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oppressed

Ivanka Trump had a very nice morning! She, the New York fashion socialite person, got to visit with Her People, by which we mean the idiot couch at “Fox & Friends.” It was a nice interview! She lied only several times! But the part that’s making news about Ivanka’s interview is that she is sad about how mean everyone is to her and her beloved daddy :(

After telling a normal human being story about how she brought her daughter Arabella to her sister-in-law Lara’s baby shower and Arabella didn’t understand because she thought it was a literal shower, like with water (which is a common kid mistake!), Ivanka said this:

There’s a level of viciousness that I was not expecting. I was not expecting the intensity of this experience, but this isn’t supposed to be easy. […] I didn’t expect it to be easy. I think some of the distractions and some of the ferocity … I was a little bit blindsided by on a personal level.

Oh no! Who is being vicious to Ivanka Trump and making things Not Easy for the family that makes its money off grifting, much of which is possibly illegal? Is it Wonkette? Like right here, in our viral and beloved seminal work on the subject, called “Oh Go Fuck Yourself, Ivanka Trump”? Maybe it was that time Wonkette said Ivanka is kind of bad at fashion, because she is.

Maybe everybody is being vicious because the narrative around Ivanka is that she’s this liberal, level-headed character capable of pushing back against her dear old dad’s most disgusting and hateful policies, but the reality seems to be that she’s not capable of influencing shit.

Or maybe everybody is being so vicious because Donald Trump is an incompetent, autocratic shit who has no respect for American laws and institutions, who barely squeaked into office because of an antiquated quirk in the American electoral system, and whose approval rating is hovering around 34%, because of how he is a liar who sucks. Maybe Americans are really disturbed by how there are multiple investigations into the possibility that the Trump campaign somehow colluded with Russia to influence the outcome of the election, since Russia is (SPOILER ALERT) not our friend.

Parts of the interview weren’t terrible. Ivanka said that, coming directly after the hugely successful Infrastructure Week, which literally nobody is talking about (except Goldman Sachs CEO Lloyd Blankfein, who is trolling Donald Trump HARD about it), it is now time for job growth week, and at points she sounded like a common Hillary Clinton, talking about the need for job training and skills-based education for the jobs of TODAY, as opposed to the jobs of yesteryear. But don’t worry, all them coal jobs are comin’ back, we’re sure her daddy has a real plan for that!

On the other hand, as the Washington Post notes, Ivanka also gave bullshit answers about the James Comey testimony and reports that her be-dimpled goon husband Jared is always fighting with Steve Bannon. She didn’t deny it, but she didn’t NOT deny it either.

But anyway, the point is that Ivanka is sad about how vicious everybody is, but she is strong, so she will survive, just like a common Job being tested by a needy God.

So we guess we’ll just say it again, even if it means we are being vicious again like a common Wonkette: Oh go fuck yourself, Ivanka.

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  • Bill D. Burger
    • Oblios_Cap

      She’s certainly done that.

    • schmannity

      Does she a Daddy Pussgrab get a 2 for 1 dye job?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      Ivwanker?

  • Nounverb911

    Next up, Ivanka complains that labor laws are hurting her sweat shops.
    https://twitter.com/t0adscroak/status/874228409370632192

  • schmannity

    When she says she was not expecting the intensity of the viciousness, she means her dad vis-a-vis the poor, people of color, and the Constitution.

  • Stulexington
  • Oblios_Cap

    But anyway, the point is that Ivanka is sad about how vicious everybody is, but she is strong, so she will survive, just like a common Job being tested by a needy God.

    She might survive, but will she lose her children, property and wealth, good name and health? Cause that’s what happened to Job. All over a bet.

    • schmannity

      Job was a whale player at the God Casino.

    • La forza del resistino

      Ivanka needs a sista role model
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Faf1ch7Q9XE

      • Gayer Than Thou

        The gay national anthem is not for the likes of Ivanka.

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Surely she should be singing ” Nobody likes me everybody hates me. I think I’ll go eat worms.”

          • Eileen Besse

            “First you bite the heads off, then you suck the guts out, then you throw the rest away….”

    • calliecallie

      You know what? I kind of fucking hope so.

  • Skwerl the Taco Hunter
  • Bill D. Burger
  • God Emperor Emeritus

    Nobody could have predicted that being president instantly makes you one of the most hated people in America. Especially when your whole public shtick is being a loudmouthed asshole racist. NOBODY COULD HAVE KNOWN.

    • schmannity

      Not among his base, viz., loudmouthed asshole racists.

      • Longstreet63

        Yeah, maybe Vank should go hang out with here Daddy’s base for awhile. She’d have a great time, no doubt.

  • Joe Beese

    Serious question: What percentage of Ivanka’s favorability rating derives from her dye job?

    • calliecallie

      As compared to her boob job?

      • PubOption

        Or nose job.

        • Persistent Tennessee Rain

          Or her chin job…or her dental veneers….

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    I forget – is this the part where I’m supposed to go “boo hoo”?
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a64f27deb0a6b03c504a65e43199da4cd64ee7fe8ed4d20f01c21ebd7655d7a2.gif

    • Gayer Than Thou

      I think you’re supposed to say that your thoughts and prayers are with Ivanka. Mine certainly are.

  • La forza del resistino

    Her faux breathiness voice sounds like she is taking voice lessons at an emphysema clinic.

    • Darlene Underdahl

      Daddy likes it.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Ew.

      • La forza del resistino

        Marilyn Monroe invented the voice and we should not accept any substitutes.

  • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

    So we guess we’ll just say it again, even if it means we are being vicious again like a common Wonkette: Oh go fuck yourself, Ivanka.”

    So say We All!

    • Stulexington

      So say We All.

      • Oblios_Cap

        Today none of us are Ivanka.

    • schmannity

      Or, in the South, So say y’all.

      • FlownΩver

        And, of course, bless her heart.

      • grindstone

        ALL y’all!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Yo, Ivanka?

    You have enabled a POTUS who is the worst news for women since…fuck, I don’t know when, even Reagan wasn’t as bad FFS. You actively worked to put a man into the White House who is a serial sexual assaulter, who regularly demeans women who dare not worship at his altar, whose policies will set back decades of progress, and who embodies male privilege. That’s without even going into the harm he is causing to others (not least of all the working people he presumes to represent.)

    And now your feelings are hurt?

    If it was sympathy you wanted, you’ll have to get in line and prepare for a long fucking wait TYVM…

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/73f453845b3e5853bee83082ae25aad4d683fc7affb4c56df83f33b53cf9f418.jpg

  • Edith Prickly
  • WeaselPoo

    Ivanka being oppressed…accompanied by the whiny sounds of the tiny violins inherent in the system.

  • Nounverb911
    • Logic of Color

      And a family whose son gave his life for our country. He’s done so much unbelievable shit over the last 18 months it’s easy to forget.

  • Painter of Goats

    Poor little rich girl says what?

    • Oblios_Cap

      Richie Rich didn’t bitch like that. And he was the Poor Little Rich Kid™.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    How dare they! CNN said Ivanka was the greatest most powerful Jewish woman ever!

  • Oblios_Cap

    Or maybe everybody is being so vicious because Donald Trump is an incompetent, autocratic shit who has no respect for American laws and institutions

    I would say that is more than likely the reason, yes.

    You forgot “vile”.

  • Indiepalin

    Every night I go to sleep wondering if little Barron Trump has enough to eat, a warm place to sleep, and a stuffed animal to hold on to.

    • Oblios_Cap

      And a limousine toy with which to play.

    • msanthropesmr

      I hope Barron grows up to be an ACLU lawyer.

      • ltmcdies

        wouldn’t that be awesome….

    • Logic of Color
    • Ghenghis McCann

      To be serious; I’d like to know if that kid had a couple of loving parents.

  • memzilla Ω

    Money Can’t Buy Class. Yer daddy knows this. I dunno why he didn’t tell ya, you self-absorbed griftress.

  • Zonath

    What she means is, that as daddy’s little daughter whom he would definitely like to fuck if he could, Ivanka was always sheltered from the petty viciousness of the sycophants and real-life Internet trolls who populate all of Trump’s “organizations”. She never expected any of the viciousness to be directed at her.

    • Stulexington

      But I thought Obama hired a bunch of people to be mean to drum up support, I didn’t pay any of these people (or even promise to pay them and stiff them) but they’re being mean anyway.

  • Nounverb911

    Seems appropriate that Ivanka bitches and moans on the anniversary of the day Anne Frank started her diary. /Not

    (Anne would have been 88 today).

    https://twitter.com/UNESCO/status/874151384236646400

  • calliecallie

    She didn’t know that it would be so vicious? Was she ASLEEP during the 8 years of President Obama? Jesus.

    • Nounverb911

      IOKIYAR.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    It would be much easier to be nice to Ivanka and family if her dad decided to retire.

    • theblackdog

      Preferably to somewhere outside the US. Maybe he’d enjoy Saudi Arabia?

      • msanthropesmr

        Where did Idi Amin go when he retired?

        • Ghenghis McCann

          Saudi Arabia. They’re a very welcoming place.

      • Oblios_Cap

        We could relocate him to a Mayan temple at the top of all of those stairs…

        • FlownΩver

          …and encourage him to lie down for a nice rest.

      • chortlingdingo

        Just as long as he takes his devoted cultish followers with him.

        • Historicat

          There’s a Flavor-Aid joke in there somewhere, I just can’t find it.

  • Indiepalin

    Little Arabella may have thought she was going to another one of her uncle’s golden showers.

  • crunchyknee

    Remember that time Donnie J and all his inbred supporters where nice to the press, liberals, disabled folk, gold star families, Lil Marco, JEB!, Europe…?

    Me neither.

    • JoeChristmas

      Let’s go shoot some baby elephants and cheetahs in the head, Qusay!!

  • Mr. Blobfish

    May the Trump brand be forever toxic.

    • msanthropesmr

      You mean beyond high lead levels in their consumer goods?

      • Suttree

        No harm done. It isn’t like the people buying that crap were about to get any smarter.

  • William

    Poor little Daddy’s complicity. Who knew being the royal shoe saleslady could be so difficult. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/c139faa44c08843d6ec0a317898eafedf490e463d0706ce8f2879b4d399b49f8.png

  • Lyly Sirivong

    What a difficult life she has…

    Can’t take the criticism ? Don’t be a dickhead who runs for president.

  • disqus_lWwzrwNaw6

    Guess she never watched Fox and Friends when President Obama was in the White House. There was this old, venomous, orange-skinned loon with a bad wig who would phone in periodically, pretending to be a brilliant businessman and political philosopher, and crap would pour out of his mouth like crap from a waste pipe. It was ugly stuff.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Ivanka didn’t even know was the president until last year.

  • Longstreet63

    Won’t somebody have pity on the poor souls who were born multimillionaires? Can’t the super rich ever catch a break? Isn’t it bad enough they sometime have to pay taxes? Or, you know, accountants to keep them from paying taxes?

  • Randy Riddle

    This whole family apparently has the largest collection of the world’s smallest violins.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      One for every occasion.

    • JoeChristmas

      Fucking gilded Stradivarius.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      No sympathy whatsoever.

      If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen.

      More directly, get out of our house.

  • anwisok

    I’m not quite sure, but I get a vague impression that Mr. Hurst may not be Ivanka’s biggest fan.

    • Phoenixdoglover

      That negative undertone is definitely there.

  • Suttree

    Just feel lucky you aren’t being shit on like Chelsea was, you spoiled fucking whiney bitchy brat. And no, no one really gives a flying fuck what you have to say about anything. Your “fans” just want to pump their shriveled little cocks while they stare at what your plastic surgeon gave ya.

    • jesterpunk

      Dont forget all the comments about Obama’s kids. That wasnt as bad as what Chelsea got but it was still pretty bad.

      • Suttree

        Very true!

  • JoeChristmas

    Maybe that $100 mil bribe she took form the Saudi’s will soften the blow.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    Well, what level of viciousness did she expect? I’m flexible enough to go there.

    • Miss Dill

      My coffee almost came out my nose when I read your non-comment. Thanks, I really needed a laugh this morning!

  • Painter of Goats

    Her comments might apply to a newly hatched middle school teacher on her first day with the little monsters darling students, but discovering mud is slung at the POTUS should not be surprising to anyone, especially one who’s father constantly slung mud at his predecessor.

    • Miss Dill

      Well, it’s not like any of them prepared for ANYTHING, apparently. Life for them is supposed to be a cake walk, dammit. Who knew that this Predisenting was so hard? Fortunately they seem to be making huge $$$ off it.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Fuck that guy.

    • FlownΩver

      And the daughter he rode in on.

  • YoBunnyBunny

    If my dad were as shitty as Donald, I’d be mortified for people to know that he’s my father. Actually, I’d be mortified to be related to all of the Trumps. Hell, they make me appreciate the petty criminals and asswipes in my own family.

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      i was thinking that yesterday or this morning when I saw that picture.
      For the rest of his life he’s going to do this:
      “My father is…(big sigh) Donald Trump.”

      Or maybe he’ll do what hte rest of us do and say Batman.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Dead Man Walking! ___ See the pics of Ivanka’s lil’ half brother Barron and MaMa Mel walking to the White House with Putin’s Pawn? We’re moving in….for a bit.
    I’ve seen more cheer in a graveyard.

    Felt sorry for the child.
    I understand Donald kept asking: “Who’s that kid and why is he following us?”

    (*I heard Mel only charged a new mink coat for allowing a photo of her holding his hand.)

    http://ww4.hdnux.com/photos/61/66/65/13069643/3/core_promo.jpg

    Note how his tiny appendage disappears inside her much larger hand.

    • Stulexington

      It’s a little worrying and sad that he’s walking that far away from his father, using his mother as a barrier.

    • NastyBossetti

      I’m relieved to see him in something other than a suit for once.

    • ariel_gee_398

      I’d love to know what Melania extracted in exchange for holding Donnie’s hand in public *and* moving in with him. She better see a significant increase in her allowance given those concessions.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      We don’t need the shirt Barron, we know you’re the expert in the family.

    • Mr. Blobfish

      Is that picture shopped? Kid doesn’t look to proportion. Also, trump boys not allowed outside without suit.

      • Persistent Tennessee Rain

        maybe it was Melon’s way of saying, “fuck you for making me move here.” It’s not like he can give the kid a beat down now without anyone noticing.

      • chortlingdingo

        He looks like he just had a sudden growth spurt. All awkward and rangey.

    • Chyron HR

      George Michael felt awkward as he began the slow walk to his new family home.

      “My uh, my dad got me the shirt. Um, I think it’s, um, ironic. (nervous laugh)”

    • chortlingdingo

      Honestly, Trump’s hands wouldn’t look so small if he wore a jacket that fitted him better.

    • Historicat

      Poor kid – he’s probably been dreading this moment for months.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    OT: Amaze your Republican friends as the debate over Puerto Rico statehood heats up possibly by pointing out Republicans officially support PR statehood in their party platform no matter what they say now that they contemplate the addition of a Democratic (deep blue) state.

    https://twitter.com/mattyglesias/status/874280092725391360

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump Infrastructure Weak.

    • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

      For just a moment I wasn’t sure if this was snark or just a normal wingnut misspelling.

      • Mavenmaven

        Just the facts.

  • JoeChristmas

    You asked for this bitch. You never said anything about birtherism or all the other Föx, teabaggerism of the last eight years.

  • Nounverb911

    So Ivanka, how are you celebrating World Day Against Child Labour?

    https://twitter.com/ilo/status/874150528586067970

    • Longstreet63

      Discount on sweat shop purses? Comes out of the workers’ pay, of course…

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Children in her sweatshop will get a full half hour lunch during their 16 hour shift this week

    • OneYieldRegular

      Obviously she’s celebrating it by complaining about how tough her own life is.

  • NastyBossetti

    If you all go away from the public eye forever and stop trying to completely ruin the country, people might start to be a little less vicious towards you.
    Might. It’s probably too late, but you can try!

  • CripesAmighty

    I look forward to her Signature line of tumbrels and blindfolds.

    • Suttree

      Will those also be highly flammable?

  • Nephilim

    There is a solution, Ivanka. Go home, go back to your businesses, go back to your sympathetic privileged friends, and shut the fuck up.

  • Me not sure

    When people are given contempt and viciousness, it is human nature to return it to from whence it came. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a899077712489de1402df86e92e17f6d4bbd3010dc04325cc26bbc1ccbdbe64a.jpg

  • MynameisBlarney

    Podhoretz not pulling any punches…

    https://twitter.com/jpodhoretz/status/874235958442553344

    • cmd resistor

      For some reason the other day I was remembering that thing where he was trying to discredit Carson’s claim that he was a bad kid and attacked people. He went ON and ON about how the story couldn’t be be true because of a belt buckle or something. It was embarrassing how stupid it was.

      • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

        carson claimed the only thing that stopped him from actually stabbing his friend was the kid’s belt buckle blocking the knife.
        And yeah, trump did a dumb “deconstruction” of it.
        It’s the dumb criticizing the dumb.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    He doesn’t have a birth certificate, or if he does, there’s something on that certificate that is very bad for him. Now, somebody told me — and I have no idea if this is bad for him or not, but perhaps it would be — that where it says ‘religion,’ it might have ‘Muslim.’ And if you’re a Muslim, you don’t change your religion, by the way

    • NastyBossetti

      Wait, birth certificates have a space for “religion?” Mine doesn’t. Maybe it’s fake. Maybe I’m illegal!

      • Skwerl the Taco Hunter

        It’s right below the check boxes for “Anchor baby” and “Terror baby”,

      • h4rr4r

        Some countries do. Not US birth certificates though.

  • The definition of “oppression” according to Ivanka:

    “Something vaguely uncomfortable that can’t be resolved by paying someone off.”

    Honey, if you were actually being oppressed you’d become a lead opponent of your fathers agenda.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    I can certainly see how she could have been blindsided by the viciousness, after the ridiculously kind and generous way that people, including her own father, treated Hillary and Obama.

  • JoeChristmas

    They’ll be her new fragrance lines: Oppression!! and Viciousness

    Calvin Klein whispery commercials.

  • Poly_Ester

    Czarina-in-waiting

    • Nounverb911

      Is Putin dating anyone now?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Yes, Wendy Deng, allegedly.

      • chortlingdingo

        For some reason, I just can’t imagine him dating anyone. Maybe it’s because he seems to be so lacking in any positive emotions?

  • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

    The viciousness started at home, Ivanka…just sayin’.

  • William
    • OddMan

      This is a perfect example of the crude crass memes and images that I have come to love here on Wonkette. Thank you Wonk for having the band width to allow us to comment not comment with gifs and images.

  • Michael R
  • Crystalclear12

    I am sorry, Ivanka, we reviewed your account and there zero fucks left to be given.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    These poor people, being thrust into the limelight so reluctantly. Why should they be criticized so vehemently just for wanting to destroy people’s lives. It’s not fair, I tells ya.

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Just in: Sessions is asking for a public hearing. I wonder if he thinks they’ll go easy on him because he was a fellow Senator?
    https://twitter.com/CNN/status/874282902963572736

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Anna Elizabeth, Tank Grrl

        xD

      • Good_Gawd_Yall

        stolen.

    • TheGrandWazoo2

      Well sure. In a public hearing he can answer all the questions with “I can’t answer that in a public hearing.”

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Exactly. The fucker…

      • Eileen Besse

        That answer = “Yes.”

    • CripesAmighty

      He’ll just flagrantly lie and dare em to do something about it (they won’t).

  • Nounverb911

    OT
    Cosby’s defense team has rested after one witness testified for six minutes.

    https://twitter.com/AP/status/874272970411266052

    https://twitter.com/stevenportnoy/status/874273529201647616

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Cocky or stupid? You decide.

      • Stulexington

        I’m gonna go with highly suspicious.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        On the one hand, having him testify probably would have opened the door to a lot of really nasty details they don’t want on the record. On the other, juries tend to be sympathetic when a prosecutor starts verbally beating down an old man.

    • ariel_gee_398

      They’ve already bribed the jury with a lifetime supply of Pudding Pops, their work is done.

      • Vicki Lawrence’s Covfefe

        Champagne-flavored Pudding Pops?

      • mailman27

        With extra horse tranquilizer!

    • TJ Barke

      Did this witness testify that “bitches set him up”?

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        It was a recall witness – one of the Detectives who worked the case, who was used to bring prior inconsistent statements made by the victim. That’s it.

        • TJ Barke

          So, essentially, yes then?

          • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

            Eh, they’re going for muddying the water enough to get one holdout. It’s all they’ve got. But the fact that no one actually testified in his defense is going to be something that gets a lot of discussion.

    • Bill D. Burger

      The ‘Proof is in the Pudding’…..and so are the pills.

    • Doug Langley

      Let me guess. The witness said “All right, Mason, you win! I’m the real rapist!!”

  • msanthropesmr

    Philip Larkin hit the nail on the head

    They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
    They may not mean to, but they do.
    They fill you with the faults they had
    And add some extra, just for you.

    But they were fucked up in their turn
    By fools in old-style hats and coats,
    Who half the time were soppy-stern
    And half at one another’s throats.

    Man hands on misery to man.
    It deepens like a coastal shelf.
    Get out as early as you can,
    And don’t have any kids yourself.

  • nightmoth
    • Antonin Dvorak

      Man, United’s PR department is pulling out all the stops! /s

      Seriously, though, that man is a national treasure.

      • nightmoth

        He’s flying Delta, but yes, he’s a good role model for us all. Nice to have a reminder of what acting presidential looks like!

  • Ilgattomorte

    Poor Ivanka. Daddy’s girl is just finding out that like can be so mean. She feels strongly about this subject and you can read all about it in her new book, “Women who Hurt”.

    In it she makes many deep observations like, “Jared … loves to remind me that life is a marathon, not a sprint. Which is why so many people experience mysterious diarrhea.”

    She also gives insight into the world of business. “My father is renowned for his negotiating skills, so I’ve been fortunate to learn from the very best…I negotiate daily on matters big and small. That paper boy won’t ever want to come up against me again.”

    In the end she touches on the meanness she has encountered lately with passages like, “Don’t gossip,” she warns of office life. While it’s sometimes easy to get caught up in ‘who said what about whom’, it is much easier to hire someone to spread gossip for you. Remember you can always fire that person later.”

    All in all, Ivanka gives practical advice for women trying to make it in this cruel modern world.

    • msanthropesmr

      I want my two dollars!

    • Shanzgood

      Bullying the paper boy is the next skill I want to learn as a powerful woman.

      • Doug Langley

        That’ll teach him to try and collect the money you owe him!

    • grindstone

      It’s like you’re inside her head!!

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      everybody knows gossip spreader is an unpaid intern’s job.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    All those shiny new Chinese trademarks will help ease the pain.

    • msanthropesmr

      Can complicity be trademarked?

      • Thorn Spike

        SNL says yes.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    So it turns out all those sexy bitches with no posting history I have to deny their friend requests on facebook are actually Russian spies. I appear to be more interesting than I thought myself.

    https://twitter.com/kenvogel/status/874264591777267713

    • Antonin Dvorak

      And they are all named Svetlana, I bet.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Ivanka. (Aaand back on topic.)

      • Ghenghis McCann

        Not at all. According to an email I found in my spam folder; “You Received a Wink from Yelizaveta (from Chelyabinsk, Russia)”

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          Is that what kids are calling STDs these days! Who knew?

      • Villago Delenda Est

        Or Melania. Or Ivana.

      • Crank Tango

        Ivana Humpalot.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        Peggy

        • Sally

          Melania. Ivansa.

        • SpideySenser

          Heh!

    • Crank Tango

      Whatever happened to the good old days, when fake hookers were just trying to steal my credit card info?

  • Jenny

    If only she knew someone who was constantly humiliated because she was a president’s daughter that she could commiserate with. Alas, she must carry the burden of being the daughter of a polarizing figure all alone.

    Shut up Ivanka.

  • BigCSouthside

    This “jobs training” thing pisses me off

    Know who had a detailed training program planned? Hillary fucking Clinton. AND she also would have kept your damn healthcare, and tried not to burn the planet down.

    God I fucking hate the Rust Belt.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    Oh, she’s being oppressed? In the King Arthur shakes Denis sort of way?

    I’ll show the entitled little bitch “oppressed”. Oh yes.

  • Mr. Blobfish

    I’m having trouble architecting a shit to give.

    • Aunt PithyPat

      Snort! Hah!

    • CripesAmighty

      Ftw.

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Yes, ftw.

  • Jgb979

    Infrastructure week should have Tara Reid provide the synopsis like the Discovery channel did for Shark week.
    https://www.discovery.com/tv-shows/shark-week/videos/shark-after-dark-tara-reid-said-what

    Politics is so mean u guys! The difference being your father is getting criticized for being an incompetent traitor that’s the congealed worst of humanity. Obama had some idiot asshole repeatedly saying he was born in kenya just because he was black.

  • Jennaratrix

    I have not one shred of sympathy.

    • Persistent Demme

      I only feel for Barron.
      The rest?
      Fuck ’em!

      • Jennaratrix

        Yeah. And I only feel for him until he grows up and turns out just like his asshole brothers. I don’t see how he can possibly avoid it.

        • Predisenting Ron

          Better drugs?

          • Jennaratrix

            Melania divorces Donald and raises Barron without him?

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Aww you can just smell the happiness of them being reunited.
    https://twitter.com/ianbremmer/status/874243832103174144

    • Shanzgood

      Jesus, it looks like they’re headed for the gallows.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        One can hope…

      • Shibusa

        Melania’s thinking about how soon she can wash left hand.

      • MamaBrown

        Rehearsing? Do they know something we don’t?

    • Jgb979

      Does Trump ever experience happiness? The only pictures I’ve seen him smiling are that redneck nightmare with Kid Rock and Sarah Palin, and when he was touching the orb of sauroman in Saudi Arabia.

      If the shit ever hits the fan, I hope melania hooks up with the same lawyers that got Suri Cruise out of Scientology.

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        I heard he was pretty happy mid stream at the Moscow Ritz…

      • Sally

        Why? She slept with him while he was married. She obviously is in their for the cash and publicity. Love is not in their prenup. She wanted to parent an heir, and had to promise to get her body back immediately. Such a loving relationship.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        This is a man who has never, best anyone can tell, ever had a pet.

        • SpideySenser

          If he did, he probably killed it.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        What, his weird rictus grimace doesn’t convince you? It seems pretty believable!

        Not at expressing happiness, of course. But that you should back away as quickly as you can, or else he might lunge at your face to bite it.

    • mailman27

      That kid’s only 11? He’s a tall drink o’ water.

      • Shanzgood

        And he’s obviously on a different diet plan than his dad.

      • Red Bird Ω

        You thirsty, bro? 😒

    • chortlingdingo

      Nice to see Barron wearing a t-shirt. Hopefully Melania lets him be a kid.

    • Once&futureFred

      At least that poor kid isn’t in a suit, every other pic I’ve seen of him he’s in a business suit, at 11 yrs old.

    • Sally

      Such a happy devoted family picture. Donnie and Mommy are frowning, and Baron Barron has his opinion of himself on his shirt. Nice to see there is NO humility in the entire family. Oh and Melania, nice boobs. Does Donnie tell you what size to blow them up to each morning? Look at their hands–they have NEVER held hands before January 20, and still don’t!

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Cover those arms, slut!

      • SpideySenser

        But…but…but – those arms are white!

      • Doug Langley

        It’s not the arms I’m staring at.

    • Persistent Demme

      Every time I see him, I think: “Run, Barron, run!”

    • Predisenting Ron

      You can SEE him counting the hours (or at least trying to, since he has his shoes on) until he can get away from them and back to the golf course.

    • Dinz6315

      Has that child ever in his short life smiled? Pictures of him don’t exactly abound. But never smiling.

  • OddMan

    All those ‘plans’ Ivanka supports.
    Ain’t none.
    Paul points to an article in the Atlantic by Derek Thompson titled, “The Potemkin Policies of Donald Trump”
    https://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2017/06/donald-trump-economic-policies/529554/?

    https://twitter.com/paulkrugman/status/874266915203682306

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      Happy Infrastructure Week! Unfortunately, the only thing Donnie managed to build last week was an obstruction of justice case against himself

      • Red Bird Ω

        As an engineer who sees how crappy American infrastructure has gotten, that makes me viciously angry.

        • Shanzgood

          OT: In my next life, I’m going to be a structural engineer. Parking garages and bridges are my favorite things.

    • UnsaltedSinner

      Making plans would be a lot of work.

    • BosGrl

      I read that as “The Pokemon Policies of Donald Trump”, which is “Catch them all, then deport them”.

  • Persistent Tennessee Rain

    So Dumbella didn’t see how her daddy treated the last occupant of the White House?

    • iceweasels

      She did, but that was different because he was, like, totally black.

      • Sally

        No? Black? No wonder Queen Melania wants to stay in the Gilded Tower with the Heir to the golf courses.

  • UnsaltedSinner
  • Christopher Story
  • eyelashviper

    Whatta fambly of Whining Twits.
    Ivanka, just STFU and go back to modeling. This is quite a look, inspirational perhaps, must have been a vision of your Daddy’s hotel stay in Moscow:

    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ac/b3/18/acb318ec1d5d3d27e81f67aeffc4ff9c.jpg

  • CripesAmighty
    • anon_the_great

      Well, yannow, all they wanted to do was create a safe space for white folk, just like Trumpanzees

      • Predisenting Ron

        A safe space. One might even call it some ‘living room.’

    • Sally

      I have to say, those men surrounding the Kaiser look a bit more human that Jared and the dead eyed Trump spawn.

  • CripesAmighty

    And in his first meeting of the Reichskanzler, Dump tells the ‘forgotten men’ he’s gonna fix ’em right up with ‘tax cuts’, ‘starve the beast’ and ‘trillions in gains in the stock market’. Here’s your hat, Trumpanzees.

  • Roadstergal

    Oh, bless your fuckin’ dainty little grifty heart, Ivanka.

  • Oneofthebobs

    This level of viciousness is unacceptable. We need to raise it.

    • crisptickle

      well, at least I raised your p. (O, there is no p any more, sadface)

  • anon_the_great

    “…antiquated quirk in the American electoral system.”

    With due respect but NO NO NO NO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Lord Dampnut was installed by the dead hand of Enslavers

    • Shanzgood

      Who ever expected the reach of White Supremicist policies to extend so far?

      Oh, wait.

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Funny how the EC is the last slavery-related government institution we have, but we can’t get rid of it because those it benefits refuse to give up their 3:1 advantage in presidential elections.

  • Red Bird Ω

    Start the morning off spicy!

  • BrendaKay

    Oh, Evan, you have such a way with words. You’ve captured exactly how I am feeling about the dear princess.

    • BosGrl

      That’s “Dear Princess” – it’s one of her titles.

      • Dinz6315

        I read that as “one of her titties” and wondered what the other was named.

  • sadboy

    Ohhh, if only a crappy overpriced brand of clothing and accessories could help salve the pain and rage of those struggling to pay for food and shelter and medicine while they watch their children and elderly family members grow sick and die. Perhaps a line of crappy overpriced fragrances might help?

  • beatbort

    Let them eat lipstick!

  • OneYieldRegular

    Did Trump pay to have all of his kids raised in a Skinner Box? It’s as though they have zero idea of who their father is or of how he’s behaved all his life.

    • CripesAmighty

      Yes, and a $10000 bill drops when they peck the dot.

      • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

        A salacious detail in the Trump prison memoirs — incidentally which inspired the invention of the word “barfyawn,” which means simultaneously feeling complete revulsion toward while being completely unsurprised about learning about a fact — “Peck The Dot” was the name of the game that Daddy taught her to play, and was to never tell anyone about.

        Of course America had earlier learned of “The Dot,” a very specific birthmark upon part of his anatomy, photographically documented during his mental breakdown period that played out on the social media service named Twitter, until his downfall of …

        –Fragments from future history books

  • ahughes798

    I love articles that end with “Oh go fuck yourself, Ivanka.” Great job!

    • Persistent Demme

      Amen.
      I’m fed up with Trump family nonsense, but when I saw that our dear Evan was the author, I knew there would be a pithy “Oh, go fuck yourself, Ivanka” in there somewhere.

  • Shibusa
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Ted Lieu is a national treasure. Unlike Ivanka, who is national trash.

    • Dinz6315

      Love that man.

  • RugzYaBurnt

    Ivanka Trump is not a fucking liberal. It’s a simple matter of actions speaking louder than words, and standing by and smiling like a zombie while your father rips through the fabric of our democracy is not a “liberal” thing to do. Everyone who ever thought they’d get anywhere by appealing to Ivanka’s better angels is a double-fucked idiot.

  • MamaBrown

    “the level of viciousness” she wasn’t expecting?? This woman imbibed viciousness with her mother’s milk, she’s heard her father’s never-ending stream of vitriol since childhood, and the New York press and New York society didn’t exactly lay big smooches all over her sainted Daddy’s ass either (“short fingered vulgarian”, anyone?). You are a lying, grifting, disingenuous piece of work, Ivanka, and I think you will look adorable and chic in prison orange.

    • SnarkON

      Pretty sure there was no “mother’s milk” for Ivanka, though, because that would have wrecked her mother’s breasts.

      • MamaBrown

        You think old world Ivana didn’t know the value of breastfeeding, though? I bet there was an army of solid, peasant Czech “nannies” who provided the needful! Ivana was too busy redecorating the various properties in the signature understated, elegant way that is synonymous with the Trump name!

    • Persistent Demme

      I’ll bet poor little Barron knows all about Trump family viciousness.

  • Sally

    She also lied about Judaism being one of the three top religions in the world..it’s sixth or seventh. But hey, she’s so used to spitting out crap and having everyone nod and applause, what the hell. No wonder the poor little princess is confused. She thought everyone who voted against him would just forgive and forget and bow down like good little slaves. Not a chance, bimbo.

    • SnarkON

      She meant that it’s one of the top three cool, trendy religions in the world.

      • CripesAmighty

        Orthodox, that is. Those Reform squishes are so passé.

      • MamaBrown

        Well, it is part of her brand.

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      From the lists I saw, Judaism is around number 14, right after Sikhism

  • Les Appentis De la résistance

    You really should be able to maximize your profits by using child slave labor in foreign countries without everyone getting so judgy about it. No fair!

  • SnarkON

    “There’s a level of viciousness that I was not expecting. … I was a little bit blindsided by on a personal level.”

    Hmm. One wonders how Obama felt when her asshole father launched all of his birther bullshit.

    • Skaarphy

      Or how Ivanka felt.

      • Predisenting Ron

        ‘Obam-who?’

  • AnniNoone

    Remember that time the un-Beavis brother reduced human lives to the importance of Skittles and insinuated refugees are terrorists? She pushed back on that really hard, right?

    • MizzMazz

      Far as I know, she didn’t say shit, but I loved Skittles comeback, paraphrasing from memory: Skittles are candy, refugees are people, and you’re stupid for dragging us into this.

    • mancityRed6

      “Skittles go right to my hips and then dad tries to grab them, so they’re like bad and stuff.”

      • Teto85

        You would owe me a new keyboard if I didn’t have a keyboard protector.

  • Wookie Monster

    Was she in a coma during her Dad’s presidential campaign? Like when he was calling his opponents names like “Lyin Ted” and “Crooked Hillary?”

    • Les Appentis De la résistance

      Or when he flew around the country condemning communities of refugees that have thrived here for decades : “the Republican presidential candidate suggested that Somali refugees have turned Minnesota into a hotbed for terror recruitment and frayed its social safety net.”

      http://www.startribune.com/donald-trump-s-swipe-at-minnesota-somalis-met-with-outrage/389353501/

    • sgt. jmk of the résistance

      Oh no, all that was ok because reasons… and locker room talk… and the rough-and-tumble of the campaign.

      But criticism?? Heavens, no!!

  • AyeDiosDrinko

    As a person that works with high school seniors in an urban area….. lady, what in the fuck are you TALKING ABOUT. Technical colleges are all many minorities (in poor areas) can afford (precluding any scholarships or grants, which Daddy T wants to gut), and they churn out graduates daily. My city’s Tech College has a higher graduation rate then ANY four year college in the STATE.

    What a brash insult to pretend like “all of a sudden” technical skills are valued. Just fucking say “we need to keep our slave class slaves.” UGH.

  • therblig
  • CripesAmighty
    • Doug Langley

      True story: I took my sister to see Alien. When we came back, Mom had dinner ready. Spaghetti. You can guess the rest.

      • CripesAmighty

        Oh, dear.

      • Chris

        True story. Saw Alien when it first came out, long, long ago. Right after all you can eat at Chesapeake Bay Seafood House. Am I the only person who thought “how cute” when the alien popped out of the chest? Cute, like puppy cute. I have a feeling I’m just wrong on many levels.

  • pgjack

    Maybe Ivanka should cue up some of her dear daddy’s campaign speeches if she wants some real ugly viciousness. She lies with a straight face and impeccable grooming. She either learned that from her dad or is a congenital liar. I think I heard the GOP accuse someone of being a congenital liar but I can’t think of who it could be. So hard to remember things before January. Sad, very sad. Ivanka, you are morally deficient.

  • Mehmeisterjr

    I blame Ivanka entirely for the fact that the price of world’s smallest violins has gone through the roof. It’s classic supply-and-demand: Everybody wants one but now only the very rich can afford one.

  • Iam Reading

    This rich little entitled snowflake simply isn’t used to the peasantry speaking to her this way.

  • Why did our Wonkette make me watch five minutes of Ivanka bullshitting about jobs? Is that the wrong video?

  • Sandwichman

    But ya gotta give her daddy this: she is a piece of ass.

    • AyeDiosDrinko

      We all have to be good at something.

    • Chris

      Amazing the body parts you can buy when daddy has money.

      • Dinz6315

        Yes. There’s been a great deal of revision.
        A great big deal.

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    She’s right! Why, this stuff never happened to other Presidents. Very often. Recently. Historically, that is. Not as bad as it is happening to Teh Donny. Oh shit, who are we kidding here. She’s either lying or ignorant…maybe both. It could be genetic. Perhaps she would like to address whether her beloved pa has contributed, at all, to the fix he finds himself in? No? Thought not.

  • azeyote

    people hate you, cause you’re an ignorant, entitled, classless, wannabee who makes money off cheap fashion crap made in sweatshops – go fuck yourself – you will be shamed and forgotten along with your brothers, and dear old dad

  • dshwa

    The guy who was the loudest voice of the birther movement thinks he’s getting treated badly? Boo fucking hoo.

  • Jukesgrrl

    “I think some of the distractions and some of the ferocity … I was a little bit blindsided by on a personal level.”
    So I take it she hasn’t turned on a TV or looked at the Internet her entire adult life. Otherwise she would know how vicious Republicans can be about Democratic families. For instance, we can see she’s wearing a sleeveless dress. Did she never notice when Michelle Obama was excoriated for wearing the same thing? She’s helping her father with policy. Is she unaware that Hillary Clinton was raked over the coals for trying to get healthcare for the American people?

    As for Fox and Fiends, do they have a daily Trump segment? It seems like someone from that family is spewing their BS on that program every morning.

  • Debbie the Unpaid Protester

    Grow up, Ivanka

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Did they actually run “With a few exceptions” continuously in the chyron, whenever she spoke, or did they have a guy in the corner of the screen signing it over and over, or was it in a little pre-show blurb like they do for informercials, or was it a declaration at the end, like movies regarding any harm to animals?

    • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

      needed moar garrett morris.

  • Predisenting Ron

    Interesting to realise that if it hadn’t been for her Daddy’s hate-on for Barack Obama, Ivanka the Terrible would be living out her life in near-complete obscurity.

  • whitroth

    Trouble is, she’s inside daddy’s bubble, and really and truly doesn’t hear/read anything outside of it.

    Just as a trivial example – the famous video/animated gif of his hand on her on tv – I HAVENEVER, AND WOULD NEVER, TOUCH MY DAUGHTERS THAT WAY. He’s a fucking sexual predator, girly.

    But, of course, she won’t hear that, not having good taste to read Wonkette daily….

  • whitroth

    Oh, and Evan – I actually don’t think he’s our President. The reason I don’t think so is, based on his statements and tweets, he doesn’t seem to be able to think through an entire thought. It’s as though he thinks, “I can do…”, but never gets to “but if I do, then…” In other words, I don’t think he is competent – that’s in the sense of a legal hearing to determine is someone is competent to stand trial – to *understand* the Oath of Office.

    • covfefesumgame0005

      easy to see that whole family never got any of the word problems in elementary school

  • TX Dept. of Space Tacos

    sashia, malia, and chelsea are rolling their eyes so hard right now.

    Somebody needs to photoshop a picture of them together with a “Bitch, please” on it.

  • SadDemInTex
  • Ducksworthy

    Is she complaining about the self perpetuating autocracy again?

  • jkarov

    Of course, it doesn’t help that she’s lived every day of her Princess lifestyle completely isolated from any hardships, worries about money, and is a spoiled rotten brat

  • whitroth

    Ok, it has to be said: See the violence inherent in the system?

    Hmmm.. a ceremony with a bunch of elected watery tarts is no reasonable way to invest a government…..

  • Shane

    So according to her mom, her wonderful daddy ripped out chunks of her mom’s hair and scalp while he raped her, -but it’s the normal people who recognize her father as the monster he is, based on the appalling things that come out of his mouth, who are viscous. Got it. Thanks for the help Titsy.

  • handyhippie65

    she hasn’t caught half the grief of bam’z kids, or clinton’s. she needs to take a good look at daddy with open eyes.

  • Wait wait wait wait, Princess Grifter, who road to power by her daddy paying homage to people who literally want to kill other Americans because they are brown/liberal/gay….is upset by the viciousness?

  • Truly Madly Derply

    When I see pics of her with a bone through her nose, or eating watermelon, or being lynched, or scores of sad sick maladroit basement dwellers claiming she’s really a man and LOOK YOU CAN SEE A DICK UNDER HIS DRESS and when her name is twisted to dehumanize her or when her children are attacked and branded as animals. . . well, she can’t even complain then because she didn’t take a public stand against it when it was happening to the family that preceded hers in the White House. . . you know, the family that BELONGED there.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      Well sad! Bravo!

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