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God Hates Both of Heather’s Mommies

This Neil Gorsuch guy just might not be the brilliant legal powerhouse he’s cracked up to be. Take, for instance, this overview of Gorsuch’s dissent in Monday’s decision establishing that states can’t refuse to list same-sex parents on their children’s birth certificate. Gorsuch’s dissent, which was joined by Clarence Thomas and Samuel Alito, includes one serious factual error and some specious legal arguments, and raises the question of whether Gorsuch was just really sloppy, or outright evil in arguing that states have some reason to treat same-sex parents differently from all other couples.

First, the background stuff: In its landmark 2015 Obergefell v. Hodges decision, the Court said states not only had to let The Gays get married, but also that they must grant same-sex couples “the constellation of [marital] benefits” available to all married couples, and specifically mentioned they had to be treated equally in “birth and death certificates,” which you’d figure would have settled it.

But in the case decided Monday, Pavan v. Smith, Arkansas, the state refused to list Marisa Pavan on the birth certificate for her daughter, even though Marisa is legally married to the baby’s birth mom, Terrah Pavan, who used artificial insemination to get pregnant. For opposite-sex couples who use artificial insemination, the husband is listed on the birth certificate as father regardless of whether his sperms are used in the procedure. Obviously, straight people would go bugfuck crazy if the state insisted the sperm donor’s name be listed, or if the space for the second parent were left blank. But the state refused to list Marisa as the child’s other parent, because Arkansas.

The state claimed it had an interest in recording the children’s “biological parentage,” which was good enough for the state supreme court, because, again, Arkansas. But the Pavans insisted that under Obergefell, states have to treat same-sex couples “on the same terms and conditions as opposite-sex couples,” and since Arkansas lets non-donor daddies of turkey-baster babies be listed on birth certificates, then it has to do the same for two mommies, too. The majority on Monday decided in the Pavans’ favor, pointing out that the state’s birth certificates already consider “more than just genetics,” at least for heterosexual parents.

Gorsuch’s dissent, says Slate columnist Mark Joseph Stern, relies on two main arguments. One is just plain factually incorrect, and the other is outright illogical. First off, Gorsuch gets the facts about Arkansas law completely wrong:

[Gorsuch] wrote that the court should have dismissed the appeal because “in this particular case and all others of its kind, the state agrees, the female spouse of the birth mother must be listed on birth certificates too.” What? That issue lay at the heart of this case — but Gorsuch has it exactly backward: Arkansas explicitly refused to list “the female spouse of the birth mother” on birth certificates. That’s how the case wound up at the Supreme Court in the first place.

So, yes, the distinguished legal mind of Neil Gorsuch got the basic dispute at the heart of the case dead wrong and ass-backwards (a position, we should mention, that’s still technically illegal in Arkansas, despite the SCOTUS ruling in Lawrence v. Texas).

Gorsuch also claimed that the Pavans’ case didn’t belong in the Supreme Court because they should have sued to overturn the Arkansas statute on artificial insemination instead of challenging the state policy on whose names can go on birth certificates. That doesn’t make a hell of a lot of sense either. Shannon Minter, the legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights, which represented the Pavans, pointed out they didn’t want to overturn the state law on artificial insemination, they wanted to be afforded the same rights straight couples have under that statute. Challenging that law would have accomplished nothing, except maybe pissing off a lot of opposite-sex couples had it somehow been overturned.

Minter is pretty sure he knows what’s up with Gorsuch’s dissent:

“Gorsuch is plainly still attempting to revive the biological rationale for treating same-sex couples differently,” Minter said. “I think he’s trying to provide a road map for hostile state courts by suggesting that they should go back to these biological justifications. He wants to recast family law in this narrowly biologistic way that’s reverse engineered to exclude gay people. But that’s not going to work, because state family law is not just about biology. There is no state in the country that limits either legal parentage or birth certificates to biological parents.”

We already knew Gorsuch is prone to reading statutes and precedents in the narrowest way possible as long as that supports corporate fuckery or government discrimination, as in his rulings on Hobby Lobby, the “Frozen Trucker,” and the school district that didn’t bother educating special needs kids beyond absolutely minimal standards. And in the “Frozen Trucker” case, Gorsuch twisted a labor rule beyond recognition to help an employer win: The rule, you’ll recall, prohibited firing employees who refused to operate unsafe equipment, but Gorsuch said the truck driver deserved to be fired since he’d operated the tractor of his unheated truck, after being told to stay put and freeze, driving away from the trailer, which was unsafe since it had frozen brakes.

Given that history of extremely selective reading, we’re inclined to think the problems in his Pavan dissent aren’t merely innocent mistakes, probably. We’d expect Donald Trump to be dumb and duplicitous. Neil Gorsuch is more dangerous because he knows exactly what he’s doing.

In Wonkette’s official opinion, the newest Supreme Court Justice is a crook.


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  • msanthropesmr

    Emails. Unlikeable. Shrew. Pantsuit. Clinton foundation. Deplorables.

    Purity ponies, please please please go fuck yourself.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Lighten up. He’ll only be on the bench for 35, 40 years.

      • Suttree

        Meteor/Fiery Death 2020!

        • Oblios_Cap

          Your wish has a good chance of coming true.

    • JustDon’tSayShank

      …and repeat until always

  • Swampay

    Weird! The SCOTUS member who was picked in a wholly crooked way is also a crook! Who could have predicted that?

  • stankbait

    It’s a fucking Idiocracy!

  • jesterpunk
    • Werewolf

      ☹️

  • Gorillionaire

    Both parties are the same, blah blah blah blah blah….

  • Oblios_Cap

    Turkey Baster Babies is my new band name.

    • Hey everyone, Thanksgiving is at Oblios_Cap’s house this year!!!!!!!!

      • Oblios_Cap

        Bring an instrument!

        • arglebargle

          I have an organ. Oh wait, you have a turkey baster.

        • I’ll play the spoons!

        • JustDon’tSayShank

          I’ll bring forceps!

      • Suttree

        Can I stick my dick in the mashed potatoes?

        • arglebargle

          It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

        • GODAMNIT SUTTREE, IT”S TURKEY BASTER BABIES!

          • Suttree

            I figured if it was that kinda party……

  • schmannity

    The Revenge of McDonnell. The sequel coming soon to a hospital or doctor’s office near you.

  • foreign agitator Captain Kraut

    Good golly, who would’ve thought that?

    I hear Roland Freisler was quite a down to earth type as well…

  • Bigby

    So….”Christ, what an asshole” for the next 37 years, huh? Was it worth it Theyrethesamers? But by all means let’s “be civil” then “look forward” when/if we *ever* get back into power after the Trumpocalypse.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Susan Sarandon has a very special place in Hell reserved for her, one where they do the Time Warp 24/7/365

      • Three Finger Salute

        There is no God. Tim Curry had a massive stroke and is in a wheelchair.

      • mardam422

        She’s no better than Republicans. Everything is fine, for her, so what’s the problem? She has hers. Why should she care if a bunch of people have to suffer?

      • Christopher Story

        I’m gonna go visit that part of hell when I get there. Sounds like it could be fun. For me, not Susan.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    Are you happy with Berning It All Down yet?

    • I believe the response will be that “Well, he was in the minority so it doesn’t matter, QED!” to wit of course you smack them in the head and tell them to go look up the meaning of precedent.

    • mardam422

      Thanks, Pennsylvania.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Wisconsin and Michigan demand your thanks, too!

      • pussygrabber in chief

        “California and New York shouldn’t be allowed to elect the president!” Yeah, far better to leave it to a few counties in Pennsylvania.

    • Doug Langley

      Yes, they certainly showed Hillary for coughing at that one speech.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    “Yes, God made your Dad and Mom. It was God. Why do you ask, you little shit-for-brains?”…

  • FauxAntocles

    Conservative = EVIL
    Somebody had to say it.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Or, as FDR said, “a conservative is a man with two perfectly good legs who, however, has never learned how to walk”.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Trump would just make fun of FDR for being in a wheelchair.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          Mike Pence loves that bit.

    • arglebargle

      Here’s a quote I saved from the Wonkette many moons ago. I didn’t write down who the commenter was, unfortunately.

      Once, I cried because I had no shoes. Then I met a Republican who knocked me down and took my socks.

  • Beanz&Berryz

    But also too, just how… did Alito and Thomas and all the assorted clerks miss the fundamental fact error in the dissent? There’s even more dumb-assery in the SCOTUS conservative branch than can be imagined.

    • Oblios_Cap

      You noticed that?

  • Fartknocker

    Oh come on, he’s just new at this and doesn’t understand the policies and protocols.

    Paul Ryan – Mr. PX90 Wisconsin

  • Scooby

    Maybe he was just distracted by the pubic hair in his Coke.

  • Jenny

    Were the other justices like yeah man you write the dissent so they could have something to laugh at?

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    Didn’t we realize he was a crook when he accepted the nomination instead of doing the right thing and saying Garland deserved a hearing?

  • Suttree
    • Pre-Truth Ron

      Brolly Bunny taking the morning off?

      • Suttree

        Poor thing needs a break every now and again. :)

  • Villago Delenda Est

    He is his mother’s son.

    His mother was a vile reactionary bitch.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    The good news is he’s agreeing with the plaintiffs, in their bid to keep both mothers off the birth certificate, and his dissent ruled against the state’s requirement that same sex couples have both names included. So…. win?

  • Michael R
    • armed_bears

      AOT,K

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Somewhere Merrick Garland is quietly shaking his head.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      If I were Merrick Garland I’d be on beach somewhere quietly getting drunk.

      • proudgrampa

        I’d be right there with him…

      • Pre-Truth Ron

        And NOT in the US.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    What is “bullshit that wouldn’t fly in a 1L legal research class”, Alex?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Don’t quit your day job Neil. Oh wait….

  • proudgrampa

    *sigh*

    It’s just too early in the day for this…

  • bupkus231

    “In Wonkette’s official opinion, the newest Supreme Court Justice is a crook.”

    Who knew?

  • Joe Beese

    Near the end of a profile of Amanda Chantal Bacon, founder of the “wellness” brand Moon Juice, the New York Times Magazine noted that many of the alternative-medicine ingredients in her products are sold—with very different branding—on the Infowars store. …

    Goop sells cordyceps as a dietary supplement; Infowars infuses them into its “Wake Up America” coffee.

    https://qzprod.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/sun-potion-wake-up1.jpg

    https://qz.com/1010684/all-the-wellness-products-american-love-to-buy-are-sold-on-both-infowars-and-goop/

    • Are you tellin me the woo merchants are all connected somehow????

    • MynameisBlarney

      Cordyceps?
      Isn’t that the fungus that makes zombies out of ants?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Ophiocordyceps unilateralis. I don’t if it is the exact same kind, but they are probably related.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        The Last Of Us started from InfoWars supplements!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Trucker speed can take many digestible forms.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Go where the marks are.

    • keinsignal

      Y’all are aware that cordyceps is the “zombie ant” fungus, right? The one that infects insects and reprograms their brains so that they climb up the tallest thing they can find just before they die and release a cloud of spores?

  • WotsAllThisThen

    We’ll have to wait to hear the Supreme Court’s opinion on women who bleed out of their plastic surgery wherevers.

  • TJ Barke

    The national facepalm meme stockpile is dangerously depleted! We may soon exhaust the supply!

  • x111e7thst

    This may have the effect of driving Roberts further towards what passes for the center in US AmeriKKKa these days. Roberts seems to have some respect for both law and logic.
    Gorsuch otoh is a pig fucker. allegedly.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      As long as it doesn’t favor some individual over some corporate entity, he might be willing to bend a little…

    • MynameisBlarney

      Gorsuch has yet to deny fucking said pig.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        LBJ had his number.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        I can neither confirm nor deny the existence of such a pig, but many people are talking about it.

        • aureolaborealis

          Whether or not it exists, it’s clear that he sodomized it. Why isn’t the media reporting on that?

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            What about these reports I keep seeing about a farm-animal sex ring being run out of the basement of Mar-a-Lago?

  • Michael R

    He promised to follow precedent on this , so LIE

    If you want to make shit up you use this approach :

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/92ca401379e5939dd34d1e60cfda701591b0c271b7c1d895ad8b274d579e824f.jpg

    • “Be PROUD of your idiocy!”

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Especially when it is in direct contradiction of the teachings of Jesus as outlined in the Gospels.

        • Pre-Truth Ron

          How do you reconcile it when one’s Sincerely Held Beliefs turn out to be extracted whole from one’s rectum? The courts need to start treating these people the way they do sovcits.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      “I’m dumb and I’m proud. Hail Jeebus! Wait, what? I’m in hell? How’d that happen?”

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        “And why are they playing Wagner here?!”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Have the courage to have your wisdom regarded as stupidity…but don’t overdo it, Gorsuch, you moran.”
      — Ghost of Antonin Scalia

    • jodyleek

      It’s not “wisdom” if it’s stupid, Stupid.

  • Jennifer R

    The list of solutions for solving unelected problems is very short.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      As the NRA teaches: Second amendment, bitches.

      • Three Finger Salute

        As in, repeal it with votes.

        We don’t want to end up being blamed for another Scalisegate.

        • Jennifer R

          Again there isn’t a voting answer to Gorsuch.

          • Three Finger Salute

            True, but we still don’t want to end up being blamed for another Scalisegate. We’re stuck with this turd for now, but what we have to do is flip the Senate and win in 2020 so that if another Justice retires or dies, it won’t be Trump nominating a fascist replacement who the Republicans give a rubber stamp to. The nomination would either get Borked (Merricked?) in 2018 or it’d be a Democratic president in 2020+ nominating the replacement.

        • pussygrabber in chief

          We’ll be blamed regardless. And the chances of repealing the second amendment are non-existent.

      • Fritz1964

        but only the second half…

    • Crystalclear12
      • Jennifer R

        There is a process for removing infirm justice too. It isn’t specifically just for someone too sick to continue and too stubborn to quit, but it is it’s intended use. While I doubt very much any level of crookedness on the part of Neil or the administration would see it invoked anytime soon it does exist. Sadly it’s up to the discretion of the other justices.

  • Vincent Ricola

    “This Neil Gorsuch guy just might not be the brilliant legal powerhouse he’s cracked up to be.”

    Assumes facts absolutely in evidence.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    In the next session I expect he’ll agree to Trump’s request to strike down the travel ban.

  • pussygrabber in chief

    I can just hardly wait for this court to rule on the religious homophobe cake baker appeal. I don’t trust Kennedy on this issue since it doesn’t involve marriage equality per se.

    • II Gosala

      wait! What? Religious bakers bake homophobe cakes? Those aren’t the cakes we like.

  • Three Finger Salute

    If Kennedy retires and RBG starts having chest pains during her 4am jumping jacks we’re doomed.

    • RBG does her pull up’s and push up’s from 4 a.m. – 4:30

      Crunches 4:30 – 5

      Acro-yoga 5 – 6

      Zazen 6-7

      Jumping jacks are her cool down in the elevator at the S.C.

      • Three Finger Salute

        We need her to stick around for the next 240 years.

      • II Gosala

        What does she do on leg day?

        • One legged squats with the weight of the entire nation on her shoulders.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    None of this had to happen and would not have happened were it nor for republican obstructionism. Merrick Garland should have filled that seat.

    • Doug Langley

      Could one argue that since McConnell and team refused to do their job, we’re already in a Constitutional crisis?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        One could, I believe. Of course, I’m far from a legal mind, so that’s just typing out of my ass.

      • II Gosala

        We are well past a merely Constitutional crisis. I fear we may be headed toward the kind of collapse described by Jared Diamond.

      • Jim Johnson

        Yes, McConnell led the first strike in going nuclear.

  • mardam422

    Well, it’s not like we missed out on having some smart guy on the SC, instead, right?

    • Crystalclear12

      You know, salting wounds is not helpful.

      • mardam422

        Remembering the pain will help us avoid it in the future.

        • Pre-Truth Ron

          Really? It hasn’t yet.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    If Gorsuch was the trial judge for Hannibal Lecter

    Gorsuch: Counselor, if this man committed murder, where is the body.
    DA: Sir, he ate the body. We proved that.
    Gorsuch: He ate the body that’s a crazy thing to do!
    DA: We would be fine with a finding of criminal insanity as long as it keeps him confined safely away from the public.
    Gorsuch: But how can this man be crazy? He’s a psychiatrist. The constitution says “Physician, heal thyself”
    DA: Actually that’s from the bible, your honor.
    Gorsuch: My point exactly. Case dismissed.

    • jodyleek

      Reminds me of the defense’s claims in the first Robert Durst murder trial.

    • PubOption

      While reading that I heard Gorsuch speaking with Groucho Marx’ voice.

      • pussygrabber in chief

        Mwahahahahahahaha!

  • Crystalclear12

    We must employ the southern method for unwanted male removal. Fried chicken, cakes, bacon and repeatedly insisting they “eat it all up.”. This does take awhile but is very effective. My great aunt Gertrude got rid of three husbands this way.

    • Pre-Truth Ron

      You sure it wasn’t the elderberry wine?

      • eggs ackly-wright

        We’re off to Panama!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      And at the funeral, everyone pats your shoulder and praises you for your devoted wifehood. And also, you can be on the lookout for next husband.

      • Crystalclear12

        So, you are familiar with the method.

    • Fritz1964

      I think the high-fat menu had been replaced by meth…

    • Mpeg

      <3
      Thanks for the laugh~

  • OneYieldRegular

    Justice Gorsuch concluded his dissent by stating that he objected to the Court’s refusal to recognize the fundamental social tenet that lesbians are icky, adding in an ad hoc addendum that, in view of the importance of the case and of the Court’s mechanism for allowing individual justices to file a dissent on whatever grounds they felt merited one, he would like to take the opportunity to fully agree with President Trump that Mika’s plastic surgery looked botched.

    • Bananas Foster

      Believing that lesbians are icky is downright un-American.

      • Three Finger Salute

        Only the “hot” ones like Melania. The not so hot ones are an abomination to God and his righteous Penthouse kingdom.

        • Bananas Foster

          Melania is gay?

          • Bozilingus

            I saw the pictures. They would not lie, would they?

        • Fritz1964

          “Dear Penthouse Forum: Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, but…”

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Wait lesbians are real? It’s not just a porn thing? Are cheerleaders and nurses real too?”
      — Gorsuch

  • Doug Langley

    Hamilton Burger libelz!!!

    • Fritz1964

      Mmmm…Burgers. Warren?

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Shorter Gorsuch:
    You claim the state didn’t do a thing, but IIRC they did. Maybe I’m wrong, but who can know for sure. That’s what I’m going with. I therefore dissent!

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    Fuck this. I’m going back to yesterday’s open thread post and stare at Trudeau’s crotch some more.

    • Crystalclear12

      I support that.

      • Penny Dreadful Says Resist

        I’d like to.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        Hey, it’s an “open thread” if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

  • shastakoala

    Looks like Trump got one person to sign his loyalty pledge.

    • Fritz1964

      Accompanied by the additional prize of brand new knee pads…

  • Jeffocaster in the East

    WOW! What an outstanding jurist. I am impressed. The best the brightest bulbs in the drawer.

    • Oblios_Cap

      He is the epitome of a Heritage Foundation- approved lawyer!

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Federalist Society scores another victory!

      • Bebecca

        I wonder if he graduated from Jerry Falwell’s law school.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Such wow. Much amaze.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack
    • Okay, so… who are the “Disapprove” people who also find his twats “Effective and Informative”?

      • Doug Langley

        His children?

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Anomalies most likely. Stupid people gotta stup.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Turgid Love Muscle?

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          hehe!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “What was that, I missed the question, umm…effective?”

      • Three Finger Salute

        I think one of them is named John Barron.

    • shastakoala

      There’s no category for listless and resigned.

    • Three Finger Salute

      Fake news! PBS and NPR are left-wing biased media owned by left-wing socialists Charles and David Koch! Why don’t you show a real poll? The best polls, the most incredible polls come from Rasmussen and Fox! I love Poles, I love Czechs! I write checks, and I married a Chechenslovakian!

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        hehe!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Even the usually terrible white non-college people think he’s a twitter disaster. Maybe there is some way to find common ground.

      • Hell man, even among his supporters

        • The Librarian

          And fundies!

          • I could see why fundies might not like the tweeting. Plausible deniability and all, the old “Oh, he speaks rough, but….”
            But his own supporters are only +11 approving of his own tweets?

          • The Librarian

            They understand on some level that it makes him look bad.

    • armed_bears

      Under what definition of “Evangelical” does this macaroon get nearly 40%+?

      • Ricky Gay

        Assholes, ne’er-do-wells, feebs, sociopathic, racist shitbags who think they have a free pass to heaven. (AOT,K)

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Likely “Prosperity Gospel” people.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        “Moral relativists who suddenly discovered that a liar and serial adulterer was actually a fine, upstanding man of god the moment he promised to let them nominate a SC justice.”

        • Bebecca

          and that he hated gay people.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I don’t think he actually gives a damn, but he needed the votes and he knew what he had to say to get them.

          • Bebecca

            I agree with you, I think he holds no values whatsoever, love or hate or inbetween. Whatever is expedient is what he thinks at that moment.

      • marxalot

        They voted “against abortion!!!” and decided to let God be in charge of the rest. As long as he feeds their victim mentality and authority fetish, and keeps the babby-killers on the run, they’re not worried about the rest.

  • Joe Beese
    • Beowoof14

      I think I would want that one sprayed before using it again.

      • Fritz1964

        Pepper or Lysol?

        • pussygrabber in chief

          Yes.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I wasn’t gonna hold it for you anyway, so there.”

    • Three Finger Salute

      He took the “down” elevator, right?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’s like Mr Bean and some horrible creature had a babby

    • pussygrabber in chief

      I think I saw him on a rerun of Criminal Minds recently.

    • Ricky Gay

      You know he’d fart and blame you

    • Vincent Ricola

      The Overlook hotel got new elevators?

    • covfefesumgame0005

      said everyone…

    • QHarp, Mujer malévola

      ‘Are you sure? There’s room for one more…’

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Uhhh, I’ll just jump down the empty shaft.

    • Jim Johnson

      Yikes!!!
      No creepy like Cruz creepy.

  • Vagenda and Pee-ara

    If Trump had any decency, and wanted to improve his “ratings,” he should have appointed Merrick Garland, the REAL 9th SC justice.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      That would require class, instead of tacky gold trim.

      • Bananas Foster

        Have you been talking to my waxer?!

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        It kills me that this asshole COULD have been a really popular president, if he had even the slightest bit of intelligence. He could have tacked hard to the left, and his followers would be too stupid to notice, and the rest of us could have been happy. Instead, the moron decides to go full on, batshit, evangelical Christian, AND he’s hopelessly incompetent.

    • The Librarian

      “No decency, no decency, you’re indecent for even suggesting I should have decency”

    • Villago Delenda Est

      I believe the “any decency” phrase is fully covered by “facts not in evidence.”

    • Was he approved by the Heritage Foundation???? NO???

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      That would not pass the “opposite of Obama” litmus test that Il Douche applies to everything he does.

      • Vagenda and Pee-ara

        “Boo hoo, everyone is so mean to me, and attacks me personally” says the man who pushed the birther conspiracy for eight fucking years.

  • Bigby

    Imma make this clip go into a loop on youtube until June, 2054. It’s worked for Koke Pubes nigh on 26 fuckin’ years.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ZlOhSt_qW0

  • Ricky Gay

    Activist Judge!!!!1

  • Fritz1964

    Nothing new here: Gorsuch is just another charlatan propped up as an intellectual by idiots. And he done wrote a book!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I’m curious about his staff. Statements like this should never make their way into a dissenting opinion. His staff clearly are not doing their job – is he as bad at hiring as trump?…

    • pussygrabber in chief

      Maybe his staff is despondent and drunk.

    • jesterpunk

      Remember one of his rulings was overturned by SCOTUS during his conformation hearings

  • Joe Beese

    Scenes from Trump’s “no press allowed’ $35,000+ a plate fundraiser last night:

    https://twitter.com/ElizLanders/status/880426861859414016

    • TJ Barke

      Goddamn the fucking idiot…

    • Vincent Ricola

      *sniff*

    • Moebym Reborn

      There are also many ways of saying Trump, too, you know.

      Just saying.

    • This is the time where I go….
      Can anyone imagine the uproar if Obama hosted a no press allowed 35K plate fund raiser?

      • pussygrabber in chief

        Did he put dijon mustard on anything?

      • Werewolf

        At a venue that he owned himself?

        • NastyBossetti

          5 months into his term?

          • jesterpunk

            Mitch would refuse to do anything since Obama was campaigning for the next election. The right wing media would complain Obama started campaigning right away instead of worrying about important issues like the wild fires out west or shootings or anything else that is wrong.

  • Michael Smith

    Right, yeah that’s exactly what he was doing in the dissent (as to the latter point). He was saying “Maybe if the state banned straight couples from having non-biological parent listed on the birth certificate, then this wouldn’t be unconstitutional.”

    But I’d be surprised if even a very homophobic state tried that, because it would upset straight couples. However, anti-gay groups out there are probably looking into lobbying for it.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      They can’t very well say that they’re supporting heterosexual marriage then. They would be saying that it doesn’t matter if a straight couple was married or not.

      • Boojum

        The Duggars support Biblical relations. Lots of incest in the Bibble.

  • Beaufighter

    I’m glad I’m not the only one coming to the conclusion that Gorsuch is either a fucking idiot or a disingenuous bigot.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Why not both?

  • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

    Larry Klayman approves this message!

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    You remember when Barack Obama went in to hiding and just used his Twitter while championing a bill that would dramatically impact 1/6 of the economy? Remember how Obama NEVER did any interviews wherein he had to answer tough questions about the ACA? Remember when Obama refused to hold a press conference on the matter himself?

    Yeah, me either.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Remember when there was a candidate who’d already created a Universal Health Care plan thirty years ago, who understood exactly what it takes to move a health care plan forward, who spoke gladly and constantly to everyone to explain her plan, which was for the benefit of all Americans? What ever happened to that lady?

      • Shanzgood 8 Days

        *sob*

  • Pre-Truth Ron

    Is anyone else weirded out by the eyes on that AFA-approved family’s ‘book’?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      No, but I think it’s curious that they went with an interracial couple. Who are they trying to score points with?

      • NastyBossetti

        I think it’s just to make people who buy it *feel* like they’re not bigoted.

        • Boojum

          Even if they do ask that it be covered in wrapping paper, pay cash, and give their names as “Smith”.

        • pussygrabber in chief

          “Look! Daddy is black! Ignore the fact that many of the arguments we use against SSM are the same ones that were used against interracial marriage. Daddy is black!”

      • therblig

        “We’re not the intolerant left!” – xtian dbags

    • Pax Americana Per Ars Smith

      Nope, typical Christian eyes; weirdly shaped and slightly non-symmetrical.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        And Huckabeeishly close-set.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Approved by the same people who approved of Josh Duggar.

  • pgjack

    Gorsucks fits in well with the GOP and especially with the Trump gang.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      ISWYD. Very nice.

  • Jennifer R

    I should write picture books for atheist kids, to explain about the crazy that all their friends are nfected with.

    • marxalot

      Read some of Christopher Stroop’s stuff, you’ll have enough material for a series, plus a couple for evangelical kids on how to get out of their abusive homes…

    • javadavis

      Do it! Do it! It’s the sort of thing that is sorely needed. The ‘atheist kids’ that are your target audience are a minuscule percentage of the kids that could benefit. And some might get left around radical fundamentalist churches, anonymously, in case some of the cultists might see a path to escape. Have you thought about a kickstarter for it?

  • Mavenmaven

    GOP stands for Grumpy Old Prevaricators.

  • Mormos

    can you impeach a justice?

    oh yeah, you totally can…

    • Jennifer R

      Yes.

    • Lefty Wright

      I fondly remember billboards in the south in my younger days proclaiming “Impeach Earl Warren”. Along with “This Is KKK Country”.

      • Mr Ephemeris

        I remember the first in Michigan.

  • alpacapunchbowl

    It’s almost like he has an agenda and is willing to bend over backwards to “justify” it. Typical originalist Scalia-lite bullshit.

  • Neil Gorsuch is so dumb…

    How dumb is Neil Gorsuch?

    Neil Gorsuch is sooooooooooo dumb, he should be preemptively arrested for stealing gas out of a cop car.
    http://thefw.com/files/2012/04/Man-Arrested-for-Stealing-Gas-from-Cop-Car.jpg

    Just in case.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Gorsucks was bought and paid for by a conservative group. He’s on the bench to do their bidding.

  • Bebecca

    So…listening to my Sirius Leftwing radio on the way home from work the other day, a lawyer was discussing Gorsuch. He said he thought he was more conservative than Scalia (how could that even be?), that Scalia paid close attention to precedent while Gorsuch just makes shit up (my interpretation of what he said) based on his own feelings. We are doomed. If Trump doesn’t kill us, the Supreme Court will.

    • OrdinaryJoe

      The under the radar rap on Gorsuxs when he was on the 10th Cir., was that his clerks knew the outcome he wanted and they were supposed to find cases or twist case law to fit the result.

      • Bebecca

        some might call that legislating from the bench. Which the republicans do when it’s a decision they disagree with.

        • sgt. jmk of the résistance

          IOKIYAR times a bajillion.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    Putting this up in its entirety for those who cannot read WAPO right now. Yes, this is OT, but yes, this is important. Emphasis are mine.

    Why are these tweets different from any other?

    Jennifer Rubin (conservative)

    By now most plugged-in news watchers know that with his health-care bill going down in flames, the North Korea crisis percolating, a special prosecutor investigating both the Trump campaign’s possible collusion with Russia and President Trump’s own very public attempts to obstruct the investigation, Trump chooses to tweet two obnoxious, gross and misogynistic tweets in retort to criticism from “Morning Joe’s” two anchors. You can care to read them if you like; we find it unnecessary to amplify them further.(burn! A statement by the president is too crass for her to report) His spokeswoman Sarah Huckabee Sanders, asked about the tweets on the administration’s state TV, Fox News (Second time someone has publicly called it that. Lets hope it sticks), blithely declared that he “will not be allowed to be bullied by liberal media or liberal elites in Hollywood or anywhere else.” The president is once again a victim of bullying, the poor dear. For the umpteenth time, we are obliged to ask what this suggests and whether it matters.

    This time, maybe wearied from the routine and quite certain the president’s popularity is sinking like a stone, notable Republicans told him to clam up. Sen. Ben Sasse (Neb.) tweeted: “Please just stop. This isn’t normal and it’s beneath the dignity of your office.” Sen. Lindsey O. Graham (S.C.) expressed a similar sentiment: “Mr. President, your tweet was beneath the office and represents what is wrong with American politics, not the greatness of America.” And Sen. Susan Collins (Maine), whose vote Trump needs to pass a health-care bill, responded, “This has to stop – we all have a job – 3 branches of gov’t and media. We don’t have to get along, but we must show respect and civility.” Several Republican House members chimed in as well. So far no word from GOP leadership, which was pleading for more civility in the wake of the
    horrific shooting of GOP House members at a baseball field
    (so much for that call for civility nonsense, huh?).

    President Trump’s latest outbursts are not part of a brilliant strategy. He gains nothing, at a time when his grasp of his job is openly questioned. He gains no allies in the health-care debate. He reminds the country that Republicans who chose to ignore or rationalize this kind of behavior will go down as moral quislings. He reminds us that the conservative evangelicals who embraced him are not exemplars of moral or religious behavior. They are apologists and tribalists who rejoice in his exacting
    revenge on “elites.”
    No upside comes from this behavior; it’s the reaction of a man-child who cannot contain his belligerence.

    As for Sanders, she joins the legions of those who will do anything, defend anything, justify anything for their moments(s) in the White House. Patriotism, decency, honor? These have no place in their calculus. We need shed no tears when they are humiliated, undercut and eventually fired by their boss. They’ve made their pact with the devil and deserve no sympathy. (boom!)

    If these tweets fortify his base, that speaks volumes about those who would be buoyed by such conduct. But that’s an exercise in diminishing returns. He is shedding support from those who see him for what he is and retain reason and decency in their political judgments.

    Does this indicate his mental unfitness to serve? Yes, but there have been
    dozens of signals he is, as Sasse put it, “not normal.”
    (Nothing to add)

    What is to be done? We’d applaud if Republican leaders rebuked him in some formal way (a resolution perhaps). But don’t hold your breath. Opponents of the president and defenders of democratic norms and simple decency should fortify themselves and redouble their efforts. They’ve been reminded who is in the Oval Office and the damage he does to our society on a daily basis.

    https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/right-turn/wp/2017/06/29/why-are-these-tweets-different-from-any-other/?hpid=hp_no-name_opinion-card-d%3Ahomepage%2Fstory

    • Bebecca

      All the Trump minions better hope that Faux News and Breitbart have lots of openings because those are the only groups that would hire people with reputations tarnished by working for this president.

      • javadavis

        There is still Barbwire and WND.

      • Lulu’s Mom

        Uhh, CNN & MSNBC would snap them right up.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Not dumb. Totally evil and dishonest. Lied like a common trump at his confirmation hearings. Has spent a career on the bench as an intellectual fraud. The only court on which he should be sitting would be the Holy Office of the Inquisition.

    • marxalot

      Nah, the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has standards. You may not like their history, charge, or actions, but they are at least internally consistent.

      • OrdinaryJoe

        Their standards are all fucked up but at least they let you know why you will be burned at the stake?

        • marxalot

          Or placed under house arrest, or locked in a cage hanging from the church steeple, or paraded through the town square wearing a smock designated for heretics, yes. There’s a certain comfort in knowing that the people who’ve swept into your town, arrested your priest, and mandated punitive re-education are at least applying the same transparent standards in every village. It might be nice if you could read so you knew what those standards were, but they’re consistent, and that’s the important thing.

          • OrdinaryJoe

            Good times. LOL

          • marxalot

            Things were better when there was more smiting.

    • pstockholm

      That would be … unexpected.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    wow. EVERY BODY associated with Trump is either involved with the russians, dumb as hell, or evil.

    • borninatrailer

      …..or?

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Involved with the russians, and/or dumb as hell, and/or evil.

      • javadavis

        … or all of the above.

  • SadDemInTex

    What a sickening piece of work. That said SCOTUS has been, historically, very conservative. The court of Warren and Burger are outliers in their decisions and balance of the court. And many decisions have no teeth unless they are enforced. The school desegregation decision was passed in the early 50’s . It took the 1960s Congress to make it happen by saying they would give no money to school systems that kept segregation. It was $$$$$ that finally made it happen. And while you may think that Citizens United changed the landscape it merely acquiesced to $$$$$$$$$$ and the kleptocracy that has it.

    • HazooToo

      Even the 1960s Congress seems to not have done a perfect job of it, since segregation has apparently been existing since then. Just never really widely known about. Sometimes my country makes me feel entirely too trusting and stupid.

      • SadDemInTex

        Because the idea of desegragation was never going to achieve the reconciliation and understanding that this country has to face about slavery. This is why the traitor flag is allowed to be flown. This why open racism and hatred is widespread and (not just in the South but every damn place) is easily apparent. Both Germany and South Africa faced the horrors of their past head on and they are the better for it. Are they perfect? Of course not but facing the past past, recognizing the evil with understanding, and educating your populace with the truth is the only way to a healthier future.

  • OrdinaryJoe

    Sorry. I’m feeling all facepunchy today. That book cover really made me pissed off.

  • SayItWithWookies

    How can a person who Republicans say is so smart not even manage to get the central fact of the entire case wrong? Gorsuch is saying that the Pavan’s were suing to get Mom #2’s name off the birth certificate? The man might be even dumber than Mike Flynn, who shouldn’t even be allowed to drive.

    • Randy Riddle

      Remember, facts don’t matter in the new upside-down world of Trumpland.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      The state eventually changed the birth certificate, which is the kernel of truth that Gorsuch exploited to argue … whatever he was arguing.

  • Doug Erickson

    if they’re talking biology, there’s a world of cultural difference between a “father” and a “sperm donor”. jesus.

  • aureolaborealis

    I once had a trumpet teacher who also happened to be a minister tell me that “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve!” I said, “So who made Steve, then?” And he said, and I shit you not, “Good point.”

  • catnmus

    He is not the sharpest tool in the chandelier.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    Oh, lookee. 50 years ago that adorable family on the cover would have been an abomination before the lord too.

    Motherfuckrers literally believe we have no idea how to find the history section in the library if there were arrows painted on the fucking floor.

    • Manders

      Seriously. That cover made me see red. The subtitle might as well say, “. . . but God is cool with interracial couples now.”

  • beingreleased

    I’m going revisit my The Wonkette Non-Comments Greatest Hits:

    When will you people understand. The only legitimate functions of government are the military and banning icky things.

  • Shanzgood 8 Days

    The biological justification is BS. Adoptive parents get their names on birth certificates all the time. My own was changed when I was adopted.

    • OutOfOrbit

      Then it’s true: you ARE a alien!

      • Shanzgood 8 Days

        Shhhhh…don’t tell.

        • OutOfOrbit

          Right, mum’s the word.

          • Shanzgood 8 Days

            When they don’t know I’m an alien, they’re a lot more enthusiastic about the probing.

          • OutOfOrbit

            So you do like being enthusiasticly probed! I thought so, I just wasn’t sure. I will consider this in my bunk.

          • puredog

            ISWYDT

    • Kooolest G

      my wife’s name and my name are on our son’s california birth certificate, but it says his place of birth is Taiwan, the “honorable” justice Gorsuch is gonna have a hell of a time finding the “sperm donor” in taiwan who’s name is only known to his birth mother. I guess we should start DNA testing the whole island

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    OK, I think I see the problem here. I believe the problem stems from the fact that people have just not come to grips with the new reality in this country. See, facts? What are they? Education? Is that really all that important? Being qualified for a job? That’s for other people, but really, is it that important? Sit back and have a nice cool case of whiskey, and I am sure that this will all begin to make sense to you….eventually.

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    I guess in the question, “Is Gorsuch dumb or evil?” we can definitively answer “Yes.”

  • Lance Thrustwell

    Know what I’m sick of? Habitually referring to pro-oligarchy, pro-dominant-religion, anti-environmental apparatchiks and demagogues as “conservative.” They aren’t “conserving” shit! They’re changing the country. For the worse.

    • OutOfOrbit

      They gave “conservative” a whole new meaning years ago.Now that word means: All for one(%) and one(%) gets all.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      Amen

    • Kip TW

      “Conservative” ain’t nothin’ but “Confederate” misspelled.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    God Made Dad & Mom DO WHAT?!?!

    • therblig

      something involving bathing suit areas. but for jesus!!

  • Can a supreme court justice be recalled/impeached for improper applications of law?

    • OutOfOrbit

      I donut know what it’s called but they can be shit-canned.

    • pstockholm

      Something like an assembly of all lower court justices would be good maybe? Two-thirds majority I guess. It will still be difficult and probably should be. But now, there’s no option at all for recall/impeach, or?

    • I looked it up, they can be impeached (like a common president) for misconduct. I am not sure if that includes misreading of the law or lying in a decision. However, the first article google sent me to was from fox news, so I went to another source right away to check if they had it correct. How freakin’ sad is it that I feel the need to fact check a national news organization about facts and not just opinions.

      • kareemachan

        They aren’t a news organization. They are for entertainment. They said so themselves.

  • The state claimed it had an interest in recording the children’s “biological parentage,”

    That’s got to be confusing for all the adopted kids who have complete strangers listed as their parents.

    • javadavis

      If Gurush and the state are that freaking worried about (even more!) inbreeding, why don’t they just require a DNA test for couples applying for a marriage license? I don’t really that all dads who are raising children who were created with another’s sperm are aware of that, either, so multiple issues covered with one swipe! Yay, efficient use of funds! Of course, biological parentage isn’t Really what he is concerned about, is it?

      • Kooolest G

        be careful, next trump supreme court nominee will be maury povich

  • weejee

    Does inJustice Gorsucks want to know what he can do with his freakin’ take on █████? █████ weeps.

  • Zyxomma

    Just as I knew when he was confirmed, Gorsuch is a fraud. What else would we expect from a fraudster like Trump?

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    gosh, who could have predicted that.

    • kareemachan

      I’m shocked. Shocked, I say.

  • natoslug

    God made Dad and Mom. But their kid is of the debbil. And nobody made any pancakes. I WANT SOME FUCKING PANCAKES!!!111!!!! NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Neil Gorsuch wanted to be on the Court mainly because it gives him such a choice opportunity to get back at the mean liberals who hurt his ma’s fee-fees back in the day when she mangled the EPA on behalf of the conservative cause, and got caught at it. It’s a deep, ugly grudge, and he’s locked into a weirdly Freudian revenge cycle.

    Philip Anschutz (Neil’s particular billionaire owner–they’re all owned by one or another of the dark money boys) wanted him on the Court because in the process of getting his own back against the liberals, Neil can be counted on to uphold every demented reactionary scheme that comes down the pike, o legislate-from-the-bench (as the righties call it) against regulations, unions, clean air mandates, civil rights, human rights, taxes on wealth, etc.

    Bingo, a twofer.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      And he’s there for life.

  • NotALiar

    Dont blame me, I voted for a Green New Deal.

  • Bitter Scribe

    Wait what? That American Family Assn. thing features an INTERRACIAL COUPLE???? How did they get away with THAT?

  • Celtic_Gnome

    Bernie Bros. and Jill Steiners, you got what you wanted, a Supreme Court that will remain fucked up when your children are adults.

    • uniquename72

      Hillary supporters, you got what you wanted: A Cheeto for a president, health care in danger, AND the loss of a Supreme Court seat.

      Admit it: Voting for the candidate who polled better against ALL Republicans in the primaries was infinitely more logical than voting for the shifting sands that was Hillary Clinton. Hell, she couldn’t even bring herself to support gay marriage until 2013.

      But by all means, go ahead and run another entrenched, establishment candidate in 2020, particularly one who appears to have no moral compass or guiding principles to speak of – that worked so well in 2016!

      • eastcoastlib

        This why we don’t allow comments here.

        • Smibo

          That’s a GOOD thing.

      • Kip TW

        And the GOP would absolutely have laid off Bernie’s private life, party affiliation, and past votes! We just KNOW it!

      • Smibo

        Phone call for Claire? Claire McCaskill? It’s the 2019 DNC, wanting to know what fucking hill you’d be willing to die on. None? Well okay then, you’re our gal…

  • cats530

    So sick of pious Christofrauds.

  • Spurning Beer

    I’m going to swim against the current and predict that Gorsuch will eventually take a turn toward the middle. He doesn’t seem to be a person who cherishes being a goad to liberals like Scalia, or enjoys being hated like Thomas. Maybe it will take 20 years, but I suspect he wants to be respected.

    • eastcoastlib

      He’s a hardcore Bible humping right wing crusader. Don’t let the pretty face fool you

    • dshwa

      I can see Roberts doing that. Gorsuch, not so much.

  • Cornelius Fussbudget

    This comment on that article (from user Jack Paper) seems like it might be correct. I haven’t had time to read the whole opinion, and I probably couldn’t figure it out even if I did. Can anyone explain if/how it’s wrong? Btw, MJS is the author of the piece.

    “MJS’s terrible analysis (and that’s fair, since his claim that Gorsuch lied is 100% wrong) stems from either not understanding or hiding what happened in this case.

    There are two relevant statutes at issue. 20-18-401 (sets the basic rules for b.c.) and 9-10-201 (creates an exception to the basic rules for artificial insemination). Both are gender specific. The Plaintiffs conceived through artificial insemination. Arkansas refused to list both mothers on the birth certificate. Plaintiffs sued, claiming that 20-18-401 was unconstitutional. Plaintiffs did not challenged 9-10-201. Though it initially refused to list both parents on the license, Arkansas conceded in oral argument before the Arkansas Supreme Court that Obergerfell required it to do so under 9-10-201 and suggested the Arkansas Supreme Court order that 9-10-201 had to be read to be gender neutral. Arkansas Supreme Court refused to do so because the issue wasn’t raised in the trial court and therefore wasn’t appropriate for appeal (because Plaintiffs did not challenge that statute).

    THAT is what Gorsuch is referring to about the State conceding. It is 100% true.

    MJS should be embarrassed about his call to SCOTUS.”

  • ken_kukec

    Actually, the “ass-backwards” position is legal in Arkansas, so long it’s done with the lights off and for procreative purposes, between relatives within three degrees of consanguinity.

  • ken_kukec

    “the basic dispute at the heart of the case” — aka the case’s “gravamen”; I’m guessing in Arkansas they don’t do cases involving only grava-ladies.

  • puredog

    In light of the factual error you pointed out, he obviously does NOT know “exactly what he is doing.” But he’s still dangerous, I’ll grant you, if only because he is (a) an utter tool, with (b) one vote of nine on the SC.

  • dshwa

    Who wrote the decision? Because I can’t imagine RBG missing the chance to point it the errors in the dissent when they’re that glaring.

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