上位 200 件のコメント表示する 500

[–]DraculixBoss[M] [スコア非表示] stickied comment (185子コメント)

We consider linking to user accounts on external websites to be a form of doxxing.

I'm banning anyone who links to her Instagram account. Don't do it.

[–]Syliase 803 ポイント804 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Your foundation is warmer than your skin tone, and I can see where you edited your waist/underbust to make yourself look skinnier. 1/10 effort

[–]queenofyour-heart 218 ポイント219 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Your foundation is warmer than your skin tone

Shit. As a female, this one should hurt the most...

[–]piratesas 5634 ポイント5635 ポイント  (16子コメント)

Jesus Christ, this isn't Chaturbate. Reddit gold doesn't give you actual money.

[–]tyen0 763 ポイント764 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Maybe she thinks all the "I'm poor" comments will encourage someone to give her money.

[–]sammyc103 1753 ポイント1754 ポイント  (22子コメント)

The definition of a depreciating asset.

[–]RealCoolGal 4161 ポイント4162 ポイント  (85子コメント)

Deleted her account when it hit r/all

[–]TheBiggestZander 391 ポイント392 ポイント  (68子コメント)

Was she famous or something? Like.. instagram famous?

[–]Agent_Dutchess 1087 ポイント1088 ポイント  (64子コメント)

Her username is buried somewhere in the comments here but she deleted her Insta too lol

Edit: insta may still be up. Maybe she had a nervous breakdown without seeing a dick pic inboxed to her in over 43 minutes and reactivated it.

[–]geesehater22 219 ポイント220 ポイント  (36子コメント)

Her username is buried somewhere in the comments here but she deleted her Insta too lol

Don't they want followers on insta? I would try to get on r/all and get people to sign up. This is weird.

[–]MrFuzzybagels 250 ポイント251 ポイント  (34子コメント)

Normally yes but I think one of the roasts hit a little too close to home. You'll know which one when you see it.

[–]myvoyacc 3986 ポイント3987 ポイント  (24子コメント)

Everything about this is way too intentional for the "fuck it" pageantry. You want people to think you just wrote some shit down on a card, snapped a quick photo, and threw it to the virgins to shout out your fake tits as masked compliments? It takes more bravery for some regular ass teenager to snarl their brace-face in homeroom than it does for your fake fuck it Instagram lite compliment fishing trip.

Private message update. And as a response: stop using your real name for everything you silly fuck.

[–]sendme5seewhathappen 959 ポイント960 ポイント  (16子コメント)

Instagram lite compliment fishing trip.

it's funny because she posted it on instagram too.

[–]hascogrande 8330 ポイント8331 ポイント  (86子コメント)

posts on RoastMe

deletes account after 6 hours

[–]calxcalyx 2771 ポイント2772 ポイント  (36子コメント)

Yeah, that backfired I think.

[–]awhaling 2994 ポイント2995 ポイント  (8子コメント)

You came here to get low-key complimented, then when people actually roasted you you feel the need to explain why they are wrong, because you're too insecure to laugh it off.

Roll with the punches. It's a roast me, not secretly compliment me in the disguise of an insult.

[–]tyme 7042 ポイント7043 ポイント  (91子コメント)

Lady, you came to /r/roastme and are defending yourself in reply to negative comments. Do you not understand the purpose of this sub?

[–]Hate_them_chiggers 1880 ポイント1881 ポイント  (15子コメント)

There should definitely be more digs on her intelligence.

[–]tehBrandonJayyay 502 ポイント503 ポイント  (37子コメント)

What were her comments like? She deleted her account

[–]zbyte64 649 ポイント650 ポイント  (11子コメント)

"teehee thank you blah blah excuse"

Excuses include: German heritage, masculine face

[–]LolaRamona 441 ポイント442 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I don't think common sense is her strong suit.

[–]LinkReincarnat3 5002 ポイント5003 ポイント  (44子コメント)

That ring light you used for your selfie makes your eyes and narcissism really pop.

[–]PURPLEDONGOFTHANOS 1008 ポイント1009 ポイント  (19子コメント)

I occasionally lurk r/all and have never really paid attention to /r/roastme, but this is one of the best fucking threads ive ever stumbled upon. She straight deleted her account.

[–]Nixus 9493 ポイント9494 ポイント  (92子コメント)

Deleted account, internet still undefeated.

[–]Firecracker500 485 ポイント486 ポイント  (46子コメント)

Has the internet ever lost against a roastee?

[–]bojang1es 459 ポイント460 ポイント  (5子コメント)

The moment you try to win against the internet you've already lost. The internet always wins, the challenger should only ever be playing for a mutual victory.

[–]BluFoot 276 ポイント277 ポイント  (26子コメント)

Yeah there was that one post where the roastee made insane comeback after comeback. I'll try to find it.

edit: http://reddit.com/r/RoastMe/comments/4sbxhc/i_am_16_in_marching_band_and_have_autism_and_add/

[–]throwawayforporn93 6351 ポイント6352 ポイント  (90子コメント)

I don't know why you insist and doing Q&A videos on Instagram. No one gives a shit. We follow you because you're hot, but you're not interesting. Stop deluding yourself.

Edit: No I won't give you her instagram. Stop messaging me.

[–]havereddit 992 ポイント993 ポイント  (12子コメント)

The plucked-off-and-then-drawn-back-on eyebrows. Soooo not hot...

[–]Get_Over_Here_Please 300 ポイント301 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I do not understand that idea, they wanted to be roasted... and the photo they chose had drawn on eyebrows. Like, were we supposed to focus on that? Was it a trap?!

[–]DakFayden4http://redd.it/5n8wsh 10.5k ポイント10.5k ポイント  (99子コメント)

You look like someone who would spend 2 hours on your hair and makeup and take about 50 selfies just to post on r/roastme because you think you'll be the first person in the history of this sub to be so hot that nobody can think of a bad thing to say about you, but that has never happened.

You look like the kind of person who frequents loud dance clubs because the loudness puts you on a level playing field with people who are interesting to talk to.

[–]Hipporack 809 ポイント810 ポイント  (2子コメント)

That first sentence ran on like the list of her ex's that won't speak to her anymore.

[–]demuratrix 1585 ポイント1586 ポイント  (63子コメント)

I think you just made me understand why some people go clubbing so much. Sure it's fun to dance and get drunk and get laid, but there's also no pressure to be intelligent, just pressure to be sexy.

EDIT: God I am so full of regret. My life is in a downward spiral and I don't know which way is up to swim for air. I deeply regret my many failures and flaws.

[–]TheMasterFatman 2684 ポイント2685 ポイント  (14子コメント)

I'd roast you, but I don't have the $350 you charge per hour.

[–]MaxineSilver 1190 ポイント1191 ポイント  (10子コメント)

theres more makeup on your cleavage, and thats saying something

[–]Bcron 200 ポイント201 ポイント  (1子コメント)

This post is a train wreck lmao, you can even see her left arm pulling the back of her shirt, make those things POP.

Most try-hard "fuck it" I've ever witnessed

[–]PMMeYourWits 6383 ポイント6384 ポイント  (24子コメント)

Her: Gimme that I have no skills and need to marry for money look

Team of plastic surgeons: Say no more

[–]Cowpatty96http://redd.it/6ag1am 936 ポイント937 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Houston, we have a problem. The right side of the landing pad is higher. Please advise.

[–]HoodHimself 11.8k ポイント11.8k ポイント  (76子コメント)

Wannabe Instagram model looking for work. Has GED and likes how everyone is always so nice. Talents include: PICS. Skilled in taking 3hrs to set up a selfie to look spontaneous, and makeup. Will do "whatev's" for money or coke.

[–]JohnnyDarkside 2006 ポイント2007 ポイント  (33子コメント)

The ol' "Bae caught me..." model. Nobody cares enough to actually invest time since she screams "don't stick your dick in crazy" so she just spends all her free time coming up ways of trying to take creative selfies until she finally to start going full instagram model and shows more and more before finally just becoming a cam slut.

[–]LinkUnseen 511 ポイント512 ポイント  (31子コメント)

And then has a public meltdown on camera in line at a Subway, revealing that she's not in that great of shape anymore

[–]Jolly_Rodger 315 ポイント316 ポイント  (7子コメント)

She even has a professional light rig just for this kind of attention. You can see the circular led lights in her eyes.

[–]CookiesNCremation 1862 ポイント1863 ポイント  (10子コメント)

Sex dolls have become so realistic these days.

[–]AutisticAnal 2712 ポイント2713 ポイント  (15子コメント)

Too bad there's no kind of surgery that can make you smarter or more interesting.

[–]Neice_Ex_Throwaway 11.7k ポイント11.7k ポイント x2 (355子コメント)

Are Ex's allowed to post? Well, here it goes:

You wish you were a real actress so people couldn't see right through you. You look like your major in college was gold digging. You might be able to marry rich if you knew what to do with a dick when you see one. You're so desperate for attention you've gone from self-posting on r/prettygirls and r/goddesses to r/roastme. Your little shit of a purse dog is the only true loyalty you'll ever find, and even that is contingent on you continuing to feed it. Your tattoos of guns pointing at your vagina are probably there because the dumb-ass guys you've had to settle for need instructions in finding it under that Demi Moore-inspired bush of yours. You flossed your eyebrows more than a dentist flosses his teeth. Your nipples look like they had a fight with each other and are hiding on the opposite sides of your boobs. You obviously can't take criticism. You will die alone.

[–]trynottolose 3804 ポイント3805 ポイント  (10子コメント)

shit... the other ones were personal, but this one was personal personal

[–]axialclown 1282 ポイント1283 ポイント  (19子コメント)

Goddam. Roasted, toasted and then discarded.

[–]FinishTheSente 309 ポイント310 ポイント  (12子コメント)

Holy fucking shit. I haven't seen such epic obliteration since NYC at the end of the first Avengers movie. God damn.

[–]JohnStamosBRAH 1106 ポイント1107 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Holy shit bruh... Even I feel bad reading this.

10/10

[–]DrHelminto 67 ポイント68 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I know right?! It's a bit cringe but since she asked for it I'm not that bad as I should. This guy was fucking savage.

[–]i_like_turtles_1969 458 ポイント459 ポイント  (23子コメント)

Fucking hell. If it wasn't for that roast that got gilded 6 or 7 times this would be the best one.

[–]Neice_Ex_Throwaway 508 ポイント509 ポイント  (16子コメント)

Late to the party, but had to take the opportunity. I mean, what are the freaking odds? I didn't even start in on the medications or addictions. .

[–]str8emulated 1072 ポイント1073 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Don't let all these comments get you down, you will make some kind of well off guy a wonderful participation trophy wife someday.

[–]r0b0nd7 269 ポイント270 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Those eyes are emptier than your dead octopus's tank. And that is the most research I've ever had to do for RoastMe.

[–]asiansteevhttp://redd.it/4xf4r1 1905 ポイント1906 ポイント  (5子コメント)

we get it, you learned contouring

[–]millface1 3734 ポイント3735 ポイント  (60子コメント)

I bet the title of this post is roughly 66% of your active vocabulary. The other 33% being the word "me".

[–]Alex_GordonAMA 10.6k ポイント10.6k ポイント  (47子コメント)

You are one of those girls that I'll come across on Instagram, remember that I'm horny, then go and find the actual hot ones to jerk off too.

[–]halfachainsaw 4871 ポイント4872 ポイント  (18子コメント)

Like passing a taco bell and going "oh yeah I was gonna grab chipotle"

[–]Alex_GordonAMA 2961 ポイント2962 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Exactly. Taco Bell is fine when I'm drunk and nothing else is open. Just like her.

[–]dietotaku 253 ポイント254 ポイント  (2子コメント)

you have more fake eyelashes glued to your face than you have IQ points.

[–]dadbod615 701 ポイント702 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Your cleavage almost took my gaze away from that perfectly square ass forehead.

[–]sendme5seewhathappen 2058 ポイント2059 ポイント  (30子コメント)

You look like every basic ass Kardashian wannabe in this world, draw your eyebrows in thicker please. Just the sight of you screams insecurity to me, you hate yourself and anytime a male compliments you they lose value in your eyes. You spent two hours getting ready to take this picture and have no plans to even leave the house today. You'll fuck your fill of badboys and then right at 30 settle down with a guy who has been chasing you for years. He'll think he has hit the jackpot, little does he know you aren't worth the sheets he fucks you on. You will continue to get your fill of sexually satisfying attention from other guys over social media and private messaging apps like Kik while sitting in the Mercedes he buys you. Eventually you'll have a kid, locking this lifestyle in for life, only misbehaving every once in a while when you've had too much to drink. You'll probably fuck some of his friends or worse, family, just because you can't help but be a dirty slut after a few drinks. He'll forgive you because he's a bitch.

edit: gooby pls

[–]dis_is_amazin 393 ポイント394 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Fuck me this is the top tier roast in the thread for me. Others have been generally on point but you just spelt out the most depressing parts of the next 15 years of her life with with such accuracy and ease.

If I had gold it would be for you.

[–]sjmp75020 9510 ポイント9511 ポイント  (98子コメント)

That's not cleavage it's the Silicon Valley.

[–]LocusRothschild 1146 ポイント1147 ポイント  (16子コメント)

You look like Kate Beckinsale if she were a 38 year old strung out Vegas stripper.

[–]L0kdoggie 526 ポイント527 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Don't say that, Kate Beckinsale doesn't have to suck in her cheeks like this to look pretty.

[–]aylmao43 575 ポイント576 ポイント  (4子コメント)

deleted her reddit account and went back to the Periscope echo chamber where she's showered in compliments by white knights and orbiters. Guess she never expected what she thinks about herself deep down to be posted here by random people.

Probably still reading here while the losers on periscope go unanswered and can't figure out why they never get the attention they deserve.

[–]Redzombie78 165 ポイント166 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Oh you know she's still reading this shit. She can't help herself when she's the topic.

[–]Bencil7 524 ポイント525 ポイント  (3子コメント)

roasted yourself by deleting your account...

[–]bjh182http://redd.it/403ij0 1915 ポイント1916 ポイント  (24子コメント)

Looks like Jared Leto is playing another transvestite in his new movie

[–]WestshoreJayhttp://redd.it/50fhhi 340 ポイント341 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You look like the only thing you know how to add is more makeup.

[–]weaponized_virginity 146 ポイント147 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You should list your Photoshop experience on your job resume.

[–]ComplexChristian 425 ポイント426 ポイント  (6子コメント)

She couldn't bear with the honest truth in the comments so she deleted her account LMAO.

[–]kcdale99 229 ポイント230 ポイント  (4子コメント)

This was one savage roast.... wow. As a professional photographer I work with this type of person often, and some of these are deep cutting indeed.

Been a while since a roastme has made me cringe just a bit (but in the right way).

[–]bulldogg76 655 ポイント656 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I can't decide wether drugs or your 96 year old "husband" is gonna tear that body up first.

[–]asapnano 128 ポイント129 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I bet your Instagram account says you're a "Public Figure". What makes you think you are is the real joke

[–]employmentpages 263 ポイント264 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Underneath the three pounds of makeup and pushup bra you are just another boring bitch that probably likes The Chainsmokers and insisted on the unicorn frappe from Starbucks. Also known as basic.

[–]ajd011394http://redd.it/56tu17 224 ポイント225 ポイント  (2子コメント)

fuck it

No thanks

[–]Whizzing-whizzerhttp://redd.it/6afe1i 302 ポイント303 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I rotated the phone and your forehead took up the whole screen.

[–]GrimsterrOP 621 ポイント622 ポイント  (12子コメント)

I always hate it when a naturally beautiful girl asks to be roasted but luckily that ain't the case for you. You're so insecure you have to hide it all behind all that makeup and compensate your stupidity with your looks. You're probably a gold digger who uses guys for free meals and gonna end up being a single mom

[–]wrestledwithbear 185 ポイント186 ポイント  (0子コメント)

The human incarnation of narcissism. You spend 2 hours on your makeup every morning because deep down you know that without the plastic facade that is your attractiveness, people would see that you are as empty, shallow and worthless as a garbage bag. And at least a garbage is good for putting trash in, what good do you do for the planet, or humanity? You've probably never thought about it. All you ever think about is how many likes on instagram you can get, as if that's some measure of worth, as if it justifies the Oxygen you take from the air, and the resources you consume that could go to people who actually have something to offer to humanity.

[–]Trevino_Is_Herehttp://redd.it/5ryrn8 1186 ポイント1187 ポイント  (8子コメント)

If a push-up bra went up any more it would strangle you

[–]murdill36http://redd.it/4w51mm 1198 ポイント1199 ポイント  (38子コメント)

wrong subreddit. here you go! /r/gonewild

[–]TrueDego 215 ポイント216 ポイント  (2子コメント)

You look like patient 0 of a new STD

[–]paross 38.0k ポイント38.0k ポイント x18 (1290子コメント)

Your implants and cry for attention on here only highlight what you and everyone else already suspect... you are insecure.

Likely your insecurity stems from always questioning if you really ever earned anything by merit. Most people probably hand you things because they like looking at you. But that's made you vapid, shallow, and unable to perform in any way that adds true value in the world.

Your relationships are superficial. Your romance life always has the shadow of doubt. Does he love you... or how you look? If you were disfigured, would anyone give you a second glance based on personality?

That nagging feeling will keep you looking for validation. It keeps you in the gym. It makes you post photos online looking for praise or positive attention. It keeps you going back for a nip here and tuck there. Before long you'll look like Donatella Versace with the personality of one of her handbags.

You'll shift from being the center of attention to being part of a gaggle of women who make rude comments about younger girls because you feel jealous and rude comments about men who no longer pay attention to you.

You'd be better served working on being a better person than hunting for attention on Reddit, but you'll likely die young and your grave will be about as shallow as your personality.

[–]no0b_64 4960 ポイント4961 ポイント  (36子コメント)

I was going to jerk off to this photo. But now I have to jerk off to this comment. Jesus.

[–]Griffin880 685 ポイント686 ポイント  (15子コメント)

If this were a game of marry, fuck, kill I'd fuck the girl, marry the comment, and kill myself because I'd know I've peaked.

[–]xtheory 646 ポイント647 ポイント  (12子コメント)

I'm confused and keep debating which one is going to get the facial first.

[–]Stilkonwheels 4632 ポイント4633 ポイント  (46子コメント)

Damn.... You made her delete the account 😂😂😂

[–]dwwojcik 1902 ポイント1903 ポイント  (6子コメント)

If they don't delete the account you're not doing it right.

[–]Araneatrox 909 ポイント910 ポイント  (22子コメント)

She deleted her Instagram too. The one she was shilling before the thread went nuclear.

That's a fucking flawless victory.

Edit - Instagram is back up. Either a temporary problem my end or a temp shutdown. Still a sight to behold

[–]CrankyAdolf 172 ポイント173 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I commented asking about the roast and got blocked. I think she severely underestimated r/roastme.

[–]TigerFan365 73 ポイント74 ポイント  (0子コメント)

He must have hit the nail on the head 😂

[–]scalesnewby 71 ポイント72 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Na man, she didn't delete her account, she just no longer exist. What little security that remained In her life was shattered the moment this post became a thing. She is gone and she is no more.

[–]Peach_Suppository 15.2k ポイント15.2k ポイント  (171子コメント)

[–]artemasad 6750 ポイント6751 ポイント  (129子コメント)

Jesus I'm from /r/all and enjoy RoastMe posts that pop up here and there. But I have never once read a roast this fucking savage before.

[–]Zombiehype 3656 ポイント3657 ポイント  (65子コメント)

what about that girl so fat that the top roast was a heartfelt advice about how to get help?

[–]TankorSmash 267 ポイント268 ポイント  (16子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/7pW0O.jpg

There was this fat girl on reddit getting hate somewhere, got insulted, acted like nothing bothered her, and this dude's comeback wrecked her.

[–]Lennysa 1682 ポイント1683 ポイント  (40子コメント)

If she wasn't before, she's definitely going to be insecure now.

[–]JonasBrosSuck 759 ポイント760 ポイント  (34子コメント)

wonder if that's the comment that made OP delete the account

[–]Lord_Tachanka 518 ポイント519 ポイント  (21子コメント)

holy shit she did.

[–]elter_ago 385 ポイント386 ポイント  (12子コメント)

this reminds me of that rick and morty episode where rick gets the devil to try and hang himself.

[–]mr_ewe 76 ポイント77 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Or...

You're both pieces of shit and I can prove it mathematically.

Or however that line was.

[–]kenanjd 2457 ポイント2458 ポイント  (21子コメント)

I love this post. It's all fun and games until somebody makes it real with one of these.

[–]Europus_b 238 ポイント239 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Lemme just roast her in some charcoal... oh whoops that's the fusion reactor"

[–]Hatstacker 1758 ポイント1759 ポイント  (13子コメント)

"Before long you'll look like Donatella Versace with the personality of one of her handbags."

10/10 well roasted! I'll add that to my personal stock of zingers, thank you.

[–]YetiPie 150 ポイント151 ポイント  (5子コメント)

"You'll likely die young and your grave will be about as shallow as your personality"

That's what really hit it home for me. Fucking nailed it.

[–]AlwaysFeral 781 ポイント782 ポイント  (10子コメント)

Checked out this post to see snarky one-liners, and instead got to read you demolishing an entire psyche.

[–]redheadedalex 311 ポイント312 ポイント  (6子コメント)

I feel like mine is somehow damaged too. Like I felt the aftershocks of destruction on my own ego. Goddamn

[–]Mango1447 566 ポイント567 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I've seen genocides that involved less immolation. Jesus Christ. You are a goddamn legend.

[–]Useful_ID10TS 213 ポイント214 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Jesus Christ. That was so savage, I am pretty sure that it could be considered a war crime.
That said, this is one of the best roasts I have ever read.

[–]The3rdRighthttp://redd.it/5mr4wh 635 ポイント636 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Vote this as one of the best roasts out there

[–]Nerdloaf 615 ポイント616 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Before long you'll look like Donatella Versace with the personality of one of her handbags.

You beautiful bastard.

[–]bobbyd2657 314 ポイント315 ポイント  (14子コメント)

So... What's the abortion count up to now?

[–]CatfishMeNot 143 ポイント144 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You are the definition of basic, your eyebrows look like they were drawn in a week ago with a Sharpie. You are the girl who sleeps with anyone once she's had a few drinks because that's the best validation in the world for people who hate themselves. Your morning routine leads to posting the same lame ass selfies on Instagram every day for a few compliments so you can feel better about yourself. You spend more time on social media than you do going out. After this thread shakes your entire fucking reality you'll send some nudes to a few male friends so you can feel validated again.

[–]jsimco876 246 ポイント247 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Boob Job - Check

Makeup Youtube video - Check

Estrogen Injections to make you actually look like a woman - Still in progress.

[–]PaleoGuy1http://redd.it/5qf57h 131 ポイント132 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Now do one without your makeup on so your outside matches your ugly inside! It would be like suddenly viewing you through the eyes of Shallow Hal!

[–]IDespiseFatties 130 ポイント131 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Lmao fucking wrecked. This is definitely r/museumofreddit material

[–]Faptain_Hand_Solo 65 ポイント66 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you suck your cheeks in any further, your face is going to implode... and we'd all be grateful.

[–]pewnanner 332 ポイント333 ポイント  (2子コメント)

She deleted her account! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Edit: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha