39
40

Autistic kids and physical sensitivity (self.GenderCritical)

secondtidalwave2 が 投稿

This is a very important thing. Here was a mother touting her 'brave 'transgirl' kid on some talk show and saying how 'she' came out in hives if placed in male clothes and would tear them off so clearly a girl.

No. Much more likely, autistic. Its not really appreciated just how physically sensitive autistic people are. Its the difference between water being bracing cold and it giving you hypothermia. The brain is wired in a loop, instead of a pathway.

So, take a boy child, place him with boys, rough-and-tumble play ensues, and he gets bumped and banged. to the others, that's nothing, and each bump toughens them rapidly, but to him, its terribly painful.

He fears the pain. so next time you put him in boy clothes, his super-sensitive body feels the texture and the brain responds, and instantly, that brain creates a physical reaction, like hives, plus an emotional reaction, like tearing them off.

He will have already either observed or played with girls and their softer clothes wont elicit the same response, if he associates them with gentler play. Even very active girls dont push and shove as hard as boys simply because they aren't as strong, not to mention, his society will also influence this. If the girls he associates with are taught to be quieter...especially if there are the religious gender roles, that will be a factor as well.

But he hasnt the vocabulary or experience to express this. all he can say is "No! Girl, girl!"

I hate to say it, but I think some of those mothers wouldnt be happy to hear this. Some of them, they like the fame, or why are they promoting their kid? They want in on it all. How many of those mothers gave up their careers, I wonder and are pouring their intelligence into their child instead of their own lives?

全 21 件のコメント
並べ替え:
ベスト
トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]contecorsair 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (10子コメント)

It wasn't until I was an adult that I could tolerate wearing my socks right-side out or tolerate the rough texture of jeans against my skin. I remember the seam of my socks being unbearably painful as a kid, like a hot piece of metal. But at the same time, I have a "high pain tolerance" for things that should hurt, I don't feel any pain. Like the time my arm got cut open and there was a trail of blood on the floor, and down the left side of my clothes and I never felt a thing, or some things feel good like being crushed or tightly squeezed. My brother has similar sensory processing oddities and we had to keep him out of kindergarten for an extra year because he would tear off any clothes. Eventually we found he would only wear silky Hawaiian shirts or flowy clothing. It was 100% about the texture and had nothing to do with fashion.

[–]dotinaline 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I also had big issues with tags, but also lace, frills, tights, etc. I definitely think it was related to my rejection of "girl clothes" and girliness. I resented being subjected to constrictive discomfort for the purposes of looking cute for others, and tied it deeply with being a girl.

I suspect a LOT of kids with sensory issues end up thinking they're not their birth sex, or finding stereotypes with their birth sex horrible, because of sensory experiences. At least with girls and girl clothes, because they're really uncomfortable! (At least the dressier stuff is... weird that that was apparently enough to set me off, but I think unless I was dressed-up I mostly wore comfy, androgynous hand-me-downs).

I am somewhat surprised, though, by the notion that girly clothes would be more acceptable to a sensitive child. Maybe this kid's mom is only buying super comfy, cotton girl's clothes and it's working out better because if they aren't dressy/frilly, loose-fitting cotton frocks would be comfortable relative to boy's clothes simply because there's nothing tight around the legs...

[–]imissbreakingbad 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yeah, I'm autistic and one of the reason I wear "men's clothes" (as in, wide t-shirts) is because of sensory issues.

I used to think tight clothing made for women made me dysphoric because the general consensus was that "dysphoria = physical discomfort", when in reality, it was the autism that made certain clothes uncomfortable to wear.

[–]falsefawn 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yup. I never, ever wear jeans because I basically feel trapped and start having a panic attack. Bras are also a nightmare, so I only wear ultra soft sports bras or try wear drapey, flowy tops/dresses so I can go without a bra.

Actually, pants of all kinds drive me absolutely insane. All my clothing is as close to being a soft blanket that it possibly can be. Long, loose robes/dresses, shawls, soft flowing skirts, etc.

I look like a stereotypical hippy.

[–]Mortongransname 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because, unlike sexes, it's a spectrum - I'm fine with tightness, and rough heavy fabric. It's soothing. It's shiny, slippy fabric and fiddly cold jewels that set me on edge like slimey water torture. Touching stranger's hair's like touching livewire.

Obviously, this will impede on the things you are "meant to do" as a little girl.

I'd also bite people who'd try to put me in dresses. Dresses meant tripping and maybe seeing my own blood, which terrified me.

[–]hamsterfamily 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It would be interesting to have a study done on the clothing choices of transchildren and their parents choices. I'm wondering if the little girls who identify as boys tended to have been offered the frillier girls clothing - the girly-girl stuff - with uncomfortable sequences, poorly added trims, etc. My daughter has some clothes I'm amazed she tolerates wearing because it looks uncomfortable and itchy to me but she loves it because its stereotypical girly-girl stuff.

However a little boy identifying as a girl might be offered the more comfortable girls clothing, with lighter flowing loose material.

Clothing choices are so highly personal. My daughter can't tolerate what she calls "floppy pants." She'll wear dresses or skin-tight leggings, but no jeans, sweatpants, or slacks. Her brothers wear sweatpants and no jeans or leggings. We've found what works for each of them.

[–]spes-phthisica 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

omg, I HATED wearing tights as a kid. it felt like the most nasty, restrictive thing ever. dreaded special occasions and how in the winter my mom would make me wear them under my pants so i would be warmer. never thought about it in terms of textural sensitivity and gender roles.

[–]secondtidalwave2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Yes, that is an interesting point, but its not really the point I am making. What I am saying, is that its not the clothes that are uncomfortable, but the activity associated with the clothes.

I am saying, that the texture informs the child, not 'discomfort now" but "pain will be coming when I am forced to play in these clothes". And that autistic kids may even break out in a rash or hives through the fear. Hence the tearing off.

When I was a kid, my father was not gentle in teaching me how to swim. He didnt believe in armbands. He'd hold me, always out of my depth, across his arms and say 'make the swimming motions" and let go. I'd sink like a stone. So it wasnt long before the sight of a the swimming costume was enough to create terror. Rapid response to texture is an expression of the autistic brain. Its a similar thing, just faster, and the kid cannot explain it. Now, parents conclude: trans.

Clothes being torn off for actual discomfort is a different issue. Also, though, an important one. And one I didnt think of: that an autistic girl might rip off frills due to scratching. And demand boys clothes. So, thanks, yes, it adds to the argument!

[–]dotinaline 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is an interesting and complex layer to this issue. I really appreciate your insights; immediate dis/comfort isn't the entire story, here.

[–]crlodyTHE MENSTRUATOR 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Being crushed or squeezed feeling good is a common thing - for postpartum women they call it "setting the bones" where you get wrapped up in a cloth and squeezed and it's supposed to feel really good - for people with autism they have weighted vests that are supposed to be calming. When I worked the adults with disabilities the mother of a very tall man with autism said she would sit on him as a child to help him calm down but that he was too big for that as an adult so she told us to stand behind him and press down on his shoulders really hard.

[–]lefterfield 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (2子コメント)

saying how 'she' came out in hives if placed in male clothes

Literally broke out in hives? I'm not familiar with this story, but couldn't that be an issue with the detergent or fabric allergies?

[–]secondtidalwave2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It wasnt how the mother put it. She attributed it to his panic at having his 'real gender' denied. And yes, she said hives...I cant find it again, sorry. I remember distinctly, though, because its what made me think, autism.

[–]lefterfield 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That seems odd. It certainly wouldn't make me think transgender... you're right it could be autism, I just figure it's best to start with the easiest solutions first.

[–]circle_unbroken 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Growing up as an autistic kid I wore boy's clothes almost exclusively because I could not stand how tight and thin girl's clothes were (still can't tbh). I threw fits over my school uniform knee socks until I was about 13. It kills me that this and so many other common autistic traits are interpreted as gender dysphoria, especially because in my case it was the exact opposite. I hated that I had to wear boy's clothes or when people, adults mostly, assumed I wanted to be treated like the boys in my class because of the way I dressed. I just wanted there to be comfortable girl's clothes! Of course now, as an adult, I realize that the fact that children's clothes are gendered at all is ludicrous.

Though I do think this wrong interpretation of autism symptoms is a major reason why the percentage of transgender identified individuals in the autistic community is so high, especially when parents are making these decisions for their children who may not have the ability to articulate their feelings cogently or advocate for themselves.

[–]olivesareprettygreat 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hate that about girls clothes too! And the fact that womens clothes are always smaller/more revealing than mens. If I were to go looking for a completely ordinary white t-shirt, I bet that the sleeves on all the womens ones I find will be shorter. I deeply dislike the idea that women have to show more skin, especially when it comes to fancy clothes (compare what women vs men wear to the oscars for example).

I was watching some youtube the other day and came across this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDZXA6IWkIo and I wish that was acceptable attire for all the weddings and baptisms I have to attend this summer :D

[–]RipleyRiot 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'll try to find the actual statistics later and edit it in this comment but if I remember correctly there's a rather high rate of autistic girls being "diagnosed" as trans too

I never thought of the physical aspect of it and it's very interesting, my SO is somewhere on the autistic spectrum and he won't wear pants, only shorts because the feel of fabric on his knees makes him very uncomfortable... I never associated this to autism but it does make sense since their ways of processing senses and feelings

It is incredibly depressing how these kids are made to be trans and are made to be in a spotlight by adults who just can't accept non conforming people..

[–]neuroticoctopus 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's a much higher rate of all trans people having an autism diagnosis. People with autism also tend to not conform to societal standards as much. You don't care that much about responding to social cues when you don't pick up on them as well.

[–]secondtidalwave2[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I read where the normally developing male brain and the autistic female appear the same.

[–]RipleyRiot 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yes and this was used so many times to back up the idea that trans people have the wrong "female/male brain"

[–]womenhaveovaries 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I hate to say it, but I think some of those mothers wouldnt be happy to hear this. Some of them, they like the fame, or why are they promoting their kid? They want in on it all. How many of those mothers gave up their careers, I wonder and are pouring their intelligence into their child instead of their own lives?

I am constantly reminded of the Down Syndrome "community" -- the people who hang out in the special needs "community" and get their identity from that. The mothers are TOXIC, whoa. Not all of them of course, but much higher rates of batshit than what you'd find in the general population.

The need to be special, the need to seen as the ultra sacrificial goat going all out for her special needs child, which of course makes her a better mother than all of the mothers of any other group combined. The need for YOU to send her accolades on a regular basis and the resentment when you fail to feed her ego. Yep, sounds familiar.

I wish there was an easy way to identify these women before they became parents so they could get some help before they damage their kids. They're really into traditional gender roles, particularly being the ultimate sacrificial goat "for the benefit of their children" and encouraging their daughters into the same mindset. Meanwhile, they want their sons to be hyper masculine arrogant shitheads and all of this is "normal" to them. It's not just men who reinforce sexism and patriarchy...

[–]TheWanderingTalker 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would recommend the Nat Geo clip with Joey the Autist, supposing it is findable.