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Another day, another Trump grift. And we’re only 151 days in! Today’s episode of Cash Grab takes place in Briarcliff Manor, New York, where Trumpspawn Uday and Qusay are complaining about having to pay property taxes on one of Daddy’s trash palaces. HELLO! Nobody gets into real estate because they like paying taxes! And did they mention their father is the President?

Trumpscandal superfans will remember that Trump National Golf Club in Westchester is the property where the architect was owed $140,000 but Trump handed him a check for $25,000 and told him to take it or leave it. As reported in Forbes,

We didn’t even collect enough to fully compensate all of our consultants. We had to go back and ask them to take less. I had to divvy up the $25,000. I only kept a small amount. We had to dig into credit lines just to keep the ship afloat. I’m a sole proprietor so we siphoned off much of my savings. Then the recession hit. We were just getting back on our feet from the Trump punch in the stomach and a lot of other work fell away. We got really close to folding. There were two years when my income was zero.

But wait, there’s more!

Trump bought the property in 1996 for $7.5 million dollars and spent $45 million renovating it. Annual dues are $19,400, with initiation fees of $50,000. And on his recent financial disclosure with the Office of Government Ethics, Trump claimed the property is worth upwards of $50 million and generated almost $10,000,000 in income last year.

But when he’s dealing with tax authorities in the little town of Ossining, New York, Trump insists that the property is worth only $7.5 million. The same amount he paid for it 20 years ago. Bless his heart.

As CNN reports, suing the shit out of towns until they cry uncle is Trump’s regular M.O.

This isn’t the first time Trump has fought a property valuation. In fact, CNN found that it’s part of a pattern — he’s fought the tax assessments of all 12 of his U.S. golf courses except the one in Bedminster, New Jersey. On that course, he raises goats to qualify for a New Jersey farmland tax break.

Florida law enforcement spent about $4 million handling Trump’s visits to Mar-A-Lago, but Trump is currently fighting his $460,000 Palm Beach County property tax bill on the club.

In 2015, Trump’s lawyers argued that the Westchester club was only worth $1.35 million, and they managed to get the $38 million assessment knocked down to $16 million. Trump is still litigating his 2015 and 2016 tax bills in court, and sends his property tax checks in stamped “PAID UNDER PROTEST.” Which sounds like some sovereign citizen bullshit, but is actually a way of saying that payment isn’t an admission that the debt is valid.

But how can you even expect a $50 million dollar property to turn a profit if it has to fork over a whole $450,000 in taxes every year? UNPOSSIBLE.

Sure they get to write that $450,000 off on their federal taxes. And tax nerds may notice one or two write offs in this picture. Like golf carts, which depreciate over 7 years – so a $7,000 cart nets the owner a $1,000 write down yearly. And that fancy clubhouse, which is probably worth at least $150,000 per year in federal tax write offs.

You want to know why Trump doesn’t want to show you his tax return? Because he’s probably taking a $2 million dollar depreciation deduction on this property alone every single year! And the citizens of Briarcliff would do more than stage a protest on Trump’s birthday if they saw the real numbers.

Also, he’s probably in hock to Russia. And may not even be a billionaire.

At any rate, it is just unreasonable for the town of Briarcliff to ask a private business to fork over $450,000 to subsidize the school system. Golf courses are for polluting the waterways and entertaining douchebags, not redistributing wealth from makers to mooching kids.

[Forbes / OGE Financial Disclosure / CNN / ABC / Trump Westchester]

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  • AnnieGetYerFun

    Jesus, $140k? That’s ALL?

    • The Wanderer

      He makes Scrooge and The Grinch look like good-hearted philanthropists. Hell, he makes a fucking Ferengi look like a philanthropist.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Considering what he bilks out of St Jude, it sounds like he does follow the rules of orphan acquisition.

        • The Wanderer

          After all, he’s building a meat dragon, and not just any meat will do.

          • therblig

            c-a-a-a-a-a-a-r-l!

          • The Wanderer

            I award you an internet for spotting that. At work, I’ll occasionally say “My stomach has the rumblies that only hands can satisfy” when it’s time for lunch.

          • therblig

            blig jr and I constantly (to the exasperation of ms. blig) quote filmcow classics, whether it’s Charlie, “that goddamned animal”, Randall being a dickwheel, or whatever day it is in the Ghost House.

  • The Wanderer
    • ahughes798

      Such pointless death and destruction. We haven’t won a war since WWll. Why we still keep on with them, I’ll never understand. 

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Well if this doesn’t convince Georgia Republicans to not vote Republican, I don’t know what will.

  • La forza del resistino

    couldn’t keep up with the $ challenges, but wonder what Donald pays for chisels each tax year.

    • Rags

      He doesn’t need good attorneys – just cheap ones that will bully for him. He never goes to court on the merits of cases, he just beats people or municipalities or states into submission before trial.

  • Iam Reading

    Golf courses are for polluting the waterways and entertaining douchebags, not redistributing wealth from makers to mooching kids.

    That was epic. Tips hat

  • msanthropesmr

    Forget the Sirius Cybernetics marketing division.

    • TJ Barke

      We’re gonna need a longer wall…

      • willi0000000

        more pikes . . . more tumbrels.

  • Angela Ruzzo

    This is bad, but ordinary people often do the same thing. I had a friend who tripled the size of her 1950’s 3-bed 1-bath house by adding on rooms in every possible direction until the original 1200 sq. ft. house was a 3000 sq. ft house, including 2 enormous bathrooms and a second story. I asked her if she got permits to do any of this work, and she said “Hell no, if I got permits, the County would raise my taxes.” She is a teacher in the public schools, and she is always complaining that the schools don’t get adequate funding. The hypocrisy ended our friendship.

    • msanthropesmr

      Grand. And likely didn’t follow building codes also too.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Right. She hired a “handyman” who has been supporting a wife and 5 children off of her for 20 years. Not a single thing is code. One room is a “library” and I noticed the floor was sinking in one corner. Turned out he hadn’t used adequate piers under the floor, or pressure-treated lumber for the floor supports. Don’t even ask me about the electrical work. The whole house is a fire hazard.

        • calliecallie

          And she’s a teacher. That’s scary. What does she teach? Not history, I’m guessing. Nor physics.

          • Angela Ruzzo

            Art.

          • PubOption

            The art of the deal?

          • calliecallie

            OMG! On some level that kind of explains the house, though. Art, artisans, they don’t need no stinking building codes.

        • ahughes798

          Report her. You may be saving their lives.

    • AnnieGetYerFun

      Having watched my sister struggle to get city permission to add an apartment above her garage (it’s a really nice apartment – ETA: they built it anyway), I can kind of understand people avoiding trying to get permits from the local government. That said, a tax assessor is going to notice a new story, and your ex-friend’s taxes will go up anyway.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        No, they will not notice, because her lot is deep, and the house is set back, and the entire front yard is filled with trees and dense shrubs. You can’t see much of the house from the street, even in winter. In fact, people have trouble finding her house. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/644b4892e33ad32f7aec3d5d961d214b0769c1df11d8e61e32dde9d279e3acd7.jpg

        • AnnieGetYerFun

          Ah, well. That sucks. I had heard that our local assessor started using Google maps to spy on people’s houses from the top. But I don’t know if it’s true.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        I am a big supporter of permits. I finished an unfinished basement 20 years ago, and the extremely expensive and highly-recommended electrician totally fucked up the new circuit breaker box, which was caught by the County inspector.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Building codes enforcers these days sometimes use aerial photos to detect non-permitted construction. They will catch her eventually, and she will be given the choice to either tear it down or pay all the permit costs, back taxes, and penalties.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        She is 76 years old, and nobody has caught her yet. But when she dies and her nephew tries to sell the house, there will be an inspection, and then there will be hell to pay. She tried to will the house to the local university, and they sent someone out to look at it and declined her offer.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Yep…they always catch you eventually. Unless you’re Donald Trump. The property where I used to rent my shop space had a ton of illegal construction on it. There was a big fire, and afterwards, when the authorities compared the property to their plat on file, they were NOT happy. Owner ended up settling and selling the place for about a third of what it was worth.

      • Vincent Ricola

        This happened to my neighbors. My hood was ugly for about 2 months because they were sure one of us called them in for their small add on room. Come to find out, they were busted by a standard air sweep thing that the city does to catch people who suddenly grow new rooms on their home.

  • SayItWithWookies

    The amount of energy Assmouth spends wheedling every penny out of government is fucking astonishing – if it was hooked up to the grid it could probably eliminate coal power tomorrow.

  • William

    Trump is still litigating his 2015 and 2016 tax bills in court, and sends his property tax checks in stamped “PAID UNDER PROTEST.”
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/1d340d8760536126f5ff08dc86c658b3fb430c2aa708ff8f340dc7f2563a9833.jpg

    • The Wanderer

      His wife’s tits cost less.

      • William

        But likely more than her undergraduate degree.

      • arglebargle

        A lot less, and you get what you pay for.

  • La forza del resistino

    Potholes (with votes) wished upon your properties entrance roadways, Donald,

    • Jamoche

      Florida is already giving him sinkholes.

  • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

    When will Alex Jones start investigating the goat-fucking ring run from the basement of Bedminster?

    • Marion in Savannah

      Not his job. That assignment will go to Mickey Kaus.

    • wait! what?

      …technically, they’re llamas…

      • Marion in Savannah

        SHHHH… Don’t tell Kaus…

  • Proud Liberal
    • ManchuCandidate

      You would be rich as fuck to buy Trump for what he is actually worth (less than zero) and sell him for what Trump wants to believe he is worth (yooooge money.)

      • PubOption

        I suspect that he’s already been bought, by the Russians.

    • Wild Cat

      You know, who gives a flying fuck about him. Let him fart in the Oval Office or a slimy golf course for 7 1/2 more years. By himself.
      Dirt? Dirt on Pence. Dirt on Ryan. Dirt on McConnell. Dirt on every asswipe that’s in line for his job—dig it up and fuck them over with it.
      Nullify his government, the people actually doing the dirty work for him. He’s irrelevant, just a nasty and smelly figurehead.

    • Rags

      The flip side of last weeks “financial disclosure” that listed only assets. We are all in the black if we only count our assets, even if they are a pair of jeans and half a sixpack.

    • Carpe Vagenda

      I owe more than he’s worth, and I pay off my cards every month.

  • calliecallie

    Failure to pay property taxes? From the family that stole charity money for kids with cancer? You don’t say.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      I’m as surprised as you.

  • ManchuCandidate

    So tell me again Trumpites, how does being (allegedly) rich as fuck makes Trump immune to corruption and grift?

    https://imaginepepperland.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/oh-please-tell-me-more.jpg

  • jesterpunk

    Trump did say him not paying taxes makes him very smart. So no one should be really surprised about this.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBZR1-onmAo

  • William

    Wait what? This is the guy who berated NATO allies for not paying their fair share right? https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9506071d259ef0a0b6e1171743ed6ade907dd33304671c6b9b4354ab0adbfbd6.jpg

  • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

    You mean they’re completely dishonest, moneygrubbers with no moral compass? Next thing you’re going to say is that their daddy was just some slum lord who profited off of gentrification.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And was a member of the KKK.

  • PubOption

    Ossining could reevaluate the property at $ 50 million. When Trump’s lawyers/accountants/hangers-on ask where the valuation came from they could point to the financial disclosure form. They might not win, but seeing Trump attempt to face both ways at once would be entertaining.

    • sly-3

      assign it to an assessor with a mean streak and you’ve got a stew, baby!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    If someone keels over and dies on a Trump course, does he rifle through their pockets for loose change?

    • The Wanderer

      No, he has a servant do it.

      • Beowoof14

        A low wage servant.

        • The Wanderer

          With no benefits.

    • jesterpunk

      No because he already went through their pockets before they could get onto the property.

    • Pre-Existing Condition Jack

      What makes you think he waits for them to keel over and die before rifling through their pockets for spare change?

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      No, but I bet he bills the estate for storage until the ambulance gets there.

    • SeeTrain65

      They do that after they steal the guy’s clothes. And his clubs.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    And we’re only 151 days in!

    I picked the wrong month year lifetime for a Janopause FFS.

    Then again:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f0682a3e615bab011690b6e31478bf3aa73da67cebbee1d85fc52ab238e44df8.jpg

  • wait! what?

    If “paid under protest” is a way of saying that payment isn’t an admission that the debt is valid; can the IRS claim that, that payment is really a “gift” and Donald still owes them the full amount?

  • HazooToo
  • arglebargle
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Wow. She might find it difficult to make her trademark kissy face in a mugshot.

    • Vincent Ricola

      :)

    • Beowoof14

      Ah some happy news, that will hopefully lead to prison time for them.

  • anwisok
    • Marion in Savannah

      That baby lamb is too cute to be real.

      • ahughes798

        I can’t believe people eat them. GAK!

    • Christopher Story

      Ok, baby lamb made me squee.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      Oh thanky. Thanky. I’ve been sad all day. :(

  • Duke

    But… but… He _cares_ about little people! He said so!

    • Vincent Ricola

      I think he meant little in stature. He is very fond of Jeff Sessions.

      • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

        True, and Comey’s 6’8″ was a problem for him.

        • ahughes798

          Wow, I knew he was tall..but dang! That’s freaking tall!

      • Jamoche

        And hates James Comey.

    • Beowoof14

      Well he does care about taking what little money they may have, so yeah he cares.

  • DainBramage

    The news is so infuriatingly depressing these days. I need to get out for a walk. That always helps.

  • The Wanderer

    “I’d like to live just long enough to be there when they cut off your head and stick it on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price.”
    – Vir Cotto (Stephen Furst), Babylon 5

  • Relativicus

    Ahem, golf courses are not for what you claim. They’re places where I can go out on a beautiful sunny day, take in fresh air and the generally beautiful scenery, and enter into a blinding rage every 10 minutes or so.

    • OutOfOrbit

      You may be doing it wrongly.

      • Relativicus

        You’re probably right. I should focus less on the fresh air and scenery.

        • ahughes798

          The fresh air and scenery are the only things about golf that aren’t deathly boring, though!

    • Beowoof14

      Long ago, I stopped caring about how well I hit the little ball and just went for the walk with friends. And started to believe I got more golf for my money as I got to swing more.

      • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

        That’s a hilarious way to look at it, “more golf for my money.” I’m going to start doing that!

      • Nancy Wagner

        I score myself based on the proportion of golf balls in my possession at the beginning of the round round and golf balls that I have at the end.

    • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

      Don’t forget the occasional surging joy and hope, only to be immediately dashed on the next hole.

      • Relativicus

        Ah, yes, the solitary moments that keep us moving to the next rage.

        I lost three golf balls while I was typing that.

        • Cat Cafe for the Prosecution

          I myself died of embarrassment twice.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            A seagull swooped down and grabbed my sandwich out of the golf cart. Bastard.

        • ahughes798

          I have this golf ball that appears and disappears around the house, because the cats bat it around. Someone had written “Smelly Pussy” on the ball. I asked Mr. 798 if he knew where it came from, and he doesn’t know. Neither of us play golf.

    • Gigglesnort

      I kind of understand intellectually that some people get off on hitting a small ball around a large lawn, but I never could get into it myself.

    • Hardly Ideal

      Don’t they say that golf is a great way to spoil a good walk?

  • Beowoof14

    Pretty sure most of Trump’s wealth is a donnie fever dream. A dream he keeps selling to the gullible of America. And as his election shows, America is full of the gullible.

    • Hardly Ideal

      He says he’s a billionaire, but he sure acts like a thousandaire.

  • Lyly Sirivong

    That’s the thing that a lot of people don’t understand about very rich people. They always pay less taxes than they ought to, thanks to tax breaks.

    • Persistent Tennessee Rain

      But they are jerb creators, so it’s okay.

  • btwbfdimho

    Bigly. And the plural of Bigly: Biglies.

  • elviouslyqueer

    Jesus. This level of grifting makes the Palin clan look like a bunch of low-life common bottom dwellers.

    OH, wait.

  • So let me get this straight…
    he wants all the infrastructure in place, and the security in place, and all the other things in place…but he does not want to pay the pittance tax to actually keep these places up.
    Got it.

  • Marsupial99

    Ok, I have to temper my outrage on this one. I have never worked for a company, partnership, or any other money-making concern that does NOT appeal and/or fight their property tax assessments. (Keep in mind, I have worked in commercial real estate finance & accounting for 25+ years.) There are companies that do nothing but this (file appeals) and market their services like attorneys (“if we don’t lower your assessment, you don’t pay!”). I’m looking at an appeal sitting on my desk right now – and this is in a RE market that is getting hotter!

    I won’t get into the nuts and bolts, but, I do understand the desire to fight property taxes. For better or worse, a lot of this comes from Howard Jarvis-type legislation (hello, Prop 13 in CA) and other states that have adopted similar rules. I can’t (overly) blame people for wanting to use rules that already exist.

    That being said… just because Trump and his asshole sons SAY a property is only worth what they paid or built it for, doesn’t mean the appeals board will see it that way. They are supposed to look at property income levels & adjoining land values. When it’s the president filing the appeal — who knows how that will pan out.

    tl; dr: Fuck that guy & his kids.

    (Edited to add: I now have to go throw up after writing a post that somewhat defended the Trumps. bleah.)

    • Fivedollarfeminist

      Very true. It is impressive chutzpah to argue that you just put $45M into a property, so now it is only worth $1.35M. It’s the abusive litigation that makes this really awful, IMO.

      • JAKvirginia

        Yes with that! He publicly brags it’s worth $50M but behind closed doors claims something much less. Makes you wonder about his $1.5 billion “net worth” in his recent financial disclosure, huh?

        (And a big step down from “I’m worth $10 billion from the campaign trail. Maybe he lied. Just a bit.)

  • chascates

    So what’s America going to be worth after a few years of a Trump regime?

  • Poly_Ester

    Trump certainly acts like a thousandaire.

  • Popillius

    “polluting the waterways and entertaining douchebags” – BINGO

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