puppetwithapistol:

I say no worries a lot for someone who worries 101% of the time

prollybpd:

*kills myself* its called coping, sharon

ensyme:

my American gf: pound me
me: what’s that in metric

dontgetwisewithme:

If a girl asks you to hit her during sex, do yourself a favor and fucking hit her.

splatterpaintedmermaid:

Is there a polite way to ask you to shove me against a wall and bite my neck?