0
0

Sex is Great! Shit tests won't stop! (self.marriedredpill)

HangingSalami が 投稿

Field report 2 . 2-3 months all in redpill, getting shit together. Massive increase in sex frequency. Getting bjs first time in decade. Attempted anal 3x , haven't been turned down for regular sex yet. Period sex for first time. Sex almost daily for last week, but still pretty much starfish. Unbelievable. Even she is surprised. Below are some of the latest shit tests and my responses. Would appreciate any feedback.

  1. 215 5 ft 9, still have a bit to lose to be optimal. She keeps pointing at my gut, making fun of me being fat (playful manner, then outright rude) and taking photos that are unflattering of me a showing me later.

My response: workout and diet more 4x week, fasted caloric restriction paleo/keto, deleted photos and admonished her "don't take unflattering pictures, don't laugh at me and don't post to social media without my permission"

  1. She yelled at me while driving (very dangerous issue that has caused us big problems in the past: our last separation began with a argument in the car, and she and a batshit counselor ended up calling cps - total clusterfuck - I took her back 2 years later) and proceeded to instigate while driving in a very tense situation. I had to pull over for 20 minutes and correct her behavior.

My response: pulled over for about 20 minutes. Told her to get out at fast food place to talk. She refused. I Apologized for getting angry. No apology from her.

  1. Bad behavior after giving her cash money. I give her $200 week spending money. I take care of all other bills and expenses (she doesn't work, takes care of a 5 year old and a few teens) after receiving cash the shit test usually start up.

My response: none yet

  1. Slut behavior regret? After a week of BJs and extended dominant type sex - she starting to slut shame herself? Saying she isn't a cum bucket, sex is too forceful wants more cuddling and other bullshit like that. Hasn't refused me once, but it's coming I'm sure.

Response: none. Really not attracted to her after all these shit tests. Almost feeling a light depression. This is usually where I let our relationship affect my work negatively.

Over all she is happy about the cash money I'm making now. Extra effort to fix shit in the house, Counseling my teens, observing and correcting their behavior, working out and in general taking a leadership position for the first time in the family. But the shit tests are unending and gaining in frequency and amplitude. She's wearing me down and I'm almost disgusted to have sex right now. she looks great physically so wtf?

全 35 件のコメント
並べ替え:
ベスト
トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]BluepillProfessorMarried-MRP MODERATOR 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shit tests are foreplay. Adjust your thinking and you will do better. Stop waiting for the tests to end. The goal is not to end them but to respond better.

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED[🍰] 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (3子コメント)

215 5 ft 9, still have a bit to lose to be optimal not clinically obese.

FTFY

I took her back 2 years later

Oh, I see now. Rooting through garbage again?

She refused. I Apologized for getting angry. No apology from her.

faggot.

you are not attracted to a woman who would rather berate you than be happy.

[–]HangingSalami[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah. I could be happier with Red Pill knowledge & Wisdom I now know. But there is history and family to consider. That's why I'm working on this one more last time. The easy route would be to leave

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Feels like I've heard this same song before ?

[–]ScurvemuchMRP APPROVED[🍰] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

But there is history and family to consider.

Excuses, sunk cost.

That's why I'm working on this one more last time.

more faggot thinking

The easy route would be to leave

Wishful thinking. Ego

[–]yes_we_can_t 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Saying she isn't a cum bucket, sex is too forceful wants more cuddling and other bullshit like that.

This is not a shit test, it's a comfort test. This is a good sign. At the minimum, after rough sex, cuddle like the big fat teddy bear you are. You are getting the sex you need, give her some of the comfort she needs.

To keep a relationship happy, you need to balance attraction attributes (spontaneity, unreliability, impulsivity, aloofness, DGAF, etc.) with relationship attributes (reliability, predictability, comfort, etc.).

Betas fail at relationship because they don't create attraction and instead have covert contracts (I do all these things for her, so why don't we fuck?), red pill rambos fail at relationships because they are too unstable and cold for a relationship. Being a hard, cold asshole might be attractive, but it does not make for a great relationship.

Be clear on your boundaries (e.g. no posting of photos of you on social media without your approval, no yelling in the car), but don't be too hard when trying to change her behavior. Don't be afraid to compliment and praise her when you are happy with her. I suggest reading the "Praise Her" chapter in The Way of the Superior man. It's a couple of pages. Though with praise, be like a generous god, not a beta Nice Guy™ giving compliments as a way to get something.

Finally, a leader is not the guy shouting orders, it's the guy taking charge to make sure his team wins.

[–]BobbyPeru 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (9子コメント)

don't take unflattering pictures, don't laugh at me and don't post to social media without my permission"

STFU about the pics. I agree about the social media part though. I have to approve any picture of me put on social media – I made it clear to my wife. Social media is tricky that way. Women can use it as a way of increasing their SMV while simultaneously decreasing yours, thus isolating you.

You don't want shit test to end. If they do, that just means she is disinterested. However, some of this is beyond a shit test – learn to Spot the difference between a shit test and just plain disrespect. The disrespect might stem from you taking her back… Read some Rollo

[–]RPJMRP 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is a good point about the disrespect. Some of them are shit tests. Some of them is because she is shitty. There's a difference.

[–]HangingSalami[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I think the disrespect comes from her ideal which is very feminist. Basically women are all powerful and women should be put on a pedestal ( she's said these exact words) and that "real" men serve, take care of women and do what they are told...lol

[–]thewholefnshow547 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Solution: Go through your pictures on your computer, find the 10 most unflattering pictures of your wife and save them in a different place. Next time she post some shit on you, post 3 of the unflattering pics of her on Facebook, tag her in the photos. Enjoy the ensuing chaos.

When she blows her stack on you, say you thought it was just a game. Play innocent and don't apologize, but have a cocky "fuck you" smile on your face while doing so.

If your first salvo does not work, at least you will have 7 more pictures to play with. Sometimes you have to fight fire with fire.

[–]HangingSalami[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Damn that is hard core. I don't think I have the. Outage to do something like that

[–]thewholefnshow547 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not outrage at all. In fact, there should be little emotion attached to it. This is simply what happens when somebody disrespects me.

I am playful, funny and can roll with the punches, but I do not tolerate anybody, wife included, disrespecting me. Now usually when the wife is disrespectful, it is something minor or some kind of test. I usually take it with a grain of salt and deal with it in a more private/conversational manner. But if she started pulling public disrespecting, you better believe there would be equal if not greater retaliation. I know this and wife knows this, so it doesn't happen. Its what is called commanding respect.

Looks like you might need to drop a few bombs to get her attention.

[–]BobbyPeru 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

All of that is neither here nor there. If Chad comes along, she throws all that out the door and jumps on his cock and the delights in him pulling her hair while ramming her from behind

Become Chad...but do it for yourself

[–]HangingSalami[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

That may be the problem. I'm on the road to become Chad, but it's too win her back.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

but it's too win her back.

Then, no, you're not on the road to becoming Chad.

[–]BobbyPeru 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well, now you know the problem. Change it - Read, practice, lift... For yourself

Internalizing the RP frame takes time and work

[–]redmountainpill 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

You're still fighting stupid battles with her. I'd focus on lifting, diet, and learning to enjoy shit tests. Do that for 3-4 months, then reassess. You care too much what she says

[–]HangingSalami[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

We are in a dynamic where we talk a lot (both very verbal) and are close friends. I've been stfu more but she's been on a tirade lately of talking my ear off

[–]redmountainpill 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's good to foster that friendship. Keep doing the behaviors that bring you closer together. Just realize that women will test you until the end of time. Don't get mad about it. Embrace it

[–]alphabeta49MRP-APPROVED 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

215 5 ft 9, still have a bit to lose to be optimal

You think you're close? Unless you've got insane muscle mass, there's no way you're "close to optimal". I'm 5'8", never went over 200, but I was a fatass. Now, at 178, I look good with a shirt on, but fuck me if I take it off. Still working on that, I still have a gut. Stop mincing words. You're obese. Calculate it yourself.

yelled at me while driving

People have already reamed you about taking her back. Regarding the car fights: don't engage when you're driving. If she's causing a dangerous situation, pull over, turn off the car, tell her to get out, and call the cops if she doesn't. But stay quiet and level headed. You're just as much to blame if you're engaging in the fight too.

I Apologized for getting angry. No apology from her.

Yeah, cut this out. Apologies are supposed to benefit the apologizer, not for the recipient. But you're apologizing to her for her, hoping that she'll feel better. Fuck that.

after receiving cash the shit test usually start up

Your issue isn't giving her cash. Your issue is that you tolerate bad behavior. Decide what your lines are and what consequences go with them. Crossed line=consequences. But that requires big balls. Doubt you can handle it right now.

Slut behavior regret?

You hitting on all DEVI cylinders? Sex should be satisfying to both of you, which means changing things up. Sometimes sex is dominant and crazy. Sometimes it's emotional and passionate. Give her the full palate. Other than that, anti-slut defense is real. Read up on it.

Over all she is happy about the cash money I'm making now. Extra effort to fix shit in the house, Counseling my teens, observing and correcting their behavior, working out and in general taking a leadership position for the first time in the family. But the shit tests are unending and gaining in frequency and amplitude

You're a slot machine to her. She puts in sex, she gets more provision/better beta. She probably even thinks you're doing all this awesome stuff for more sex. Is that true? Covert contracts?

There's going to come a point when she'll reject you for sex. Your response to that will show both of you where you truly stand. Get butthurt and vengeful? Covert contract. Continue on just as happy as before? You're on your way.

[–]HangingSalami[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I've lost about 10 Lbs. but prolly gained the same in muscle mass. With shirt on, getting more attention then I have ever past teen years.

Thanks for the detailed reply. Arguments in the car have always been a minefield. Regarding DEVI I feel like a fish out of water. It's always been about her pleasure, not mine...so often times there is confusion and uncertainty in the bedroom. I'm on new territory. I haven't explored my needs for so long. Frequency and longer duration times are important. She claims I am hurting her by not going at the quick pace of the past.

Got rejected for the first time. Tried to instigate at 4am and she was in shock that I would even ask. I blew it off and went out for coffee and work. I'm stepping up my overall game so wouldn't be surprised if she thought this is some type of covert contract.

[–]alphabeta49MRP-APPROVED 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

getting more attention then I have ever past teen years.

You must be a total hunk. I can't imagine putting almost 50 lbs on my frame and thinking I looked good in a shirt.

Time will tell if you're gonna respect yourself enough to set and actually enforce boundaries.

[–]drty_pr 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Maybe he has 4' wide shoulders?

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

getting more attention then I have ever past teen years.

You're going to let that get in the way of continued progress. Don't allow minimal gains to cloud the bigger picture. You've got A LONG way to go.

So... GO.

[–]Triadis3 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Testing the new frame to see which one of the three little pigs built it.

You're engaging her too much.... fog, A+A, AM, distract. Otherwise you're doing yourself a disservice as she knows she can scratch at your door and you'll open up and let her in.

Verbal intercourse is optional.

Maybe there was a post about that somewhere..... go get it.

Green Jelly - Three little Pigs...

https://youtu.be/Gtffv9bpB-U

[–]HangingSalami[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Thanks. First time in my life having some type of frame. This relationship and my willing participation in it has ruined my life. My frame does feel very fragile at this point and I need to make a distinction between shit tests, comfort tests and downright disrespect. It has been difficult without the experience to tell the difference

[–]coluorred 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

... took her back 2 years later

Why would you do that? This is a huge obstacle to overcome.

If you are not attracted to her, then don't have sex with her.

[–]HangingSalami[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I took her back, because I thought I still loved her and my children were suffering. I won't be having sex with her ( just rough quickies) if she misbehaves.

[–]Blunter-S-Thompson 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I won't be having sex with her

Way to set a boundar....

( just rough quickies)

Ahhh fugg'n hell...

[–]Buttslam1488 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Ghost this stupid bitch

[–]Rotten_Red 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're 2 to 3 months in. Slow down, you're going too fast, she needs time to adjust to your changes.

[–]RPJMRP 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

That sucks man. You are owning your shit. It is working like it's supposed to and your ready to give up. I'm not saying your wife doesn't suck, because she sounds pretty shitty right now. But, if you keep going, she may just enter your currently weak frame.

A shit test is just her ego protection. It means she is finding you attractive. If you past the shit test, it is an affirmation of self worth. In other words," my man is high value because he is turning me on by owning his shit AND he had the balls to swat my shit test away"..sexy times proceed. She is making sure you have the worth she is interpreting through your actions. She is making sure you are not just putting up a facade and are going to return to drunk captain.

Don't fuck it up with a covert contract that if you do "x" then she'll be sweet. She'll be sweet and submissive when you've earned it.

This is the nature of a shit test. Stop looking at it as. a negative. It is an indicator she is getting turned on.

You have a long way to go on frame development. Keep working in the arena.

You are moving the right direction.

Make no mistake though, 5'9/215 is not decent fitness. It's fat, you got a lot of work to do in this arena. Put down the fucking spoon and get your ass into a shape other than round.

[–]SteelToeShitKicker[🍰] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Make no mistake though, 5'9/215 is not decent fitness. It's fat, you got a lot of work to do in this arena. Put down the fucking spoon and get your ass into a shape other than round.

Yep. I have one inch in height on OP and he has 35lbs on me. OP is a fat fuck. Time to cut bro, you better not be bulking.

[–]HangingSalami[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Thanks for the feedback. I'm still stuck in the "newb gains" mindset. I've seen exponential increase in sex that I think subconsciously I might getting lazy. Had my first rejection this morning. Just left to work. Going to the gym later. I have a lot of work ahead of me. Beta bitch tendencies definitely starting to surface again. Thanks for helping me see it.

[–]rocknrollchuck 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

US Navy Body Fat Calculator

Use this to get a better idea of your body fat percentage.