•
•

Long time lurker, first time poster - Advice please (self.MGTOW)

timetobecomeaman が 投稿

So i have a situation and its one of those situations where i think i know the answer but I want to hear it in different ways from different people with much more life experience than me.

I am 30, been living abroad for 10 months and soon to go home to a girl that has been waiting for me. When I come back, she wants for us to move in etc etc.

I should have ended it before I left. In fact I did, then the next morning, 3 days before my flight thousands of miles way, she texts and says how horny she is etc etc so I agree for her to come to mine (silly) we have sex and she convinces me to keep in touch and Skype a couple of times a week and she will wait for me.

Issue is, we should have broken up many times before. Her dad left when she was 2 (huge red flag I have come to learn from this sub and other friends experiences) It was when I met her mother for the first time a lot fell into place like how she used to just randomly shut down etc. My friends called her the energy vampire because i put so much into things but hardly got anything back. Well, the sex was good and on a plate whenever and she never said no in 3 years.

I'm a good looking guy, 6ft 5, good job and literally a whole load of opportunities ahead. I could go to another country with my job and think I will as home (UK) has its issues. Also have some bitcoin that has made me a good chunk of money as bought in at 1k and still holding a good amount.

More i think about it, MGTOW is the way. My brother is 33 and recently had a baby, bought a house and girlfriend quit job... Doctor told him recently he has high blood pressure.. at 33.

Only thing is I want to have kids at some point. I think I need to end this relationship before I arrive home. I know as soon as I start seeing her (oh yeah i went back at xmas but she never visited me so haven't seen her for 6 months. says she is scared of flying as is 11 hour flight but would be ok to fly if she was flying with me when she brought up bali as a holiday destination and i told her it was 13 hours away) If i start seeing her again, i know it will be a lot harder to leave. Only thing is I feel guilty as i am a naturally soft person.

Sorry for long post but any words of wisdom will be much appreciated. I have spent a few months reading these posts and maybe comments received below will help others.

One last thing, a couple of years back when I broke up with her, she told me she had an abortion. She said she did it because she could see i was ambitious and not ready for a kid.... MASSIVE RED FLAG. I had an idea she was making it up so i played on how guilty i was feeling then a few weeks later she told me she did it because there was something wrong with the baby and apparently they can tell that after 3 weeks. I know it was a lie and the only way i justified it was she loved me so much she tried to say anything to make me reconsider my decision. But as i look back I imagine if it was a friend in this situation and i would tell him he is nuts for staying in the relationship and I think I was too.

Cheers

全 13 件のコメント
並べ替え:
ベスト (提案されたアイデア)
トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]TVTestPattern 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

So... you need some advice about continuing a relationship with a lying, baby murdering chick with daddy issues and a bipolar sounding mother?

Ummm... no you don't. You have already made the decision... now you just need to understand it brother.

[–]timetobecomeaman[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

And brother, let me tell you comments like this help. Because you are anonymous and completely disconnected from the sitution and i have presented just facts and not opinion. So a couple weeks after i end it, if i feel nostalgic and tempted to get back with her again I will read this post and your comment which acts both as a time stamp and a reminder. And to give something back to those that think its a worthless post, i will update you on my new life in 6 months to pass on the baton to others. Thanks man.

[–]DangZagnut 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (4子コメント)

You know what you need to do. She'll be fine. Women are always able to find someone.

You need to save yourself. You'll feel guilty, and one day you'll get over it. You'll feel and be open to shame, and you'll get over that too. You'll feel like an asshole, too bad.

Get over it. She will. She waited for you for 10 whole months. Your life isn't over. Her life isn't over. No reason to fuck it up for both of you.

DO NOT FUCKING HAVE SEX WITH HER, BREAK UP OVER THE PHONE You don't have to see her in person, you can see her on Skype if you have to. You will knock her up if you get within 6 meters of her. Stay away.

[–]silive 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Nobody "waits" for anyone anymore. Over 50% of MARRIED women have the orbiters ready to step in should the marriage fail. And that includes ALL marriages so if we subtract people over 55 or 60, the number would be no less than 70%. And as of non-married young chicks spending their life on "social" media, the number would EASILY be over 90%. I do not have to flip the coin to assume that she was more likely than not fucking one or even multiple dudes while "waiting" for the OP. I recently read that an AVERAGE unmarried young woman in England have 25 dates with DIFFERENT guys per YEAR (that is one every two weeks). And she fucks quarter of those (read 6). That's a new dude every two month! And that's average!

[–]DangZagnut 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You're most likely right, if not in action, then on the back burner ready to move at the signal.

[–]silive 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep. Covering their bets is their basic biology.

[–]timetobecomeaman[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks man. 'This too shall pass' is a spiritual saying that has stuck with me since reading that fantastic book 'The Power of Now -Eckhart Tolle. Getting her pregnant was always a big fear because i could see she was not mother material and also the fear of being tied to her indefinitely. Thanks for your words. I will be re-reading them over the coming weeks. The other way i am stopping myself feel too bad is its better to end it and run than stay with her and not really want to deep down. Shes just turning 26 in August so plenty of time for her to move on as you say. Thanks again

[–]rtmlex 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

RUN MOTHERFUCKER, RUN!!!

[–]silive 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

If you know what we are going to say, why in the world do you need our advice?

[–]timetobecomeaman[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Because i am struggling to take action even though I am 'awake' to the situation. I wondered if others had been in this situation where they know what they need to do and if there was any advice in this sphere with regards to coming out the other side etc. Sorry you couldn't contribute but thanks for your question. Seeing the light and knowing what to do is different to doing it and I imagine there must be someone out there who has been in this position and I await their words.

[–]silive 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Look. Your experience in no way unique and almost everyone here has been in the same situation more or less. I certainly have. Have almost all of my ex-girl"friends" said they had abortions? Yes, they have. They even used the same phrasing. My advice to you is this: take the sex out of the equation and you would probably not even be friends with her, let alone trying to partner with her on any venture of importance. Especially considering the outrageously gynocentric laws in the UK from what I read. So every time you feel you're "falling for some female", do what the first poster /r/rtmlex said: RUN MOTHERFUCKER, RUN!!! It's MUCH better to suffer a bit now than to suffer A LOT later, don't you think?

[–]Paladin2903 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Run for the hills, my friend. She has daddy and abandonment issues. It depends on the girl, but ** usually** these girls don't bond too well to their significant other, and there will be an impenetrable wall that is up, and it will be the size of the Great Wall of China.

I would also bet a generous 2k that she fucked someone else, in that year that you were away. There's no such thing as the good woman who waits for you to get home. That's a Hollyweird fantasy.

There is, however, such a thing as the whore who is texting Chad a week after you leave. Just ask any military guy how those long distance relationships worked out.

If I'm you, I'm running for the hills....even if they have eyes.