上位 200 件のコメント全て表示する 316

[–]tommygunner91Everyone wanted to fuck the rabbit 223 ポイント224 ポイント  (23子コメント)

HI GUYS, I'M PLANNING A TRIP TO EUROPE AND HOPE TO GET UK DONE IN A DAY (I HEARD IT WAS ONLY ABOUT 700 MILES LONG AND I COMMUTE 70 MILES A DAY SO SHOULD BE EASY).
LOOKING TO SEE SOME CASTLES, LOCHS, MOUNTAINS + HADRIANS WALL BUT MUST BE WITHIN 20 MILES OF LONDON.
REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING INTO MY IRISH/ENGLISH/SCOTTISH ROOTS.
WILL I BE ABLE TO CARRY A SMALL KNIFE (AROUND 12 INCHES) WITH LASER SIGHT AND FORWARD MOUNTED COMFORT GRIP AROUND FOR PERSONAL PROTECTION?
ALSO I LOOK FORWARD TO TASTING BRITISH CUISINE, I WANT TO SEE HOW BRITISH MCDONALDS TASTES COMPARED TO USA MCDONALDS.

BYE GUYS! AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!

This post seems popular so I wanted to share this

[–]justafewafterwork 46 ポイント47 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This is incredibly complete.

[–]pajamakitten 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (4子コメント)

AMERICA = BIG AND DIVERSE, EUROPE = SMALL AND HOMOGENEOUS

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (9子コメント)

You missed "quaint" as a description for everything.

I've confiscated so many fuck off knives from Americans. I don't understand. They're often so long and deadly you'll probably take your hand off fumbling for it while the guy with the penknife has you by the throat

[–]NEWSBOT3 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (6子コメント)

there was a thread on /r/london recently where some guy took a weapon through the airport, but got it confiscated at the Harry Potter studios tour by their security, who threatened to report it to the police and they were really worried. Deleted now, sadly.

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

The worst thing is that Watford isn't in London

[–]takhanaSoutherner exiled to the North 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yes, this frustrates me a lot. "I'm going to London! We're going to the Harry Potter studios!"

NO. You're going to WATFORD. It's a different place.

[–]PM_ME_GREAT_TUNES 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (0子コメント)

*Y'ALL but otherwise spot on.

[–]qwertygasmWill fight you for food 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (3子コメント)

American here, you forgot to point out that you're American.

[–]AbsoluteRipsnorter 107 ポイント108 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I sneezed in the bank the other day and got shot by a cop. Unfortunately I didn't have any health insurance so I now owe $500,000 for the bandage and painkillers they gave me at the hospital. At least I still have my freedom though.

[–]that-therei put my toaster in the cupboard 64 ポイント65 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Unfortunately I didn't have any health insurance so I now owe $500,000 for the bandage and painkillers they gave me at the hospital.

lololol you liberal fucktard, do you wanna live in a commie hellhole with healthcare?! this is america!! we got freedom which means NOT speaking german and not payin for liberal dickheads diseases!

[–]WillyVWadeDeja Vu! I've just been in this place before! 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"You're under arrest for sneezing whilst black!"

[–]cr0ninbergWeird Keyboard Lady 93 ポイント94 ポイント  (33子コメント)

Did you know? I'm part Irish.

[–]wyetyeSheds on fire 50 ポイント51 ポイント  (20子コメント)

That's what baffles me about Americans. National pride is so important to them, yet at any opportunity they'll tell you that they're Irish, German, Italian etc

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (6子コメント)

And then you tell them your grandparents are irish, then they reply with "yeah, but you're English"

Even though you are more irish than they will ever be.

[–]sim667Hammer Time! 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (4子コメント)

"Hey, do you know angela, from Edinboro? She's my 3rd cousin twice removed, and as you're from London, I though you might have bumped into her".

[–]FunVonni 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

"Edinboro" - that always grates on me

[–]greenwood90 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's 'Edin-berg' that annoys me the most, at least Edinboro is somewhat similar to the actual pronunciation

[–]doabadbadthing 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (7子コメント)

That is because American is a nationality and not an ethnicity unless you are native American. Most people have pride in their nationality and ethnicity, but if you are a german from germany, irish from ireland etc. they are the same. Not so with most Americans.

[–]lazylazycat 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Except that most people in the UK will have mixed heritage. For example, my mum's family is Welsh, my dad's side is Irish, Scottish and French. However, I just tell people I'm British because why would I say I'm French-English?

My partner is also half-American (always lived in the UK) and definitely doesn't call himself American-British.

[–]that-therei put my toaster in the cupboard 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I was in California a good while ago and was having a nice aul pint, this lad sitting at the bar beside me asks if I'm Irish, then tells me his great-whatever was from Killarney. Great. I've never been there, I live on the other side of the place.

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

What do you even say to that? 'It's shit, no wonder they came here'?

[–]that-therei put my toaster in the cupboard 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Very nice, I've never been there." And turned back to the football, yes football, it was World Cup time.

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (3子コメント)

My great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-granddad was irish.

[–]NickTMTo me 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

*had an Irish dog.

[–]Teh_yakDeported 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

So, that means you're Irish and obviously drink and fight lots because if this?

[–]pajamakitten 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you Sean O'Connor? He is my great, great, great grandafther's brother's great, great, great grandcousin thrice-removed. We're practically brothers and I'd like to get in contact with him.

[–]NEWSBOT3 66 ポイント67 ポイント  (9子コメント)

is it safe me to visit /r/casualuk !? I'm afraid of being blown up. you guys don't have guns, what if i get mugged ? can i bring my 42" home safety knife with me and carry it around in public ? what areas should i avoid entirely ? Are there hidden gems that only I can see ?

it's ok to hire a car and drive around london right? we booked a small truck.

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

"you guys don't know how to drive 100 miles is easy why does it take so long for you lot?"

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Spot the /London mod..

[–]NEWSBOT3 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

so many tourist questions. sobs

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

'Check the FAQ'

But my question deserves it's own thread don't censor me freedom of speech you can't deny me.

[–]WillyVWadeDeja Vu! I've just been in this place before! 49 ポイント50 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Any y'all wanna see some pics of a crime scene?

[–]StonedPhysicistThe 18:50 service to Glasgow Central 38 ポイント39 ポイント  (21子コメント)

Hey everyone! Do you know my cousin George? He lives in England.

[–]DrRedOrDead15th-25th minute. The optimum YC 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (18子コメント)

When I went to Florida (Disney World), a young lady heard me and the other half chatting.

"Oh, my, God, are you guys from engerland?"

"Aye we are"

"I have a friend called Cathy who lives in Birming-HAM, do ya know her?"

"No, I've never really been to Birmingham"

[–]YearOfTheChipmunk 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (17子コメント)

Hearing an American pronounce Birmingham is an experience unto itself.

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"I went to uni in Birmingham.".
"OH BIRMING-HAM? I'VE NEVER BEEN THERE".
"Neither have I, only Birmingham"

[–]F7oraColossus 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Let alone WOR-CEST-ER-SHIRE

[–]benjymousForth Tyne, Veering randomly, occasionally very poor 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Or Lie-cest-er

[–]Aaronw94Greggs and a few cans like 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Or Edin-berg

[–]benjymousForth Tyne, Veering randomly, occasionally very poor 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

or Edin-burro.

[–]StonedPhysicistThe 18:50 service to Glasgow Central 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Once heard some American students discuss where they could find "their clan's tar-TAN". Nearly bust a rib trying to keep down the laughter.

[–]ThatOtherAndyHow the West was Won 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What do you mean you don't stock the Kowalski clan tartan?

[–]beenman500 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

There is a Birmingham in the US too. It's all actually pretty big, 200,000 people. It has the most American motto though.

https://www.birminghamal.gov/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/rotator-01.jpg

[–]themanifoldcuriosity 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I've experience of Birmingham, AL. The motto should be "Where Excellence Dies".

[–]mister_barfly75 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Wait til one of them asks for directions to Lie-sess-ter Square.

[–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Very occasionally this must work, and it must be fantastic when it does.

[–]Sebedee 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

George who lives in Watford?

[–]F7oraColossus 33 ポイント34 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Howdy Y'all, I'm Brad, I'm an Uzbeki-American, my, great, great, great, great, great, grandparents, uncleses were born in Uzbekistan, I identify strongly with my roots, and I eat what the locals there call a keeebob from time to time, to really connect.

I'm what you might call a gun enthusiast, I've got what equates to the arsenal of one of the smaller African nations in my shed.

My favorite food is Kraft Mac N Cheez, half a cow, and wedge salad, and my favorite drink is Bud Light, nothing compares to that sweet subtle beerlike flavor.

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

sweet subtle beerlike flavor.

lmao

[–]SentientEnglishman 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (2子コメント)

sees topics about British matters on a British forum with British people

Howdy y'all, in MURICA this topic is different in some way and while everyone already knows this I must remind you that I am from AMERICA. Also imperial makes more sense because of arbitrary reasons I pulled out of my ass. God bless America.

[–]ReviloNS 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm convinced their love of Imperial units is a sign of their secret wish that they'd never left the British Empire. Although they'd never admit it, of course.

[–]I_tend_to_correct_u 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Too slow. A real American would have made the thread about America within the first two minutes

[–]michaelisnotgingerPosher than you 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (17子コメント)

Would you like some carrmel?

[–]tommygunner91Everyone wanted to fuck the rabbit 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Cuurrrml

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Nah. I just need some of that worecestsadtherherherhsherahshrehshire sauce.

[–]benjymousForth Tyne, Veering randomly, occasionally very poor 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

war-ces-ter-shuh-shuh-shuh-shire sauce?

[–]Bell_WhiffA fine Southern Dandy 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (7子コメント)

No but I'll take some 'Erbs or some aluminum.

[–]benjymousForth Tyne, Veering randomly, occasionally very poor 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I've been looking for Eggplants, Cilantro, Rutabagas, Pineapples and Arugula for months, but y'all don't seem to have them in your grocery stores.

[–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

How'd you sneak pineapples in there? :P

[–]jptocmusic man 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You missed off oRAYgeno. We only get oregano here.

[–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey, look in that tree! It's a sqrrrl

[–]benjymousForth Tyne, Veering randomly, occasionally very poor 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm too busy soddering these electronics.

[–]that-therei put my toaster in the cupboard 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nah, do you have any baloney?

[–]mitch1975The dogs name was Frank. 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Hi y'all. How u do-in.
Just sittin here in the diner having oj bacon sausage and syrup for breakfast, need a good start to the day, won't eat again until brunch (apart from the donuts at work).
Got to hit the subway now, can't use my cellfone on there. Showing it to others might attract muggers. Not packing my regular firearm today, it's being professionally cleaned, and my backup isn't much of a deterrent.

Yu guys have a nice day now.
God save that Queen lady. She's great.

[–]Snowzey 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

That was far too quiet for an American. You need to be louder, so everyone in a 100 foot radius can hear you.

[–]sim667Hammer Time! 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (25子コメント)

This thread is actually really mean to our American subscribers isn't it?

[–]ThatOtherAndyHow the West was Won 76 ポイント77 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Of course it is we're British, we're an emotionally crippled people who can only express affection through the lens of sarcastic cruelty.

[–]justafewafterwork 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If they've been here more than 5 minutes it shouldn't come as a shock.

[–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (12子コメント)

I think it's only fair that they're allowed their own thread to pretend to be British. :)

[–]sim667Hammer Time! 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I'm totally down.

Its normally bad teeth and tea jokes isn't it?

[–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Bad teeth, tea, top hats, monocles and inexplicably cockney accents.

[–]Bart_Thievescant 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

PIP PIP GUBNA

[–]jptocmusic man 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

OIM FROM NUCASSUL! SHINE YA SHUES GUVNOR?

[–]shoukkoBwoah 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm still at a loss to explain why the Gilneans in World of Warcraft speak with a cockney accent.

[–]NickTMTo me 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Seppos generally short-circuit a bit when I point out we as a nation have healthier teeth than them, it's quite fun.

[–]its710somewhere 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I'm not a subscriber, but I am an American. It's ok, really. A lot of these are really funny. Hell, I even posted a comment making fun of our measurement system. So I guess I was pretending to be a Brit that was pretending to be an American.

[–]I_tend_to_correct_u 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (3子コメント)

It's ok, nobody measures their penis in centimetres

[–]its710somewhere 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

But why not though?

18 cm is a way bigger number than 7".

[–]CantBeFriggingSirius 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Not really. I don't think it's being done with mean spirit.

[–]themanifoldcuriosity 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If they can't handle a bit of banter, they were never ready for /r/casualuk to begin with.

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (6子コメント)

I'm sorry I can't hear you over the sound of all my machine guns going off all at once, you'll have to shout like all my other countrymen.

[–]tommygunner91Everyone wanted to fuck the rabbit 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (5子コメント)

eh?

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

LOUDER

[–]TheMiiChannelThemeUnexpected Item in the Bagging Area 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

EVERYWHERE WE GO-O

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

ALWAYS TAKE YOUR A R WITH YOOOUU

[–]danltn 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I'm 1/63rd Scottish! Of course I love haggis

[–]that-therei put my toaster in the cupboard 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Brooklyn, NY here! Guys can you belive that modafucka Trump! Goes all the way to Italy, the HOMELAND, meets Our Fadda himself, and doesnt even bring back some mozzarel! Whaddafuck! My grandparents great-great-great grandparents friend didn't come all the way from the Great Italy for this bullshit! Im gonna go eat the best pizza in the world (NY style baby!) with some gabagool!

[–]constarcgive me buckfast or give me death 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Eyyyy I'm walkin' here!

[–]Bart_Thievescant 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm American and you're all way too good at this.

[–]Bell_WhiffA fine Southern Dandy 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Howdy Pardner. Yee-haw!

I'm sure you've all heard of it by now, but /r/ShitAmericansSay is fantastic.

[–]Twurb 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (5子コメント)

"Our crime rates are higher because we have more people per capita"

[–]DrRedOrDead15th-25th minute. The optimum YC 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Should cross post this to there....

[–]SINK_RATE_PULL_UP 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Howdy, my name is Kenichi Smith.

I'm a 27 year old Japanese Toonaholic (Cartoon fan for you foreigners). I draw cartoons and comics on my tablet, and spend my days perfecting my art and playing superior American games. (Halo, Gears of War, Call of Duty)

I train with my 1911 every day, this superior weapon can shoot straight through steel because it kicks ass, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my gun license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both the Midwestern and the East Coast accents, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about American history and their Constitution, which I follow 100%

When I get my American visa, I am moving to New York to attend a prestigious High School to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become an animator for Nickelodeon or a game designer!

I own several cowboy outfits, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to America, so I can fit in easier. I keep cool to my elders and seniors and speak English as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

[–]124876720Dùn Èideann 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Orite you slags, my name is Ken.

I’m a 27 year old American Gooner (Arsenal fan for you yanks). I play soccer and cricket in my garden, and spend my days perfecting my skills and playing superior British games. (Goldeneye 007, Lemmings, Football Manager series)

I train with my pattern 1796 Heavy Cavalry Sword every day, this superior weapon can cut clean through steel because it is made of Sheffield steel, and is vastly superior to any other weapon on earth. I earned my sword license two years ago, and I have been getting better every day.

I speak English fluently, both English and the Scottish standard dialect, and I write fluently as well. I know everything about British history and their social norms, which I follow 100%.

When I get my British visa, I am moving to London to attend a prestigious private school to learn more about their magnificent culture. I hope I can become a striker for Arsenal or a game designer!

I own several kilts, which I wear around town. I want to get used to wearing them before I move to England, so I can fit in easier. I drink tea with my pinkie extended and speak Cockney as often as I can, but rarely does anyone manage to respond.

Wish me luck in England!

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (2子コメント)

So where are you from? London?

What do you mean there are other places than London? So you are from Edinburgh then?

[–]h0m3r 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Uncirmucised dicks are pretty fuckin weird, huh?

[–]NickTMTo me 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (2子コメント)

If you really want to make them twitch, just refer to them as 'unmutilated'.

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Or say "yeah I had an operation as a kid sure to medical reasons".
"NO IT MUST NEVERHAPPENUNDERANYCIRCUMSTANCES IT'S BARBARIC THE DOCTOR SHOULD BE SHOT DUG UP AND SHOT AGAIN".
Yeah Nah. Where's your medical training, bro?

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (4子コメント)

"So, when did dragons become extinct in the UK?".
"Oh those hats are wonderful on the guardsman there! Go ask him if you can try it on!".
"Wait so this doorknob is older than the my country?".
"Yeah but we beat you in 1812".
"I see the audioguides are set to British. Do you have English?"
All real things I heard from Americans when I was working at Windsor castle

[–]SFHalfling 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

At Atlon Towers one asked what the castle was made of, and where they bought such tall trees.

[–]F7oraColossus 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

"Hey I heard that those guards in the funny hats can't react if you fuck with them" ....

Gets destroyed by Queens Guard

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I have seen them pick up and throw with one hand a little old Chinese man who picked at the sleeve to see the buttons.
I've also seen them level bayonet at French kids on a school trip multiple times because they keep coming back. They're the worst, the Americans scatter after one twitch and yell.
Also the lovely man from the met with the submachine gun comes over and yells at tourists to fuck off of they didn't listen to the normal wardens yelling at them to fuck off, so you know it's serious when the soldier actually does something.

[–]F7oraColossus 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I let out a genuine chuckle at that first paragraph, I've seen them level a bayonet and scream in someone's face a couple of times.

They've got to seriously resent that myth.

[–]TjBee 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (15子コメント)

Things about America that I actually enjoy:

  • American Football, the NFL is great fun to watch for the absurdity of the whole thing. And the more you understand the better it gets.
  • Baseball. 145 games in the regular season from April to October? Yes please! In a summer with a serious sports drought here, I'm thankful I can pick a team and learn a new sport that is on literally every day.
  • Culture. I like that wherever you visit in the US it will have a distinctly unique feel. This is true of many places but the differences between New York/Florida/Texas/Wisconsin/California are huge.
  • The idea of living in a country where you can move to an entirely different climate that suits you without leaving the country is nice.

Still wouldn't live there because I like healthcare and dislike guns, but it's got some good qualities.

[–]NickTMTo me 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Culture. I like that wherever you visit in the US it will have a distinctly unique feel. This is true of many places but the differences between New York/Florida/Texas/Wisconsin/California are huge.

Oh boy you're going to bring out the /r/SAS favourite "The differences between Orlando and Seattle are literally bigger than Madrid and Berlin" at this rate!

[–]GlockWanDouble bloody decker!! 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

you go to the next state over and there's a completely different accent and culture!

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Plus it's going through a massive food revolution at the moment..

So much good food coming out of the new generation of chefs.

[–]justafewafterwork 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (5子コメント)

They probably think they invented good food, they seem to think they invented craft beer.

[–]JebsticlesCome "down" and visit 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I spent years of my life wondering what craft beer actually was, then I realised that it was just local ale.

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

America has a lot of good food, it's just it's swamped with a lot of shit food.

Much like the UK, we have some really really good food, but a certain decade made the UK look like we eat utter shit.

[–]NickTMTo me 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Funny how having an entire country under siege can make your cuisine a bit bland eh.

[–]DrRedOrDead15th-25th minute. The optimum YC 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Americans invented everything. USA USA USA USA USA

[–]modest-maus 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

US citizen here. Any particular reason you picked Wisconsin as your Midwest state?

[–]TjBee 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Because I picked the Packers as my NFL team about 3 years ago as they play in the same colours as Norwich and are fan owned ¯\(ツ)

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Because if anyone says Minnesota I will fucking glass them.

[–]shoukkoBwoah 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

As a kid, I always found Minneapolis, Minnesota to be incredibly satisfying to say.

Yes, I had no friends.

[–]nowitasshole 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hey y'all, I love me some bacon. You know the kind, all fat and no meat. Me and my babymama love that rootin' tootin' stuff, y'all should try it.

[–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like to cover mine in sugar to make absolutely 100% sure I get diabetes to prop up our failing health system's finances.

[–]Glitter-HerpesParty! 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm thinking of visiting your beautiful country of London.

[–]circleinthesquare 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Joke's on you I live in the UK

You cannot hide from us

edit: These responses are pretty much all gold I love this sub

[–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Spotted the CIA Agent.

[–]circleinthesquare 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Needed the secret of good tea and healthcare for national security purposes

[–]ToasterfireI hate my coworkers 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (5子コメント)

We tried to give it to you but no, fucking tea party.

[–]tmstmsBig Saddo, and expert human dustbin. 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Is it legal to carry any kind of knife? Can I pretend it's for my job? Can I pretend I'm just out hunting?

[–]GlockWanDouble bloody decker!! 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

all those boxes aren't going to open themselves, need my 10 incher EDC for my software job

[–]pajamakitten 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Look at my flag. Every day I salute it while wearing my flag shirt and weep at how glorious it looks flapping in the wind and then pray to God about great it is to be able to be free to do this and shoot anyone who disagrees with me. You couldn't do that in Europe.

[–]Sparx808Maybe It's Because I'm A Londoner 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Howdy! Does anyone know a good auto body repair shop I can get my Chevy repaired? I kicked the fender at Walmart after I dropped a 20ozer of root beer on my white leather shoes. My local technition asked for 200 bucks, what in tarnation!

[–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Mornin', champ! You're in luck, my cousin's ex-wife's son's priest actually works as a vee-hickle repairman on Saturdays, and he will fix your beautiful bit of American engineering in return for 10 prayers! God bless us all.

[–]d_rn 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (4子コメント)

'Murican here. We drink Mountain Dew to prevent sleeping.

[–][削除されました]  (3子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]circleinthesquare 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    It's definitely spelled Dew. You may be thinking of Scooby Doo.

    [–]JangoAllTheWay 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Look at this grease laden, plastic cheese coated, 'meat' filled abomination of a sandwich! Doesn't it look delicious!?

    [–]124876720Dùn Èideann 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    You are now a moderator of r/food.

    [–]F7oraColossus 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Want to buy a sandwich without plastic cheese on? Fuck you buddy, plastic cheese is the taste of freedom and is a mandatory sandwich filling.

    [–]Matt2329i like it. 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    If your freedom doesn't give you the right to fire an M16 into the air whilst donuting in your giant pickup... well then you can stick your freedom up your ass!

    [–]DrRedOrDead15th-25th minute. The optimum YC 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces.

    You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot.

    The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.

    If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo.

    [–]babsk988best chocolate 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    What the darn-diddily-doodily did you just say about me, you little witcharooney? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Springfield Bible College, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret mission trips in Capital City, and I have over 300 confirmed baptisms. I am trained in the Old Testament and I’m the top converter in the entire church mission group. You are nothing to me but just another heathen. I will cast your sins out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before in Heaven, mark my diddily-iddilly words. You think you can get away with saying that blasphemy to me over the Internet? Think again, friendarino. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of evangelists across Springfield and your IP is being traced by God right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggorino. The storm that wipes out the diddily little thing you call your life of sin. You’re going to Church, kiddily-widdily. Jesus can be anywhere, anytime, and he can turn you to the Gospel in over infinity ways, and that’s just with his bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in preaching to nonbelievers, but I have access to the entire dang- diddily Bible collection of the Springfield Bible College and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your sins away off the face of the continent, you diddily-doo satan-worshipper. If only you could have known what holy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you from the Heavens, maybe you would have held your darn-diddily-fundgearoo tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re clean of all your sins, you widdillo-skiddily neighborino. I will sing hymns of praise all over you and you will drown in the love of Christ. You’re farn-foodily- flank-fiddily reborn, kiddo-diddily.

    [–]124876720Dùn Èideann 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Howdy y'all,

    I want to get a really great Chicken Tikka Masala when I visit the UK, but I hear the best is in Bradford and Birmingham. Will I be safe there as an American? Are there any good curry restaurants outside the no-go zones?

    [–]PerfectHairBeep beep 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    What do you mean "flag worship"? Just because I pledge allegiance to it every morning at school and will fight people burning it despite it being constitutionally protected as a form of protest, and just because if it's touching the ground I'll stop my car, get out, and hold it in the air until help arrives does not mean I worship my flag!

    [–]FunVonni 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Hey Y'all. What's your favourite machine gun?

    [–]124876720Dùn Èideann 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Relevant flair tbh.

    [–]FunVonni 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    ooooooh cheeky (but 20 years out of date)

    [–]mad_men_bad_glenn 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    we're coming to Europe in the Fall - try to visit as many countries as possible: France, Italy, London, Spain, etc.

    [–]beefygravy 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I couldn't decide between Team Liverpool and The Chelseas, so I just support both!!

    [–]babsk988best chocolate 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Haha i love England so much! I was in Cardiff the other day and it was so so lovely. Also i went to the Winchester and had some fish and chips! It felt just like home because I'm 1/16th irish (which made the Guinness taste so much better).Also I can't believe you guys and your roundabouts? Driving in circles and on the wrong side of the road is really tough!

    [–]Pedro_Obiang 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I support Arsenal.

    [–]tchernychevski 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Hey guys, I'm looking to pick a soccer team to support in the Premiere League and I want your advice. I want a classy team, not a bunch of floppers, which has a chance of winning the World Cup but I don't want to be a glory hunter. I like the Arsenal Gunners because of the guns and because I play them on FIFA, but I want a team with some American players on their roster. Who should I root for?

    PS I once visited Edinburg on vacation and bought a Manchester uniform so maybe that's a good franchise to pick?

    [–]jptocmusic man 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    I think you should be looking for a team with strong, American roots. Unfortunately Brad Bobley is no longer in charge of the Swansea Super Swans but with New Castles United buying the franchise spot of the Red Striped Black Cats for the new season then maybe them! They've got World Class Super Star DeAndre Yedlin lining up in the Offensive RB positions and he makes all the other New Castle squad look like they need to be drafted out to crummier teams!

    [–]CarrowCanaryWhere the fuck is the Jaffa Cakes flair‽ 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    This looks fun. I would join in, but I'm too busy waiting for my Kinder Eggs to clear customs.

    It's been 3 years now, I'm sure they'll arrive any day...

    [–]didierdoddsyY no 6 music?! 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    U.S.A! U.S.A! U.S.A!

    [–]arabidopsisUnoffical MasterChef Champion of r/casualUK 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Fun fact: Most Americans cannot pronounce Norwich.

    They say Nor-which, and not Norridge.

    Amount of time I have had to explain to Americans you enunciate the Shire if it's by itself and it's shear if it's on the end of something

    [–]Uh_cakeplease 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (4子コメント)

    Aw, man. As an American living in London I was excited by the welcome. But now the rest of the thread makes me feel like poo. I don't have guns, I like the NHS, and I don't say ya'll or talk on the tube! I'll just see my way out. :'(

    [–]HPBProtected by the Coal of Luck.[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    FAKE AMERICAN DETECTED !!!

    [–]F7oraColossus 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    If you've been spending a bit of time around here, you'll notice that we're just as awful about (INSERT ANYWHERE IN THE UK ESPECIALLY HULL HERE) being kind of dickish about each other is a friendly British tradition.

    [–]Uh_cakeplease 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Good point! I'll go take my butt-loads of prescriptions now to get rid of all my feelings.

    (Did I do that right? I tried.)

    [–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (7子コメント)

    Well, hey there! I'm right proud of myself this morning because I got the trash out before the... trashman(?) came!

    My cell phone just won't stop ringing with great news about how FREE our country is, I'm tickled pink! :D

    [–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (3子コメント)

    I doubt they're called trashmen, they have this awful trend of using overly long words that lose the definition of what that person really does.

    They're probably called Urban Waste Municipal Operative Executives.

    [–]NickTMTo me 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    I need a Drink Technician to beverise me, stat

    [–]ThatOtherAndyHow the West was Won 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    [–]DisputedDetails...and a curry sauce, please. 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Well, jeepers. I can't say I'm over the moon about being shot on this fine day, but it's your right as a citizen of the greatest nation in the world to do whatever you like with your firearm, so GOD BLESS YOU.

    [–]ThatOtherAndyHow the West was Won 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    And GOD BLESS AMERICA.

    [–]HMJ87 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hey guys I love your country! My great-great-great grandma's cousin's dog was English, so I guess that makes me English too! It must be so cool for you guys to meet the Queen all the time in her Bucking-ham palace! I'm gonna drink some warm beer and eat some shepherd's pie tonight to celebrate y'all!

    [–]Yorea1970sBatmanLogo.png 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    *uploads photo of Tower Bridge* #LondonBridge OMG!

    [–]constarcgive me buckfast or give me death 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Howdy there buddy haha how ya doin? Here, have a gun, I have to go now because I need to mosey on over to my erb garden to get some arugula, cilantro and bay-zil, catch you later my dude! (applauds)

    [–]PM_ME_Determination 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    G'day mate, American here, I can guarantee you that some of us 'muricans are awake at this time. We know what you're up to.

    [–]SFHalfling 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    ~Riotous Applause~

    Good Jawb, this is the winningest thread, here's an extra 1250% karma as a tip.

    ~Random Continuous Cheering~

    Not since we won WW2 for you have I felt this close to my Great Englandish relatives. (I'm 1/512 Irish and drink guinness so I'm one of you).

    ~Machine gun fire~

    Well sounds like them pesky McDoogle boys are back, better go show them what my personal protection 18" field gun can do.

    Y'all have a lovely day and God bless.

    [–]depnameless 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Not strictly relevant to the thread topic but one of the funniest things I've ever seen was in an Irish pub in Piccadilly - an American came in and tried to pay with Euros then got really frustrated when the barman said no

    I think he thought it was Irish clay, like an embassy. Proper funny.

    [–]Aaronw94Greggs and a few cans like 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hey my dudes, i'm from the US of A and just wanted to let all you Brits know that we forgive you for 1776. Hell i was walking down the sidewalk with my AR-15 and i just thought maybe it's about time we forgave the Brits ya'know.

    After i got so excited i ran across the road and headed to Applebees, after paying the sheriff a fine for jaywalking, i set my rifle on the table and ordered me some pancakes and maple syrup. I just finished it off with a bottle of Bud LiteTM . I fired up reddit and came straight on here to let you guys know. Im off to salute the flag and shoot my rifle in the air, gawd bless America.

    [–]itsarideitsaflair 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    How much does it cost to see the Queen?

    [–]itsarideitsaflair 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    If there's any justice in this world (there isn't) this is at the top of /y'all by the end of the day.

    [–]Barry_Scotts_CatBANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    I'm wearing salmon colored pants today.

    You really are back to front aren't you

    [–]ILOVEGLADOSPete Price is a lizard 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Tips OP £5 because that's the lowest form of paper money

    [–]CaffeinatedT 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hey guys where do i buy a gallon of lie-chester-shire cheese? Also why do u drive on the left lol?!

    [–]dwair'al righ' me 'hansom 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Anyone know where I can get my Ford Bronco serviced in down the deep south? I need it to git a couple of crate loads of AR-15's up to my kids junior school from my trailer for the fun day charity shoot?

    Corn dogs and cordite. It's gonna be a great day for all the family so y'all welcome.

    [–]jogi01234 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Hi y'all. Little old me was planning a trip to Engerland in the fall to see if I can meet the Queen, do any of you know her? Also, can I bring pineapples?

    [–]ElliottP1707 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    Like, I am so hungry man. Like, I'm gonna go out get some fast food instead of spending less and preparing my own healthier food. claps. Puts 4x4 SUV Cadillac into D. Drives to In and Out Burger 5 minutes walk away. Claps again. Orders 7 layered pancake burger topped with War-Chester-Shire sauce, cheese, and special homemade topping. Tips everyone in the place. Like, that was a delicious breakfast. Murcia!

    [–]MaldomYes I live in a Whale. 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

    Yall better not insult me and my wife sister. Or I'll get the guns on your ass.

    [–]WillyVWadeDeja Vu! I've just been in this place before! 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    That's just [Insert UK town here]...

    [–]reverseswangmoo 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

    Y'all drink beer y'all can actually taste?

    [–]Aaronw94Greggs and a few cans like 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    borns in the land of the free has to wait 21 years to legally buy booze