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/r/gentlemanboners is really creepy (self.Negareddit)

alawa が 投稿

I can't put my finger on why, but something seems off about it. Maybe the idea that sexualizing nonsexual photos is "gentlemanly" or just the name of the subreddit

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[–]ThatQuietSeriousGuy 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (6子コメント)

I got curious about it so I investigated a little. LadyBoners was created on January 30th 2011. GentlemanBoners was created later, on April 3rd 2011. Maybe one name is based on the other.

[–]FixinThePlanetdoin a addicsun AMA 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That's what I thought too! Hah

[–]alawa[S] 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Yeah, that's true. Although I think there is a difference in that ladyboners is kinda a jokey name, whereas gentleman boners just sounds creepy.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Even if the latter is a play on the former?

[–]afinesocia1ife 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Kind of like how r/earthporn became a whole network of sfw-porn subs, including r/humanporn. Which sounds weird unless you know the entire backstory of its name as well as reddit "culture" (ugh). Reddit is derivative. There are few original things on this website. Any that are become quickly adopted and endlessly repeated, until they are just as trite as the rest of the site.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's the biggest downside of the upvote/downvote system.

[–]afinesocia1ife 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yep, I totally agree with that. +1

:)

[–]thirteensigmapi 68 ポイント69 ポイント  (11子コメント)

I think the implication that to be a "gentleman" is to be attracted to wealthy, thin, white women is pretty insidious

[–]someguywithanaccount 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I think it's this combined with another comment in this thread. Somehow getting off to this ridiculous notion of what a woman "should" be makes you classier than getting off to naked people.

First, why are you so uncomfortable with admitting you like attractive naked people? Second, why is your view of a "proper" woman so specific and homogenous?

That said, I personally enjoy some of the pictures posted there (okay, a lot, those women are beautiful). But the concept and name of the sub make me feel weird enough I don't visit it.

[–][deleted] 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

/u/Br00ce nuke this sub

[–]fishareavegetable 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thank you, it's( both subs) also assuming that there are no same-sex attracted people.

[–]cllegionanarcho-farrier 90 ポイント91 ポイント  (44子コメント)

Its porn for neckbeards who've decided they are above porn.

[–]alawa[S] 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (42子コメント)

In a weird way watching porn seems more normal. Like getting a boner from porn is a normal response; getting a boner from a woman just existing is weird. It's like women can't even wear a nice dress without this bullshit.

[–]someguywithanaccount 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Ehhh, I've always found the sub a little weird too, but I'm not sure I agree with your logic. Plenty of women like looking at pictures of hot actors and find them arousing. In fact I'd say my female friends enjoy non-nude photographs more than my male friends (based of a small sample size). That doesn't seem inherently creepy.

[–]alawa[S] 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's fair. I think the creepyness for me mostly comes from the name.

[–]someguywithanaccount 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Agreed. I posted something to that effect elsewhere in this thread.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Dude can't control whether or not he gets an erection. He can control how he reacts to the situation.

[–]MurderMelon 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

This is some Confucius shit...

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stoicism, actually. Shit saved my life.

[–]AlwaysTryAgain 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (13子コメント)

I think it's the belief that it's somehow more classy to drool over nonsexualized photos.

It's like when someone says "I will not rape you if you fall unconscious" at a party as if it is a highlight point and not a default presumption of common decency.

[–]buriedinthyeyes 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (12子コメント)

belief that it's somehow more classy

Of course. Because there's nothing classier than jerking off to women who didn't consent to it.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (11子コメント)

Wait you have to get consent to jerk it to a woman now? That's ridiculous. Privacy of your own home, jerk it to whoever you want.

[–]fishareavegetable 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

jerk it to whoever you want

Outside of non-consenting people, yes.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

What the fuck are they gonna do, charge you with rape? You're a fucking caricature if you think you need consent to jerk off to someone.

[–]fishareavegetable 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I just think it's disrespectful, I've never done it to an image. To an idea or fantasy? Yes. I don't want to get into the habit of doing that shit.

[–]aleksndrars 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Yeah, its creepy to masturbate to peoples non sexual photos

[–]Isolatedwoods19 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What if you're picturing them in your head or fantasizing? Because everyone does that and it isn't much different, our brains are very capable of creating complex pictures.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Agreed. But it's ridiculous to expect people to ask permission or just stop, are you serious?

[–]aleksndrars 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Not really? I would block any one so fast if i found out they did that to me

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I don't blame you, but that's about all you can do.

[–][deleted] 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

What is this apologetic shit? that guy is insane, to think that is immoral to jerk off to someones picture without their consent is insane. Dont pussyfoot around man.

[–]throwaway03022017SAXOPHONE! 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I know, dude.

[–][deleted] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I know mate

It just kind of bothers me to see people pussyfoot around their real opinion :P

[–]FixinThePlanetdoin a addicsun AMA 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I thought it was the flip of ladyboners

[–]MurderMelon 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I think everybody in this thread is reading WAYYY too far into it. "Gentlemanly" doesn't mean wealthy/white/thin and i definitely don't think the people who frequent the sub (I am one of them) think themselves to be any better than any other porn-watcher.

The whole idea is that women in nice dresses and classy settings are attractive. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Different people get their rocks off with different visual stimuli and it's kinda fucked up to say that people are lesser or creepy just because they like looking at women in classy attire.

[edit] Yeah, I mean, I guess the name is kinda cringey and stupid. But other than that, this post/discussion makes no sense.

[–]afinesocia1ife 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (0子コメント)

With you 100%. As god-awful as reddit can be, it's just a derivative of something slightly more clever, but with no regard for context or the thing that made the original basis endearing in the first place.

It's based on r/LadyBoners, which tended to post pictures of clothed but attractive men. A gentleman tends to be the male counterpart to a lady, except gentlemen actually tend to have penises, so the joke about ladies getting metaphorical boners falls totally flat. Because redditors are notoriously inept at discerning what is socially appropriate (or think the "culture" makes them part of a secret club, so let what would otherwise be unacceptable things slide).

It is far less insidious than people here want to frame it. It had nothing to do originally with the posters feeling like gentlemen, or even getting boners. It was just a place to post attractive women.

Of course that mutated and attracted a weird kind of community after a while, but most people are fucking weird, and anonymity brings out the worst in what we would otherwise consider decent people. Reddit does less than most sites to deal with these things when they crop up, so it also serves as a feedback loop that normalizes this deviant behavior.

[–]theonlyjh 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I don't see how a group of people congregating online to discuss finding famous celebrities attractive is somehow excessively creepy.

Virtually everyone does it in real life men AND women. It's not even like they are super gross about it most of the time. Sure the name is crude but it's a non-issue really.

[–]Isolatedwoods19 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And it was created in response to r/ladyboners, which is a bit cringy itself but whatever.

[–]StumbleOna better one that isn't lame 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Assuming you aren't a troll:

It's the lie of it. It's an objectification sub, sure. That's fine there are plenty. But this one in particular uses language that pretends it isn't. It gives off the Nice Guy vibe. There is a veneer of politness about their language masking the vulgarity beneath. It doesn't matter that they pretend to be a little bit higher class. At least when guys are screaming SHOW US YOUR TITS they are being honest about it. The gaze still exists.

[–][deleted] 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (4子コメント)

When you are really chill read what you wrote again, because this is just pants-on-head stupid man

But this one in particular uses language that pretends it isn't. It gives off the Nice Guy vibe.

I am not even going to say anything about this

There is a veneer of politness about their language masking the vulgarity beneath.

What is exactly the problem with vulgarity? the play on words of the sub is not looking down on other kinds of porns or sexuality that they perceive to be lower class, is just a specific kind of sexuality that gets them off. The only one with a ridiculous elitist vibe here is you

[–]StumbleOna better one that isn't lame 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

the play on words of the sub is not looking down on other kinds of porns or sexuality that they perceive to be lower class, is just a specific kind of sexuality that gets them off.

This phrase sticks out from the rest because it's so very out of place. It doesn't address what I said. It doesn't respond to it. So what was the point of saying it?

The only one with a ridiculous elitist vibe here is you

Ah.

So you can't respond to what I said, so you just make up stuff and get offended at it.

Is that also "pants on head stupid?"

I bet it is.

[–][deleted] 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

It's an objectification sub, sure. That's fine

ok

But this one in particular uses language that pretends it isn't.

What I said is completely relevant, but you are being obtuse on purpose.

The "gentleman" part of it is not trying to hide the fact that they are jerking off to those pictures.

There is nothing to hide, because there is nothing wrong. Why would they try to hide it? why would they feel ashamed by it? there is nothing at all to feel shame for. The point of the sub is that they find hot how elegant some of those women are. Some people find hotter someone who is actually clothed than naked. They are not pretending they are " higher class ", and they dont look down on the " lower class ", that is a fantasy of yours because you are the one ranking behaviour and judging a type of sexuality to be " lower " or " less civilzed " than other.

However you were judgemental enough to think that they were trying to hide something, but that is stupid, because outside of this sub no one thinks there is anything immoral or shameful about jerking off to sexualized pictures/porn.

Screaming " show us your tits " is wrong not because is vulgar, but because it hurts someone, while clearly that sub doesnt.

[–]StumbleOna better one that isn't lame 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

What I said is completely relevant, but you are being obtuse on purpose.

Or, you parse words in strange ways to put words in my mouth and then argue them. That's called a strawman, and they are common on reddit. Feel free to actually respond to something I have said.

The "gentleman" part of it is not trying to hide the fact that they are jerking off to those pictures.

Great. I never said otherwise.

There is nothing to hide, because there is nothing wrong. Why would they try to hide it? why would they feel ashamed by it? there is nothing at all to feel shame for. The point of the sub is that they find hot how elegant some of those women are.

And this is where the creep factor comes in. They degrade women in the same way, they just mask it with different words. It's objectification repackaged in a manner to make them feel they are doing something different.

Do you know why people, often women, frequently joke about "nice guys?" It's because they do this shit. They don't say what they mean, not directly. It's all off kilter and fake.

They are not pretending they are " higher class ", and they dont look down on the " lower class ", that is a fantasy of yours because you are the one ranking behaviour and judging a type of sexuality to be " lower " or " less civilzed " than other.

Hm, you're parsing in a particular way and misreading intentionally. That word you used earlier. Obtuse. You're obtuse.

It's pretending to be fond of a womans smile when in fact you're ogling her tits. It's pretending to think a woman is funny when in fact you just want to bang her. It's pretending to think a womans hair is gorgeous when its her ass you are more interested in.

The class I refer to here is the dishonest separation of compliments that the users feel belong to different classes. The word gentleman and the subsequent community argot establishes and reinforces this. It's verboten to tell a woman to spread her lips, but it's ok to think that and compliment her figure. The problem is that better socialized people understand the former meaning behind those words.

Screaming " show us your tits " is wrong not because is vulgar, but because it hurts someone, while clearly that sub doesnt.

Hm, except it does. We're here in this thread saying that. That kind of sub is just as damaging as any other objectification porn masturbation sub. It's just that one isn't as honest about it.

This isn't rocket science. It's kind of shocking that you don't understand it.

[–][deleted] 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And this is where the creep factor comes in. They degrade women in the same way, they just mask it with different words. It's objectification repackaged in a manner to make them feel they are doing something different.

But there is not degradation going on, clearly. It is borderline lunatic to think that sexualization is degradation. Is the subreddit r/ladyboners degradating man?

they just mask it with different words

But they dont mask it, they are completely upfront about it. Is a nsfw sub, the purpose is clear. That said sometimes I look at those pictures because the women are gorgeous and stop there, I dont jerk off to it. I would say many do that too. In fact many consider sexual beauty to just be one of the many characteristics a human being can have, not less or more important than any others.

It's objectification repackaged in a manner to make them feel they are doing something different.

I am going to repeat myself, they are not hiding anything, because there is nothing to hide. Literally no ones there thinks they are doing something moral while porn is immoral, because literally no one, outside of this subreddit and some specific anti-porn feminists who are insanely unpopular today, think there is something wrong with porn or nudes. Is a clear concept sir, repeat with me, they are not hiding anything because they dont think they need to, they do the whole "gentleman" because they think is fun and hot

It's pretending to be fond of a womans smile when in fact you're ogling her tits. It's pretending to think a woman is funny when in fact you just want to bang her. It's pretending to think a womans hair is gorgeous when its her ass you are more interested in.

If they were interested in her ass, they would have said so. There is nothing wrong if they did. Some people get off from the concept of elegancy, and most of those women are elegant. Sometimes the smile attitude etc matters in the scale of "hotness"

The class I refer to here is the dishonest separation of compliments that the users feel belong to different classes

But they dont. When they complement some of those women dresses is because the dress is actually beautiful. If they wanted to complited their ass, they would do so in the other porn subs or nsfw subs they frequent.

Get your head out of your ass, there are no differences of classes in anyones mind but yours, there is no moral superiority or even attempt of such going on on that sub.

Hm, except it does. We're here in this thread saying that. That kind of sub is just as damaging as any other objectification porn masturbation sub. It's just that one isn't as honest about it.

I thought you said some of those subs are fine?

That's fine there are plenty

Why this one isnt? and why is r/ladyboners fine?

Anyway, it clearly doesnt hurt anyone. That is clear as water.

Well, I am lying, I guess it hurts people like OP and you, but that tiny incommodity you have, for no rational reason, is outweighed heavily by the happiness and pleasure created by the sub itself.

[–]Ghastlycitrus 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Definitely the former.