently the only one in the order not eligible who would be skipped if it got down that far is Elaine Chao as she is not a natural born citizen.

        At some point we have to be able to say fuck it, he’s got to go, and we’ll deal with the next asshole as needed.

        • He does have to go, but I don’t want him skating on an insanity defense, if you dig ;)
          Also too, Ryan is only next if 18 doesn’t unseat his chicken ass.

          • shivaskeeper

            I can dig it. Him skating on insanity. or having Alzheimers, or tertiary syphilis is besides the point. The investigation will not stop if Pence moves up before it;s completed. What he knew and when will still be the questions of the day for him, but the stakes for him will be higher.

          • I hope you are right, but I fear another Ford Pardon in the making

          • Doug Langley

            Bear in mind the pardon destroyed Ford’s career once and for all. And he was way nicer than Pence.

          • shivaskeeper

            Two Scoops isn’t going to jail. If he is impeached he would be removed from office and them subject to whatever criminal charges come from the investigation.

            I think it’s forgone that he gets pardoned or allowed to plea down to a $20 fine.

            FFS, I hope I’m right. It sucks being an optimist sometimes.

        • Rags

          Not sure. D’s are needed to boot 4-5. They can negotiate terms including finding a mutually acceptable replacement for pence

      • Yr. Gma

        We’ll get Pence no matter what, the only question is for how long.

  • Shoto
  • pussygrabber in chief

    Can’t let Pride Month pass without this:

    https://youtu.be/U85U3dPuiR4

  • HazooToo

    This one is for our beloved Wonkette writers, moderators, and Editrix.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/04144d699d02eb1aa90edafd56041ffb7a14eb09913f148120c0d9a85e8d28ab.png

  • II Gosala
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    As opposed to the suspicion you assholes are breeding by asking for it in the first fucking place?

    https://twitter.com/lrozen/status/880927754790764545

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      So many states have refused, it makes the compliant ones look suspicious.

    • Jamoche

      Seriously, that weekend I binge watched The Untouchables TV series was awesome prep for this administration.

    • SayItWithWookies

      Why, the innocent states have nothing to fear, do they?

    • ariel_gee_398

      Nice free and fair elections with secure voter data you got there. Be a shame if anything happened to them…

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Yeah. I suspect California will stick with its “fuck you.”

      • Thinkin MS might do a double fuck you on top of their gulf jumping request

    • Sophia

      Suspicion is already there. We’re suspicious of what the fuck you’re up too.

    • jesterpunk

      Hey Kobach, make you a deal. You give me your SSN, your mothers maiden name, bank account info and pin number and I will think about giving you my voter info.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      “Breed suspicion” in the same way that the Dutch did by hiding Anne Frank.

  • Raan
    • Jennifer R

      Did you find the GECK yet? That water chip won’t solve all your problems…

    • You kilt them?????

  • Fartknocker

    In today’s installment of why I hate GOPs who are Christians I give you the “Fuck The Separation of Church and State so churches can use the pulpit to preach for their candidates:”
    https://www.voanews.com/a/republican-measure-would-let-churches-back-political-candidates/3923699.html https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6629e12358f45b35fbbafd403630ec3a9ecd6f8451bd4e068fa1221b5827dba4.jpg

    • Wild Cat

      What a greedy little lying Calvinist closet queen.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Vile shitstain.

      • Wild Cat

        Can you think of a better symbol of the US’s decline into absolute greed and stupidity?

        • yyyaz

          The Hideous One currently leaving a permanent stench in the White House?

    • not_vh

      it’s always about jesus. it’s like whether the other person comes or not doesn’t even matter.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Heeheehee. Phrasing.

    • HazooToo

      I mean, truly horrible people, but did they actually come up with that quote? Please tell me they did. Please tell me that’s real.

      • I am curious if they mean the same Jesus guy who said “Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s”

    • Jesus comes first? Rather selfish of him….

      • Count Awesome

        It’s a race to the finish and he ALWYAS cums in first.

        • You know, thinkin about the JC I was raised on, I bet he would sure as heck make sure his partner came about a hundred fold before he himself.
          Sort of selfless like that. The whole washing people’s feet, feeding them, dying in agonizing horror for them thing……

      • Poly_Ester

        which is why he was never popular with the womens.(sic)

      • Mehmeisterjr

        Mock all you like, but He would never ejactoolate. I have it straight from Joel Osteen’s mouth.

    • Wild Cat

      ‘Is that cum in your dentures or are you just happy to see me?”

    • ariel_gee_398

      Not likely, given that Joel appears to be part beaver.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      That’s assuming you’re in a bukake session with both, Satan and Jesus. I thought Christianistas didn’t do threesomes. I guess you learn something we every day.

      • Right? He is saying basically that you suck Jesus’ Dick.
        I mean, it is right there

      • biologydave

        Shine a UV light on that shirt and it would glow like an hourly rate motel mattress .

      • whitroth

        Old Pagan saying: the Christians have been waiting 2,000 years for their God’s Second Coming. our Goddess has come twice tonight, already.

        • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

          Yup. Christians are morons.

    • Suttree

      Because they crack down on right wing churches all the fucking time. These fuckers just want one more way to funnel money to their candidates.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Rick Warren was on Doctor Oz awhile back promoting his Jesus freak diet book. Doctor Oz asked him what his favorite health food snack was.

      He said he liked to munch on fruits and nuts.

      Does a Freudian slip count as a wardrobe malfunction?

    • Sophia

      Satan is working through you as you try to cram your bullshit down my throat you asshole

    • Count Awesome

      I think I saw something like that on pornhub courtesy of kink dot com.

    • Mehmeisterjr

      Hmm, that’s an interesting way of putting it.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This, my friends, is the dictionary definition of “oleaginous”

    • Jon Sussex

      What I get out of this is that Joel is a spitter.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Wild Cat

      They’ll walk, be revered, get book deals, go on Colbert. Rinse and repeat.

    • oooo wonder if Kellydear will be all huffy that the sexist media is sexistly refusing to talk about her good work?

    • biologydave

      I can’t help but think of Trump’s statement to Russia during the debates about finding the emails and being “rewarded”. News like this casts it in a more sinister light.

  • HazooToo
    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Canine love handles.

    • C4TWOMAN

      God, I forget that genetic condition. My ex had it. Not so bad if it’s mild, but serious forms can be degenerative.
      EDIT: looks like Ehlers Danlos:
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ehlers%E2%80%93Danlos_syndrome

      • HazooToo

        Well, that was an interesting page! Is the skin on your neck supposed to be stretchy? Kinda hoping that’s normal.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Well, it is possible to get a similar effect if one loses a lot of weight in a short amount of time. I had a cat with racoon-like, loose skin–we speculated he’d been a fat shut in at one point. But that was around his middle. I don’t think the skin on the face and joints is normally that stretchy. Obviously I’m not an expert…

          My ex had a very rubber face–he could pull his cheeks out at least an inch. I have very healthy skin but I can’t pull it out at all, for comparison.
          He had the hyper joint thing too, but it was mild. I suspect when dogs have this, it’s rarely as debilitating as for humans. If it’s your dog, talk to a vet.

          • HazooToo

            Not my dog, but possibly my neck. I don’t know whether it’s THAT stretchy or not, and I don’t have hyper mobile joints, but I do have a habit of tugging on my skin.

          • C4TWOMAN

            If you’ve never had other health complications, I wouldn’t worry about it. Could be just stretching your own skin. ;)

            OTOH if you think something else more serious on that page might apply to you, ask a human vet about it.

            =^-^=

          • HazooToo

            <3 Thank you. You're my favorite Catwoman. Michelle Pfeiffer is #2.

          • C4TWOMAN

            You’re so sweet….but, but what about Julie Newmar? O-o

            Kay its late and this kittycat must turn in.
            Night all.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Bedding down outside of Bismarck, North Dakota. I am tired.

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Go to a local pastry shop and buy a Bismarck. It must be done.

    • Vecchioivan

      Rest. Nameste.

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    In keeping with the earlier 70s theme, I give you “Fly Guy”!

    https://youtu.be/BWNQTqMkezc

    • Suttree

      That was on the other night. Yes I watched it!

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    This one was hard to spin even for Kellyanne. Try again, bitch.

  • Jennifer R
    • HazooToo

      First I ever heard of furries was in a sexualized way. But it was also through my closest friend, who WAS a furry, just not the full-on fur-suit kinda guy. So I’ve always seen it as something sexual, but not really as something to be hated, and I’ve read a few well written furry lemon fics. I could imagine the hate coming from people who think of it as bestiality, but the other justifications for hate in that article feel strange to me.

      • Jennifer R

        My experience is that the fandom is mostly queer, and like any escapism there is a lot of sex involved.

        • They’re generally quite open and accepting, however. Sort of naive in a way like that.

          • Jennifer R

            Anthrocon donates to animal charities local to their host city. I know many who donate their time doing work at hospitals as well. It’s hard to find people to be hospital clowns who aren’t trying to Jesus people up.

          • Jennifer R

            On the topic of Naive though. Foxler (yes it means that) once met up with other non gay non furry Nazis. They kicked his ass and robbed him.

        • HazooToo

          My fandom is the personification of entire countries, and pretty much ALL of them are queer and have a ton of sex, so I don’t really have room to look down on any other fandom for being sexy.

          • Jennifer R

            That reminds me of that manga where the characters are all the WWII powers in high school. I’m not even making a joke This Is A Thing.

            Also that sounds like a blast and a half, is there a newsletter I might browse?

          • HazooToo

            That was probably the same thing, actually! The thing is called Hetalia, and it was originally a manga, then an anime. Here is a wikithing. I have diverged from the main fandom to my own private paradise with the best roleplayer I have ever met, and we play France and the UK primarily.

            http://hetalia.wikia.com/wiki/Hetalia_Archives

          • Jennifer R

            Yup! That is it!

          • HazooToo

            I thought so! The characters are much more fun and interesting when you think of them in a more serious light.

          • Three Finger Salute

            The Polandball thing?

          • HazooToo

            No, the Hetalia thing. Much more peopley!

        • C4TWOMAN

          My impression is they’re mostly female–which I know is incorrect. I think girl furries feel more comfortable waving their freak flag in public–ears, and especially tails.

          • Jennifer R

            Would say that true enough. Ears and tails are still basically assessories and girls are socially accepted to wear more and farther out there than boys. I mean outside of a con not sure how many masculine furs I know would wear a shirt or ears.

        • whitroth

          Well… no. As I understand it, early on, it was a way for teenagers to say to their folks, “it’s only furry animal comics”, and the parents wouldn’t look in, and see the nudity and sex.

          It’s expanded. I have a good friend, and he and his daughter are furries. (Ah, family bonding! But then, last week, one of my daughters and I went to a Dead & Co concert….)

          • Jennifer R

            Yeah some friends posted some father daughter photos from the convention this weekend. But there is still a fair bit of sex and queer politics in the fandom.

    • Panika MCD

      I thought it was because it started out as a niche sex thing…

      • Jennifer R

        Mmm niche sex thing.

    • Panika MCD

      okay…got half way through and as a word nerd–I just can’t. limiting the word “nerd” to those who have fetishes about areas of pop-culture I can’t abide by. those are geeks. those in the computer industry are still geeks, but not for much longer as that area of science is getting to the point where it’s no longer a new area of study. but I’m not nerdy about any of the things he mentioned in his nerd hierarchy–yet I’m a nerd nonetheless. limiting the word in the way that they are is part of the reason we have such a backlash against the educated and why there’s such a deep divide between academics and more blue collar professions–though if you really talk to people, most of us are nerdy about something. if they want to dress up like animals, that’s fine, but I would hope–knowing that we have a powerful concentration of nerds here in the non-comments, some of whom participate in furry culture–that those who are not costume nerds have richer lives than that and are nerdy about other things, too.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    “But you don’t understand! My FIL gets so upset!!! Please just say you’re sorry this one time and he’ll leave you alone!!!!!”

    https://twitter.com/gabrielsherman/status/880827671730692098

    • Sophia

      Hmm. Seems Jared’s negotiating skills may need a little tweaking

      • Mehmeisterjr

        What are you talking about? He settled that whole Middle East thing, thanks to his commanding James Earl Jones-y voice.

      • jesterpunk

        Jared is a master negotiator, just look at the bigly deal he made for 666 5th avenue.

        • C4TWOMAN

          Frankly I’m shocked Trump’s base isn’t melting down over the “Jew” dealing with the Sign of the Beast.

          • If he was a Democrat, they would be

          • suziq

            He was a democrat until about Nov 7th.

          • snork
            Remember in the primaries when they forgotted to switch and none of them could vote for him in their own home state?
            lolz

          • suziq

            Yeah that was funny. Like didn’t they know how it works, or did they not think he would really be on the ballot. Well, who did really? I still can’t believe it.

        • Sophia

          I don’t think Palestine agrees with that assessment

          • jesterpunk

            The banks dont either, Jared overpaid for it by a lot and cant find anyone to loan him money for the building.

            https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/03/nyregion/kushner-companies-666-fifth-avenue.html

            The Fifth Avenue skyscraper was supposed to be the Kushner Companies’ flagship in the heart of Manhattan — a record-setting $1.8 billion souvenir proclaiming that the New Jersey developers Charles Kushner and his son Jared were playing in the big leagues.

            And while it has been a visible symbol of their status, it has also been a financial headache almost from the start. On Wednesday, the Kushners announced that talks had broken off with a Chinese financial conglomerate for a deal worth billions to redevelop the 41-story tower, at 666 Fifth Avenue, into a flashy 80-story ultraluxury skyscraper comprising a chic retail mall, a hotel and high-priced condominiums.

            The official announcement said the company remained “in active, advanced negotiations” with a number of investors, whom it declined to name.

            There is no question that the Kushner Companies — Jared has moved to Washington to serve as an adviser to his father-in-law, President Trump —needs to reach a deal soon, either to bring in a fresh infusion of cash or a well-heeled partner willing to foot the bill, if it wants to hold on to the building. Whomever it brings on as an investor would also have to buy out Vornado Realty Trust, the family’s partner in the tower.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Now this just looks pathetic.

    • shivaskeeper

      Seems like his ability to broker a peace between Morning Joe and Two Scoops might not be the best indicator of his ability to broker peace between Israel and Palestine.

  • Sophia
  • II Gosala

    Simone Veil passed away today. Here’s a little (bad) prose poem

    So memory disappears
    And I weep.

    You say I am weak.

    I cannot teach you the wisdom that only comes with age
    And the study of history
    And human decency

    So I weep
    And you think I am weak
    And I know I am strong

    • yyyaz

      Sensitivity and intelligence are often mistaken — by fools — for weakness.

  • Poly_Ester

    Every administration needs their own Goldie Hahn Laugh-in character.

    • Count Awesome

      Sock it to me!

      • Saxo the Grammarian

        It may be rice wine to you, but it’s saki to me!

        • Doug Langley

          SPLASHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

    • biologydave
    • yyyaz

      Jessica’s sister….

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    My favorite living composer, John Adams, is working on an opera that is a reboot of Puccini’s “Girl of the Golden West”. Here’s a bit of the epilogue.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73ae6c823da6e68d3285505da37a8d6daa1719333cd066bca0d9ea689f466b26.png

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Are you listening, California Attorney General Javier Becerra?

    https://twitter.com/DavidCornDC/status/880882340842659841

  • Michael R
  • Nephilim

    She just can’t conceive that his problems might be of his own making. That’s the toxicity she needs to discuss.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Oh, she knows. They all know. They just think they can lie their way out of it, Goebbels-style. It’s such a statement of their utter moral rot.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s like some sort of witch hunt, but there’s a actually a witch.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
    • HorseChestnut

      How do we get rid of him??

      • Count Awesome

        Convince everyone you know to leave Facebook.

        • Lori

          Or at least convince him that if he gets into politics at least half of Faceplace’s user base will get POed and leave, no matter which side he claims to be on.

        • Jennifer R

          Loved it when a trans friend of a friend’s name was good enough for her security badge but not good enough for an account.

    • No more non-politicians.

      • Lori

        This. President is not an entry level job.

        We need a general moratorium on CEOs in any political job.

        • Yeah. Shut them down till we figure out what’s going on.

        • Villago Delenda Est

          Frankly, a general moratorium on CEOs in any executive position would be a good idea. With a handful of exceptions, they’re far beyond their level of competence.

      • BeachBum

        I would be open to someone that has proved him/her self in a public service kind of way. At this point girl/boy scout service might be enough.

        • I mean, there’s precedent for electing people who have served in the military, which makes sense since the position includes being commander in chief. But otherwise, what is stopping someone who wants to be president one day for running for senator or governor or something first? Or even mayor or state legislator or something. Get a clue about how the government works first, then come back.

          I have to think that we would not have Cheeto Hitler in the Oval if he’d tried being, like, city councilman or something first.

      • jesterpunk

        I wouldn’t be opposed to them running for a house seat but POTUS should have some experience.

    • BeachBum

      Well shit man ! It was HOT that day ! I’m sure it’s in the Constitution or Ten Commandments or Trump Golf Club Rules to Stay Cool !

      • whitroth

        A poor man is fighting for all that he has

        He stands with his back to the wall

        A rich man he spends nearly half of his life

        Just chasing a little white ball”
        – Pig Hollow, U. Utah Phillips

    • Suttree

      Sure thing Mark. Your fucking platform assisted in spreading tons of fake ass “news” that I’m sure assisted in pigdickface get into office. Now you want to join in? Fuck you!

    • Persistent Demme

      How does he reconcile the big fundraiser he had for Chris Christie?

  • https://twitter.com/Lane_/status/880907056903069698

    https://twitter.com/Lane_/status/880910833353728000

    I mean, I kind of doubt this will end up being The Thing That Topples Trump (although, damned if I can understand why some awful shit he does flies under the radar entirely while other stuff breaks through, so what do I know) but it would be funny in a twisted way if that was what happened.

    • jesterpunk

      Walnuts will be deeply concerned about this.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        And Lindsay will find it entirely in the fiddle-dee-dee zone.

        • jesterpunk

          He is on his fainting couch right now.

        • Phoenixdoglover

          This is a “well, I declare” moment.

      • yyyaz

        Walnutz is only “deeply” concerned when he shits his Depends™.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Deeply concerned, yet totally unable to use his power as a United States Senator to do jack shit about it.

    • Has to be a tweet for it to be true poetic justice

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    We already know this, but it’s good that Rachel is reminding people:

    https://twitter.com/ZaibatsuNews/status/880973582016184320

    • Count Awesome

      Superimposing “FOCUS” above the Trump White House is like nicely asking a heroin addict not shoot up smack.

  • jesterpunk

    So Washington Post you are not doing phrasing anymore are you?

    Silence over dad’s tweets speak to Ivanka Trump’s tight spot

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/a-moment-of-silence-speaks-to-ivanka-trumps-tight-spot/2017/06/30/8d89af18-5de4-11e7-aa69-3964a7d55207_story.html

    — Ivanka Trump has been vocal in using her White House role to advocate
    for women. But when President Donald Trump lobbed a demeaning attack on
    a female TV host on Twitter this week, his daughter and senior adviser
    kept quiet.

    It was a moment of silence that spoke to the challenges and calculations Ivanka Trump faces as she tries to promote family-friendly policies in an administration led by a man whose comments about women have made women cringe and drawn bipartisan rebuke.

    In recent weeks, the younger Trump has discussed family leave with
    lawmakers, traveled to promote job-training efforts and spoken out
    against human trafficking. She’s also tried to position herself as above
    the political fray, saying in one interview that she tries to “stay out
    of politics” and in another that she’s been surprised by the “level of
    viciousness” in Washington politics.

    The tussle between her father and “Morning Joe” co-hosts Mika Brzezinski and Joe Scarborough offered a pointed reminder to Ivanka Trump that this is a city where
    it’s impossible to separate policy and politics.

    • ….she has?
      Wait. Did I miss something? When was Ivanka been vocal in a role to advocate women?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        When she figured it was good for her brand and helped her sell her clothes of course. Why else does anyone in that family do anything?

        • I mean I remember her saying how she wants women to have family leave (which…they already do) and said human trafficking was BAD! (yes, thank you)….
          but I do not recall her being a very vocal woman’s advocate so much as saying the bare minimum of cliché phrases.

      • jesterpunk

        Never unless it benefited her.

      • Jukesgrrl
        • Three Finger Salute

          “Now he’s gettin’ a tattoo,
          Yeah he’s gettin’ ink done,
          I wanna style his hair
          In a Leia man bun!
          Like Joan Collins in the ’80s,
          I’m sharpening my knife,
          Gonna ride in his Mercedes
          And run over his wife!

          Buy him for me, daddy!
          (Uh-huh, uh-huh)
          Buy him for me, daddy!
          (Uh-huh, uh-huh)
          Buy him for me, daddy!
          (Uh-huh, uh-huh)
          Voulez-vous coucher avec moi, ce soir?

          And all the ladies say he’s pretty fly
          For a Canuck guy!”

      • Mehmeisterjr

        I thought her brave Daddy-Don’t-Grabass-Me-on-National-Television-on-Election-Night stand was a brave statement for all women, except for the ones who aren’t named Ivanka.

      • BeachBum

        Yeah, it happened while you were getting a glass of wine. I think it was an impromptu interview at the Stormstrumfest at Cleaveland last summer.

      • shivaskeeper

        She did that thing, with the other thing. And the meeting with the things. And she was seated next to Angela Merkel at the third thing. Plus the thing with the dresses in the Middle East thing.

        Basically nothing but women’s advocacy.

      • She has a vagina and said nice words in a soothing sounding voice at the Republican convention. I think that by current wingnut standards, that makes her a radical feminist.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      “Moments like this make it much harder for advocates that have spentdecades fighting gender stereotypes and discrimination and advancing
      women’s equality to view her as a potential ally,” said Vicki Shabo, vice president of the National Partnership for Women & Families.

      Said Emily’s List President Stephanie Schriock, “She’s never been one who stood up when it mattered most.”

      God, they’re diplomatic.

      • BeachBum

        Um yes. Perhaps they could work for our New and Improved State Dept.

        • Jukesgrrl

          BINGO!

    • Sophia

      Wonder what she has to say about this as well

      Trump may end White House Council on Women and Girls: report

      http://www.rawstory.com/2017/06/trump-may-end-white-house-council-on-women-and-girls-report/

      • jesterpunk

        “I dont want to get involved in politics”

        Ivanka

      • Three Finger Salute

        Pretty sure everybody knew that “women in business” meeting with Trudeau was utter bullshit. As Seth Meyers so aptly put it: “Trudy and the beast.” Scripted, North Korea-style PR so he could say “lookie at me, I put my daughter in charge of something and here she is with a bunch of female Apprentice contestants from central casting and a feminist guy. I love women and women love me!” Not Justin’s fault there’s an unpredictable unpresident below the 49th, who’d nuke Ottawa if the princess didn’t get what she wanted: to come to work and sit on daddy’s lap and have an extra special visit from her teen idol crush. That is not a hug club he wants to join.

        The “Justin’s lame and he sucks, Pierre would have told him off” whataboutism from the annoying Canadian press is invalid, because Trump is like nothing anyone has ever seen before save for maybe South Korea. Pierre only had to deal with Nixon, who certainly was a paranoid crank but was nothing like Trump. He even toasted Justin as “the future PM” and Pat gave him a toy Snoopy. If Trump was in office, he would have made that moment all about himself. As evidenced by the perfect gift JT and his advisors picked out: a framed picture of Pierre and Trump! Which he even described as, “this very nice picture of me… and your father.” At least he didn’t say Castro.

        The PMO should have sent Justin Bieber in tattered overalls instead, and spare Trudeau the indignity of having to sit with such a waste of space and time. Two, in fact.

    • Jamoche

      “Ivanka Trump has been vocal in using her White House role to advocate for women.”

      Funny, I don’t feel advocated for.

      • jesterpunk

        She only advocates for herself and things that benefit her.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Ivanka is a joke. Not a funny one.

      • jesterpunk

        Yeah I know, I was just really laughing at the article title.

        “Silence over dad’s tweets speak to Ivanka Trump’s tight spot”

        • BeachBum

          As a gentleman (don’t laugh) I would never speak to Ivanka’s “tight spot.” If she had one. I’m sure she does. Somewhere. But I dunno. And not because women’s bodies confuse me.
          It prolly has an answer for “how you doing?”

          • jesterpunk

            I have had a little to drink and the title just made me laugh like a little kid. Not sure if that means I need more or less alcohol though.

    • Lori

      What a load of crap. People have got to stop acting like Ivanka is the good one.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      “…offered a pointed reminder to Ivanka Trump that this is a city where
      it’s impossible to separate policy and politics.”

      In what place in the US is it possible to separate policy and politics? Policy and politics are always intertwined. Policy is implemented through political means; and politics informs and shapes policy.

      This WaPo article is pure drivel trying to pass as insightful commentary.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Hey Silicon Valley–you’re supposed to be ahead of the curve. How about joining the 21st century?

    https://twitter.com/Tiffani_Bova/status/880964649268649984

    • yyyaz

      We Murricans suck at way too many things.

      • But only when you ask us really nicely….or pay us the right amount of money

        • yyyaz

          You have a dirty mind. Have I told you how attractive that is?

    • Lori

      Silicon Valley is dude bro central. They most definitely are not ahead of the enlightenment curve.

    • Persistent Demme

      Not to worry, Callyson.
      Swedish Govt. V.C.s (whatever they are) are not representative of Silicon Valley.

      Maybe some of the young guys here are jerks, but, in my experience, (Mr. Demme is in the biz), most people are diverse, open to change, and very concerned about getting more women in the tech world.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Jesus Christ, Kellyanne, go home and get your red, white, and blue outfit together for the 4th of July. Those hideous outfits aren’t made in a day.

    • Count Awesome

      She’ll surely dress like Napoleon for the Fourth.

      • Jukesgrrl

        I can’t wait!

      • General Cornwallis or I don’t get my Bingo card filled this year

      • Villago Delenda Est

        She should save the Napoleon outfit for the Bastille Day trip to France.

        • Count Awesome

          As if they know when that would be.

    • whitroth

      Didn’t I read that it was a *British* outfit?

      • Count Awesome

        She’s just making the trade deficit worse.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      He wasn’t fit to serve in Vietnam, but he got better. Maybe he will get better at presidenting and overcome his unfitness for office? Or we could start a GoFundMe to send him buckets of extra crispy KFC hourly until he succumbs.

  • HazooToo
    • Count Awesome

      “I don’t have to kill you, but I don’t have to save you!”
      –The God-Damned Batman

    • The KGB Ate Our Votes

      Ham. I’d make a ham sandwich. On rye with muenster cheese, lettuce and dijon.

    • shivaskeeper

      Neither. The current was too strong. This is not a hard question.

    • Sigh. Both.
      Because reasons. If it is one or the other no boths, then whomever was closest.
      Course I would totes youtube the entire thing and post it under the heading “Liberal chick saves dickhead!”

      • ariel_gee_398

        Isn’t this sort of a variation of the trolley problem though? If you don’t do anything, two people die. If you do something, the two people you save will likely kill or cause to be killed other, innocent, people.

        • Dunno. But in any question about do you save this life, you save that life.
          Just my own personal thing, only based on how one cannot possibly know the future. There is no plausible scenario that you can give me that says “If you save this one dude, these ten will die!” unless of course you are Doc Oc holding up a streetcar with one tentacle and dangling Mary Jane with the other

    • Jennifer R

      My orgasim until they had both drowned.

    • Lori

      I’d throw them 1 life preserver and let them fight over it.

      • oooo mean!
        Wish I had thought of that XD

      • BeachBum

        And then video it on your phone.

        • Lori

          Naturellement.

          My nod to being a good person is that I wouldn’t drop a brick on the winner of the fight. That’s the best I could do for those 2 horror shows.

    • Persistent Demme

      Would my life be endangered in way?
      Oh, who am I kidding?
      Not a question.
      Neither.
      (Doing my part to Keep America Beautiful.)

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      That’s easy – they’re driving the fish away. Maybe they’ll bite on the other side of the lake. Head that way…

    • Is there any chance that they’re drowning as a result of a botched prison escape? Because if the end result is that they rot away alone behind bars for life, I’ll do my best to save them both. There are worse things than death.

    • vivian

      Oh drat! Look at the time. Sorry guys, these nails aren’t gonna clip themselves.

    • Jon Sussex

      Is this in Reno? Cuz if it is I think I have to watch ’em die.

  • Count Awesome

    As part of your 4th of July festivities as a member of the resistance, quote John Paul Jones: “I have not yet begun to fight!”

  • Sophia

    Srsly, how brain dead can you be?

    Despite Trump issuing the executive order that led to his ordered deportation, Ramirez, who came to the United States at age 11, said he still supports the president and considers himself a Republican.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/06/but-ive-tried-to-live-a-good-life-trump-supporting-california-minister-now-faces-deportation/

    • Count Awesome

      He must truly hate himself.

      • Maybe he is hoping they will change his mind if he says so?

    • jesterpunk

      That isnt even the leopards eating face party that is just stupidity. He encouraged his daughter to vote for Trump, gets deported and still supports Trump.

      • Sophia

        Leopard eating his own face?

        • vivian

          “I never thought the leopard would eat my face” says the guy who voted for the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.

          • Lori

            This is worse than that. This is a faceless guy saying, “The leopard ate my face and I still support the Leopards Eating People’s Faces Party.”

            That guy doesn’t have issues, he has a subscription.

    • shivaskeeper

      At least he’s consistent.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I need your thoughts. Mom and I were planning on another road trip. This time to the Grand Canyon.I know that there are awesome people in Arizona, but I also know that there are Trumpanzees. And frankly, I don’t want to support those assholes. Not even with one thin dime. Should we go? Or just do Yosemite?

    • Count Awesome

      Kings Canyon. Less crowded than Yosemite.

      • Gregory Brown

        The Kings Canyon region was the last home of Ishi, the last Yahi Indian in America.

      • BeachBum

        Yes ! Hike to the river. You can swim and run around naked ! Don’t judge me, Native Americans did NOT order bathing suits on Amazon !

        • Pics or…well you know

          • BeachBum

            I am not that kind of guy. Oh hell, who am I kidding, of COURSE I am !

    • BeachBum

      If you don’t have some kind of reservations by now Yosemite will be a hard deal.
      If you have never seen a big hole in the ground, go to Grand Canyon. Be big hearted and show them that liberals are really good people. And you MUST stop at the Dairy Queen in Flagstaff !

    • Honestly? If we let them keep us from our National Parks, we let them win.
      Go where you want to go.

      • BeachBum

        Here Here !

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Good point.

        • Your money will be going to our national parks, that need us right now.
          Endangered species.

          • yyyaz

            What I wouldn’t give to bring Teddy R back here for just a coupla months. *fuck*

      • shivaskeeper

        This^^.

      • jesterpunk
        • I was just contemplating the demand for a trophy but…. he’s a pretty good substitute.
          Hullo there, perty mouth

    • Count Awesome

      You could go to Malheur in Oregon. I hear the visitors center is quite the sight.

      • Bill D. Burger

        And often the sight of a majestic, soaring eagle, a dildo in its talons, just makes the heart flutter.

        • Count Awesome

          Especially when the eagle is fumbling to hold onto the dildo because it’s all lubed up.

    • yyyaz

      The Canyon will be filled with nothing but turistas from all over the world. You owe it to yourself. And the Canyon is in the bluest part of the state, coincidentally where I live.

      • Poly_Ester

        Don’t think that you will find too many Arabs.

        • yyyaz

          True that, and now that you mention it, I wonder why. Plenty of Europeans and Asians.

      • Bill D. Burger

        We go to the North Rim usually when visiting. So much less crowded than the South Rim and the drives and hikes there are right out of a Disney picture. We’ve loved it there for years. Usually spend a week or so in Kanaub, Utah (Greatest Earth on Show) and visit the 4 national parks within easy driving distance. Love that whole area.

        • yyyaz

          Have you made it over to Monument Valley/Canyon de Chelly? Or the switchbacks of the San Juan River?

          • Bill D. Burger

            Been to Monument Valley a couple of times and to the Navajo Reservation where Canyon de Chelly is located, but never been to the switchbacks (Made a note of that). We love to visit and hike/camp in Zion and especially in Bryce. Love that whole southwest area of Utah and northern AZ.

          • yyyaz

            The Colorado Plateau is the pinnacle of awesome per square mile. Also Ooh, Ahh, Whooooah, and Unbelievable too.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oregon on August 21st will be too crowded. I guarantee it.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        August 21st?

        • OrG

          Eclipse.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Ahhh…

    • shivaskeeper

      This is your country also, too. Go where you want. Be discriminating as much as you can where you spend the money on the road trip. But fuck them for you even having to think about not going somewhere.

      • snicker. Tell her to let her mom drive XD
        We get such good stories that way

        • shivaskeeper

          I think you just did.

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Who knew that Subaru Foresters could go 105 mph?

          • BeachBum

            Shit !

          • So awesome XD

          • shivaskeeper

            Subies can move out. If you were only doing 105 I assume the engine was governed.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            That would be my mom.

          • shivaskeeper

            Well, yeah. Hence the suggestion she drive.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            We would certainly get there sooner.

          • shivaskeeper

            Speed is life.

          • Count Awesome

            “America is all about speed. Hot, nasty bad ass speed!”
            –Eleanor Roosevelt

          • Bemused Australian

            Verdammt engine limiters >=(

          • shivaskeeper

            Euro spec cars. Just saying.

          • Bemused Australian

            Momma speed demon! =D

    • Yr. Gma

      The wingnuts are clustered the thickest around Phoenix, but there will be a few in Flagstaff. Go to the Grand Canyon. It will be populated by Nat’l Park people who are mostly on the side of good. Arizona also has a sizable native American population, and I wouldn’t call them Trumpanzees. Don’t let the assholes keep you from seeing your national treasures.

      • yyyaz

        Ramen.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Take 120W out of Yosemite to 395 and north to Lake Tahoe: Twain called it the ‘jewel of the American West’ and we love to get over there at least once a year to see friends. Beautiful scenic drives all around.
      (*I do have to admit that the Grand Canyon is one of our favorite places on earth. North Rim. Drive there is right out of a Disney nature pic and it’s soooo’ much less crowded than the South Rim. 15% of visitors go to the North Rim and lodge and 85% to the South Rim….and especially in summer.)

    • Jukesgrrl

      See the Grand Canyon (everyone MUST, even if this is a red state) but stay in Flagstaff (the heart of famous Route 66). It’s a college town and is filled with Democrats. Northern AZ voters have followed one Democratic Congressional representative with another one. Also, don’t shame us too much. I’ve lived here (though no fault of my own) for 11 years now and the number of Democratic legislators in the state capital has risen every two years. We even have a credible Democratic candidate for governor (shout-out, Steve Farley!) and FINALLY Phoenix dumped Joe Arpaio. While in Flagstaff check out Northern Arizona University; see the Museum of Northern AZ for tribal heritage, culture, geology, etc.; tour the Coconino Center for the Arts. I highly recommend a jeep tour of nearby Sedona to see the amazing Red Rocks and you can also take guided tours of the Navajo or Hopi Indian Reservations for stunning scenery and eye-opening education (those tours are the better part of a day). Flagstaff downtown galleries are a great place for bargains on silver jewelry and other amazing crafts made by tribal artisans. There are some fine dining restaurants (Brix, Josephine’s, The Cottage and several steakhouses) but many places feature college-town cuisine (esp. great breakfasts). Salsa Brava and Brandy’s have been featured on Diners, Drive-ins and Dives. Patronize homegrown places and you’ll get good meals and be helping the local economy.
      https://musnaz.org
      http://www.flagstafftours.com
      https://www.yelp.com/search?cflt=restaurants&find_loc=Flagstaff%2C+AZ

      • yyyaz

        Yes.

  • Sophia

    Uh? Russian radio takes over local DC station

    “We’re glad to finally be able to directly address our listeners in Washington. During the last few months Sputnik Radio has become the target of constant attacks in the US corporate media,” Gavasheli said. “And often the people who wrote or spoke about us didn’t even bother to listen to our broadcasts first.”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/media/340292-russian-radio-takes-over-local-dc-station?

    • o.O
      Oh. Ok. Hey listeners in Washington that we did not have until we hijacked your station, you should believe us!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Next up, Vlad takes over MSNBC with a Trump Headroom mask.

      Or maybe that’s just Trump himself continuing to lose his shit.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqgeM6rWSkw

  • Bill D. Burger

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDmjzJuVoAA7awY.jpg

    *I’ll never forgive Cheetolini for innumerable things….one of which is make me give the slightest positive gesture toward Joe & Mika.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Conway is now such a joke, her mere presence on a “news show” is cause for concern…

  • Count Awesome

    New motto for the U.S. of A.: “Being waylaid by jackassery since 2017!”

  • jesterpunk
  • Jennifer R
    • shivaskeeper

      Just goes to show how easily you can get drug into shit like this.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Count Awesome

      I bet she also claims to look very youthful.

      • Bill D. Burger

        That’s an alternative fact!

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Is her… is her right temporal area somewhat…CONVEX?

  • Do you ever feel like we’re living in a fan fiction where someone took the bumbling burglars from Home Alone and made them the bad guys in a Russian spy novel?

    • Three Finger Salute

      The third Home Alone actually did have Russian bad guys. They really should have quit after Macaulay Culkin became grown up and messed up. Instead? There’s SIX.

      • I think I only saw the first two.

        • Three Finger Salute

          I went to see the third one as a kid. Told my parents I wanted to go home halfway through it because it was awful. First movie I ever walked out of.

    • Count Awesome

      I think I’m living in an “Apprentice” fan fiction written by someone that just missed the cut to come back for a past favorites version.

    • jesterpunk

      I don’t think any author ever is talented to write a story this unbelievable.

      • I’d watch a David Lynch take on it, maybe. He’s good at surrealism.

        • jesterpunk

          Even he would have a problem with writing a story like this. If it wasnt really happening no one would believe anything like this could ever happen.

          • I know. I would not have believed that cartoon villain caricatures existed in real life until we elected one and he appointed the rest of them.

      • ariel_gee_398

        It’d take the L. Ron Hubbard of spy novelists.

    • vivian

      I feel more like its a fan-fic written by a cow with ADHD who’s sitting on the remote control while he watches the TV for inspiration.

  • HazooToo
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      “I’d like to remind everybody to please remain inside the tour coach, with the windows closed. We will not be getting off at this stop, and we will be on our way again as soon as we refuel.”

      • HazooToo

        “Please do not make eye contact, or smile baring your teeth!”

    • Count Awesome

      Your move Florida.
      ETA: Needz moar gator.

    • SayItWithWookies

      “It’s okay, it’s brewed from corn. And bugs.”

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Still more normal than the bs puking out of 1600 on the daily.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Protesters from ADAPT arrested at the behest of Senator Cory Gardner’s office (because the optics of hauling out protesters in wheelchairs worked out so well for Mitch McConnell) still haven’t been released more than 24 hours after their arrests.
    https://twitter.com/JStein_Vox/status/880979396726849536

    • Bill D. Burger
      • SayItWithWookies

        “Mom, take off the pussy hat and let the bailiff escort you and the bridge club out. Or no card next year.”

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        This, so goddamn hard.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    Outside a little cafe near Estes Park.

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDlSIF3V0AE236F.jpg

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Count Awesome

      A priest, a rabbi, and Imam walk into a bar. They all agree Trump is an asshole.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      A unicorn, a dragon, and a griffon walk into a bar…

      • Count Awesome

        And all say “fuck Noah for not taking us on the ark!”?

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        And a great fantasy novel was born.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Rule #34 applies.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            Googled it. Has something to do with porn?

            Unicorn, dragon and griffon libelz!

      • whitroth

        It wasn’t a bar I walked into this evening, but a cafe. Were you looking for a dragon?

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Not specifically, but I do like them!

      • What is the one animal that won’t walk into a bar? Duck ;-)

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      That’s cute, but Sean Connery has been dead to me since he advocated slapping around wimmenz to keep them in line, in what was that, the fucking 80’s or something?

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        My attitude toward him shifted 180 degrees when I heard that. I could never un-hear it.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Sean Connery is disgusting, but I’ll upvote solely because it craps on tRump.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Last word from America’s Best Christian…. Betty Bowers.

    https://twitter.com/BettyBowers/status/880436913005580288

    • Count Awesome

      More proof that Trump is actually undead and Trumpanzees are zombies.

    • shivaskeeper

      He is an old man version of an greasy, basement dwelling MRA asshole who is no real prize bitching that any woman he even looks at should be no less than a 9 and any one he talks to should be a 10 at minimum.

      • Jennifer R

        His face is collapsing in on itself ala Yurtle.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        While he is a 3. Okay, maybe a weak 4.

        • shivaskeeper

          But all the women near him need to be 10’s.

        • Yr. Gma

          Not quite a 2.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            You are correct. His bizarrely small, and anal sphincter- like mouth render him a 2.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      This reminds me of a saying, hmm, what is it, hmm, of yeah, right, I got it, it goes like this, “Dear D. J. Trump, Fuck You.”

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Pillsbury dough man.

  • HazooToo
    • Jennifer R

      You know it!
      My freak flag flies high.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      This amuses me to no end. I am a 51 year old adolescent.

    • Count Awesome

      “Oh the hu-can-ity”

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      An artwork titled, “June 30, 2017.”

  • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

    omg I find the fact that you included Miss South Carolina HI-Larious, Dok, because when I heard tRump’s argle-bargle about a, “…great health care” a few days ago, this is all I could think of. He is intellectually similar to an ill-educated youngish teenage American airhead.

    Open thread! Let’s talk about the best places for ex-pats to live!! Retirement is coming! The mister and I are attracted to NZ. Thoughts? Opinions? Insults?

    • Count Awesome

      Costa Rica.

      • shivaskeeper

        Too close to Jurassic Park.

        • Count Awesome

          They’re in the process of becoming a service based economy since they built the new highway to get to their beaches on their Pacific coast.

        • BeachBum

          Really ! I want to die of old age. Not somebodies lunch.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Ooh, my brother recently enjoyed a fishing trip there. IDK. Is Central America that stable? Am I a jerk for asking?

        • Count Awesome

          They’re modernizing and are seeing a ton of tourism money now.

    • HazooToo

      NZ sounds amazing, and you could live like a Hobbit, but keep in mind that we are currently attempting to drown the planet!

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Eh! There are mountains as well as beaches!

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      At least she’s nice to look at, and probably not mean.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        IDK. I’d choose less plastic, and fun/ more interesting regardless of appearance over such as like US American dingbats any day.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Oh, the poor thing is a total idiot, no doubt, but if I have to listen to someone babble, I’d prefer they at least be attractive. Having to look at Trump’s ugly mug AND listen to his incoherent gibberish is more than I can bear.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            I cannot even bear to listen to Dolt45. I take his proclamations by proxy.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I’m up past my bedtime so articulessness is gone with the wind but, NZ for the win, baby. The South Island is glorious beyond words.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        I am your fan and pleas indulge me with your opinions when you have time, because it sounds as though you have spent a considerable amount of time there!!!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Canadia — long days in summertime, soon-to-be mild winters, great healthcare, and, unlike my country whose freedom I hold dear for many poetic reasons — not that its citizens care about poetry — many of its citizens speak English.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        IDK. I grew up in NW VT, and winters were rough, rougher north in Quebec. Arthritis croons for warmer climes. Even though I have relatives in QC who are government peeps… I’m not at all certain that would be best for long term health.

      • BeachBum

        Aye, yey, that they do, um, many do the honor of the Queen’s tongue.
        That would be my number one choice as well, yes it would. Maybe of the Newfoundland if it’s not too cold in the weenter times. Noo, can’t have that. Shall see. Ayup.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Belize has English as its official language, so there’s that. Not sure how it pans out for retiring. I’m thinking Costa Rica down the road myself.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Ooh- I recently suggested to the mister that we check out Belize. He wanted to go back to Grand Cayman, but man, the cost of everything over there is so high due to shipping. A mainland country has more appeal for me. Oddly, I recall reading on NZ’s website that the cost of living is very manageable there, despite it’s island status.

  • jesterpunk
    • Heyzeus Ahchay

      Don’t step in the Trump on your way to your car. We let the dog out earlier.

    • yyyaz

      Every day I search for words that adequately describe the enormous, ugly, walking culture of rancid smegma that this asshole really is.

  • jesterpunk
    • Count Awesome

      “Making America Grate!” according to a Pew Survey.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Make America Hate Again.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    If I may open thread a bit.

    Oh, and for those who want the tl; dr, Godwin rulz!

    I just finished Blitzed: Drugs In the Third Reich by Norman Ohler (trans. By Shaun Whiteside).

    Hitler propelled himself into the Chancellorship on the strength of his dynamic, charismatic personality. A decade later, he was starting to suffer minor health problems, a lot of it brought on by stress and diet. A physician and pharmacologist introduced by a mutual friend suggested a treatment of injected vitamins and hormone supplements he’d developed. The effects were noticeable in moments of the stuff hitting his bloodstream. He was dynamic, in control, clear-headed, able to go into war-related meetings and dominate the generals, assuaging a fear as the war dragged on that they were running it and not him.

    As the war degenerated, as well as his health due to these constant shocks to his systems produced by these injections, he required more and more help from these injections to continue to dominate the strategy sessions concerning the war. To the doctor’s supplements, he soon added Parvitin, an over-the-counter drug until 1939 popular in the Weimar Republic of the 30’s. The scientific name is methamphetamine. He also included Eukodol, or, as the medical community likes to call it, oxycodone.

    Reflecting on these events today, the question comes up: What is Donald Trump’s drug of choice? What makes him feel energized, strong, in control? Attention. The guy’s a narcissist. Everyone knows that. I worked for a guy who was a narcissistic bully, and as much of a horrorshow as that situation was, he was an amateur compared to Trump. Hitler would come down off his high, and, a day later, he needed another shot so he’d be at the top of game for another meeting so he could dominate the generals.

    Attention serves the same purpose for Trump, and Twitter is his drug delivery system.

    • shivaskeeper

      Coke. Meth is too low class for him. It’s not opiods. I can’t see him admitting he needed any sort of treatment for bad health.

      Attention will only get him so far. There are actual narcotics involved there.

      • Jennifer R

        I second coke.

        My phone tried to make me say I second come, for the record.

        • Count Awesome

          Multi-orgasmic much?

        • shivaskeeper

          Generous to a fault.

          • Jennifer R

            That is me alright.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Sadly, that French-language alt history book Trudeau read about Hitler having Freud as his therapist hasn’t been translated to English. I think the author is dead? Maybe someone else 70 years from now will come up with a sequel of what it would be like if Trump had, I dunno, Dr Phil as his therapist.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I’ve been lucky this year. My wife’s former client brought us about a half-ton of morels this spring — enough that we couldn’t begin to eat them all. I put away two quart-jars of dried morels just now. That ought to hold us for a while.

    • Count Awesome

      Smoke them, then dry them.

      • TundraGrifter

        How do you keep them lit?

        • Count Awesome

          Use a bong/water pipe.

          • yyyaz

            I totally concur.

        • Weird Fishes

          In a Smokey Joe you’ll be pulling your hair out in about a minute. Theres just no easy way to manage the heat.

          You’re going to need a 22″ Weber with a hinged grate to refresh the coals.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        That sounds like a good idea, but I’ve been dragging my feet for a while on buying a smoker. Every time I’m about to pull the trigger, I think, “Yeah, something else to sit in the garage. I won’t use it nearly as much as I think.” MrsMatt says, “Just get one of those little Weber numbers that cost $40,” thinking that if I do, I’ll actually use it more than I think.

        • Jonny On Maui

          If you pay attention to the temperature a Weber can double as a smoker.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Right. She’s talking about one of those “Smokey Joes” — the little hibachi-sized thing. That’d probably be about right for occasionally smoking some jalepenos.

          • yyyaz

            Definitely better than the spensive smoker I eventually scrapped cuz it would not respond like a regular Weber. Hours of frustration.

          • Count Awesome

            The expensive smokers are more for people that are going to do it on a regular basis and refine their technique on a very regular basis. There is the expectation from the people that make smokers that you will use it on a very regular basis. It’s more practical to soak wood chips, keep a Webber at low temp, and keep feeding wood chips as needed. Only other real option is to invest in either a wood burning oven or an actual wood burning grill (both are actually too expensive for the home).

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Tell that to Mr.T, who bought one and smoked meat weekly- until he decided that they produced too many carcinogens. Now it sits in the garage with all the other discarded doohickeys he has experimented with over the years.

        • Count Awesome

          If you don’t want to buy a smoker, buy a 600 pan, a 200 perf pan and a lid. You can rig a smoker on your range if you line the 600 pan with foil.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I’ve used a steamer-insert and a stock pot — same idea.

          • Count Awesome

            Absolutely. It’s more versatile than an actual smoker because of surface area. It’s just as easy to use soaked wood chips as it is to use tea, seaweed or even bamboo as long as there is rice and sugar to start the smoking process.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I’ve never tried bamboo. Good?

          • Count Awesome

            It works for hot smoking fish.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I live just off the Nez Perce reservation. I let my fish guy handle that.

          • Count Awesome

            Nothing wrong with that.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            Fresh, line-caught salmon and steelhead for $15; smoked for $20 is awfully hard to beat.

          • Count Awesome

            Salmon should be cold smoked though and that is a pain in the ass if your using something designed for hot smoking. It can be done though.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            I’m salivating.

          • yyyaz

            We always used “dry” alder, as in try to dry any kind of wood in the PNW without a million-dollar indoor setup.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            I asked the guy what he uses, once. He told me he holds the fish in front of his truck’s exhaust pipe. Stoicism and sarcasm go hand in hand with the Nimi’ipuu.

          • Count Awesome

            Alder is great for smoking. It’s great for halibut.

  • DirtyHippyLiberal

    It seems that I forgot to tell my grandson that middle of the night fussing for no reason was not a thing at Grama’s house. My bad.

    So, whachall doin’ here?

    • shivaskeeper

      Night shift

    • TJ Barke

      I got nowhere else to go!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I got nowhere else I’d rather be!

        • TJ Barke

          If this was actually a physical gathering I’d rather be there, maybe.

    • Jennifer R

      Chatting with other weirdos.

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        I knew there was a reason I keep coming here.

        PS: small child that I’d like to call inappropriate names is still not sleeping.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I think Wonkette needs to make that their new tagline.

      • DirtyHippyLiberal

        OK…everybody…chat *really really* low. I think he’s asleep.

        And as I type that, he cries again. Carry on.

      • pussygrabber in chief
        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          I can’t decide if the audience is in awe, or thinking, “How the fuck could you do this to Radiohead?”

  • Panika MCD

    other than politics, what are you nerdy about?

    WORD TO THE NERDS.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      I’m an amateur astronomer and a kite collector.

      • yyyaz

        Do you have to adjust the front lens for growth? And what kind of reel do you employ for kites? Slow minds need to know.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          Changing the degree of magnification is done by removing the telescope’s eyepiece and installing another one of a different focal length. I have eyepieces in 35, 25,15, and 9 millimeters; an additional optical element called a “Barlow” gives me another 2x power, and lets the 35mm act like a 17.5mm and so on.

          http://wwwcdn.skyandtelescope.com/wp-content/uploads/EyepiecesGD_m.jpg

          I have some spindle-type reels for kite line, but I prefer large, flat spools. They’re easier to hold, and they allow you to wind up line faster.

          https://www.gombergkites.com/G-LINE.JPG

          • yyyaz

            I get the optics, just wondered how you manipulate them and the reels. Trained human?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Unicorn magic. —; )~

    • Alex Grey

      I prefer “geek.”

      • Panika MCD

        geek is for pop-culture and computer science. the latter will probably go stale as “tech” replaces it and as it inches toward being its own branch of science for a century.

      • Three Finger Salute

        So, curious to know, if there’s a difference, and when and why did either term become less than pejorative? Is it because and around the same time that computer “geeks”/”nerds” started making bigly yuge money? Because for decades all you saw in movies and TV was the Poindexter with the bowtie and Coke bottle glasses with tape in the middle. Or the female equivalent, the spinster librarian who just needs to take off her glasses and let her hair down and suddenly become beautiful.

    • Count Awesome

      Food and cooking, but that’s my job.
      ETA: wine also too.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I enjoy eating. I think we should be friends.

        • Count Awesome

          If there is anything you are cooking and having trouble with feel free to ask for any hints I can provide.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I can make two things – chili, and reservations. :-(

            The sad part is, my mother is an excellent cook AND I went to baking school. I just don’t really have a feel for it.

          • Count Awesome

            What don’t you have a feel for? I also bake and the only things in the kitchen that you need to have a “feel” for is when you are adding water to flour for bread and pie dough and sugar work due to humidity. Everything else is chemistry and practice.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Some people just seem to be good at it. I do think I could be better if I practiced more.

          • Count Awesome

            Then try to practice more of what you like to make. For baking it also helps if your recipes are all weight based rather than volume based because it is more precise. If you can, track down Bo Friberg’s “The Professional Pastry Chef” because all the recipes are by weight for both imperial and metric but also because they all work because they have been tested repeatedly at what was the California Culinary Academy before it became a licensed “Cordon Bleu” campus/franchise.

    • HazooToo

      I am nerdy about: D&D, computer games, Good Eats & Cutthroat Kitchen, Hetalia, and probably some more stuff that I can’t think of right now.

      • HazooToo

        OH! And History!

    • TJ Barke

      Lots of stuff.
      Star Wars
      Game of Thrones
      Aliens
      Fallout
      Elder Scrolls
      Futurama
      Anime
      Steven Universe
      MLP:FIM
      Sci Fi in general
      The list goes on & on & on….

      • Panika MCD

        how about non-geek stuff?

      • HazooToo

        Long have I waited for this day… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6l8MFdTaPE

        • Zombishroom

          You are wonderful.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Game of Thrones.
        Science Fiction in General.
        (“Sci Fi = pffft, with a smile)

        • Panika MCD

          how do you define “sci-fi”?

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            I define “sci-fi” as a bastardization of Science Fiction.

            Maybe it no longer applies, but back in the day it really grinded the gears of we, the original science fiction, LOTR, Dungeons and Dragons crowd (she says with a smile because who really gives a fuck about such small fry when there are really giant abhorrent fish to fry?).

          • yyyaz

            Thank you for the affirmation.

          • Panika MCD

            wasn’t Frankenstein the original science fiction?

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          GOT

      • yyyaz

        Physics
        Philosophy
        History
        Current events
        Baseball
        Japanese porn
        My early Hemi
        Dogs
        Photography

      • Bemused Australian

        Fallout 2 is best!

    • shivaskeeper

      A lot of things.

      • Panika MCD

        you. don’t. get. a. pass.

        • shivaskeeper

          Fine.

          Reptiles, snakes in particular.
          Engines.
          Horses.
          Sharks.
          Warhammer 40K.
          Horror novels and movies.
          Military history.
          Woodwork.

          A few other things,.

          • Panika MCD

            that’s more like it.

          • shivaskeeper

            Almost forgot the big one. I love to learn new things. Even esoteric shit that will have no bearing on my day to day life ever.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            THIS! I fill my head with all sorts of esoteric stuff and I like to go see/experience new things.

          • shivaskeeper

            It’s not that I fill my head with it. It’s that any new knowledge is a good thing to me. On occasion I have found subjects that just don’t interest me, but I tried them first to figure it out.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            I’m 60 goddamn years old and have committed myself to learning to play the piano. It is geeky + esoteric+ every goddamn thing there is. Wheeee!

          • shivaskeeper

            Awesome.

          • Panika MCD

            when I was in grad school, Stephen Dobyns pulled out some Les Murray one day. when we got to “Echidna” he said he didn’t know what an echidna was, but he liked the poem. I pipe up with, “oh, it’s a small, Australian monotreme with spines on its back!” he says, “okay, I’m used to you just knowing stuff, but how the fuck dis you know that?!”

          • shivaskeeper

            I would have said, “something like an Aussie hedgehog.”

          • Panika MCD

            MONOTREME LIBELZ!

            I’d like to see a hedgehog lay an egg.

          • shivaskeeper

            Well, yeah. But I expect people to do some of their own research too.

          • Bemused Australian

            That is the fundamental property of nerdiness. The ability to be fascinated by things that most people would find boring because they work in interesting ways!

          • Zombishroom

            Yes!

    • jaspersdad

      Don’t know about nerdy but I backpack and hike in summer and cross country ski tour in winter. Oh yeah, birds too.

      • Panika MCD

        ornithology is totes nerdy. I’d say depending on your level, skiing gets very nerdy. backpacking and hiking…well, birding is nerd-central there.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      Paleoanthropology

      • Panika MCD

        nice!

      • yyyaz

        Sure beats just making things up as regular anthros are trained to do.

    • Weird Fishes

      I like reading technical naval architecture books while listening to old jazz. Plus making good BBQ meats for my friends and drinking craft beer from Brooklyn and Vermont.

      I also have a beard.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        I am “from VT” since age one! Now in WI. I have no beard. Give me red/white/rose’ or, on lowcarb days, bourbon. And bbq meats.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I have a feeling you’re going to find your next lover on this website.

        • Weird Fishes

          I can only dare to dream.

      • Count Awesome

        Beards are ok. Please don’t have a top knot. Lol

        • Weird Fishes

          Dear God no.

      • Zombishroom

        Go on…

        • Weird Fishes

          I also like long walks on the beach

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Former medical person, and current medical things enthusiast, lover of babies and DOGGIES ( until I am a Grandma). Enthusiastic cook who tries to be primal when paleo is too tough (due to kiddos).

      • Panika MCD

        wouldn’t being a Grandma make you more nerdy about babbies?

        • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

          Well, YES! and that would displace the DOGGIES, to be replaced with BABBIES!!!

          • Panika MCD

            but how will the babbies learn to walk without doggies to hold onto?

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Well, the doggies would still be around, they’d just lose their upper case status to the little bitty babbies.

          • Panika MCD

            I see…no I don’t. the doggies will still be living with you and sleeping in your bedroom. won’t the grands, if they stay with you have to sleep in their parent’s old room?

    • Jennifer R

      Old video games. I used to collect them, at one point I had over 900 hard copies and about 40 different consoles plus she duplicates.

      Also kink.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      History and law.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I maintain a sourdogh starter that is fed twice per day with 7 grams starter, 43 grams water and 34 grams flour, of which 3 grams is whole grain rye.

      And once a week or so I make 3 loaves of 15% whole grain sourdough or 40% rye .

      In which I use beakers. Goddamn I love fermentation. And science.

      • Panika MCD

        but when is your beer line coming out?

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I’m a fan of bread, we need to be friends!

    • SayItWithWookies

      Insects
      Crossword puzzles
      Photography
      Military history
      Conspiracy theories
      Failure, mostly engineering and military
      Hallucinogens
      Evolution
      WB Yeats
      Aviation
      Stromatolites
      Critical thinking
      That’s sort of a random sampling.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Ooh, I am a Jumbles Queen! I can also read upside down and backwards. Which may account for my Jumbles acumen. As I get older, I have a growing interest in DMT. No joke.

        • SayItWithWookies

          I can read backwards too. When I read that Da Vinci wrote in mirror script, I wrote everything backwards for a long time. Then I could read backwards with ease — so much so that sometimes when I approach a glass door and it has Push on one side and Pull on the other, I have to pause and figure out which one is facing me so I don’t jerk myself into a glass door that to everyone else had the instructions clearly written on it.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            I refer to my talents loosely as my Savantism. I find the upside – down reading much more useful than the backward. It’s kind of like code breaking. I often feel like there is something more to it, like there is some arcane language calling.

        • Panika MCD

          I can read upsidedown, not sure about backwards, but I’m pretty good with word puzzles of all kinds.

          • Count Awesome

            When I tutored about twenty years ago I could write upside down and do math upside down.

          • Panika MCD

            it’s like riding a bike!

          • Count Awesome

            Very much so. It was about maximizing time available.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            I am a weirdo. They are equal for me.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Word puzzles are my thing, too! I hope one day that my odd skills will extend into writing backward & maybe upside down… retirement goals.

        • Persistent Demme

          I write upside down.
          Crazy lefty here.
          Made studying music tough.
          (Voice and Music Ed. at The Eastman School in Roch. NY.
          The music had to be right side up to read, but my notes had to be upside down.)

      • Zombishroom

        I know a mushroom that grows.

      • Bemused Australian

        Knowing about conspiracy theories is very important *nods approvingly*

      • pstockholm

        Failure is an underrated talent.

    • Count Awesome

      “Fake news and alternative facts really turn me on!”
      –KAC

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Blech.

    • History, religion (study of, not practice of – I’m an atheist) Stephen King books, and Coca Cola (that last one might be more addiction than anything, but I do collect Coca Cola memorabilia).

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        I, too, chase the brown dragon, although I go for the Diet Coke.

      • shivaskeeper

        My MIL is all about 50’s Coke memorabilia.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Steven. King. Novels.

        We used to live in Bangor, and had occasion to chat in local places. was first approached in the Brown Bag eatery in Brewer, ME. SK was so personable and so kind. Very much enjoyed our brief interaction. Hubby and I used to read installments of The Green Mile to each other as the were released. Pre-Kids.

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Full disclosure – I’ve never been a nerd. I never thought politics was nerdy, but I guess that’s my one nerdy thing. My youth was awesomely misspent listening to music, smoking cigarettes, drinking, hanging out in clubs, using recreational drugs, having recreational sex, wearing fabulous clothes, meeting interesting people, and eating good food. I regret nothing, but the cigarettes. Don’t smoke, kids!

      • Panika MCD

        I do all those things and still find time to be a complete fucking nerd. however, yeah: cigarettes = worst. mistake. ever.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I’ve pretty much given up all my vices. Sigh…

          • Panika MCD

            I’m only in my early 30s. maybe you can help ween me off a few before I hit my mid-40s…

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            Sniffle…rub salt in my wounds, why don’t you?
            //Shakes fist at you and your youthiness

            To be honest, it’s like being a criminal, eventually you just age out of it. I WISH I could still go out and pound back 7 vodkas and dance all night long. Good luck getting me off the couch to get a Diet Coke these days.

      • Panika MCD

        politics is also one of the nerdiest–we have many sub-specialties!

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Apparently, I’m in the fold now. Yay!

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Full disclosure…you are a nerd. We all welcome you into the fold, and regret that you were denied status for so long.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          Yay! I’m finally a nerd, after all these years.

      • bluicebank

        I embraced nerdism when I decided I didn’t quite fit into the socail groups of the jocks, stoners and glad-handers (we called them “socious” because no one could spell that right).

        • Three Finger Salute

          I wasn’t really a math or science type, and never even quite fit with the goth and art kids. One because I couldn’t draw to save my life, and two because I really couldn’t get into the Marilyn Manson type of music. I did have my glasses intentionally stepped on a few times, and got straight A report cards, though. I eventually stopped wearing them altogether and to this day have never gotten a new pair because I’m still insecure about it. I’ll never forget reading Dorothy Parker’s famous statement about girls who wear glasses in English class, and it really stuck with me.

          But the school eventually stopped publishing the honor roll in the paper because it was almost like a Nixon Enemies List for the Queen Bees and jocks. You’d just get a letter sent home privately. Didn’t help either that the principal was a former cheerleader and herself the cheer coach — and that she was married to the football coach, who was the school administrator. The mean girls and the meatheads literally ran the place.

          I used to either skip lunch and go home hungry or sit on the floor because I never had a space in the cafeteria. Oddly enough, the one group who nobody liked who did occasionally invite me to sit with them? The Juggalos. Yes, there was an ICP fandom and they pretty much ran with each other. The only problem was, I never saw them often enough to make any friends — because they hardly ever showed up for school.

          So for the most part, I was a loner. Still am.

          • bluicebank

            Like your story. And I won’t patronize by saying anything pithy (mostly because I can’t come up with anything pithy).

            I had the opposite problem. Or rather, both problems. I was either loved or reviled by my peers, in alternating years, for reasons unknown to me, beginning since before kindergarten and through high school. This forced me into the arms of logic, and a social defense mechanism. In other words: Smiling faces (song below).

            It’s one thing to be popular and deal with that. It’s one thing to be unpopular and deal with that. It’s quite another thing to get both, which leads to the conclusion that most people don’t know what the hell they’re talking about.

            I am fortunate to have one true friend in life.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aYcDe3voww

    • Alex Grey

      English language, science (specifically physics and chemistry,) ponies, politics, history, computers, and anything relating to my East Asian Studies BA.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Grammar nerd here. Don’t give me no noun/verb disagreement, or tragic apostrophes. Also- argh! One of my worst bugaboos- A WHOLE ‘NOTHER. Gah.

        • Panika MCD

          Team Diagnostic Grammar!

        • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

          But do you know the that/which secret handshake?

          *slinks away with shifty eyes*

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            I know (and despise the misuse) both the that/which conundrum… imma gonna make up my own handshake, though…
            *shifty eyes returned twofold*

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            What about utilize vs use? Huh huh huh?

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            I read this Saturday morning and laughed aloud alone in my kitchen. The dogs are alarmed.
            (ETA: so, yes!)

        • Alex Grey

          And then there is the semi-colon…

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Semi-colons should only be used by the highly trained. I have been conducting a personal war against the overuse of colons.

          • Alex Grey

            I personally am put out, by the vast number of people who misuse, “literally.”

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Also, “arguably.”

          • Alex Grey

            If people are going to say that we should speak English in US America, they damn well should learn how to properly speak it first.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I’d also like to take this opportunity to speak out against the abominable use of “seen” in place of “saw.” AARGH!

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            IDK. I rather like the semi-colon; I find it useful in making ideas sound more conversational. (!)

        • yyyaz

          Do not make me split your infinitives.

    • Oh, and does hair dye count? Can you be nerdy about that? I dye my hair a lot. It’s purple now. I’m going turquoise next.

      • Panika MCD

        yeah, you can. especially if you know how not to fry your hair with bleach.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        *awards the home-chemistry merit badge*

      • Count Awesome

        You are such a girly girl. I don’t mean that as an insult at all. Quick story:
        I was buying cigarettes at the store across the street and the girl (she’s 25 or so) that works thwre was wearing a Marilyn Monroe shirt from the “Diamonds Are A Girls Best Friend” era but instead of diamonds there were stacks of money instead of diamonds. I told her that diamonds were more appropriate than the stacks of cash. She said she should “Bedazzle” it. I was amazed she even knew what it was so I asked. She said that she had her mom buy it for her when she was four or so and still has it because “oooh shiny!”. I told her that she’s such a woman for that. We both had a good laugh.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      I applaud this query…best thread in a long time!!

    • Three Finger Salute

      Vintage computers and gaming consoles. I miss my LC III that I learned a bit of HyperCard on as a kid. If I had enough money (or any money at all), I’d get an Amiga One. I’m always looking at eBay for old C64, Apple II, Atari, Tandy, Sega, Nintendo, Sinclair Spectrum, Packard Bell stuff. Not just equipment and the machines themselves, but manuals, magazines, household decor, coffee mugs, T shirts… Apple was particularly prolific in the kitsch market, selling everything from backpacks and watches to socks and even bed sheets for the truly die hard Mac user who slept with their Newton. Or a photo of young hippie Jobs. (#WhyNotBoth)

      Animation outside the major U.S. studios (Disney/WB). Most of which has gone under or been cannibalized by Disney and WB since the ’80s. Nelvana, DiC, Saban, Cinar, Studio Ghibli, Toei, Nippon, Filmation, Rankin-Bass, Aardman (Wallace & Gromit). Everyone distributes Spielberg’s titles except Disney, and of course he had Dreamworks. Don Bluth used to work for Disney but branched off on his own. It’s actually because of Nelvana and their iconic Ursa Major logo that I had already decided as a kid that I was going to move to Canada someday. The real home of the Care Bears.

    • Sister Suffragette

      Puzzles (crosswords, logic problems, etc.) and opera.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Kiri Te Kanawa.

        Also Deslibes Flower Duet brings tears. Every time.

        • Sally

          And if I hear “Nessun Dorma” from one more wanna be opera singer on AGT, I may stop watching!!

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      F. Scott Fitzgerald, “The Great Gatsby” in particular.

      I read it every summer which means I’ve read it at least 20 times and cliche or not, every time I find something I never noticed before.

      Gift that keeps on giving.

      • Panika MCD

        I’ve ever really been able to get into him….

        • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

          Well most of his work apart from TGG was to break into the writing business or to pay the bills. So I get that.

          But to me (and I am not alone in this) TGG is a fucking brilliant masterpiece.

          On one hand it works as a period piece story of the times, at worst.

          But at best, read it again, and again, and again, and you start to notice patterns, like color imagery, and things that appear not to be connected and then are connected later and…

          just fucking brilliance.

          Just one example: blindness vs sight

          The eyes of Dr. TJ Eckleberg
          Owl Eyes in the library

          Careless drivers:

          Daisy
          Jordan Baker
          Owl Eyes after the party

          I’ll stop but there’s much more.

          So sad that Fitzgerald knew it was a masterpiece when he wrote it but never lived to see it recognized as such.

          • yyyaz

            Took me decades to appreciate him. And, despite Papa’s glib reply, yes, the rich are different from you and I.

          • Panika MCD

            yeah, that sounds like why I don’t like Victorian lit either–I don’t like being hit over the head with symbolism. plus, poetry still seems much more interesting on that front. consider “Earthmoving Malediction” by Heather McHugh. is it about a breakup or a dead person?

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            Yeah but see that’s exactly the thing about TGG–it DOESN’T hit you over the head with symbolism etc. It’s more like that poem you reference—is it an interesting period piece or a statement of much broader ideas?

          • Panika MCD

            not really. it’s about a bunch of upper-class twits–one of whom is a very bad mommy and the other who committed a lot of fraud. why Tom is so obsessed with them, no one really knows.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            Agree to disagree on this.

          • Panika MCD

            no problem.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I have a large collection of hats, from ball caps to straw to those with with fabulous feathers, bows and googaws.

      • Zombishroom

        Most googaws Please.

        • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

          Sometime soon I will set them all out and take a picture of them.

    • Zombishroom

      Music, art, weed, horror movies, outsider art, books, plants. Stuff.

    • Bemused Australian

      Er… stuff.

      Economics (esp financial economics, development economics [inc public policy], international trade, economic history)
      PC Hardware
      Cars
      Sci-Fi novels
      B-Grade Horror & Sci-fi flicks
      Conspiracy Theories & Cults
      RPGs
      Existentialism & Phenomenology

    • handyhippie65

      books, history, science, sci fi, tools, definitely tools. i have lots of whatsits hanging around my garage.

      • handyhippie65

        oooo, and vehicles. i can tell you the make and model from just the grill. show me a part, and i’ll tell you what it is, what it does, and what it goes to. mostly, i’m not stupid enough to claim to know everything about anything.

        • Zombishroom

          Does hippie mean you’ve fixed a few VWs ? Seems to fit with your enthusiasm.

          • handyhippie65

            i used to make sand rails, and dune buggies out of them. they are one of the easiest vehicles to work on ever. always wanted an oval window, but they’re a really rare bird.

    • ZangoCrudmonger

      Jade collection, when I have extra scratch.
      Hydroponics, ahem.
      Used to tie flies madly, but moved away from my fav streams.
      Triumph cars.
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/abdc213621ccee0aeadb492517304ecc3cf776b15539070b8555f521192f3f2e.jpg

      • yyyaz

        Triumph motorcycles, yes. Cars? Definitely a masochist.

    • bluicebank

      I’ve nerdy about the fact the bird is the word.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Gc4QTqslN4

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Railroads, ships, books (intel/intrigue/conspiracies, biographies, politics (fiction: Gaddis, Pynchon, the Beats)), contemporary & outsider art, architecture, photography, cities, crime & the underworld.

  • Alex Grey

    Why can’t these womins understand, that cutting funding to women’s healthcare, is actually for their own benefit!?!?!!!1!!1one!!1

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Small lady brains. It’s a scientific fact, you can look it up in the Bible if you don’t believe me. Study it out.

      • Alex Grey

        Yep, that Bible is just chock full of empirical evidence. (Ooops, I think those last two words may have been a curse.)

      • shivaskeeper

        Small is not a needed qualifier. Lady brain already means small. You would have realized this already if you weren’t a lady with a lady brain.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I wish I had a good brain, like Donald Trump’s brain.

          • shivaskeeper

            It is the bigliest.

          • Sally

            It might be big, but the synapses seem to be lacking any electrical currents.

          • handyhippie65

            i’m so glad you don’t.

        • bluicebank

          Your observation assumes that a fathead is not also comprised of a thick skull.

      • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

        Corpus callous is much greater/denser in women than men. This, in my estimation, is the source of the “Men Are From Mars, Women From Venus”phenomenon .

        • shivaskeeper

          I call shenanigans. There is no way ladies have denser callouses.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Hehe

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Damn you , autocorrect!

          • shivaskeeper

            It is the Devil

        • Their are some other differences between male and female brains, but overall size is not one of them, nor is it actually that important for intelligence. It really is primarily about the connections which are much more variable between individuals than genders.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            The corpus callosum connects the two hemispheres and contributes to communications between the two hemispheres…

          • The gender split of the corpus callosum data was actually a little overstated although something is definitely there. But, the number of axons is not always equivalent to the number of synapses (connections). More synapses tend to indicate more processing power, i.e. more intelligence. Animals reared in more diverse and interesting environments most always have higher density of synapses in their brains.
            But mostly what I am arguing is that overall intelligence is not correlated with gender, even if processing style is somewhat correlated with gender. All of my experience in research and teaching suggests to me that you cannot predict overall intelligence or ability based on gender.

          • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

            Dang it. I was really clinging to that theory.

      • This is why in all my years of teaching advanced biology and chemistry I never had a class in which the boys outnumbered the girls. The math teacher who did the most advanced classes reported the same thing as well.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          So the ladies were trying to get their MRS degrees by meeting doctors in your biology classes? Sounds like typical gal behavior.

          • Your jokes are good, I’m just really upset right now after reading that Politico article. I absolutely hate it when we (society) devalue women, especially women’s intelligence. It hurts everyone so much.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            All we have left is laughter. I feel like we’re living in an episode of The Handmaid’s Tale.

          • You are absolutely right. Sometimes the frustration breaks through when I think about how many people have been forced into careers or lives based on false gender stereotypes. But you are right, we have to try to laugh and not get so angry we can’t do anything to improve things.

        • Alan

          Then when they go to college it’s about 3-1 males. At least in math.

          • Vagenda and Pee-ara

            I’ve always liked math, it’s so black and white, and understandable. When I was young, I was one of the few women I knew who liked math.

          • shivaskeeper

            Never like math as a pure discipline myself. Love it when I used it as a practical application though.

          • bluicebank

            I only “got” math when my mother made me learn that occult art (flash cards over summer recess, and how I hated it, but the shit worked.)

            So, a woman drilled the math into me, for which I am very grateful.

      • HazooToo
        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          One of my all time favorite movies!

          • HazooToo

            One of those movies you could watch several times a week and then not again for an entire year <3

      • Zombishroom

        You made me laugh P@V. Thank you. I did look it up in the bible and you’re right. Brain size is directly related to penis size. Sorry ladies who have no penises. Oddly hand size plays some role.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I’m glad I finally have another godly person on this board, that’s mostly full of heathens, atheists, dirty hippies, perverts (of both sexes!), libtards, snowflakes, etc…

      • handyhippie65

        can’t i just gouge out my eyes with a dull spoon instead?

      • Zombishroom

        I read your name as Vagenda and the Pee-Ra! Which rhymes with She-Ra so I figured you were one of the Masters of the Universe.

        • Vagenda and Pee-ara

          I am woman, hear me “Ra!”

      • bluicebank

        Yeah, but they have that extra rib they stole from us. I haven’t walked the same, since.

    • Bemused Australian

      Silly wimminz is not winninz! No health care required for the kitchen and laundry.

  • I just read an article in Politico that makes me really sad. Pres. Clinton established a commission on women’s issues to advise the white house. Pres. Bush immediately disbanded the commission. Pres. Obama restablished it, calling it the commission on women’s and girls’ issues. Trump has disbanded it again, saying that Ivanka can serve the same purpose. I think that really says it all on how much republicans/conservatives value women in society.

    • shivaskeeper

      As it ever was.

    • Zombishroom

      WHAT?!? Purpose does Ivanka serve?

      • HazooToo

        Shiny thing to appease the pussy-life-support-systems.

        • shivaskeeper

          Is it working, do you think?

          • HazooToo

            *unhinged laughter*
            *glass breaking*

            …. Nope.

          • shivaskeeper

            That was my take as well. But, not a lady so I thought I would ask.

          • Bemused Australian

            So you don’t feel comforted by her slave-shoes in any way?

          • HazooToo

            I would feel comforted if she went to her sweatshop and worked there under the same conditions for about ten years.

          • Bemused Australian

            Seems unlikely. Her hubby may be stamping license plates before this crazy ride is over, so that’s something at least.

          • HazooToo

            I would hope she ends up in prison as well.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Ha! She wouldn’t last 10 hours.

        • Zombishroom

          You are a genius. Is pussy support called grab-N-salve?

          • HazooToo

            Usually it is called “low IQ” and “pathetic” when it refuses to perform it’s proper function.

      • ariel_gee_398

        As far as token gestures go, she’s a convenient one?

        • pussygrabber in chief

          From now on, I’m referring to Ivanka as Token Gesture.

      • miss_grundy

        She has a vagina…….

        • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

          Don’t forget the boobs and ass. Cheetolini certainly doesn’t

      • jesterpunk

        They needed a body to fill an office near the president?

      • Sally

        She loos nice in her Chinese made sweat shop dresses and her knock off shoes, also make in Chinese sweat shops. Plus, her butt seems to be Jared’s favorite resting place when his hand is tired.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      They don’t really want women in society.

      • handyhippie65

        well, kinda. they do want them in the kitchen makin smmiches.

        • Yeah, but that doesn’t involve doing anything for us. They think we’re interchangeable and replaceable. Wear one out, get a newer, shinier one.

          • handyhippie65

            i can honestly say, as a widower, some of you are irreplaceable.

      • miss_grundy

        They only want women for their vaginas and to make sammiches. Other than that, pffft.

        • shivaskeeper

          I was going to say something like this.

        • jesterpunk

          Also clown cars too, see the Duggars/ quiverfull “movement”.

        • Three Finger Salute

          They actually don’t want or need women at all. Silicon Valley is the wildcard. It’s dominated by libertarian douchebros who actually do want to use A.I. to usher in a real-life Stepford Wives scenario. These guys jack off to Westworld, Ex Machina and Ghost in the Shell, and want life to imitate art. The Handmaid’s Tale is depressing to them not because the women are oppressed, but because they are real. Real people get old and saggy and say ouch when you hit them. Sometimes they get “overclocked” and can’t perform at maximum capacity. Robot people don’t. They just bend over and give a BJ when the right keystrokes are entered.

          They only “vote Democrat” because they want cheap foreign labor and feel they have to pay lip service to “diversity,” whereas Trump wants to close off the U.S. as a Hermit Kingdom and clearly doesn’t give a shit about minorities and women. They don’t really care about the human lives of immigrants and they certainly don’t want girls messing up their utopian Pornhub. They’re apolitical Randroids, who more or less line up with Republicans on the psychopathy index. They see government as being an inefficient and obsolete “meatspace” solution, for which the technocrat elite can fix for their own benefit (and to hell with everyone else). But they like it when Republicans give corporations carte blanche to divorce themselves from social responsibility.

          The future of American politics has already arrived. Donald Trump’s natural heirs (hairs?) are Travis Kalanick and Peter Thiel. “In lulz we trust.” The United States of 4chan, Inc.

          • Persistent Demme

            Where do you get your information?
            Of course there are some like this, but my experience is different.
            It’s not this black and white.

      • BeachBum

        In power.

    • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

      I am an Oldz feminist and find it very depressing.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      But, but, both sides are the same!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        …but Hillary’s emails!!!

      • Persistent Demme

        Hillary’s speeches!

    • Sally

      All KellyScam needs to know is that the word “woman’ is not in the GOP health care bill-not once. So go on, precious, tell us what we don;t know about your boss and his plans for us.

    • bluicebank

      Though a questionable practice, I believe Ivanka needs to go into regressive memory therapy. Just show her some photos of her and daddy, and put her under hypnosis.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      You gave me teh sad.

  • HazooToo
  • miss_grundy

    So, Rachel Maddow tonight mentioned the new number of millions of Americans who can lose their health insurance due to Dolt 45’s latest utterance on the AHCA. That number is 32 million.

    • bluicebank

      The number of people I estimate will die if Trump gets his way: AOT,K

    • ariel_gee_398

      “Hm…People are really pissed off that 22 million people will lose insurance. How can I turn this around? I know!”
      Once again, you see how he lost money running a casino….

      • David Chaillou

        np. He’s going to distract us by getting North Korea to nuke South Korea. Should work.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    My wife asked/ordered me to stop offering people switchel.

    • jesterpunk

      Turkey Hill gives that stuff away for free when you buy other drinks.

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        My wife would be very upset with them.

        • jesterpunk

          But its free, I havent tried it because vinegar in juice is weird but they always try and get me to take some.

          • UncleTravelingMatt

            You should try it. It is surprisingly refreshing.

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Isn’t that some lemonadey- ish, summery, old timey, home-madey stuff?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Yeah. Made with ginger, vinegar, and maple syrup/molasses/honey.

  • HazooToo
    • jesterpunk

      4?

      • Alan

        I’ve got 5.

        • jesterpunk

          I see 4, the one on the door, the old lady in the car, the guy with pants up to his neck and the one in the background. Where is the 5th?

          • Pinkham’s Law

            To the left of the license plate, there’s a guy kneeling. You can see his feet – in sandals – and his butt – in blue shorts – and part of his torso – in a black shirt.

          • jesterpunk

            Damn missed that one.

          • Alan

            Behind the car kneeling.

      • HazooToo

        Alan got it! I think.

        • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

          You think? Well what’s the answer?

          Also too is that Roger Stone in the white pants?

          • HazooToo

            Nah, the dude in the white pants doesn’t look like he’s going to try to dox me for buying the exact gallon of milk he wanted to buy.

    • SeeTrain65

      This isn’t one of those “Is the dress blue and black or white and gold” kinda things, is it?

      Because I always fuck those things up.

      • Count Awesome

        No joke. In college for American History the professor stated on the first day “History is full of bias. We won’t talk about Andrew Jackson in this class at all because I think he’s a racist piece of shit. I have other biases, but that’s the big one.”
        ETA: same professor also asked on the first day of class “Let’s take a vote, who here wants to be graded on the curve?” Almost the entire class voted for it until he went to the chalkboard and explained “On a true curve, half of you have already failed and it’s the first day.”

    • Count Awesome

      AOT, K?

    • pussygrabber in chief

      At least 7.

      • HazooToo

        5 visible, but I suspect there are more unseen…

        • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

          I don’t get it. Let’s start with this. I only see four. Please name the five?

          • shivaskeeper

            There is one behind the front bumper wearing blue shorts and a black shirt. The old man outside the car. An old woman inside the car. The man on top holding the door open. The woman in the background with the bright dress on,

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I totally missed the one behind the bumper until you mentioned it.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            I still cant see it.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Look to the left of the license plate. There is a foot with a sandal and blue shorts and the black-clad shirt on the curved back of the wearer.

          • shivaskeeper

            He’s crouched down. All you can see is part of his ass, a bit of the shirt and his sandals. Look for the sandals in line with the edge of the license plate.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            OK. Got it, now can see it. Thanks!

          • shivaskeeper

            He blends in and looks like part of the car. The sandals were the giveaway.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            I don’t see the sandals either. Help me someone!

          • HazooToo

            Sandal dude behind car, old lady inside car, other guy climbing out the door, Mr Longpants, and the woman in the I-think-it’s-a-sari.

          • mfp

            seriously, what the fuck is everyone seeing?…4…four fucking people…big pants old man, person inside car, guy on top of car getting out the door, woman in red dress walking down the street…i’m not that fucking drunk, someone please point out the rest of the imaginary peoples

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            Scroll down a bit for a description of the 5th person. Hint: to the left of the license plate.

          • mfp

            ok, got it…but 7?…nah, dont think so

          • pussygrabber in chief

            I think there are two people on the lefthand side of the picture in the background.

    • shivaskeeper

      I see 5.

    • Bemused Australian

      42. It’s always 42.

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        I think that’s a different question, actually.

        • Bemused Australian

          ‘Everything’ was specified.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      You know, the reflection of the photographer is there too, just obscured.

      I get 6. Three direct images, and 3 reflections (including my theoretical photog).

      * ah, the blue shorts guy too, so 7*

      • HazooToo

        It’s like a real life Where’s Waldo…

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Oh good God I finally got to five and now you’re upping the ante.
        Why does everyone hate meeeeeeeee?

    • jaspersdad

      This is Trump like distraction.

      The only one anybody should be looking at it is the guy with pants to his armpits.

      • Bemused Australian

        Maybe there is another person inside his pants.

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Roger Stone, right? I KNEW IT!

        • Bemused Australian

          His forehead is similarly shaped…

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        He looks pleased with himself. Like he got dressed that morning, looked in the mirror, and thought, “Yep, I still got it!”

        • Bemused Australian

          He’s looking pretty slick. If he can graduate to getting his entire torso inside then it’ll be a sartorial achievement for the ages.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            That is funny!

        • jaspersdad

          Reminds me of my dear old dad and his grey sweats.

    • Alex Grey

      How many Trump voters are in this picture? I suspect AOTK.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Depends on how you define in. Man.

    • Zombishroom

      Better question: why that car on it’s side and why that guy’s pants so big?

      • Zombishroom

        REALLY!!! Look at those PANTS!!!!

      • David Byrne has really aged?

    • MilwaukeeKent

      Is that a dead poodle under the car or is he just glad to see me?

    • TheFamilyThalamusPersists

      Oh, jesus… 6? The obvious four, a squatter behind, and …one under?

  • btwbfdimho

    Sounds familiar: about POTUS Andrew Johnson, 1866:
    Insincere as well as stubborn, cunning as well as unreasonable, vain as well as ill-tempered, greedy of popularity as well as arbitrary in disposition, veering in his mind as well as fixed in his will, he unites in his character the seemingly opposite qualities of demagogue and autocrat, and converts the Presidential chair into a stump or a throne,

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a56076/andrew-johnson-atlantic-donald-trump/

    • Alan

      I didn’t see stupid as shit.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Maybe that’s more of a modern construction…?

    • bluicebank

      I dated a woman who was Andrew Johnson reincarnated. I should have known better, as I’m part Cherokee.

      Fucking Andrew Jackson.

      Edit: Shit: Andrew Jackson.

    • Count Awesome

      At least the people back then were smart enough not to elect him with either the popular vote or electors vote.

    • Add orange skin and a fat ass and you could be describing Trump.

    • Ωbjectifier

      Well he didn’t fuck things up too much, right?

      What’s the worst that could happen?

      • Count Awesome

        Maybe a Pence presidency?

        • Ωbjectifier

          President Ryan.

          • Count Awesome

            Doubt it. He’s probably not smart enough to not be involved in this mess, plus he had to give a slobbery, wet kiss Trump’s ring a year ago.

          • shivaskeeper

            I suspect he is going to go down the same way Pence will. Knowing about everything and deliberately looking away.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            Nuh uh.

        • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

          Nope.

        • shivaskeeper

          One of them is going to get the spot. Pence, Ryan, Hatch, Tillerson, Mnuchin, Mattis, Sessions, Zinke, Perdue, Ross, Acosta, Rice, Carson, Perry DeVose, Shulkin, and Kelly*. In that order. They will not all go away or go down with Two Scoops. The rules we have call for an order of succession, not a new vote.

          *I left Elaine Chao out since as a naturalized citizen and not natural born she in ineligible and would be skipped in the chain.

          • jesterpunk

            2018, Dem majority in the house and Pence and Trump impeached. Right wing heads explode when Pelosi becomes POTUS.

          • shivaskeeper

            Possible. But that is not right now, and that assumes Dems turn out for a midterm and we get over the inclination to do a circular firing squad.

          • Count Awesome

            Census and Gerrymandering seems to make that unlikely.

          • shivaskeeper

            Getting our friends off their asses to vote would be the best thing to counter that.

          • Count Awesome

            Maybe, but there are too many safe Republican districts.
            Side note: I’m sure no one uses “Trump” as a safe word.

          • shivaskeeper

            Also true. There are also districts where no Dem runs because they might lose. Also a fucking stupid strategy. You cannot win a fight if you don’t even show up.

          • Three Finger Salute

            Nice fantasy.

            Needs moar Trudeau riding a unicorn while the WH burns down.

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            Hatch.

          • shivaskeeper

            Out of the current crop he would be the best of the worst choices.

          • Count Awesome

            She and Ted Cruz should hang out.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            It’ll be Pence or Ryan, because the Dems will wuss out and want to keep their powder dry

          • shivaskeeper

            I think that will depend on where Robert Muller’s investigation ends up and how many skeletons he unearths.

            And that keeping the powder dry thing is fucking stupid.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            If we’re lucky he’ll pull Pence in. If we’re really lucky they’ll get ZEGS and the turtle too. If we’re really really lucky it’ll happen in 2019 after we take back the house

          • shivaskeeper

            Everything I had heard about Muller and his people say tells me they are going to follow the evidence. If the evidence points to other people involved they will get swept up in it.

            Personally I don;t think Pence or ZEGS actively colluded with an adversarial foriegn power. I think they knew it was happening and looked the other way. The most important thing that Mueller is going to have to find on them is what did they know and when did they know it. I also don’t think Two Scoops himself was actively colluding or compromised on any level other than the Russian dirty money*, but the people around him damn sure were. It’s going to be shady financials coupled with obstruction of justice that bring him down.

            *I don’t think anyone tried to flip him as a spy. He wouldn’t be worth the risk as he is unable to keep his month shut. He’s also far too easy to push in the right direction with some praise and ego fluffing, so there is no need to expose anyone to flip him.

    • jesterpunk

      People are talking about Andrew Jackson, he is being recognized more and more.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Stonewall Johnson, really terrific guy!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Stonewall “The Rock” Johnson

      • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

        Andrew Jackson threw an inaugural party that trashed the White House:
        https://thesmartset.com/article09300801/

        • jesterpunk

          Hey I never said he was being recognized for anything good.

          • SeekingCovfefeBarbie

            I was just thinking about how trump is trashing the white house. Maybe not by throwing wild parties, just exuding bad juju. We’ll have to hold a gathering of Shamans with sage sticks to purify it after he leaves.

          • Mike Steele

            If only to dislodge Palin/Nugent vibes

          • jesterpunk

            After he leaves it might be time to gut it again and rebuild the entire thing. I am sure there is another baseball park they could bury the waste in.

            https://www.whitehousehistory.org/collections/president-trumans-renovation

          • bookish

            Rachel called Trump’s recent Twitter behavior repugnant. I think we need Betty White with her antlers and an innocent puppy to reclaim out house for good.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Or a Hazmat team with firehoses

    • akryan

      I’ve been wondering whether or not Trump will take the title of “worst president ever” from Andrew Johnson. Spooky how similar they sound.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Biggest Johnson ever! Bigger than 7/11!

      • MilwaukeeKent

        Honestly I think in six short months he’s taken the title of worst ever, tiny hands down.

  • GreenGoldSharpie

    On a different note, I ran across this fucking lunatic today. My first run in with a nutty celebrity.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austin_Ruse

    and

    https://www.buzzfeed.com/lesterfeder/trump-administration-appoints-anti-transgender-activist-to

    It’s mostly me and a few others punching him with science over and over, but I am legit worried this crazy fucker might do something. >.>

    • jesterpunk

      “To put it simply, a boy claiming gender confusion must now be allowed
      in the same shower, bathroom, or locker room with my daughter,”

      But he is totally cool with Trump in the locker rooms?

    • Zombishroom

      She seems nice.

    • yyyaz

      I feel for you, and all the rest of us, who are being sold down the river by all the lame-brain assholes globally who take comfort from the worthless fuckwads squatting in our government offices. They have no business even to visit as anyone but a representative of the lunatic fringe, yet they have been given a license to destroy Western Civilization. We’re all fucked.

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Honestly, this was my first experience with anyone beyond your random nutter.

        This guy belongs in a straight jacket, and he plowed my Facebook photos just to deadname me. The plus side is a basic google search reveals how unhinged this useless human being is.

        I kinda feel like I could walk into a court room with a ream of his shit and sue the fuck out of him if he fucks with me.

        • Ωbjectifier

          plowed my Facebook photos just to deadname me.

          Huh?

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            I’ve long sinced locked down my FB profile, but I missed my pics.

            He literally used a pic of my boy name praising me as a teacher to deadname me as a guy.

            That was his final comment.

        • yyyaz

          Should you ever decide to do exactly that, check with the ACLU first. Just remember your Voltaire:
          “I have been bankrupt twice: Once when I lost a lawsuit, the other when I won one.”

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            Oh, I have Lambda Legal on my phone thanks to my shitty insurance. Them and the ACLU will be my besties if th is dick comes running.

            That said, he’s more interested in fucking peopel at the UN because no one in the West will tolerate his crazy.

          • yyyaz

            Sigh. To paraphrase myself, we are doomed and I don’t know whether to cheer or pity the survivors.

          • Zombishroom

            Puppies, kittens, candy, cookies and kind thoughts.

        • Maclare🌮

          I’m sorry this loon tried to fuck with you… what a nutjob.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      He seems nice

      • GreenGoldSharpie

        Yeah, if you consider a Catholic nut who is aligned with anti-LGBT murderers abroad to push his agenda.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          I’m glad you locked down your FB, those assholes can be dangerous

          • GreenGoldSharpie

            A crazy TERF made me do that.

    • shivaskeeper

      One of the certainties in life is that any American Christian of any sect who belongs to a national group with the word Family anywhere in the organization’s name, that Christian is an unabashed and rabid bigot.

  • So, apparently Joy liked Greta’s tweet about getting shitcanned from MSNBC and suddenly wingnuts are all woke to the horrors of cyberbullying, and they know exactly who does it: uppity black ladies with morning news shows!

    https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tEjzh3Zdf_Q/V1ltIj4pt0I/AAAAAAAAheY/Xm9QfrhOWxkKv85iKg5vHfWRBMIV-0XZgCLcB/s1600/63594749.jpg

    • Count Awesome

      Where Melania. She needs to address this!?!??

    • All she did was like the tweet? It’s Twitter – it doesn’t give you little emoji faces like Facebook does. That could be an accident, but it could just as easily mean support, comfort, plain old acknowledgement. Or it could mean “bye bitch”, which is fine too. But that wouldn’t actually be my first guess.

      • That was my thought, as well. At worst, it’s just some pretty epic shade.

  • After all, if Trump hadn’t tweeted about Mika’s face shooting blood at him like a Gila Monster

    Uh…. that would be the horned lizard

    Pedantic Bastard is pedantic.

    • Bemused Australian

      Herpetological pedantry is very important.

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Particularly when we have a president* who is ruled by his lizard brain.

        • Count Awesome

          Is that a euphemism for very small, microscopic trouser snake?

          • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

            Nah its a thing that means roughly our purely animal instincts to survive vs our more evolved behavior.

            The later of which Donnie appears to have none of, by the way.

            Also too not at all to discount your tiny trouser snake theory.

          • yyyaz

            Jim Morrison never knew what a real Lizard King could be.

    • Count Awesome

      He must have gotten confused about a woman’s menstrual cycle and ability to have squirting orgasm. Both of which he knows absolutely nothing about and depends on hearsay.
      I am truly, wholly, sincerely sorry to every woman here for this non-comment.

      • Alex Grey

        He might have seen internet porn…

      • Zombishroom

        Is the lady squirting orgasm just Pee? is there a Russian VHS documentary in which our president enjoys it?

        • yyyaz

          Fake prenisdent creams jeans over fake orgasm.

          • Zombishroom

            He’s just like me! He says what I’m thinkin!

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Fake spews!

    • shivaskeeper

      Ha. I covered that one about 2400 comments ago.

      • Wow, so many comments to read…

        • shivaskeeper

          IK,R? I just happened to be on a break form what I was doing when this article was posted.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Horny toads FTW!

    • yyyaz

      Horny toad or GTFO.

      • Bobathonic

        Are they GREAT Horny Toads?

  • HazooToo
    • Count Awesome

      “Tomatoes are a hell of a drug!”
      –Nobody ever

      • Three Finger Salute

        You mean tomahtoes?

        “Better call the whole thing off, I say I say.” -Jeffbo Leghorn

      • Alex Grey

        They are in the nightshade family.

    • TJ Barke

      I freebase hollandaise.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Knew I hit rock bottom when I tried to get a rinse off a spoon of canned clams.

        • Alex Grey

          Make sure you only shoot up the liquid…

          • Bad Tom

            YOU MONSTER!

          • Alex Grey

            No, you snort the rest!

        • Zombishroom

          Absolute bottom. You’re a MONSTER, but, you were out of control. All is forgiven.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Only losers use clams

          • Zombishroom

            You got mussels or oysters?

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Oysters are the fentanyl of the mollusc world

      • Three Finger Salute

        Now you know what’s in the Hidden Valley.

        • TJ Barke

          All the primo shit, man.

        • Count Awesome

          A Trump free world, just like “Brigadoon”?

          • Three Finger Salute

            Apparently it’s hidden somewhere in Canada.

        • yyyaz

          Ummm, fresh, organic clam juice?

    • Alex Grey

      I’m glad weed is legal in Oregon, so I don’t have to smoke that crap…

      • Zombishroom

        Well, the convenience is nice, (I’m in WA), and the brown people aren’t getting arrested any more because of weed.

        • Three Finger Salute

          …until Colonel Nathan Bedford Jefferson sends the Johnny Reb DEA movin’ on up to the Pacific Northwest side.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            If Jeffy tries that the shit will hit the fan- too many straights are making bank off legal MJ and they won’t put up with the elf fucking up their gig

    • Three Finger Salute

      Cute story. My grandmother used to make pasta every Monday evening for supper. There’s two kinds of sauce that everyone in the family can agree on: “traditional” (basically just tomato sauce with nothing in it) and marinara. Nobody likes the chunky or the basil or the onion etc. etc., just plain and simple. So, she went in the cabinet one night and found a jar. I think it was Prego or one of those name brands.

      Anyway, her eyesight was failing (she had cataracts) and so she asked my mother to read the label. “Is this the right one?” My mother said, “That’s the only one we buy.” Grandma said, “no, there’s two kinds. One is regular, and this one’s the marijuana sauce. I think that’s the one the kids like.” Mom said “no, no, marinara! Not marijuana. Marinara.” Grandma laughed. “Marijuana, marinara, hey, whatever it is, it’s good enough.” I said to mom later that night, “And here I thought those little green things in it were just oregano!”

      • HazooToo

        lol, that’s fucking adorable!

        • Three Finger Salute

          Sadly, she passed away last Father’s Day at 97. Which was apt in a way, in that after my grandfather died at 50 from cancer (never met him) she took on the “man duties” in the house (yard work, leaky pipes, getting up on ladders to do… whatever things people get up on ladders to do). Anyone can have a good work ethic, but for some reason that WW2 generation is known for it being a trademark. ILGWU (International Ladies’ Garment Workers’ Union) member all her life who picketed and went on strikes for fair working conditions. Very proud of her union membership, and disgusted to see what big business has done to factory workers — in fact all workers. She liked FDR because of the New Deal, but couldn’t stand Reagan because of his hostility to unions. And she didn’t think a movie actor would make for a good president either. Boy, if only she could see this idiot today…

          • not_vh

            it’s rare to find people of that personal caliber these days.

          • HazooToo

            She might be wearing a pussy hat and calling Congress to yell at them. My Mom passed away last year, too. She was very dependent on Medicare, and hated Trump before he even ran for President. Still miss her very much.

      • I know a joke

        Vaguely related: I used to know a guy who used marijuana as a steak seasoning.

        It kinda works?

        • Alex Grey

          Doubtful, unless it was made into marijuana steak butter first.

          • I know a joke

            I have no idea of what he did, unfortunately. It tasted OK though.

          • yyyaz

            I forget what temp you need to make the THC bioavailable, but sauteeing it on the steak should work.

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            Mebe, if you cook ’em like Donnie

          • I know a joke

            also I just want to stress that this was a flavor thing, not some weird getting-high-off-steak thing.

          • Alex Grey

            Then it was probably a waste of the marijuana. NM I’m too lazy to type an entire paragraph about how the flavor would be inconsistent between different varieties. I will just point out that there are far more cost effective, and consistent, herbs that can be used.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Must have been a helluva barbecue…

    • That is a very trench(iant) observation.

    • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

      I thought marinara was that dance craze in the mid 90s.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Not Melaniarena?

    • yyyaz

      Whoa, wait until they get a load of the Roquefort, or, the King of Stink, Limburger.

      • Count Awesome

        More like Bleu d’Auvergne. It’s a more mild tasting bleu, but it has a tendency to smell like piss/ammonia because it is usually sold in half wheels wrapped in foil and cryo-vacuumed.

        • yyyaz

          Ever smelt real Limburger? Imagine a dead skunk in the bottom of a dumpster for a month at a Dairy Queen in Phoenix in July.

          • Count Awesome

            Yes I have. I once had a French Cheese where the literal French to English translation is “Cow Patty”. It was a soft-ripened cheese covered and wrapped in dead brown/dead leaves. It was so pungent it felt like my mouth was burning. It is up there with the most pungent thing I’ve ever eaten along with century/thousand year egg and St. Marcelline cheese (which tastes like Stilton rind). Bleu D’Auvergne is beautiful after it airs out for an hour or so, but because it’s cryo-vacced it smells like someone pissed everywhere.

          • yyyaz

            Fromage est le vie. (pardon my French)

          • Zippy W Pinhead

            There are a couple loading docks at Phoenix resorts that smell just like that in the summer

      • Ωbjectifier

        Moe, Larry, CHEESE,

      • Three Finger Salute

        The King of Stink is on AM talk radio. Do change that dial.

    • bluicebank

      There is only one way I know you can go wrong with balsamic vinegar: fry with it.

      Go ahead, try it. You will evaporate it into a hot sauce that reaches a respectable Scobe Scale of “omg I need water and lots of it.” Otherwise, balsamic is manna from heaven.

  • Okay just finished reading the Politico article about Trump and Morning Joe calling each other liars over the National Enquirer blackmail story. My biggest takeaway, the head of the National Enquirer is known as David Pecker and he is good friends with Trump. How have we not been making dick jokes about Trump and his Pecker at the Enquirer. We have been remiss.

    • Bad Tom

      I can say with authority that David Pecker was not named Pecker because he “pecked at his food.”

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      Trump and his administration are a veritable smörgåsbord for snarkers. It’s hard to give every single dish, every tasty morsel, every dainty tidbit the care and consideration it deserves.

    • Count Awesome

      Trump’s dick has to be the biggest, smallest joke ever.

      • bluicebank

        I’ll file that under: “Melania’s Secret Diary.”

      • Alex Grey

        Was there a dick joke in there, or was it too small for me to see?

    • bluicebank

      Haven’t read this observation, but if I were a National Enquirer attorney, I would advise dumping whatever they have on Mika & Joe. Because conspiracy in a blackmail is far more serious than a libel suit. And Donnie just made it a blackmail. The National Enquirer is fucked on this.

      • jesterpunk

        Trump just threw his friend under the bus?

        • bluicebank

          “We’re going to need a bigger bus.”

    • puredog

      Indeed. The dick jokes write themselves, which will save tread for Dok, Evan, 5$, Becca, Martini Man, et al.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      So, some place the pecker is the big head.

  • Mike Steele

    Lady MS: Following a great Italian lunch w/friend at local venue, picked up a t-shirt for MS that reads ‘Legalize Marinara’. Elsewhere in the news: getting guardedly excited by WSJ thing about recently-deceased ‘Mr. Smith’, whose records implicate everybody and his birddog in Russian filth. Of course, that’s Rupert’s rag now, but what motive would HE have for sinking Donald? Questions are starting to circulate about what led to 81 yo Mr. Smith’s demise. Posted elsewhere that this sounds somewhat ‘Killary’, and makes me feel like Jim Comey, ‘somewhat nauseous’, but the Russkies know how to silence someone real good – and it would certainly send a message to anyone else (looking at you, Steve and KellyAnne) who might ‘have a story to tell’.
    Will rely on Rachel to get to the bottom of this cesspool.

  • I know a joke
    • jaspersdad

      That’s just sad.

    • TJ Barke

      FUCK. THIS. ADMIN.

      • bluicebank

        Sideways, please.

        • Zombishroom

          With votes shaped like broken glass?

          • Jamoche

            With ballots folded into an origami buttplug.

          • Zombishroom

            A thousand paper cuts in the rectum! I like the way you think.

          • Jamoche

            I can’t take the credit – it’s a classic from the Internet-Scientology wars.

        • bluicebank

          Blessed wonketeers, you haz all the rejoiners.

      • Alex Grey

        Not even with 10 condoms!

    • yyyaz

      Look on the bright side: the seats have not (yet) been filled with creationists (sic).

      • Mike Steele

        Of course they have. Check out EVERY cabinet member, and heads of all new ‘commissions’ (Falwell Jr., etc.) tasked with completing our conversion to a Christo-fascist theocratic idiocracy. It’s a done deal, folks…only a matter of time.

        • Jim Gormley

          what…wait…JF, Jr? OMFG…he has been chosen to guide higher education!!!!! No…this shit must stop!

          • yyyaz

            National strike. As if.

      • akryan

        teach the controversy!

        • Alex Grey

          Just make sure to keep fake things like “science,” or “history,” away from it…

    • It’s official, the U.S. has totally ceded the future to China and the E.U.

      • yyyaz

        Next to surpass us, NPRK.

        • Three Finger Salute

          Nope. Nigeria. Trump owes bigly money to some prince or something. Better look through his emails to see if he was collaborating with George Soros.

      • Count Awesome

        Only because we’ve been waylaid by jackassery.

      • Roni Raven, Undercovfefe Agent

        Worse, actually. Has ceded our future to Russia.

        Donnie and much of the Republican Party is involved, but even those not involved don’t have the balls to make a stand, because party over country, always.

        I can’t take credit for this because I’m paraphrasing something I read on the innerwebs somewhere today, but anyone who thinks Donnie’s attempts to blackmail/extort favorable coverage from the MSM are limited to Joe and Mika is kidding themselves.

        So who knows what we’re not being told due to this administration’s tactics.

        There were good reasons our founding peeps valued a free press, which is exactly why Donnie and his crew are trying to neuter it with every weapon they can come up with.

        • Three Finger Salute

          “There is no truth in the news, and no news in the truth.”

          -Some Russian guy, when the whole staff of Pravda and Izvestia got blackmailed by the Third International Enquirer.

          • yyyaz

            Hours ago I posted that Sputnik has purchased a D.C. FM station and is going live there as we speak.

        • That’s my worry. Morning Joe isn’t exactly hard news, so if Trump goes after them, why wouldn’t he go after some of the reporters who might actually break some substantial news? Maybe one who has something better to hide than an affair that’s obvious to everyone who’s watched the show for five minutes.

          On the other hand, maybe the stupid will protect us. If Trump and his minions were smarter, they’d have done a lot more damage already. This Joe and Mika thing is as sloppy and dumb as anything else. The two of them being together wasn’t exactly top secret, and even if anyone who cared about it hadn’t already figured it out, how much crossover could there possibly be between the Morning Joe audience and the National Enquirer readership? That is some sad, low-energy blackmail. With any luck, other attempts at blackmail will be just as stupid.

    • Count Awesome

      Breaking News: Trump sends water diviners to California to make sure a serious drought never happens again.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      They’re planning to appoint Ken Ham to head the office.

      • shivaskeeper

        Not even as a joke.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Here is the essence of the stupid. Noah was sure a cataclysmic climate change event was coming. Did he sit on his ass and do nothing? No! He got his old fanny in gear and did what he could to save the planet. He tried to make his neighbors understand a shit storm was coming. He built a monster multi purpose device to save what he could. Yet modern day Xtians, like Noah’s neighbors, are fine with ignoring the fucking warnings. Where the fuck is the biblical understanding in that?

        • They aren’t analyzing the story so that they can apply the lessons from it to parallel situations in modern life. They’re taking it literally and at face value with zero analysis. You just put way more thought into it than a bible literalist does. I bet there are plenty of non-literalists that would agree with your interpretation, though.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            May I say, that was one well written fuking reply.

    • Mike Steele

      What is the sound of one vocal cord laughing?

    • SadDemInTex

      Jezusfuckingchrist

    • Alex Grey

      They are probably afraid that Bill Nye might infiltrate the office, and do science…

    • Phoenixdoglover

      It’s better this way. At least there is no pretense.

      The same applies over at US EPA. In the short term, the agency will be gutted in the service of the mighty petro-dollar. The State EPA’s will decline over a much longer trajectory. Some will not decline at all.

      Our system of government provides for replacing these assholes. By voting and by impeachment. Let’s focus on defending and exercising those options.

      Toward that end, a big Fuck You to the phony White House voting commission and their transparent agenda.

    • David Chaillou

      Were they the leaders?

  • Think we’re going to get Morning Joe congressional testimony? That could be fun.

    https://twitter.com/TrueFactsStated/status/880948676935503873

    • Bad Tom

      Stupid Watergate gets stupider and stupider.

      • It’s a bottomless well.

      • Ωbjectifier

        Gordon Liddy spinning in his grave.

        • Mike Steele

          Thanks…wasn’t sure he was dead.

          • Suse

            He’s not dead, but alive and allegedly well at age 86.

          • Alex Grey

            Schrödinger’s pundit?

          • Ωbjectifier

            No, he died in a tragic candle accident.

          • Mike Steele

            Amazed Donald hasn’t hired him for something (or has he…?)

    • shivaskeeper

      Probably not open testimony. The open testimony is partially for show to make it look like things are happening and more about getting the testimony into the Congressional record unaltered.

    • Mike Steele

      Lady MS: Personally hope that Mueller, like Starr, goes so far afield that he hearkens back to that dead girl in Joe’s office. It was Scar and Mika – among so many others in MSM – who brought us to this very ugly and dangerous place.

      • I haven’t forgiven them for that, but blackmail is still illegal, even stupid blackmail of shitty people. The more charges Mueller can throw at Trump and co., the better.

        • Mike Steele

          No doubt, and I’m certain Jared was the go-between, since they all schmooze in the same circles.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Somebody will have to go to jail Jared.

      • shivaskeeper

        He already has started that. That was why Newt was spouting off last week about Muller.

        • yyyaz

          I hate Newt more than I hate vintage Lucas electrics.

          • shivaskeeper

            At one time he was cashiered by his own party for being a hypocritical piece of shit. Now he is a leading voice and elder statesman for them.

            And, yes, hatred with the intensity of a thousand burning Death Stars.

          • Bobathonic

            Come on, give some credit – the Prince of Darkness gave us intermittent wipers!

          • shivaskeeper

            It was late and I missed the reference. Luca electrics, as in Joe Lucas, the inventor of the short circuit Lucas? Here is a handy fuse guide for you:

            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c653f537d19dfa5b6eb41441a74e6a149e610a50f1946cdc18961dc5ceef8fe2.jpg

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Donald will dig his own grave. Just give him a bit more time.

      (Mueller team investigates. Donald reacts, raising additional points of obstruction. Mueller team investigates new points. Donald escalates reaction….)

      But the GOP “leadership” will be fine with this. They have no love of Donald. The good Reverend Mike Pence waits in the vestry, with his pious smile and his list of sinners.

      Drumpf’s crimes wont be the trigger. GOP internal polling will do it.

      *stares at the moral vacuum…sighs*

      • It’s almost unthinkable to me that Pence isn’t complicit in some/all of these scandals. How could he possibly not be? The Russia stuff- no way I believe he wasn’t involved. He needs to go too.

        • yyyaz

          Or, as is the case with the overstuffed, infected, pus-sack stinking up the WH, his daddy never should have come.

    • BillEGoatSmirk

      Claude Taylor is the guy that mostly feeds the PalmerReport. Dok yelled at me some time ago for giving PalmerReport the vague time of day.
      So. We’re all smart enough to have discerning minds.
      But Dok, what are your thoughts on this guy Claude? Fruitcake or not fruitcake?

      • Oh, I didn’t realize that. I know the Palmer Report is sketchy. Thanks for the heads up.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    Every goddam day is another act in “The Madness of Covfefe Donald.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      It is a tale told by an idiot, full of tweets and covfefe, signifying nothing.

      • Alex Grey

        “Negative media covfefe,” at that…

      • yyyaz

        Not easy for me to quibble with you, TFS, but in my lifetime, anyway, it signifies no less than the end of the American Experiment and all the hope it ever engendered.

        • Biel_ze_Bubba

          You may be right – it all depends on whether or not the reality-based crowd gets back into power. We desperately need some rules about accuracy in the media. Fucks Gnus – the worst thing to happen to the U.S. in my lifetime – has done incredible damage. Who knew you could profit from making people stupid?

  • jaspersdad

    North face of Mt. Robson BC. Highest elevation in the Canadian Rockies. Mist glacier, Berg glacier and Berg Lake.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7d701fbb05dd4b0091b6199acdc867b7d409e7f87f7b40509176d923ab56f283.jpg

    • Mike Steele

      For how long?

    • Bemused Australian

      That looks stunning. I wish to see your Canadian mountains one day, and ski on them if possible.

      • jaspersdad

        I’ve met many Australians on the slopes. Working and holidaying.

        • Bemused Australian

          I lived in NZ when I was a kid. Spent 3-4 weeks a year skiing (it was dead cheap back then) from ages 4-13. Even did some competitive stuff. I always meant to get an instructor’s licence when I was younger, but can’t really be done in Aus and I never had enough cash to do more than finance my actual skiing. I love the mountains, and Australia makes me miss them.

          • jaspersdad

            I’d love to see the mountains of NZ someday.

          • Bemused Australian

            Lord of the Rings is nice, but as always can’t compare to being there.

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            Skiing in August was the highlight of my trip to NZ. That and bungee jumping 300 feet into a gorge, which was a new thing at the time. (Turns out it’s an effective way of emptying your pockets. By now, there must be a small fortune in pocket change down there.)

        • Alex Grey

          I have drank with many Australians, they are fun!

          • Biel_ze_Bubba

            You drink with Aussies at your own risk.

      • not_vh

        yeah thanks but she’s not that kind of a lady, and she’s already taken.

    • Alex Grey

      Cheers Canada! Happy 150th!

      • jaspersdad

        Merci!

      • BillEGoatSmirk

        I didn’t know until I saw Alex Trebec wearing a peculiar looking sweater while watching Jeopardy.
        Happy 150th you normal people with a handsome, intelligent, and non-psychotic leader!

      • Ugh. So close to OUR birthday? Sheesh, Canada. Jealous much?

        (No. No, they’re not.)

    • From Russia with Love
      • jaspersdad

        I’ve never been, only seen it from distance, as in, the observation deck at the bar at Sunshine ski area.

  • While probably not number one on the list of things I didn’t think I’d be saying in 2017, the statement, “The new Styx album is really bitchin’!” easily makes the top ten.

    • Bobathonic

      Inconceivable!

  • Bemused Australian

    Here’s one for the congressional republicans.

    https://youtu.be/sgpa7wEAz7I

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg
    • yyyaz

      Our agony in a nutshell:

      Smith, however, didn’t seem to care. From his perspective it didn’t
      matter who had taken the emails, or their motives for doing so. He never
      expressed to me any discomfort with the possibility that the emails he
      was seeking were potentially from a Russian front, a likelihood he was
      happy to acknowledge. If they were genuine, they would hurt Clinton’s
      chances, and therefore help Trump.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        We are only scratching the surface. This is bigger than we think and we think it is huge!

        • yyyaz

          I have exhausted every English superlative for worst, and every pejorative adjective to describe our current state and its “leader.”

          • NotDarkYet

            Time to hit up the foreign languages.

            Schwanzgesicht might be a good start …

          • From Russia with Love

            Scheisskopf auch.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Arschloch!

            Ah, isn’t German a wonderfull language to swear in?

          • From Russia with Love

            Even “I love you” sounds like “Fuck you to death!”

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg
          • NotDarkYet

            Oh, yes, most certainly … the cool thing about German is that you can mix and match as it were — no need to stay with the traditional Arschloch.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      The words “holy fucking shit!” seem to apply. And every hateful AM radio yakker and all those around Trump keep saying, with deepening urgency “Nothing to see here! Nothing to see! Move along, folks! I said move!” This all goes very deep and very wide.

  • Jamoche

    The governor of Washington approves of Mississippi’s suggestion, with one small modification
    https://twitter.com/GovInslee/status/880984065309982720

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
    • yyyaz

      Excellent!

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I BEG your pardon?

    • Marion in Savannah

      That’s the exactly perfect response for a rudely intrusive personal question.

  • yyyaz

    I’m watching an old movie where an MG-TD just burned itself to death. The leading man and his lady escaped unscathed and with savoir faire, but very satisfying to watch the self-immolation of one of the most venerated and over-rated automobiles in the Anglo-American scheme of automobilia.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance
      • yyyaz

        Ummmm, ermmmm, can we be friends despite this little difference?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When you got your MG rolling, there was a profound sense of accomplishment — you just don’t get that with a Toyota.

      • yyyaz

        Not to mention the Whitworth/British Standard wrenches you invested in.

        • From Russia with Love

          My friend’s Triumph kept blowing fuses. He took it to the shop and they gave him a hand full of fuses.

      • NotDarkYet

        And if you kept dry inside when it rained … hallelujah!

      • From Russia with Love

        Triumph libelz!

  • TJ Barke

    What do you do when you hate yourself, and you don’t really want to go on living? When it feels like no one in your real life really cares about you, no one really wants you around? When you feel like you don’t deserve to be loved? That even if you try, you only ever let people down? That you’ll never accomplish the things you always hoped to? When you don’t really want to wake up in the morning, and when you do you hope that you’re the only person left in the world? And feeling like you don’t even deserve to complain? That even trying to talk about it just feels like you’re being selfish? That just putting this out there and it feels like attention seeking?
    Going to bed.

    • MilwaukeeKent

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y9_DhNdXRlI
      Please cheer up, we need you.

      • The Librarian

        I second Kent.

    • yyyaz

      TJ, I have felt the same way since I was 7, and that was a few decades ago. I have been through every type of counseling, including psychotherapy, SSRIs for 20 years now, and never, ever found out why until just 3 years ago when the psyche tests finally evolved to pinpoint why I feel like you do. My advice: keep getting up every morning, shop around for a counselor/therapist — even one with whom you disagree — and take what you need and leave the rest. There are always people in your life who love you and need you, although you may never even know it because they are unable to express it.

    • Jennifer R

      I let my spite be my drive. When I feel so awful I don’t care what suicide would do to my loved ones, I remember all the absolute bastards who would like to see me dead and I refuse to give them the satisfaction.

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      When did you start working in the White House?

    • Sheepshagger

      I find that, if nothing else, my endlessly cheerful demeanour makes other people miserable. And that gives me sufficient venom to continue.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      TJ, I urge you to try to see that your brain is misfiring its signals here. It’s causing you to have these perceptions, which then spur these strong emotions of hopelessness and despair. But TJ, your perceptions aren’t accurate. Your brain is causing you to see things through a dark veil. You are a lovely person. You don’t let people down. You’re smart and funny, and part of this community who likes and respects you. I’d bet that your parents love you, and that people in your community love you as well. You’re a very nice, kind person, who people do care about, and you WILL accomplish things–you’re very, very young.

      I’ve had depression and anxiety all my life, especially in my late teens/early twenties, with days and days spent weeping hopelessly. I finally found a pyschiatrist I liked, and through trial and error, found a balance of meds that works for me, and it’s a completely different experience now. I still have low moments but nothing like before. And mostly, I’m calm and I would even say happy.

      I really urge you to find a therapist and a pyschiatrist. If you had a heart malfunction, you would seek help. It’s the same for this kind of “emotional” malfunction. Try to picture your brain sending mis-signals, like a heart palpitation, that’s causing these feelings. If you really feel hopeless, please at least call a suicide hotline. The things you’re saying are the hallmarks of classic depression, not of reality. Even just the people you interact here care about you, and you don’t let us down. Where do you live? We can help find you help.

  • Raan

    So Wonketeriat, I can feel myself slipping into a cycle of going to bed later and later without my wake up time changing until I just end up collapsing.

    So since it’s the weekend, fuck it. I’m going to stay up all night to accelerate the process to its natural conclusion of eventually getting back on something like a normal sleep schedule.

    If I’m going to spend a day useless and cranky, it’s going to be on my terms.

    • Jennifer R

      This happens to me all the time.

    • akryan

      I’ve totally fucked up my sleep schedule this summer. I started staying up a little later. Then it was 2am. the next week it was 3am. it’s gotten to the point that I’m up all night. It’s easy to do up here because the sun is out all night at this time of year. anyway, it’s gotten bad. I’m gonna have to pull an all-nighter just so I can go to sleep at a normal time.

      • NotDarkYet

        Dear God, I’ve fucked myself the same way (adding in a three-week trip to Germany to seal the deal) … I don’t even know WHERE to start to get back to a “normal” schedule. On the bright side, my cats love it!

    • marxalot

      Sounds like you’ve come unstuck in time. Warp that around yourself and return to where you need to be! Good luck on the hard reset.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    Jesus Horatio Christ – listening to this woman spew Trumpian horseshit is like reading an early draft of 1984… one that Orwell ditched because it was too over the top.

  • akryan

    The one thing about this entire shit show is that we are actually living through history. We are actually living through the worst presidency ever. We’ll all be the old timers saying, “you think this is bad? I lived through Donald Trump, so quit complaining and get off my lawn,” Well, that’s trying to look on the bright side at least.

    • Sheepshagger
    • Alex Grey

      The man promised us a wall, and all we were left with, were tax cuts for the rich.

    • NotDarkYet

      Until darkness REALLY falls and lawns are a thing of the past, too …

      • Alex Grey

        Nah, they will just be under water…

        • NotDarkYet

          Well, looking at the bright side: we can hydrate! And maybe eat whatever floats around those waters — crocs (not the shoes), water-moccasins, turtles, raccoons — just thinking about what I saw float ashore from the bayou during the last flooding event … never will forget the two guys trying to lasso a >6ft alligator with what looked like crocheting yarn. Didn’t go as expected.

    • Perkniticky

      Unfortunately, unless the economy tanks a good portion of the population won’t even notice.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The economy will tank, btw.

  • bluicebank

    Rachel just nailed it.

    Not only did she explain how Donald Trump is playing us, she informed me of why I could never win (at least with my self-defense mechanism) against a narcissist.

    He’s fucking playing us. Maybe not consciously, or with mental acumen, or sanely, but playing us he is.

    Only once did I make the mistake of being with a narcissist, and fuck me, all my defenses were nothing. I was up against Gen. Giap and Ho Chi Minh … but I was not. I was up against a sociopath.

    I did not win. I packed up like a hillbilly and got the fuck out of Dodge. So in this case, I either use that Visa I got, or work on getting the Short Fingered Vulgarian & Co. out of my hair. I’m too old for this shit, but whatev, I’ll give $ to ACLU on whomever.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RZ_f0J8I_W4

    • Phoenixdoglover

      That is an excellent segment by Rachel, one of the best I have seen in a long time.

      I think she has diagnosed accurately the Trump method for nuclear level distraction, which includes his willingness to say utterly repulsive things and to treat the blowback damage to the Presidency as inconsequential. I also think Rachel missed the extra ingredient – Trump’s ability to repeatedly peddle the most easily rebutted lies. Again, without any evidence he pushes lies without seeming to care about his “external” reputation.

      Beyond the Trump bad-boy diagnosis, Rachel rightly points out the much more significant need for everyone (us) not to get sucked into Trump’s abusive and denigrating game. Much more is at stake here for our future than responding to the madness of the Orange Shitgibbon. Our central government is now on a path to subvert its own institutions of governance, to shatter our belief that the system of checks and balances is worth defending. We ARE headed down a path toward an autocratic kleptocracy.

      At the G-20 summit, when Trump and Putin get together, what recipes will they be sharing?

      • bluicebank

        Yes and yes. Understanding an opponent is key. I think I understand this sociopath: he is gaming us, them, and everyone. As to Gobel’s “big lie” of propaganda, is Trump to psychological manipulation. He’s playing hard poker and bets no one sees through the bluff.

        Fuck me. The guy might be batshit crazy, but he keeps winning the pot. Perhaps we are collectively realizing Donnie is sitting on a nothing-burger, and his high is an 8.

        • But this is no different than any other GOP liar. As Paul Krugman noted, all of the GOP candidates in the primary believed awful things that were laughably false.

          But so has every single Republican back to Reagan. Reagan said “Trees cause pollution” and his followers said the MSM lied and he was telling the truth.

          Fox News is reinforcing this, but the GOP is at the heart of this lying as a political tool.

          • subatomic

            Exactly. This situation is only enabled by the willfully ignorant.

        • NotDarkYet

          And the only way to “win” that game is not to play.

          When faced with the impossible-to-answer question –does a dog have Buddha-nature or not?– Mu …

          • bluicebank

            “We’ don’t have the luxury of leaving the game. Unless you’re a mystic.

            We CAN win by changing the rules. As he has done, so can we.

          • NotDarkYet

            Oh, I’m not advocating leaving the game! It’s not even possible to check out permanently. :)

          • bluicebank

            Love. One can only leave the game by somehow being a mystic, of which I’ve only read in a book by the nom de plume Trevarian: “Shibumi” (think “Eiger Sanction). It is fiction. I recommend it. Link below.

            But yeah, the path forward is resistance.

            https://www.amazon.com/Shibumi-Novel-Trevanian/dp/1400098033

          • NotDarkYet

            I read, well tried to (good ole college try!) read Eiger. That was the most plodding, unexciting “spy” novel ever. The movie was better, but considering the source material, there’s only so far ya can go! LOL

            Now, on your recommendation, I just checked out Shibumi. What I like about Whitaker is that he wasn’t afraid to take risks with his writing, i.e. he “went” there and pulled off some pretty impressive literary stunts considering the limitations of the genre (he did some Faulknering along the way: long ass sentences, some moderately challenging philosophical detours etc).

            Looking forward to get started on this book; thanks for the recommendation! I love taking a second look at writers and being surprised …

          • bluicebank

            It’s a short novel. I have it on .pdf somewhere on my HD because it was out of print, and I had to snake it off a Russian site. Now it’s on Amazon.

            I read it first when I was bumming around at a red-head’s place near a SoCal beach, and I was like dude, this is some fucking shit. I think the reason Hollywood never did the book, but did Eiger Sanction, was because Shibumi was and still is too much of a mind blow. At least, it seemed to me at the time when that ginger was about to turn me on to things which paled in contrast to shibumi, which I think translates to “master of your own fate.”

          • NotDarkYet

            Yup, I ordered it from the amazons (I have a “free” Audible trial that has yet to be initiated, and Shibumi is gonna be its first! I do hope the experience is a pleasurable one for all concerned … lol).

            According to my most excellent wikifoo, Shibumi means something along the lines of “a particular aesthetic of simple, subtle, and unobtrusive beauty.” I’m sure the ginger encounter was all that and then some! ;)

            The little intro I read online already could take Shibumi into wow!
            https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e7332eeeddf830214521f5f4c4c99aadd9dafb594ee113fbaab1e175c3e0066f.gif
            territory …

          • bluicebank

            Dude.

            Since it was the 1980s ago, I suppose you are goading me to spill. The statue of limitations, whatev. I’m not going to spoil the book.

            The ginger in question, however, only fucked me for advantage. She wore me out (6 hours, really?). I think she was after my business plan, since her lawyer showed up later, and he got me high on high-grade pot I hadn’t seen since Thai-stick in the 1970s, and forgot my ATM code when I wanted to pay him for the high. (Did I mention we were in Southern California in the 1980s?)

            Oh, shit, we were talking about shibumi.

            Anyway, she also slept with the guy who was going to be the accountant for my scheme to take over the Orange County local newspaper industry … based upon my business plan which was based on assumptions not in evidence.

            So now you know. We were fucking dreaming.

          • NotDarkYet

            SIX hours? Hell, no wonder you forgot your code! I’da forgot my name!

    • Subliberal

      Wow. Seriously, wow.

    • He’s fucking playing us

      Standard Salesliar bullshit. Tell them anything they want to hear. We knew that.

    • Canis Greyhame

      That opening segment really is a clear explanation for why this president is the worst one in the history of the country. It’s the nature of the beast.

  • mancityRed6

    very weird dreams so I couldn’t sleep.
    the ex was there, talking on a cell phone. I took one of her books inside, which was work for some reason, and started drawing in it. perfectly straight lines free hand.
    so I took it back outside to her.
    went back in and the computers are all flashing colors and just freaking out.
    this is all during me waking up every half hour or so and falling back into it.
    very weird.
    I’ll blame the new underwear.
    I’ve been up for a hour and a half, so I’m gonna go back and try again.

    • Alex Grey

      Those are the worst kind of confusing dreams, the ones in which you are mostly asleep, but sort of awake. Makes it harder to tell the difference between dream and reality, and that doesn’t even do it justice as a description. Believe me, I know what you mean.

    • From Russia with Love

      I usually sleep OK, but once or twice a month I have some weird and disturbing dream that ends up waking me up. And once I get back to sleep, the fucking dream starts up right were it left off. Rinse and repeat three or four times during the night, and I don’t get jack for sleep.

      The other one that kills me is dreaming that I’m in bed and can’t get to sleep.

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        I have weird dreams frequently, but usually with some humorous twist. Last night I dreamed that I was trying to manage a project (I think building construction) with the guys from Monty Python, but they were being assholes and not listening to me. Cleese kept fucking interrupting me in his screechy drag voice (which he was doing in drag, so I guess at least in character). Then I decided I’d have to go to meetings showing a lot of cleavage, and that totally worked, full attention achieved.

      • mancityRed6

        “dreaming that I’m in bed and can’t get to sleep”
        fuck. that would be a mind trip. and now I’m wondering if it ever actually happens to me.

  • Jamoche
  • marxalot

    I made cupcakes. Strawberry with cream cheese icing, ‘cuz I felt like it. And watched Gentlemen Prefer Blondes, since it’s going bye bye from Netflix sometime …today?
    O hai insomniacs I like being awake right now.

  • Alex Grey
    • Because Wonkette.

    • The Wanderer

      Midsummer Day (Summer Sun Celebration) was a week ago.

      • Alex Grey

        I know…

  • We don’t care how many lies Trump tells. When do we git to hunt Libbierolls…
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/652ccb788e138a8a9ea7da4b66ff0c1fdd1870c5050a92022c5d9b7b9393b13e.png

    • bupkus231

      and, of course, a new streak started at 12:01AM March 2.

      The man lies like he breathes

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I am watching the ceremony for the burial of Helmut Kohl. All European leaders and former leaders are there and The United States is represented by Bill Clinton who is now giving a speech. You see all in the crowd looking at him like “Good god, what the hell went wrong that the POTUS is no longer a man like him?”

    https://images0.persgroep.net/rcs/jqcvaKO5qppuhQwsB83wwel4o04/diocontent/108084894/_fitwidth/694/?appId=21791a8992982cd8da851550a453bd7f&quality=0.9

    • From Russia with Love

      No kidding, my friend.

    • not_vh

      Chancellor Helmut Kohl is dead?

      • From Russia with Love

        For quite a while now. He still had some traveling to do…

        • not_vh

          in college we were all excited about german unification and thats when i learnt about him.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah he was great man. Wonderful to see all those people together and no trump anywhere near. Did make me wonder why there was noone from the current administration. Has to do with the 4th july weekend? Ah well Medvedev was there so i guess trump was represented.

          • not_vh

            lol

          • Marion in Savannah

            Angela Merkel inviting one of the current WH crew? I’m not seeing that happening.

  • Annmperry

    my buddy’s mother in law makes $78 an hour at home and she’s been out of a job for 2 months.. the previous month her income was $15731 just working on the internet four hours each day, ➤ go to➤ this link
    ➜➜➜http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs460TopPrint/Home/Wage….
    ✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹✹::::az190.

    • not_vh

      i have a weird feeling you guys are in on the joke. infact, you prolly post here not because you hope to get anyone here to click on your stupid link, but just to read the non-comments.

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Assuming that’s seven days a week, she would have to make $126 an hour to make $15731 in a month of four-hour days. Something smells off, here.

    • Marion in Savannah

      Annm, sweetie, I’m sure that your local community college offers some remedial math courses. You should check it out.

  • I know a joke

    Rick & Morty promos are insane

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RsH5sCFGJvU

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Geeze, I go away for a few days, and then this all happens. Coincidence? (Yes, it is, I have nothing to do with the shitsunami in the WH.)
    https://twitter.com/thehill/status/881090269730492416
    https://twitter.com/Deoliver47/status/881092170173775872
    https://twitter.com/shane_bauer/status/880875415841120257

    Maybe I need to go back on vacation.

    • I’m surprised that mob violence hasn’t been organized sooner by Trump. This will be his primary means of executing his political opponents.

    • The Wanderer

      (eyes his yard work, then his bed)

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      But I was assured that he didn’t give a crap about LGBT one way or another and that’s why we had to be more afraid of Pence in charge!

      • Martini Ambassador 🍸

        Yeah. The argument for keeping him around as the “lesser of two evils” just got a whole lot weaker.

  • not_vh

    Alexandra Petri @ WaPo

    I stand with my colleagues in Congress to say: The president’s tweet is beneath the dignity of the office.

    This is not making America great.

    The president has at last done the unthinkable: He has insulted a morning television personality in crude and ghastly terms
    and I must — in consequence of this hideous and vile breach of the dignity of the office — withdraw none of my support from his legislative agenda. (If you can call it a legislative agenda and not a ragtag collection of bad ideas quickly stapled together with a dead pigeon in the middle.)

    My keyboard’s shot with all the piping hot cafefe on it.

    • not_vh

      y’all fellow snarkers please read this. it’s first of the month so no pay wall.

      chock-a-bloc with gems like:

      His remark about Mika Brzezinski is absolutely shameful and I do not stand with him, except insofar as it is necessary to stand with him so that we can make sure infants get access to pesticides, as the Founders would have wished.

      Everything else the president has done is fine — the continued attacks on the media’s legitimacy, the carelessness toward history and diplomacy, the harmful rhetoric about Muslims, the — well, it is all fine. This is too much, though, and I am putting my foot down, here, on my way to vote against icebergs

    • The Wanderer

      The pigeon’s not dead. He’s stunned.

      • Bobathonic

        Pining for the fjords, even.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          The feathers look nice….

      • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

        Nailed to his perch!

      • Marion in Savannah

        He’s joined the choir celestial.

    • Jamoche

      “At last”? What was the pussy grabbing tape? Or the “bleeding from her wherever”? This wasn’t unthinkable, it was predictable.

      … oh, snark. So hard to tell these days.

  • The Wanderer

    Happy Canada Day, you naughty poutine eaters!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EeEBaYcdwbM

  • freakishlypersistent

    Dear Media, why have her, or any of them, on? They fucking lie.

    • not_vh

      isn’t spotlight is a disinfectant?

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        That’s how it’s supposed to work. In these people’s cases, attention works as a reverse infectant.

        • SeeTrain65

          They’re certainly infecting the airwaves.

      • Resistance Fighter Astraea

        Not always.

      • ariel_gee_398

        That they aren’t so much acting as a spotlight on her lies as a megaphone for them is the problem.

  • Alex Grey
    • not_vh

      this is all too much and frustrating. we all need a comforting parent figure, or a guru like jesus even.

      • Alex Grey

        Dashie is my guru…

        • not_vh

          i know. :D

    • The Wanderer

      I’ve seen this in galleries – The Good Stablehand, isn’t it?

      • not_vh

        The Good Stablehand, indeed.

        I like it. Imma add it to my working memory.

    • Kateaux

      “Suffer the little ponies to come unto me, for of such is the Kingdom of Heaven.”

  • La forza del resistino

    Special counsel Mueller hires former DA Preet Bharara, who was fired by Trump.
    I like my popcorn with extra butter.

    • not_vh

      easy on the butter, we will need a lot of popcorn.

    • SnarkON

      Oh, SNAP.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      I googled this and could not find a source, though there is a new tweet from Bharara saying “Andrew Goldstein, my corruption chief, joins Special Counsel Mueller. Best of best in every way. Fair, tough, smart.”

      So there’s that.

  • Nounverb911
    • La forza del resistino

      He’d take credit for a 6 level project, on time and under budget.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Useful Ajit Pai’s lawyer nominated for top US telco watchdog role
    Brendan Carr will be a reliable vote against net neutrality as an FCC commissioner

    Given his experience, Carr is a known quantity for Chairman Pai and will be a reliable vote for destroying net neutrality, which will come before the commission later this year. But before that he needs to get cleared by Congress.

  • chascates
    • La forza del resistino

      What will the price be to squash the story on their intergalactic alien baby?

      • SnarkON

        They’re meeting with Bat Boy to discuss the terms just as soon as Mika’s stitches are out.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      In New York, there are two degrees for the crime of coercion (referred to as “extortion” in certain other states). The most basic form of the offense is second degree coercion, which occurs when a person compels another person to engage or refrain from engaging in lawful conduct by instilling a fear of:
      ….
      Exposing a secret about the victim subjecting him or her to “hatred, contempt or ridicule;
      …..
      Any other act calculated to harm the victim’s health, safety, business, calling, career, financial condition, reputation or personal relationships.
      ….
      Second-degree coercion is a class A misdemeanor punishable by a sentence of up to 1 year in prison, a fine of up to $1,000, or both.

      http://statelaws.findlaw.com/new-york-law/new-york-extortion-laws.html

  • Nounverb911

    Chaffetz has left the building.

    https://twitter.com/jasoninthehouse/status/880457643596423172

    Wonder what his new twitter handle will be? @jasoninthefox?

    • Alex Grey

      And is headed to Fox…

    • not_vh

      you say bye bye, i say thank god.

      • Marion in Savannah

        Paul, is that you?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      I can’t believe his request for an extra 3k a month for a second house wasn’t more popular. Doesn’t that poor cot just make you so sad that he only has to do with one house?

      • Angry Red Bird DGAF

        He just go without an iPhone.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      I hope someone from the Washington Post is still looking into his contributor’s list…

    • Msgr_MΩment

      I’m sure he’ll miss that bed. Obviously, a lot of magic happened right there.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      I hope he doesn’t last a Fox.

    • SnarkON

      Maybe he’ll start a DJ business on the side. You know, to help pay his rent.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Sorry, I’m fresh out of sympathy for poodle-haired vulgarians.

  • chascates
    • Alex Grey

      So, the continued existence of Trump in the WH, is proof that there is no god.

    • not_vh

      fuck off you cop out. hiding behind copy pasted phrases acting as if there is some deep wisdom behind it. there is no wisdom. just reeks of opportunism and stilettoed cowardice of a man lacking ability to stand up to what is right.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Whatever happens, we can always be sure we’ll find Rubio doing the least.

      • not_vh

        precisely.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      So God knew about Trump and did nothing to stop him? (Asshole.)

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        All-knowing God also didn’t tell us about penicillin. Millions died. (Asshole)

  • not_vh

    the household is slowly getting up.

    folks have a wonderful and cheerful independence day. onward to personal growth and collective progress.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Rex Tillerson reportedly involved in heated argument with Trump adviser Stephen Miller

    Rex Tillerson is ready to go 12 rounds with any Trump aide.

    The secretary of state, who claims to have been guaranteed a degree of autonomy when he took the position in Trump’s administration, has grown increasingly irritated with attempts from the President’s aides to impose stricter immigration policies and reform within the State Department.

    Last week, Tillerson verbally tussled with White House aide Stephen Miller, the man behind the Trump travel ban and a chief speechwriter from the campaign trail, when Miller urged him to be tougher on immigration, according to Politico.

    • not_vh

      I can’t believe Tillerson fell for the Trump ruse.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Mr Tillerson is not a stupid man. I believe he thought he could do the right thing, and secure a nice epilogue to his career. But Trump is a control freak, and doesn’t trust anyone. By putting a wet-behind-the-ears republican sycophant in there, Trump suspected that Rex would be a willing sycophant as well.

        That was both Tillerson’s and Trümp’s mistake. It will be interesting to see how this plays out.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          “interesting to see how this plays out.”

          Interesting, except for the part where we have to live in the world Trump expels from his lower intestine.

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Even if Tillerson pushed by Donnie Dumbass, he’s not going to negotiate a “treaty” (or whatever) that hurts his interests. Tillerson make money off a stable economic world: do you think he’ll throw that away because of a Donnie Constipation Tweet?

    • Phoenixdoglover

      There is still plenty of time for fisticuffs in the White House.

      Just wondering what kind of punching style Stephen Miller might have.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        A good old-fashioned caning is in order.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        The old-fashioned fists-up, mini-windmill, please don’t-hurt-me style, with a bit of running behind the nearest desk thrown in for pure comic relief?

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          I believe Miller’s style would be classified as “wussy slap fight behind the bleachers.”

          • Bobathonic

            I would wager they all prefer “Shoot them in their sleep. From the back.”

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Downwards – he’s known for his authoritarian cock-dropper….

      • SnarkON

        Needs moar gunz.

    • Apple Scruff

      Comon, Rex. Do it! You know you want to. PUNCH THAT NAZI! https://media.giphy.com/media/l0Ex0h0heuV5fqFeU/giphy.gif

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    Good Morning, Wonkettinstigateurs! Oh, that black and steaming magic! The new Toomush maker ($8.97 at Walmart, carved by hand by the well-fed and nourished educated hand-wizards of Vietnam) is sooo damn fast!…

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      What kind of coffee making machine can be had for $8.97? Inquiring minds, blah, blah.

      • Sheepshagger

        My spoon is only 7.99.

  • Nounverb911
    • Phoenixdoglover

      Open the pod bay door, Hal.

      Fuck you, Donald.

    • ariel_gee_398

      It’s not Donnie’s fault the only movies his kids ever wanted to watch were Wall Street, Children of the Corn and American Psycho.

    • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

      A demonstration of the reason children are born with those tiny pug noses.

    • How did Buzz keep from just bitch slapping him I will never know

  • Nounverb911
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      The supposed sycophants are getting smart. They are less and less afraid of Donnie Twp Scoops’ twitter “threats” and derogatory speech. They are all idle threats of a schoolyard bully. Everyone is calling Donnie’s bluff.

      • Apple Scruff

        He’s become The Boy Who Cried SAD

      • Phoenixdoglover

        He is sowing the seeds of his own destruction. Simultaneously debasing the Presidency and providing the ammunition to his critics.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          I want him to do those things except debase the presidency. However, I am confident that our allies see the person is the problem, not the office. Even so, Lady Liberty weeps.

  • Nounverb911
    • I gotta say, I never ever would have thought a dictionary company was an ally.
      But it makes a lot of sense.
      Wonder if they are hiring? Cause I know some good words….

    • SeeTrain65

      Dear Don:

      I’m guessing they’re finding these words in their DICTIONARY, you fucking slack-jawed simpleton.

      GFY,

      ST

      (EDIT: FYI: “Slack-jawed”, “Simpleton”: Two other words he’s never heard of. And he had to look up “Dictionary.”)

      • *I think it was one of them fake tweet things XD*

        • SeeTrain65

          “Yeah, but it’s still good to get it off my chest,” SeeTrain said as he tossed three more Xanax into his mouth in utter embarrassment.

          • :snuggle: do not feel bad, just pointing it out since I am routinely taken in by these myself.
            Like all the time. Even the ridiculous ones. I just cannot tell anymore!

          • SeeTrain65

            I’m fine, Jen. The last post was just a playful knock at myself for falling for it. (Thanks for the snuggle, tho.)

          • I like snuggles. I figure, if people got enough snuggles, this world would be a lot less nasty about things.
            Cause we’d all be too busy snuggling.
            But no breathing on my face. I hate that shit.

          • Jamoche

            Too grammatical. Also the very faint gray text on the right edge.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    “Failing USA Senate went home with no deal on latest terific TrumpCare bill. Don’t blame me! Not my fault! Lazy Mitch.” #DeletedTrumpTweets

  • chascates
    • ltmcdies

      Ok, I enjoyed the fish comment

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • Jamoche

      She doesn’t “advocate for women”, she just makes mouth noises that walk the line between appeasing Daddy and selling her lifestyle brand.

  • Nounverb911

    Too bad he retired the tick tick tick tick tick tick.

    https://twitter.com/benjaminwittes/status/880965413156392960

  • Nounverb911

    Are you sure he didn’t buy it in secret?
    https://twitter.com/yashar/status/881010850403942401

    • I am thinkin if you follow the money connections we will find it is owned part by Trump Co and possibly part by Putin Co

  • HazooToo
    • Canis Greyhame

      It was right in front of us!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    ‘Morning Joe’ Row Is Fresh Sign of TV’s Iron Grip on Trump

    It’s a cable news-Twitter presidency. So is it any wonder that one of the great, early standoffs of the new administration is not between the president and Congress or the president and a foreign leader, but between the president and the hosts of a morning news show?

    As one of those hosts, Joe Scarborough of MSNBC, told me on Friday, “He should be a lot more worried about NATO and building a relationship with Angela Merkel than he is with cable news hosts.”

    • Rick Hill

      Well, obviously. Merkel’s on all those boring shows, poor ratings. Who wants to waste their beautiful brain on that?

  • Nounverb911
    • Canis Greyhame

      I guess that’s one way to get on the cover every month.

    • National Enquirer is not Pro Trump, per se.

      They’re Pro-Ignorance. Trump is just a well known brand of ignorance.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Finding existing government propaganda resources insufficient?

    • Sheepshagger

      Give thy thoughts no tongue.

    • Bill D. Burger

      When you own a circus why wouldn’t you embrace, do anything to cultivate and keep, the biggest circus act with most outrageous attention-whore clown on the planet?

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C_dH0xwVYAAV-sM.jpg

  • Is our educational maps helping South Africa and Asian Countries do…what exactly?
    https://i.giphy.com/media/xT77XWum9yH7zNkFW0/200w_d.gif

    Appreciate the superior intelligence of Republicans?

  • Blackest Noobs
  • chascates
    • ariel_gee_398

      The antifa are funded by Soros? Cause anarchists are notorious for being funded by billionaires?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Is the Anti-Fa getting their SorosBux™ checks? I haven’t gotten mine for the Women’s March yet …

        • ariel_gee_398

          They have a more threatening union.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Let’s publish an excuse for violence ahead of time, and blame on the “left!” Then we can be assholes and thugs and racists and idiots because we have an “excuse!”

    • Bill D. Burger

      Always Opposite Day in alt-right Trumpland.

    • Skinny-jeaned?
      Really?

      • Mildred Broxon

        Those Nazis were famous for their skinny jeans. Look at all the photos!

    • Marceline

      Lordt that is bad writing.

      • My money is still on the Antifa. If they think a bunch of re-enactors are going to get into an actual fight, they don’t know history nerds well enough.

  • Raan

    Guys?

    Is this real right now? Am I actually writing this comment?

    I can’t tell if I’m dreaming or not.

    • II Gosala

      Comments aren’t allowed. Therefore you’re dreaming.

      • Raan

        That makes sense.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      You’re just caught in a landslide.
      No escape from reality.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    The hidden signs that can reveal a fake photo
    A picture may say a thousand words, but what if the photograph has been fabricated? There are ways to spot a fake – you just have to look closely enough.

    Test Yourself … it’s fun

    • Raan

      I would, but to quote Portal 2, I am in no fit state to run this particular type of cognitive gauntlet.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Proper caffeination and non-blurry vision is required … might have to wait a bit.

  • NotALiar

    They keep accidentally admitting that this “healthcare” bill is really a tax cut.

  • Mahousu
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Stupid idea from stupid fool is stupid? I did not see that coming …

    • ….whut even?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        See above

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      You have to wonder how much the request is about actually getting the info and how much is to get it in the news to make people worried about voting in the future.

  • Joe Beese
    • Bobathonic

      Yep, he sure is broken.

    • Bill D. Burger

      A biblical exhortation to Greta …… and soon to Donny:

      https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DDm2s38UIAEZjgw.jpg

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Oh, yeah … she was let go because she wouldn’t hate on you, you fucking juvenile!

      She was let go because her show didn’t generate $$$, you fucking moron.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Mika Brzezinski Reveals True Story Behind President Trump’s ‘Face-Lift’ Tweet: He Begged for the Name of My Doctor
    PeopleJune 30, 2017

    Mika Brzezinski is setting the record straight about President Trump‘s tweet regarding her alleged face-lift — which wasn’t a face-lift at all.
    In a candid new interview with Vanity Fair published on Friday, the Morning Joe co-host reveals that she got a procedure to tighten the skin under her neck — and explains why the president knew about it.
    Brzezinski says she started laughing when her coworker Willie Geist first showed her Trump’s widely derided tweets, in which he claimed she was “bleeding badly from a face-lift” when she and her fiancé and co-host Joe Scarborough visited the Trumps at Mar-a-Lago around New Year’s Eve.
    “I had a turkey neck. My mom told me to get it done,” she explained. “I was FaceTiming all my friends, telling them to get it done, that it wasn’t so bad.”
    Brzezinski said that she told Melania Trump about the procedure when the TV hosts stopped by Mar-a-Lago on New Year’s Eve. But it was the then-president-elect who was impressed.
    “The irony of it all is that Donald kept saying, ‘That’s incredible. You can’t even tell. Who did it? Who did it?’ He kept asking for the name of the doctor,” Brzezinski recalls. “He literally asked 10 times. ‘Is he down here? Who is he?’ ”

    https://www.yahoo.com/celebrity/mika-brzezinski-reveals-true-story-behind-president-trumps-face-lift-tweet-begged-name-doctor-214420106.html

    Fake news! Obviously, Donny has the best chin, no waddle, no work needed….you need work.
    Bwwahahhaahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/119ee3e328b08a3e0d98a5142b1a1ad293e7e12fd9b4701cc27e748491c93416.jpg

  • Joe Beese
    • ariel_gee_398

      Yes, why won’t Kris Kobach cooperate with the distinguished panel?

      • Joe Beese

        No… very distinguished.

        Picture something distinguished. Like… I don’t know… Queen Elizabeth II.

        Now you have to come up with something so distinguished it makes Queen Elizabeth II look like a crack whore or something.

        That’s how distinguished this VOTER FRAUD PANEL is.

        • You mean the panel that had two members, including the lead, already said they could not comply with all of their own request?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Kobach is just stupid. His own state, Kansas, can’t comply with the request of the “distinguished” voter fraud committee because the Kansas state law and constitution won’t allow it.

        Fucking dumbass.

        • Kansas was one of the good states so that is ok

          • Résistance Land Shark Ω

            Yes, true … so applause for them. Sadly, they are stuck with Brownback and Kobach.

          • lol by good I mean “Went for Donnie so they don’t need their info”

        • Bill D. Burger

          Kobach and Ben Carson have destroyed, perhaps forever, the positive image of seeing ‘Harvard educated’ in a resume….and Carson certainly destroyed the prestige of ‘brain surgeon.’

    • Bill D. Burger
    • I can’t believe even his supporters are down with giving their affiliation and SS numbers.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The author of the letter just claimed to be a rich Nigerian prince, so it’s all good, man.

    • Rick Hill

      Such negotiating. Much art of the deal. So wow.

  • Rick Hill

    Right wing thought prosces explained:
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aQepWeW_700b.jpg

  • Joe Beese
    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      RED ALERT Big news “dump” coming over the holiday weekend! Prepare the sycophants! Rally the dumbasses! ‘Murrica! USA! USA! Fuck Yeah!

      Wonder what tidbit will hit the wires today?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Whatever it is, it’s likely coming from CNN. He betrays himself all the time now.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          We should challenge him to high stakes poker: his “tells” are pretty easy to spot.

    • Sophia

      It’s 9:00 am. Falling a little behind today isn’t he?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        He was a bit mentally constipated this morning …

        • Bobathonic

          It’s chronic.

      • Joe Beese

        Must have slept in.

    • Rick Hill

      “Now I wanna talk about this awesome news article I found in the National Enquirer and Breitbart”

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Happy to report that the attorney general of Mississippi responded to Donnie’s “voter fraud” commission request with “In the event I were to receive correspondence from the Commission …
    My reply would be: They can go jump in the Gulf of Mexico and
    Mississippi is a great State to launch from,” and that’s a republican from a very, very red state.

    Nice try, Donnie Dorko.

    • Wait….they didn’t get the correspondence?
      Weird. Dude said he gave it to all 50 states?
      I wonder how many states that went for DT did not get theirs yet? Surely it is just stuck in the mail.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Yeah, it’s in the mail like every check for every contractor Donnie never paid.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I await the words from Governor Batboy of Flor-i-duh …

      • ooooo they have a metric shit ton of survivalists in FL.
        heh. This should be fun!

        • John Thorstensen

          How will Carl HIaasen weave them into his next novel?

          • Bozilingus

            They will take over local government?

          • Local hell. Federal, baby!
            Then their heads will asplode as they become the Jack Booted Thugs.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Frankly, I was kinda surprised about this response. It’s encouraging.

        • Govenors and Secs are not stupid.
          Ain’t no way they are getting elected dog catcher if they give out people’s private and personal info to the Feds like that

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I just realized that myself. Even the deep red state Governors and Secs must realize this is not going to play well with the survivalist paranoiac whacko base.

          • Not to mention, in places that practice deep voter suppression, which is fraud, they most certainly do NOT want their records peered at.
            See also: PA

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Also an angle I hadn’t thought of.

          • When I saw PA on that list, I thought of all the court dragging they did when Jill demanded to see the rolls. They even tried to preemptively block her from even asking.
            Ayep.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      “We’re perfectly capable of doing our own voter disenfranchisement without the fedrl gummint butting in and telling us what to do. States rights!”

  • William
  • Joe Beese
    • Second “NBC bosses” thing today.
      George Soros dog whistle?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Another “tell” that something is about to get published that will overshadow his narrative?

        • CNN and now NBC.
          If WaPo and NYT make it into the mix, it may just very well be

    • Bemused Australian

      It’s nice that he’s extending an olive branch?

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Oh God. How funny if like 100 people twitted this back to him at the same time.

        • Bemused Australian

          I think it’d be a case of monkey see monkey do.

          • But at the same time. Just barrage the mother fucker so he HAS to see it. His keepers won’t be able to catch them all

          • Bemused Australian

            It could create a recursive loop. Just need a bot net to send 10 of the cartoon to him every time he tweets about it to trigger another tweetstorm. The internet would be destroyed! I’m starting to think that might be a good thing.

          • We may be on to something.
            We could ask George for some capital? fucker owes us with all those checks we ain’t got

          • Bemused Australian

            That stingy bastard’s rolling in it, but does he make it rain for the little people? Nooooo. All that ‘paid’ trolling and I haven’t seen dollar one.

          • Fuckin A, man. We should send him a stern letter that we have been doing all this paid trolling and his HR has fucked up our pay days

          • Bemused Australian

            Then we could leak it to Assange! =D

          • Naw fuck that guy. Let’s leak it to Rachel instead.

          • Bemused Australian

            It wouldn’t be nice to bring her down with the fake news about non-payments. When it’s revealed that trollgate was all a scam, whoever’s been pushing it is gonna look pretty stoopid. I’ll start fabricating some invoices…

          • ooohhhhhhhhhh…I missed the point entirely.
            Thing is with Jules, he has a perfect out. “We aren’t journalists, we just put all the info out there and let everyone else think for themselves!”

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Meanwhile, the WSJ reported last night that Bannon and Kellyanne were two more of the people inside the White House other than Flynn who were working with that crazy (dead) fuck trying to get Hillary’s emails from the Russians. Look, SQUIRREL!

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Dude is seriously obsessed with this. It tells me that Joe’s blackmail story is 100% true. Good to have T-Stain verify that for us.

    • Sophia

      Interesting. Did they chase him down, grab his phone and get hold of his twitter account?

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A8mUMSi5M8g

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Say, those are nice complements. Let’s try it ourselves.

      Delusional Donald Trump and his vacuous spawn are not a bad family, but their failed administration is dominated by Steve Bannon.

  • Michael R
  • All2human

    TL;DR I might hate people but I like it here.

    Hi all. I created this account in order to vent. I’ve been both a long time lurker and regular poster however something has been bugging me more and more recently.

    We all accept here that people are people and all deserve respect and equal treatment for who they are. It is a given that no one should be discriminated against because of their race, sexual preferences, height etc. OK I agree with that.

    However I’ve noticed a disturbing trend on Wonkette recently. At least once a day, usually more often, people that you disagree with are insulted by labelling them as ‘sociopaths’.

    As a sociopath myself I feel that insulting someone for an innate personality trait is somewhat hypocritical. LGBTQ folks are born as such, so are sociopaths. We all are trying to make our way in a hostile world in which the majority are wired to think differently from us.We did not ask for this or choose this, it is who we are.

    Sociopaths can be toxic people to know and interact with. So can ‘normal’ people. Simply calling someone a sociopath for acting in ways of which you disapprove is directing hate towards people who would usually prefer not to interact with society at all. Psychopaths might be a more useful label for Wonketeers even if it is also not usually applicable. (Some Republicans excepted).

    Anywho vent over, back to lurking.

    • Rick Hill

      A nit picking sociopath….

      • Darlene Underdahl

        Seems more like an introvert. A real sociopath is in your face and manipulating wildly.

        • All2human

          Not true. Sociopaths tend to shun society. manipulating wildly would involve unwelcome interaction

          • Bemused Australian

            Social anxiety?

          • All2human

            No. Dislike of other humans. I can interact well if needed but prefer not to

          • Bemused Australian

            Alright. Sounds tough.

          • Rick Hill

            Wait, didn’t he just describe everyone in the world?

          • Phoenixdoglover

            You are not necessarily a sociopath. More likely, you are simply anti-social.

            The key test is if you find yourself doing things to harm other people, either purposefully or compulsively. That would be a trait of a sociopath.

          • Rick Hill

            Or anti social anxiety?
            “Am I being sufficiently destructive towards my fellow man?”

      • All2human

        I have no nits. Your point? Sociopaths cannot think?

        • Rick Hill

          No nits? They’ve all been picked, then?

          • All2human

            Only the physical ones

    • To be fair, I do not think it is commonly used as an insult with people we “disagree with”.
      From what I have seen, when that crops up it is generally in a discussion of “what is wrong with DJT” and or “Why is the Republican Congress trying to actively kill people dead?”
      Armchair psychology is a bad thing, and you are right on that, but I think it pretty unfair to say it is being used to insult people just for disagreeing with you. These people are not disagreeing with us. They are actually destroying our country in a myriad of ways and want to see us all deceased.

      • All2human

        A good point. However I was not saying “it is being used to insult people just for disagreeing with you” I was merely venting about the term being used so loosely as an insult by those who used the term as a response to people they felt insulted by.

        • :huggle: I get you, just wanted to draw that distinction. I just do not find it being used loosely, since it is generally targeted at people who are actually displaying said tendencies (ie, lack of empathy and not caring what happens to people sort of thing) or as an insult: I think people here are actually trying to find a reason why these folks are so lacking in empathy and not caring what happens to actual people.
          BUT! We still should not bother trying to be psychiatrists unless we are, and even then it is not ethical to diagnose people you do not see anyway, so point taken.
          Besides which, asshole works best for me when applying to these individuals :D Or hoofwanking bunglecunts. I really like that one.

          • All2human

            Lol me too. Thankfully Wonkette is full of non comments and not real people or I’d have to leave again.

          • RIGHT?
            Real people are not so bad though. I still have issues with them myself but I am very slowly retraining myself to not want to run and hide and or kick someone.
            In fact, my site leader asked me yesterday if I had any accomplishments for June and I told her “I didn’t kick anyone!”

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        Sociopath definition: a person with a personality disorder manifesting itself in extreme antisocial attitudes and behavior and a lack of conscience.

        You’re saying you have no conscience but please everybody be nice to sociopaths everywhere?

        PS: Having a personality disorder does not relieve a person of responsibility for addressing it.

        • I am not saying anything ^.^ Though I do agree that people should probably not diagnose people with a mental disorder without having the creds to do so.
          I think Homeo is a shrink (don’t tell himher I used shrink). We could get herhim to weigh in?

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            You are being very nice and appropriate. I am gonna go with: what’s the point of having a nasty, vile little snark mob if we’re not allowed to call random assholes sociopaths when we feel like it?

          • All2human

            Thank you:) However that would open the floodgates to me insulting you ‘norms’ and I’m too tired.

          • I do not think anyone here could be classified as a norm. Except maybe me. I am practically perfect in every way, like that poppins woman, only I don’t sing. And not that slender.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            You self-identify as a sociopath and that is a super hard row to hoe and on an in-real-life personal level I feel for you, I really do, but here at the Wonkeganza it is not my jerb to protect the fee-fees of random people. There is plenty of humor in the world that touches on my weak points and I fucking deal with it.

          • We all deal with things differently, however. Some of us better than others is all. Or not better, but, you know, like are more able to handle things.
            Yesterday, my office up and left for lunch leaving me alone, because it was a slow day. Ten minutes later, I had the phone ringing off the hook, a large truck delivery, a small truck delivery, and three walk ins not to mention 5 emails in 10 minutes.
            Then this one woman called with an impossible question and I stammered and one of the walk ins suggested I get her number, find the info later and call her back XD
            I was all….DERP.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            A while back I firmly took myself in hand and cut back on my alcohol intake to something my doc wouldn’t scold me over.

            Last night I broke with the new regime and had the extra bourbon and today I am disgruntled with myself. I told the huz this and he asked would I like a good scolding, he has an app for that, to which I replied, no need, I picked a fight with a sociopath on Wonkette so I’ve had my good scolding for the day.

          • I think the objection was just using it loosely, like flinging it out there, when demented shitgibbon works so much better :D
            I like that one too.

        • All2human

          Nope, not what I’m saying. In my ideal world I’d never meet or speak to another human. Internet communication is acceptable as it is anonymous and can be stopped at any time.

          “PS: Having a personality disorder does not relieve a person of responsibility for addressing it.”
          What an idiotic thing to say.

          • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

            So you’re a proud sociopath and I’m an idiot. Glad we got that all cleared up.

          • All2human

            This is not what I’m saying. Simply responding intelligently to posts here shows that you are not an idiot. It was simply an idiotic thing to say.I am not proud, I am myself and I simply accept that

          • I would think acceptance is addressing it?

          • It’s really not an idiotic thing to say, though. That is pretty much a true thing for all issues and problems. You have to address your problems, whatever they might be, some people every hour of every day? I do not see why a personality disorder would be any different.

          • All2human

            And for those who truly believe homosexuality to be a personality disorder they should give your advice to the LGBTQ community?

          • Ah well, the difference of course is that it is not a personality disorder, but that it is something the LGBTQ community most certainly does have to address on a daily basis.
            What people think about a thing is immaterial: We address our problems regardless because otherwise we’d probably cease to be.

          • All2human

            “What people think about a thing is immaterial: We address our problems regardless because otherwise we’d probably cease to be.”
            There I think is where our main focus differs. Ceasing to be, not in a Nirvana type way, is to me a good thing. You are right that what we think is immaterial, the universe simply doesn’t care.

          • Why would it care? We’re pretty small potatoes compared to the universe. Heck, we’re small potatoes compared to our own globe.
            I find the trick of it all is to not care if the universe cares or not, but to care yourself anyway because you want to do it for yourself.

            You obviously at least care about this one thing; that is a step anyway! (I should have probably warned you that I am sort of an eternal optimist, although I can be pragmatic when pushed).

          • All2human

            This is where I start to get confused. To me, optimism is like prayer, a vain hope thrown to an uncaring world. However I understand that others think differently. I think that I would like to feel optimism but it doesn’t really make sense to me.

  • Carl Bernstein used the phrase “malignant presidency” to describe trump.

    I like the phrasing as it captures the seriousness of the situation.

  • Rick Hill

    Now replace that first sentence with “The man sitting in the Oval office has a device…” to completely make them think reality is warped
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a88bNYd_700b.jpg

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Doc: Tell me, Future Boy, who’s President of the United States in 1985?
      Marty: Ronald Reagan.
      Doc: Ronald Reagan? The actor? [rolls his eyes] Ha! Then who’s vice-president, Jerry Lewis? I suppose Jane Wyman is the First Lady?
      Marty: Whoa, wait. Doc!
      Doc: And Jack Benny is Secretary of the Treasury!

      • Rick Hill

        Liz Montgomery did it first. She was in a movie where she woke from a coma after something like twenty years and she bust up laughing as though it were a joke.

    • William
  • Bill D. Burger
    • Covering up the blackmail with…blackmail!

      • AJ Milne

        It’s just so crazy it could significantly extend both their sentences.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          One can always hope.

      • Bemused Australian

        Once you get on the tiger, you gotta keep ridin’!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Low energy. Sad.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      This could be why he’s tweeting up a storm this morning, attacking the media. Whoa if true.

      • Bemused Australian

        Donald will probably start doing it on twitter. Then we’ll know for sure!

        • He already has! Attacked CNN and NBC “Bosses”

          • Bemused Australian

            He tried to blackmail Comey over the twitters, so a couple of journalists is small bananas!

    • Sophia

      Curious about something: trump has pulled his usual B.S. about suing. As prednisent can he bring a civil suit against someone?

      • I think so. If a president can be sued (thanks, Newt!) in civil court then surely it works both ways?

      • Suttree

        I would imagine. It will be funny when a judge throws the case out for having no merit though.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Because “continued access to GOP” is more valuable to a talking head than gossipy texts with Jared? Jesus fuck these are some dumb motherfuckers.

      • You forget: the liberal media steps all over itself to be fair and balanced having 1000000 conservatives on for every liberal.
        This is a threat that their show will no longer be fair and balanced because no more conservatives.
        I, for one, am sure at this point both Joe and Mika are so very terrified that all they will have to deal with are reasonable adults.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Jared and Reince have no influence anymore. The networks and journalists are now figuring out that they will lose NOTHING by exposing the administration’s bullshit. And every threat they make is another 24 hour cycle.

      Dumbasses.

  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Today in Destroying your Empathy One Story at a Time:

    When Jorge Ramirez, an undocumented minister in Oceanside, California, encouraged his daughter (who is a citizen) to vote for President Donald Trump, he didn’t expect that his favorite candidate’s policies would lead to his deportation.

    But according to the San Diego Union Tribune, Ramirez is awaiting deportation all the same. He’s been in a detention facility since May, when Border Patrol staked his house out and detained him.

    “Trump said, ‘Let’s keep all the good people here and all the bad people out,’” Ramirez, who both doesn’t have a criminal record and has not previously been given a deportation order, told the Union Tribune.

    “That’s great, but I’m here,” Ramirez said. “If I’m here, anybody can be here. I’m not saying I’m the best person in the world, but I’ve tried to live a good life.”
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/06/but-ive-tried-to-live-a-good-life-trump-supporting-california-minister-now-faces-deportation/

    • Bobathonic

      Shorter idiot: “Gaaah! The leopards!”

    • I didn’t think they meant ME!!!!!

      • Duke

        They never do.

        • Remember the anti ACA guy on the go fund me that needed eye care and his savings were all depleted? And that the liberals, with a lecture, bailed his dumb ass out and then he finally got it?
          They never get it until it happens to them. No empathy at all.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            And when they finally “get it”, it isn’t empathy, it’s just self interest.

          • IDK, in that case the dude actually did seem to get it entirely.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m not sure I believe people this stupid and selfish to begin with are capable of epiphanies, but if you say so…

          • From Russia with Love
          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’m feeling so literal-minded today, this actually took me a second.

          • From Russia with Love

            That’s just me, fuckin with your literal mind.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I expect no less from you, amigo.

          • From Russia with Love

            Está todo bien.

          • I should say it seemed to me he actually got it XD

          • Sophia

            ^^THIS^^

      • From Russia with Love

        No shit!

    • Michael R

      Is his idea of the best person in the world Donald Trump ?

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Dude…both Jesus AND Trump lied to you. Sucks to be you.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Sophia

    Yea it’s Satire, but it’s an interesting thought : New law makes it legal for atheist doctors and nurses to refuse care to religious patients. The thing is that in real life an Atheist would continue to treat religious people while many of the religious are looking for ways to not treat people based on religion. Who’s more Christ like.

    http://thesciencepost.com/new-law-makes-it-legal-for-atheist-doctors-and-nurses-to-refuse-care-to-religious-patients/

    • The reason they would continue to care is because Atheism is not a religion. They’d have no religious objections to religion not being a religion themselves.
      Plus, they’re generally smart and caring people because they consider what they do on this world, not the next.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Bill D. Burger

    WW(R)JD?
    (* And why the Fundies and TEAlibangelicals love him so. He’s THEIR kind of Christian.)

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0956d9f7908877a5b5fb010552d4bde8c52f94eabca8993e660c63a0de822a9.jpg

  • Msgr_MΩment

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/881137079958241280
    Oh, I don’t know. Personal data that is meant to be protected from people trying to disenfranchise them.

    • Anyone asked him yet where his tax returns are?

      • Bemused Australian

        Being audited? Or possibly in a bunch of empty manilla folders.

    • Bemused Australian

      I thought this might be coming.

    • Bill D. Burger

      […very distinguished VOTER FRAUD PANEL.]

      TrumpCo’s way of saying to everyone in the United States: “You vil’ show us your papers….und you vil’ like it.”

      • From Russia with Love

        Also, “very distinguished”… In this fucking administration?

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Why don’t you ask the head of your own panel?

    • Rick Hill

      “How are we supposed to know which neighborhoods to target if the states won’t help?”

    • Phoenixdoglover
    • From Russia with Love

      Fer instance.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Resistance Fighter Astraea

    Today in Destroying your Empathy One Story at a Time:

    When Jorge Ramirez, an undocumented minister in Oceanside, California, encouraged his daughter (who is a citizen) to vote for President Donald Trump, he didn’t expect that his favorite candidate’s policies would lead to his deportation.

    But according to the San Diego Union Tribune, Ramirez is awaiting deportation all the same. He’s been in a detention facility since May, when Border Patrol staked his house out and detained him.

    “Trump said, ‘Let’s keep all the good people here and all the bad people out,’” Ramirez, who both doesn’t have a criminal record and has not previously been given a deportation order, told the Union Tribune.

    “That’s great, but I’m here,” Ramirez said. “If I’m here, anybody can be here. I’m not saying I’m the best person in the world, but I’ve tried to live a good life.”
    Despite Trump issuing the executive order that led to his ordered deportation, Ramirez, who came to the United States at age 11, said he still supports the president and considers himself a Republican.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/06/but-ive-tried-to-live-a-good-life-trump-supporting-california-minister-now-faces-deportation/

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      God damn I hate Disqus sometimes. Sorry for the double post.

    • From Russia with Love

      If your name is Ramirez and you are a Republican… I don’t know where to begin.

    • nightmoth

      Yum! Schadenfreude tastes good.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Kick him the hell out! Someone that stupid is beyond hope or help. Maybe he can figure out how to vote absentee from Tijuana or Monterey.

    • Claire

      Why do people never understand that if you leave it up to someone else to decide whether you’re “good people” or “bad people,” they might well not make the decision you expected them to make?

  • Sophia

    Happy Canada Day! While you might not agree with the beer, you have to agree with the sentiment

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WMxGVfk09lU

    • Oh, Canada,
      You remind us of how we could be. Not sure if we love or hate you for that to be honest….

  • Rick Hill

    donald! What are you doing to the country?!?
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/a6Vdgrm_700b.jpg

    • Bozilingus

      There must be an appropriate Calvin cartoon for every action taken by Donnie Two Scoops.

      • Suttree

        Bill Watterson is a modern day Nostradomas.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Thank goodness the White House openly quotes and relies on real and truthiness’ sources and doesn’t depend on fake news.

    https://media.tenor.com/images/5d8c20adc0cbfa5c462dd7746395b39e/tenor.gif

  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Duke

    I can’t believe that any serious new show, or one that wants to be serious, would book sweet Kellyanne.

    It’s a beautiful day in the Midwest. Gotta get to work and then do chores. The X will not X itself.

    • Bemused Australian

      The lawn will not lawn itself? Or the laundry will not laundry itself?

      • Msgr_MΩment

        The right will not right itself.

        • Bemused Australian

          That works. Doesn’t sound like a household chore though.

          • From Russia with Love

            Much more industrial.

      • ZangoCrudmonger

        Fish/fish? Laundry/launder? Can/can? Plant/plant? Dick/dick?

      • Duke

        Nor the groceries.

  • andyshelt

    “This is someone who’s trying to get those millions of women who lack health care coverage”

    Because nothing says better health care for women than defunding Planned Parenthood!

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      She didn’t lie because she just left off the end of her sentence, which was “…even sicker by denying them low-cost services, too.”

  • Rick Hill

    Hey, engineering nerds! The last gear in this train will take 13.7 billioooon years to make one rotation! Where’s your gawd now?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kb4J_uGdo9I

    • Msgr_MΩment

      So, if I grabbed the gears by the other end and started turning the really slow one at a moderate speed, could I get the tangential velocity on the gear currently being cranked to exceed the speed of light?

      • Bemused Australian

        Theoretically, but you’d need a lever 7.43 parsecs in length.

        • Msgr_MΩment

          We should torque about this later.

          • Rick Hill

            Why? You always try to ratio-lize everything

          • From Russia with Love

            Have a fig newton and mellow out.

      • OutOfOrbit

        That would require an infinite level of energy.

      • eggs ackly-wright

        Like Steven Wright said, “What if you were driving in a car at the speed of light and turned the headlights on?”

        • From Russia with Love

          I’ve actually outrun the sound of two Pratt and Whitney TF30-P jet engines numerous times. It happens right at about Mach I, believe it or not.

          • …weird. Is it all quiet then when you do that?

          • From Russia with Love

            You only hear/feel the vibration of the engines, regardless of your mach number, partly because the cockpit is so far out in front of the engine intakes, and partly because helmets are custom made to keep sound other than the radios out.

            Where you notice it is on the ground. If somebody goes overhead above Mach I, you don’t hear a thing until the sonic boom, because the jet is outrunning its own noise.

          • Rick Hill

            “…keep sound other than the radios out.”

            So you’re the guy who doesn’t hear the horn beeping when someone’s trying to pass.

    • Sedagive ’em Hell

      WHAT IS THS WICHCRAFT OF WICH YOU SPEEK?!?

      YES!1 SIENSE IZ THE DEVIL11!

  • Rick Hill

    I don’t think this is a genuine offer
    https://img-9gag-fun.9cache.com/photo/aDzwe27_700b.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      No, but it’s a brilliant idea for an ad.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    It’s very dismaying that NASA had to take time out of their busy schedule to say that “no, there aren’t child slave colonies on Mars.” That they felt the need to comment on that at all tells me they got a ton of calls about it.

    Good thing I’m already mentally ill, otherwis this would have pushed me over the edge.

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Of course they’re gonna deny it.

      • Bemused Australian

        Mars doesn’t even exist. NASA’s job is to guard the so called ‘South Pole’ (actually the outer rim of the Earth). Wake up Sheople!

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          We all know the Earth is flat and the sky is a hologram, just don’t expect NASA to confirm it until the Freemasons working with the Illuminati and the Lizard People give the “okay”.

          • From Russia with Love

            It was particularly difficult to keep up the illusion of a round earth before holograms were widely available.

          • Bemused Australian

            Apparently the Celestial Spheres were a real bastard to keep running properly. All that clockwork needed a shitload of maintenance.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            In the olden times, they had to make a small clay model and have it animated by Ray Harryhausen, That there is science stuff!

    • Dudleydidwrong

      How can there be child slave colonies on Mars when all the child slaves are in the basement of a pizza restaurant in DC. Get your stories straight, guys!

  • Rick Hill

    In today’s episode of the never ending saga of “trump said he would destroy the government, who knew that would be a bad thing?”……

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    The Time I Got Recruited to Collude with the Russians
    https://lawfareblog.com/time-i-got-recruited-collude-russians

    • From Russia with Love

      Like that one time at Band Camp.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        One time? You must not have a very purty mouth.

        • From Russia with Love

          Well, look at me!

    • Bemused Australian

      Did they give you a cool hat?

  • AJ Milne

    NY Mag today on the Smith thread:

    http://nymag.com/daily/intelligencer/2017/07/now-we-have-a-roadmap-to-trump-campaigns-russia-collusion.html

    … but, Trump, dear, you just keep tweeting. Maybe disgusting enough people further on a completely unrelated matter will help… Somehow.

    • Pft, they are failing. Rachel had that road map like a month ago

  • WomanInThePersistence
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Just looked at Russian T-Hooker tape’s low energy tweet about Joe and Mika from this morning. He’s doubling down on the misogyny by calling Mika “dumb as a rock”, which is his go-to for women who have TURNED DOWN HIS ADVANCES.

    But I’m not talking about that. Everyone else is doing a good job there. I’m instead going to focus on what T-man loves to call everyone else. . . Slurs against the mentally ill. “Crazy Joe”, “Nutcase”, “Nutjob”. He uses mental illness like it’s an insult and they’re just letting him get away with it. If he did this with literally any other form of illness, people would go off.

    Tell me there wouldn’t be more of an outcry if, for example, he said “Diabetic Joe” or called someone a “Palsy case”. I have no idea where I’m going with this, just really sick of having my own pain and diagnosis used as insults. I take it personally and I’m sorry about that.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Call your Congresscritter and Senators and demand that they denounce his use of mental illness as an insult. Also write to the various nonprofits that advocate for mental illness and demand that they issue such a statement.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Funny thing is, I actually have been doing that. Called and faxed yesterday about that very thing. NAMI has been getting communications as well. I’m expecting at least NAMI to denounce this. It’s troubling to realize this is what he considers an “insult”.

    • Bemused Australian

      Donald insults and degrades pretty much everyone for all things real and imagined. He wants as many people as possible to be hurt and belittled. The guy’s an arsehole, fuck him, his opinion’s worth squat ‘cos he knows nothing.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I’m not so much thinking about myself as others within the community who are far more fragile. They see shit like this and it hurts them deeply. I even had to talk a kid down from suicide about this kind of thing. Sometimes words have deeply messed up real life consequences.

        He’s wanting to take healthcare away from most mentally disabled people and on the back end of that, he’s dehumanizing us as well. This is not “okay”, you know?

        • From Russia with Love

          No, it is not OK.

          Fuck Trump.

        • Bemused Australian

          I know man. I suffer from pretty severe depression and anxiety, and know others who do. I also have a number of family members who are mental health professionals. It isn’t okay, and I take it seriously. The problem with Donald is that he isn’t going to stop. No matter what anyone says or does, he’s going to keep doing this shit. It should be condemned publicly, and your congresspeoples ought to be all over that. Sadly, I suspect the more he’s called out the more he’ll do it, or at least that’s his pattern with other things.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            I know you’re right. It would just be encouraging to people who are struggling right now to hear some sort of condemnation for this kind of language. It does deeply hurt a lot of very vulnerable people.

          • From Russia with Love

            So, is Donny’s problem nature or nurture. I suspect the latter.

          • Nurture. He is a product, not an original.

    • From Russia with Love

      “If he did this with literally any other form of illness, people would go off.”

      Or not:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZcuWba_HgU

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Oh, I remember that. It really should have ended there. Then Catholic4Trump came out and claimed he never did that, despite the video proof. That was pretty much the start of the death of truth.

        • From Russia with Love

          Indeed.

        • Angry Red Bird DGAF

          And the church’s credibility.

        • Bemused Australian

          Apparently Trump was imitating the reporter ‘grovelling’. Thinnest excuse I ever heard. Typical fucking bully.

    • :snuggle: we were just having this conversation below!
      I for one agree on that. Especially since Joe is a lot of things, but most certainly has never displayed anything remotely crazy.
      It might sooth a little to know, with Trump, it is all projection

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        That’s something I’m afraid of. We know T-bone is mentally unstable but what if his condition creates a backlash against all mental illness. I mean, what if society starts judging all of us based on his actions? Does that make any sense?

        • Not sure this will make you feel any better but…..
          a: Society always judges all based on the few. Forever and always. There’s no getting around that one.
          b: Society specifically judges mental illness with a particular harshness.

        • Bemused Australian

          Just make sure a lizard suit is fitted to his corpse before the open-casket, then tell people that is his true form. The Skinks might catch an unfair backlash, but there’s always a price.

          But, to be serious, if anyone’s going to cop judgement over Trump, it’ll be plutocratic narcissists devoid of empathy. He may be delusional, but his main malfunction is just being a really awful human being.

    • ariel_gee_398

      He is a garbage person who likes mocking people he thinks are more vulnerable than him. It’s a despicable trait and should have been enough to disqualify him. The only good thing is that I think we have made strides in the past 10 years in destigmatizing mental illness and he’s not going to make that go away.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        You’re right about the strides we’ve made. Mental health is practically no longer a dirty word. More and more people are coming out as either being in therapy or having been in therapy. It’s slowly becoming acceptable to take care of your mental state. I’ve been dealing with this for going on forty years now and I cannot deny the huge change. Doctors are getting better at diagnosing, therapies are improving and medications are getting much, much better.

        There’s no longer shame in seeing a psychiatrist or therapist. Soon, it will just be accepted as standard and that’s really my hope. My hope is that mental health is treated with the same seriousness as health in general because the two are inexorably linked. I would love to see options where a routine psychological evaluation is not something that frightens people. It should be part and parcel of any annual check-up. It’s better to find and treat mental disorders early, before they get worse. Sorry for the rant, but this is my personal crusade.

        • ariel_gee_398

          No need to apologize. We (as a society) have wasted a lot of time, money and emotional energy treating mental illness and its side effects like a moral failing instead of a disease, exacerbating problems instead of helping. I can understand being afraid that we’re going to backslide.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      While the society I live in (maybe not where you are) has improved, I still have to filter out some terms (like retard and others) when dealing with most of the typical people I meet. One shark pup is autistic, so we (as a family) still filter some terms. It sucks, but we can’t change everyone.

      That being said, we do gently correct those who use terms that are derogatory in order to help them learn. Most learn, some do not.

      • I like that. Most learn, some do not. Sort of focus on the successes which outweigh the failures ^.^

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I read quite a bit about autism and even work, when I can, with autistic adults. It’s a very complicated condition. It’s hard to talk someone down from a meltdown sometimes.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Parents learn some strategies that work with their children to talk them down from meltdowns. The complexity is that our strategies work with our child, but probably won’t work for others in the same position. The community shares ideas, and hopes that one of our tricks helps someone else.

          Social media is horrible for anyone who can’t filter … and the shark pup is one of those people. Therefore, no FB or Twitter for him.

          P.S. – Good reading for understanding … google up executive functions, and understand that autistic folks’ executive functions are usually not working right.

          • :snuggles:

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            *hugs* That’s very wise on several levels.

      • Poorly Behaved Pérsistanista

        I bake bread and when it goes the fridge overnight before baking the technical term for that is “retarding” the dough and I get stupid, juvenile pleasure from being able to say the word with impunity (though it does get french pronunciation, “ray’-tard.”

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Having an autistic grandchild I feel as you do–and hope that I would feel as you do if I did not have a lovely grandchild who was autistic. Trump* has no sense of humanity outside of his little solipsistic bubble; insults come easy for him, and allegedly he’s our leader.

    • shivaskeeper

      It depends on where the outcry comes from. If you are expecting outcry form the GOPers at this point the answer is “No”. He’s already made fun of the physically disabled. Warren is Pocahontas as a racial slur. Every single person he wants to be mean too is low energy, sad, weak, failing, crazy, or whatever else passes for clever in his addled bran.

      He has been ramping this shit up for a while. I would not be surprised to see the N-word or other slightly less racist terms in his tweets sooner rather than later. Nor would I be surprised to see the word retarded in there.

      • Bemused Australian

        The worst insult would be for Don to tell someone that they’re like him. That’d be enough to test anybody’s mental fortitude.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Not stupid, not expecting any outcry from the GOP. I know they all talk this way in private anyway. I’m mostly petitioning advocacy groups to denounce this kind of behavior. It’s not much, but it’s all I can really do.

        • shivaskeeper

          You do what you can do. I know where you’re coming from when whole groups get stigmatized by the actions of a few jackasses. Anytime a vet goes and does something asinine I wait for the PTSD excuse.

        • Pre-Truth Ron

          That’s an EXCELLENT thing to do, actually.

    • Zyxomma

      Don’t be sorry about that. Ever.

    • CripesAmighty

      Oh, he’ll get there.

    • idiotboy

      He is projecting as always, we have nothing to feel sorry about except for the mess we are in right now.

  • memzilla Ω
  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
  • The Wanderer

    The 2017 Tour de France has begun:

    https://i.makeagif.com/media/2-19-2014/rkSNl3.gif

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      hehe!

    • From Russia with Love

      How can you tell? Is he headed towards the drug store?

      • The Wanderer

        Probably the pharmacy in the market.

    • snigsy

      Jeez. I’m old enough to remember Arte Johnson.

      • The Wanderer

        I’m old enough to recall being allowed to stay up to watch Laugh-In.

        • snigsy

          Exactly! Say good night, Dick.

          • The Wanderer

            Good night, Dick!

      • From Russia with Love

        That’s two of us.

      • CripesAmighty

        Verrrrrrrrry interestink!

        • Pre-Truth Ron

          But shtoopid!

    • Saxo the Grammarian

      Too soon. (Alejandro Valverde crashed and is in the hospital.)

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Still waiting for the news scoop that Donnie Dumbass is foreshadowing with his rants against the fake media. Must be a doozy.

    I hope Melania has stockpiled some cash and updated her passport like I suggested …

    • From Russia with Love

      What country issued it?

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I would guess Slovenia … and Barron’s would be a US passport. Maybe Barron can hide her in his luggage …

  • Rick Hill

    Today’s tweet about Dumb as a rock Mishka takes the cake, we really need a standard means of signifying a real trump tweet from a fake.

    • From Russia with Love

      It’s fake if it is about a woman and makes no mention of her bleeding.

    • ariel_gee_398

      If it sets off a wave of panic and shame-induced nausea, it’s probably real.

  • ariel_gee_398

    Sometimes, racial bias in media coverage is really subtle and hard to see. Then there’s this: https://twitter.com/KatePow3ll/status/880761369657847809

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Jeezus! This has to stop.

      • It won’t though :/
        There’s this show called Blackish on the ABC and I do not care, it is funny!
        They even did the election thing and all the guy’s co workers were all zomg Trump? NOooooooo whine whine and finally he goes Hey, now you know what it is like to be black, to do everything right and STILL get shit. Now what are you going to do about it?
        Friggin sitcom shamed me.

    • You should ice that burn

      Read the comments to that post, one clueless moron (#Dubsmatter) posted :”If anything, being a white male means you have no privilege.”
      These idiots have convinced themselves that whiteness is an unbearable burden in America today..Too stupid to know how stupid they are..SMH

      • sw19covfefe

        They don’t call it White Man’s Burden for nothing, you know.

        • You should ice that burn

          It’s kind of like the French “Mission Civilizatrice”, sounds good and all, until it becomes colonialism and exploitation..

      • idiotboy

        You cannot begin to imagine the burden, sometimes I think about getting my skin darkened or going out in blackface. In the 60’s and 70’s while growing up in our segregated community (San Fernando valley) it was not a problem but now…..oh my, the horror we face daily.

  • Bozilingus
  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    “Reality” check, July 1, 2017:

    The National Enquirer speaks for the POTUS.

    Teen Vogue and PornHub are active parts of the Resistance.

    • Surprisingly, this fits in with my sense of rightness, really.
      Fake president, so fake rag
      And we get all the Pr0n and makeup tips.

      • Sedagive ’em Hell

        The revolution will be both earnest and risqué.

        • From Russia with Love

          Promise me it will be televised!

          • Pre-Truth Ron

            Promise me it WON’T.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            It will, but onlt adult PPV channels. Check your local listings for availability and prices. Additional equipment may be required. (Can you tell that my mom used to be the office manger of a cable company?)

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Graphic and erudite.

    • From Russia with Love

      And GQ.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      And Cracked.

  • mary5920

    Ms South Carolina 2007 will be Dump’s future daily briefing gal.

  • BMW
  • Nasty Girl Brianna

    Honestly, why does ANY media outlet other than Fox even bother with this lying skank? She has NEVER said a single true thing. Not one fucking word. Ever.

  • toughsister

    I’ve about given up on ever seeing Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann in a torrid lesbian scene, but I still hope for one between Kellyanne Conway and Ann Coulter. Is that too much to hope for?

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Oooh, if you get it (Palin/Bachmann), don’t Bogart it!

      If KAC is involved, NOT at all interested!

  • toughsister

    Miss Teen South Carolina 2007. Coming soon to a strip joint near you.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Don’t tell Donnie! Melanoma’s show n her age!

  • DaveM

    And now every one knows just how stupid South Carolina is. A lovely word salad spoken with hardly a hint of southern accent. The stupid still exists but they are trying to cover it. Kind like a cat trying to cover on a tile floor. Shit is pretty obvious.

  • Margodrodgers

    my classmate’s aunt gets $88 an hour on the internet.. she has been without work for 11 months. last month her paycheck was $14872 working at home for a few hours per week… ➤ go here to this➤ site
    http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs417GroupFox/Home/Wage….
    ✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤✤::::ax127..

  • fifthdentist

    You tell that ‘air libtard commy, Leni Anne Conwaystalh.

  • Darlenegjones

    my buddy’s half-sister gets $75 an hour on the internet.. she’s been out of work for twelve months but last month her revenue was $15553 just working on the internet a couple of hours every day… ➤ go➤ to
    http://www.GoogleFinancialCashJobs404MarketWise/Home/Wage….
    ▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲▲::::ac114…

  • girdyerloins

    Such a ghastly woman, assuming she is a woman and not some kind of wretched hologram.
    What is it with you Murrikans, that you have this pathetic need to give such moistened bints like her and those other clodhoppers that hijacked the news during the shrub years the time of day?
    There just has to be something of the carnival barker in all of this…….

  • girdyerloins

    Sorry, folks. I forgot to include this brief reminder.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QPKKQnijnsM

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