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We don’t know how to broach this subject, gentle Wonkers, but it seems President Donald Trump has said something stupid. At a campaign rally in Iowa (only weak loser presidents actually govern once they’ve been elected), Trump said a thing that is making thinking people say “THE FUCK?” but will only endear him to his idiot supporters even more. Trump said he said he doesn’t even think poor people are gross (yes he does) but for big important jobs like Treasury or Commerce secretary, you really need a yooooogely rich person, because nobody understands money or business except for yoooooogely rich people.

Let’s transcribe President Baby Hands, and annotate it with our own disrespectful commentary:

You appoint a rich person to be in charge of the economy! [Crowd of lower middle class Trump supporters laughs and cheers.] I said … no it’s true. And Wilbur [Ross] is a very rich person, in charge of Commerce. I said, because that’s the kind of thinking we want! You know, really, because they’re representing the country! They don’t want the money, they’re representing the country! [Or at least their fellow billionaires.] And they had to give up a lot to take these jobs! They gave up a lot!

When you get the president, this is the president of Goldman Sachs, smart! Having him represent us, he went from massive paydays to peanuts! Little tiny! [Trump has switched to talking about chief economic adviser Gary Cohn. Vanity Fair points out that Cohn is not taking a salary, but would be making the “peanuts” of $180,000 per year, which is more than most of the people at that Iowa rally could ever dream of making.]

I’m waiting for them [points at dirty lying media] to accuse him of wanting that little amount of money. They wanted that.

But these are people that are great, brilliant business minds, and that’s what we need, that’s what we have to have, so the world doesn’t take advantages ofofofof …

[Trump trails off momentarily. He is having fun, but maybe he wishes he was back on Air Force One watching re-runs of “Property Brothers,” because that is a thing they DVR on Air Force One.]

We can’t have the world taking advantage of us anymore! And I love all people, rich or poor, but in those particular positions, I just don’t want a poor person. Does that make sense? Does that make sense? If you insist, I’ll do it, but I like it better this way, right?

And the crowd cheered and cheered, because they know in their hearts that if Gary Cohn and Wilbur Ross have a lot of money, they must be Good People. It’s not like Goldman Sachs ever was a key player in causing a worldwide financial crisis or anything. Maybe once Trump brings back all the jobs, they too will become Good People like Gary and Wilbur!

We are reminded of the time Trump told a Las Vegas crowd that he loves the “poorly educated.” In that instance, the medias and the Wonkettes were like, “Do his supporters realize he’s talking shit about them?” and his supporters were like, “YEW HEAR THAT, DADDY LIKES DUMB COUSIN FUCKERS LIKE US, TAKE THAT LIBTARDS!” And now Trump loves the poor people too, but they’re not qualified to work for him, EW YUCK GROSS.

Now you might say, “But Wonkette, some rich people ARE smart at business and made their money honestly and therefore they are A Expert! On the other hand, some rich people are Donald Trump, who is actually really shitty at business and wouldn’t have a pot to pee in if he wasn’t a slimy motherfucker whose entire business model is fucking people over with other people’s money. How is that A Expert?” Wonkette hears you, and Wonkette concurs.

At press time, Americans were playing their assigned roles reacting to this thing that would be a gaffe for anybody other than Donald Trump. “Morning Joe” is saying “OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGOD, THIS IS SO TERRIBLE, NUZZLE ME MIKA!” Wonkette is writing naughty jokes about it. Meanwhile, Trump’s Iowa supporters are eating their traditional breakfast of Frosted Flakes covered with reserved ground beef fat, basking in the afterglow of the Trump rally last night, relieved to finally have a president who TELLS IT LIKE IT IS and SHOOTS STRAIGHT FROM THE HIP.

To read more about Trump’s Iowa rally, check out Maggie Haberman in the New York Times. Spoiler alert, but the whole thing was dumb as fuck.

Wonkette is funded by folks like you, because we ain’t got no ads! If you love us, click below to fund us!

[Vanity Fair]

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RELATED ARTICLESMORE FROM AUTHOR

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • Jeffocaster in the East

      For a minute I saw Putinfest……..

      • Msgr_MΩment

        That’s not gravy!

    • Joe Beese

      Too high a risk of Ted Cruz showing up.

      • theblackdog

        He’s more likely at the pillow factory looking for a new wife.

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Okay, I get it. He’s rich: he must have a brilliant mind.
    The way I see it, though, is He’s rich: he must be a money-grubbing greedy bastard.

    Potato, potahto (Oh, did I mention Poutinefest?)

  • memzilla Ω
  • Opalescent Riddles

    When it is said that Trump “says something dumb in Iowa” then the only new thing you can take away from that is that he’s in Iowa.

    • Oneofthebobs

      You can tell when he’s saying something stupid the same way you can tell that he’s lying. You know, his lips move.

  • Marceline

    Trump tells a room full of poor people why they suck and they cheer. These people are a lost cause.

    • msanthropesmr

      Yep

    • In retrospect, being called “deplorables” is almost quaint.

    • coozledad

      There isn’t a group of people in human history who has been more carefully sorted by their impulses and predispositions to slavery. And they eat that shit up.

      I’ve lived in close proximity to these people all my life, and I honestly can’t tell you what it is that makes them so happy to kiss ass. They’ve built a whole culture around self abasement.

    • Red Bird Ω

      And they believe in “The Lost Cause”.

  • Oblios_Cap
    • A Groucho Marxist

      This panel is funny because it makes it look like Trump and Melania share a bed.

      That is supposed to be Melania, right?

      • Oblios_Cap

        That, or KaC…

        • PubOption

          Jaw too small for KaC.

          • janecita

            English too good for Melania.

          • PubOption

            Must be Ivanka.

      • coozledad

        He even fails his Japanese sex robot.

  • Ennui There Yet

    Trump himself said it, “How stupid are the people of Iowa?”
    https://youtu.be/36fD-ssrbEs

    • Joe Beese

      This stupid, apparently.

    • janecita

      Extremely stupid.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • janecita

      Ewwwwww!!!!!!!

    • Spurning Beer

      “The ‘P’ is for ‘pee hooker’! WOO!”

  • memzilla Ω

    “When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: ‘Whose?'”
    — Don Marquis

  • Bill D. Burger
  • chascates

    Feb. 24, 2016, Trump in Nevada: ‘I love the poorly educated’. They’re still with him and aren’t any smarter.

  • Vincent Ricola

    These are the same type of people who spent a year telling me that I should give any kind of fuck about Hillary Clinton getting paid for a Goldman Sachs speech. Their cheers are hypocritical and were probably paid for at the door by John Barron.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Yeah but we really need to reach out to these people because of their economic anxiety.

  • Opalescent Riddles

    Every now and then when my wife and I are out driving, and we take a turn that sends us through a rich neighborhood, after we gawk at the big houses for a few minutes, one of us will remark, “what do these people DO to get all their money?”

    The response from the other is always “they fuck poor people.”

    • Rarely, if ever, is mass wealth accumulated without the exploitation of others somewhere in the economic chain of events.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Behind every great fortune lies a great crime…

        • Opalescent Riddles

          Or even if not a crime in the legal sense, at least a great fucking in the metaphorical sense.

    • Rags

      and go massively into debt. Like certain Predisents.

  • Ryan Denniston

    I hope somebody informs Trump that he was on CSPAN2, not CSPAN. He’ll infer that there was someone more important talking at that moment and start screaming at TVs again.

    • jesterpunk

      “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot right now.”

    • Opalescent Riddles

      CSPAN2, is that like Corinthians 2?

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    He used to like Standard & Poors til they downgraded his credit rating.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      Well, yuo can’t have poors in charge of credit ratings. What do they know about money?

  • Oblios_Cap

    I couldn’t stomach attending one of those rallies. Lethal levels of stupidity.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    So the idea of replacing Dem leadership in the house is starting to become more prevalent in the media. We’ve had Pelosi, Hoyer and Clyburn for it seems forever. I’m not saying I’m in favor of replacing the leadership, but I’m open to listening.

    • Oblios_Cap

      I wouldn’t mind seeing Hoyer go.

    • Joe Beese

      I seldom agree with John Cole, but he makes a good case here.

      This is about the recent dudebro outbreak of PELOSI GOTTA GO that has been driving me crazy since Ossoff didn’t pull off a miracle in Georgia. I don’t think there is ANYONE out there who disagrees with the fact that our leadership needs new blood. Our bench is weak and it needs to be reinvigorated. I’d like to see younger leadership.

      But what also matter is how we gain that new leadership. We don’t do it by shitting all over people like Pelosi, who has been an extraordinary leader in troubling times and I shudder to think how bad things would have been were she not in charge keeping the House Dems together. She’s spent her lifetime doing what is best for the country and the party, and when the time is right she will do the right thing.

      I can not say the same thing about certain independents and their crank followers who become Democrats only when it is convenient and then jump ship the moment they don’t get their fucking way. BTW- that health care bill we are rushing to save? It wouldn’t be there if it were not for Pelosi, and the assholes slagging her didn’t like the damned bill in the first place because it didn’t make us Sweden overnight.

      https://www.balloon-juice.com/2017/06/22/process-matters/

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        I can not say the same thing about certain independents and their crank
        followers who become Democrats only when it is convenient and then jump
        ship the moment they don’t get their fucking way.

        I wonder who THAT is in reference to. *wink* *wink*

        • Joe Beese

          I still can’t figure it out.

    • georgiaburning

      So, now that the battle is over, the non-participants get to bayonet the survivors?

  • Angela Ruzzo

    How stupid do Americans have to be to be repeatedly insulted and like it?

    • jesterpunk

      They did vote for Trump…

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I blame the lead in our water. I never drink water, so take THAT all you bottled water drinkers who are filing up landfills with plastic, and take THAT all you gastroenterologists who keep telling me to drink 8 glasses of water a day, which would force me to pee all night long.

        • Oblios_Cap

          Don’t drink water. Fish pee in that stuff.

        • janecita

          I’m afraid to ask, but what the hell do you drink?

          • C4TWOMAN

            I’m assuming it’s exaggeration for humorous effect. But yeah, you gotta drink something like water, juice, even small beer, to flush your kidneys….

          • Angela Ruzzo

            I am a lifelong abuser of carbonated beverages and coffee. They may hurt my digestive tract, but have not made any noticeable inroads on my I.Q. yet.

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          Allergic to water like Loretta King, huh?

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Not allergic, I just don’t like it. I did drink a lot of it when I was in Egypt, and it was good there on a hot day (they were all hot days). But I don’t normally live in a desert.

          • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

            Y’know there’s water in everything, right? ;)

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes, I know, which is why I see no reason to deliberately drink more of it.

    • Opalescent Riddles

      About as stupid as the average American. As George C. would remind us, half of them are even stupider.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • theblackdog

      I’m beginning to think Obama really should have said that breathing is important just so the GOP and Trump supporters could say “no it’s not” and then do everything possible to stop breathing.

      • data_ninja

        I thought they already did that in a roundabout way by backing the coal industry and pulling back environmental regulations?

        • theblackdog

          Yeah but now they’re going to take those of us who know that breathing is important down with them.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        You gave me an idea. Let’s propose that “having sex” gives you a pre-existing condition, cause you know how dangerous sex can be, what with people catching syphilis, gonorrhea, herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, vaginitis, viral hepatitis and HIV from it.

        • theblackdog

          They already try that with abstinence-only sex ed.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Yes, but those ads are aimed at teens. I’m talking about ALL SEX for ADULT WHITE MALE REPUBLICANS would be a pre-existing condition, including oral and anal sex, as well as sex with animals, and masturbation (the nuns told me this destroys your brain). Can you see the blood draining from their faces? I can see it.

            Viagra prescription? Definitely a pre-existing condition.

            Now let’s see…how can we add watching porn to the list of pre-existing conditions. . .?

          • theblackdog

            Oooh okay, this could have some hilarious results for them. Maybe make them wear mandatory mitts to bed.

        • Rags

          Existing is a preexisting condition.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      To quote Patton Oswalt: “The median IQ of this country is 100. That means half of America have IQs in the double digits.” Keep in mind that is 1 1/2 standard deviations away from qualifying as intellectually disabled.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Yes, I know, I studied this in high school and college Psychology classes. It’s amazing what people CAN do with double-digit IQ’s, and the courts obviously agree because they keep trying and sentencing people for crimes who have IQs of about 70. The police just love these people, because they can get them to confess to anything. And if they can’t manage that, they just shoot them. But only if they are black.

    • C4TWOMAN

      To be fair, it’s not “Americans” generally, just the 39% (?) polled who still approve of Trump.

      • SadDemInTex

        Let us not forget that Nixon had a 29% approval rating the day he resigned and it never went lower. I figure 1/3 of the voters are total fuckwits.

  • janecita

    They brought back one of his classics, he mentioned “crooked Hillary Clinton,” and the mob, I mean, the crowd, chanted, “lock her up.” The lack of knowledge/common sense, among these people is astonishing.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Pavlov’s dead dogs are disgusted by the mental weakness of these people.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Its’ times like these I want to troll them by calling their bluff.
      “Okay, we gotta lock her up–first step?”

      Because of course this won’t work, it will get embarrassing in short order.

      • therblig

        first step: well, we wanna lock her up! so, lock her up!!!

      • BearGHAZI

        Grab her by the suit of her pants, to start

      • GoutMachine

        Steal underpants?

    • Of course he brought up Hillary! We all need reminders that if Hillary had won, Goldman Sachs and other Wall Street firms would have too much influence, unlike Donald’s for-the-people, drain-the-swamp Presidency, with its proud reliance on billionaires from Goldman Sachs and other firms with direct financial interests in the policies enacted and regulations being killed.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Fuck this whole “Respect the President” thing. Go fuck yourself, you stupid treasonous shitbag. #NotMyPresidentAtAllEver https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/220f674cbc127fd18ecc9bff0aa91bc2d67026531cef1903f2b079408a8f1355.png

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I agree. He hates us and clearly doesn’t represent us, so what’s the point of saying he’s our president?

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Respect is earned. It is not given away.

      He has only earned my eternal contempt.

  • OddMan

    This would be the Wilber that says, ‘get em drunk and they will think this low paying factory job that will be gone in 4 years is great’.
    Repost
    https://twitter.com/DPAQreport/status/877218510576996352

    • Oblios_Cap

      What a deep-thinking rich fellow!

      Personally, when I ran out of money to pay for more drinks, I would think that maybe I wasn’t making enough.

    • h4rr4r

      Here is an idea, pay more and you will get workers.

      Supply and Demand, how does it motherfucking work?

      • PubOption

        The rich demand, and the poor supply.

    • janecita

      I think that these factory workers are really saying, “I can’t believe that I can only afford three beers, fuck this fucking factory!”

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Just like all Republican solutions, it’s not the core that needs changing (earning a living wage at a lasting job) it’s the trappings on the outside that need updating.

      Have a drink and some snax here at Not-Yet-AutomatedCo!

    • MizzMazz

      Swell. give ’em some drinks and then have them operate heavy machinery. Got it.

  • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

    The next motherfucking pundit who says Donnie is becoming “presidential” after giving some scripted, boilerplate speech should be boiled in oil. There is nothing – absolutely NOTHING – that this fucking buffoon could ever do or say that would make him remotely presidential. Julius Streicher would have had a better chance of becoming a rabbi than Donnie ever would of becoming presidential.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      This is why Van Jones is forever dead to me.

      • janecita

        I’m glad that I’m not the only one that feels that way.

  • Oblios_Cap

    We don’t know how to broach this subject, gentle Wonkers, but it seems President Donald Trump has said something stupid.

    Just one stupid thing? I’m not sure I believe that.

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    He could systematically rape their sisters while shitting in their mouths and his base would cheer.

    This is a cult. This is exactly what it is.

    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      And they’re all slurping up the borscht. With gusto.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        Only thing I can do from here on out is just say “fuck’em”. We can’t appeal to these people. We can’t rationalize these people. We risk our own mental health by trying to engage these people.

        When this is over, and one day it will be over, I’d like to have a tiny piece of sanity left.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Nah, they’d deny it happened or say it was consensual.
      But agree it’s a cult.

      • GoutMachine

        I think their bodies have a way of shutting it all down, anyway, so no harm no foul

    • Vagenda and Pee-ara

      Cult libelz!

    • Vincent Ricola

      Needz moar suicide vote pact.

    • Red Bird Ω

      Am I wrong for wanted to see that happen?

    • OddMan

      Some psychologist pundits say that these folks are so invested in trump that if he is wrong then they are wrong. Their worldview is so tied to trump, if he goes down then they feel that fall personally.
      Shrinks also say when folks finally realize they have been lied to, and some will, that the reaction will be rage. White hot rage.
      Interesting theory.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • theblackdog

    Wilbur Ross already revealed who he was when he sent out his non-discrimination policy statement to Commerce employees and excluded sexual orientation and gender identity until a very public outcry made him back off and revise that statement

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    “Fuck the poor!” Trump exclaimed.
    “Out of what?” Mnuchin and Ross giggled.

  • ez

    like the old saying goes (slightly revised) Mr Trump must love the poor as he and his minions are busy making more of them.

  • Bill D. Burger

    …and you have my undying love and support Comrade. I will carry you through all the tough time.

    http://drishtikone.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/Putin-Trump.jpg

  • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

    OT – Experimenting with new makeup:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9c4a67de97a6f25ce125990d8d0ecd35c149666348295f19cd93241273b32b28.jpg

    Have a good day, Everypony. :)

    • BosGrl

      Looking good! I like that lip color.

      • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

        Thanx! The upper lip is Perry Panther, the lower is Rimmel London 500, and the eyeshadow are from Nyx.

        • BosGrl

          Thank you! Going out to get the Rimmel today :D

          • Anna E Killsright, Agent KELLY

            :D I adore Rimmel London. They last all day, color on one tip and Gloss on the other, I buy a lot of shades from them. :)

  • MynameisBlarney
  • Villago Delenda Est

    “Promises made, promises kept”

    What a fucking joke.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Bub, Zombie of the Resistance

      STFU Paul. There’s a sinkful of clean pots down at the homeless shelter. Go make yourself “useful.”

    • Stulexington

      It only didn’t work because those meddling Democrats made us attach strings to try to force it to be spent correctly, We need to just give money to the rich and trust that the rich have our best interests at heart.

    • Marsupial99

      “Obviously, we didn’t give them enough last time!”

  • C4TWOMAN

    So, that sign, ‘promises made, promise kept’….which promises are these? The promise to be an incompetent, treasonous Russian shill? because I don’t remember that one.

    • Bill D. Burger

      His ‘major’ piece of legislation so far has been a bill designating the new courthouse in Nashville TN be named for the late fellow pseudo-celebrity Fred Thompson.

    • Vincent Ricola

      The promise that he could shoot someone on 5th avenue and his merry band of dipshits would still support him?

      • Darlene Underdahl

        The minds of some Americans are so corrupted by RW media that there’s no hope for them. I won’t help them and I won’t even deal with them. “Trump voters.” Said with disgust.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Illusions
      Of
      White
      Americans

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Never pay attention to the signs. They’re just passed out to the people they vet for these things. They only hold them up to get on camera. None of them care what anything means anymore.

      Words mean nothing. They’re as fluid as mercury and can be molded into whatever they want. It’s serious delusion and we are witnessing mass hysteria.

      • Bill D. Burger
        • Joe Beese

          He seems more pleased about it than he should be.

          • Doug Langley

            Fun fact: Serling loved writing but hated giving those intros. He was horribly nervous. Directors would have to trick him by pretending they were doing a rehearsal instead of actually filming him.

      • Vincent Ricola
      • C4TWOMAN

        Huh. If I was going to a rally and given a sign I didn’t exactly support, I would ask for another one or give it to someone else.

        (yes, Trumpsters, its possible to support a candidate without agreeing with everything or outright lying about stuff. If you lot could at least demand he properly address working class issues, you wouldn’t be so horrid)

        • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

          It’s clear that they do not care. They’re part of this sick American society that thinks being on television is a goal. It doesn’t matter WHY they get on TV, it just matters that they’re “stahz!” for a few seconds.

          This is why we have so much reality TV and so little good TV. People are willing to be sociopaths so long as it will get them some screen time.

          Yog help us all.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      The way I looked at that, it’s not so much of a sign the dude believes in as it is a modesty cover for that Iowan’s tumtum being featured prominently on all the newscasts.

    • OddMan

      ROBERT REICH: TRUMP’S 13 BROKEN PROMISES (SO FAR)
      http://www.newsweek.com/robert-reich-trumps-thirteen-broken-promises-so-far-582342

      Tracking Trump’s Campaign Promises
      http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/promises/trumpometer/

      Even The Daily Caller.
      Every Promise President Trump Has Broken That Candidate Trump Made
      http://dailycaller.com/2017/04/29/every-promise-president-trump-has-broken-that-candidate-trump-made/

      • Rags

        This works about as well as the ads pointing out his lies during the campaign.

  • GreyWolfSC

    Is zombie Ayn Rand writing Trump?

    • Doug Langley

      Even Rand wouldn’t have anything to do with Primma Donnie. She would have swung a baseball bat into his family jewels the moment he said women should be punished for abortion.

  • All together now:

    Trump appealing to working-class Americans, ladies and gentlemen.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Keep you doped with religion and sex and TV
      And you think you’re so clever and classless and free
      But you’re still fucking peasants as far as I can see
      A working class hero is something to be

  • MrTusks

    Do we really need the middle of the country any more? We just need to secure the ocean borders, and all the food can come from California and Monsanto.

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      Some of us live there.

      • TJ Barke

        We’ll pay your bus fare.

        • House0fTheBlueLights

          Some of us like it here.

          • TJ Barke

            Stockholm syndrome.

          • texcynical

            Can’t afford to move.

          • House0fTheBlueLights

            Who– you, or us?

          • TJ Barke

            Yes.

        • Bananas Foster

          The problem isn’t the geography. It’s the people. There are some amazing places not on the coasts.

          Admit we never should have included Texas in the Union, and then give all the Trump voters the bus fare to AnywhereButAustin.

          • chortlingdingo

            Austin ain’t the only liberal city in Texas, it’s just the loudest.

          • Bananas Foster

            Reverse commute bus tickets for non-Trump voters in Texas.

    • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

      It’s all prime coastal real estate of the future.

      • Doug Langley

        If only Lex Luthor had just waited . . .

      • cleos_mom

        Buy some waterfront property in Tallahassee while you can.

    • OddMan

      I grew up in a small town in New Mexico that made Iowa look like a bastion of liberal progressives.
      Nice place to visit, but . . . I moved as far away as I could the day after I got out of HS, joined the Navy.

    • cleos_mom

      Yes, we truly need the educated and enlightened states of Alabama and Mississippi to make the Republic healthy again. If it comes to a choice, preserve them and their voters at all costs.

      • MrTusks

        I’m sure somebody at some point though there was a use for Missouri but gee willikers I can’t guess what it might have been.

        • Dudleydidwrong

          Missouri keeps Iowa and Arkansas from smashing into each other, an act that would bring about an explosion of stupidity that would surely end life on this planet. Critical Dumbass is a greater force than any critical mass condition known to physics.

  • TJ Barke
  • nightmoth

    Glad you noted this—I just read it in mainstream media. My mother, in a bitter moment, once said that there was no such thing as an honest rich man. She was overstating the case, but the older I get, the more I see the truth of that. Also, if any of you are darts players, here’s a suitable target image from this Iowa rally. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8a6812f915ab14a96751655f93cb93dbb8f317166f1931818edd3f55c0a59ff7.jpg

    • SeeTrain65

      Talking about either his brain or his dick at the time. Can’t tell which.

      Oh, I know … BOTH.

      • nightmoth

        The article said he was asking the crowd if they’d want someone “with THIS much money in the bank” to run the economy.

    • h4rr4r

      Seen above Trump brags about the size of his penis.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      I was ranked 4th in the Rocky Mountain Darts Association half a lifetime ago. Guarantee I could have grouped three in his piehole back then.

      • OddMan

        So you are really TheGrandWazoo2The4th?
        Lots better than being odd.

    • BosGrl

      This is the world’s smallest violin, America, and it’s playing just for you.

    • Stulexington

      Camels and needles.

  • Dr. Rrrrrobotnik

    Ok, I’m an attorney that has worked in class actions involving investment banks, so I not only have associated with banking and investment types but also read their correspondence and seen how they make their money.

    On the whole, my impression is pretty simple. These. People. Are. Idiots.

    Not just idiots, they’re arrogant, crass, blind idiots who think they’re awesome. Young and old, experienced or not, these are people who swim in a system designed by people far more intelligent than them, which essentially makes money for them with minimal input. When you start with phenomenal amounts of money it’s incredibly easy to make more, especially when the rules are rigged towards people who have been in the game a while and can just insider trade *cough* I mean ask around for what the market trend is going to be. And because they make tons of money and party with socialites and models, these people think they’re BRILLIANT.

    FFS people, being rich doesn’t make you smart. Even *becoming* rich doesn’t make you smart, by and large it just means you were lucky. And it sure as hell doesn’t make you qualified to run a governmental department.

    • Fennec

      I’m not a lawyer but I concur. The stupidity is beyond astounding.

  • calliecallie

    OT, but I am off work today and reading Twitter feed has sent me into a stabby rage. I just sent an email to Mitch McConnell, who I hate very, very much right now. I controlled myself, though. Surprised, honestly, that I could get an email to him through his account, since I’m not in Kentucky. Can’t do that with Paul Ryan.
    Fuck these fucking motherfuckers with a hot blow torch of votes.

    • Bill D. Burger

      …..and the prickly pear pitchfork of votes ___ sideways.

    • Joe Beese

      Dear Reichsführer Himmler,

      I must strongly object to the proposal to establish extermination camps throughout Germany and the occupied territories.

  • Joe Beese

    Meanwhile:

    Hundreds of men swept up in the hunt for al-Qaida militants have disappeared into a secret network of prisons in southern Yemen where abuse is routine and torture extreme — including the “grill,” in which the victim is tied to a spit like a roast and spun in a circle of fire, an Associated Press investigation has found.

    Senior American defense officials acknowledged Wednesday that U.S. forces have been involved in interrogations of detainees in Yemen but denied any participation in or knowledge of human rights abuses. Interrogating detainees who have been abused could violate international law, which prohibits complicity in torture.

    https://apnews.com/4925f7f0fa654853bd6f2f57174179fe/US-interrogates-detainees-in-Yemen-prisons-rife-with-torture

    Who could have known where those burn marks came from?

    • BosGrl

      Dear God.

    • MynameisBlarney

      This is beyond fucked up.

    • Stulexington

      I can’t even bring myself to snark about this. I had one lined up too and I just can’t. I mean I’ve been painfully aware of the “it’s only bad for others to do it” attitude of US officials in everything but especially anything to do with the military but it’s still horrifying to see it once again.

    • Jon Sussex

      Not so different, really, to what happened to Marcia Powell in a cage at Perryville Prison in AZ.

    • Doug Langley

      Giving new meaning to “they grilled me”.

  • MynameisBlarney

    Leaked footage of secret Republican meeting on turmpcare.

    https://www.democraticunderground.com/1017445180

  • Joe Beese

    Kick it to ’em, Chuck.

    … what am I supposed to do when so many of my fellow citizens guzzle snake oil by the gallon and call it champagne? …

    If a substantial portion of our fellow citizens are going to cheer wildly at this stuff, and even more wildly at the endless recitation of his personal grievances that always accompanies the vaporous policy proposals, then there is nothing you can do to change their minds. Circumstances will have to do that. The new Republican healthcare bill, for example. But I am not confident that the damage that bill will do can’t be successfully spun out in the country as the fault of Democratic “obstructionists” and/or the alleged failure of Barack Obama. I don’t mean to be critical but we can’t go on like this much longer.

    http://www.esquire.com/news-politics/politics/news/a55808/trump-rally-poor-people-solar-wall/

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Evan that New York Times/Maggie Haberman link goes to Media-ite, with no link to NYT in the articles?

  • Bananas Foster

    Trump: I love all women. Rich women. Poor women. Ugly women. Beautiful women.

    But, when it comes to marriage, I only want to fuck my daughter.

    ———-

    Hm. I guess that’s not quite the same thing.

  • BadKitty904

    Well, the Traitor-in-Chief chose to speak in Iowa for a reason. Let’s see him make the same speech in a blue state…

    • Master Contrail Program

      Iowa. I realize it’s a distinction without a difference at times.

  • fawkedifiknow

    It truly is a special kind of dumb, not to know you’ve just been insulted.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Literally too stupid to insult.

      • texcynical

        Let’s try anyway.

  • Gee, Your Hair Smells Horrific

    Enjoy this “shit-not-hitting-the-fan-yet” period, Donald. Not having a FEMA director nominated before hurricane season starts might end up being the least of your problems.

    • Fennec

      I’m hoping some of our red state coastal friends realize that trump and the gop are the reason they won’t be able to rebuild their lives after hurricane season…. Which global warming will certainly make worse….. But that’s assuming that any of his supporters are able to apply even a modicum of critical thinking to life.

      • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

        If they were able to apply a modicum of critical thinking to life, they’d never have been his supporters in the first place.

      • Stulexington

        I’m thinking they’ll switch to “we’re in the middle of a crisis, now is not the time to assign blame” mode.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      Cindy is already hitting us hard. Flash flooding, tornados, already one confirmed death and it’s just getting warmed up.

    • Stulexington

      “at least I had one” -Bush.

  • nightmoth

    I hope they have a lottery in Iowa, because these are the people who feed it.

  • Kiri the Unicorn

    Okay, I think I can add another word to this alliteration that I’ve been working on in the garage:

    Putative President* Potemkin Putinpuppy Pussygrabber. Auf Ulm.

    • Stulexington

      Prexactly.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      That’s an awful lot of alliteration.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        But is it a lot of awful alliteration?

        *shrugs and resumes banging away at it with a large hammer*

      • Doug Langley

        I’ll have to give it to the other teacher who does the English class. She loves giving the kids tongue twisters.

    • Master Contrail Program

      Pravda Puppetry

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Needs more umlauts!

  • Wild Cat

    Hopefully they’ll be so poor they’ll be pulling corn fragments out of their own excrement and feeding it to their spawn.

  • Doug Langley

    I seem to recall a President and his Secretary of State who were born into modest means but earned their way into wealth. I’m sure Trump and his supports would be all for them, right?

    • Fennec

      Apparently if you start as a poor and 180 k a year is seen as a comfortable salary regardless of your experience now.

    • tomamitai

      They all believe that Obama got ahead because of affirmative action and Hillary killed her way to power. I mean that literally, and so do they.

  • BMW

    Mr. Show will gladly explain Trump’s thinking to us…
    https://youtu.be/ScJSeUIxydA

    • UnsaltedSinner

      It’s the ponytail that makes it great art.

  • x111e7thst

    kill me now

    • Fennec

      Sorry but we need you to vote against these jerks in 2018 and 2020 so please stay alive.

  • Master Contrail Program

    Guess we know the signs that’ll be passed around during the next Trump Stump in corn country. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a2e43c63b5f8525fa10933f0c3e101ff1ce615b04b24ce005c5901a3c51384ee.jpg

    • tomamitai

      That’s too subtle for Cheetolini’s base, they probably think it’s a dick/pussy joke.

  • TJ Barke
  • Jennifer R

    It’s going to be 108 according to my phone today and people are coming into replace a broken window. Also I need to go to the store at some point unless I plan on living off of watermelon and garlic and herb cream cheese.

    • Stulexington

      Two great tastes that probably taste really horrid together.

      • BigCSouthside

        I learned recently that chili powder on watermelon is awesome

        • Stulexington

          I find myself both disgusted and intrigued.

          • MizzMazz

            No, it’s good! If you have a Mexican market in your town, they sell this awesome chili-limon salt which is nice on melon, but also popcorn, if you are into those flavors. Also good to rim a Bloody Mary glass.

    • Rick Hill

      Turn your phone upside down, read it, say “Holy shist!” then turn it rightside up and you’ll breath a sigh of relief that it’s only 108. See? Beccas not the only one who can give great advices!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Things haven’t changed much…

    In those years after the Civil War, a man named Russell Conwell, a graduate of Yale Law School, a minister, and author of best-selling books, gave the same lecture, “Acres of Diamonds,” more than five thousand times to audiences across the country, reaching several million people in all. His message was that anyone could get rich if he tried hard enough, that everywhere, if people looked closely enough, were “acres of diamonds.” A sampling:

    I say that you ought to get rich, and it is your duty to get rich…. The men who get rich may be the most honest men you find in the community. Let me say here clearly .. . ninety-eight out of one hundred of the rich men of America are honest. That is why they are rich. That is why they are trusted with money. That is why they carry on great enterprises and find plenty of people to work with them. It is because they are honest men. …

    … I sympathize with the poor, but the number of poor who are to be sympathised with is very small. To sympathize with a man whom God has punished for his sins … is to do wrong…. let us remember there is not a poor person in the United States who was not made poor by his own shortcomings. …

    • Stulexington

      And I know this because I’m a grifting grifter getting rich by making poor people poorer.

    • Rick Hill

      “And it’s easy. All you have to do is to hold seminars charging $500 a seat and tell people what they want to hear. It’s a sweet gig, and completely honest! I swear!”

    • Thorn Spike

      It goes back way farther than that; it’s the medieval belief that beauty and wealth = God’s favor = good.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Thank you for bringing Conwell (and history!!) into the discussion. Today’s “prosperity gospel” shouters are in Conwell’s lineage. As is Drumpf. It both justifies their greed and gives them permission to continue with it.

  • BigCSouthside

    They also applauded a solar powered border wall. Trump got bumfuckistan to embrace green energy.

    Just proof that if you say enough racist shit, you can get the rubes to go along with anything.

  • UnsaltedSinner

    It’s worth noting that even very successful and competent business people are frequently incredibly stupid when it comes to the national economy, which is very different from the economics of running a company.

    • gene108

      They are like anyone, who is super specialized in a field, but not very smart outside of it.

      • ziggywiggy

        Almost like hiring a brain surgeon to be the secretary of HUD.

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    Trump also claimed he signed contracts for 100’s of billions of dollars with those rich mid east countries. We’re rolling in the dough as we speak! You get a job, and you get a job, and you, over there, you get two jobs. A is G A!

  • gene108

    It is interesting how the super-rich view money versus the rest of us.

    $180k a year is a good chunk of change for most folks.

    But like Mitt Romney said, at $250k you’re basically just middle-class (or was it lower middle-class, I forget). At 180K you’re living in poverty.

    Money for these guys is just a mathematical abstraction. It has no meaning regarding being able to provide for your needs, such as “I need ‘x’ dollars to buy milk and bread this week”. That sort of thinking just isn’t there. There’s no connection between money and the need to have it to get milk and bread this week.

    Money is just some abstraction to be manipulated via different investments. That’s all it is to these people. And they have bought the Republican Party to do their bidding.

    • tomamitai

      Their money does all their work for them, which is why they resent having to pay taxes on it. Plus they’re greedy pricks.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      Someone once defined money as “the ability to demand and receive goods and services.” These folks are all into demanding and receiving and money is just another vehicle for doing that. These “leaders” who sacrificed their lives for a year or so to “serve” aren’t giving up a damn thing any more than Drumpf is giving up anything. Fuck ’em all.

  • Thorn Spike

    Oops, meant to reply to Oblios_Cap.

    • Oblios_Cap

      Money will get you times with no beauty better than beauty will get you through times with no money.

      Believe me, I know. At least about the second part.

  • freakishlypersistent

    “This is an example of the fundamental difference between a liberal and a conservative: I do not support a livable wage

    She won. They’re brainwashed.

    • Lefty Wright

      No, just that the majority of voters in that district don’t give a fuck about a livable wage. Or poor people getting health insurance. They make twenty times or more what minimum wage is and have a secure, highly subsidized health insurance from their company.

  • BigCSouthside

    OT- CNBC says there’s enough GOP senators to tell The AHCA to fuck right off

    • Oblios_Cap

      Huzzah!, if true.

    • beingreleased

      I’m sure they’ll convince McConnell to change the font, declare victory, and vote for it.

      • BigCSouthside

        Right

        • mary5920

          There’s another theory floating about that McConnell deliberately made a horrible version of the bill so that it wouldn’t pass and he could move on to his tax cut by other means.
          I don’t know which version of this to believe but McConnell is playing dreadful human being to the hilt, in any case.

          • Every bill McConnell gets his hands on is deliberately made horrible.

          • Old town Urbandale

            My fear is that when the vote’s taken, there will be the three Republican “no” votes necessary to sink the bill, but some asshat Demo like Joe Manchin will cross over and allow Pence to cast the winning vote.

          • mailman27

            He was born for it- the role of a lifetime.

    • canes_pugnaces

      That was always the plan. Make it fail and blame it on the Dems.

  • Ilgattomorte

    So let’s recap.

    THE THINGS DONALD TRUMP LOVES:
    Poor people, Rich people, Poorly educated people,
    Russians, “his” African-American

    THE THINGS DONALD TRUMP DOESN’T LOVE:
    James Comey, The Media, Crooked Hillary Clinton,
    Rosie O’Donnell, Soldiers who get captured, Liberals,
    Scottish people who won’t sell their land, ISIS, Lyin’ Ted Cruz (sometimes),
    any African-American who isn’t “his” African-American …

    … actually let’s just say, everyone else. My fingers are getting tired.

  • Lefty Wright

    Yeah, it never occurred to these hicks that these billionaires are setting the system up so they can double their wealth when they step down in a couple of years. For now, they are taking one for the team in game six in expectation of winning it all by the end of the season. And pass every penny down to their heirs.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And I love all people, rich or poor, but in those particular positions, I just don’t want a poor person. Does that make sense? Does that make sense?

    It does if you want to use poor people’s resentment of The Other to make them vote for people who will enact policies that favor rich people, while telling poor people that their woes are caused by said Others…

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Oops, I meant to use the American flag “Bitch please” image. Oh well, here’s hoping Adam Schiff doesn’t object to this message.

  • beingreleased

    Look – I don’t hire people who are unemployed. I’m mean, if they’re so great, why don’t they have a fucking job?

  • mary5920

    Listening to NPR last week, there was a segment about Dump’s ICE deportations. One of the deportees was a Michigan man who was brought here as a young child from Iraq. He has run several successful businesses and is a solid citizen and business owner; yet he’s being targeted for deportation.
    This man voted for Drumpf and when asked if he would still vote for him, he said he would! Because he agrees with Dump’s business ideas or something.
    This is how incredibly strange the mind can be.

    • Bananas Foster

      This doesn’t work. Either he was voting illegally, or he was a citizen and not eligible to be deported.

    • Lefty Wright

      Yeah, when the out of work coal miners lose Medicaid, they will still vote for the Republicans that voted to cut them off. Because Trump cares about them.

    • cleos_mom

      In that context, his deportation would be a truly patriotic actoid.

  • TundraGrifter

    For Surgeon General of the United States did President Trump nominate someone dying of cancer?

    • Bananas Foster

      Probably someone currently under general anesthesia.

      • eyelashviper

        that describes most of the WH staff and his entire cabinet.

      • TundraGrifter

        Nah – that was HUD.

    • Mavenmaven

      He appointed someone who doesn’t believe in cancer

    • Alexander Stallwitz

      I would bet money he would nominate a tabacco executive or the ceo of a chemical plant.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    This just in: Genetics expert Moira McTaggert has estimated that up to 50% of Iowa Trumpkins are mutant corn stalks that have learned to mimic a sort of primitive sentience.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Well that certainly will make the state fair more interesting.

      • Old town Urbandale

        Mutant corn stalks? And here I was going to blame pig fucking.

        • unclejeems

          That would be Georgia.

    • Dudleydidwrong

      And another keyboard bites the dust!

  • I don’t pretend to be a genius, but if I were a rich man who hated taxes and regulations because they prevented me from grifting even more money off of stupid marks, I would take a government job for a year or two, dismantle the state so it couldn’t stop me from ripping people off, and then return to my lucrative job at Goldman Sachs engineering the next worldwide financial disaster so I could profit off of it and finally buy myself a nice little volcano lair with sharks with friggin’ laser beams on their head.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Are you sure you wouldn’t be there as a voice for the forgotten working man? I thought that’s why they took such a big temporary pay cut.

      • Opalescent Riddles

        Yeah, one would have to state that as the reason for performing this “service.” It would keep the masses more complacent, even complicit in said dismantling.

  • generalelectrik

    Orchestrating the fall of the house of Trump is not very smart. The RICO statutes will ultimately blast these sorry grifters into some uncomfortable zip codes, where they will be forced to intermingle with the untouchables.

  • marxalot

    Puuuuuuuuuuke

  • mardam422

    Jeebus himself made everyone at teh Sermon on the Mount rich with just one tax cut and two shares of AT&T.

  • FauxAntocles

    Rich people have convinced the Rethug base that liberals are the Enemy – fortunately for rich people, the Rethug base is incredibly gullible.

  • Rags

    I fear that he is going to show up at one of these in a 6 star general’s uniform. And declare martial law to rid us of these meddlesome non-human liberals.

  • Mavenmaven

    Yes, please, screw us over more, we’ll take it for The Team!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    Anyone who thinks the CEO is the smartest guy in the company has never been anywhere near corporate executives.

    Anyone who thinks any human could “earn” tens of millions of dollars in one year just by being smart and hard working doesn’t understand how much “tens of millions” really is.

    • Regret

      Numbers are hard for most people.
      People are also hard for most people.

  • Belasaurius

    man, they’ll keep cheering right up to the moment they die from an easily preventable disease.
    scene
    *morbidly obese man lays in filthy hospital room* “fucking libruls, praise Daddy T.
    *dies*

    • Bananas Foster

      Hospital room? Not likely.

      • cleos_mom

        More like the extra bedroom everybody used to use to store stuff they weren’t ready to throw away yet.

  • OneYieldRegular

    Jesus.

    I mean Jesus literally. You certainly wouldn’t want that impecunious, sandal-wearing, long-haired hippie handling the economy.

    • Rick Hill

      If they want to run this country by the bible, does that mean they’ll start adhering to it? Do for the least among you and such.

  • eyelashviper

    Dear Leader has such a busy schedule and keeping up with stuff is so hard…who knew?

    http://www.suprmchaos.com/linda1_062217.jpg

  • RobKanC

    But Hillary would sell the country to Wall Street. Man, the dumb people in this country are something else.

    • Rick Hill

      Yeah but donnies giving it away for free. Big diff

    • tomamitai

      The greatest trick the republicans ever pulled was convincing Americans that all politicians are liars and thieves. Once you believe that, it sort of makes sense to vote for the biggest crook and hope that he will lie and steal on your behalf, as well as his, so that you’ll keep sending him back to the chow line. Democrats used to do this too, also, and were competitive, but then they had to go and get morals and spoil it all.

    • SpideySenser

      SOP, Projection.

  • “Promises Made | Promises Kept”

    Are they putting fentanyl in Maid-Rites nowadays?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6a78521308e6f5c2c25c040bdd5f5706ec770902294ca31685b2af7d72d28c2b.png

  • canes_pugnaces

    Going to see Julius Cesar in the park tonight. Wondering if the outrage machine will be there. Or are they all licking their orange popsicles?

    • tomamitai

      Well if Cernovich is still offering cash money for their machinations, I’m sure they’ll be machinating. Or maybe even if he isn’t, since they seem to be getting even more money from their crowd sourced “defense funds”. Who knew being an asshole paid so well?

    • SpideySenser

      Jealous! I’m in BOS – would love to go just for the outrage!

  • Swampay

    Huh, funny. I seem to remember him claiming that Clinton was evil because she consorts with bankers. Weird.

    • canes_pugnaces

      I remember his fans saying Clinton was evil specifically because of GS; in fact, I remember them chanting lock her up for that line. Must be a different Goldman.

      • AnnieGetYerFun

        Yes, yes, that was Gouldman-Sax.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        That was those Jewy Goldman Sachs. Trump has different, not-Jewy Goldman Sachs.

  • Ricky Gay

    “The stupid you will always have with you.”

    • cleos_mom

      Including, but not limited to, the Trumpanzees and Bernsteins.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    I thought Goldman Sachs were corrupt Wall Streeters, at least that was the line when they were losing their shit about Hillary doing a talky-thingy to them.

    Also too, as a not too long ago (and probably still, relatively speaking) Poor, I can tell you that it’s people with means who are kind of shitty at managing money things. I don’t know too many middle income people who’ve blown millions/billions/trillions of dollars and bankrupted themselves several times over. Missed a bill or credit card payment, or defaulted on loan during financial duress maybe but never with the extravagance of, say, bankrupting a casino and putting people out of work.

    Fuck rich people. Unlike petty thieves who can fuck me over in the short-term, those Goldman Sach’s types can fuck me over for the rest of my life.

    • Regret

      Fun fact:
      Jan Peter Balkenende, Former Prime minister of the Netherlands (2002-2010) from the largest Christian party, had a great proposal.
      No public leader/manager may earn more than 130% of a minister.
      That was brought into law.

      The logical next step was never taken though: No-one should be allowed to earn more than that. I would love to see a maximum on income for bankers and similar filth.

      I did hear some talk about limiting the highest salary in a company to 15 times the lowest salary from the socialist party, that could have some fun effects. It won’t happen though, there is not enough political will to do something like that.

    • desida

      Seriously, re money. I grew up very poor and spent much of my adult life that way as well, while my husband has been upper middle class his entire life. He can be disturbingly stupid with money sometimes, because he’s never really had to worry about it, whereas the tiniest mistake can fuck you up when you’re regularly in a position where it’s two days to payday and you only have $7.36 in the bank. Which is not to say that poor people can’t have bad money habits – I continue to have a bad tendency towards ignoring bills longer than I should, left over from the days when I knew I wouldn’t be able to pay them all anyway – but I don’t think I’ve ever met a person who has experienced poverty who fritters away money the way all of the better-off people I’ve known do at least occasionally. I can only imagine how much easier it can be to be cavalier about spending when, like many rich people and especially investment bankers, the money isn’t really yours anyway. But no, let’s totally apply that mindset to running the country! It’ll go great!

  • Bananas Foster

    When I look at that “Promises” sign, I clearly see:

    Promises Made
    ——————-
    Promises Kept

    Perhaps whoever designed this sign was sending a subtle signal that these two things were clearly different, and literally had to draw a line between them.

    • alpacapunchbowl
    • Yellerduck

      I see it as a ratio with a limit rapidly approaching infinity.

    • Dividing by zero is a no-no.

      • Pilotshark

        my zero to your power of ten equals
        nothing at all.
        just one white duck on the wall.

        Jethro Tull

  • SayItWithWookies

    Did Assmouth also mention that time when he fired an accountant because, as he said, “I don’t want black people counting my money – I want Jews counting my money?” I’ll bet that anecdote always kills at rallies too.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    One of those young ladeez behind him will be Mrs. Donald J. Trump IV.

    • Me not sure

      The incessant gum chewing will be good practice.

  • crisptickle

    The crotches of the real merkins behind fanta hitler, which we are forced to look up into, really round this out nicely.

    • BJW

      Hey! I’m already having nausea issues!

  • La forza del resistino

    FDR’s Sec of Labor, Frances Perkins was responsible for the U.S. adoption of social security, unemployment insurance, federal laws regulating child labor, and adoption of the federal minimum wage.

    Outside a brief teaching paycheck, she never made a dime in the private sector, Donald.

    • TakingAmes

      Which is the precise reason we have to roll all that back. Clearly she didn’t know what she was doing.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I ain’t want that social security or unemployment or minimum wage, not for THOSE PEOPLE! THEY ain’t getting it! That don’t concern ME! I’m RICH! Trump says so!

  • Bitter Scribe

    And of course everyone there forgot how he slammed Ted Cruz’s wife for having worked for Goldman Sachs.

    As long as idiots vote, democracy will never work.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      I had forgotten about that. I think my rage bucket is filled to overflowing.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      I know. They’re literally too stupid to be allowed to vote. It’s horrifying.

    • SpideySenser

      Perhaps a review every 10 years or so in civics (CERTIFIED!) should be required. Certainly beats the shit out of the original land holding, slave owning white male criteria.

  • Blackest Noobs

    the space aliens hiding in my basement just asked ” Do we eat the President now, no?”
    i dunno how much longer i can keep them at bay, they’re salivating like cra-cra for some cra-cra white meat.

    • SisterArtemis

      I say turn them loose and let nature take its course

      • Dudleydidwrong

        Just make sure there’s plenty of Pepto-Bismol handy. They’ll need it and will thank you profusely for providing it.

      • SpideySenser

        I say turn them loose and let ɴ̶̷̲̅ᴀ̶̷̲̅ᴛ̶̷̲̅ᴜ̶̷̲̅ʀ̶̷̲̅ᴇ̶̷̲̅ the market take it’s course.

    • BJW

      If only!

  • Grokenstein
    • SpideySenser

      AKA affirmative action for white males and sometimes daughters.

  • PixieThis

    I don’t think I will ever, in my lifetime, forgive the people who voted for trump, libertarian loser guy and the moron stein (completing the trifecta of STUPID). THIS IS YOUR FUCKING FAULT – THE ABUSE OF HEALTHCARE, THE LACK OF QUALIFIED PEOPLE TAKING JOBS WITH THIS ADMINISTRATION, THE WAY WE LOOK IN THE WORLD. All.On.YOU!

    • lunar62

      My son was a Bernie guy who voted for some obscure socialist. We’ve agreed not to talk about politics to keep the peace. He rants about the evil of “incremental change” and hates Obamacare because it should have been a single payer plan.

      Funny thing is he lost his job and health insurance before the election. I had a hard time talking him into signing up for Obamacare, which he finally did about an hour before the final sign-up deadline. He just had an ER stay that’s going to cost a couple thousand and also developed a problem which will require surgery – plus he was born with some serious health problems that are under control for now fortunately. Obamacare is saving his ass but he still hates it because it’s not “perfect”. Some people live in a bubble I guess.

    • Regret

      This wouldn’t be a problem if you didn’t have a winner-takes-all system.
      Spread the power and multiple parties become a valid option.
      The Trump would have had less than half of the power, Clinton would have a similar amount, Bernie would have had some power, and even Stein could have gotten one vote.
      Then Clinton, Bernie, and Stein could work together on most things and Trump would have been an ineffective, though large, minority.

      But never mind me, I’m just someone who believes that politicians should learn to cooperate by being forced to cooperate before they can achieve anything.

      • If we had a unicameral government with a Grand General Assembly, maybe. But we don’t. We have two houses in Congress, with delegations from each state. You’ve got three levels of government at the national level to vote for. You can mix up the party affiliations there.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    I don’t count myself as rich, but I do have a comfortable retirement savings account. How did it become comfortable, you ask? It almost doubled while Bill Clinton was POTUS. Stayed flat while Dubya was POTUS. And waaaay more than doubled while Barack Hussein Obama was destroying the American economy.

    (It has also increased a little since Little Babby Donnie took office.)

  • AnnieGetYerFun

    They are rich business people who gave up the riches to be in government? Doesn’t that make them bad at deciding the things?

  • Panika MCD

    a) wasn’t there a parable about a camel passing through the eye of a needle? a needle eye that was really the nickname of a gate into a city that the camels would have to doff their wealthy riders and shuffle through on their knees to get through? I seem to remember something about that.

    b) if there is anyone who should not be shooting from the hip, it is Tsarina Short Fingers. I mean, I don’t even know if he knows what part of the body that is and he’d misfire right into his knee cap and then we’d all have to pay for his recovery.

    • Lord Jim

      “But woe to you who are rich,
      for you have received your consolation.
      “Woe to you who are full now,
      for you will be hungry.
      “Woe to you who are laughing now,
      for you will mourn and weep. – Luke 6:24-5 NRSV

  • MOG253

    All those Dumb-gasms. Ugh, the mental picture of all them Iowans, making crazy love last night while chanting “Make America Great Again”, is sooo stuck in my head. Many babies were made that night and later rose up to slay their Trumpkin parents.

  • CeeQ

    Easiest long con ever.

  • Lord Jim

    1) By your reasoning, Drumpf, shouldn’t you have nominated an Education secretary who had experience working in public education?

    2) What the fuck could “Drain the swamp” possibly mean in the context of appointing rich fat cats to influential govt’ positions?

    Logic. How does it fucking work?!

    • phoenix00

      1) Nah, all you need is a rich person like DeVos! They just do the money thing and all the kids get educated!

  • 3FingerPete

    Do you know who really disapproves of these wasteful trips on the taxpayer’s dime?
    https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/522108442514038784

  • William

    Hey remember when Donald went to Iowa and answered his own question? https://youtu.be/36fD-ssrbEs

    • HandsOfFate

      Don’t you hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.

  • squidkid

    Donald Trump, a lesson in brainwashing.

  • harryeagar

    Iowa is next to Nebraska, which was represented by Roman Hruska who famously said the Supreme Court needed a mediocre justice to represent the mediocre people.

    There’s a lot of ’em out there

    • Whollyholeyholy

      Holy yes. I’ve spent more time in Nebraska than most people who don’t live there. He should know, because it specifically consists of gray microwave meatloaf level mediocrity.

  • (((fka_donnie_d)))

    They did “insist” genius, by electing a guy that promised to drain the swamp.

  • Hardly Ideal

    A certain line from Bioshock comes to mind:

    These sad saps. They come to Rapture thinking they’re gonna be captains of industry, but they all forget that somebody’s gotta scrub the toilets.

    • @MrsRazor66

      I just replayed 1 a few weeks ago. One of my favorite game series…

  • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

    “Golly gee, that gubmint thing is HARD, and involves money stuff, so we need RICH PEOPLE to run it, because ever’one knows that RICH PEOPLE are really good at taking care of communities and other people, which is what gubmint actually is, only we’re too fucking stupid to understand it! Also, by “poor people” he don’t mean US! We’re going to be RICH! He means THEM!”

  • mailman27

    I am curiously unmoved by Wilbur Ross’s financial sacrifice.

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    I can’t even read or listen to our Idiot In Chief anymore. The only thing I want to hear from him now is, “I’m coming out with my hands up.”

    • I’ll settle for “I hereby resign the Presidency, effective noon tomorrow.”

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        TBH, me too.

    • AuntyMaude

      I want him handcuffed and brought out of the white house for his perp walk in front of the cameras.

      • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

        CAN YOU EVEN IMAGINE! That would be glorious.

      • Lisa

        Baby hand cuffs.

  • Idiots Out Wandering Around

  • Lucas Foxx

    I must have been really high this morning. I thought I read he had said he was going to put solar panels on his dumb wall. I dreamed they reported he said “My IDEA!” He should make the stupid wall out of coal so he can create more jerbs (and burial plots) for miners risking their lives for a product nobody wants anymore. When he is out of jail, he can decorate his golf courses with it.

  • Nephilim

    I don’t watch or listen to Trump rally speech any longer and wait to read summaries and commentary. But last night I ended up in a Hospital Emergency Room (an oxymoron) for my wife and was a captive audience because the T.V. only had Faux News on. About half way through I started to almost get sick myself. The exaggerations he claims and the promises he continues to make were bad enough. But his audience is there, delusionally keep cheering him on. He is divisive , insults anyone he pleases, and yet these yahoos continue to encourage him. I’m not sure if there’s an audience applause display there or we really are so divided that he has supporters that believe his crap. Sad.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    I’d rather have competent people, regardless of whether they are poor or rich. But hey, I’m not Trump. And it seems for him, being rich means being competent.

    • Scrofula

      Weight of tackily-gilt interior decorations is his other criteria.

  • CATMAN

    Another Trump throwback to the 19th Century–rich people are more virtuous and their success will allow the blessings of capitalism to flow like a river to the working class–just look at the Supreme Court’s decisions on the rights of capital in the late 19th and early 20th Century

  • Tj McGee Wright

    I’m glad Iowans understood all that. Because to me it was just some senile old man incomprehensibly talking to himself. With a microphone.

    • Johnny Appleseed

      Oh, McCain was there too?

  • janetintexas

    Cabinet positions are good jobs — simply by virtue of having the job, any qualified person would automatically be “not poor.” I found out a number of years ago that the Book of Job was actually written before the Book of Genesis — since then I have understood that the wealthy have been inventing stories for millennia about how they *deserve* their riches, and those who don’t have anything must be bad or have displeased the gods in some way thereby also deserving of whatever happens to them. And people fall for these stories every time!

  • dshwa

    So we finally found a line Maggie Haberstrom wouldn’t hack across. Silver lining.

  • mfp

    i just saw the clip of the asshole saying he doesnt want a poor person in charge of the economy, cause youknow, rich people naturally know how to whatever the fuck he’s trying to say

    stupid fucker…any rich prick can make his budget..after all, it’s pretty much unlimited…ask somebody working two min-wage jobs what they need to make their budget work, and i’ll guarantee they’ll say ‘more money, dumbass’…and that’s what we need to make our govt and country work…more money, i.e., make those rich cocksuckers pay more…fucking rocket surgeons

    • Scrofula

      You forget, any not-so-rich prick can ask his accountants to turn his colossal real-estate fuck-up into a billion dollar tax break.

  • Lisa

    You forgot the part where he started getting rich when his dada gave him a small loan. Then he started screwing people to get more.

    • davidhollenshead

      Actually our Führer Trump started with carefully discussed money laundering. He discovered screwing people after he became a proud mafia associate.

  • davidhollenshead

    Our Führer Trump only cares about the 1%, and his brownshirts only care about their precious white supremacy.

  • Mr. White

    Such deluded, willfully ignorant imbeciles.

  • javadavis

    Two things, Evan.
    I believe it is spelt “Rallyes” – at least that is how I spell it – to recognized the DNA imported from 1930s Germany.
    And you missed a commentary opportunity”
    “And they had to give up a lot to take these jobs! They gave up a lot!
    [Like they gave up having to go to work, what, once a week to make the shareholders happy, in order to just shovel money directly from the Treasury into their pockets. Of course they have to shovel some into other people’s pockets, too, but still]” (or something like that)

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