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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
pseudo-euphoria

To my friends on the spectrum, let me explain to you an unspoken social rule that possibly nobody has ever explained to you before

lierdumoa

If a neurotypical asks you, “What game are you playing?” they’re not asking you to describe the game.

They’re asking you if they can play too.

If a neurotypical asks you, “What are you watching?” they’re not asking you to explain the plot of the movie/tv show to them.

They’re asking if they can watch it with you.

.

When neurotypicals ask you “What are you doing?” 

  • What you think they’re asking: “Please explain to me what you are doing.” 
  • What they’re actually asking:  “Can I join you?”

Now here’s the really fucked up part. If you start explaining to them what you’re doing? They will interpret that as a rejection. 

  • What you think you’re saying: [the answer to their question]
  • What they think you’re saying: This is an elite and exclusive activity for a level 5 friend and you are a level 1 acquaintance. You are not qualified to join me because you don’t know all this stuff. Go away.

.

This is why neurotypicals think you’re being cold and antisocial.

IT’S ALL A HORRIBLE MISCOMMUNICATION.

bonehandledknife

I didn’t realize, even thought it took me almost three decades to learn this, that this was such a paradigm changing realization until we had our conversation today.

But it really really is. One of the most bewildering realizations I’ve had is most people don’t talk to learn things unless its related to work or directly towards their own hobbies, all the words and questions are bonding questions if done socially. They are “lets make friends” questions.

So if I answer their question without an opportunity for the person asking the question to give a response or to join in somehow, the asker feels alienated and starts shutting down.

Example: what are you reading?

True answer but not what they’re looking for: Title of book

Best answer for social scenarios where I want to retain/create friendship: This book is about x and y but it has z that i know u have an interest in too.


Example: what are you doing?

True answer but not: drawing

Best answer for friends: I’m drawing but would u like company while I’m working?


And sometimes frankly I’m not in a headspace where I can process people so the answer is something like, “I would like to do something in a day or later, do you want to plan something?”

Tldr: communication is wierd

survivablyso

HOLY

SHIT

that explains so fucking much thank you

(why the fuck do neurotypicals never just day what they mean ie hey this show looks cool mind if I join you)

bonehandledknife

Further annoying?

They don’t realize that’s what they’re asking and they just feel rejected and go away. So you can’t even ask them what you did wrong because they can’t even put a finger on why they feel the way they do they just know you made them feel bad for some undefined reason.

Source: lierdumoa Meta Autism clear communication communication friendship
meeresfem
war-lesbian

i think something we dont talk about enough is that cis women go through “voice training” as well, they just dont call it that. the type of voice that society values in women isnt static or necessarily aligned with cis women’s natural speaking voice and cis women as they grow up learn what voices are considered attractive and listened to and which are ignored. the deepness of men’s voices is largely put on & artificial too. any “biological” variation in voice pitch is much smaller than we might be led to believe. the voice training that trans women do is literally just a faster and more focused attempt to learn what cis women pick up over years and years.

Source: war-lesbian Meta transmisogyny voice work cisnormativity youth misogyny
nerdytransgirl
just-shower-thoughts

Some scientists say life is a simulation. If this is true then I’ll be leaving a 2 star review after I’m done. It has potential but needs a lot of work.

nerdytransgirl

Look, the work is being done, but by the end users. We make all the mods, and unfortunately some of the mods are horrible. But hey, we’ve come a long way from being primates, and with the advent of a giant interconnected web of information, we are making drastic improvements faster than ever for the end user. The future looks bright, even if a few assholes installed an orange bug into the system.

Source: just-shower-thoughts Meta cyberspace networked surrealism modding death mention
nerdytransgirl
transgirlkyloren

I think a thing a lot of people don’t get is that… early in your transition, it’s really common to look for Signs. “my digit ratio is masculine!” “I played with dolls as a kid!” “I like science!” “I’m emotional!” “I like wearing dresses a lot!” “my mother dreamed I would be a boy when I was a kid!”

and ofc none of that means shit, but it’s really hard and scary to say “I’m not the gender I was assigned at birth because I don’t want to be”

so we look for signs, for validation, for evidence, for proof that it’s Okay, it’s Allowed, we are Really X Deep Down

but the thing is… you don’t have to do things that hurt. You don’t have to be in a body that hurts you. You have the right to not be in pain, because you are a person, and no one can take that away from you. You don’t have to earn your right to not hurt. You don’t have to prove that you deserve to not hurt. You can just… not hurt. It’s okay. It’s allowed.

Source: transgirlkyloren Meta sexgender cisnormativity
nerdytransgirl
nerdytransgirl: “genderflutters: “ nymphaeale: “ thewyndur: “ evolution-incarnate: “ thisismyblogithink: “ theduchessunseen: “ etrianodysseyobsession: “ carly-rae-transbians: “My fav trans writer just made this on her Twitter so I thought I’d...
carly-rae-transbians

My fav trans writer just made this on her Twitter so I thought I’d share.

etrianodysseyobsession

The major unlock for me was realizing that wanting to be a girl was a symptom of being a girl.

theduchessunseen

Me realizing I was trans was me going “Wow. I wish I was transgender., I’d like to be a girl.” for MONTHS (this was when I started seriously questioning) till one day I was wishing I was trans and then I was just like:

“……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….WAIT.”

thisismyblogithink

I remember when I was like 13 I read something about trans people in an informative way for the first time and in the span of about three seconds I was just like “oh. That’s a thing. That makes a whole lot of sense.”

evolution-incarnate

Ever since I could comprehend what a girl was I wanted to be one
Thought it was normal

thewyndur

These comments are so pure and sweet I had to reblog!

nymphaeale

“wanting to be a girl was a symptom of being a girl” this was a huge stumbling block for me. I learned of the existence of trans ppl in my late teens, but always seen it framed as ‘they ARE [gender]’. But I thought I only WANTED to be a girl (which I didn’t realize wasn’t normal. Who wouldn’t, right?) It wasn’t until 6 or 7 years later that I figured out I was trans too… But that’s why posts like this are important to me, hopefully some trans ppl who haven’t realized it yet see them, and realize that this could apply to them. Cause while we are our gender, when you’re figuring it out; it feels less sure, cause the whole world is trying to tell you otherwise.

genderflutters

I always wanted to be a girl too, it was just that after I saw someone post about being transgender on a forum I was on, that I started looking for it, and thus understood that I WAS a girl.

nerdytransgirl

I wanted to be a girl for as long as I could remember, but I thought it was wrong to want to be a girl. So i denied myself any consideration of being transgender till i couldn’t take it any longer. Kid’s shouldn’t have to be about to commit suicide before coming out to themselves. Not only is it sometimes too late for them when they come out at that point, but the lack of education and positive exposure does more harm than good.

vaguely-none

[Image description: Meme image of someone holding a finger to their forehead; top text is “If you wanna be a girl”; bottom text is “You can just be a girl”. End description.]

for me it was a journey from consciously “wanting to be” a girl, settling into genderqueer as an identity as a compromise, and eventually “wanting” to be even a trans girl. later i learned more about denial of girlhood and started asserting that i’ve always been a girl, though without having been aware of it.

Source: carly-rae-transbians Meta gender dysphoria sexgender cisnormativity denial of girlhood suicide mention suicidal ideation genderqueer