I feel so ashamed for even being born. I refuse to lay down and rot and will salvage what happiness I can, but I feel so judged just for looking the way I do.

I've approached over 1,200 girls and got rejected by ever single one. I've had to resort to the friendship route because people said girls wouldn't go for a guy like me unless we knew each other for a while first. Then I got shamed for showing interest down the road.

I'm not going to post my face, but I've been rated by over 200 people on reddit, and I'm a 2-3 across the board.

Here's an actual conversation I had with a girl.

Me: Could you rate me so I know if I need plastic surgery?

Her: Aww, don't worry. God made you the way you are for a reason. Some girl will find you attractive. You don't need to change a thing. :)

Me: I've been rejected by every single girl I've ever asked out.

Her: I don't believe you. Show me your pic.

Me: Sent her my pic

Her: What the fuck, you're a 2-3 dude. That should be obvious, but the good news is you're a guy. MONEY TALKS.

I was a bit taken a back because I expected more platitudes, but this is honestly just normal for me now.

Me: But am I just supposed to buy women? I don't want to be that type of guy. Can't anyone love me for me?

Her: Dude, I don't care. Quit talking to me.

People who are nice to me are nice to me like they are to wounded animals. Any time I show a hint of sexuality in my conversation I am quickly shamed.

Girls who I thought were very nice based on how they treat other guys are not so nice to me. This is just my life.

I'm not allowed to be sexual, and I just want some refuge from the social shame I have from merely being alive. I refuse to be desperate.

I've accepted that I'm too ugly to get treated the same way Chad would, no matter how hard I work. By virtue of looking like I do, the only arousal I induce is the arousing of feelings of disgust and pity.

What can I do? Incels tell me to either LDAR or just kill myself. I don't want to.