My right hand never says “no” to me.
Always clean.
Never asks me stupid questions when I’m trying to come back to Earth.
Bothers me none till I want more.
100% free of charge.
One minute after I’m done I can refocus on whatever I was doing. Just like that.
Chances of it stealing my children from me: 0%
Chances of brainwashing my children against me: 0%
Chances of it failing to please me: 0%
Chances of it ever consider ANYTHING as “rape”: 0%
Chances of filing a false allegation of ANYTHING against me: 0%
Chances of answering the door and finding out it’s the SWAT team because my hand called them on me, just because: 0%
Chances of an STD: 0%
Chances of an unwanted pregnancy and child support for 20 years: 0%
Chances of it ever presenting me with divorce rape papers: 0%
Chances of it cheating on me: 0%
Chances of a hypergamous monkey branch: 0%
Chances of my loosing house and truck and dog and any property and whatever you can mention: 0%
Chances of it trying to get me away from my friends: 0%
Chances of it trying to get me away from my hobbies: 0%
Chances of it failing me in any way whatsoever: 0%
Chances of telling me I’m doing it wrong: 0%

Wanna ask me why I prefer my right hand to an unkind, stinking, spiteful, cheating, unpleasant, poisonous cunt?

tl;dr: my right hand is safe, clean, free, not stupid and loyalty guaranteed. No cunt can match that. No way. Not ever. Call it “The Hand of Freedom” So, on the ONE HAND . . . ALL of the above goodness. Then the cunt option means: poison, pain, rot, death. It is not difficult, I’ll take the HAND. It’s so simple. It’s right there, at the end of my arm.
I have been dealt a good HAND.