I have severe panic attacks, but am trying to learn to cope with them and to do some small things by myself. Stores trigger them badly, so I normally stay with my parents, but decide to try and see if I can manage a very quick stop by myself. I leave my parents in the car and go into the store, intending to simply cross the store, grab the item I need, pay, and go back to the car.

I get across the store and get the item I need but as I’m waiting to pay, I can feel an attack coming on. I manage to pay quickly and ask where the bathroom is. As soon as the assistant tells me, I hightail it to the bathroom and lock myself in one of the stalls, just before the attack hits fully. It’s the first time I’ve had an attack in a public place when I’ve been alone, so the panic part is even worse than normal, and I can’t do much except sit on the toilet and rock back and forth, crying.

Eventually, I manage to think that I should contact someone, but there’s no-one I can think of to contact, since I rarely feel able to talk to anyone about it. Then I remember my best friend has Skype, so I send him a message asking for help. He proceeds to talk me through the early stages of the attack, before bombarding me with a plethora of images of sloths (my favourite animal) to distract me until finally, the attack wears off and I manage to get home safely.

It’s terrifying having a panic attack, worse knowing you can’t talk to most people you know, but if you have one best friend who’s like a brother to you and will drop everything to Google sloth pictures when he should be working? You’re blessed.

(I decided to go pick up some snacks at a new store where things only sell for a dollar. While I’m putting my items up to check out, there is a woman waiting for her card to go through, and is talking about the accent of the cashier, who is from Tennessee. It’s a bit important to note that while I have always lived in Maine all my life, and have the accent, I have picked up both my mother’s Southern accent, and my grandfather’s New York accent, giving me a slightly unique accent.)

Cashier: “I met him on [3D chat program].”

Customer: “Did you really?”

Me: “Oh, I used to play on that.”

Customer: “You too! You have an accent! Where are you from?”

Me: “Me? Right here in Maine.”

Customer: “You can’t be.”

Me: *laughs* “I am!”

Customer: “You are not. You do not have that accent!”

Cashier: “Um, she does… actually.”

Me: “I do, and I have lived here all my life. If it helps any my mother is from the South and my grandfather is from New York. I pick up accents really easily.”

Customer: *gasps* “You mean you’re a child of incest!?”

Me: “HOW did you even make that jump, lady?! My father is from here in Maine!”

Customer: *glares*

Cashier: “It went through. Here’s your receipt… Yikes.”

Customer: *she leaves and drags her embarrassed daughters with her*

Me: “Seriously… is my accent that weird?”

Cashier: “Not at all. Actually, I think it’s pretty. It’s neat how you picked up on a few different accents.”

Me: “Sometimes it’s a curse.”

(When I left, I saw the woman still glaring at me. Lady, I can’t help that I have a accent. I’ve been told before that my accent is different, but never has anyone made a jump like that before!)

(My boss has asked me to reach out to a couple of people who were guests at his networking organization to coordinate meet-ups with them. The following is my verbatim email and reply.)

Me: “Hi, [Name]!

I am emailing on behalf of [Boss]. You were a guest at his [Networking Group] a couple of weeks ago and he is interested in setting up a [Meet-Up] with you in the next couple of weeks. His schedule is a little crazy, but he does have availability on [Dates] to meet in our office or in the [Nearby Area] for breakfast or lunch, if that is preferable for you. Let me know what works and I’d be happy to get something on his calendar! Thanks!”

Response: “Why?”

(I am swimming with a few friends on a hot day. A ball splashes next to me and I see a woman swimming up. I hold onto it until she gets to me. I am male.)

Me: “Sorry, but balls aren’t allowed in the water on this part of the beach. You can use them on the sand though.”

Woman: *snide* “And how would you know!”

Me: “My husband is a lifeguard on duty. I know a lot of the rules.”

(Her eyes widen and she looks me up and down before turning and swimming away.)

Woman: “Kids, get out of water! Quick!”

(Her children protest.)

Woman: “There’s a [slur]! It’s in the water. It’ll turn the whole ocean gay!” *turns back* It’s already happening!”

(My friends and I watch as three children and the mother sprint out of the water and into their car. They’re still wet as they drive off.)

Friend #1: “That was really weird.”

Me: “What did she mean, ‘It’s already happening?’”

Friend #2: “Oh, [Friend #3] and I decided to start snogging when we realised where it was headed.”

(I overhear this conversation between two students, a guy and a girl.)

Girl: “I just can’t say it!”

Guy: “Okay, just try. Say ‘eh.'”

Girl: “Eh…”

Guy: “…le…”

Girl: “…le…”

Guy: “…phant.”

Girl: “…phant.”

Guy: “Elephant!”

Girl: “Ephalent!”