As an individual whose hormone levels were formerly in the male range, and are now in the female range - and who used to be known as a guy and is now generally known as a girl - I'd actually like to comment on a couple of these things from my perspective.

I occasionally see really troubling things. I have been seeing more and more of them as late, probably because I have recently befriended three men, whereas I didn't have any male friends before.

Hearing these sorts of things was pretty common back when my male friends included me in that ingroup. Having not been particularly exposed to feminist ideals or gender-based discrimination, very little of it particularly stood out as demeaning or dangerous, until I looked back on it years later and realized what was going on. I imagine most people who say these things don't have a firm understanding on why they are bad, or that they're even bad to begin with. And yes, a lot of that is self-perpetuated by not taking women seriously when these issues are brought up.

A lot of them have never been a part of any group disparaged in this way on a day-to-day basis, and as such there's just no perspective on what's happening outside of the superiority bubble.

• "unlike women, it is torture for a man to live without sex"

An exaggeration, to be sure, but my sex drive was certainly higher and more painful to not succumb to back when I was at male testosterone levels. Also perpetuation of the myth that women generally don't want sex.

• "if a man sees a sexy woman, it is very hard for him to control himself"

An excuse, based on the whole sex drive difference thing and latent objectification of women.

• "men think about sex all the time"

Extremely accurate both to my pre-HRT experience and apparent experiences of my guy friends, albeit perhaps out of context. High sex drive -> more thinking about sex, whether you want to or not. I don't think this is necessarily a negative thing, regardless.

• "men can only learn over time whether or not a woman's feelings are rational"

Any individual can only learn over time whether or not another individual's feelings are rational. Not that this always matters anyway. Regardless, framing it as a question of unequal gender experience is sexist inversion of the truth - again, perpetuated by the common mythos of women being driven by feelings and unable to perceive logic like men can, yadda yadda

• "men have very good reasons to beat their annoying wives, even if he shouldn't do it"

Fucking hell, what? That's fucked up and I have no excuse for people who think this. Getting to this viewpoint absolutely requires seeing women as objects, or lessers, and a wife as a trophy accomplishment to accompany the beautiful and superior man-life. Ugh.

• "testosterone makes you incredibly angry and aggressive, you wouldn't understand"

No, testosterone just gives that anger and aggression a better-tooled body to come out with. If men are more aggressive on the basis of testosterone specifically, then it is as an end result of the physical effects testosterone has on the body - studier bones, thicker muscles and skin, better fat metabolism - which then leads to greater confidence or ego in terms of physical prowess, thus allowing anger to come out more violently.

What really makes most people angry and aggressive is a percieved slight. I would not be surprised if men were more likely to feel slighted in a given situation than women were, especially if the situation involved gender or sex differences in any way - girls are more likely to expect the short end and boys the better deal, because that's how things have generally been set up in their pasts. This leads to relationships where the woman is expected, on some level, to be submissive to the man, and if there's any place the two are even - like, for example, when they are both annoying eachother in equal measure - the man will have expected the upper hand in the engagement and, not having it, feel slighted.

This is a problem with how our society works, not with any physical reality of the body or mind. An excuse, not a reason.

I often see men talking about how they despise being treated as potential abusers, as potential rapists. They hate being described by blanket statements like "all men are rapists" or "all men are trash". If men are not as bad as some men say they are, why don't I ever see any men speaking out against these terrible things being said?

Peer pressure, the appeal of conformity, fear of rejection. Plenty of people in plenty of situations fail to stand up for their beliefs if they think it'll end badly for them, or if it contradicts a popular opinion. This is especially true for those who, in this example, would never, EVER physically harm a woman, but fail to see how degrading some of the things are that other men are saying.

"#Notallmen" is not the answer; I cannot know which man is a violent sex-crazed sociopath and who isn't.

I cannot know which middle-eastern-looking individual is a violent islamic extremist suicide bomber and who isn't, and yet I think most Muslims are inherently good people.

I cannot know which burnt-necked MAGA-hatted individual is going to try to hurt or intimidate me and my SO because we look too queer, but I still think most of them are inherently good people.

I think most PEOPLE are good people. I cannot know which of them are going to affect my life or that of someone dear to me in a negative way, but that doesn't cause me to think people as a whole are a bad bunch.