SHARE
Funny, this one doesn’t have a big gaudy ‘TRUMP’ on it. Can’t imagine why.

Donald Trump’s financial disclosure forms — which, unlike his taxes, he has to release — just keep giving pesky journalists all sorts of insights into how Lord Dampnut makes his money, like for instance from a teensy bit of tax dodging — or dodgy taxes, maybe. And also from owning a big low-income housing complex in Brooklyn, which brings in a tidy several million dollars a year for Trump and his family from the federal government. Which he happens to run now! And wouldn’t you know it, the only federal housing program that hasn’t been slashed in Trump’s budget plan just happens to be a program that makes direct payments to landlords like Donald Trump. But don’t worry, it’s not a conflict of interest, because it’s only a few million a year, and Donald Trump doesn’t even care about piddling little sums like that. What, you think he’s greedy or something?

The complex, named Starrett City, was built in the 1970s; one of the investors was Fred Trump, Donald’s father, who left Donald a 4% ownership share in the business. Trump made “at least $5 million between January of last year and April 15,” as recorded in his financial disclosures. So it’s not a huge part of Trump’s income stream — like most of us, he doesn’t really need $5 million a year — but it’s steady. In fact, Trump was so tickled with that easy government money that he once said Starrett City was “one of the best investments I ever made,” although, as we mentioned a whole sentence back, his dad was the one who made the investment. Still, pretty smart of Donald to get born the son of a rich old racist, huh? Each of Trump’s siblings also inherited a share in the ownership of Starrett City, too, so the government dollars keep flowing to the Trump family. Not a lot, but it helps.

Not that there’s anything hinky about the fact that, in a budget that slashes funding for public housing by 29 percent ($1.8 billion), and Section 8 vouchers by 5 percent ($1 billion), the Trump plan for the landlord payments keeps spending at about the same level as last year. Scott Amey, the general counsel for good-government watchdog group the Project on Government Oversight, says “It certainly raises questions as to why that remained relatively flat while there were other cuts,” although he also cautioned that there’s no direct evidence Trump’s income was a factor in the decision not to cut the landlord subsidies. It may have just been a happy coincidence. And they certainly don’t have to tell the likes of you, now do they? It’s just a tiny portion of Trump’s overall wealth, so why even worry about it? It’s not like Donald Trump is a grifter who flies into a rage if he finds out he could have been making money off a kids cancer charity, so why would he care about his few million a year from this project?

Besides, HUD Secretary Ben Carson, whose sole qualification for running the housing agency is having once lived in public housing (although his welfare mom was not dependent on it) has reassured everyone that “no one is going to be thrown out on the street” by the proposed HUD budget cuts. That’s a promise, just like Donald Trump’s solemn vow that no one would lose their health insurance, so you know they’ll back it up.

Also, as we already know, Donald Trump is very concerned about the needs of homeless and low-income people. Remember that one time he generously offered to make one of his luxury buildings available to house homeless tenants (for a nice infusion of public money) as part of a scheme to force out existing tenants who didn’t want to leave their rent-controlled apartments?

We can’t help but think maybe HUD is not necessarily the best-managed place, though, considering the secretary doesn’t know beans about public housing, and also that the administration has now appointed Eric Trump’s wedding planner to supervise public housing in the New York area. The WaPo article on Trump’s public-housing subsidies also has some further details on the appointee, Lynne Patton, who blew wet kisses to the Trump family at last year’s Republican convention, like that puzzling line on her resume that says she attended the “Quinnipiac University School of Law” where she pursued a “J.D. (N/A).” Turns out that’s perfectly reasonable: “she explained that “N/A,” short for “not applicable,” was meant to signify that she did not finish law school.” Wasn’t that obvious?

Another interesting note about that WaPo story: It appears that the person who’s now tasked with explaining everything about Ms. Patton is Armstrong Williams, Carson’s best pal, top advisor, and longtime excuse-maker (and alleged manrasser, allegedly). He had all sorts of explanations for why Ms. Williams will make an excellent regional administrator for HUD, despite mostly working in the event-planning and professional schmoozing fields:

Patton has “been a lot of dark places” but has overcome them, Williams said. “She has a keen insight into people who overcome mental illness and addiction,” he said, adding that this will help her relate to people HUD serves.

Now that’s reassuring, and doesn’t at all sound like the kid who worked at McDonalds for a summer and then listed “Management-track employee for Fortune 500 corporation” on her resume. Yr Dok Zoom has been on several road trips of hundreds of miles each, and would therefore like to be Secretary of Transportation. We’ve also been stuck in a narrow airline seat next to a guy even fatter than we are, so we have a keen insight into the people served by the FAA.

WaPo cites several crackpots, like New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, who think maybe running a huge region’s public housing bureaucracy might actually require some experience in government or housing, as de Blasio did when he held the same job a few years back, but Armstrong Williams has no patience for such negativity:

“Whatever Lynne Patton was in the past doesn’t matter,” he said. “What she is today matters, and Dr. Carson has tremendous trust in her.”

He said that neither the president nor anyone in the Trump family had urged Carson to recommend her for the position and that her closeness to the family was not a factor.

“It did not help her with Dr. Carson,” Williams said. “He was skeptical, too, just like anyone else. He didn’t realize she had the intellect and the knowledge and work ethic she has.”

Indeed. You might almost think Trump’s loyal functionaries know who they should choose even without being told.

Yr Wonkette is supported by reader donations. Please click the “Donate” clicky, and you might become secretary of the Treasury.

[WaPo / Image by C-Monster on Flikr / Creative Commons]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Joe Beese

    Dick lickers of RedState! What say you?

    I’m absolutely certain that all of the people protesting outside Mitch McConnell’s office within minutes of his release of the draft Senate healthcare bill all had time to throughly read and analyze it’s contents. It’s not like Democrats would stage a fake protest or anything. They don’t do that sort of thing. Right? They certainly wouldn’t use wheelchair bound people as props, would they?

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Because protesting the repeal of ACA isn’t something to protest.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and because the basic pillars of the plan have been circulating and in the news for the last week.

    • jesterpunk

      No one will have time to review the entire bill before its voted on, not even the GOP members working on it know what is in it.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        And even if you do read it, you need the U.S. Code right next to you because the new bill is written thusly:

        “(b) OTHER TITLE XXI AMENDMENTS.—…
        13 (1) Section 2101 of such Act (42 U.S.C.
        14 1397aa) is amended—
        15 (A) in subsection (a), in the matter pre-
        16 ceding paragraph (1), by striking ‘‘The pur-
        17 pose’’ and inserting ‘‘Except with respect to
        18 short-term assistance activities under section
        19 2105(h) and the Long-Term State Stability and
        20 Innovation Program established in section
        21 2105(i), the purpose’’;

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          So it’s one of those things where it doesn’t quote the whole section with underline and strikethrough additions and deletions, but just adds word to a section, that mean absolutely nothing unless you have the old code there so you have to find the section and mentally put the two parts together?

          yeah, that’ll get read.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Those faker protesting DemocRATS with their death panels and plans to kill grandma! Luckily we’ll all be saved by the loving hands of Paul Ryan and Mitch McConnell!

      !1!!1!!11!

    • shivaskeeper

      So speaks someone who has probably been bitching about the ACA for years without ever reading any of it.

      That is someone who’s opinion I would want to learn more of.

    • La forza del resistino

      Even a 5th grader knows Mitch will screw you in a NY second.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Since the “contents” are basically “Screw you, sickies” I’m pretty sure it doesn’t require a deep read.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        The Cliffs Notes version is: One Trillion Dollars In Tax Cuts For The Rich.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Wheelchair-bound people as props! No, never. Kid with Down Syndrome? Oh, no, wait, that’s Palin.

  • Oblios_Cap

    I wonder what interest Sleepy Ben has in the building? Or is he too stupid to get in on the grift?

    • arglebargle

      Ben does not invest in grain silos.

  • Joe Beese
    • Oblios_Cap

      Fans? Why are they mommy-coddling those people?

      • BosGrl

        They’re just the paper advertising kind with TRUMP in big letters.

  • Bananas Foster

    OT:

    White House Warns Reporters Not to Report on Instructions About Not Reporting on Today’s Press Conference.

    http://www.slate.com/blogs/the_slatest/2017/06/22/white_house_press_conference_no_camera_notice_is_not_reportable_white_house.html

  • schmannity

    Not a conflict, just smart with a great brain. Trump won, get over it libtards. Besides, it’s a 2-fer, kick a poor and pay a billionaire, which is what I will do once I become a billionaire and stop working at Walmart.

    • Ricky Gay

      No conflict! No conflict! You’re the conflict!

  • chascates
    • Oblios_Cap

      Damn. That boy has verbal diarrhea.

      • chascates

        As well as high grade OCD.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

          OCD libelz!
          He’s just narcissistically obsessed. Aint no meds for that.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Stupidity all the way down.

      “You dems hacked yourselves! Investigate THAT!” *sigh*

    • aureolaborealis

      A frisson of panic?

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    ““Whatever Lynne Patton was in the past doesn’t matter,” he said. “What she is today matters, and Dr. Carson has tremendous trust in her.”

    That never seems to apply to obama or hillary, or any other human not part of the rightwing grift. Funny, that.

    “He said that neither the president nor anyone in the Trump family had urged Carson to recommend her for the position and that her closeness to the family was not a factor.”

    So it was a total coincidence that this person came to Carson’s attention AND served the Trump family.

    “It did not help her with Dr. Carson,” Williams said. “He was skeptical, too, just like anyone else. He didn’t realize she had the intellect and the knowledge and work ethic she has.”

    Too bad she doesn’t have any FUCKING EXPERIENCE. That tends to be important in big jobs that deals with thousands of people and hundreds of millions of dollars of public money.

    Meanwhile, there are NO new job openings in my desired field today. AGAIN.

    (wanders away screaming “fuck” over and over again)

    • Oblios_Cap

      I hear that the White House is desperately looking to hire some folks…

      • BosGrl

        What’s available again? I think NOAA? I read the weather reports, so I should be able to get that job.

        • TX Dept. of Space Tacos
          • BosGrl

            Huh. Thanks, actually!

        • Good_Gawd_Yall

          Sorry, but I think I have more experience than you, as I was rained on TWICE on Sunday and also got a sunburn Tuesday. Would you like to apply to be my administrative assistant instead?

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            now, now, there’s senior positions for ALL of us that got rained on this week. Plenty to go around.

          • Oblios_Cap

            You’re both overqualified.

          • BosGrl

            Yes please!

      • Sophia

        Lots of lawyers getting hired there right now.

    • shivaskeeper

      Change your party affiliation and apply for shit you are wildly unqualified for. It seems to work for the Admin, maybe it can work for you also, too?

    • BosGrl

      Exactly – me, you, Doug, and others have been looking for work the wrong way, apparently.

  • La forza del resistino

    A landlord like Donald would tout upgrading additional exercise facilities by shutting the elevators off 8 hours a day.

    • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

      And collect a “Healthy Building” credit

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Brains (N/A)

  • baconzgood

    “Don, it’s hard to find quality people who want to work with you because uh…you have a management style some fine abrasive.”

    “Well hire that party planner. She said she liked me…stick her in the NSA or HUD”

    • BosGrl

      That is exactly how it happened.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I doubt the NSA part. If he remembered her melanin level, Urban was the only choice.

    • jesterpunk

      They wont hire anyone who has ever said anything bad about Trumplethinskin which really limits the pool of available people.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Uh, not everyone who uses HUD services is a former drug addict. Also, it’s not like she has a history of working in social services so how do we know she has an interest in helping people?

    • BosGrl

      God, she said so! Isn’t that enough for you people??

    • Rick Hill

      She helps herself and she’s a people, right?

      • GoutMachine

        Jury’s still out on that one.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    In related news, CNN just reported that Donnie T does not, in fact, have recordings of his conversation with James Comey.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      So, we can falsifying evidence to the list?

      • Oblios_Cap

        He destroyed them? That’s obstruction.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        It’s pretty clear that he only owned up to this because his “crack team” of audio “experts” couldn’t splice anything together that wasn’t just a disaster.

    • shivaskeeper

      No shit. You mean to tell me the blustering bully might have blustered and tried to bully? Shocking.

    • Joe Beese

      Unpossible!

      • Oblios_Cap

        He was right (again). I am disappointed.

    • Crank Tango

      Why would he lie about a th aHAHAHAHAHAH I CAN’T DO IT.

    • Joe Beese
      • msanthropesmr

        Why on Earth is he saying this?

        • Joe Beese

          Today?

          Maybe there’s something else in the news he wants to distract us from.

          • msanthropesmr

            What are the Kardashians doing?

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          I see you’re not aware of the reason he tweets. He’s not tweeting to fool us, you see? He’s tweeting the propaganda marching orders for his flying monkey brigade.

          Just watch, you’ll see this line played out a million times in comment sections all over social media. This is disinformation and his harpies are spreading it like poisoned leaflets.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Zarathustra, he’s not.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I guess SOMEONE was just watching CNN.

        We all know that Comey could not possibly have “illegally leaked” anything. Words, Donnie, they have fucking meanings.

      • jesterpunk
    • weejee

      But does Jimmy have cellphone recordings of his conversation with the Orange Shitgibbon?

    • beingreleased

      I’m kind of wondering if he waited so long to admit he was making it up because he thought someone would be able to fake tapes. Now, I know that sounds stupid to a rational person, but …

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I actually think the same, exact thing.

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        nope, that sounds like “a day in drumpfworld” to me.

      • Vincent Ricola

        I’m with you. I think he has tapes, but they don’t work in his direction, and he was stalling to see if he could get the voice manipulation technology to catch up.

    • DainBramage

      So, he was just trying to intimidate a witness?
      Wait…what? That’s just how mob bosses real estate tycoons talk?

    • schmannity

      So how does “hope” change between these two sentences:

      Comey better hope there are no tapes of conversations.

      I hope you can get past this Flynn investigation.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        It’s very clear now that when he says “hope”, he means it as intimidation.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Hope and change!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Was he lying then or is he lying now? Or is he not in fact a chronic and habitual LIAR?!”
      — Ghost of Charles Laughton

    • alpacapunchbowl

      Well lordy, I am disappointed to hear this!

    • Teto85

      So that means it’s just witness intimidation instead of obstruction.

  • Rick Hill

    “Whatever Lynne Patton was in the past doesn’t matter,”

    A damn good thing she isn’t a Clinton or a Democrat

    • weejee

      Does Lynne email?

      • Rick Hill

        Doesn’t matter if she emails all the sekrits, she’s republican

  • weejee

    And the Replican AHCA will cut the lifeline for 1 in 10 vets. Perhaps the GOP prefers a 2nd Amendment veteran mental healthcare solution.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a6938373e4057f68965867314acb71ffbc44e30aea469997c9453ba77ee99d24.jpg

    • Oblios_Cap

      Time to start building a Trumpville in DC.

      • Red Bird Ω

        It’s time to get him out of office.

        • Proud Liberal

          The Electoral College had one job. They failed miserably.

          • Oblios_Cap

            Actually, I believe they did exactly what they were designed to do. Again.

    • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

      Perhaps the GOP gameplan is to foment a Civil War.

      • Teto85

        They get it first. Madame Guillotine wants to sing for these republitards.

    • Joe Beese

      On the campaign trail, Donald Trump crowed, “I love those vets.” So as commander in chief, one would imagine Trump’s Twitter wars would steer clear of offending our nation’s finest — the soldiers and veterans who have served to protect the country.

      But when those vets begin needling the president, he’s not keen to engage them, positively or otherwise. Trump’s inability to absorb, deflect, or even respond to criticism in a mature way has resulted in yet another public spat on Twitter — this time with VoteVets, which calls itself the largest progressive veterans group in America, and which Trump blocked on Twitter Tuesday morning.

      https://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2017/6/13/15792822/trump-twitter-blocks-vote-vets-progressive-twitter-war

    • shivaskeeper

      Dead vets are preferable to live ones once they are off of active duty. Live, but broken vets cost money, dead vets are free. This is simple math.

      • BosGrl

        Yes. Just like addicts. Let ’em all die, then they’re no longer a problem.

        • shivaskeeper

          The big difference is vets were promised things when we signed on and tend to get shit on when we try to collect on the promises. The end result is the same, of course.

          • BosGrl

            The vets deserve everything and first. No vet should be without proper mental health care.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      To be fair, he doesn’t like the ones who get captured, or injured, or killed.

      • cmd resistor

        He only likes the ones who give him their medals or otherwise rave about how great he is.

    • BosGrl

      This is infuriating and preventable. But you know, he probably likes vets who don’t have PTSD.

      • shivaskeeper

        It’s not just the PTSD, but that is largest factor. Pain is another huge one. Terminal disease from chemical exposure that is somehow not service connected. Suicidal ideation from medications interacting because it’s easier to treat a symptom than the underlying conditions. There are more factors than PTSD is all I’m saying.

        • Oblios_Cap

          The US Military is one of the biggest polluters in the world. Troops get exposed to all sort of nasty stuff.

        • BosGrl

          I’m sure there are many reasons. My heart breaks for anyone who feels that suicide is the only way out, but vets most of all. The people who talk about “the troops” seem to be the ones who care the least.

          • shivaskeeper

            As it ever was.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      And AG Jeffy “Klan Elf” Sessions wants to take away MEDICAL Marijuana used in treatment of PTSD.

      The republican party has never cared about vets. Republicans start wars, destroy our soldiers, then kick them to the curb.

    • SweetDeeKat

      Helping out a weeping young widow of a veteran makes your vision go completely black when this comes up.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    *sigh*

    “President Donald Trump praised the Senate bill during brief remarks Thursday at a White House “Emerging Technology” event.

    “It’s going to very good,” Trump said. “A little negotiation but it’s going to be very good.””

    • GoutMachine

      Just like that plan to defeat ISIS that you were gonna have within 30 days of taking office? That kind of good?

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        and the wall and bringing back jobs and draining the swamp and our reputation with the powerhouse nations of the world and his infrastructure plan and…

        • shivaskeeper

          The wall is solar powered as of yesterday.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            actually, being interested int he subject for several reasons, I’d heard that a few weeks ago.

            Assuming one was going to piss away billions on a ridiculous fucking wall – it being solar powered would be the only redeeming factor.

            Problem is, if I remember my nasa mars rovers history, sun panels decrease power generation when covered with dust.

            Guess what we have a FUCKTON of down along the border? Along almost the entire thing.

            They’d have to hire a literal army to go squeegee that fuckin thing regularly.

          • cmd resistor

            anything that is good about it, he will screw up.

          • LucindathePook

            So, you against jerb creation?

          • shivaskeeper

            The problem is going to be transmitting the power to the grid. Aside from the dust on the cells, getting to power back to the grid is not going to happen.

            There is just to much loss in the lines from impedance to make it practical.

            One more reason for this to be a stupid plan on the surface, let alone digging deeper into it.

        • cmd resistor

          Well he said yesterday that the jobs are back and employment is the highest ever (I think), so it must be so.

      • Joe Beese

        I was promised head-spinning speed.

        So far it hasn’t even tilted.

    • jesterpunk

      Its going to be single player like he promised during the election right? No wait its going to be tax cuts for the rich because its a reconciliation bill that can only be about taxes and the budget not a normal bill.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i saw that dems are out speaking on this – i hope they are just HAMMERING away on all the things Trump said this bill would contain. what was it again? Everybody covered. Nobody loses coverage. Very affordable. High quality healthcare.

        Promises kept my fat ass.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          The Democrats are fighting back with the incisive venom we’ve come to expect from them.

    • Joe Beese
      • Bigby

        “…and Rethugs will blame Obama and libtard ‘obstructionists’, and deplorables will eat it up with a spoon while begging for more…”.

    • Rags

      mean,mean,mean

  • BosGrl

    I can’t remember which of our Wonkers has been saying “there are 5 lights” but damn it is true. We are so screwed.

  • BadKitty904

    And the GOP Congress does nothing. Yet again.

    • weejee

      I’d say they’re lap dogs, but I am one. My wife is a kitty, we’re a mixed marriage.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Who’s a good boy?

      • BadKitty904

        And here I’ve always thought you’re a piglet, Weej.

  • Joe Beese
    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      “I will now piss on your head and tell you its raining. You’re welcome”

    • cmd resistor

      Even his cufflinks are starting to bug me. I can’t even see what they look like but the small hands next to the cufflinked sleeve are starting to be annoying.

  • Proud Liberal

    Welcome to hell everyone. The haves have defeated the have nots.

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    Does this count as obstruction?:

    “The source told Bloomberg on the condition of anonymity that Trump hinted the tapes existed as part of a strategy to ensure Comey told the truth.

    That account matches claims made earlier Thursday by former house speaker Newt Gingrich, who told the Associated Press that Trump was bluffing about the tapes in an attempt to “rattle Comey.”

    “He’s not a professional politician,” Gingrich said. “He doesn’t come back and think about Nixon and Watergate. His instinct is: ‘I’ll outbluff you.’”

    • BosGrl

      Remember the days when a lying President was a big deal (“I did not have sex with that woman”)? Good times…

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        To be fair, he was a Democrat and “those” people need to be punished for simply sneezing the wrong way.

    • Vincent Ricola

      My vote is fucking yes.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        perhaps even witness intimidation.

        • Vincent Ricola

          Again, yes.

    • cmd resistor

      Shut up, Newt.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Turns out that’s perfectly reasonable: “she explained that “N/A,” short for “not applicable,” was meant to signify that she did not finish law school.” Wasn’t that obvious?

    Pure Brilliance

    Skwerl
    Omindiscipliary Studies Ph.D. (N/A)

    • aureolaborealis

      Is it redundant to include both ‘Omnidisciplinary Studies’ and ‘Not Applicable’?

  • MynameisBlarney
    • laughingnome

      And their family trees without branches.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I’m torn between laughing and wondering if someone is playing an awful joke.

      Can someone identify that flag for me? I don’t recognize it.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        looks german, i remember that ornate eagle thing from when we lived there.
        Also, the Iron Cross in the upper left of the flag.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Yeah, but tons of nations/causes use the eagle – anyone who romanticizes ancient Empires. Is the Iron Cross explicitly racist? I ask because it’s common on some Slavic nations as a symbol of the church.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            i genuinely don’t know – just, given they’re Neo-Nazi’s, I feel pretty comfortable with my answer.
            ; )

          • AnnieGetYerFun

            I was just wondering if they were Neo Nazis or English football fans.

            Oh, wait, I guess there’s a lot of crossover there.

          • BrianW

            That is the old Imperial German flag from WWI. Since Germany outlawed showing symbols from the Third Reich, a lot of their right wing groups have taken to using it instead.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            also too, I’m pretty sure the flag behind him is also german. So the one he has is using german colors.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          NEVER MIND. Iron cross is clearly listed as a hate symbol. Sigh.

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          It’s the Reichskriegsflagge. You’d think I would know these things.

      • Oblios_Cap

        It’s the German Imperial War Ensign. (Kriegsflagge)

    • aureolaborealis

      I, too, want them to keep their gene pool pure.

  • BosGrl

    OT: Could the person with the red Nissan, MA license plate X13 54L, go out and shut off your car alarm? Thank you.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    When I read that the wedding planner “has keen insight” into addiction and dark places, what I understand that to mean is that Housing Barbie got hooked in high school and got sent to rehab by her fabulously wealthy parents, who then came up with a creative way to explain her absence from the social scene. None of which, of course, in any possible way qualifies her for any position whatsoever, but we have to keep reminding ourselves that lack of experience is a feature, not a bug, in Upside-Down World.

    • BosGrl

      It’s great if she conquered addiction and became a wedding planner, but the “bootstraps” crowd’s hypocrisy is singular, especially by Dr. Carson.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

    Patton has “been a lot of dark places” but has overcome them,

    So that’s what they are calling “going to the inner city to buy crack” now.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Let’s not make assumptions. He could be referring to the time she talked her boyfriend into committing suicide.

    • La forza del resistino

      “been a lot of dark places” but has overcome them”
      cosmetic skin lightener?

  • anwisok
    • mailman27

      No time like the present.

  • baconzgood

    Grifters gotta grift.

  • MynameisBlarney
    • WotsAllThisThen

      They were confused by a racetrack longer than 1/4 mile and had both left and right hand turns.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    This goes here and forgive me in advance for flubbing any of this. I’m doing it from memory and it may be a little off. Still, the point has meaning.

    “At this festive season of the year, Mr Scrooge, it is more than
    usually desirable that we should make some slight provision for the poor
    and destitute who suffer greatly at the present time. Many thousands
    are in want of common necessaries. Hundreds of thousands are in want of
    common comforts, sir.”

    “Are there no prisons?”

    “Plenty of prisons…”

    “And the Union workhouses? Are they still in operation?”

    “Both very busy, sir…”

    “Those who are badly off must go there.”

    “Many can’t go there and many would rather die.”
    “If they would rather die, then they had better do it and decrease the surplus population.”

    This is no longer cartoonish villainy, folks, this is the republican party line. Yog help us all.

  • Ryan Denniston

    “WaPo cites several crackpots, like New York Mayor Bill de Blasio, who
    think maybe running a huge region’s public housing bureaucracy might
    actually require some experience in government or housing”

    Total nutjob! And anyway, the president cannot by definition have a conflict of interest. Because of statutorily something something.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      And he can’t be charged with shooting someone on 5th Avenue. As long as he doesn’t lose any supporters.

  • baconzgood

    It doesn’t matter what she did in the past? Uh when you hire someone usually what the did in the past does matter. That’s why fry cooks aren’t astronauts. It’s not a lateral career shift.

    • jesterpunk

      But hiring people with experience is bad, that is why voters voted for Trump. You shouldnt go with any of those “elite” edumicated peoples you just get people you know.

      • Vincent Ricola

        Also, too, we need to get rid of Nancy Pelosi and the Dem leadership because they are old and experienced at their jobs and republicans hate them

        • jesterpunk

          Should dems also just do what republicans want too?

          • Vincent Ricola

            I guess that’s our new thing? That and trashing the few women in power who have had successful progressive careers because John King needs something to talk about on CNN besides our Russian agent president? Maybe?

          • jesterpunk

            But St Bernie said worrying about womenz is bad and identity politics and Dems should focus on republicans and white male working people only.

          • Vincent Ricola

            And he shares that view with the ratfucking republicans of the past decade.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Naturally! Otherwise the Dems are just being obstructionist, which was crucial to the nation until 1/20/17 and then became a vile evil, just a step below treason.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Something something Obama’s lack of executive experience something… seems so long ago I can’t remember!

    • BosGrl

      You put all of your donors and sycophants into a box and shake it up real good. Then you consult your list of openings and pull them out, one by one. If you happen to get a good match, throw them back in and try again.

      • OutOfOrbit

        The throw-back is most importantest.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Better yet, ask Bannon who’d be the absolute worst for each job. Why take chances?

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Ahhh I can’t recall which stand up said it but they said the outsider thing is bullshit. You don’t want an outsider flying your plane.

    • cmd resistor

      You know, the “entry-level being in charge person.” Happens all the time.

  • La forza del resistino

    Patton will lend her wedding and event planning skills to planning weekly ice cream socials in the building’s basements.

  • Ryan Denniston

    Good luck Ms. Patton. I’d stay away from any Popeye’s Organizations, as your boss is the type to sell you out when he’s under fire.

  • Joe Beese

    If we’re lucky, Trumpcare may lose critical R votes because it doesn’t actually repeal the ACA.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/b4e3d1e569a6f5f304f9bfcbca9c93ebf04e8939b1ae1814699b7e2c8c6ccda1.png

    • Ryan Denniston

      Purist snowflakes.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        It’ll be nice for Republicans to have the progress not perfection argument for once.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Maybe they could if they try to round up 60 votes with an extended sales pitch. 100 hours of committee meetings and a year of floor debate oughta do it.

    • Me not sure

      When I began reading it I thought the same thing. It does however selectively change language in key sections to reverse the meaning.

    • BosGrl

      Oh my god. They’re going to still call it Obamacare and when people start dying, they’ll say, see, we told you so.

      • h4rr4r

        Duh.

        Let’s just hope it costs them enough votes to kill their bill.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        They did get rid of the “affordable” bit, so “ACA” is right out.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        “We did away with most of it, but we’re still calling it “Obamacare”, you betcha!”

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        so, like blaming a fart on the dog?

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      Did they make sure that no shit hits no fan until 2021?
      Because I can see a Democrat-controlled Congress driving the country of of the ditch before anything much happens.
      Ditto with climate agreements, NATO treaties, Cuba, and all the other shit Il Douche3 and the Repugnants think they’re “accomplishing”.

    • Weird Fishes

      it’s a helluva thing when a shitty bill isn’t judged shitty enough by these reactionary ear mites.

    • Angry Red Bird DGAF

      No no no….. That’s a set up to make sure people still think of the healthcare bill as Obamacare. It’s to keep them from understanding show much they are changing. The R’s will still vote for it but now they have an excuse to blame the failures on. They can point to Obamacare and say that it’s a bad law….now that they crapped it up.

  • Bitter Scribe

    I have to redo my resume because a hard drive crash wiped out all my files yesterday. Now, thanks to Lynne Patton, I have some new lines to add to it:

    • Masters in astrophysics from MIT N/A
    • Ph.D. in economics from London School of Economics N/A
    • Studied directly under Socrates N/A
    • Consulted with the Lord God Almighty during the seven days of creation N/A

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Don’t forget the most important item: Ben Carson believes in me!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    What, you think he’s greedy or something?

    I sure do!

  • SayItWithWookies

    Someone must’ve told Assmouth that Andrew Jackson filled his administration to the rafters with unqualified friends and family members. And that led to Jackson’s great legacy – the Trail of Tears, fucking with the economy, defying the Supreme Court. Worked out great, really.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      That’s his hero.

  • Biel_ze_Bubba

    You will be shocked, shocked to learn that Il Douche was full of shit when he twattered about maybe having taped his attempt to corrupt FBI director Comey.
    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/338988-trump-doesnt-have-comey-tapes-report

    • Ryan Denniston

      Witness intimidation. Maybe another charge Muller can look into for us.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Well, attempted witness intimidation.
        Legally, a laughably incompetent attempt does not get one off the hook. Dumb criminals go to jail, too.

        • William Cook for now

          Yeah, you don’t get to keep trying until you make it work.

  • Joe Beese

    The Rude Pundit, with good advice.

    So there is a space for Democrats to creatively show the effects of a bill that quite simply takes money from the poor, the elderly, the addicted, and the sick and gives it to the very wealthy in the form of a tax cut. That’s an easy ad right there: Rich people saunter into a doctor’s office and rob a bunch of ill people in the waiting room, leaving them dying and sicker, only without hope of seeing a doctor.

    Or how about a real death panel: a row of wealthy people behind a table, making a decision on whether or not each suffering poor person deserves help. Is it over the top? Yeah. That’s the fucking point. Subtlety and well-reasoned arguments aren’t going to win here because people don’t respond to that. They respond to a rich puke punching Gramps in the balls until he hands over his wallet.

    Enough with the calm, rational discussions. Enough with the speeches. Go for their throats with an emotional appeal. And that means crying people who would lose health care and the image of the uncaring Republican, ready to intentionally inflict more pain.

    http://rudepundit.blogspot.com/2017/06/note-to-democrats-little-hyperbole.html

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    You know what my dream job would be? I’d love a job as an executive in a big Fortune 500 company in, say, Salerno. I’d like to work perhaps as many as three half-days a week, starting at around, oh, eleven-thirty, which enabled me to avoid the heat of the middle of the day. And I’d like for my job to basically entail telling other people what to do, so I could spend plenty of time on Skype with my grandson. And I would need a salary of about – oh, let’s not be too greedy, so we’ll go with the nice round figure of 2million euros – so I could afford to live in a mansion with a view of the Mediterranian and a staff to clean for me. And I’d need unlimited use of the company plane so I could fly home periodically to visit.
    Do you think my bachelor’s in film criticism makes me over-qualified for that? I could lie and say I didn’t finish.

  • Bananas Foster

    It would all be worth it if I could just read the headline about Trump appointing Melania’s favorite decorator for Secretary of the Interior.

    • Ryan Denniston

      That’d be priceless. Sadly, they are not incompetent enough to mistake what interior means.

      • Bananas Foster

        Assumes facts not in evidence.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      The Grand Canyon is nice and all, but it could really use some nice upholstery.

      • Bananas Foster

        I was trying to figure out if gold plating would cause a rock slide at Mount Rushmore.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          As long as Trump stay up there, who cares if any of those other losers who never even had a successful TV Reality Show crumble away?

  • Weird Fishes

    I’m going to reserve judgment until I see video from Eric’s wedding. Only then will I join in the general trashing of that criminally unqualified dilettante, and Ms. Patton.

    • BosGrl

      Don’t look for Eric, though. His kind doesn’t show up on video.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        If Bigoted Morans didn’t show up on video, Fox News would be a radio channel.

  • jesterpunk

    Good news Melon, you lying on your citizenship application isnt a reason to lose citizenship.

    http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/06/22/533954802/supreme-court-overturns-ruling-on-stripping-u-s-citizenship

    • BosGrl

      That’s what all those people ICE has been detaining did wrong. They didn’t LIE. Drumpf only likes liars.

  • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

    OT – If Anypony was wondering why I was asking questions about photos, I’ve been inspired to do some artwork, and yet I have no paper or markers at this time. Anyway, inspired by the “Delta Green” RPG and some music:
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/68637134550521d1f2c2f134a3bdb7e248714345b8cb495877ec26272f3b6f59.jpg

    • William Cook for now

      I feel like if I was to find myself in a Delta Green group I’d end up writing an SCP module.

      • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

        SCP?

        • William Cook for now

          http://www.scp-wiki.net

          Over ten years and still running, a wiki of creepypasta written as the reports of a shadowy agency that contains terrible things.

          Very fun if you like horror that gives you just enough breadcrumbs for your imagination to run wild.

          • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

            Cool, thanx. I’ll take a look. :)

  • Bill D. Burger

    Well, the lying orange fucking liar finally admitted a short while ago that he is the lying fucking liar we all knew he was. ___ fucking liar.
    Sorry…needed to get that outta’ my system.
    “Tapes…..don’t know nuthin’ bout no tapes. I didn’t tape anybidy’! Whatchutalkinbout?”

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/877932956458795008

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    if I was the suspicious, cynical sort, I’d say Trump dropped this “no tapes of me and comey” to cover for how shitty the Senate’s healthcare bill is – knowing the MSM would take the bait. Then again, his ego is uber alles, so I’m not sure.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/91b6e6ed05383cb1cc1487fb85169fefd48cb4caae3553ed6543628aea40073c.png

    • BosGrl

      I’m the suspicious, cynical sort and I agree with this.

    • Vincent Ricola

      You’re right. The timing is right on schedule.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i remember watching CNN at the dealership on Monday and Wolf Blitzer sounded far too excited that the answer about tapes might be coming this week. So float that an answer is coming, wait till the day teh Senate releases the text of the bill (that contradicts everything Donnie Two Scoops promised) and then drop that turd.

        • Vincent Ricola

          Exactly. It was like a half hour after the terrible bill was posted online.

          • WotsAllThisThen

            Pretty lame distraction if you ask me. What happened to “At least we tried” with North Korea?

        • The Wanderer

          Blitzer’s paid to act as if he’s about to cream his panties. He and his Manly Beard of Consequence are a hideous blight upon the land.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “I just say stuff. Sometimes it helps me, sometimes it doesn’t. But mostly, I just like to say stuff.”
      — Donald Trump

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        i’m rereading hitchiker’s guide to the galaxy, reminds of me zaphod:

        “I freewheel a lot. I get an idea to do something, and hey, wh y not, I do it. I reckon I’ll become President of the Galaxy, and it just happens, it’s easy. I decide to steal this ship. I decide to look for Magrathea, and it all just happens. Yeah, I work out how it can best be done, right, but it always works out. It’s like having a Galacticredit card which keeps on working though you never send off the checks. And then whenever I stop and think – why did I want to do something? – how did I work out how to do it? – I get a very strong desire just to stop thinking about it. Like I have now.”

        • Bozilingus

          Zaphod did have a part of his brain removed, also, too.

          • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

            Assumes Trump had brains to begin with.

          • Oblios_Cap

            We apologize for the inconvenience.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Of course he did, TX. He’s an idiot, you see? He thinks that his Comey tape “bombshell” (not a bombshell as we all knew he was lying in the first place) is somehow more important than gutting health care. He didn’t prepare for the images of people in wheelchairs being forcibly drug out of Turtle’s office. That kind of thing can’t just be distracted with a stupid tweet.

      My only hope is that the rest of the world look upon his tweets with the same intent that most of us do, as a pack of lies not even adjacent to the truth.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        what’ll be interesting is what CNN and MSNBC and Fox and everyone else is running as their top story at 5 or 6 pm tonight.

        My guess is, the ridiculous tapes, cause I’m a goddamn cynic.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Of course it will be. The “tapes” story is sexier and shorter, more clear cut, easier to report as there is a kind of a resolution.

          Healthcare is too complicated a thing for the six o’clock news.

          • Oblios_Cap

            It takes that whole half-hour to cover everything that’s happening in the world plus add a five minute puff piece along with the 10 minutes of commercials.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Gee, if only there was a news organization with 24-hour access to the airwaves, thereby giving them the time to do a deep dive into what their investigative journalism has turned up.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Section 8 never worked this well for me.”
    — Corporal Klinger

  • Mavenmaven

    No conflict, and no tapes, either. Just lies and corruption.

    • Proud Liberal

      And he’s getting away with it. This country is F.U.C.K.E.D

  • Vincent Ricola

    CNN – at least 3 GOP senators are coming out in opposition to the Republican “heathcare” plan within the next half hour. LOL.

    • Marceline

      Don’t believe it until they go on record.

      • Vincent Ricola

        I don’t know, I think they could get a few Rand Paul types that don’t think it goes far enough because some old and poor people might get to live.

        • Oblios_Cap

          They are shirking their duty to decrease the surplus population.

      • Meccalopolis

        Word. Holding out for fig leaves

    • SayItWithWookies

      They could rename the bill Dismantling Obama’s Accomplishment so everyone can call it what it is – DOA.

  • Joe Beese

    Way O/T: The directors fired off the standalone Han Solo movie have been replaced by… Ron Howard?

    • TJ Barke
    • Latverian Diplomat

      That’s academy award winner Ron Howard. :)

      FWIW, it’s not impossible this is just a cover for Kasdan to take over directing. Because he was already the screenwriter, he can’t officially do that by DGA rules.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        There’s also the matter of who gets the credit and residuals – the DGA is probably not going to accept giving all three of them director credits for this picture, so someone’s gonna get left out.

      • Joe Beese

        Confused.

        Lots of movies are written and directed by the same person – i.e. Woody Allen. Is the rule that the writer can’t take over for another director?

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Yeah – it’s the “Eastwood Rule”. Prevents someone already involved in the production (like, say an actor) from firing a director (like Eastwood did when making “The Outlaw Josey Wales”) mid-production and then taking over the job themselves.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          As I understand, someone already involved in the film in another capacity, (in this case screenwriter) cannot take over as director.

          Having both roles from the beginning of the project is fine.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      It’s an origin story about Han Solo growing up in the Mayberry System.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Sheriff Andy shot first!

        • WotsAllThisThen

          May not look like much, kid, but it’s the fastest Ford in the Galaxie. It’ll make the Mount Pilot run in twelve parsecs!

          • The Wanderer

            Spaceballs already made a Ford Galaxie joke.

          • alpacapunchbowl

            Dude, spoiler alert!

          • Latverian Diplomat

            “But dad…isn’t a parsec a unit of distance?”

            “Don’t get smart kid.”

      • TJ Barke

        Mayberraan.

      • Alt-dog

        If there’s a new droid named Barney, I’m in.

        • The Wanderer

          B4RN-3?

          • TJ Barke

            Jynx, sort of.

          • The Wanderer

            Yours is better.

          • TJ Barke

            Seems like a toss up to me.

          • The Wanderer

            You’ll have to excuse me. I have a heart filled with hatred toward that cabal of cannibals in DC right now.

          • TJ Barke

            Cannibals libel?

          • TakingAmes

            Cabal of Cannibals is a pretty good punk band name.

        • TJ Barke

          B4R-NE

        • Nockular cavity

          Aunt B-3PO

      • mardam422

        His Schwinn made the Briscoe Darling, Mt. Pilot to Raleigh run in under 12 parsecs.

    • William Cook for now

      I hought he was interim to keep the ptlrofecr moving while they find someone new.

      Either way, I remember what happened to Alien 3.

    • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

      I dunno. Apollo 13 was awesome, and Rush has amazing action scenes.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Don’t forget Eat My Dust.

    • Royal Ugly Dude

      Narrator: “Meanwhile, Tobias was giving some unsolicited advice to Chewbacca and George Michael…”

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Tobias, you blowhard!

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Great! So the Han Solo movie will be turned into a feel good movie where everyone is happy.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Eh, there’s only 3 1/2 weeks of principal photography left. Film’s been shooting for four months already.

    • Sakonyachen

      Ron Howard directed a pretty successful movie about space once. Why not two?

    • Bozilingus
  • AnnieGetYerFun

    “HUD Secretary Ben Carson… has reassured everyone that “no one is going to be thrown out on the street” by the proposed HUD budget cuts.

    “They’ll be thrown out on the sidewalk; we clearly can’t throw anyone as far as the street,” mumbled Carson before falling back asleep.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Elise Jordan (conservapundit I don’t like much) made a funny. Defending Donald Trump is like hugging a suicide bomber…he’ll blow you up too.

    • The Wanderer

      “I laughed until I stopped.”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Now that is actually clever.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Repukes aren’t too interested in answering questions about the Trump Wealthcare Bill.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e40e2ce4766ebee1f23b99f41da968818b62d2ef990734dbc5eed54f049f14cf.gif

  • baconzgood

    I’m looking to get paid an ass load of money for job I’m not qualified to do.

    • The Wanderer

      Have you tried Pope? Hours are easy, pay’s good, and you’re just as qualified as Red Light Frankie, The Gauleiter, or The Golem are and were.

    • Bill D. Burger

      That’s the motto of the whole TrumpCo FUBAR administration. Every fucking person in it.

    • laughingnome

      That line was cut from Trump’s acceptance speech at the convention.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Who’s your daddy and what’s his bank account look like?

    • SeeTrain65

      Are you honest? Do you have integrity?

      Two strikes.

  • whitroth

    There’s no way that he would have arranged the budget cuts to not affect his properties, no, no. That was mere chance.

    Come on, sheeple, are you going to believe me, or your lying eyes? It was an innocent oversight….

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    This is something many Americans have never had to deal with before. What we have here is a man so disconnected from the concept of truth that reality itself becomes malleable.

    I’ve read more analysis like this than I can possibly count though I have yet to read or hear anyone say that he has no connection whatsoever to the truth. We look for motives behind the lies or put his statements into two categories, “lie” and “not lie”.

    Well, here goes, nothing he says is true. Everything he says is a lie. Two categories? Okay then, there are “lies” and “damned lies”. He leans more toward the latter.

    My dear old dad had this problem. He wasn’t malicious in his lying, he was pathological. He’d lie about the dumbest shit. He’d lie even when you KNEW he was lying and instead of backing down when called on it, he’d DOUBLE down. The end result for my family was to just disregard everything he said.

    This is why I am resisting reading this man’s tweets from here on. It’s time for me to just start disregarding everything he says. Don’t need any further analysis. There’s not a single tweet that’s not a lie, except for the ones that are damned lies.

    He does NOT shape the narrative. He is NOT the topic of all discussion. Not telling anyone else what to do here, just using a lot of words to say “I need to stop trying to understand a pathological liar based on his lies.”

    • laughingnome

      We can still mock the shit out of him though.

      • The Wanderer

        Until that becomes unlawful.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Screw it, THAT is a hill I’m willing to die for. They’ll just have to kill me.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Hell yeah!

      • LucindathePook

        Not can so much as MUST.

    • OddMan

      One of trump’s closests friends once said “He will lie about what time it is just for the practice.” And this is a friend.

    • Blackest Noobs

      Trump is literally the Little Boy Who Cried Wolf.

      cry wolf enough times, even the rubes will stop believing you ( though it’s gonna take A LONG TIME before the rubes wise up but, for the most part, they eventually will even if it will probably take forever or a generation or two)

  • OddMan

    ” . . . explanations for why Ms. Williams will make an excellent regional administrator for HUD, despite mostly working in the event-planning and professional schmoozing fields . .”
    I kinda like this new job qualification program. I like to have a drink now and then, I’ve even been known to smoke a fine cigar occasionally and even like to shoot at things with my 12 gage shotgun when I am drunk. Hell I’d even like to blow up things if I had any dynamite.
    Therefore I am uniquely qualified to run the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives. (They added explosives a while back)

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “Those who claim corruption when they see me benefit from a housing program that remains fully funded in contrast to all the others, just don’t understand. I had to do this. It turns out even the President can’t just write checks to himself.”
    — Donald Trump

  • Bill D. Burger

    The responses to Hair Furor’s tweet admitting that he is a fucking liar are epic. (Worth a short visit for a moment of pure enjoyment.) Of course, he’s done this today to draw attention away from the release of that abomination, The Trump Wealthcare Bill, and the spreading fallout and damage to the GOP from it.

    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/877932956458795008

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “Watch what you say, there’s fresh tape on my tie.”
      — Donald Trump

      • alpacapunchbowl

        Ohhhhh, *those* tapes.

    • The Green Bastard

      To distract you from Bitch McConnell eating your shoes & wallet in the next room, Trump will now have an embarrassing accident on the bedroom carpet.

      • Relativicus

        I suspect it’s the opposite. They timed the tweet so it would be swallowed up by The Media frenzy around the “healthcare” bill.

    • OddMan

      The President of the United States lied for the purpose of misleading the public, intimidating FBI Director he improperly fired.
      ~ Susan Hennessey

    • Relativicus

      He sooooo didn’t write that. I doubt he could even get his baby fingers to tap that out if he wanted to, and he most definitely didn’t want to. And if he could type it, and wanted to, he obviously wouldn’t use complete sentences, words, or punctuation.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        yup, same as most of his thoughts and prayers tweets. Complicated sentences, no all-capped words, no insults, no self-aggrandizing language, not even an exclamation point!

  • Vincent Ricola

    OT – the Sarah Fuckalbee Sanders audio only press conference should be the dictionary link under the word “torture.”

  • canes_pugnaces

    Are poor people tired of winning yet?

    • TJ Barke

      How would they know?

      • canes_pugnaces

        Starvation? Homelessness? I don’t know. But they can’t work for Trump. No way. Rich people, Nazis and wedding planners only need apply.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      I believe they are tired…of something.

    • If it means that the blacks and Messicans are hurtin’ too, then no, they’re not tired of it.

      • willi0000000

        fuck off . . . it’s not us poors, it’s the stupids.

  • Joe Beese
    • TJ Barke

      So is everyone.

    • The Wanderer

      What the fuck did he expect from this crowd of goddamned bootlickers?

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      But you know, Hillary the neoliberal shill with her paid speaking engagements at Goldman Sachs..Have you Berned it all down enough yet?

  • canes_pugnaces

    I read a great description of Conny’s hair: a battleship of a combover.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Lol. It’s difficult not to perceive at least some less than endearing connotation from the term “battleship” when used as an adjective.

  • OneYieldRegular

    He said that neither the president nor anyone in the Trump family had urged Carson to recommend her for the position and that her closeness to the family was not a factor.

    What he forgot to add is that the line of people wanting to work for Donald Trump is only about three persons long.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: So I heard Trump now saying there never were tapes.

    So he now claims he lied about having tapes of Comey to mislead the public and intimidate the FBI guy leading the investigation of him and the whole Russia fiasco who he had just fired.

    • TJ Barke

      Almost like he’s a piece of shit…

      • Blackest Noobs

        Almost?

        • TJ Barke

          I mean, it really seems that way…

          • Blackest Noobs

            i would say we’re way past almost and now in IS territory; he IS a piece of shit.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Oh, now watch them twist themselves into pretzels claiming he never lied or tried to mislead people.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      His tweet suggested that with secret Obummer recordings and unmaskings and such there might still be secret tapes you just never know. Because Obama is skulking around the White House, listening to the microwaves

    • BigCSouthside

      That’s a fucking felony. Why isn’t impeachment happening tonight

      • C4TWOMAN

        Because GOP must stand by their baboon.

      • Shanzgood 15 Days

        Yes, please.

    • eyelashviper

      Someone in his inner circle (eeewwwww) said he dropped that idea to try to “rattle” Comey….hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
      Like Comey, a guy with decades as a LEO, attorney, and intelligence agent would be rattled by a tantruming little fat stooge.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Comey probably is in shock and awe….that anyone as stupid and clueless as Trump became POTUS.

        I could see Trump mistaking that look for fear.

    • Snarkbot 9000

      Try saying that 5 times fast. I dare ya.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Besides Sean Spicer, and now Sarah Sanders, does anybody think saying “I can’t speak for the President” is a wise thing to say as the president’s spokesperson at a press briefing.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      well, if they have the sense of self-preservation God gave a fruit fly, they should.

      Also too – maybe we’re reading it the wrong way. Maybe they LITERALLY have no idea what the fuck he’s trying to say.

      • Vincent Ricola

        That’s what I honestly believe. Donald spouts off a new, unillegible position every time they talk to him, so who in the hell even knows what he’s trying to say.

    • TJ Barke

      A reporter with a spine would ask “What do you mean you can’t speak for the president? That is LITERALLY your job.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Especially considering Spicer has in the past said, “When I’m at this podium I speak for the President not myself.”

    • Bananas Foster

      Seth Meyers had a great line last night, basically, “We need to stop asking Sean Spicer about the president. He’s clearly never met the man.”

  • Teto85

    That’s the way things “work” now. If trump can get a slice it will happen. If not, he, or his cronies, will fuck it up enough so they can get a slice and not leave any crumbs behind for the 99%. Because what good is running a country like a business if you can’t get rich and fuck over the poors at the same time?

    • TJ Barke

      Running the country like a business sounds great til you realize that running a business is mostly about ripping off your customers and employees as efficiently as possible…

      • Teto85

        There are some honest businesses that don’t rip people off, but that is the way they are supposed to operate and therefore get little or no press.

  • calliecallie

    “Yr Dok Zoom has been on several road trips of hundreds of miles each, and would therefore like to be Secretary of Transportation.”

    I think you would excellent at that, Dok, and I pledge you my sword, er, position papers.

  • BosGrl

    OT: Did the eye doctor Rand Paul just call himself a physician? Um.

    • jesterpunk

      Most likely, he made up his own board to be an eye doctor so why not add some more things onto it.

      • C4TWOMAN

        Masseuse. Homeopathic chiropractor. Aura cleanser…..the options are limitless!

    • eyelashviper

      And Carson is a brain surgeon…more evidence of a crisis in health care in Murika.

      • Snarkbot 9000

        Huh what now? Just woke up today after slipping into a deep coma back in 1987.

        Gotta say these little TV phones are totally tubular, though I’m not sure I quite get the whole selfie thing…lame. Also, since they won’t give me a damned newspaper, I can’t seem to find any news on these things that’s not a comedy skit…I mean who would believe a tacky asshole like Donald Trump was President of the US? I was not born yesterday, people. Seriously now, where do I get the news – the REAL news? Help a recently comatose guy out? Please?

        Also, what’s the deal with the music now? I keep asking for my Mister Mr. mix tape and they keep injecting me with powerful hypnotics immediately thereafter. Have you all figured out how to automatically flip the cassette yet?

        • eyelashviper

          8 tracks, they are the future.

  • La forza del resistino

    One understanding that living in a Trump building is knowing the elevator may not always go to the top.

  • eyelashviper

    OT, Sarah the Hucklefluff is now on tv, trying to be the interface between the Yapping Hoofwanker and a press that is all too often soft and fails to put pressure where it belongs. So far she is stuttering, and may need the weekend to recover. I give her 5 weeks, max, until they bring out another sacrificial goat.

    • Lambsendbeds

      Goat libelz! The average goat in a wig, lipstick and a string of fake pearls would be far more,attractive AND articulate than Ms Suckabee.

  • Panika MCD

    if Dr. Stabby was skeptical of her in the first place, then how is it possible she made it through the slush pile to an interview with him without pressure from Trumpster Fire & Sons, Inc.?

    and I’m looking forward to finding out who gets to be regional director for HUD in TX as their housing program for the victims of natural disasters isn’t important to us AT ALL…except for it is in every way possible.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Having friends who went through the Onion Creek floods- yeah, it is important. The City of Austin at least did the right thing in buying out most of the homeowners in the worst areas.

      • Panika MCD

        HUD was also helpful in floods in the RGV (those were so bad that the highways to the RGV flooded and it took forever for anyone to get there so the local hardware stores and construction workers simply donated everything and were reimbursed by HUD) and East Texas (wonder if there are any Republicans in East Texas?), Hurricane Ike relief, wild fire relief and the ice storms in the Panhandle a couple years ago when a bunch of roofs caved in. I do love my town, but it’s worth mentioning that TX experiences a shit ton of natural disasters and Austin is not the only place to benefit from housing programs. oh, and the drought from 2011-2014…wonder if anyone benefited from DOAg programs…(they did.)

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I have had jobs, therefore I would like to run the Labor Dept.

    • SeeTrain65

      Makes as much sense as anything else going on now.

    • Lambsendbeds

      I have health, and I’ve been told that I’m human, so that’s Health and Human Services for me!

      I’d have to be better than Tom Price, MD ( Major Dickweed).

    • Snarkbot 9000

      You make a convincing argument. I’ll second that motion.

    • phoenix00

      But are you rich enough?

  • wavicles

    I last toured the Aeronautics and Space Museum when I was a teen. I fondly remember those trips and think of them from time to time. I wonder if The Smithsonian Institution needs another expert on their staff?
    Actually, like Sheriff Clark, I couldn’t possibly find the time in my jet-set lifestyle, and regretably must turn down the offer to sit on the Board that I must have dropped while walking to my car at the Post Office.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    “…maybe HUD is not necessarily the best-managed place…”
    Hahahahahaha! Ha ha ha hahahahahah! Ha ha! (stop to breathe) Hahahaha!

    HUD is the agency that gave $11 billion in Katrina homeowner recovery funds to the State of Louisiana – the most corrupt state in the union – with no oversight and no accountability whatsoever. Which is why I sit here in Missouri with another fucking mortgage because Louisiana screwed most of the homeowners out of their grants so that state officials and ICF International could steal their share of the money, and after a citizens group flew to D.C. and told HUD what was going on and HUD said “Not our problem. Go away.”

    So, yeah, maybe it isn’t the best-managed (cough) Hahahahahahahaha! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/016e1437e6d4a422a1ca69548ee086318c2ee375e3b406e3e406fff99ccf82c0.gif

  • phoenix00

    “she explained that “N/A,” short for “not applicable,” was meant to signify that she did not finish law school.”

    So she didn’t have enough money to buy her way to a law degree?! Sad!

    And by this logic, too poor to hold a government jerb, because Trump don’t like the poors in government.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    “It did not help her with Dr. Carson,” Williams said. “He was skeptical, too, just like anyone else. He didn’t realize she had the intellect and the knowledge and work ethic she has.”

    Oh. My. God. Dr. Ben Carson assessing another person’s intellect, knowledge, and work ethic.

  • DT

    If you were an SNL writer coming up with fantastical bits about how corrupt or inept, or both, Trump and his administration could be, you would be fired for being to fantastical for coming up with half of this stuff.

    It’s always true that real life is stranger than fiction.

  • My dad worked for Starette City as a realtor. It is not a low-income housing project. It was a planned middle-class community with a few apartments set aside for disabled or poor that were subsidized by the Fed’s. That is why the Trumps get such a relatively small amount from the government. The shouldn’t be allowed a dime.

Previous articleAnnouncing Wonkette’s New Advice Column, ‘Fuckin A People, It’s Not That Hard’!
Next articleGuys? Shut The Fuck Up About Nancy Pelosi