| Instantiations of Nift XVII |
[Jan. 4th, 2007|02:47 am]
Scott
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Dante's Divine Comedy, the musical! With classical, rock, punk, and rave. Coming soon to a Pope near you! Darnit, I need to get to the Vatican, quick!
From  nobleplatypus: Covered in BEEEES!!!
Hundreds of Frenchmen held a protest against the New Year in Nantes.
Just when you thought things in Iraq couldn't get any worse, the ghost of Saddam Hussein rises to torment the living.
Also, in Afghanistan, our missiles are being misdirected by genies.
Also, Osama bin Ladin is ten feet tall and has trampled twenty-seven people.
Protagoras trains Euathlus to become a lawyer. They agree that Euathlas will pay Protagoras soon as Euathlus wins a case, but then Euathlus goes off and doesn't do any lawyering at all. Protagoras sues Euathlus, thus creating possibly the world's only court case that is also a logical paradox.
Jesus Christ: son of God, lord of heaven, savior of the world, and possible future king of Poland
Boring old Catholicism: be good or you'll go to hell. Shiny new Catholicism: be good or the Pope will kill you in your sleep. Article isn't important, just look at the picture.
A friend of mine once told me about the Noncompetitiveness Game. Two people face off, and whoever tries hardest to win, loses. I thought it would be impossible to pull off in the real world, but apparently I was wrong. Behold the sport of Mind-Ball.
Slate asks the important questions, such as Did The Vatican Steal Jesus' Foreskin So People Would Shut Up About The Savior's Penis?
By typing something like "Japanese man" or "Japanese woman" into Google Images and checking the first result, you can end up learning a lot about national stereotypes.
One of the many stories about reincarnated children I keep hearing.
Problem: You're a lunatic who doesn't like the Pope. Solution: Kill the Pope. Problem: He's already dead. Solution: Dig up his body, then mangle it. Problem: Is that really legal? Solution: Once you've dug up his body, drag it into a courtroom and put it on trial. Problem: What if they find him innocent? Solution: Threaten to kill all of the judges. Bonus: You're also the Pope. THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED!!!
The best haircut ever.
Why buy electricity from heavily-polluting power plants when you can just put a windmill on top of your house? I think I might actually do this once I get my own home, if I have the money.
Best conversations overheard in the office. Key quote: "Yeah, I have a twin brother, about my age"
Best conversations overheard in college. Key quote: "The only muscle innervated by the genitofemoral nerve is the cremaster, the muscle which raises the testicles. Therefore, one way to test the viability of this nerve is to stroke the patient's inner thigh and see if the testicles ascend. Of course, you should explain this procedure to your patient before you perform it...........especially if you're an ophthalmologist"
Dave Barry's Year In Review: 2006 |
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