I spend money on the same things that people are doing or have already done. Listen to the same songs millions of people listen to, wear the same brands, wear the same cologne, watch the same movies. Everything that i am doing is being done by someone and maybe in a better way too. I am studying for the same degree millions of others are studying for too and most of them are even better than me and are also interested in what they do.

Today, i was on my way to buy myself some shirts from ralph lauren for my birthday as i had saved money for that but i realised why even spend my money on something millions of people already have. There are thousand of arrogant bullies who have bullied me in the past and people who dont even respond to my greetings who are in my class and wear the same brand and i was foolish enough to think that by spending 100 euros on something i would be different than the others. Went to take an exam yesterday and saw people greeting and meeting each other. Some were wearing fancy watches, some were buff and flirting with women and i realized i hated myself. I was the only non white guy present there and the slutty women werent even looking at me. I felt an overpowering desire to fucking slap the shit out of all the women present there but as soon as the exam finished, i ran home, with my head held down and sat on the couch feeling safe and comfortable. It has always been something or the other with me. Either some mental problem or the other. Fuck life and fuck people.