Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · 21h

I just got a condolence tweet to my family from @Hillary_Clinton about my suicide dated 6/16/17.

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 13

Just got back from my 3rd meeting with Russ Ambassador.

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

Where am I? Whomst'd've brought me here?? Internet, please help

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

I was recently invited to the sex dungeon by Trump and President Bannon...BOY was it fun. Made my Dumbo Ears wiggle.

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

some call me..... tim?

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

REEEEEEEEE

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

Nothing like a glass of vlad's taint sweat on a warm washington summer day! For taint sweat, you just can't beat Vlad's!

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

I do not recall soiling my adult diapers

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

My cock is 42 inches and vomits lies.

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

I do declare who put this uppity negress in a suit and why hasn't she washed my loafers? #kamalawho?

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

Sho is waarm today... it was waarm yestaday.. gonna be waarm tommora.

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

Can't believe I got to play with Trumps ball sack last night. Enjoyable and yuuge in my mouth! #love

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

Can't believe I got to play with Trumps ball sack last night! Enjoyable and yuge in my mouth! #love

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

By golly I've never been treated so harshly in my life as I was during that hearing. I do declare the stress has given me the vapors!

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

Oh, also, im a traitorous old fuck

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 13

Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

No wait it was only 2 according to @TheNotSoHonorableSenRubio

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

On all levels except physical, I am a wolf *yips*

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 14

donald trump is above the law.

Jeff Sessions @jeffsessions · Jun 13

I'm a cunt.