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Academic studies and countless anecdotes make it clear that being interrupted, talked over, shut down or penalized for speaking out is nearly a universal experience for women when they are outnumbered by men./r/all (nytimes.com)

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[–]The_Dork-uh-Whale 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (11子コメント)

Men frequently interrupting women even happens in the Supreme Court.

[–]druglawyer 333 ポイント334 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Supreme Court.

Am lawyer. Listen to supreme court arguments fruequently. That article, although widely reported, is perhaps the most misleading garbage I've ever seen. What looks like an "interruption" in the transcript, is in fact, if you listen to the actual audio, nothing more than multiple Justices beginning a question at the same time. Nobody interrupts a Justice, it's complete fucking nonsense.

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    [–]ladosu1 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (12子コメント)

    Countless anecdotes... That would make it anecdotal evedence and therefore bullshit.

    Waiting for mods to delete this lol

    [–]brokendownprism 95 ポイント96 ポイント  (13子コメント)

    Damn as a woman, I'm not this fucking weak.

    As if women don't interrupt, shout down and make people feel insecure as well in a professional setting.

    Soft bigotry of low expectations.

    [–]Eye_farm_downvotes 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (23子コメント)

    Yes. It is the same the other way around too.

    When one group is outnumbered by another, they are overlooked. Basic human behavior.

    Minorities tend to be ignored by majorities...

    [–]DredThis 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (8子コメント)

    Ummm. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1182327/

    [–]miparasito 43 ポイント44 ポイント  (18子コメント)

    I feel as though there are two kinds of interrupting. Constructive interruption builds on or clarifies what the person is saying, and it's an important part of collaboration. These are little sidesteps, but the person speaking knows they are being heard and can still move forward.

    Destructive interruption shuts down or sidetracks. These comments are dismissive ("That won't work"), sudden shifts in topic or may be a power move to essentially shift the floor to themselves. These interruptions undermine the credibility of the speaker and act like dams, they make it harder (or impossible) for the speaker to get back on track.

    [–]I'd like to buy a vowelSimplyTheWorsted 132 ポイント133 ポイント  (17子コメント)

    Constructive interruption builds on or clarifies what the person is saying, and it's an important part of collaboration. These are little sidesteps, but the person speaking knows they are being heard and can still move forward.

    I think this kind of interrupting might seem constructive, but in a formal, workplace setting (rather than one-on-one in a brainstorming session, or in a more informal environment) this smacks of condescension. Being interrupted so that someone else can explain your point for you? Clarifying an idea you hadn't finished stating yet? Telling you you're heard while preventing you from actually speaking? None of that is constructive.

    [–]nas_said_wtf 104 ポイント105 ポイント  (117子コメント)

    Sigh I just want people to get along. There's enough world problems as is. We should be helping each other not fighting each other

    [–]parading_goats 63 ポイント64 ポイント  (78子コメント)

    This is your response to sexism or complaints about sexism?

    [–]meta_sequoia 25 ポイント26 ポイント  (13子コメント)

    Could you be clear - what is the "fighting" you're referring to? Men shouldn't be disrespecting women by interrupting them more than other men? Or is the problem that someone is pointing this out and suggesting it should change?

    [–]fap_nap_fap 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (5子コメント)

    Great comment, I agree 100%

    [–]_iwasneverhere_ 154 ポイント155 ポイント  (11子コメント)

    I think there is a serious problem of primate ape brain operating in the modern world. Things like this conversation only happen when you emotionally invest in the tribe and contest another. Republicans and Democrats, boys and girls, team jocob vs team edward the world is so much easier when we can focus all conflicts into us vs them. Everyone in this thread knows that there are shades of grey and we are all just people but when you point at articles that say men are assholes for no reason it sparks the defensive side of men which sparks the indignation of women which will entrench everyone and you get this crap all over again.

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      [–]sonicssweakboner 76 ポイント77 ポイント  (2子コメント)

      I'm just glad this post isn't "today I did this and I'm so proud of myself"

      [–]lexabear 415 ポイント416 ポイント  (17子コメント)

      ITT: "All interruptions matter."

      Can't believe so many top-level comments all immediately go to "but the menz". Or "but I once talked to a woman and she interrupted me so therefore this entire field of study is wrong."

      [–]blahwomanblah 906 ポイント907 ポイント  (132子コメント)

      This would explain my recent job interview. It was an interview for the same work I had already been doing very successfully at a fortune 100 company for several years. I was interviewing for a job at different company because of the location. My resume and references were amazing. The recruiter basically told me I had the job and the interview was a formality.

      A panel of five men. Two of which ruthlessly interrogated me on my experience, kept interrupting and wouldn't let me elaborate on how we had semantic differences between our companies but the meaning was the same. Asshats. The best part was the most vicious offender is from a machismo culture and then proceeded to mansplain how soft skills were important for the job. I couldn't help but fume inside.

      My recruiter was shocked when I recounted the interview. Needless to say, they didn't hire me...to do a job I've done amazingly well for years at a better company.

      Nearly every week of my 10 year career I lament being a woman. Treading the line between meek and assertive like a fucking tightrope watching men with poorer outcomes, poorer social skills advance. I didn't need a book to tell my there are so few women leaders. You need only experience it for a few years.

      And FYI to the trending post in /r/askmen, the reason why women believe there is a problem with the "bitchy" perception isn't because they're poor leaders, though there are plenty who are. Its very telling when you are respected by your team, by your subordinates, by your leaders and then you switch groups and feel the instant change. It takes time, energy and commitment to break down those biases and once you do, you feel "home" amongst your team. And you really feel your disadvantage when interacting with those you haven't taken the monumental effort of building a reputation and rapport. And that monumental effort is the difference - the amount I have had to do vs my peers to gain the same level of respect.

      [–]notochord 165 ポイント166 ポイント  (26子コメント)

      Yep. I read so many books on how to act around men at work. Still, a man with less experience and no degree got promoted over me.

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        [–]The70sUsername 503 ポイント504 ポイント  (26子コメント)

        And that monumental effort is the difference - the amount I have had to do vs my peers to gain the same level of respect.

        This. I worked in a heavily male dominated industry at an entry level. In the deep south, redneck culture. About as sexist as it gets these days. The battle to be seen as a competent person is the problem. I was told "work circles around the boys!" Why? Why the fuck am I having to literally do 3x the work just to be seen as capable? Wouldn't that mean that "the boys" are whole incapable and should be let go or given hell for being 1/3rd as productive as a single person (me)?

        Then there was the fact that I had to fight to be able to do my job. I worked with power tools, it was in the job description. I had to argue for my right to use them. Once I'd managed to get my hands on it, I knew I couldn't so much as a take a break because needing/wanting a break meant I was just overwhelmed by the work, naturally.

        There were guys who started the exact same day as me, coming form the exact same school (literally we shared a class, it was trade school), with less field experience and were accepted into the fold as if they'd always been there.

        On the contrary I was told that my previous experience made me "harder to train." What? Granted he was meaning in terms of training for the job, but still, what?

        My favorite moment was when three guys were trying to figure out how high temperature would make the thickness reading on a piece of piping change. They hypothesized that the heat would cause it to expand outward (in radius), but the thickness should stay the same.

        They were failing to grasp that the heat would have expanded the inner wall itself, rather than the entire radius of the pipe. Essentially how a donut's hole looks much large before it's cooked, but after the dough expands the hole is smaller and the surrounding doughnut is much thicker.

        I explained this in plain English same as I did above. They literally responded with blanks stares, and turned to continue talking to each other as if I hadn't just answered the question they'd been debating for over an hour.

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          [–]Meownowwow 442 ポイント443 ポイント  (28子コメント)

          Reads post title - the comments are going to be all men saying that since they have been interrupted at some point in their life - therefore this is not a problem

          Reluctantly checks comments FML - Reddit whats the point of this sub anymore?

          [–]parading_goats 562 ポイント563 ポイント  (63子コメント)

          That's kind of how TwoX is as a default. The comments here already demonstrate the problem.

          [–]Careful_Houndoom 223 ポイント224 ポイント  (49子コメント)

          I kind of want to see the other side (That is not to discredit this article).

          At one job I used to work at for a short while I was the only male on staff with like 8 females. I could barely function because I was so paranoid about a sexual harassment claim that I never walked out of the vision of security camera's, or spoke unless spoken to.

          Does just being outnumbered by either side play negatively on a person?

          [–]quickhorn 338 ポイント339 ポイント  (17子コメント)

          I think there's a difference between having an experience that someone has and an internalized fear. If nearly every man that worked with a majority of women faced a sexual harassment claim, then I think we could compare experiences. That's not the case.

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              [–]wonderfuladventure 90 ポイント91 ポイント  (3子コメント)

              Hey! I'm doing research on this topic just now. It's very interesting and honestly it seems to have gotten better as times goes on. We, as a society, are aware of these problems and are individually addressing them. There still is some way to go though.

              [–]somepeoplewait 655 ポイント656 ポイント  (35子コメント)

              ITT: People who don't understand that exceptions exist but they don't disprove the results of studies.

              [–]Chiffmonkey 136 ポイント137 ポイント  (5子コメント)

              I used to get called shy for not doing it (it results in never getting to speak).

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