Jeff Sessions 's Fake Tweet

@jeffsessions · Jun 13

Just got back from my 3rd meeting with Russ Ambassador.

Where am I? Whomst'd've brought me here?? Internet, please help

@jeffsessions · 10h

I was recently invited to the sex dungeon by Trump and President Bannon...BOY was it fun. Made my Dumbo Ears wiggle.

some call me..... tim?

@jeffsessions · 11h

Nothing like a glass of vlad's taint sweat on a warm washington summer day! For taint sweat, you just can't beat Vlad's!

REEEEEEEEE

I do not recall soiling my adult diapers

@jeffsessions · 12h

My cock is 42 inches and vomits lies.

@jeffsessions · 13h

I do declare who put this uppity negress in a suit and why hasn't she washed my loafers? #kamalawho?

Sho is waarm today... it was waarm yestaday.. gonna be waarm tommora.

Can't believe I got to play with Trumps ball sack last night. Enjoyable and yuuge in my mouth! #love

@jeffsessions · 20h

By golly I've never been treated so harshly in my life as I was during that hearing. I do declare the stress has given me the vapors!

Oh, also, im a traitorous old fuck

Can't believe I got to play with Trumps ball sack last night! Enjoyable and yuge in my mouth! #love

@jeffsessions · Jun 13

Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~

No wait it was only 2 according to @TheNotSoHonorableSenRubio

On all levels except physical, I am a wolf *yips*

@jeffsessions · 23h

donald trump is above the law.

@jeffsessions · Jun 13

I'm a cunt.