For years, I have lived a lonely and stressful life. Being a mixed breed minority at school, I was rejected during all my childhood. At home, I was not “pure” enough to be accepted by my parents and ended up being rejected by them too.

My dream was to raise a family because I never had one but with my life experience, personality and genes I only was able to get to an unattractive girl. I hoped she would have a good personality. But she screwed everything up. I let her disrespect me because I was so afraid to be alone. That ended in losing my dream job, divorce and monthly payment for the kids.

Now I am alone as I have always been. I dated 5-6 women and had sex with a dozen after the divorce but real attractive women never ever give me any indicator of interest. I have to go through tremendous efforts to get chad’s leftovers, alpha widows, single mothers and those interested women only see me as a walking ATM.

Bad experience after bad experience with people kill you from the inside. I even had a girl once dump me because she heard I had gone through too much and that scared her. Like it was my fault for being raised in a disruptive family.

I go along with people and colleagues but at the end of the day, they join their family, friends. I can’t relate to that. People use me for my skills but feel awkward around me and women reject me for my genes and my bad experiences in life.

I understand most people who join MGTOW are not socially damaged, can relate to each others and build bonds and friendships. GTOW is not living alone, it is living for one’s own dreams.

I don’t have dreams anymore. All my plans, dreams were shattered against the rifts of reality. Life is like playing a lonely game I never felt like winning, a game that doesn’t make sense nor feels funny anymore.

Are there some MGTOW here who feel like that too ? People who go monk mode because they feel weird among people ? How do you cope with the feeling of being rejected by society ?