0
1

Asking about genitals (self.GCdebatesQT)

generibuspronouns: I/me/mine が 投稿

Trans people tell me it's rude to ask them if they have a dick or a vagina. Why? Everyone who sees me knows i habe a vagina, should I be offended at everyone who looks at me?

全 43 件のコメント
並べ替え:
新着 (提案されたアイデア)
ベストトップ論争中古い順Q&A

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I think when it doesn't matter, it's inappropriate. Genitals have an inherently sexual context, and really only have place being brought into conversation by a sex partner, a healthcare provider, an educator, or their owner. Don't believe me? How would you respond to me asking a 7yo girl details about her clitoral and labial development, just out of idle curiosity, or even whether she's got an "innie or an outie down there"? That's p goddamned inappropriate. Make her a 27yo woman and it's more appropriate, but still inappropriate, unless we were gonna have sex or something. Make her trans, and it's still inappropriate.

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (27子コメント)

https://www.reddit.com/r/GCdebatesQT/comments/6dfxel/why_shouldnt_i_ask_about_your_genitals_if_youre

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (26子コメント)

yes, but it never addressed how it was rude. Just that it is rude to know a person's genitals.

I don't go out of my way to ask a person, and typically you can even tell what genitals a trans person has and yes, I mean has. Because regardless of the current set up, you know what they were born with.

It's not really rude to know the genital configuration of a person, but is it rude to ask? Sure. But it kinda matters in the only times I could find it relevant to ask.

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (25子コメント)

I'm not saying it's rude to know. And OP isn't asking if it's rude to know.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (24子コメント)

OP is asking why it's rude to know. That's the entire point of the question.

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (23子コメント)

Technically OP is asking both, and you and they are both acting like like OP is asking a single question. This conflation looks deliberate, because the argument is framed like the permissibility of knowing should justify the permissibility of asking.

Trans people tell me it's rude to ask them if they have a dick or a vagina. Why? Everyone who sees me knows i habe a vagina, should I be offended at everyone who looks at me?

Why should it be rude to ask? It's not rude to know, so why should it be rude to ask? That's what both OP and the linked OP are saying. It's a non-sequitor at best.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (22子コメント)

We know men have penises. We know women have vaginas. We know in order to become pregnant, you need a vagina. That in order to reproduce, you need a penis and a vagina. We know what sex people are by looking at them (in most cases.)

The only time this becomes a problem is if we're dealing with a perfectly passing trans person who blends into our cis society. When we're dealing with an obviously trans person, we know what their original genital situation was, so we kinda know one way or the other.

I mostly see this brought up in dating context. Before sex is even on the table, and yeah, it absolutely matters. People shouldn't have to be up for anything.

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (21子コメント)

I agree.

I think you're being too generous to OP, though. I think they think they should be able to ask any trans person at any time about their genitals, and if ever called out on it, go, "well I've got a reasonable idea of what Susan's genitals look like, so why not yours?"

[–]generibuspronouns: I/me/mine[S] [スコア非表示]  (8子コメント)

I agree.

I think you're being too generous to OP, though. I think they think they should be able to ask any trans person at any time about their genitals, and if ever called out on it, go, "well I've got a reasonable idea of what Susan's genitals look like, so why not yours?"

So what's wrong with asking?

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (7子コメント)

I think when it doesn't matter, it's inappropriate. Genitals have an inherently sexual context, and really only have place being brought into conversation by a sex partner, a healthcare provider, an educator, or their owner. Don't believe me? How would you respond to me asking a 7yo girl details about her clitoral and labial development, just out of idle curiosity, or even whether she's got an "innie or an outie down there"? That's p goddamned inappropriate. Make her a 27yo woman and it's more appropriate, but still inappropriate, unless we were gonna have sex or something. Make her trans, and it's still inappropriate.

[–]generibuspronouns: I/me/mine[S] [スコア非表示]  (6子コメント)

I think when it doesn't matter, it's inappropriate. Genitals have an inherently sexual context, and really only have place being brought into conversation by a sex partner, a healthcare provider, an educator, or their owner.

So when people look at me and know that I have a vag, they are being inappropriate? Should I demand that people close their eyes when around me?

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (11子コメント)

I actually know exactly what OP means. Take me at my word, it's not out of malice.

[–]Me_MelissaSchrödinger's Male [スコア非表示]  (10子コメント)

Based on my own interactions with them, I'm gonna be skeptical unless you have a specific reason to not read them that way. This person even earlier today has made the dumbest arguments to a point. I would not put it past them to not even realize the conflation they're implying between "knowing" and "asking".

[–]generibuspronouns: I/me/mine[S] [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

the dumbest arguments

i.e. I said something you didn't have a good answer to

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

I think gen was just making counter hypotheticals. In a hypothetical situation, anything is plausible.

I think you should just take the post for what it's asking. Is it rude to know that cis females have vaginas?

[–]veronalady [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

Here’s what I think anyone pushing the “sex is a social construct and therefore it is up to me to decide if my reproductive organs are male or female” has an absolute moral duty to account for: if sex is not a “real” and meaningful political or economic category, on what basis did the parents of the hundreds of millions of women and girls lost to femicide know who to kill? This is not state mandated, low-resolution social engineering: each individual family, each individual father, and sometimes mother, has made a decision to abort this baby, but not that baby. Each individual village midwife or grandmother or mother in law in a village somewhere has decided to take this child and leave them by the side of the road to die, but not that child. These people are not scientists and they are certainly not feminists. . . . how do they know who to kill?

How do men know who to rape?

How can we say that abortion bans are propagated by sexist ideas about women's rights and obligatory roles if "men get abortions to"?

Why are there so few people with breasts in the field of mathematics?

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (12子コメント)

The number of people who just knew, KNEW I had a vagina while pregnant was so humiliating.

[–]Samxxxantha [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

I can assume you do based on that, but I don't know if you have a clitoris so large that it gets mistaken for a penis.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

you can assume my clitoris is as large as you want, doesn't change the fact that I've got a vagina and am capable of gestating life.

[–]TheWakalixGender-Nihilist Rationalist Feminist, Ace NB [スコア非表示]  (7子コメント)

Knowing is not the same as asking.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (6子コメント)

Right, but if people know I have a vagina, that's not really a big deal. I don't care. It's common knowledge that women have vaginas. It's not an invasion of privacy and I don't think it changes who I obviously am as a person. It's just common knowledge. Like the fact that I have brown skin.

Why is it suddenly an invasion to know what a trans woman has? How isn't it fair game?

[–]TheWakalixGender-Nihilist Rationalist Feminist, Ace NB [スコア非表示]  (5子コメント)

Right, but if people know I have a vagina, that's not really a big deal. I don't care.

Yes. Except for being outed as trans, there's not really much of a problem with people knowing what your genitals are like.

It's common knowledge that women have vaginas.

...most, but I really don't feel like turning this discussion into the "are trans women women" debate.

It's not an invasion of privacy and I don't think it changes who I obviously am as a person.

Right. Knowing is not an invasion of privacy.

It's just common knowledge. Like the fact that I have brown skin.

Well, evidently, since you're asking a person about their genitals, it's not as obvious as the color of their skin.

Why is it suddenly an invasion to know what a trans woman has? How isn't it fair game?

It's an invasion to ask.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (4子コメント)

In situations where the context matters, it's an invasion not to know.

[–]TheWakalixGender-Nihilist Rationalist Feminist, Ace NB [スコア非表示]  (3子コメント)

Are we talking about people who are going to have sex? Because that's not the context I thought we were discussing.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (2子コメント)

The context is based off of situations where it would matter. In day to day interactions, I don't see a need to know if this person has a dick or not. In situations where nudity could become a thing, it absolutely matters.

[–]TheWakalixGender-Nihilist Rationalist Feminist, Ace NB [スコア非表示]  (1子コメント)

That's not the feeling I got from the OP. It seemed like the OP had been talking to trans people, outside of sexual contexts, and asking them what their genitals were like. In sexual contexts, I think it's okay to ask about genitals.

[–]triangleavenue [スコア非表示]  (0子コメント)

I don't just mean sexual contexts. I mean, locker rooms, any place where nudity might become a thing.

Why can't trans people be open about their genitals? Why is it so weird for them? It's not weird for other people.