I wish I could just start appointments by asking “So, do you prefer mildly condescending platitudes, or medications with a bunch of side effects?”, and then people could just tell me, and I wouldn’t have to guess, and they couldn’t get angry if I gave them the one they wanted.
And if they said “Neither!”, I would answer “Oh, so you must want placebo. I know a really great acupuncturist, let me give you her number.”
I’d also include “or (1) actual examination of what you’re doing that makes your life better and what you’re doing that makes your life worse, and how you can do more of the former and less of the latter, and (2) examination of what important life skills you lack, and exploration of ways for you to develop them and/or work around their absence,” with selection of that one to be followed by “okay, let me refer you to a therapist, that’s not really something I can provide in 20 minutes once a month.”
My impression is that the chance of this reducing to “mildly condescending platitudes” varies with the patient’s intelligence and social class, from “wait,you’re saying I should get a good night’s sleep? I never thought of that before!” among confused schizophrenics, to “of course I’ve used black-market d-cycloserine to potentiate the effects of cognitive-behavioral self-help workbooks, what kind of moron do you think I am, you’re wasting my fucking time” among people I talk to on Tumblr.