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Hooray, all ye patriots, for the House Intelligence Committee has locked the dumbest Trump villain, Rep. Devin Nunes, in a closet and told him he’s not allowed to say “Russia” or “wire tapps” ever again, just because he’s under investigation for revealing classified information. Now that the idiot chairman is out of the way, the committee is free to recommence its work, which is to find out just how much the Trump campaign colluded with Russia to steal the election. The Republicans on the committee, of course, are investigating Obama doing “wire tapps” inside Trump’s microwave, because Republicans are like toddlers — you have to give them something to do, otherwise they are just running around screaming and pooping on things.

Anyway, the committee has announced a new open hearing (which we bet we will liveblog!) to happen on May 2, to make up for how Devin Nunes canceled the last scheduled hearing, because he was scared somebody might say something mean about his real dad Donald Trump. Even better than that, the committee has invited former acting attorney general Sally Yates, to come testify. Hooray! She is your hero! Here, have a press release:

Yesterday, the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence sent two letters related to its investigation into Russian active measures during the 2016 election campaign. The first letter was sent to FBI Director James Comey and National Security Advisor Admiral Mike Rogers, inviting them to appear at a closed hearing on May 2, 2017.

The second letter was sent to former CIA Director John Brennan, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper and former Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates inviting them to appear at an open hearing to be scheduled after May 2nd.

Yates was a big part of the reason Nunes canceled that last hearing. The White House had been muttering bullshit at her about how she wasn’t really allowed to testify, because “presidential privilege” or something. She, of course, replied, “Eat me.” So Nunes killed it, because how can Sally Yates hurt Trump’s feelings by testifying if there’s no hearing for her to testify at?

You’ll remember that Yates told the Trump administration A LONG TIME AGO that disgraced former national security adviser Michael Flynn was a foreign agent from ForeignTown, which made them very sad, because the folks squatting in the White House right now wish to be free to collude with Russia and destroy America in peace. So it’ll be fun to see what all they do to keep her from testifying this time. Will they order one million pizzas to her house and stack them up outside her front door so she can’t get out? PROBABLY.

So anyway, please mark your calendars for May 2 as “Sally Yates ‘Bout To Fuck Trump Up, Y’all,” and be HERE at Wonkette, so we can watch it together!

YAY SALLY YATES YAY. Also yay? Your OPEN THREAD!

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! If you like this post, click below, to fund us!

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  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Anyway, the committee has announced a new open hearing (which we bet we will liveblog!) to happen on May 2

    (grabs calendar, pencils in alert)

    • Alt-dog

      I think Evan misread that date:

      …an open hearing to be scheduled after May 2nd.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Saw that after I typed that. Still hoping that the testimony that does take place on May 2 gets leaked, however!

  • FauxAntocles

    Save us, Sally, you’re our only hope!

    • whitroth

      No – we want Susan Rice to testify, too!!!

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        The person who put the British intel dossier together also too.

        • LucindathePook

          The name’s Steele, Christopher Steele. Yep.

    • Lascauxcaveman

      AOT,K. To testify.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    So it’ll be fun to see what all they do to keep her from testifying this time. Will they order one million pizzas to her house and stack them up outside her front door so she can’t get out? PROBABLY.

    I just hope she has a good car mechanic. And this would be a good time for her to upgrade her home security system!

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      And a bad time to install any jacuzzis. Or get near a window.

    • Marsupial99

      Maybe she would be willing to go into protective custody for a few weeks.

  • HelenBackAgain

    Per the press release quoted by Wonkette, May 2 is a closed hearing with Comey and Rogers, and Clapper’s and Yates’ appearances will be scheduled “after May 2nd.” There are a few corrections to make here!

  • mailman27

    There better be some got-damn pee hookers!!1!!!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • CindyinEncinitas
  • whitroth

    Oh, please, let this happen. I *so* much want her to testify….

    Can I send her flowers to celebrate, afterwards?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Warning for those of you who like to monitor our enemies:

    https://twitter.com/TeaPainUSA/status/855513978239422464

    • Marceline

      Given how much my workplace likes Trump I may just open up Wikileaks on my work computer and leave it up all weekend.

      • memzilla Ω

        For heaven’s sake, remember to not disable the antivirus or firewall!

  • Shoto
    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Gah, every photo I see of Mar a Lardo looks tackier and tackier

      • maxneanderthal

        I think “Screamingly camp” is the description your looking for. It looks like a Wet Dream of the demon love child of Liberace and Siegfried and Roy..

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Thank dog I wasn’t drinking anything, I would have spewed!

    • SterWonk

      Is that actually what the entrance to Mar-a-Lago looks like? Wow. Just … wow.

      “Subtle” is not in 45’s vocabulary, is it?

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    Maybe Jason Chaffetz doesn’t have a scandal, he’s just complicit and he thinks he’ll escape the nuclear stink on everyone involved with Donnie after everything comes to light.

    • Shoto

      Or maybe he was afraid he’d get his ass kicked by a girl in 2018.

      https://twitter.com/kathieallenmd/status/854811608479965184

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      I’m hoping for scandal. Don’t dash my hopes!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Stolichnaya enemas.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Ooh. That actually made me tingle in places better left unmentioned.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD LOL

  • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy
    • Vincent Ricola

      It’s sad to see so many people helping Donald Trump try to kill Obama’s legacy, all in the name of pseudo-intellectual sounding social media post attention.

      • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

        It must be nice being a professional moron. Seriously.

        • OrG

          I prefer to maintain amateur status.

          • Lascauxcaveman

            Stay pure, man. Stay hungry.

    • Marceline

      I love the people on the right and left who try to shade Obama for living that post-White House life like a boss. Screw them. I’m going to let VerySmartBrothas cover this for me.

      “I want them to get (and stay!) as far away from here as possible. They already gave us enough. I want them to deep-sea dive and spelunk; to para-sail and learn to practice Kundalini yoga; to spend an entire year milking cows in Aruba and eating fistfuls of Frosted Flakes straight from the box; to binge-watch The Young Pope and BBQ butt-ass-naked. The paparazzi photos and Instagram updates of them doing exactly that are nice, but I don’t even want that. Fuck a postcard, I don’t want to know where they are. Shit, I don’t even want them to know where they are, because they’re too gone off the genetically engineered molly Barack has access to and they’re finally allow to take to give a damn.

      http://verysmartbrothas.com/i-dont-want-the-obamas-to-come-back/

      • mancityRed6

        dammit, I almost posted on that until I saw the last one was 22 days ago.

    • boyblue122

      Meanwhile Trump golfs every weekend while in office

      • PressSecretaryCaptainHowdy

        “the lesson is that Both Sides Do It but the Democrats are worse”
        http://www.lawyersgunsmoneyblog.com/2017/04/swamp-drained-yet

        • Gregory Brown

          Which is sarcasm, since the article makes the point that Trump and the GOTeabag party are worse. .

      • Thiazin Red

        While we also pay out huge sums so that his wife and kid don’t have to live with him.

    • mancityRed6

      I’m still stuck on “carastrophe”

    • Nockular cavity

      Sure. And I blame LBJ for Iran-Contra, and John Quincy Adams for the Civil War.

      • Lascauxcaveman

        And Alexander the Great for the Norman Conquest; don’t forget that one.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Norman certainly didn’t.

    • msanthropesmr

      Is Matt Stoller actively trying to take the crown of the smoti?

    • Gregory Brown

      As if Obama should have any more fucks to give after putting up with the GOP, racist bastards (but I repeat myself) and the great American public for eight years.

    • Nockular cavity

      Who the shit is this high-school fuckweasel Matt Stoller anyway? “Oh no, the anger and panic at Trump obscures the fact that we should blame everything the rest of the country does on the black guy!”

      • kindness

        Ever read MyDD? Apparently he used to post there.

    • Jukesgrrl

      Not that I think anyone makes a billion dollars or more being a “nice guy,” but Stoller might want to note that Obama’s rich friends (Branson, yacht-owner David Geffen, and Jay-Z all made their initial bank on MUSIC). Not oil, not pharmaceuticals, not tobacco, not fleecing the elderly. Music. FFS.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Hey, Stoller, you worthless twunt… that might be the most words I’ve ever seen used to say ‘it’s Obama’s fault.’

      • “M”

        *tsk*
        What would they do with themselves without a scapegoat man of color.

        :-/

  • Mary Sandoras

    Open thread? That’s means it’s time for a glass of wine here.

  • Chadwells
  • Vincent Ricola

    “… and then when I told him that we had evidence that everyone in the Trump transition team were a bunch of sloppy russian agents, he fired me.” – Sally Yates future testimony.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/794906fb8c8d310f01b13f0582b303edc2f8641e873cef323f548f21b7eb66e6.jpg

  • Chadwells
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Leaving you good Wonkers for now with this good comeback from George Takei:

    https://twitter.com/GeorgeTakei/status/855258253843935232

    https://twitter.com/nytimes/status/855247484607766528

    • schmannity

      Island in the Pacific says turd in the swimming pool.

  • Me not sure

    When she does testify, I want it to be the biglyest, yoooogest, best words incriminating testimony ever testimoned, and then I want her to run for Governor of Georgia, or even better, US Senate, BECAUSE JOHNNY ISAACSON IS FUCKING BEATABLE!

  • BloviateMe
    • Anna Elizabeth

      This is hilarious. XD

      EDIT – even betters – I have Jack White on my headphones, and this guy’s dancing is in time with the music!

    • Gregory Brown

      He has exquisite rhythm.

  • Fartknocker

    I ask the Committee on May 2nd to remember this quote at the start of the hearing:

    “Lets just be smart this time. I’m looking for smart.”
    VPOTUS Joe Biden

  • HazooToo
  • Jennifer R
    • Mary Sandoras

      Why these eight cities were singled out of the nearly 600 sanctuary jurisdictions across the country is unclear.

      Just a guess, are they blue?

      • ltmcdies

        If those cities are blue …who the fuck is Sessions talking to but the southern rubes who are a scareeed of the colored foreign folk

        also…don’t claim to be a Constitution lover there Sessions….there’s a couple of amendments and court rulings against you.

      • Jennifer R

        Cutting funding to NYC seems like a fast track to Issues.

    • Suttree

      Your cities are crumbling because of violent crime or something? So we are going to cut your funding! Makes perfect sense you stupid inbred hillbilly. Also too fuck you!

      • Suttree

        And also, please fuck with NYC! Please motherfucker! NYC will spit in your face and then hopefully pull all of the cops from Turnip’s sanctuary.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I can’t wait until they try to deport the brown people from San Diego. The place would look like the rapture came. Among other things, there would be nothing to eat, the 1% would have to get reacquainted with their children, and all the cars would be filthy.

    • TJ Barke

      That little fucker would have been happy as a pig in shit in late 30s germany.

      • Jennifer R

        He would frown at the amphetamine use.

        • TJ Barke

          Naw, them’s pills from doctors, that makes it A-OK.

  • IdRatherBeDancing

    I want to be the Shame Lady from GOTs (pre Cersuie’s (however the fuck you spell it) revenge) who gets to perp walk Michael Flynn (and his idiot son just for kicks) naked down Pennsylvania Avenue to the stocks.

  • Mary Sandoras
    • Contemplative Ron

      ‘… it was the cat, man, I swear!’

    • Persistent Demme

      OMG!
      Those eyes!

      • Contemplative Ron

        I had a spaniel who was champion at those eyes. Makes my heart melt just thinking about it after all these years.

        • Persistent Demme

          Spaniels are eye geniuses. (Eyebrows, too.)
          Such “melty” dogs.
          We used to have an English Cocker.
          What a love he was!

  • Chadwells
    • OrG

      Does re-accommodated mean what I think it means?

      • Chadwells

        Nah…

        “Oscar Munoz will no longer be taking on the chairman role and that it will revamp executive compensation incentives.”

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Notice in this cnbc story, the young-middle-aged doctor (maybe 45 at the most?) is characterized for some reason as “elderly”

          http://www.cnbc.com/2017/04/21/united-continental-says-ceo-oscar-munoz-wont-become-chairman-as-planned.html

          • OrG

            45 is NOT elderly.

          • Chadwells

            I’m 45 damnit!! That isn’t OLD!!! LOL!

          • Suttree

            I’m 40 and I feel old and broken in body. but young at heart. But I’m still handsome as hell.

          • Carpe Vagenda

            Off my lawn, youngling.

          • Jamoche

            I thought he was in his 60s?

          • Spurning Beer

            Yes, 69, I think. He looked younger. Maybe it was the blood.

          • boyblue122

            What are they implying? Hes bleeding a lot not because the officers beat him up that bad, its just that hes old and fragile?

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Not sure. Did he lose any teeth in the process?

      • Zippy W Pinhead

        AKA dragged out of his office in a bloody mess

    • Carpe Vagenda

      What a fucking shame. I guess he shouldn’t have gotten in the way of corporate profits. Hope he didn’t bang his head on the way out.

  • memzilla Ω

    Yesterday, the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence sent two letters related to its investigation into Russian active measures during the 2016 election.

    Tellingly, they are using the term “active measures,” from the straight-up KGB/FSB term, “aktivniyye meropriyatiya.”

    “[Dezinformatsiya], however, is only one component of what the Russians call aktivniyye meropriyatiya (Active Measures), which is a vital Chekist concept lacking a precise Western equivalent. It roughly aligns with our notion of political warfare, albeit with a highly clandestine side. The bureaucratically bland-sounding KGB definition of Active Measures covers a broad brush of nefarious spy-games:

    “Agent-operational measures aimed at exerting useful influence on aspects of the political life of a target country which are of interest, its foreign policy, the solution of international problems, misleading the adversary, undermining and weakening his positions, the disruption of his hostile plans, and the achievement of other aims.”

    • tomamitai

      Did they learn it from the $cientologists, or was it the other way round?

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    Let’s hope Yates doesn’t accidentally slip in the shower and fall out of a ten-storey window and into a vat of polonium on the way to the hearing.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I don’t mean to be all nit-picky about it, but I think the below says Our Gal and Bad Ass Sal will testify after May 2 , sometime.

    “The second letter was sent to former CIA Director John Brennan, Director of National Intelligence James Clapper and former Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates inviting them to appear at an open hearing to be scheduled after May 2nd.”

    • puredog

      In fact, it could be read to say that not even the *scheduling* will occur until after May 2d, so that it could well be a LONG time after May 2d.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Que the oppo research buzz on Yates. How she missed curfew that one time or once got a C on that math test.

    • C4TWOMAN

      And forgot to return her library books.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      I hear she may have smoked some Soros superweed in high school

      • C4TWOMAN

        And–GASP–jaywalking.

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        Dated Alex Jones?

        • mancityRed6

          you shut your mouth

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            she was so much younger then. she’s so much older than that now.

          • mancityRed6

            I’ve made my own share of bad mistakes, but still. That is a bridge too far.

    • OrG

      Suspected Democrat.

    • notaten

      I totally see her as an unrepentant bunny protector.

    • TJ Barke

      I bet she’s had sex for non-reproductive purposes!

  • HazooToo
    • TJ Barke

      Thank god we cancelled meals on wheels…

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Remember the good old days when we laughed about him flying home every night from the campaign trail because he liked to sleep in his own bed?

      • HazooToo

        And now, we’re paying millions of dollars per week for his wife to do nothing whatsoever except live in Trump Tower. I wish I could go back and warn us.

  • msanthropesmr
  • ManchuCandidate

    When Sally Met Donald?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Trump says Paris attack will help Le Pen in election

    President Donald Trump waded into France’s upcoming elections Friday, saying he believes an attack on police officers this week will help Marine Le Pen, the far-right presidential candidate.

    SHUT THE FUCK DUMBASS!

    • cmd resistor

      Seems like most if not all of these guys shooting up France started out as basic French criminals who got radicalized in French prisons. So the answer doesn’t seem to be closing the borders?

      • Spurning Beer

        You know, I kind of thought that in French prison, inmates would convert to being Huguenot.

        • cmd resistor

          I thought the Huguenots ran away to Florida.

      • Claire

        Yeah, that whole line of reasoning is just weirdly dependent on a 20th-century worldview where communication occurs face-to-face and the internet doesn’t exist. It’s so counter to the lived experience of basically everyone under 65 that I can’t help wondering if the whole thing isn’t just a code for “I don’t want to see brown faces around me, fix the borders so that doesn’t happen anymore.”

    • TJ Barke

      It probably will, which is suspicious as fuck.

    • Chadwells

      And every terrorism expert asked was like “Nope. Wrong.”

    • jesterpunk
    • Persistent Demme

      Think of it this way:
      The more the Donald talks/tweets, the stronger the resolve to vote against Le Pen grows.
      He won’t persuade anyone who isn’t already voting for her, and may help to GOTV for the other side.

  • DerpyGurdyMan
  • Major_Major_Major

    Ima go on record as saying that Sally Badass Yates is my secondary crush after Mrs. M3. Just like Mrs. M3.she is(almost as) pretty, whip smart, and don’t take no shit.

  • Thiazin Red

    After I saw Labyrinth as a small child, I tried selling my baby sister to the goblins a few times. I knew the difference between real and movies, but I didn’t like having a baby around and living in Labyrinth world looked pretty sweet, so it was worth a shot. But man if this super sweet Jareth doll had been around then, I would have tried a hell of a lot harder.

    https://mcfarlane.com/toys/jareth/

    • Jamoche

      It seems… underendowed. (What?. You know you were all thinking it.)

      But yeah, other than that, it’s pretty awesome.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      My older and sister and I gave our younger sister to a homeless dude in Washington DC. In the 1970’s. I still don’t like her.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Suttree

      They actually have those glasses with a line at the center point. I have always wanted one.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Scientist:
      The glass is full.

      • SterWonk

        Civil Engineer: The glass has a safety factor of 2.

        Most other Engineers: The glass is twice as large as necessary.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Republican:
      That’s MY glass!

      • MynameisBlarney

        Libertarian:
        What’s a glass?

        • Lascauxcaveman

          Democrat: Let’s share the whole bottle. And get a couple more.

  • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

    Breaking news on CNN: Sources: Russia tried to use Trump advisers to infiltrate campaign http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/21/politics/russia-trump-campaign-advisers-infiltrate/index.html

    • TJ Barke

      Something tell me they got farther than just “trying”…

      • boyblue122

        I know, Wilbur Ross and Tillerson were senate confirmed

    • Suttree

      So someone at CNN took all of the stuff that is already known, and put it together for a 5 pm news dump on a Friday. Wow. I guess they made their quota this week. Off to the bar!

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      Rachel, Patron Saint of Liberals; reported this weeks ago.

    • kindness

      While most of us figure the Russians had Trump so what is the point of advisers?

  • Chadwells

    LOLOLOL!!! Man…FUUUUUUUCK YOU!!!

    “Alex Jones urges media to be ‘respectful and responsible'”

    http://thehill.com/homenews/news/329955-alex-jones-to-media-be-respectful-of-my-family

    • Contemplative Ron

      You first, little Alex.

    • Bobathonic

      Chill out Alex, they’re just acting. They don’t really believe all that stuff, they just yap it on teevee for moneys. Like you do.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Up yours Amnesia Fart-Man. You’ve been trading on Fear, Insults, worse for decades.

    • Jurassic Ezio

      So in other words, he urges media to not treat him like he treats everyone else?

      • Contemplative Ron

        The Reverse Golden Rule

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Oh, right, sure, Alex, you ignorant cunt.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Karma is a… what’s the word? Oh, never mind. Fuck you, Alex. Go cry it out.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Chaffetz, Sessions, Nunes, Bannon.

    Revoke their passports!

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • mancityRed6

      hookers and blow libelz!

      • Suttree

        One thing leads to another. At least for normal people. He’s worried about bigger things than that. At least on Monday morning.

      • Bobathonic

        Sensitive viewers may wish to avert their eyes:

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jO6-HrE1dSk

    • TJ Barke

      How the fuck does the RNC raising cash do anything to make anything great again?

      • Suttree

        Also, has anyone being following the money from Turnip starting his campaign on January 20th? Or is that just forgotten because of all of the other bullshit.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          They also took in twice as much money for the inauguration than Obama in 2009 and only had to pay for half as much inauguration (and that’s being generous).

          What’s the deal with all that money?

          • Suttree

            IDK. I haven’t seen anything in the news about it. Someone needs to get to Rachel Maddow and makes sure she is reminded of this! I don’t know how to do it.

      • OrG

        If you’re a rethug with an​ “I’m for sale” sign it’s wonderful.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          And now we know the price. $5K a year for monthly access.

          For the fatcats that’ll take advantage of that, that’s like $20 blowjobs.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Makes their chequing accounts great again.

    • Internet Hitler

      No no no, Donald. We said release tax returns, not reform!

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      Crap. I read that as “Trump Says Will Release Tax Returns.” And now I haz a sad. And poor vision.

      • Jurassic Ezio

        He might as well. If they can rationalize his cabinet picks, I’m sure they can rationalize whatever is on there, too.

      • Elvis Causticfellow

        I did the same. I think Drudge worded it that way on purpose.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          He worried away on a porpoise?

    • Jurassic Ezio

      He’s going to release his package?

      *Looks away*

    • Nockular cavity
  • Elvis Causticfellow

    John Waters, interviewed for the “By the Book” series in the NY Times:

    “Q: If you could require the president to read one book, what would it be?

    “A: Surgery of the Anus, Rectum and Colon, by J. C. Goligher.”

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    Ex-President Barack Obama to hold first public event since leaving office, in Chicago on Monday

    Former President Barack Obama will speak to young people at the University of Chicago on Monday, returning to the city for what will be his first public event since leaving the White House.

    Obama and young leaders will hold a conversation on civic engagement and discuss community organizing at the university’s Logan Center for the Arts, his office announced Friday.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      Obama finally gets to talk to the young people without scaring right wing nutters.

      http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/09/03/parents-choose-allow-kids-hear-obamas-national-address.html

      • mancityRed6

        “Gordon, of Tampa, Fla., is among a growing number of parents across the country who are troubled by the president’s plan to address elementary, middle and high school students in an online and televised speech Tuesday.

        “It’s a form of indoctrination, and I think, really, it’s indicative of the culture that the Obama administration is trying to create,” Gordon told Fox news on Thursday. “It’s very socialistic.””
        Meanwhile, Gordon sends his kids to a school paid for by anyone, renters and owners alike, who somehow pays for their property tax. Gordon is a idiot.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Be nice, I’m sure he worked long and hard at becoming an idiot.

          • mancityRed6

            well, I mean it did say Tampa

        • HazooToo

          oh for fuck’s sake

    • boyblue122

      Drumpf going to throw a hissy fit if this gets the slightest bit of coverage

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        One can only hope.

  • kindness

    Can Sally use one of those Texas girls Cocks not Glocks on Trump when she fucks him? Now THAT I would want to watch. No, not because I like that sort of thing. I just want to see the look on Trump’s face when she does, that’s all.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    OT, but related, as always. The NYT tweets “Trump keeps global rivals off balance with improvisational foreign policy, but it has risks”.

    Two things: https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/42ed38faf55497f8aec3a46707c5709abe0881c154c0cea11717cb56d97a6d3f.jpg

    and
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/96c3cbcc104e141be3bf06d85407777feb4f3fdcc721555314cdea7ce8202f3a.jpg

    • Suttree

      Fuck you NYT! Pansy ass fuckers!

    • Elvis Causticfellow

      Do those people know what “but” means?

      • Suttree

        No. If they did, that would be the beginning of the headline.

    • boyblue122

      Trump threatens global thermo-nuclear war and the end of the world as we know it, but….

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      If I want improv comedy, Second City is my go to.

    • jesterpunk

      Anytime someone says both sides are the same I want to do this with sharp pointy votes.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/13HXKG2HGN8aPK/giphy.gif

    • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

      “Improvisational Foreign Policy” also known as “Not knowing what the fuck you’re doing.”

      • Suttree

        I have an improvisational style at both brain surgery and fusion jazz.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Sounds legit. Open my skull!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            While you shred on that sweet Strat!

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Surgery and a show!

    • mancityRed6

      try this to get your blood boiling:
      http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/no-hillary-kick-around-new-york-times
      Oh, they seemed to have learned so much from their coverage of the last election, not!

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      No shit!

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Foreign Affairs Magazine says that you can play a new game with any Trump policy/action: Nefarious or stupid?

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Donald says the 100 day measurement is unfair. He thought 2017 was a leap year.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy-leather, second-hand, electric donkey bottom biter.

  • CindyinEncinitas
    • Villago Delenda Est

      Single malt, sil vous plait.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        Comme vous le souhaitez, mom frere.

    • maxneanderthal

      Bloody hipsters…

      • tehbaddr

        But he sourced those sprinkles, and artisanally created the drink, you know being a mixologist! (Hate Barkeeps and Places like that!)

        • Thiazin Red

          Making my god damn drink should not take 15 minutes!

        • Riley Whodat Venable

          I do to. My drink was Scotch. No water. No ice. No botanicals, no stirrer. On holidays add a shot of Scotch with a Busch chaser. That was me, forget the mountains, show me your Busch.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Anyone with a man-bun should be sunned.

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Sunned or shunned?

          • tehbaddr

            Left out to dry in the sun without vitamin water.

          • maxneanderthal

            “The horror! The horror!”

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            Shunned. Even though most of those fuckers are what I like to call “Dead Fish White” complected. I’m really fucked up on allergy pills.

          • Riley Whodat Venable

            Ain’t no buzz like a Benadryl buzz cause a Benadryl buzz is… Wait, what were we talking about? Has your forehead always been Orange? Why are my legs melting?

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Or stunned?

          • fredoandme

            there it is!

            hadda be here somewhere.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Oooh I’ll drink it. It looks delicious.

    • HazooToo

      Now THAT is the national animal of Scotland!

  • ltmcdies

    OT … in response to threatened Milk & Cheese War with the ‘Murica …Trudeau develops plan to block US/Can waterways..

    https://www.wired.com/2017/04/enormous-hunk-ice-gets-stuck-iceberg-alley/?mbid=social_twitter

    • Chadwells

      I can’t get past this…ugh:

      “The US Coast Guard says at least 600 icebergs have wandered into North Atlantic shipping lanes, up from the 80 typically seen at this time of year.”

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Oh great, now we have a flood of immigrant icebergs!

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Build the Seawall!

      • ltmcdies

        Yeh… something to ponder huh

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist
      • IOnlyLikeCats

        It’s not disfigurement, they’re ornaments. They’ve been around a lot longer than the idea of white people, also too.

      • Maclare

        M&C! “Gin up and riot!”

      • Thiazin Red

        For some reason the label STRONG DRINK is the funniest thing to me.

        • Nockular cavity

          That’s what I’m drinking!

    • boyblue122

      No global warming. You global warming

  • Alexander Stallwitz

    I am going to share a theory i been working on.

    General Wesley Clark has claimed he saw a memo in the Pentagon after 9/11 that planned to take out 7 countries in 5 years. Iraq, Libya, Lebanon, Syria, Somalia, Sudan, and Iran. I fully believe that the Bush administration intented to follow through but Iraq turned into such a massive clusterfuck, they had to shelved it. Trump i think is going to pick up where Bush left off. Trump’s failed immigration ban covered 6 of the seven countries we were going to invade. I think Trump intents to go after Syria or Iran first. Hes scheming to break the peace treaty Obama made as we speak. I think Trump and his minions want to turn the middle east into a colony we can exploit for oil. This is in preperation for the big war. The main event if you will. This will be against China. I firmly believe if we do this it will trigger World War 3 and at the risk of hyperbole. The end of World as we know it. I really hope I am wrong . I am interested in what everypony thinks.

    As a thank you have a Capybara hugging a cat https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/41ae4618117fa571b5cbc5bbcbe410d5fbfb49dbb9f75c863d74d51db61a9e1b.jpg

    • TundraGrifter

      What does a cat call a Capybara?

      “Dinner.”

      • mancityRed6

        I would say the size difference is a factor, but I know of a farm cat my grandparents had that ended the life of a possum twice her size, so…maybe not so much.

    • Suttree

      IIRC this came from a 2000? memo at the PNAC. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_for_the_New_American_Century It was the older Republican’s plan. They just throw the idiots out front now to do the work of fooling the populace.

    • mancityRed6

      “Trump i think is going to pick up where Bush left off.”
      You do know that would involve planning, right?

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Not if he’s following Bush’s lead.

        • mancityRed6

          there was planning, just not from W

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Its debatable how much planning Bush II do for Iraq.

    • Paperless Tiger

      Something like that. I think they (Wall Street) just want to build and control some pipelines, mainly the one to Haifa, which would give Israel plenty of oil to burn. War reporting tends to focus on politics, religion, and weapons technology, but wars really run on massive amounts of fuel, like everything else.

    • Ron Suskind’s book with former treasury secretary Paul O’Neill, “The Price of Loyalty”, touches on the nefarious ambitions of the Bush/Cheney/Wolfowitz/Rumsfeld alliance following 9/11. His outrage over their plan is what contributed to his early resignation.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Kurt Eichenwald wrote a excellent book called 500 days about the days after 9/11, he discusses at length about Iraq and how we were gungho to attack after 9/11

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      We would exhaust and bankrupt ourselves long before we got to war with China. Once you invade a country and topple its government, there comes occupation. We don’t have the money or the means, unless the US has been secretly cultivating ready made Quisling governments for each of these countries. Then there’s that thing called world opinion. Who would believe or trust the Trump Administration? We could find ourselves fighting a war with our traditional allies arrayed against us.

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        That would be the best case scenario, but in reality, we’d be lucky if they started sanctioning us.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I wish they would do it now. I wish the U.N. would send him a sternly worded letter right now.

      • Claire

        Jesus, who believes or trusts the Trump administration now? There’s no foreign head of state who just fell off the turnip truck. I think in a situation of actual declared war, having no allies is about the *best* we could hope for.

      • Alexander Stallwitz

        Nods, the problem is I am not sure Trump and the republicans give a shit about world opinion. I think they are that arrogant and stupid to do it anyway. As for what would happen after we invade. I don’t think they thought that through either. I mean they didnt plan what would happen after we toppled Saddam. I am not sure they learned anything from Iraq or even fucking Vietnam.

    • tehbaddr

      My week is now complete, thank you!
      Edit: for the Cappy and Puss. The other shit I’ve been trying to ignore, not good for the head or blood pressure.

    • Rags

      A Rodent of Unusual Size. (And pretty tasty, by the way….)

  • tehbaddr

    Hooray! Smart progressive women give me the chubby!

    • Suttree

      Get in line! Not too close behind me though. :P

      • tehbaddr

        No those aren’t a roll of lifesavers in my pocket!

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Golf pencil?

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      They’re the only women, other than Beyonce, of course, that give me a chubby.

    • mancityRed6

      ugh, it’s all this junk food and liquor…oh, we’re talking bellies here, right?

      • tehbaddr

        Tumescence.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I was hoping no one was going to explain and leave me in blissful ignorance.

          • tehbaddr

            Well at least I didn’t say raging libtard hard-on! Ooops, uh, sorry!

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Is TLM going to weigh in on this? Turgid? Hello?

          • tehbaddr

            She doesn’t have the right sort of “stinky areas” he’s interested in. At least in that it is not male.

          • maxneanderthal

            I think you mean a “fluffed up Battle Cat”…

          • tehbaddr

            Ms. “Danger Pussy” is that you?

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            New here?

    • Jon Sussex
  • Raan

    Tried sauteing green beans from my vegetable garden for dinner. Will let all of you know how it goes, as I’m still cooking the pork chops for the main.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Do you deliver or just do take-outs?

    • Shoto

      Is the bacon tree ready to be harvested yet? Because green beans and bacon, amirite?

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Me and Jonny have a philosophical difference regarding green beans. Being from California, Jonny thinks vegetables should be lightly cooked, retaining their nutrients and color. Being from the south, I think vegetables should be cooked into submission, adding as many calories as possible, until they become a different category in the food pyramid.

      • mancityRed6

        deep fried never hurt noone nohow

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I just felt my blood sugar go up.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Glaswegian Mars Bar Libels!!!!!

        • Persistent Demme

          I wish…

      • IOnlyLikeCats

        There’s a medium there somewhere…

      • Marion in Savannah

        Lightly cooked can be okay, as long as the word “cooked” is given some attention. I’m really over being given veggies that are supposed to have seen the inside of some cooking utensil that are still damn near cold in the middle. If I wanted a raw veggie salad I’d have asked for one…

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Some are good both ways. Cabbage, for instance. Crunchy slaw is great, but so is a thoroughly fried cabbage with bacon.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          I like to mix in some meat product with my green beans. If I’m really lazy, right after I’ve cooked chicken or bacon I’ll just throw a can into the skillet. It’s how I’ve gotten around some of my sodium restrictions.

          • Lance Thrustwell

            Oh yeah – meat grease and vegetables usually works. The king of fats, however, is pork fat.

          • Vienna Woods

            Bacon fat. I store it in the fridge.

          • Raan

            That’s what I did with the beans. I figure one fat’s as good as another for heat transfer. And when you account for flavor, bacon grease ties with butter.

          • Suttree

            Butter ties with everything. Ask me how I know!

        • DrBigHead

          Its like they are two different vegetables that I cannot decide which I like better — barely sauteed or cooked forever with bacon. Both make me happy.

      • Vienna Woods

        Ever since reading an article in Vogue years ago about green beans, I have been on the cook ’em hard team. The only vegetable I treat such, but DAMN, their flavour is so much better when cooked long.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          I like my vegetables crunchy. A couple of minutes at most.

          • puredog

            I like my veggies crunchy
            Coupla minutes, at the most —
            Yes I like those veggies crunchy,
            But not as much as toast.

            Theng yew, theng yew, I’ll be here all week, don’t forget to tip your server.

      • Suttree

        So, who gets the bacon?

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I fixed it by cooking nothing but bacon.

          • Suttree

            You are a very smart woman! I think that I have finally taught Lizzie to cook bacon. On the off chance that I lose my hands.

          • Ms.MLG on Maui

            Cooking bacon in the oven is the way to go!

      • Suttree

        It should depend on what the main dish is. Or just pull some out early and leave them to get cold for him.

    • maxneanderthal

      Summers coming, salade nicoise WILL be in the house…

    • Raan

      They came out alright. A little bitter, but I think I was cooking them at too high of a heat. I made up a good handful of beans (probably about 12-18 pods) cut into maybe half-inch lengths, with about 3/4 tbsp of bacon grease and a small clove of garlic chopped up.

      • LucindathePook

        Niece-in-law made garlicky green beans for Easter. Awesome. Also gave me the ham hock for soup.

  • theblackdog

    Oh please oh please oh please let this end up being more epic that Hillz owning the Benghazi committee for 11 hours.

    • Suttree

      That was defense. This is offense!

  • Bill D. Burger
  • mancityRed6

    Trump has a deal for the Democrats re: healthcare and the wall:
    http://crooksandliars.com/2017/04/trump-makes-democrats-offer-they

  • Bill D. Burger
    • mancityRed6

      every time I hear that bastard speak, I am ashamed.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Jefferson B Sessions visits the border at El Paso and is shocked to learn the city was originally El Paso de Norte, meaning The Passageway to the North.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Or, The Naughty Passageway, as wonkers probably like to refer to it.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, III is shocked to see white waiters.

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        He prolly tips them just as badly.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    The result this week was something we’ve seldom seen since President Trump took office — a week without a crisis.

    http://www.latimes.com/politics/la-pol-essential-politics-20170421-story.html

    • Contemplative Ron

      Apart from the ongoing one?

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      Yet…

      • Contemplative Ron

        Yeah, it’s only Friday.

    • Bobathonic

      A week without a *new* crisis. None of his crises are resolved yet.

      • Suttree

        SHSD. should have scrolled down

    • snark-lurker

      wait…30 hours left in this week

    • mancityRed6

      ooh ooh, I wonder what he’ll tweet out tomorrow?

    • Suttree

      A new crisis.
      FTFT

  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

    I hope she has security keeping an eye on her (seriously.) The Russian mafia doesn’t play around.

  • mancityRed6

    Car is titled and tagged. Weird, I thought I’d be walking out of the license bureau with a 60 day tag, but they let me transfer my old tag and gave me new stickers to put on it. All for only $360. I’m good until November, when I have to buy another fancy sticker.
    But, I didn’t actually have to wait in the DMV. I can call and get put in the queue and sit outside or drive there and not have to wait for hours for my number to be called.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      DMV: The Eighth Ring of Hell. That is all.

      • mancityRed6

        It was the same in the Target I hit up on the way home: 19 registers but only four were open.

  • Charles Wolf

    Under Trump the Pro-Life movement becomes Forced Military Birthing Camps aka Soldier Farms.
    How else can we carry on a 13 front war?

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    The son of a Russian lawmaker was sentenced on Friday by a U.S. federal court to 27 years in prison after being convicted of hacking into U.S. small businesses and financial institutions, causing more than $169 million in damages.

    Roman Seleznev was found guilty last year by a jury in Seattle on 38 counts in a scheme that prosecutors said involved hacking into point-of-sale computers to steal credit card numbers and sell them on the Internet.

    Seleznev is the son of Valery Seleznev, a member of the Russian parliament, and Russia called his arrest in the Maldives in 2014 a “kidnapping.”

    http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-cyber-russia-idUSKBN17N2GY

  • Mary Sandoras

  • Uh oh, Carter Page has been played like a pinball machine at a Greyhound Station (no surprise):

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/04/21/politics/russia-trump-campaign-advisers-infiltrate/index.html

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • mancityRed6

      What’s this “tried” bullshit?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Oh SHIT that’s a scapegoating under-bus-throw setup if I ever saw one. Cut it out, CNN! You’re making it easy for them.

      • OrG

        One bad apple, nothing more. Move along, nothing to see here.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      After seeing Page on TV, his best defense at trial is diminished mental capacity or he smoked too much weed.

      • jesterpunk

        I could believe the first part, he did work for Trump willingly after all.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    So I am taking a brief break from starting to tame my yard. JFC, why does every stupid plant have thorns? And I cannot even begin to describe how very much I hate blackberry bushes. I’d love to just stop for the day, but this is apparently the only not rainy day expected for the foreseeable future.

    Any songs, pics, or words of encouragement would be gratefully received.

    • tehbaddr

      It has thorns because the fruit is tasty. Like many things in life.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Man I loved those bushes as a kid. I would eat ’em all day long. The berries, that is.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        This one was attempting to take over my back patio. It damn near succeeded too.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          Ouch!

        • puredog

          I trimmed my bush and it made my deck look bigger.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        I mean, who doesn’t like to munch on a nice bush every once in a while?

      • tehbaddr

        Weakling! I used to chew the tender end with the berries thorns and all! Why back in the day I wouldn’t go any where near a plant or sweet treat that didn’t hurt!

    • snark-lurker

      “Hi-ho, Hi-ho…”

    • mancityRed6

      be glad you don’t have honeysuckle?
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/f1541948c25f6ae617b7571440ab2a5b5c1ff1a03bc9b0e944eceef137bf21b4.jpg
      All that green flowering off the right, and the green around the tree, center right, and the green all over the fence? Honey suckle.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Does it have giant, flesh-tearing thorns? Tell you what – I’ll trade you.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          No, honey suckle has never wounded me. Blackberry got me Monday again.

      • HazooToo

        Honeysuckle is my childhood! I will take that shit in a heartbeat!

        • mancityRed6

          then do I have a house for you. 600 sq foot, attached garage, and all the honeysuckle and wild grapevine you could ever want.

          • HazooToo

            Sounds fantastic. You live in a Trump county, don’t you? That’s got to be the catch.

          • mancityRed6

            I kinda do, but the ex doesn’t. Douglas County, home seat Lawrence Kansas, home of KU.
            Literally just a short 6 block walk up a very steep hill until you get to campus. Also, drug store and locally owned grocery store 2 blocks away.
            Minor flooding problems with the street and the backyard, there is no crawlspace just a slither space, but you can re plumb the entire house with less than 50′ of pipe. Washer/dryer connections in the garage.
            And about $75k for a one bedroom, one bath.

          • HazooToo

            Hooboy. I think I can do without the honeysuckle, if it means moving to Kansas. Besides, my Dad would go berserk mowing it down to nothing, anyway… all of my pretty flowers are gone.

          • mancityRed6

            yeah, but you’re only a half hour away from KC or Topeka…yeah, ok. I see my point.

    • jesterpunk

      Do you have any kids around that you can pay to do it for you? That is my go to move whenever I have to pull weeds. If there are no kids around a goat would eat them and love it.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9AZLchIIp3Q

    • tehbaddr

      Be thankful you don’t have the Giant Hog-weed! In yur garden that is.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Kevlar gardening gloves and knee pads on Ebay, maybe? Then there is always napalm.

    • OrG

      Roots of rock b roll is on KBOO.

    • Little Doll–MOAMF
    • snark-lurker

      your breaktime is over

      • WomanInThePersistence

        You’re right.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      You know what really hurts despite minimal contact?

      When you are driving your riding lawn tractor, and that lone blackberry branch (are they called branches?) that apparently grew 3 feet in the last couple weeks catches your left arm with a couple of its more resilient thorns as you pass by.

      Damn things.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Been there etc.

      • Al Swearengen

        One time I was hauling ass along a cowpath in the woods on my motocross bike, and I ripped around a corner and the cowpath suddenly tunneled through a giant blackberry bramble.

        Now, a cow is only a bit bigger than a motocross bike, which didn’t leave any room for the human on top of it. I was tangled in it like a spider web.

        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          moar band-aids.

    • Jonny On Maui

      Remember grasshopper, jungle taming is a Zen experience if you’re doing it right. Become one with the thorns. Become one with the universe.

      Explosives work well too… Good luck!

    • mancityRed6

      also, be glad there aren’t any stinging nettles.

    • shoeflyin

      I try to appreciate how prolific nature can be :) And if blackberries would just pick one good spot and stay there, I would love them but no, they have to spread thorns everywhere. About to begin my weekend mowing and jungle taming myself…

  • Moebym Reborn

    Sally Yates is a hero without a cape.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • Lance Thrustwell

      Now that’s a con man who didn’t half-ass it. I admire that level of commitment and imagination.

      • Al Swearengen

        I get the feeling he really clapped hard for Tinkerbell when he was a kid.

    • Persistent Demme

      Yay!
      (What took them so long?)

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    Still half drunk after yesterday. This is what sports is about:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-H7QS1E30x8

    • OrG

      Why are Ajax wearing those horrid kits?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Because our current away shirts are too similar to Schalkes’ home shirts and we weren’t allowed to wear our home kit.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Third kits are almost always shit.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            It is actually our away kit last season and yes we loathed it.

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            *googles ajax kits*
            Hmm I’ve got to say, I quite like the current away kit, the dark one with the xxx’s.

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            Yeah, It really reflects Ajax since the three crosses are the symbol of Amsterdam

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Ah, cool!

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      “Angela Merkel, Friedrich Nietszche, Karl Marx, Albrecht Durer, Nena, Otto von Bismarck.. .your boys took a hell of a beating!” https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/5d25cd234dea85e27a93cd8e533ae2300bfd5d644a6cecd0fd04b64399c45ba4.gif

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Vermeer, van Gogh, Rembrandt, Spinoza, De Ruyter The Golden earring, Johan Cruijff. Guess who is in the Semi finals?

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Welp, they’re not British, that’s for sure ;)

          • Robbertjan Brandenburg

            hahaha. I hope for a United Ajax final but Lyon might be a bridge too far.

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Good luck!

        • Rags
    • mancityRed6

      meanwhile, in the premiership, Man City is behind Liverpool by one point.

    • tehbaddr

      Is that the Sportsball thing where they can only kick the ball?

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Yes, the only real sport.

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Now, now. Let’s not exaggerate: only 95% of the world plays it.

        • mancityRed6

          rugby libels

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Also, too.

        • CindyinEncinitas

          Oh, kiss my ass.

    • jaspersdad

      You forgot to show the diving…..The miraculous recoveries and the magic water.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        To be fair, they only had 3 minutes for the highlights package.

        • jaspersdad

          Don’t get me wrong. I like football, just not that part of it.

  • Al Swearengen
  • Carpe Vagenda

    Oh my. So. Raise your hand if you think letting the Gamergate griefer bros run wild without repercussions is going to end well for the NY office of the FBI.

    https://twitter.com/NYDailyNews/status/855541154477207552

  • An Outhouse for the Resistance

    Comey and Rogers got one letter? Do they live together?

    • Jonny On Maui

      In sin…

  • Chadwells

    Those stupid Ferris Bueller Dominos Pizza ads keep triggering my Amazon Echo!!!

    • tehbaddr

      Well there are two problems here.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Put the Echo into your dad’s Porsche and drive it into the pond.

    • Claire

      I just got a Dot and I love it. I don’t even care if it’s feeding all my conversation to the NSA. What are they going to do, make a list of all the names I call my cats?

  • lowenufc

    Since this is an open thread: chimichurri and a Spanish red for the win. And yay Sally Yates, or not. Drank The Whole bottle already.

    • janecita

      I want!

      • lowenufc

        I’d share, but it’s gone. Though I do have another nine bottles of the red, and more chimichurri. What do you want it on?

        • janecita

          I’m good with the wine, we can have chimichurri next time. I’ll bring tostones and arroz congrí to go with it.

          • lowenufc

            I’m game. Haven’t had good tostones in a long time. Hard to get in Vermont.

        • mancityRed6

          a plate or a bowl would be good.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          I’ll take mine on a steak, medium rare. YUM. I knew Cheetoh Jesus was evil when I heard he wants his steak well done with ketchup. MONSTER!

    • Contemplative Ron

      Chimichurri? Is that what Edwardian chimney sweeps used to eat?

      • lowenufc

        Argentine sauce of parsley, garlic, vinegar and stuff on grilled or roasted meats and veggies.

        • Contemplative Ron

          Mmm, sounds tasty.

          • lowenufc

            Oh it is. And simple. Look it up and try it.

      • maxneanderthal

        Sounds great, but too much of the old Spanish Infuriator induces terrible arse-gout the next day..

    • Claire

      I will see your wine and raise you gin. Have not yet drunk the whole bottle, but the room is a little swimmy anyway.

    • Jamoche

      Did that last night – picked up Cooks Illustrated’s “how to use your cast iron effectively even without gas”. And yes, you can cook a steak on an electric cooktop if you use the oven to preheat it to scorching first.

  • Idiokraticdrumpfenjugend

    BrooklynDad_Defiant!‏ @mmpadellan 17h17 hours ago
    More
    BrooklynDad_Defiant! Retweeted Citizen Kate
    Umm…what?

    Have Ivanka & Jared been illegally elevated to Cabinet level without Senate Confirmation? What the HELL??? #fridayreads https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/25f1dcbde127c6056852fbb081de123b3209b2d0724783e98cab947a6b5f076c.jpg “We don’t need no stinking senate confirmation!”

    • Al Swearengen

      W.T.F. Well, I guess that’s a sign they’re back from their two ski trips this month. Life’s tough for the workin’ man.

      Am I the only one who sees a mental “i” in the middle of Priebus’s initials? For his career after helping what is shaping up to be the worst President in history be the least he can be?

    • dshwa

      If this is real, A)WTF, II)We are now a banana republic, and Tres) Will this finally piss of someone with an (R) into getting off their ass?

      • jesterpunk

        For the second question IOKIYAR. But when it was Michelle having her mother stay at the white house to help with the kids it was just too far.

    • puredog

      Since they’re not occupying any cabinet posts known to man, this may be legit. Hell, you can call ME Secretary, duzn’t mean I iz one.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m going to hope like hell that’s not real. Although, apparently we’re all free to be secretaries now, since no approval is required. Henceforth, I would like to be known as Secretary Cogito. Of what? Who knows. It apparently doesn’t matter for the Trump kids, so why should it matter for me.

    • Rags

      a modest amount of searching does not lead to a credible source for this.

      • CogitoErgoBibo

        I was just doing the same research. Didn’t come up with anything credible.

        • Suttree

          Wasn’t at least one of the “rogue” twitters connected to an alt-right group?

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            No idea. Could be. Wouldn’t surprise me!

    • Claire

      That was posted on @RogueSNRadvisor on Twitter. It’s at least half a parody account. Sometimes I wonder if it’s an actual insider posting accurate stuff in the midst of nonsense so they don’t get caught, but either way, the memos they post are probably nonsense.

      • HazooToo

        These days, it is nearly impossible to tell satire from actual policy.

        • dshwa

          And if you wait long enough, what starts as one inevitably morphs into the other.

    • Shoto

      Jeezuz Xmas Christ.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Thanks everyone. Back in a while!

    • Jonny On Maui

      Rose gloves. They are a thing…

  • tehbaddr

    Just because. It should likely have been posted already, but I just ran across it this AM. Ganked from another daily look/lurk.

    IVANKA’S NOTES FOR THE BABYSITTER

    http://www.newyorker.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/Weiner-Ivanka-Notes-Babysitter-690.jpg

    Hi Sarah,

    First of all, Jared and I can’t tell you how grateful we are that you were available to babysit for us tonight on such short notice. When Alexandra called in sick and recommended you, we knew you’d be super. Jared is very honored to be receiving this year’s Friend of Friends of the Enemies of Israel’s Enemies Award, and would have been devastated if I couldn’t attend the banquet with him.

    There are just a few key things to know:

    My daughter is five, and should go to bed at eight-thirty. She can watch a half hour of TV beforehand, but that’s it. And you have to watch her to make sure that she actually brushes her teeth.

    The three-and-a-half-year-old will go down pretty easily around seven. If he asks for Cheerios be sure to give him the plain kind, and not the apple-cinnamon ones—those are for his grandfather.

    For the youngest, I’ve left a bottle of formula in the fridge, but be sure to warm it up (test it on your wrist before you give it to him). Diapers and wipes are in his room.

    Donald is seventy. His normal bedtime is two or three in the morning, but don’t worry, we’ll definitely be back by then. He can watch Fox News as much as he wants. If he starts yelling at it (smh), just ignore him. The kids are used to it and their rooms are soundproofed.

    But here’s the most important thing: There is to be no tweeting after 9 p.m. When you tell him that, he’ll yell stuff like “People have said that I’m a tremendous tweeter!”; “It’s only eight—all the clocks are fake!”; and “I’m not tweeting, I’m sending a text message to 26.4 million people!” Don’t bother arguing. Just make him hand over his phone. If he whines that “you’re being very unfair,” remind him that if I find out he’s been bad he’ll be sorry.

    Sometimes, while he watches Fox News, he has “really brilliant ideas,” and he thinks he can just command you to execute them. Three weeks ago, he told Alexandra—in a single night—to “order a team of skywriters to write ‘islam sucks’ above Kabul”; to “use eminent domain to have the government take over Hollywood”; to “have the Pentagon require all U.S. servicemen to wear Trump ties and Trump combat boots”; and to “get Eric started on a Trump combat-boot line.” Alex promised she’d look into it in the morning. Of course, by then he’d totally forgotten about everything :-)

    If Donald’s friend Steve calls, tell him to call back tomorrow. If Steve says that it’s urgent and concerns dismantling the administrative state, preempting the deep state, or hollowing out the State Department, tell him to call their friend Reince.

    Kind of important: make sure that Donald reads the thirty-two-page brief “Ecosystem Breakdown and Habitat Collapse Due to Saline Incursion in Southeastern Everglades” (or at least the important parts, which I’ve highlighted) and the Fed’s “Thirty-Year Projection of M-1 Growth.” If he says he’s already read them—which he will, but he hasn’t—tell him that if he skims them one more time he can play Legend of Zelda for an extra hour and have a Nutty Buddy. They’re in the freezer. but just one.

    We should be back around one or one-thirty. If Donald says that he wants to go out and “have some laughs,” remind him that he has a busy day tomorrow: meeting with the Ethiopian Ambassador, trying to fire the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration, and pitching “Live from the Oval Office” to ABC.

    Thanks a ton, Sarah! If you get hungry, help yourself to anything you want to (but, whatever you do, don’t let him see you eating his Nutty Buddies).

    XOXO,
    Ivanka

    http://www.newyorker.com/humor/daily-sh … babysitter

    • Contemplative Ron

      Oh, that was marvelous.

      • tehbaddr

        Ya know, The Gray Old Lady still has it, in-spite of some issues like MoDo.

        • puredog

          Tomato, tomahto, New York Times, New Yorker, tides go in, tides go out, who can understand it?

          • tehbaddr

            Heh, you’re right.I didn’t pay close attention. Being a former NYer I used to get both on a regular basis. Still have a bunch of the snooty tote bags!

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I don’t have any tote bags!11!

          • Jamoche

            I got a tote bag! Other than wonkette, they’re the only one that gets moneys instead of private browser windows and cookie-clearing.

          • tehbaddr

            Never had a subscription then I guess. Mebe I can send you one of my many.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I have had a subscription for about 20 years. The thing is that, it has always been a birthday present from my father. So I don’t get any tote bags. :) Best birthday present evar! I actually had him change it to the NYRB last year because I was sick of election coverage that I was getting everywhere else.

          • tehbaddr

            Your Dad has been coveting the tote bags! You know the way old folks are. Wait, am I a old folk now?

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Haha!

        • Suttree

          The Gray Old Lady? The New Yorker has nothing to do with them!

          • tehbaddr

            See below.

    • jesterpunk
      • tehbaddr

        Thanks!

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      If Eric and Don Jr drop by, bring out the Etch-A-Sketch and enjoy watching them fight over it like I do.
      – I

    • janecita

      I’d be funny, if I didn’t think that Ivanka and Co are as stupid as Trump.

      • tehbaddr

        Frightening thought!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      “If complicit means ushering in a new era of brutal authoritarianism and crushing democracy, then I’m complicit.”

    • mancityRed6

      no way they’re going anywhere on a Friday night.

      • tehbaddr

        Why would that be? Is there “Must Watch TV” still going on?

        • mancityRed6

          I’m figuring it’s nudie night and they’re using the sabbath as an excuse.

          • tehbaddr

            Does Grandpa get invited? (Shudders!).

          • mancityRed6

            well, I was hungry…

          • jesterpunk

            President Jared wants some time with Ivanka but Donald keeps kicking him out of bed.

      • Riley Whodat Venable

        They won’t even be watching TV.

    • Suttree

      I’d take that job. For 10k an hour. Seriously, I used to babysit the kid who eventually wound up burning down the house (after I had moved away). Also his younger autistic brother and a 7 month old.

      • tehbaddr

        I saw no mention of 10K an hour, otherwise I’d be calling Princes Ivanka ad nauseam to take that gig!

    • A_Changeling

      I didn’t realize Ivanka’s had a boob job, now I can’t stop noticing how out of proportion they are compared to the rest of her body.
      (I don’t usually pay attention to boobs, not my cup of – um, boob?)

    • Shoto

      I posted this clip yesterday, but it bears repeating. So. Fucking. Corrupt.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n75G1C8Nzc

  • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

    Good evening wonkers. Just thought I’d update you after my father took that fall a few days ago. Nothing wrong with his brain and he is feeling fine aside from a bruise on his face, and thanks to all who sent me good vibes the other night.

    • jesterpunk

      Glad he is ok.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Good news!

    • Persistent Demme

      Great news!

    • Huzzah!

    • janecita

      I’m so glad!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Great news! :D

    • Riley Whodat Venable

      XLNT! Glad he is OK. He can have beer now that he is medically cleared.

  • 3FingerPete

    I hope Yates testifies to about something substantial that will finally get investigations rolling. If there was ever a president in need of intense scrutiny it is President Florida Man.

    • Roadstergal

      Is ‘intense scrutiny’ the name of a hefty enema, or of a cherished cell at Guantanamo? Either way, I’m in.

    • Notreelyhelping

      Wait. Florida man? And part of his family comes from Germany?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Germany a while back. But Florida right now. And by choice.

  • Finnabar87

    Atlanta isn’t all blowing sportsball games and collapsing highways; Sally Yates also hails from the ATL, and Jon Ossoff.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Are you going to be in teh Science March tomorrow at Candler Park?

  • Shoto
  • jaspersdad

    • Any Wonkers coming to the TO march?

      • Contemplative Ron

        I wish. I’m having to keep an extra eye on the housemate because she’s been showing a few signs of pneumonia. Pneumonia is a killer when you have late-stage COPD. But I’ll be with y’all in spirit.

      • jaspersdad

        Closest one to me is Vancouver.

      • mancityRed6

        If I was, you’d be the first to hear about it.

        • I would tell you to come, but the only traffic offramp from the 401 into the downtown is closed this weekend, so i expect many angry peoples

    • Contemplative Ron

      We love science Up Here. The National research Council is responsible for the invention of the hockey mask, and has increased maple syrup production across the board by more than 20% since 1955!

    • Shoto

      “The death of evidence.” I like that sign.

      • jaspersdad

        I expect the signs to be exceptional tomorrow.

        • Shoto

          ♫ Blame Canada… ♫

    • Shoto

      I’m not a member of FaceBorg, and the March for Science website refers inquiries as to location directly to FaceBorg. Accordingly, I have no idea where the march is around this neck of the woods.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      I’ll be in the San Diego one.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    ilu, DC man.

    In which suburban douchebags anarchistsplain to a local why in light of his race he should be grateful that they’re making the effort to start a riot in his neighborhood. It does not go well for them.

    https://twitter.com/Freeyourmindkid/status/855544020868747265/video/1

    • Pinkham’s Law

      I’m right proud of him for standing up for himself and his neighbors.

      • Carpe Vagenda

        Seriously. No posturing, no bullshit, just you head back to the suburbs and start shit there if you feel like shit must be started. And faced them off by sheer force of will.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Retweeted. That is some messed up shit, right there.

  • janecita

    I need to buy a new mattress. Any recommendations?

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Have you tried turning it off and then on again first?

      • janecita

        Yeah, but it still doesn’t work!

        • HazooToo

          Are you still under warranty? Check the EULA.

          • janecita

            I’ve moved so many times, to so many different cities, that I can’t even remember where we bought it.

          • HazooToo

            Okay seriously tho, I got mine at Sleepys, and it was a pillow-top, and it’s incredibly comfy. I recommend pillow-top.

    • mancityRed6

      I did Ikea and I’m happy with it. But I did spend the night on the futon again (under the ceiling fan where it was cool) and would not recommend it even though I slept on it for 3 months straight.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        IKEA is a good call. Also a memory foam topper, for extra comfort (also can extend the life of an old but not yet ancient/squeaky mattress)

    • mancityRed6
    • Shoto

      Buy one that is specifically designed to allow you to jump on it like a trampoline. But be careful that it’s not so springy that you bonk your head on the ceiling when you’re jumping.

      Wait, wut?

    • mancityRed6

      have you torn the tags off yet?

      • janecita

        A long time ago.

        • mancityRed6

          you rebel, you

          • janecita

            That’s me!

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          We’re a nation of laws. Paging Jefferson Sessions.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            If you see something, say something.

    • Rasilom

      Costco usually has goos ones at a decent price. Just check what they have then look up the reviews. Bonus points, if you decide you hate it they will give you a full refund for atleast 90 days. No questions asked just a polite smile and a heres your money.

    • Contemplative Ron

      Yes. Don’t say ‘mattress’ to Mr Lambert because he’ll put a bucket over his head. Otherwise he’s perfectly all right.

    • mancityRed6

      I did this, since I could get it home in the Mazda2.
      http://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/00272208/#/10272203

    • Jonny On Maui

      Test drive a few before deciding…

    • CindyinEncinitas

      Go to an apartment complex that caters to the military and it’s like a furniture store by the dumpsters about every weekend. You can get brand new stuff for free. I got my bed there. All I had to do was drag it into my apartment! Boom!

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      My bed is a Southerland Churchhill, and it’s the best bed ever. When I told my friends I was moving to Hawaii, the first thing out of their mouths was, “Can I have your bed?” Bastards. Anyway, I don’t know if Southerland still makes that model, but I would recommend them to anyone. They are a bit pricey, but last a long time, and you will sleep like Hillary Clinton won the election. I shipped that bed 5,000 miles!

  • Serai 1

    Screaming about your rights as an American while rocking the Confederate flag is like arguing against gay marriage with a dick in your mouth. — Trae Crowder

    Now that there’s poetry.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEa30y-uHSE

    • MynameisBlarney

      That guy is a national fucking treasure.

    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      See? This is a good kind of redneck.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        On the Chaffetz thread, there was a good conversation about “redneck” versus “white trash”. With Kid Rock, Sarah Palin and Ted Nugent, along with Trump himself, being cast as “white trash”. I can deal with redneck. White trash, on the other hand.

        • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

          Personally, I think redneck just means a rural (usually) white person who goes hunting or fishing or something. I don’t think it necessarily means someone has to be politically right wing, racist, sexist or anything like that. Frankly I don’t even see why it has to be an American thing.

          I used to joke with people about my family really being “rednecks” because they grew up on a south Italian farm.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      It’s pronounced “poultry.”

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        “po-tree”, if you will.

      • Serai 1

        But that’s I said – “poe-tree”. Cain’t you READ?

    • Shoto

      Crowder does a podcast.

      http://wellredpodcast.libsyn.com/

    • Jamoche

      “Jane Goodall of rednecks”.

      I am totally cracking up.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      His show is on the road, BTW. I’m catching he and his redneck cohorts in a club in Richmond, VA next month. I need a good laugh. Can’t wait! Okay, I can because I have to.

  • Claire

    Things I am thinking about tonight include: how easy it’s become to target age groups based on technology.

    Example: hate radio and Fox News. I keep hearing stories about how someone’s dad turned into a nasty, hateful asshole because he started listening to talk radio. But I have a 2013 Honda and I have literally never listened to the radio in it, except for a second or two by accident. I listen to CDs or stream things from my phone; listening to the radio was something I did back in the 80s and 90s, when there wasn’t an alternative. I don’t have a land line. I cut the cable cord ten years ago and I don’t watch broadcast TV at all. I read Le Monde, the NYT, WaPo, the New Yorker, and Al Jazeera online; I genuinely don’t know if my city even has a local paper, though I assume it does.

    It’s easy for me to give the side-eye to old people who only get their news from Fox and listen to Rush Limbaugh, but when technology changes and I get old, will I still be using an obsolete communication technology? Who’s going to take advantage of that?

    • h4rr4r

      Just keep up to date. Not all olds stop learning.

    • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

      I don’t think so. The internet was the big change. Cable TV was a big change, but not like this. You are prepped and ready for whatever is to come. Except for the implants.

      • h4rr4r

        Yeah if anything the internets are simpler these days. What with working search engines and the death of RSS and the like.

      • Claire

        I’m all for the implants. And self-driving cars, I honestly cannot wait for those. You’re right that the internet was the big change, but I would argue that it was a big change in that it made traditional media obsolete in the eyes of the people who had access to it. The people still dependent on traditional media are the ones who either don’t have a choice or are clinging to the era that traditional media represents.

        • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

          A very good point. That’s why we need to keep the screws to the main networks and dead papers!

          • Claire

            Absolutely. We won’t convince anyone of anything if we abandon all the channels through which they receive information.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Don’t want a self driving car ever. But I have access to bus and train.
          I just survived a high impact accident last week. Airbags deployed and chest still hurts. I just can’t imagine self driving cars on city streets or Atlanta’s highways.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      I’m listening to records and givING the kids on my lawn side-eye right now!

    • One of the other things to remember is that what you – and a lot of others – tend to take for granted when it comes to technology, isn’t for a large area of the country. For example, in my area cell phones are a “sometime” thing, and our internet lines are not broadband. In fact, we really can’t get broadcast television, and the only reliable radio station is NPR. The cable provider here does not offer internet service, and a very limited slate of channels – and yes, the principal news channel is Fox with CNN a close second.

      So most of what is available tends to be limited, and yes, leans strongly right wing. Add in that these areas tend toward an older population, and you have the phenomenon you describe.

      • h4rr4r

        Why would anyone chose to live there?

        Not kidding, I only considered homes that could get FIOS. Give me symmetrical service or GTFO.

        I would literally lose my job if I lived wherever you do.

        • Because that’s my job.

          • h4rr4r

            To live in the boonies?
            I would be commuting.

          • How nice for you, that you get to make that decision. For me to live near or in a city would mean a 65 mile one-way commute. BTW, here’s my workplace:
            http://i848.photobucket.com/albums/ab49/norbrookc/Personal/ADK%202016/IMG_20161005_112014_zpsgjcew3zd.jpg
            The nearest human being is a mile away, and the nearest house is 3 miles. The nearest small village is 7 miles.

          • h4rr4r

            You are required by law to live that far out?

            Different strokes for different folks, but they are all decisions we make. Neither of us is unable to make the other decision.

            What do you do?

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Some people also choose to live out there. It may blow your mind. But it is awesome living in nature! Yes you have to forgo some things. Are you a teenager?

          • h4rr4r

            Not for a long time, long time.

            I rather visit nature.

          • I’m one of the people who make sure that your visit there is going to end up with your leaving safely. Or find you if you get lost. This past summer I had three water rescues.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Thank you Norbrook!

          • h4rr4r

            Neat, I am willing to go out on a limb saying you likely won’t be saving me. Backwoods camping in Alaska did not get me. That was with maps and compass, when we wore onions on our belts GPS was the size of a backpack and no way could we afford it.

          • You’d be surprised how many people say that, and end up getting rescued. One of my rescues was people who were very experienced canoeists who caught a bad wave on a windy day. I’ve also had to arrange transport out for broken bones, hypothermia, severe allergic reactions, and get a couple of lost kids back to where they needed to be. Nature is not your friend, nature wants to kill you, and if you get cocky, nature will demonstrate that.

          • h4rr4r

            This is one of those reasons I choose not to live in it.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            I grew up in an exburb of Atlanta. You had to drive 10 minutes to the closest McDonald’s and it was 30 minutes to the nearest mall and that was a small one. I’ve lived either in Atlanta or close to Atlanta since. I’m right over the line now, 8 miles from the center.

          • h4rr4r

            Sir, you win. That is the worst of all possible options. Sprawl is worse than anything else.

          • I work as an environmental biologist. Some of us actually like the outdoors, and you might want to consider who is out there running the national and state parks, and protecting the wildlife. In case you’re wondering, I spent 12 years of my life living and working in a major city.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I’ve lived in both. Maybe not on a lake that beautiful though! I do miss Vermont. I don’t miss being single for that long though. I have a hard time mixing with people. So I need a million people thrown at me to find the one or two or three, that I can connect with. I’m getting better with age though. I am envious of your view!

          • h4rr4r

            I love the outdoors. I hike, I camp, I hunt and fish. However I like to live in civilization.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Some people just cannot comprehend. My father was leaving for Russia for six months and had a renter for his house. The guy backed out when he got there and found out that there wasn’t a high speed connection. Circa 2008ish

          • mancityRed6

            I got my first cell phone (a Nokia) in 2002. I got broadband in ’03. This isn’t anything that these people are used to, you have to remember that.

        • mancityRed6

          a friend of mine is in the boonies with satellite internet service that is shitty at best. they get better cell coverage than satellite.

        • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

          There are still places that until recently only had dial-up. My father only got a decent connection at his place in VT a few years ago. No cable TV either. This was within the past decade.

          • h4rr4r

            I get that they exist, I just could not do it.

            My parents live in the middle of nowhere, I spent my highschool years there. Never again.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            To each there own. My apologies for the teenager comment below.

          • h4rr4r

            It’s the internet, your supposed to be a bit of an asshole.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Not here. I try not to shit on the floor of my own home. Spilled drinks are fine though!

          • h4rr4r

            I was just being a smartass.

            I pay money for this abuse!

          • We didn’t get DSL service here until 2006. They’re supposed to be installing a broadband line into the area late next year, assuming the state doesn’t pull all the funding.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I don’t even know what I have now. The little thingy in the left corner says 104 Mpbs. It’s a package deal with the cable and and phone. I just know that I don’t need a book or magazine next to me while I work on the computer and I can dl 700k movies in 5 min.

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        When I lived in Vermont I had 3 NPR stations. Depending on which side of what mountain I was on, I had a choice to tune into 2 VT or 1 NH station. It wasn’t blowing republicans back then though. :(

      • Claire

        I thought about saying something about that but figured I’d gone on long enough already. You’re completely right, there are large areas that just don’t have access to the same tech that people in the cities do – but I don’t know what the solution is. Tech is expensive. Communication lines are expensive. The combination of sparse population and resistance to tax increases limit the ability of rural areas to participate fully in 21st-century society and make them vulnerable to propaganda by demagogues who pitch their message to the era in which rural technology lives.

        • As I’ve pointed out to people over the years, it takes government spending to put those things out there, because private industry won’t do it. The reason most of these areas have electricity to begin with is because of the New Deal’s rural electrification program. It’s not cost effective to run lines (which are expensive) for miles with very few customers per mile. For example, my field station is off the grid. We operate with a solar system and generator back up. In order to extend the electric lines to where we are would cost a million dollars, and we’d be the only customer. In an urban area, a mile of fiberoptic line might have several hundred to several thousand customers on it. In rural areas, you might have a dozen. One of the things I run into routinely up here is tourists who assume cell phones work everywhere. Besides the spotty coverage, even what’s available often depends on who your provider is. In my town, Verizon is the provider. In the next town over, it’s AT&T. If you’re on the wrong one, you’re out of luck.

    • mancityRed6

      I only have about 10 minutes drive before I’m at work. I still listen to shitty call in and obviously biased news shows at 5 AM. When I’m in my car other times, the CD player still comes into play since I don’t really have an MP3 thing. My current CD is this:
      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9cKcwwEZ9Kw
      technically, the double album with “in god we trust”.

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        I now have a soundtrack to chop up veggies and cook!

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Good one. This is one of my favorite drivetime CDs.
        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wKIvYmlOS_o

        • mancityRed6

          I have a Pandora station totally dedicated to them.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            It was coin flip whether to post that one or Dub Side of the Moon, to be honest.

          • mancityRed6

            I’m good with both.

          • mancityRed6
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I’m 55 and I’ve evolved. I still take the Sunday paper, but the rest of the week, I get my news online. I still listen to the radio in the car but only there. I only have a cellphone and I cut the cord in cable in 2011. To put any other fears to rest, my mom is 79 and she has a smartphone, listens to CDs in the car, can use a GPS with ease and texts with the grandkids.

      I think a lot of it is by choice. My dad is almost 80 and used to watch Fox News and Rush Limbaugh until they started pissing him off around 2011. My dad even voted for Obama in 2012. What woke him up? We may never know. I think it was his friends, other retired black physicians had left the GOP prior, in 2008.

      • Claire

        My dad is 78 and knows more about computers than I do, so I think that’s a good point. You will pry my dad’s iPhone out of his cold dead hands. I’m almost 50, myself, and life before GPS seems like a distant and vaguely unpleasant dream. But I’ve still never used Periscope or Snapchat, and my attitude toward Reddit is best summed up by energetic cane shaking.

        But it may really be an issue of opportunity. He gets all his information from the internet because he’s affluent and he can – new tech represents new toys to him, not a societal shift away from his comfort zone, or out of his ability to make sense of what’s going on around him. As much as I’d like to think our post-Republican dads are the norm, I think a lot of people their age just don’t have a lot of access to broadband information, both through infrastructure and by choice. So if you want to get the elderly men pissed off about Soshulism and the Kenyan Muslim in the White House, the way to channel that communication is through older media.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          With my dad, I think he would have stayed in the bubble for longer if he were white and/or if his friends hadn’t brought him out of it. I think he was one of the last holdouts. What I don’t understand about the GOP is, what is their end game? Feudalism? Because once you have lost your base either through attrition or from pissing them off, what do you have left?

          • Claire

            I definitely think it’s feudalism. I just think they don’t really understand that their social and cultural values aren’t carved in stone. immutable and eternal and espoused by everyone under all circumstances. I think conservatives really believe that everyone but deviants shares the same values, across time and culture. And if that’s true, then there will always be a large contingent espousing the True Values.

            That or they figure they’ll be filthy rich and retired by the time their base dies off, one of the two.

  • IOnlyLikeCats

    During work today, I found out where the expression “drinking the Kool-Aid” comes from and now I’m horrified.

    • Claire

      It’s all the more horrifying because we haven’t learned from it, in my opinion.

    • Major_Major_Major

      I worked with a guy named Jim Jones. He would introduce himself as “Hi, I’m Jim Jones, like the Reverend”

      • Serai 1

        LOL, that is some evil shit.

        • IOnlyLikeCats

          It’s worse because there is a famous rapper named Jim Jones.

        • puredog

          I have an unusual name that is hard to spell, especially over the phone, so I often make restaurant reservations in the name of “Charles Manson.” Not once has anyone ever asked me if I was related. (ETA: Nor, perhaps surprisingly, have I ever shown up to find I had no reservation because they assumed I was a crank caller.)

          • LucindathePook

            I had a good friend who had an x-shaped scar in the middle of his forehead. It was from a car accident, but people would ask if he was in the family.

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        Was he a nice guy, or an asshole?

        • Major_Major_Major

          Super nice guy, which made it even funnier.

    • Serai 1

      It was actually Flavr-Aid, a cheap knockoff of Kool-Aid. So on top of everything else, they’ve taken the knocks for something their product had no part in.

      • h4rr4r

        Beat me to it. Stupid Disqus.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Jim Jones?

    • Serai 1

      If you ever get the chance, watch the film that was made of the incident, that starts Powers Boothe. Jesus, that guy is seriously spooky in the role.

      • MynameisBlarney

        We watched that in History Class.
        Nightmare fodder for weeks.

      • fredoandme

        at the time it happened, i worked in the medical field. pathology.

        i saw the pictures.

        it was bad enough when the nbc nightly news aired the audio tape, we couldn’t hit the off knob fast enough.

        but the pictures….

    • h4rr4r

      Even more horrifying is that Jones town actually used Flavor Aid!

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Cheap-ass!

        • h4rr4r

          Yeah, if there was one time to spring​ for the good stuff that was it.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Can’t take it with you, right? Apologies to the Heaven’s Gate folks and their Nikes and $5 bills.

          • Thiazin Red

            A friend of mine in high school bought a pair of those Nikes right before it happened. He got no end of shit about it.

          • jowgajen

            Holy cow, that internet search leads you very quickly into madness.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            Ih yeah. Happened a couple of miles from me.

      • Isaac Heston

        Hunter S. Thompson had a line about them missing a good marketing opportunity.

    • theCryptofishist

      I used to try and say that, but just like with “Beating a Dead Horse” I got no traction.

      • jaspersdad

        I prefer flogging an expired equine.

    • Thiazin Red

      The fact that “the dingo ate your baby” gets used as a joke horrifies me. That woman was convicted of murdering her kid, who really did get carried off, killed and eaten by wild dogs.

    • ltmcdies

      Ok I feel old now. I remember when “drinking the kool aid” was drinking a glass of sugar and food colouring.

    • C4TWOMAN

      You’ll be more horrified to find out everyone who refused to drink were forced to.
      “Don’t drink the Kool-Aid.” Which is supposed to mean, “Don’t fall for
      crazy leaders that make you do insane things.” But it wasn’t even
      Kool-Aid! A lot of the victims were held down and forcibly injected with
      it, which is murder.
      https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/how-jim-jones-went-from-civil-rights-leader-to-cult-murderer
      Um, sorry.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    Excuse me, but I read that to mean that May 2nd will be a closed hearing and that an open hearing will be scheduled at a date after that, not on the same day?

  • theCryptofishist
    • MynameisBlarney

      Good lard, nazi’s are fucking stupid as hell.

      • vivian

        When the only thing you’ve got left is the color of your skin, it’s pretty much axiomatic that you’ve failed at everything else.

      • Serai 1

        By definition, I’d say.

        • MynameisBlarney

          *raises pint glass*
          Aye.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      How come Wonkette doesn’t get trolls that stupid/funny?

      • MynameisBlarney

        TLM?

        • dshwa

          His schtick gets so rigid sometimes.

          • Serai 1

            When his jokes don’t come off flaccid, that is.

      • theCryptofishist

        I think that that’s a rare troll at any website.
        Although, apparently he’s been there before.
        I usually feel pretty confident in assigning trolls a male gender. I”m such a fascist.

    • jesterpunk

      What is wrong with Shakira law? Those hips dont lie.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUT5rEU6pqM

    • Mary Sandoras

      I’ve been thinking of changing my screen name, he has some awesome possibilities.
      she-tornado
      syphilitic devil-llama
      I’m also thinking of Mary Thunderpants.

  • Marceline

    It’s time for my Friday Obama post. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhWDFgRfi1Q

  • Serai 1
    • BadKitty904

      The Tower of Amon Sûl?

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        That Mordor wedding package deal they offer never works out like they advertise.

        • BadKitty904

          “The Union of the Two Towers,” as it were…

          • Serai 1

            The room service sucks, though.

      • Serai 1

        In better days, meleth.

    • mancityRed6

      my first marriage happened at the registry office across the street from this castle
      http://www.castlewales.com/conwy01.jpg

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    It was another badass lady attorney, Lisa Bloom, who cracked wide open the whole Fox News sex harassment thing. She’s Gloria Allred’s (yet *another* badass lady attorney) daughter, btw. The world shall be saved by badass lady attorneys.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Hope RBG has 4 more years in her to work on her chops too.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • hendenburg2

    So Bernie has been off campaigning for an anti-choice Democrat. And has been ignoring Jon Ossoff.

    And after receiving lots of well-deserved flack from PP and NARAL, had the gall to tell the Democrats what the party needs to do.

    http://theslot.jezebel.com/bernie-sanders-defends-his-decision-to-campaign-for-an-1794536295

  • BadKitty904

    It’s been a long week, so we are staying home tonight and eating rock shrimp and watching The Philadelphia Story. So there.

    • Thiazin Red

      Cary Grant is ridiculously handsome and charming.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      I’m staying home and eating paste…no shrimp.

    • CogitoErgoBibo

      I’m spending my evening presently at a race track in Alabama. Your evening is much more refined.

      • BadKitty904

        Yours sounds much more “colorful”.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          You have no idea.

          • BadKitty904

            I have kin in Mobile. I have an inkling.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            LOL It’s actually for IndyCar, so it’s sort of the upper scale of what you’d imagine…but still what you’d imagine

          • BadKitty904

            I’ve spent more time in Alabama than I’ll usually admit, so I can imagine.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            My parents moved here from New Orleans after Katrina. I’m still angry even though I haven’t lived with them in over 30 years. They’re supposed to always keep a nice house in a cool place for me to come be a slacker if I want! It’s the parental code.

          • BadKitty904

            At least half the time I’ve spent in Alabama has been en route either to or from New Orleans, so I absolutely agree.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            IndyCar tried racing in New Orleans a couple of years back. Of course the grounds they chose were a swamp and it rained. It didn’t end well.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            My son used to race road courses! They were often quite beautiful. Of course, the hotels nearby tended to be of the anti-great variety – but race weekends are fun. Miss those days sometimes.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            It’s right by Birmingham, AL so at least there are lots of options for hotels. And BBQ. 7,345 options for BBQ.

          • Good_Gawd_Yall

            Obviously you have yet to experience the glory that is middle America road racing. Days Inns that smelled like curry and featured loud arguments in the parking lots at 2 a.m. Restaurants with laminated menus with the old prices whited-out and higher prices written in with a Bic. Tracks so far out in the sticks you have to bring a lawnmower to mow your pit space. Deer, wild turkeys, and possums ambling across the track on the backside. On the upside, getting all the racers and their crews together for a night out after a good day was about as great as it gets fully dressed.

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            That really does sound like fun! And you’re communing with nature. Or, actually, it sounds more like it’s communing with you. But it does sound like fun.

          • hendenburg2

            I really don’t want to know what an “Alabama racetrack” is slang for

          • CogitoErgoBibo

            No slang. The real deal. It’s actually sort of pretty. Lots of sculptures on the grounds, flowering plants. It’s a road course. But it’s still racing in Alabama.

          • hendenburg2

            Yep. Just trying to funny. But for the record, I was thinking of horse racing until you mentioned IndyCars

          • Thiazin Red

            Me too until I saw street course. It took me a second of thinking “horses can’t race on the street” to realize she meant cars.

    • Treg Brown

      It’s wrong that I identify with Miss Imbrie, right?

      • BadKitty904

        Not one bit – she adorable, sensible, and very witty.

    • Mary Sandoras

      Well I’m just going sample this new bottle of Merlot I bought, repeatedly, so there!

      • BadKitty904

        At least use a straw.

      • hendenburg2

        And I have a bottle of mezcal. I have been informed that it tastes like someone combined the best aspects of scotch and tequila.

        This will have to be subject to experimentation and the results will have to be statistically rigorous.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    OK, Somehow my Baby Girl got stuffs handled, and she’s at her doc for HRT as I type. :D

    I’ll know more when she gets home. :)

    • jesterpunk

      Glad she has things worked out, hope you both stay safe and dont have any more problems.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you sincerely. :) It seems like Baby has gotten tougher, I’m so proud I could burst.

    • A_Changeling

      I hope you’ll get there too asap.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Thank you. Me too. :)

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Yay BG! Have a round of happiness, love and health on me!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        ~hugs~ Thank you!

  • Thiazin Red

    I was thinking today, while impeaching now would be nice, if we wait two years, and take back Congress, we’ve got another shot at having a Democratic woman president.

    • jesterpunk

      What would be great would be in 2018 is if democrats did this.

      1 Win back control of the house.

      2 Impeach Trump and Pence

      3 Nominate Hillary as speaker

      4 Hillary is president and appoint Tim Kaine as VP

      5 Laugh at Trump when he is thrown in jail.

      There is no actual rule saying the speaker has to be in congress just that they have to vote on the speaker.

    • HazooToo

      That sounds great, but it still means we have to wait two years, and this President is doing a LOT MORE DAMAGE in a lot shorter time than Nixon. Also we have Nazis now. Two years is kinda scary.

  • A_Changeling

    Does anyone else think the Bill O’Reilly case might bring more Trump accusers out of the woodwork? Someone who’s felt it’ll make no difference could be encouraged by that. Lisa Bloom should really say she’ll represent them too, that might help.

    • jesterpunk

      Wait I though Lisa’s mom was representing them?

      • A_Changeling

        Yeah, Lisa is representing BillO’s accusers and has said she’ll represent any that contact her for free. I could have been clearer.

        • jesterpunk

          Oh sorry i thought you meant Lisa is representing Trump’s accusers. But if there are many more they may wind up owning Fox news.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • alwayspunkindrublic

      Less red meat might be a real good place for this dickhead to start.

      • ariel_gee_398

        Or more. And less Lipitor.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Alex Jones: The other white supremacist meat.

      • Shoto

        A full-frontal lobotomy would probably be a better place for him to start.

    • jaspersdad

      That sweet Soros pot.

      • Mary Sandoras

        I want in.

    • Shoto

      Comedy you can believe in.

    • Treg Brown
      • Anna Elizabeth

        With Mr. Alex Jones being such an exemplar of masculine virtue, beauty, charm, and wit as he is, his criticism is just so very cutting.

      • Serai 1

        It would certainly explain his hate stiffy.

        • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

          I don’t want to know how you know about that.

          • Serai 1

            I don’t think there’s any special knowledge required. You only have to listen to him on the subject.

      • Claire

        Sad! “You must be a man” is the time-honored ineffective retort by wimpy men trying desperately to salvage some vestige of manhood. No one is fooled, dude.

    • mancityRed6

      the quote on the tweet just doesn’t sound right…
      he didn’t say “my” kids

    • Count Awesome

      I am going to lay off of chili for a while. It seems to angry up the blood.

      • I’m wondering what is in that chili he’s eating, that it causes amnesia. (grabs Physicians Desk Refence..)

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Poor Alex. Don’t we all just want that? Except for the being with the kids part, natch. Oh, and paying child support after the wife’s chloroform enema wears off I’d totally unfair. Greedy broads, I tells ya!

  • Count Awesome

    Trump and his administration will all claim memory loss/early onset dementia about Russia from all the diet drinks that were consumed during the campaign.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Been riding bicycles since forever. Just got my first citation for rolling thru a stop sign. Thanks Jefferson Sessions.

    • Jennifer R

      Well you are supposed to stop for them in pretty much every state.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        If by stop you mean slow down when approaching them as if intending to cease forward motion, then gunning it when nothing is coming, and no cops are around, then that’s true!

        • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

          Inertia is a harsh mistress.

          • Jonny On Maui

            And momentum is a bitch.

        • AJ Milne

          I ride a somewhat heavy recumbent. I’ve (looks around nervously) been known to do this, well away from traffic, with clear views to be damned sure there’s no one around. I appreciate a) not dying, and b) not giving the guy who flattens me PTSD, but spinning that thing up to speed is honestly kinda an investment.

      • Thiazin Red

        I live in Manhattan and bikers refusing to stop at lights are a menace.

    • mancityRed6

      upfist, but still, in a car I have to stop.
      but no judgement from me.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      GATEWAY MISDEMEANOR!
      One day, you’re not coming to a complete stop on a bicycle, the next you’re illegally importing mexicans on the back.

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        It’s a gateway crime.

      • zerosumgame0005

        next you are suing the poor driver who hit his ass when the biker acted like a moron and didn’t STOP at a stop sign!

    • Thiazin Red

      Stop at stop lights and signs, bikes are required to.

    • h4rr4r

      Good!

      I nearly killed a guy on a bike a couple days ago. I had a green and he just rolled right through the red, I slammed the brakes and narrowly missed him, for my trouble he gave me the finger. This was not me speeding, or racing off the line, I came up to a green light at 30mph in a 30mph and this nutcase just rolled right out without looking.

    • Moebym Reborn

      That happened to me at college eons ago. Some poor girl who was riding a scooter or a bike was pulled over at the same time for the same reason. That officer must’ve been trying to meet his quota…

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      You shouldn’t have been riding while black/brown.

  • Riley Whodat Venable

    I can hardly wait. Please Becca, give someone an extra day off so they can live blog the hearing.
    I get the feeling that Trump stopped the Rexxon deal because he had to tell Putin “Just wait Honey. Wait till the heat is off. Why don’t you go pick out a nice fur coat on me.”

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Doesn’t he typically offer to take his infatuations furniture shopping? He knows the best shops, like “Tim’s Gold Plated Monstrosity Warehouse,” and “You Just Won the Lottery, Now What Emptorium.”

  • A_Changeling

    I mentioned this downthread but has everyone else known all along that Ivanka has had a boob job? I realized that one day and now I can’t stop seeing it. I guess plastic surgery is as requisite as gold in Trump world, but it’s a little disturbing to wonder how much it was because her dad expected it.

    • mancityRed6

      her dad paid for it
      and ewwww

    • Look at pictures of her from her teens, and now, and she’s a lot more “buxom” than she was. Add in that for a woman who has had a couple of kids and no “drooping,” and yeah, they’re enhanced.

    • h4rr4r

      The nose is the worst.
      I don’t understand this desire to make young ladies look worse. If she likes it more power to her.

      • A_Changeling

        The big boobage just doesn’t seem like a Manhattan socialite thing. Plastic surgery, sure, but more subtle. She seems to try to escape the tackiness but can’t quite shake it off.

        • jesterpunk

          This quote from the article pretty much sums up the whole family.

          “He’s a poor person’s idea of a rich person. They see him. They think, ‘If I were rich, I’d have a fabulous tie like that. Why are my ties not made of 400 acres of polyester?’ All that stuff he shows you in his house—the gold faucets—if you won the lottery, that’s what you’d buy.”

          http://www.vanityfair.com/news/2016/10/fran-lebowitz-trump-clinton-election

          • Claire

            That’s pretty much the explanation for the entire course of Trump’s life. People who don’t come from old money and get rich buy all this garish nonsense and then don’t understand why the old money turns up their noses.

            I feel like Ivanka wants to be America’s Princess Kate, but being Princess Kate is a fucking complicated skill set, and you basically have to be to the manner born. A nose job isn’t going to cut it.

        • Carpe Vagenda

          They were probably less effulgent before she had three babies.

          • A_Changeling

            Learned a new word today!

          • Carpe Vagenda

            I was being vaguely Buffyish? But I like words. There’s almost one that means specifically what I want to say.

    • Yr. Gma

      Yep. Boobs and nose. Too bad Eric and Donnie Jr. can’t do that.

      • Bec Jenn

        They’ll need chin/jaw implants too. Unless the rodent/ferret style is in.

    • SnarkON

      OMG how could you not know? She has also had a nose job and has a fuckton of filler in her face. As a PSA, so does Melania.

      • A_Changeling

        I could see it in her face, but I guess I’m just not a boob person. And that didn’t seem… her style.

    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      I HATE HATE HATE that women feel they need to alter their bodies to gain acceptance. For the record: I wish I was younger, thinner and smarter. But I yam what I yam. Fuck ya all if you don’t like it.

  • Michael R

    If this is an open thread , here is part of a movie review …

    ” Isabella Rossellini voices Buffy, the furry spiritual guide to a closeted teen . “

  • mancityRed6

    I’m thinking the rain Anna got this morning has finally made it’s way to Kansas.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/12ad601068a68575499726c266db8fbfefa008c9b0d94499cfc69ce62a521b46.png
    Nothing phallic about it at all.

  • Shoto
  • jaspersdad

    For as much as people bemoan characters like Bill O’Reilly, they always seem to get ahead in the end. This is the true frustration for me. You can live your life and try to be a good person, but the Bills of the world always rise to the top and they treat people like crap while getting there. Fine, they might get fired in the end, but they usually walk away further ahead than the rest of us schmuks, who care about integrity.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I think being able to look myself in the eye as I brush my teeth and apply my makeup outweighs their filthy luchre.

      And, none of this is yet over.

      • Count Awesome

        Filthy Luchre is my porn alias.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        Teeth can be brushed?

      • Claire

        I’m middle-class and I can’t look myself in the eye as I brush my teeth now, because of facial deformities. I’d take some lucre to compensate.

      • A_Changeling

        It probably does make applying eye makeup easier.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I get what you’re saying, but that’s only true if you measure success by material things. If you measure it by the good you’re able to do, the love you have in your life, the fun you have, etc…you have come out ahead of these miserable fuckers every single time.

      • SnarkON

        Honestly, what if we don’t? What if O’Reilly is perfectly happy?

        • Anna Elizabeth

          What if he is? I cannot take pleasure in hurting others, I can’t live with myself if I lie and cheat and steal. If I go to bed hungry, at least I have done no harm. I have my Baby Girl, my beloved friends, and my Self-Respect. BillO weighs nothing against that.

        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          I guess we don’t really have any control over that.

        • A_Changeling

          Well he’s hiding it well.

    • In the end, is he happy? If there’s any humanity in him (no bets) he has some dark nights of the soul.

      • jaspersdad

        He is a soulless bastard alright.

      • Count Awesome

        He’s a vampire that sucks cash rather than blood.

      • Claire

        If he had any humanity in him, he wouldn’t have lived the life he’s led. Therefore, almost by definition, there is no humanity in him and he sleeps like a baby at night.

    • SnarkON

      Yep.

    • Vecchioivan

      Did we used to work together?

    • Claire

      YES, Jesus. This is what basically frustrates me the most out of life. I think I need to make a career out of fleecing the rubes; it seems to pay off handsomely and have almost no down side.

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      Bill O’Reilly can keep his gilded cage, because that’s really the only difference between his life and mine–his cage has more decoration.

      Tomorrow my son comes to see me, so I can teach him how to patch his 6 pairs of torn work pants. We’ll eat fish and broccoli and maybe read aloud from Stephen King’s “The Talisman.” After I divorced his Dad, we were still friends, and cooperated in every way to raise a decent young man.

      Bill’s kids saw him drag their mother down the stairs while beating the shit out of her. Bill’s kids know he is a serial sexual predator who most people in the world think is a total asshole, because he is. Bill’s kids are ashamed to be his children.

      Fuck that guy in his gilded cage. Even if another shady, shitty outfit hires his wrinkled ass, he’s still a LOSER who has children who think he sucks. My kid thinks I’m a freaking Queen, because I think he’s a freaking Prince. In patched work pants. Because that’s how we roll.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        The first time my Baby Girl called me “Mom” instead of “Anna” made me cry tears of joy.

        Even the men that only want me for sex *want* me. I wouldn’t trade BillO anything.

  • Good_Gawd_Yall

    Y’all, I’ve been having the weirdest dream! It’s been one of those multiple-nighters, where odder and odder things keep happening. Get this:
    A game-show host didn’t win the presidency but he was allowed to take office anyway, and he immediately hired his daughter and her husband, and then they all recruited the ABSOLUTE WORST people they could find for every job! Like, for Attorney General they got this dried-up Kebler elf from the deep south who was too racist for Alabama, and for Education Secretary they literally got somebody who wants to defund education! And an ACTUAL NAZI also too. (I know, right? I told you it keeps getting weirder.)
    Oh, and also there’s this subplot of how it was actually the Russians who caused all this, and literally every. single. person. in the White House plus some of them in Congress plus some randos out in places like Turkey has these inexplicable ties to Putin.
    OH! And also too, the game-show guy keeps trying to start a war.
    I need to stop drinking sugary drinks right before bed, I guess.

    • jesterpunk

      Wake up now, i think we are all caught in your dream.

      • SnarkON

        You people are crazy. My president is this intelligent, handsome black guy.

    • Moebym Reborn

      Funny that – I had the same dream.

    • Count Awesome

      It’s so “Inception”-y where what is the dream and what is real.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Use your totem!

    • georgiaburning

      it’s sort of like the plot of Colossal, but we’re stuck in it

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      I had a nightmare that makes yours look positively tame. It was about a woman who wanted to be a world leader, and she sent and received emails.

      • Up In Smoke O’hontas

        *shudders*

    • HazooToo

      I’m having the same fucked up dream, and in mine, I keep arguing with Bernie bros who don’t understand how to use their inside voices.

  • Picabo

    Nothing to see here here. Move along. No global warming.

    How Weird Was Arlene?
    Arlene was the first tropical storm in April to exist in the Atlantic Basin since Ana in 2003, which also formed on April 20, just a few hours earlier.

    (RECAP: April 2003’s Tropical Storm Ana)

    Prior to the beginning of the satellite era, which began in the mid-1960s, this type of storm was practically impossible to detect, according to the National Hurricane Center, so it is possible that others have occurred prior to that time.

    While Ana had been the only April Atlantic tropical storm in records dating to 1851, an April 1992 subtropical storm was found in post-analysis by the NHC. Since it was not classified as such at the time, a later hurricane that year, Andrew, got the “A” name.

    Arlene was also the farthest north a tropical storm has formed in the Atlantic so early in the season.

    https://weather.com/storms/hurricane/news/tropical-storm-arlene-atlantic-april-2017

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I am looking forwards to the day Mar-A-Lago is swept into the sea with great relish.

      • Picabo

        “Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and goodwill, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper, and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers.”

      • Yr. Gma

        And some mustard and chopped onions.

        • CogitoErgoBibo

          And chocolate cake for dessert. The best chocolate cake. Just tremendous.

          • vivian

            “Incoming!”

      • jesterpunk

        Next time little Donny wants to make a big boom boom someone should give him these coordinates. 26.6771° N, 80.0370° W

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        That that hasn’t happened already is proof (my) prayers do not work.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Bec Jenn

      watched this last night. Video is awesome when, um, let’s see, using MMJ RSO. Sounds even better too. BTW, do you know the dry mouth/eyes effect is GREAT when one has a cold (it’s been helping me breath).

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I kinda do, I used to be on meds that made me have Cottonmouth.

        I’ve never use MMJ, but my ex-GF and her roommate used a water pipe, and I’d get a giggly contact-high. :)

  • proudgrampa

    I think I’m gonna fall in love with that woman…

  • SnarkON

    “…the folks squatting in the White House right now wish to be free to collude with Russia and destroy America in peace.”

    I read that as “cuddle with Russia,” which I think also works.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Come and keep your comrade warm.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • RobKanC

      But Bernie is practically saint. Revolucion!!!

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        Bernie’s a Democrat again? When did that happen?

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Nah. He’s still playing catch me, fuck me on that one.

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            “catch me, fuck you”

            FTFY,YW.

        • RobKanC

          He is like a Schrodinger’s cat.

          • georgiaburning

            Schrodinger’s cat existed in two states of equal uncertaincy. Bernie is like a real cat,also existing in another dimension: stubborn capriciousness. (There’s probably a much better word for it in Japanese)

        • HazooToo

          Actually, he’s said in no uncertain terms that he is not. So fuck him. And not just for that, but for all of this as well.

          https://twitter.com/i/moments/855185350125387776

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I promised Dok I’d try to tone down the Bernie snark. But yeah.

          • HazooToo

            I’ve been trying too. It’s just hard to stop talking about people when they won’t stop trying to put their cock in your breakfast cereal.

        • Jenny

          He needs the money.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      When I read Bernie was on a tour called “Come Together”, I laughed a lot of scary, bitter laughter. That’s what we will remember most about Bernie..the incredible unity he brought to our party!

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Bernie’s half of the show is the White People’s Apologia segment.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      And one of the guys isn’t even a Democrat.

  • jesterpunk

    Not sure if anyone here like Green Day, but just about every concert they let a fan come up on stage and play a song with them. Normally the fans get a cheaper guitar to play then keep but for this video Billie Joe let the fan use his famous guitar Blue. This kid nailed the song.

    https://youtu.be/cBnvqs2QZmI

    Here is the article about the video.

    http://radio.com/2016/10/26/green-day-superfan-plays-when-i-come-around/

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      My punker-than-thou friends give me shit for it, but I like Green Day.

      • jesterpunk

        I am almost 40 and I still like Green Day. Nothing wrong with liking them at all.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Well, I’m a lot older than you, whippersnapper, and I still like ’em too. I think Billy Joe’s a good guy.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I don’t even listen to any new music anymore. I’m going to but on my headphones and listen to Atlantic City. The Band version. Do you have a couple of nibbles you can throw at me alwayspunk?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Dude, I’m going backwards in time. Listening to a lot of old Buck Owens, Faron Young, George Jones, and the Louvin Bros. at the moment.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I have never listened to a single one of these cats! Ima start searching youtube

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Old honky tonk and country. Despite the whole “Hee Haw” thing, these cats were pretty subversive for their time.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I’m not drunk enough yet. I already put up the first two. Something 60’s 70’s?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Late 50’s and 60’s. Even earlier for Faron Young and the Louvins. We cover one of their songs…”Great Atomic Power”.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I’m listening to Ferlin Husky “Wings of a dove” right now. I’m not drunk enough yet for this.Something else from another artist later? I really like Levon Helm’s stuff if that helps.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Levon was a true soul man, and also a living compendium of American music…..rock&roll, gospel, bluegrass, r&b, blues. Guarantee he dug the folks I mentioned.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I understand that. I was wondering if you knew anyone else from outside of this period that you might recommend.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Lemme have a few beers and get back to you, my brother. I’m still in my shop/linear thinking mode.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Aight. Imma listen to some R.L. Burnside until you get back to me. :)

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Fuck yeah. Real deal, that cat. Check out T Model Ford also too.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Hehe! I was gonna come back with him. I know a lil T-model. I found out about these guy sbecause of John Spencer Blues Explosion. And then I saw a documentary on fatpossum(?) records?

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I’d like to see that. I’ve come to have mixed feelings about the blues…because the genre has become so whitened, diluted, and predictable. I like that raw shit though. Are you familiar with Joseph Spence? Not blues at all. A guitarist (long dead) from the Bahamas…one of these guys that just picked up the instrument without knowing how it should be played or tuned and found his own way. He mostly plays instrumental arrangements of Christian hymns he learned as a child…but in a completely crazy,syncopated, wonderfully idiosyncratic way. Also sometimes accompanies himself on vocals, which is like something from another planet.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            No I have not. That’s the whole thing about fatpossum records. (I actually just read the wiki to remind me of what I know). It started out as two white kids at a university in Mississippi that had an interest in music. But thank goodness that they got some of these old cats recorded before they died. It also helped their families with royalties (I don’t want to talk about it because the white boys made millions).

            What do you think about Ry Cooder and Ali Farka Toure? To me it’s very similar. But Toure was popular in Afrika. He wasn’t some dude sitting in a shack in Mississippi.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Love Ry and Ali Farka Toure. Ry’s music can sound a little too careful and imitative to me at times…but I’d love to talk to him about music and know what he knows. Those African cats were much like Joseph Spence….they didn’t know the “rules”, so they just made music very naturally, the way they felt an heard it in their heads and hearts.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            I don’t really know much of Ry. Ali can drag your soul out no matter how deeply it is hidden.

            I put up the documentary at the top of the thread.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Thx man. I hope to have some time to watch it on Sunday.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            No problem brother.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Check out the comment I wrote above to your newer post about R.L. It’s a book you might find very interesting.

          • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

            Ok. Here is the documentary that I saw. “you see me laughing” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSRdQgidCHY

        • Juan de Fuca

          Almost all of 40 you say? I’m at least seven years older and am impressed that you liked Green Day in high school. It took me until I was in my 30’s.

      • AJ Milne

        When I first heard them, I think I was going through a grumpy everything on the radio sounds the same phase. They’ve grown on me since, though. And just love that beefy guitar sound they got on Pretty Fly.

      • mancityRed6

        their really early stuff is damn good for a threesome, but then, I hold a soft spot for https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MRdtXWcgIw
        so my opinion ain’t much.

        *edit* their vs they’re because I’ve been drinking.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Punkie Bros?

    • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

      That’s awesome! Was it the time of his life?

    • Blacktop Autumn

      They’re not bad live, so there’s that.

      They’re also touring with Against Me!, so they have taste.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    So, I got a call a few weeks ago asking if my band would play at our local Rally For Science tomorrow. Happy to do it…just asked, since Saturdays are work days for me- to let me know specifics ASAP. Still haven’t heard back. I get asked to do a LOT of benefits; not having much dough, I’m almost always happy to oblige as a way for me to contribute to the civic good. I’m not one of those guys who makes big demands about times, stage setup, quality of the PA etc., but there are a few things I ask…one of which is “don’t dick me around”. I now feel officially dicked around.

    • mancityRed6

      as a Democrat, let’s just say they’re not much for being orgaised.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Knowing you, I think you’re slyly clever enough to have thrown “orgaised” in there on purpose.

        • mancityRed6

          I still spell UK sometimes

          • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

            Innit.

          • Juan de Fuca

            Our new enginnering tech from the UK is still cracking people up at work, in a good way. Especially when he’s talking over the radio –

            Me: “I’m sourcing the meter at full-scale, what are you reading on your end?”

            New guy: “Nine’een dot aught four milliamps mate.”

    • Mary Sandoras

      Sorry to hear that.

    • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

      Grrrrrrrr

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      If you are just now being asked, then you were already dicked around. We’ve been planning the Tax Day (4/15) and Science (4/22) Marches here since the successful showing of the Women’s March in January. Multiple meetings. Hell, The Periodic Table, my Dragon Con parade group had been invited to march en masse months ago. That’s bullshit, man.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        It’s almost axiomatic for people who organize these kinds of things to decide they want to have live music at some point down the line. They think it’s a great idea…they just don’t want to spend any time dealing with it, organizing it, or being civil to the musicians they ask to donate.

        • Claire

          Liberals in general are not good at organizing or following through on things. We’re low on both the Conscientiousness dimension of personality and most measures of socialization. Which is fine until we have to deal with things like organizing calendars and arranging contracts with musicians and then it sucks for everyone involved.

  • jaspersdad
    • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

      Ok, I’ll admit it. Some kids are cute as hell.

      • mancityRed6

        just so long as they aren’t mine.

        • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

          Exactly!

        • h4rr4r

          I get it you have ugly kids, but don’t say it online where they can see it.

          • mancityRed6

            then I’ve been lacking on a lot of father’s day cards, so they better get cracking!

        • EXACLY.

    • Thiazin Red

      I was fine until that last picture.

  • Moebym Reborn

    I’m one of those people who hates wasting food, but always cooks more than I can possibly eat in one or two meals, resulting in a lot of food spoiling while sitting forgotten in my fridge.

    In politics-related news, I was looking up the local weather forecast on Weather Underground when I saw this post on the front page: “Why We’re Taking Part in the March for Science”. It brought a smile to my face.

    • h4rr4r

      The freezer is this really cool new invention you should look into.

      I do the same​ thing but then put it in takeout plastic tubs and take them to work as lunch.

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        Ah, yes, the elders in my village have heard tell of this strange artefact, the Free-zer.
        They say it can turn a man’s fingers to ice in mere minutes, as if they were suddenly – and magically – transported to the northernmost peak of Mount Everest!
        But mother will have no brook with such wizardry, not under her roof. Tis wrong to fool with such powers, she scolds. Ah how I dream of escaping this dull country life, with its tired ways, and escaping to the thrill and the lights of the big city!….

      • Moebym Reborn

        I do have a freezer compartment in the fridge, and I do put food in there when I can find enough space inside, but I usually just turn the dial to a colder setting for the fridge compartment and cross my fingers that the food keeps…

        • h4rr4r

          Years of Tetris have made me the official household freezer organizer.

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      Does it say because the Derp is getting too deep?

    • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

      I refuse to cook a half a box of pasta for myself. I cook the whole box. Then I make the second half in a different way. If I cook too much soup, stew, chili, etc I freeze it for later. If I’m cooking meat, I figure out whatever portioning beforehand, and break it down into two. It only takes a few moments of prep to make to food dollars go a lot longer and tastier way.

      • h4rr4r

        I make lunch for all week this way. Saves so much time too.

        • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

          Cheap disposable but reusable containers make life easier. Recyclable also too.

          • h4rr4r

            Free if your local Chinese place does not poke vent holes in them. They are top rack dishwasher safe too!

    • Claire

      I try to prep food for a few days in advance, but I’m always tripped up by the fact that I hate leftovers. They just taste… funny. So I wind up wasting food too.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
    • mancityRed6

      I’ve tried leashes on a cat before, it didn’t end well.
      Also, my cat Tulip (yes he was a boy) used to show his displeasure at being at the vet by farting.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD My Claudia was a stinky farter when we adopted her, but I bought better food and it ended the very next day, thank The Old Ones.

        • Claire

          My boy cat rarely farts, but when he does, he makes sure to get up on my lap first.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            That’s love. XD

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        We have a super hero kitty: Flatulence Cat®

        • mancityRed6

          Tulip (his name was from a bet from two sisters, one of whom I was dating) is gone from his mortal coil, but the spirit remains.
          a friend came by, Tulip just smacked him with his paws, no claws.
          also, some stoners came bay and Tulip (according to them) “grabbed a bud out of the bag and ate it”
          this was the cat who was a blanket humper before the snip, so I can’t really disprove the second claim, I saw the first one. Laughed my ass off.

          • kareemachan

            Hey, our cat is STILL a blanket humper. And yes, he’s snipped.

    • Up In Smoke O’hontas

      Minhontas took the troublemaker out on a leash once. It took an hour, a container of Pounce, and finally a can of dolphin safe tuna to get her out of the engine compartment of the neighbor’s van. Kitty stays inside now.

      • snark-lurker

        should-a asked to borrow neighbor’s keys & started van!

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          I thought about it, but I’ve had kitty tragedies enuf… and if I could remember how to hide things on disqus I’d tell you…I’ll leave it at “recliner, bad.”

          • snark-lurker

            hey me knows “recliner bad”!

      • Rasilom

        This guy managed to get out of his harness in petco one evening. I looked away for about 2 seconds and the leash went slack. Found him 2 isles away in the middle of several pulfered catnip toys.
        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8892cc63081a9c9882329b6753dbdd0f8d7ce26cafb92fe87e4ed10b3a56835f.jpg

        • Up In Smoke O’hontas

          Sure as shit, that one has trouble written all over him…as soon as he wakes up!

          • Rasilom

            Hell he is trouble even when he is asleep. Coolest cat I have ever owned. He loves to ride in my truck with me. Backed down my friends 80 lb lab. I swear he would wear a leather jacket and ride a harley if I could get them in his size.

          • Up In Smoke O’hontas

            Badass cat! Put him on an Indian though ;-)

    • HazooToo

      I have attempted leashes on a ferret with results that were almost identical. Except after the ferret escaped, he stole the leash, hid it under the TV, and slowly ate more than half of it over the next two months.

  • LiPao
  • Picabo

    Another long read from Jim Wright at Stonekettle Station. Worth your time.

    “And me?

    I joined the Navy.

    And one day, many years later in the wake of 911, I was on the bridge of a cruiser as we steamed north through the Straits of Hormuz, past Iran, headed for Iraq and war. By then I was salty navy intelligence officer, an experienced war planner, with peculiar and unusual skills. It wasn’t the first time I’d been there and I had actually served with men who had been in the desert on that horrible day when Eagle Claw crashed and burned.”

    http://www.stonekettle.com/

    • mancityRed6

      a friend of mine shuttled marines and seals from the ships to the Somalia shores.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Read that earlier. Spot on.

    • Claire

      I think this was one of his best essays. I just wish he and everyone else with his gift for communication had started saying this twenty years ago and kept saying it every day until now. Now, I think it’s too late.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Never too late. My brother and I passed a long ass trainload of desert vehicles near Dobbins AFB two weekends ago. My brother took video of the whole thing, over a mile long. We’re gearing up for another one. The GOP has a budget line, asking to inflate the Army to 500K again and to inflate the Navy also too.

        • Claire

          Yeah, but the part that I wish he’d started saying 20 years ago doesn’t have anything to do with the military. It’s about the decline in education and the idea that one person’s ignorance is as good as another’s experience, and the idea that a person who knows absolutely nothing about history or international relations or politics will make a good president BECAUSE he knows literally nothing about anything involved. It’s the defensive narcissism of ignorance.

          That’s what I think someone should have started saying back before the Republicans launched their all-out war on public education, higher education, and native intelligence. Now the contempt for those things is just too entrenched in the culture. We’ll never again be the same country that sent men to the moon with more primitive technology than most Americans carry in their pockets in 2017.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yesterday, walking home from the store I was on the walkway bridge over the highway and I saw a company of US Army Strykers heading East on the highway.

  • mancityRed6

    this is my favorite spot from wheels of fire
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AF1rUWmrYro

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Of course Natas with the Eight Dayz soundtrack! One of the first skating vids I ever watched

  • WomanInThePersistence

    OMFG, I’m soooooo tired. Six hours of yard work. But the blackberry bramble has been (temporarily) vanquished, the grass isn’t 18″ high anymore, and my yard no longer looks like a backdrop for a documentary on what Earth would look like if humans disappeared. Mind you, I can’t exactly call it pretty, but at least it doesn’t look ignored.

    And I even managed to assemble a lawn mower!

    • snark-lurker

      you got a new mawn mower? luuukkeee

      • WomanInThePersistence

        I had to. My last one was stolen.

        • snark-lurker

          guess that not luckee :(

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I hated the damn thing, so I’m crying no bitter tears over its loss. But thanks.:)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Nicely done! :) One good thing about this kind of task is you can *see* the progress you’ve made.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Thank you. There’s a lot more that needs doing. I used to have a very nice garden, but due to stuff and things, I have really let it go. It’s gonna be one hell of a reclamation project.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          I hear that, but hey, you’ve made a good start. :)

          I didn’t do much today. After the way this week has gone, I just put on a bikini and have been lazy. I did a minimum of dishes and laundry, made a big batch of mac-‘n-cheese, and been lazy listening to Jack White and chatting. I haven’t even opened my door or used my voice.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Everybody needs days like that. Granted, I’m more likely to be in jammies and listening to Richard and Linda Thompson or the Clash, but the principle’s the same.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD I <3 the Clash as well, and yes, I'll challenge myself again tomorrow.

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFHEuKkTa5k

          • WomanInThePersistence
          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD

            https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wqcizZebcaU

            I used to know a guy said “London Calling” was the “sell-out” album, but Anna does not care, I think the whole thing is awesome.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I’d always heard it was “Combat Rock”.

            https://youtu.be/XlqSSWXbcOw

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I love “Combat Rock” too. :)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I knew you are a woman of taste and distinction. This merely is extra bonus proof.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~curtseys~ Thank you My Dear XD

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            I trucked to the library and back, which takes 4 buses. It’s not much but not much makes me damned tired these days. I’m trying to find ways out of cooking dinner but I haven’t found any, so there it is. :D

            Oh, I borrowed the Temple Grandin DVD from the library. I hope it’s good.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Oh, please let me know what you think of that, I’d like to see it.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Will do!

    • mancityRed6

      no one said home ownership (or rentalship) was easy.
      good on you.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        It’s a boatload of work. But there’s not a lot of options for me. I doubt that I could find a one-bedroom apartment for what I’m paying here in PDX. Especially with a pet.

        • mancityRed6

          600 sq ft one bedroom, one bath with attached garage that the city said was worth $100k? tell me about it.

        • kareemachan

          I was watching (I’m sick with a crappy virus) a HGTV show about winning the lottery and buying a house. Do you KNOW how little it costs to buy a house in Indiana or Kansas!!!!1!!!!???!

          But… you’d have to live there….

          ETA: A house three times as big as ours cost half as much. I’m officially mind-boggled.

    • kareemachan

      Remember, goats and sheep are REALLY good with brambles.

      And, OMG, a co-worker brought in 3 lambs (out of a batch of FIVE) last week cuz Mom (duh) can’t take care of all of them. Three 3-lb lambs snuggled in our collective arms. As someone pointed out, bad for productivity, GREAT for morale.

      Shit, they were CUTE!

      • WomanInThePersistence

        As I said, I would love to have a goat. But my yard is small, and the city of Portland would probablyrics have a different opinion.

        And where do you work that people can bring in lambs? Please tell me it’s not an ER. But I bet they were adorable!

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          You can ACTUALLY have a goat in the city.

          Why the hell don’t I live there? lol

          https://www.portlandoregon.gov/bps/article/362065

          • WomanInThePersistence

            It’s that 15′ that would be a problem. My little corner of paradise consists of small homes rather tightly packed together. And I definately know several neighbors who would be, shall we say, unsupportive?

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Aw, yeah, I wondered about that. Also too you actually have to be 50 feet away because goats have hooves. :(

  • Shoto
    • Count Awesome

      Way to shoot the messenger

    • Michael R

      That pretty much describes everything Trump does .

  • A_Changeling

    I’m making Regency clothes for a Jane Austen larp. I found a lot from the theatre wardrobe that I can work on. Making a redcoat uniform is fun. I don’t know if this is a productive use of my time, but what’s the point of anything really?

    • mancityRed6

      pics?

      • A_Changeling

        It doesn’t look like much now, but I’ll take some when I’ve got something to show.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn, I want a Redcoat uniform. Nice!

      • tapp_my_wire,please
        • Anna Elizabeth

          GAHHH!

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            She really thought that looked cute too. Bless her heart, her blackened wizened little heart.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Yeah, that Sell-Sword is delusional about many, many things.

          • Claire

            I go through these phases of being genuinely saddened that no one cares enough about her to stop her from going out of the house looking like that. I get over them quickly, though.

          • h4rr4r

            I like your ever changing avatar images. This is a good one.

          • Anna Elizabeth
        • A_Changeling

          She got one thing right, though – always gold buttons with blue.

        • Doug Langley

          In Gone With The Wind, the little girl wore red gloves just like that a moment before she died. No idea why that should pop into my head.

    • Claire

      To create and be happy at creating, so you’re there.

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit
    • WomanInThePersistence

      Are you going as any particular Character? I bet you’d make a smashing Wickham!

      • A_Changeling

        It’s not anything out of the books – an officer who returned from war with the money to marry to find out the fiencée had died, and is now dark & brooding and reading poetry. Heh. I’d love to be Wickham though, too.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          That would be James Benwick from “Persuasion,” except he was a sailor. ;)

          • A_Changeling

            I haven’t actually read that – I should, in preparation.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Good plan! :D

          • WomanInThePersistence

            You beat me to it.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    Okay, I found half a carton of strawberries in the fridge, that I’d forgotten about. Have salvaged what I can, and have a nice tub of fromage frais to do something with, also, too….
    Off to watch an episode of Dexter, then to bed.
    Have a nice weekend, fellow travellers, and I look forward to seeing some of you in the DSFB thread. Laters.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Be well and safe, sw19. :)

      • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

        If you don’t hear from me again, you know it was the strawberries that done me in!

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Be brave, Mon Cher, you can defeat them!

        • therblig

          do you identify as Queeg?

    • Michael R
      • kareemachan

        GACK!!!!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Have a lovely night.

    • Doug Langley

      Um, Captain Queeg would like to have a word with you . . .

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Tropical Storm Arlene bears down on Mar-a-Lago. Donald has the property sprayed down with a month’s supply of his hairspray and any wind/flooding damage is averted.

  • Shoto
  • mancityRed6

    this is what I grew up watching:
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCACMphRm1s

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      Love it love it! I owned liked multiple Matt Hensleys back in the day!

  • Reximus
    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      There isn’t even a budget yet. This is ridiculous.

    • Rachel Book Harlot

      The rubes believe we’ll bill Mexico for it later.

    • mancityRed6

      $1 for the wall = $1 for Obamacare. the new deal.

  • magsie

    Yates needs heavy security until she testifies!! look how many Russians have been killed/died recently!!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Ugh, long day at the office. I think people are trying to be stupid just to spite me.

    • mancityRed6

      no, people are stupid. full stop.

  • Picabo
  • memzilla Ω
    • IOnlyLikeCats

      If I’m not writing fiction, academic papers, or legal stuff, I’m off-duty and so is my grammar and spelling.

      • snark-lurker

        yuh mean it madders?

      • Yr. Gma

        Grammar and spelling are important only in that you need to get your message across to someone so it’s a good idea to use the conventions of the language you share with that person.

        Ulessn dnt’o marett hwat yas uoy.

        • Lamashtar

          My favorite grammar joke was ending a phrase with a contraction, a la “things as they’re.”

    • Claire

      I require this mug.

    • mancityRed6

      I need this in a shirt.

    • Wild Cat

      How’d you dig up our House Style Sheet???

    • Serai 1

      That last one especially pisses me off. How fucking stupid do you have to be to make that mistake?

      And you know who I caught doing it? NEIL FUCKING GAIMAN. It’s in his fucking books. I’ve never wanted to reach through a book’s pages and bitchslap someone like that. Holy SHIT.

      • kareemachan

        Hey, nobody’s perfect. Get over yourself.

        • Yr. Gma

          Some people are perfect. Science fact.

        • mancityRed6

          pobody’s nerfect.

        • Serai 1

          Fuck off, Missy Thing. I wasn’t talking to you.

      • WomanInThePersistence

        Is there a chance it’s a literary device?

        • Serai 1

          No. Not a chance. It’s not in dialogue, it’s in the narration. Right there – “should of”. MULTIPLE times. ARGH.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Well, that is annoying.

      • Courser_Resistance

        I’ve been downright offended at the shit that gets through editors these days. I really don’t blame the author 100%. I’ve written fucktons of shit and it’s really hard to catch some shit. But any copy editor worth his salt should have caught it.

    • Picabo
    • Yr. Gma

      I should have assigned these to my students. I wonder if the campus bookstore would carry them? (Or maybe I should say “should of” assigned them.)
      ETA: Got one for my teacher daughter for her birthday.

    • A_Changeling

      Well I guess I learned the proper usage of “fucking”?
      I’ve noticed people who speak English as a foreign language rarely make these mistakes. I guess because they have to understand what the words mean.

    • Moebym Reborn

      I need that mug.

    • C4TWOMAN

      It’s not clear what the context is:
      Books? Newpapers? Casual non-comments?
      Most of these “mistakes” are fatigue induced dyslexia or rushed typing. We do it all the time in comments. It’s doesn’t mean we don’t know the difference between those things. I only get annoyed if this is AFTER copy editing in a written work I’ve paid $$$ for.

      Perspective , and all that….

  • memzilla Ω
  • memzilla Ω

    Legalize marijuana permanently. Build your stupid wall with the taxes.

    • IOnlyLikeCats

      Or we could fund schools.

      • TJ Barke

        You dreamer, you.

      • mancityRed6

        such an optimist

    • OrG

      First part yes. Second part fuck that stupid wall.

    • jesterpunk

      Can we just tell him we built a wall and not actually build it?

      • Ms.MLG on Maui

        Orrrrr….can we put him in prison, and tell him he has all the walls his heart desires now?!

        • OrG

          WINNER!

        • snark-lurker

          Rikers: NY is nice this time of year

          • mancityRed6

            maybe for him, but they’re closing it down.

          • snark-lurker

            good: re-define solitary confinement–lock the doors & leave him behind

        • jesterpunk

          Your idea is so much better, lets see if Sally Yates can help with that.

      • snark-lurker

        “The armada is working on it as we speek, your glory.”

    • HazooToo

      Does the total price for the wall include court fees and settlements for the people who live along the border? Also, will we be ceding the river along the border to Mexico, or annexing Mexican territory?

      • Yr. Gma

        Apparently there’s a stretch along the Rio Grande that can’t be fenced on the Mexican side, so they have to build the wall well within the US border and that will strand some US citizens who will be living on the wrong side of the wall even though still in the US.

        • HazooToo

          He’s such an unbelievable dumbshit. He has clearly lied about SO many promises while campaigning, why is THIS one, the most physically impossible of his lies, the one he tries to cling to and force to work?!

          • jowgajen

            Because he can understand it. Wall is a tangible thing he can show pictures of and cut ribbons for. He doesn’t understand or care about policy or law, he can’t cut a ribbon for a law.

  • jesterpunk

    So if Trump wants to start shit with Canada can Canada kick his companies out of the country? He does have 14 companies doing business there.

    http://time.com/4629308/donald-trump-business-deals-world-map/

    • HazooToo

      PLEASE, Justin, fuck him up so hard. Make it personal.

      • Doug Langley

        “I’ve HAD enough of that guy!! Bomb Oakland immediately!”
        “Yes, sir! Uh, don’t you mean Ottawa?”
        “Huh? Oh yeah, that too.”

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Tee hee hee.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • Résistance Land Shark Ω
  • andyshelt

    Trump endorses fascist Marine Le Pen in the French Presidential Election.

    What could possibly go wrong with a fascist demagogue rising to power in Europe?
    If only we had some historical parallel to guide us.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/0276326f167da9e406da974354a0900265eff5778c5d85eed77d2f7d122e0b1a.jpg

    https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/apr/21/donald-trump-marine-le-pen-french-presidential-election

    • OrG

      France can’t possibly be that stupid,can they?

      • snark-lurker

        ha!

    • jaspersdad

      Hopefully that will be end of her…

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Typically, US presidents avoid speculation on overseas elections. But Trump suggested his opinion was no different from any other: “Everybody is making predictions on who is going to win. I’m no different than you.”

      YES YOU ARE, YOU DUMBASS! YOU’RE THE FUCKING PRESIDENT OF THE US AND THE VERBAL DIARRHEA YOU SPOUT MAKES AMERICA LOOK STUPID.

      • HazooToo

        To be honest, electing him as president made America look stupid.

    • Everrett Fanuelli

      I did read a piece, I think in the Post or the Times, that La Pen is really doing well among millenials. Totally possible that she will win.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Like young Americans, they have no perspective on what war and dictatorship look like up close.

        • Everrett Fanuelli

          Actually from reading the interviews with her young supporters it seemed like they felt a sense of entitlement and it was immigrants and the EU that were preventing them from getting what they deserved.

          • just_jim

            Another point for Mencken “Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard.”

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I think many of our Millennials have a clue. Most did not vote for Trump.

  • Jamoche

    http://imgur.com/gallery/fXOFG
    Tiny Jyn Erso Heads to Star Wars Celebration, Hands Every Leia a Copy of the Death Star Plans

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is just entirely too damn cute.
      Flagged!

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Saw that earlier. The last picture? OMFG.

  • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

    Downthread I was talking with alwayspunk. Anyway, if anyone here likes blues, here is an awesome documentary about fatpossum records and the old bluesmen of the delta.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Network and name?

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        It’s a documentary on youtube.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Linky?

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        Oh, ok. I get ya. Exactly!

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        Sorry. Refresh I added it.

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Except …. where’s the link? Delta blues is one of my faves.

      • Suttree: Secretary of Victuals

        fixed

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Just on a chance, you might be interested in reading “Escaping Delta”, by Elijah Wald. With Robert Johnson as a backdrop, the premise of the book is that what we have come to refer to as “delta blues” was largely an exploitative genre invented by white record producers to cash in on the “race” market. It’s not that the genre didn’t exist…it’s just that they perpetrated a myth of the music being played by these sort of rural black savants on isolated plantations. In reality, Robert Johnson and most of his contemporaries were pretty sophisticated guys…cosmopolitan and well traveled, sharp-dressing. Johnson was a popular dance musician…blues was only a small part of his repertoire, which included popular show tunes, jazz, and country music.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          NERD!!1!

          Srsly though, yay learny things! Just another reason to love Our Wonket.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Unpossible. I don’t even wear glasses.

    • MynameisBlarney

      R.L. Burnside.

      Aaaaaw yiiiissss!

  • Jennifer R

    D&D tonight. I think we will find the dragon’s egg in this dungeon under a dark dwarf city. And I might get this snazzy hat made from a displacer beast that this one NPC keeps wearing.

  • Downchuck

    Evan – Good summation but you shouldn’t have given them the pizza idea.

  • Bill D. Burger

    HuffPo contributer and blogger Chris Cali got in sum’ hot water for this piece and was suspended…..but I like it VERY much. The truth hurt the feefees’ of many cons and Trumpanzees.
    I’m a baaad’ man. ~snicker~
    Good read.
    Here’s a taste:

    [Chris Cali, Contributor
    Writer, Artist, Musician
    Trump Supporters Deserve To Die More Than I Do
    04/13/2017 05:01 pm ET | Updated 11 hours ago

    So sorry not sorry, but the ones who actually deserve to have a nuke dropped on them first are the ones who voted to get us all into this mess. They’re the ones who would have brought it on themselves if their healthcare was taken away and they dropped dead from their pre-existing conditions. And you know what? The world really wouldn’t miss them one itty bitty damn bit. If a bunch of these hypocrites who chanted “lock her up” overdose on Oxy and decimate their Podunk towns, honestly, the human species will be better off without them. It’s practically Darwinian. Or to put it in language maybe more of them are familiar with, “God don’t like stupid.” It’s one thing to be dumb enough to expend so much of your energy hating other people or neurotically obsessing about what others do with their own god damn genitals but it’s another to do it to the point that you’re willing to sink your own ship just to watch people you don’t like drown next to you. These are the people who should be filling the front lines of whatever war Trump wants to start so he and his billionaire buddies can profit off weapons manufacturing and oil contracts. These are the people who deserve to have their towns annihilated. These people are who actually deserve to die in a war that they’ll line up to support. Not my ass. I have a lot to live for. They’ve already decided that they don’t.]

    http://archive.is/tveBZ

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      What’s that the deplorables LOVE to say about Trump? That he only says what everyone is thinking?

      The reverse sentiment coming from this guy, but, i have to admit, he’s only saying what I often think.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      But they will die in that war, and from opioids and from preexisting conditions. And so will I and others that didn’t vote for Trump. I posted on my FB page after 11/9 that I didn’t care who you voted for or even whether you voted or not, We Are All Fucked. And that I’d be posting information to help people. I had a few friends of friends show their ass in the early days but I see more people reposting as the days go on.
      In other words, what dude was saying didn’t need to be said. And where was his editor?

  • mancityRed6

    last time tonight, I swear to dog
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NShkP9gZhXY
    Matt Hensley kicks all the ass and he was a guitarist for Flogging Molly

    • MynameisBlarney
      • Everrett Fanuelli

        I see your Rob Roskopf and raise you a Jason Lee

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyAT-Lw0eZI

        • mancityRed6

          fallen so far… *pours a beer out*
          I’m sorry, son. You’re just dumb now.

          • Everrett Fanuelli

            Smoothest skater ever IMO.

      • mancityRed6

        I rented that video so many times, I should have bought it.

      • boll ocks

        I owned this on VHS – it’s a fucking masterpiece

        • MynameisBlarney

          Yeah, I had the tape too, until my vcr ate it.
          And yes, it’s fucking brilliant.

  • janecita

    I hope that the prairie dogs bite his murderous ass!

    Donald Trump Jr. Is Going Prairie Dog Hunting and It’s Angering People in Montana – TIME
    https://apple.news/AFd4TMtlHTzOyHpLPVNkLdA

    • MynameisBlarney

      What a fucking douchehammer.

    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      From this moment on, I shall forever refer to Donald Trump Jr. as Elmer Fudd.

      • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

        But what will you refer to Sessions as?

        • h4rr4r

          Keebler Klansman!

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Beauregard.

        • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

          A racist Keebler elf

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Good one.

      • HogeyeGrex

        As a metaphor mixer, I may go with Uday Fudd.
        Or is he Qusay? I can never remember.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Doesn’t matter. Pick one and stick with it. I did.

    • Meliflaw

      Oh, bloody hell. Why doesn’t this dumbass hire himself a publicist? (Although I suppose it’s somewhat less disgusting than hunting leopards.)

      Meanwhile, ride, Sally, ride! Help lock up the treasonous bastards.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Jr. is a loathsome piece of shit and the greasy turd didn’t roll far from the outhouse.

      If only!!!
      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4278b581802f566657d26717ea5afdd6a07bb07c89ed2f4489b089fccdf4dc3c.jpg ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ec/8f/da/ec8fda4dbeed3e9f801f3547f6b880d1.jpg

      • janecita

        Hopefully, they will all be packing heat!

    • Count Awesome

      I hope Dick Cheney was invited.

      • janecita

        Me too!

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Claire

      Ugh. I hope a prairie dog with rabies bites him.

    • HazooToo

      “Clearly they’ve never shot a prairie dog. They don’t know how much fun it is.”

      No. No we do not know how much fun killing things is.
      Fucking jesus christ.

      • Bill D. Burger

        Killing for killing’s sake. That goddamned POS is as worthless as a human being as is his father.

        https://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/u6tscwklh9s3684gimgq.jpg

        • HazooToo

          Well, that’s fucking disgusting.

        • Treg Brown

          Tell me again the part where he slaps him across the face knocking him to the floor.

          Despite what I’m sure was a fucked up childhood, no fucking pity from me.

        • janecita

          What kind of a father does something like that? God damned psychopath!

    • h4rr4r

      Which is kinda odd, since those things are a real menace.

      • HogeyeGrex

        Yes.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I don’t see how DJT and DJT jr think they are bringing help to this asshat’s campaign. I am sure that DJT’s tweets didn’t hurt Ossoff at all and won’t help Handel.

    • Alan

      He’s a sociopath.

    • yyyaz

      WTAF…. prairie dogs are kinda sorta like our own native meerkats. Why not just go stomp tadpoles. There isn’t enough contempt in the galaxy for what this entire fucked-up family deserves.

  • Everrett Fanuelli

    Apparently we all just need Pepsi and Chobani yogurt and everything will be fixed.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49nsEs3rN8I

    • jowgajen

      That is just dumb.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I just wish that corps would stop trying to be cool and just tell us about their products. Amirite? I eat Chobani because it tastes good. I don’t drink Pepsi, unless there just isn’t another choice, because it’s not my favorite. I don’t need a commercial to sell me on their coolness. Now get off my lawn.

  • Count Awesome

    It’ll be funny if Trump is brought down by Yates for this. I would have guessed it more than likely Trump would be brought down by a woman for pussy grabbing rather than that.

    • DainBramage

      Trump could rape a half dozen people on the White House lawn and the Rethugs would do nothing.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        He’s raping most of the United States on a daily basis and the Rethugs do nothing. Except help.

  • mancityRed6
  • janecita
    • TJ Barke

      Good.

    • Doug Langley

      GAGGGGG!!! His makeup artist is really underpaid!!

      • janecita

        He looks so fucking old! That makeup artist is a magician!

    • DainBramage

      Looking like…is… same thing.

    • Bill D. Burger
    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      You say this like it’s a new thing.

    • mancityRed6

      umm, the daily fail?

    • snark-lurker

      like in the movies–what happens to a vampire when the stake is installed

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      He pretty much always has…like a potato with a disease.

    • Claire

      HA ha!

      Edit: ordinarily I think paparazzi pictures are really gross, but it’s Bill O’Reilly, so I have no guilt. Karma is a bitch.

    • HogeyeGrex

      Someone needs to hire some jackass tabloid producer like Jesse Watters to go follow him around pointing a camera at him and asking him shitty questions about being fired. Actually, they should hire Jesse Watters to do it, because you know the little fuckwit has zero scruples or loyalty.

      • OrG

        THAT would be funny.

        • HogeyeGrex

          Irony so rarely gets to bat for the right team lately.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      I dunno. Looking at the picture at the Vatican and the ones from yesterday, he looks the same. Without makeup, he just looks like shit.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    I was whinging down thread about getting asked to play a Rally For Science benefit gig tomorrow and then not hearing a word back from the organizers. Just got an email: They opted to go with some other band-friends of one of the organizers (and apparently weren’t going to bother to tell me), but have now decided this group is not very dependable, and asked me if we could be there, ready with our gear, to go on in case the other band doesn’t show up. I came up with creative iterations of “kiss my ass” and “go fuck yourself” that even I was impressed with. Show business is a cruel mistress.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I’ve always assumed scientists were organized people. Silly me.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I don’t know the organizers. I’m assuming they aren’t the scientists…but then again, there’s a certain cluelessness about how normal humans operate in all this that may indicate some ivory tower egghead.

    • OrG

      It’s exposure man!

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Wait, what? They sent you this in the evening, the day before the event? They seriously expected you to be receptive to humping all your shit down there without even a guarantee that you’d get exposure bucks? That you hopefully wouldn’t even get to unpack your equipment, and just carry it back to the house? Somebody is severely lacking in social skills!

      Sill, I hope you didn’t sent the first draft response, but politely made up a commitment to something else. Professionalism in the face of a horrible insult is extremely self-satisfying.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        I was very professional until the “could you be there just in case” request. I agree with you in principal, and had it been someone in the music community that I might have to deal with again at some point, I probably would’ve responded with more restraint. But I’ve been at this for 30 years…there are times I’m just out of fucks to give.

    • Suttree

      Double grrrrrrrr. Fuck them.You did your best to contact them before, they didn’t reply. Anything going forward will include you being fucked even more. Don’t do it brother.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Yeah…I’m so out of there.

        • Suttree

          You are already a good person! Fuck them!

    • vivian

      “Um, I really want to get laid tonight, so I called my girlfriend and she’s coming over later, but do you want to come hang out in case she doesn’t show?”

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Boom. Pretty much. Makes a guy feel like a real prince. Fuck me.

  • Claire

    Hypothetically: suppose Melania took Barron and fled in the middle of the night to a monastery in the mist-shrouded mountains of Tibet. Could he still be turned from the path of evil, or would he just grow up to one day slaughter all the baby Jedi in their creche?

    • Bill D. Burger
      • Moebym Reborn

        He just looks like a spoiled, maladjusted, lonely child to me.

        • Yr. Gma

          Let’s stop ragging on Barron. He’s a little kid, FFS.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Damn right.

          • Claire

            I don’t really think that’s ragging on him. As a former spoiled, maladjusted, lonely child myself, I’m kind of biased toward believing it’s not the child’s fault, but it’s not a good starting point either.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            I agree. Wonkers are better than this.

          • janecita
          • MynameisBlarney

            That doesn’t mean we should do the same.

          • janecita

            I might not do it, but I won’t criticize anyone that does it either.

          • MynameisBlarney

            He’s a kid.
            To me that means innocent.
            We are better than this.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Well, you should. Picking on minor children, who have zero choice in the matter, is wrong. Just wrong.

            As been said, if he grows up to become a giant fuckstick then fine, pick on him. But he doesn’t even have facial hair yet FFS.

          • janecita

            Like I said before, I won’t criticize other people that do it, but I personally would never talk shit about a child, except for mine, I talk shit about them all the time.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’ll criticize them.
            Fuckin’ A right I will.

            It’s wrong.

            Wrong as fuck.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Okay, I see where the Barron stuff is coming from.
            (reference upthread).
            I think there comes a time in Open Threads that when you’ve run out of things to say, one should leave.

            Kay, night all.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Sean Hannity is not my behavioral role model. YMMV.

          • Yr. Gma

            So your model of the way to behave toward presidential children is Sean Hannity?

          • janecita

            I’m not using him as a model, I’m only showing that the hypocrisy of the right it’s my reason to keep my mouth shut when other people talk shit about Barron. Btw, I said it three times already, I don’t criticize kids.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            ^^^this^^^

        • Alan

          Recipe for sociopathy. Look at the rest of the family.

          • MynameisBlarney

            I think his mom is trying as best she can.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            I do too. And I have few good things to say about his mom. But that’s one of them.

          • janecita

            If she was such a great mom, she would have left Trump a long time ago, for her kid’s sake.

          • MynameisBlarney

            Maybe she can’t.

          • Alan

            Hope that’s true for his sake but I’m not sure what she can do with that shitshow.

          • doktorzoom

            Really, leave little kids out of it. And please review the rules.

            — Dok Zoom, Yr Friendly Neighborhood Comments Moderator

        • MynameisBlarney

          I feel bad for the kid though.
          He can’t choose his parents.

    • janecita

      Baby Jedi killer, definitely.

      • Claire

        I really would like to believe that he’s redeemable, but heredity is a force not to be trifled with. My family has been moderately randomized instances of the same base for like five hundred years.

        • mancityRed6

          oh dog no, he owns the 666 plaza. how can it be not in your face?

          • “M”

            damien

    • mancityRed6

      her clothes have already said…this is me, made in china

    • ariel_gee_398

      He’s an Arsenal fan, he’s too far gone.

    • Yr. Gma

      How many people do you know who grew up despising what their parents stood for and rebelled? That describes just about all my friends. I have hope for little Barron.

      • Claire

        A lot, honestly. Plus he has his Village of the Damned older siblings as a warning.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      AT least he knew what to do when the Star Spangled Banner played, unlike his idjit Dad.
      I’ll hold out hope. Poor kid. He absolutely never looks happy.
      Not even an evil grin a la his older siblings.
      One thing I will say for Melania, I’ve never seen any evidence to contradict that she’s a completely devoted mother.

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Who chose to breed with and remain married to a clinical sociopath who only shows affection to his children when they do his bidding by inflicting evil on the world. Unlike a lot of women in shitty situations, doing the best for their kids without a pot to pee in and nowhere to go, she has options.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Maybe she didn’t realize how horrible he is until she was so deeply invested she can’t just up and leave.

          I know I’ve ragged on her myself, but for fucks sake, her facial expression during the inauguration…either she’s a brilliant actor, or she’s living a nightmare that we can’t even imagine.

          I’m giving her and her son the benefit of the doubt.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Donnie’s been a lying, sleazy sociopath his whole life. He didn’t start the day after their wedding. She is, by most accounts, no dummy, and if I am to believe that, then I have to believe she knew exactly who she chose to marry. I don’t go out of my way to snark on her, because she’s trying to remain a private figure, but if she wants Barron to grow up as a normal kid, she ought to get him the fuck away from his dad as far and as fast as possible. His track record with children is not an encouraging one.

          • MynameisBlarney

            But you’re assuming she knew that going in.

            I’m not so sure.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            How could she be a sentient human being and not know it? That simply furthers a narrative of another brainless, helpless woman who is only capable of choosing what a man tells her to do.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            I agree with always on this. Unless she’d been living under a rock after moving to the US, she had to know his past.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            I read an article about her family. By all accounts, she married a man very much like her own father.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            My father was not a good person. My Mom, who is, stayed with him for years, because she thought that was the right thing to do. It’s not that easy.

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            THIS. It’s not that easy without kids. It gets even tougher when kids are in the picture.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            I know it’s not easy. I grew up with a human wrecking ball of a father and a mother who was too broke, uncertain about the future, and desperately clinging to whatever fragile sense of security she had to leave. Melania does not face these dire choices. Maybe she really loves him, maybe she doesn’t see the nasty little vipers his other children have grown to be. There are a million women who make brave, perilous choices in far with far more horrifying possible consequences than anything she might face. If she values the money, lifestyle, status, and gold plating more than the soul of her child, I’ve got little sympathy for her.

          • Think of it this way:
            Considering how these people feel about women, it is not only likely but very probable and there is some circumstantial evidence to suggest (ie, daddy getting moniez from Trum-pee) that she was sold into marriage. She supports her family, and only the men have any autonomy over anything. Including the women.

            I think I can drum up a metric shit ton of sympathy myself.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            If that’s the case, then me too. But I haven’t seen that evidence. For all I know she’s a sociopath. Or a woman who won’t move into the White House to keep her son away from Donnie. I simply don’t know. I’ve had friends and family in abusive relationships, and while financial survival is a huge factor, it’s not the only one. If she really is sacrificing her son for her own personal wealth, then I will be as judgy as you wish. But I’d like to see some proof first.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Why can’t you just be as reflexively judgmental as I am?

          • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

            Maybe Barron is insanely devoted to his dad in private and/or she thinks any father figure in his life is better than none at all?

            I’ve seen time and again where logic goes out the window when kids are concerned.

            Hell, when any intimate relationship is concerned.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            Life is complicated. But life is slightly less complicated when you won’t face poverty, death threats, and shelter living if you leave your husband. The problems of the prodigiously affluent are different than mine and yours.

          • Hemp Dogbane

            My women friends who have left did so on their own schedule, usually into poverty. I always wanted them to leave sooner, but leaving a controlling sociopath isn’t easy, and my being controlling about their timetable seems like a problem. That’s why I cut Melania some slack.

        • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

          Well, I can’t really disagree with you on any of this. I’ve said many of the same things about her myself.

          • alwayspunkindrublic

            It’s not that I don’t feel a bit sorry for her. I just feel a lot sorrier for women who face poverty, homelessness, and physical threats if they choose to leave. And I do feel sorry for Barron.

      • Begin Anew Day

        He’s the youngest. He and Tiffany are OUTSIDERS to the older siblings because they are the fruit of “those bitches who wrecked our happy home.”

        All he is missing is a nice mop of red hair on his head and paperwork certifying he was adopted.

    • wait! what?
      • h4rr4r

        That could have made him Vader, but he still just came off as a murderous loser.

        • C4TWOMAN

          And narratively it made no sense beyond “and now I plan to be EVIL …for no good reason than the plot requires it”.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      The Dalai Lama gig may be available soon and dad is the greatest negotiator ever. But the kid will never get a US visa.

    • A_Changeling

      I think if Barron is autistic (and I know I shouldn’t speculate, but I have “atypical autism” myself), and to me he seems to be, he might grow up to be his own person. Autists don’t pick up the habits of their families as easily as others. I’ve known autists who speak and behave like they grew up somewhere completely different.

      • Claire

        That’s a good point. Sometimes people are saved by their complete inability to be socialized into their family’s values.

        • A_Changeling

          It’s an odd blessing.

          • C4TWOMAN

            There are pluses and minuses.
            Plus: don’t internalize crazy
            Minus: delayed socializing

            A very mixed blessing.

          • A_Changeling

            In my case I understood how my family worked (and I still have the same values) but not the outside world. So delayed socialization anyway.

          • C4TWOMAN

            In my case I ignored crazy shit, developed my own values based on people I respected and what made sense to me, which at least gets you points with educators for being logical. Socialization was hit and miss.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF
  • mancityRed6
  • Yr. Gma

    Some history: Wonkette got in big trouble some years back (before the takeover of Donna Rose, Boss of You, for snarking about little Trig Palin. Picking on kids is not cool. Why don’t we knock off the snark for Barron? Do you remember when you were 10 years old? Would you have wanted to be held responsible for your parents’ actions then? Little Barron did not choose to be born into that family. When he’s an adult and if he turns out like his brothers, then we can throw stuff at him but not until then.

    • Rick Hill

      Can we just throw extra stuff at the rest of the family?

      • C4TWOMAN

        Yes, absolutely.

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      All the upfists. He’s a child FFS.

    • mancityRed6

      can I still pick on the family, then?

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Ron Reagan Jr turned out pretty cool.

      • snark-lurker

        rare exception—kids raised by shitty peeps may turn out differently, but they still turn out etc.

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          His sister, Patty, had her moments before saying fuck this shit, which is cool too.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Yeah, I thought we’d settled that when Rosie screwed up re:autism…

      • Rick Hill

        I did think that was unfair. She seemed to be saying that if he was autistic then trum could use his platform to bring attention to helping autistic children or something. The howling monkeys jumped on her because trumpbots.

        • C4TWOMAN

          That was a factor, but Rosie should have known better considering the political climate. They’ll turn any tea cup into a tempest so why give them an excuse?
          This is why I’m not as chuffed for her playing Bannon on SNL. She’s gotta tune her political savvy better. Remember when she was caught up in the 911 truther movement? Ugh…

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Wait? Wot? That’s her in the Grim Reaper costume?

          • C4TWOMAN

            No, no. She offered to play Bannon, but they went with the Grim Reaper gag.

          • Rick Hill

            Not talking about something in order to not agitate an abusive type? Better that more people stand up for her than just bow before the screeching, poop throwing hordes.

          • C4TWOMAN

            Except she didn’t need to talk about it. At least she didn’t NEED to include Barron. It’s called picking your battles.

          • Rick Hill

            Yeah but she wasn’t in the fray of anything. We should, aside from common civility or decency, weigh everything we say when the conservatards might jump on it and go apeshit?

          • C4TWOMAN

            “Yeah but she wasn’t in the fray of anything.”

            That’s my point you are misrepresenting. She didn’t need to say anything on that issue, much less drag Barron into it.

            We say something when it’s needed regardless of whether the howling mob objects.

            When it’s not needed we weigh whether or not it’s worth the trouble. Including a kid, for no good reason, is never worth the trouble.
            Other things might be.

            Have a good evening.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Well, there is a history between Rosie and DJT. So maybe she shouldn’t have said anything. It had already leaked that DJT calls him “the retard”. His mom has been really protective of Barron. And I don’t blame Melania one bit for keeping herself and her baby in NY. Probably the first breathing room that they have had for some time.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Who is snarking on Barron? Where? I’d report that shit.

      • C4TWOMAN

        I’m not sure it that cut/dry. I think its sneering asides. Nothing outright flag worthy. Someone can correct me if I’m wrong….

    • Vincent Ricola

      Uday and Qusay provide more than enough material for my snarking needs.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        And Ivanka more than any of them, for being the most publicly complicit.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • jesterpunk
  • Anna Rompage

    90 minutes to go 13 miles

    90 minutes TO GO 13 miles

    90 MINUTES TO GO 13 MILES!!!!

    Arrrggggggghhhhh!!!!!!

    For fucks sake I could have speed walked home in the amount of time it took me to drive….

    I am home now, powered down two potent IPAs, got the gill going, and am finally winding the fuck down!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Geez Louise, glad you can relax now anyway.

    • Suttree

      I shall give you the little saying that goes with my avatar.” It always can get worse, shut up and drink!”

    • Yr. Gma

      Sounds familiar. LA traffic.

    • snark-lurker

      we assume you are de-pantsed by now

    • Hemp Dogbane

      A hot bath with a Prince sexy playlist by Har Mar Superstar on my phone. All is well.

      • Anna Rompage

        I might take a bath this evening if I don’t end up too buzzed…

        Nobody wants to die of drowning in the bathtubs due to intoxication…

        Not to mention, my adult toy stash is still around, and nobody clearing out my belongings wants to find that

        • Hemp Dogbane

          This is why the snorkle was invented.

        • Hemp Dogbane

          I think finding something a bit scandalous does the survivors good and helps in their bereavement.

          • snark-lurker

            “bereavement” was side-eye read “basement” before my brain caught up

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Oooh. XD

        • snark-lurker

          adult toys? are we talkin power tools here? 4x4s, boat or wut?

    • C4TWOMAN

      That is horrible. Once we returned from the coast, a half hour trip, but we came back a different route that went by a casino.
      Two. Fucking. Hours.
      I wanted to kill something.

      • Anna Rompage

        Me too! There were a couple moments where I was tempted to drive on the sidewalk

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      This is why I can’t fucking wait for self-driving cars. 1) They will use freeway space much more efficiently than humans and 2) I can read or take a nap in such a situation.

      Really I’d prefer a super efficient public transportation system, but that ain’t happening any time soon in any place that covers much space to speak of.

  • Picabo

    I am an old. Lived through Watergate. It takes time. Time and pressure. We’ll get throught this.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9J7Z5BFAvoY

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      I just don’t want to find myself crawling thru sewers to seek freedom.

    • Poly_Ester

      14 Months from inauguration to impeachment, if memory serves (no warranties, espressed or implied).

    • Yr. Gma

      Yep. I think maybe in some ways it’s easier for us Oldz because we remember how long it takes to take down a president.

    • yyyaz

      I hate to rain on the parade, but 43 years ago there were such things as moderate Republicans, and even an occasional “liberal” one. The pigs now controlling everything are 3, maybe 4, standard deviations to the right of what was then considered “conservative.”

      • Yes, but, they all share one trait that can be used to the advantage of actual justice; an incredible liking for their own hide.

        • Résistance Land Shark Ω

          We should never underestimate the ability for congressional shitweasels to rat out anyone to protect their own asses.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The current GOP were the crazy aunt they kept in the attic.

  • Résistance Land Shark Ω

    A WikiLeaks prosecution would endanger the future of US journalism

    If the Trump Justice Department follows through on its threat, make no mistake: next time it won’t be a publisher you don’t like, it will be the newspaper that Trump doesn’t like – likely the one you read every day. So stick up for WikiLeaks’ rights – or the New York Times, Washington Post or Guardian could be next.

    FUCK OFF, Jefferson Beauregard Sessions, III

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Wouldn’t mess with Editrix, DOJ. As De Niro would say, she knows things and has friends.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Donna Rose would wipe the floor with them using her lethal, weaponized side eye.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          Then she’d hit them on the heads with her lantern.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Recently someone indicated this was why Obama didn’t go after wikileaks. Now I’m seeing why the Trumpanzeese could use this as a precedent….

    • Is wikileaks news though? Seems to me they made up quite a few things, and skewed a bunch of others.
      I would suggest they fall more under “propaganda” and “not journalism” myself.

      However, it is a good point regardless. The problem is not with the leaking, it is with the corruption.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        I suggest that this is a squirrel. The US DOJ has no case to make here, and I’d be surprised if any right thinking judge would issue a warrant for Assange’s arrest. However, I do see why Trümpenstien wants him arrested: it would set off a precedent of pursuing the press.

        Let him rot. And Donnie? You’re going down … it’s not “if,” it’s “when.”

    • Suttree

      The point seems to be to take any leaking, and make it a prosecutable offense. The only thing to be gained by this is to silence any leakers in the government (I have not read it but I would assume that there is something in there about taking away whistle-blower rights.)

      • It’s a silly thing to attempt. History has proven so very many times that when you try to silence leakers, you get more leaks.
        Best thing to do would be to not steer your ship into the rocks in the first place.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          That has already happened. More and more leaks for Trump, the more they try to suppress them.

          • If there is not already, someone needs to make a cartoon with Trum-pee as the little dutch boy trying to stick his finger in the dyke, but his fingers are too stuby and small to reach.

  • mancityRed6
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Hey Cally. :)

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Hi there!

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Carter Page is road kill. He’s done.

      Now let’s see who he rats out to save his own ass.

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        Here’s hoping it will be all of them, Katie.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • proudgrampa

    Probably done already, but yesterday WAS 4/20.

    https://youtu.be/m-XjqhraW0Q

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      fucking brilliant.

  • Considering all the sexist clap trap by both the right AND the left during this last election, it would be absolutely cosmic justice if A Lady brought the clown puppet down.
    Good.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    It should be noted that there is another view about the CNN story posted by me just below:

    https://twitter.com/TrueFactsStated/status/855544848945991681

    • Good evening and goodnight Cally. Damn time zones….

    • Résistance Land Shark Ω

      Let’s see what Carter Page has to say spill when he’s indicted.

  • MynameisBlarney

    I’m gonna call it a night before I say things I can’t take back.

    later.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ Have a Good ‘;un Blarney

    • proudgrampa

      Chow, baby.

    • :snuggle:

  • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

    OT: The Pavarotti family is PISSED that Donnie lied about his relationship with the singer and the family actually cannot stand Trump.

    http://www.politicususa.com/2017/04/21/repulsed-pavarotti-family-busts-trump-lying-friendship-deceased-tenor.html

    • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

      GOOD. Thank you for posting this, I was wondering how they were feeling.

    • Suttree

      As does everyone else he name checks.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      … Venice to Florence, from Verdi to Pavarotti.
      Pretty sure he thought the first 3 names were hookers from Atlantic City in the ’80s before the speech.

  • mancityRed6
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    For the future of American democracy, I fucking hope so:

    https://twitter.com/funder/status/855470799637143556

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      There’s a closed hearing first, not that I expect any of it to surprise the GOP.

    • Rick Hill

      Setting the stage for when they want to remove him. After they get their wish list filled and the base turns on him.

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        Their wish list is working out so well for them. So far, they’re 0 for 4.

  • Roni Raven, Just Microwavin’

    PSA. Someone posted this downthread but I will post again.
    Whatever you do, do NOT go to wikileaks. It’s in Russian hands. I’m not techie enough to explain but they can get some of your information that way.

    • Rick Hill

      It’s a grave matter, indeed. If the Russians get their hands on the weaponized snark available at the Wonk sekrit labs then the world as we knew it is over. Again.

      • that made me legit snicker, and over what is probably a legit concern XD GOOD JOB RICK

        • Rick Hill

          Most people just don’t realize how funny I am…

          • I needed the friday laugh. It has been a day, that ended in y.

    • Picabo

      Go to your local public library and ask if the computers are frozen. Yes, frozen computers are a thing,
      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deep_Freeze_(software)

      • jesterpunk

        I keep an old windows XP and windows 3.1 virtual machine around for sketchy sites or calls from “microsoft”. Too bad I have never had a call from “microsoft”.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          I have a Windows 7 Netbook for deep work. I have loaded my mac and phone with all kinds of bells and whistles for the daily use protections.

          • jesterpunk

            I dont use windows for much of anything, mainly use a macbook or a linux system. The only windows things are those 2 virtual machines and those are snapshotted, used then restored to the snapshot right away.Nothing gets saved to the virtual machines at all.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            Smart.

          • jesterpunk

            I work with big complicated unix systems all day at work and I am so used to using the unix terminal session and command line for everything and never even seeing the GUI for the systems. So to get some things done after work I use the command like too, mac and linux both have a functional bash terminal built in where you can do just about everything you need. Windows command line looks more like someone tried make a command line but they had never seen a functioning useful command line before and couldnt figure out how to make one work. Sure there are things like bash in windows 10 or cygwin but those are not native and are still kind of thrown in there.

  • Nounverb911
  • Begin Anew Day

    “…the folks squatting in the White House right now…”

    I believe the younger folks used to say “Oh Snap!” when something like this would get written or spoken.

    I cannot pretend to know what new exclamation is used nowadays when something clever and stinging gets written or spoken.

    But I have to LOL for “White House Squatters”. I just gotta.

    Thank you Mr. Hurst.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I do believe it is “Ya’ Burnt!”

      • Begin Anew Day

        Thanks. The only way to keep up is to rely upon Wonkette and it’s army of resistance.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          ~curtseys~

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Who says Donald hasn’t gotten anything done in his first 100 days?

    https://twitter.com/brianklaas/status/855379308709384192

    • Shoto

      #Winning!

  • mancityRed6
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Good Night, mancity. :)

    • Anna Rompage

      Good night! Pleasant dreams of taco trucks on every corner!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Good night, my little honeysuckle.

  • bluicebank

    May 2, huh? Isn’t that the day after May Day, based on the ancient Roman bacchanal celebrating the goddess of flowers? Will we be too hungover to follow the live stream?

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Turns out she’s going to be scheduled after May 2–we’ll be fine.

  • LadyLaz

    Ooooo

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot
    • boyblue122

      Jeff Sessions is going to personally take on each and every case lodged against the Trump regime

      • jesterpunk

        I thought that was Jared’s job right after he solved the middle east?

        • boyblue122

          He’ll let Jeff Sessions take some of the credit this time i guess ;)

    • proudgrampa

      No shit, Sherlock.

    • Rick Hill

      You mean, no attorneys gave money to trump’s campaign and are now US attorneys? No ambulance chasers? Personal injury lawyers? divorce attorneys? What a surprise…

      • Little more worried it means they plan to ax the Justice department, along with education, interior, EPA….etc….

        • Rick Hill

          Yeah but that’s not funny….

          (wait for it)

        • boyblue122

          Theyll never ax the justice dept. They need the funds to fight off all those lawsuits filed against Drumpf

          • Mmmm but it would not be difficult to turn it from “Justice” to “Trump Protection”

          • Lord Jim

            JD does not represent the preznit personally. He may consult with the White House Counsel on matters pertaining to his office, but for criminal or civil matters directed against him as an individual, he still gots to have his own lawyer.

  • boyblue122

    In news that should shock no one..

    Florida Ethics Commission concludes: No probable cause in Bondi-Trump bribery complaint

    A state ethics panel on Friday decided not to look further into a complaint against Attorney General Pam Bondi over her solicitation of a campaign donation from President Donald Trump in 2013.

    Bondi personally asked Trump for a campaign donation in August 2013. Trump’s charity, the Trump Foundation, issued a $25,000 check to her political committee the following month.

    • proudgrampa

      No surprise here…

      • Résistance Land Shark Ω

        ya … Florida.

    • No fret, Bondi, your time will come.
      History proves this.

    • cmd resistor

      We have an ethics panel down here?

  • Panika MCD

    Austin PD and the FBI pretty much saved my life and the lives of all the other Pink Dome denizens.

    http://www.mystatesman.com/news/fbi-austin-man-with-guns-plotted-mass-shooting-for-50th-birthday/yf7w65IouDL2PXrugAXEVK/

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Oh my Goodness I’m glad they stopped him!

    • Those charges stem from a 1993 misdemeanor conviction in Connecticut for domestic violence in which Boehle slapped, choked and bit his girlfriend.

      WHY THE FUCK WAS THAT A MISDEMEANOR, CONNECTICUT????

      • Panika MCD

        CT has a way of fucking things up and then pretending like it’s everyone else’s fault.

        exhibit a: Shrub was born in CT and went to college there.

        exhibit b: Joe Lieberman.

  • Serai 1
    • Chris

      Thank you.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      Keep in mind that THIS is the guy that Fox will likely replace Bill O’Reilly with.

      • boyblue122

        BillO was a Drumpf favorite though. Will he listen to this guy as much

        • He will listen to whom he is told to listen

          • boyblue122

            But wasnt he best buds with BillO in real life

          • I honestly doubt he remembered his name 5 seconds after any given interview.
            I am willing to put money down on it being a fact that his aides had to remind him of who he was before he went on.

        • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

          From what I understand, Tucker kisses Donnie’s butt even more than Hannity.

    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      Tucker Carlson also thought that the Sons of the Serpent, a literal white supremacist group in Marvel comics that has been around for years, was a recent invention designed to stereotype right wingers and white people.

    • Suttree

      Looking at the comments on blightfart last night. Tucker, Malkin, Coulter are the true conservatives and Lou Dobbs.. Billo was apparently left of center. This is the center of purity as of last night. Billo was a centrist?! Let that sink in.
      Edited for Lou Dobbs clarity.

      • ya know…until Billo got shit canned for admitting he liked himself some dark meat, they thought everything was totes untrue and unfair and he was a True Believer (TM)

        It is really weird that after all the years of accusations, payouts, etc, it is now they turn on him.

        • Suttree

          We shall add that to his epitaph.

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          He never partook of that dark meat, just harassed it like it was pure white breast and that can’t stand.

          • Suttree

            I know he was even worse to a black woman.

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            You know that and I know that…

          • Suttree

            You do remember my history right?

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        BRB, throwing up.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        These things shaped like people that post on Britebart are so fucking stupid that they are beyond parody.

      • BillO is a a centrist of sexism and crazy

        • Suttree

          It’s not like he raped anyone on air! Centrist douchebag.

          • PT appt darling?

          • Suttree

            Not yet sweetheart.

          • Lizzie gonna be mad when she gets back from crazy Tx

          • Suttree

            I await my reprimand. Maybe spanking will be involved.

          • Jonny On Maui

            That’s only if you’ve been good…

          • Suttree

            But I’m always so bad!

          • Suttree

            Because that PT appt that I cannot get isn’t going to do shit! I have dental, colonoscopy, and urology apptmnts right now. Thank you for reminding me though. You may remind me again. I’m just stuck right now. I am more worried about next weeks food.

          • Do i need to send you food? I’m sure USPS will mistake it for terrorism and blow it up though

          • Suttree

            Yes.

      • Contemplative Ron

        Someone just defenestrated the Overton Window.

        • Suttree

          Haha! That Is perfect! Billo is a centrist………..

  • LiPao

    Alan Bates knew Donnie was coming eventually and went where any sane person would.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcv_EJpQzT4

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Money laundering? What, you don’t like your money spic-and-span?

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Follow the money…

    • Rick Hill

      You can bet it’s being tracked, someone is, at the time they choose, going to torpedo trump. They really act as though they will never be caught

    • boyblue122

      Look to the Bank of Cyprus

    • Suttree

      Can you see my shocked face from here? :/

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

  • I am currently Wonking from bed catching up on Chris and Rachel from tonight before i have toget up at the ASSCRACK of dawn to get to the Toronto Science March.

    • Little Doll–MOAMF

      I finally cooked dinner–after 8 p.m., but it’s done.

      I hope you have a rabble-rousin’, inspired time tomorrow!

      • I am hoping to. If i manage to get there as TO has decided to shut down the main ramp into downtown off the highway this weekend.

        • Little Doll–MOAMF

          Ack!

          • Only thing all of Canada agrees on: Toronto Sucks. #sciencefact

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            But it’s the only place in Canada I ever got to see! :(

          • Reximus
          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Oooh. So pretty, and water! In South Dakota we don’t see a whole lot of that. My friend’s Dad just moved out there. She lives south of Toronto. She’ll be going to visit him in September.

          • Vienna Woods

            South of Toronto? That’s our necka the woods!

          • Indeed!

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            She’s always lived there. But she might be losing her house because they are extending the train lines where she lives and they want to put it right where she lives. She doesn’t know how she’s supposed to afford a different house, the prices are so high now.

          • KW?

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Sorry?

          • Kitchener-Waterloo? I know they’ve been doing GO Transit expansion like crazy the last couple of years

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Yes, I think so.

          • It’s a nice area (i visit a lot), but the home prices are looney tunes there

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Yeah, her sister just sold her house and there was an instant bidding war for it.

          • The commute into TO isn’t insane from there, so it’s popular as a TO suburb….that is a solid 1.5 hrs from downtown Toronto

          • Reximus

            I will never think of KW as a suburb of Toronto…but it will be soon

          • It is for crazy people.

          • Contemplative Ron

            Barrie is a suburb of Toronto. Oshawa is a suburb of Toronto. The damned place grows like kudzu.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Speaking of kudzu, I found out it’s edible. So no one still alive in the Walking Dead should ever have had to go hungry.

            Sorry. Just…thought of that. Yeah. *stops now*

          • Reximus

            yeah the neighbor across the road (east Toronto area) put her house on the mkt this monday at 799K, it sold today for 1.15mil

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Whoa!

          • ltmcdies

            nuts isn’t it.

          • Reximus

            yup, nice house but small and only 1 w/c

          • ltmcdies

            Lower Mainland/Victoria is creeping towards those prices….

          • Yr. Gma

            As I know. I keep looking for that little place in Victoria. If Gpa doesn’t make up his mind, we’ll be priced out.

          • Vienna Woods

            Heavens, I didn’t know they were extending trains anywhere. They’ve been taking them out everywhere else. Oh wait, unless she’s in Kitchener with the new rail sysyem.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            I think that’s it. Sorry, she’s an internet friend and I know she’s told me the exact town at least once, but I can’t quite remember it. I just know she’s south of Toronto, but not far south.

            Now they want to buy her house, but not for what she’d need to get to buy another.

          • Vienna Woods

            We usually say south-west, because South puts you in Lake Ontario.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            LOL, true. OK

          • And then we would all look like Blinky

          • Contemplative Ron

            VIA Rail is cutting trains, but GO Transit is expanding as fast as it can. I wouldn’t be surprised to see them take over all passenger traffic in the Corridor. They’re already putting trains back in places that haven’t seen a passenger train in 50 years.

          • I can’t wait. Via is fucking expensive and dowsn’t run often enough

          • Contemplative Ron

            Hang on, south of Toronto is the middle of Lake Ontario…

          • Vienna Woods

            Keep reading.

          • Contemplative Ron

            Ah, I have been preceded!

          • ltmcdies

            I didn’t mind Toronto…Winnipeg on the other hand

          • You mean Winterpeg?

          • Vienna Woods

            Gah – the mosquitoes!

          • ltmcdies

            and the black flies….need instructions from the tower to land

          • Have you ever met deer fly? Those fuckers are evil

          • snigsy

            Hey!

          • tapp_my_wire,please

            At least you guys don’t have Tulsa.

          • Contemplative Ron

            It’s the one thing that brings the whole country together – English and French, Atlantic and Prairies, far north and south.

    • Vienna Woods

      There’s one in London, also, too.

      • They didn’t confirm quickly enough for me, i had already confirmed to assist with the TO one, but i had to back out of that today when Geeyhound wouldn’t let me change my ticket to an earlier bus so i didn’t miss stuff by being late from the DVP closure

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURJDToKA0k&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyyg2xGkWCAkeBlscomEi1Fn&index=40

    I didn’t even go for a walk today, so I’s shakin’ it to upbeat songs. It’s funny, I walked for miles and miles again this week, but dancing gets the burn going in my legs anyway.

  • Reality Killswitch

    It’s all a false illusion. Not going to be more excited about bullshit articles like this.

    • illusions tend to shatter when looked at through a purple filter

      • Reality Killswitch

        Purple filters are cool.

        • Purple filters are the BEST filters

          • I’m partial to my red filter for shooting in B&W

          • Sorry, purple filters are the best filters. Says so on the internet.

          • Reality Killswitch

            Red filters are for submarines, Pickwick!

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Load Mk.48 ADCAP, tubes 1 and 2. Weps, report when you have a Solution!

          • Reality Killswitch

            Indeed. Jen, stop changing your name because at this point I have a hard time telling who you are!

          • You do realize you saying that is tantamount to telling me to go change my name since now it seems like an order and I have to go prove I am the boss of me by not paying it any mind.
            Unless that is what you planned all along, knowing that my gut reaction would be to chafe against the imperative and do the opposite. But then I would know that you know, and therefore counter your pre-emptive attempt to have me not do your bidding by doing your bidding.

            Hang on, gonna need a work sheet for this one.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This is how the top brass at the NYPD say “bitch, please:”

    https://twitter.com/NYPDnews/status/855540741589934081

    • Phoenixdoglover

      Radical Islamic Terrorism! Numbers, be gone!

      • ltmcdies

        there’s that damn math again.

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
    • Panika MCD

      he made a swamp and has evicted one swamp monster from it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • ltmcdies

      it really is telling….

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Things like this make me wish I had sympathy for her.

  • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

    I don’t expect any other Wonkers to know this, but I’ve been playing a new mobile game called Yugioh Duel Links recently. I’ve been enjoying it, but I can’t help but notice that Bandit Keith, the one American character in the series who cheats to win, talks suspiciously like Donald Trump. “They rigged it against me!”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/cc7892a46b6058bda7435ba6b91835f6453501cd002a6c73e5d876031c3ab64b.png

    • HA! This wonker knows it!
      Oldest spawn plays it on his phone ALL THE TIME.
      Like whoa.

  • Reality Killswitch

    No more, Jen. Eve 6 (I am a 90’s guy to dead) is my song band to you. Think Twice! No more!!! Hahaha!

    • Jen no more is the name of my next fusion rock-a-funk band.

      • Reality Killswitch

        Sounds sort of like Jane’s Addiction! Hahaha

      • Reality Killswitch

        Call yourself, Jen the hot girl, the hot scientist, the body. Just something! The hot grandma maybe?!

        • I got skillz. I can slap my forehead without using my hands!

          • Reality Killswitch

            Sounds like Donnie. Cool.

          • I need to learn to cartoon sketch. I wanna do a lil dutch boy Donnie cartoon with him trying to plug up all the leaks but his fingers being too short.

          • Reality Killswitch

            Donnie dude always sound pretty cool. Later!

          • ltmcdies

            that would rock….

      • Jenny

        You can take my band name. Jen and the Thirsty Butts! Top 40 guaranteed!

  • Picabo
  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Politics aside, if her personality is anything like her Twitter feed (I don’t watch CNN enough to judge her by that), this is the one Republican I’d have a beer with:

    https://twitter.com/ananavarro/status/855413858718101504

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Love Ana. On Maher’s show, she swears like a sailor and likes to say ‘pussy’ on CNN.

    • She’s got ovaries of steel

    • …I am very very very very very sure there are laws and stuff about not accepting money from foreign peoples, including corporate peoples, including corporate peoples owned by dictators…no?

      • boyblue122

        someone has to enforce those laws and it sure isnt going to be the republican party in power

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Yes.

    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      She’s one of the few republicans I actually like. Along with Mike Nelson from MST3K. He is reasonable at least too.

      • …Mike is a Republican?

        • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

          From what I’ve heard him say, yeah. He outright says he votes republican usually and reads the National review.

          • I knew there was a reason I always liked Joel better…..
            Though I can’t lie and say I do not like Mike XD

          • I liked Joel much better-he just had a slacker/doofus vibe that I found amusing. Mike was okay but I hate R’s so I won’t be looking at him the same way again.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I give Mike some credit for keeping that separate from his role on the show.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            Politics aside, I think Mike is a better on-camera performer, whereas Joel is stronger in conception and writing.

          • I can go with that. Joel is obviously not an actor XD Though Mike’s smile sorta always bugged me a lil, even though his dimples are a-dor-ables

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Agreed.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Yes. He belongs to some weird church sect as well. He hardly ever curses, which made it *really* funny when he dropped an F Bomb in the Rifftrax of Shatner’s “Kingdom of the Spiders”. XD

      • WomanInThePersistence

        There’s a funny Republican? Whatever next?

        • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

          Well Arnold tends to be pretty funny too, albeit unintentionally.

          “GET TA DA CHOPPA!”

        • Ω cynmac will never surrender

          Robert Downey Jr is a Republican. No lie.

    • ltmcdies

      she usually the first to tweet out what’s happening in Central/America with is good because sometimes other sources are a wee bit slow.

    • Rick Hill

      Like a Pokemon, trump has to grift ’em all.

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        Good one!

  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Memphis businessman acquitted of rape in trial where defense attorney stated that women were good at lying because they are “the weaker sex”.

    “[Prosecutors] didn’t want you to see the top, because it was a halter top. It was a sexy top. It was a contraption. She knew where she was going. She knew what she was doing,” Farese said during trial.

    • …. :k
      Tennessee, fuck off.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Evan’s town deserves better FFS.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      If males cannot control themselves in the presence of attractive women, then perhaps they should spend their lives in chains.

      • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

        Men: Women are so weak, emotional and lack self control and discipline!

        Also men: Well guys just can’t control themselves. Boys will be boys. Just don’t wear short skirts and you won’t get raped.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          *nods* Indeed.

        • LiPao

          “Men are jerks.
          Women are psychotic.”
          –Kilgore Trout

      • Suttree

        I have put my hand on a leg and/or a back at a drunken bar before. If there was nothing, I took my hands away, and continued to converse. If the conversation went no where, oh well. But the normalizing of what I did at a bar at 2am, is not right in the workplace.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Exactly. I’m a flirt, and I like attention. If I’ve got chemistry with someone, a hand on the leg or whatever is a good thing. But that situation, where we all are looking for that connection, is not he same as the workplace or just daily life.

          • Suttree

            I was once asked to stop. I stopped. No matter how high or drunk we were. Then I grabbed a boob, and she said stop, and I stopped. And I was in my own bed with her! I stopped! Drunk as fuck! I stopped! Fuck rapists to the deepest level of hell! Then we went to sleep. We woke up in the morning and she went to her place. I wound up dating her for a few years.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~ You’re a real man, Suttree, that’s the difference.

          • Suttree

            All it took was the ration mind to take over the reptile mind. Also too, great parents. They taught me right from wrong.

            As my father beat me.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~

          • Ω cynmac will never surrender

            My BF and I were drunk on our first night and he was concerned about consent. And I had asked him earlier when I wasn’t drunk and I hadn’t changed my mind. We’ve been together 5 years.

          • Suttree

            Our experiences are different. None of us worked together!

          • Suttree

            Lizzie and I megt on at a Wonkette drinkie thing and went home together. I am a gentleman and will not say what happened. But it was wonderful and beautiful. It wasn’t some dickweed constantly harassing you at work!

    • Suttree

      JFC. I have read half of it. No fucking more! No fucuking more!

    • Panika MCD

      I cannot like. what the fuck?

    • Suttree

      I am not a violent man……. This fucker….fuck

      • Use some of that ire for the 12 good Americans who said yep, bitch was obvs askin fer it.

        • Suttree

          I still think about my last jury call.

          • My hubby and I try to set a good example for the spawn. Voting, jury duty, paying taxes, all those social civic duty things. They were right proud of Hubby for not “getting out of” his last jury duty, even though he easily could have considering who he works for.
            But then they picked someone else so he got a day off anyway.
            Figures.

          • Suttree

            You have to show up! I was actually in a position to watch this two week trial. But the questionnaire, I answered 1 question wrong.. I should have asked to talk to the judge. It was a double murder robbery trial.

          • Suttree

            We need good people on juries!

    • Alan

      More evidence that 12 stupid people off the street are always the best judge of guilt.

  • ltmcdies

    It’s not that often the Dairy Farmers of Alberta say “bitch..please” but that’s where we are in 2017

    https://twitter.com/AlbertaMilk/status/855501095870889987

    • vivian

      Don’t have a cow, Canada

      • ltmcdies

        and then there was …this…another “welcome to ‘Murca..now piss off” for a comic book artist

        https://twitter.com/HeatVisionBlog/status/855573647821488128

        • …..what even.

        • Resistance Fighter Callyson

          Oh, for fuck’s sake.

        • Maclare

          What? I follow Giselle’s independent stuff over on Trixie Pix, will have to check in there and see what’s​ up.

    • Vienna Woods

      God damn right. We’ll defend our hormone/antibiotic-free dairy to the death.

      • Damn straight!

      • ltmcdies

        “you can bring American milk over the border but you can’t make me drink it”

      • Rick Hill

        Or at least with a strongly worded letter to the editor…

        • Rick Hill

          Might even go all caps…at certain points. Not the whole thing, of course

        • Vienna Woods

          Let me tell you about the War of 1812 in SW Ontario…

          • ltmcdies

            And after that can we talk about those Fenian Raids just after the Civil War.

            spoiler alert…those didn’t work either

    • Panika MCD

      despite all appearances, milk is one of the few areas of policy that get a lot of people riled up.

      • ltmcdies

        I thought it was beef…Alberta practically disowned KD Lang due to her opinions on meat, didn’t they

      • People are friggin weird.

    • HazooToo

      I think it would have been better if they had actually concluded with “Bitch, please.” But I guess they’re too polite…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Nounverb911
    • Reality Killswitch

      Yup. My programming skills are taking their jobs. call and make me quit.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Not that any of us need to be reminded, but:

    https://twitter.com/kjoerwin/status/855556803861544962

  • Rick Hill

    Is it wrong to imagine this playing as a backdrop to a trump/Jong Un love story animation?
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7cSAKlu0OlU

    • jesterpunk

      Maybe, but only because David Bowie is too cool to be associated with either of those clowns.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    This will be me once Sally is scheduled to talk:

    https://twitter.com/blofmitten/status/855532535438340096

    • I am considering cancelling my shift at work…i may need to be on call but i want to watch this SO MUCH…..

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        It’s a closed hearing on 5/2. The real open hearing is later. Save your time.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Donald was warned about Flynn in January.
      Yet, he persisted.

  • alwayspunkindrublic

    They love my Mollywog so much at the Beer Emporium that when I don’t bring her along, they give me treats to take https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/8cf75af96c1e2d91c5e080a8dfccd66759218e5c12d466441cbbe21851e16702.jpg home with me to give to her when I get back.

    • Sweetie-pie :)

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Awwws. She’s a charmer. :)

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Who’s a good girl?

  • Rick Hill

    So…with all the grifts trump has going on. Is he going to do away with something like State or Education in order to create a new agency just to handle all those affairs and pay for plays?

    • Panika MCD

      I thought that’s why he didn’t divest.

  • Ω cynmac will never surrender

    This story originates in March and brings more light to what was going on in the WH then. Too much crazy to explain. You have to read it to believe it. A sweetner ~ The CIA calls the Flynn followers “Flynnstones”.
    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/04/cias-white-house-liaison-abruptly-fired-after-he-clashed-with-flynn-loyalist-in-cahoots-with-nunes/

    • Why the fuck do all these grifting con men have “followers” ?
      SRSLY RIGHTIES. You are no longer allowed to call us sheep. Ever.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s92smjLq_38&list=PLgA_QpnjZQyyg2xGkWCAkeBlscomEi1Fn&index=37&spfreload=1

    SRSLY, not only is Jack White a Gorgeous, uber-talented rock star fashion-forward Badass, his music is helping me stay calmer and think more clearly. I’ve mostly been listening to Jack since 6AM, and he’s helped me get through triggering things and just made it a great day. :)

  • Lord Jim

    Having a bit of a sad tonite, Because reasons, I googled “mainline Protestantism”. I’m United Methodist (mainline denom, currently the largest of the “Seven Sisters”) after a semi-fundy Southern Baptista childhood. When I came to a UM church and started looking into a bit of the history and hierarchy, I was delighted to find some good things. Well, mainstream Protestantism is dying a slow death of aging congregations whose children have been swelling the ranks of the “dones”. The “evangelical” churches (i.e. the new fundies) are growing. My feeling is that the world is seeming much more unsettled in the aftermath of WW2, and the liberal crust of intricate and nuanced critical biblical scholarship and philosophical theology wrapped around a gooey center of “let’s all get along and work together for good” is losing out to the fluffy padding of happy-clappy, feel-goody tent-revival enthusiasm surrounding a hard steel ball-bearing of arbitrary, rigid orthodoxies.

    It’s really bad in my part of the US, where the real cultural divide in the UM church finds the typical Methodist is often little different from the typical Baptist – many Methodists neither understand nor care about their own history or polity. When the Methodist Episcopal Church reunited with the MEC South in the thirties, it’s like two different churches were simply glued together, and the glue is drying out – Acceptance/marriage/ordination for LGBT congregants is how the rift is showing up in this time and place, and the pro-choice Methodists are losing ground to the “prolifers”. I’d probably feel much more at home in a church further north or in a metropolitan area, where UM churches are more “mainline” (more liberal), but that’s not currently an option. Should it become so, I pray that there are still mainline churches to go to. TINY glimmer of hope here, oddly. Or maybe God is just phasing out the institutional “church”, which I was just getting to enjoy. *Sigh* Sad now…

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I’m sorry for that Jim. My dad was Southern Baptist.

      But people like you prove that there are indeed Good Christians.

      • Lord Jim

        TY so much. Maybe God is trying to remind us that the “church” is not a building but a body of doers of the Word.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          That’s a good thought. It does seem even to me that things happen for a reason, even painful things.

          • Lord Jim

            I believe that the God above the universe is also the God IN the universe, struggling with us against pain, sorrow and death. God in Christ came to struggle with us and to not only help us to identify with God, but to help God identify with us. The story of Christ is the story of a God who wins not with force of arms, but by suffering and dying – “greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends”.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I truly wish there were more that believe the way you do Jim. Whether a god exists or not, you’re doing a great deal of good on this earth. :)

            ~hugs~

          • I honestly think that is the difference between an actual christian and a christianist.
            Jesus said so very many times, don’t talk, DO.
            They keep yappin. No one can explain it.
            Now, Jim’s doing the actual attempting to follow the actual words of the guy who is supposed to be the central figure in the entire thing.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            This, exactly. :)

          • Lord Jim

            WHO ORDERED THE ONION NINJAS?!

            Y’all are awesome.

          • :snuggle: Keep the faith, Jim. Community is not a building. It is souls working together for the good of all.

          • Lord Jim

            Amen.

          • Well. A woman. But close!

          • Lord Jim

            Aaaaaand…checkmate!

          • Had to. Whenever I get too serious I have the compulsion to throw in a bad joke.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            ~hugs~

          • Lord Jim

            *returnhug* :)

        • ltmcdies

          I like that.

        • Persistent Demme

          Well said.

      • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

        There was a Baptist church recently that had a sign that said “Satan was the first to demand equal rights”. I kid you not. Talk about crapping on the legacies of every LGBT activist, Abolitionist or Civil Rights marched who considered themselves a Christian.

        • Sheepshagger

          I’m with….Satan?

        • True Story: The entire Separation of Church and State in the colonies and so forth was originally to keep Anglicans from persecuting Baptists.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Yep. And the Congregationalists were also annoying the Baptists mightily.

          • Another True Fact for the fun of it: Taking religion out of schools was the work, mostly, of NYC Catholics because /protestant bibbles.

            It is so weird that the people who USED to scream for this stuff now want to impose their views on everyone else, eh?

          • Sheepshagger

            And the Catholics / hate the Protestants / And the Protestants hate the Catholics/ and the Hindus hate the Muslims/ and everyone hates the Jews.

            But during National Brotherhood Week…..

          • WomanInThePersistence

            I so love Tom Lehrer.

          • To be fair, I grew up Catholic, and I do not recall a single priest, or even a nun, speaking a single bad word about any other denomination or other religion, or even aesthetics.
            But…SE Philly, they had other things on their minds, and they may have been more progressive clergy

          • Lord Jim

            Unlike Southern Baptists, who regularly taught that the Catholic Church was the Whore of Babylon from Revelation. Ecumenism, how does it fucking work?!

          • Lord Jim

            I have long felt that separation of church and state is good for both state AND church. History teaches me that when churches gain temporal power, it usually does not go well. Remember, Israel was once a theocracy, and God finally let go of that.

        • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

          Not to mention it gets the story wrong? I always thought it was that Satan wanted to place himself above God, not equal?

          • Yeah they do not bible so good. It’s a really big book and it has all these words.

        • Lord Jim

          “Complementarian” Calvinists are taking over the SBC, as they are trying to stealthily seize power in other denoms.

        • Lord Jim

    • The studies I saw pointed that there is an overall decline in all religions, including the fundies. It makes sense that those that remain would become increasingly more fundamental.

    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      Christianity is….complicated. Especially in this nation where it has a history of being a tool used to beat other people over the brow with. Problem is many Christians don’t speak out about the bigoted leaders. This entire nation seems like it’s regressed even more over the last year or so. And I say that as a bisexual Catholic.

      • Sheepshagger

        Father McCarthy?

    • jowgajen

      Can I heartily recommend a good Unitarian Universalist congregation? Non-doctrinal, so it can by BYODoctrine if that suits you. All of the joy of a spiritual community with none (ok, a reduced dose) of the cruddy baggage. Plus good coffee!

      • Lord Jim

        Have seriously thought about it, but nearest UU church is over 100 miles away. And I really crave the celebration of Holy Communion in the Methodist tradition of “excluding none and welcoming all to find the grace they need at the table, because this is not our table, but the Lord’s table. :)

        • jesterpunk

          It might not be the same but can you get together with a few sane people and have your own service? I am not really religious so not sure if thats possible or not.

          • It is not only possible, it is pretty much precisely how Jesus told his followers to do things.
            Get together, chillax, commune. Everything else, man has added over time.

          • jesterpunk

            Sounds a lot better then the mega churches around me, they want $50k in donations per month to pay the mortgage on the $200 million building and try and make people feel guilty if they dont meet the goal, Then they want donations for other church leader things then after all of that they finally get around to the small donations to help the community which isnt much after everything else. They also put up things on the billboard outside saying thank job creators for your job on labor day.Those kind of places are why I dont go to church.

            But something where you just hang out and relax and talk wouldnt be so bad especially if they stopped hating everyone.

          • Lord Jim

            Megas are about the $ and the unchallenged power of a single, charismatic leader. A lot of abuse is happening there.

          • Lord Jim

            “House church”. I’d have to put out an ad “liberal Christian seeking like-minded for coffee and donuts.” Maybe they’d show up just to see a real, live liberal LOL! XD

          • jesterpunk

            Add in some BBQ and you should get a lot more people. 😀 But really if you can do that it might help you a little, there may be more liberal people around then you know. But good luck I do really hope you can find a church or group you can really be a part, the tradition sounds really good and a lot better then the mega churches or ones that forget its supposed to be about helping each other.

    • Panika MCD

      the Mormon church is still growing which subscribes to a lot of the liberal crust and nuanced critical babel scholarship and “let’s get along for the good, besides, you didn’t make the same promise to GODOT that I did so you’re not doing anything wrong by drinking coffee and having pre-marital sex” and, you know, magic underpants. besides, even though they’re technically Evangelical, the rest of the Evangelicals FUCKING HATE THEM mostly because of the “you do you” thing most of them subscribe to (not available in CA). there are even a bunch of them that are like, “well, if we could quit going to war and stuff, maybe the Prophet could query GODOT about the whole LGBT thing because I have a feeling we’re wrong on that one!”

      then there’s you guys and the UCC and Unitarians. and the Texas Baptists who split off from the Southern Baptists and are super liberal.

      fret not, dear one!

      • Lord Jim

        Had circumstances been a bit different and had I known more about the post-fundy-takeover SBC, I might now be part of the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship.

    • Persistent Demme

      I wish you could see how things are here in San Francisco, because then you would not be sad.
      There’s something for everyone here.

      • Lord Jim

        It really is a comfort to be reminded that there is a larger world out there, and it’s not totally mad. :)

    • HazooToo

      I was raised in a Methodist church, where everything was full of this sunlit quiet grace. That’s what I remember most about it. Every single place (apart from the basement arts & crafts room, which as I remember, was full of monsters that would grab you if you weren’t fast enough to run to the opposite end) was filled with sunlight. Even the hymns were sung with dignity and gentleness. And people listened to the sermons quietly, without interruption, and the sermons were not all about how wonderful God is and how forgiven we are! Sometimes they were even about ways we could be BETTER in our daily lives, live as Christians instead of just crowing about being saved. Acceptance was everything, and “Judge not” was a HUGE part of that. The only ones who were nasty were the “dragon ladies”, the older worshippers who sat in the back and judged everyone anyway. No one liked them, but everyone treated them with respect anyway. Then we left that church when we moved, and we never went to another until my Mom was ordained as a minister. She got her own church. They were fucking horrible people. Snobs and fearful of change, resentful of even the implication that they weren’t perfect. They fired her after a couple months. She became a Wiccan.

      • Lord Jim

        Christians, like Democrats, are excellent at shooting our own.

        • HazooToo

          Congregations are just far more prone to failing as one big group. Some members escape the downfall, but most end up trapped in the same backbiting mess of pride, jealousy and bigotry. It’s a shame, but according to the Bible, God encourages us to practice our faith in private, anyway. Maybe you should find a small group of Christians you get along with, and create a weekly bible study with just them.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Have to hit the road for a while. See anyone who is still here in a little over an hour!

    https://twitter.com/mmpadellan/status/855425727646375936

  • ltmcdies

    I’m playing a game …Where the Hell is the Carl Vinson…..not near NK

    https://twitter.com/annafifield/status/855423795401703424

    • Nounverb911
      • ltmcdies

        now I’ve spit wine all over my keyboard….

    • Anna Elizabeth

      I hope the aviator is OK. If Vinson is conducting Flight Operations, then this isn’t a fast transit to a crisis zone.

      • ltmcdies

        I hope he is too.

    • So they’re…getting there?

      • ltmcdies

        only a few more inches according to the map in the post

        • Just a finger breadth away!
          Or in Trump’s case, three finger breadths away!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Sort of. You don’t,cover distance if you’re doing Flight ops. Turning into the wind at 30 knots for launch and landing doesn’t cover distance.

        If we needed them off the DPRK nows, they’d secure flight and push at best escort speed to the ops zone.

        • That is what I was thinking.
          I mean…otherwise it is “Hey, president says he wants us hangin out at NK, but fuck man, weather is too good to NOT fly today!”

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Exactly. I once read a book by an Aviator that was a Nugget for Desert Shield/Desert Storm. He flew EA-6Bs off of Midway, and he hadn’t even completed Landing Quals when Midway had to speed transit for the Gulf. On site, he was not slick at aerial refueling, damaging 2 jets in 2 flights. His C.O. told him, it wasn’t fair, he was supposed to have a soft time, but if he bent one more jet, he was grounded, because they had a war to fight.

            He got better fast. Midway launched so many missions that they actually had to stand down for a few days to refinish the landing area of the flight deck, they wore the non-skid off.

          • I did not understand more than like 5 of those words in there, and hardly any of the context, but damn it is sexy when you talk all subject expert like that XD
            I feel like I could learn things/which is the sexy bit

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD Thanx Doll. Midway was a Badass warship, lots of combat cruises, shoot-downs, and Cold War patrols. Built at the end of World War 2, she was a Cold Warrior for decades, and she’s now a museum in San Diego.

    • Sheepshagger

      John McCain is too old for this shit.

    • boyblue122

      “Were going to take out every country along the way just in case”

      “Kim Jong Un could be on any of those islands, believe me”

      -Dumbo J Drumpf

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      let’s consult with Admiral Carmen SanDiego.

      • ltmcdies

        she’d probably find North Korea before Donald.

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        …Or Admiral Akbar.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          It’s a Trap!

  • Panika MCD

    Senate committee staff > House committee staff

    you can hardly blame the House committee staffers for being terrible some of the time because they live in a hole in the basement of the Pink Dome with low ceilings, bad lighting and it looks kinda like a maze…I mean, you might wonder if they sacrifice them to the Minotaur until you realized that the Minotaur would not have fit in there in the first place. but they really SUCK.

    my coworker is out of town at a funeral, so I got the fun fun fun job of going around and picking up copies of substitute bills (because laws aren’t made perfect the first time so there are substitutes in addition to those pesky amendment things–substitutes are what the author decided would work better and sometimes what the sponsor decided would work better…like their own version…whatevs, this paranthetical is too long already).

    only one House committee would give me the bills and the other 10 were either not at home or all, “NO! YOU MUST WAIT FOR COMMITTEE REPORT!” one even put the subs in the handouts which is weird because usually they get posted on the bill’s actual page in the “texts” section with the filed version and the fiscal note…and then he acted like I was the crazy one. then I had to spend hours going to every legislator’s office and a lot of them were like, “TLS? a likely story. never heard of it.” (we’ve only been around for 100 years and we are the nice people who don’t ask you questions, but for fucking copies of the bills so that everyone else and their mother aren’t.)

    when that was done, I went to the 2 Senate committees. at the first they were all, “HEY! would you like some BBQ while we print these out?!” and the 2nd was like, “I’ve been meaning to call you guys! you are wonderful. I will email them RIGHT NOW! why, yes, we are superior to the House for not making you walk all over creation!”

    and scene.

    in short, my feet hurt so I’m gonna die for the night.

    http://i.imgur.com/nAuo13F.gif

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Ninja0980

    https://twitter.com/ComfortablySmug/status/855488658610294785
    Lol at Republicans trying to use a crackpot who has no chance in hell of winning and has been rejected before by NYC voters as a way to smear all Democrats as being the real anti-Semites.
    Sorry, just like trying to claim Democrats are still the party of KKK, this won’t wash.
    This guy has been rejected before and will be rejected again by Democratic voters.
    Folks like Steve King etc. will be elected again and again.

    • comfortably smug indeed.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I don’t believe his statistics. How does he know it is 80%? Is he basing this on last names? Property records don’t state religious affiliation. This is very stupid. I have numerous relatives with German last names and stupid people often assume they are Jewish, but they are all Methodists.

  • Nounverb911
    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Badass kidz.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Super girls!

    • ltmcdies

      now there’s a photo to get behind

    • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

      This picture gives me so much hope.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Moments later, Donald asks, What are you girls doing in 10-12 years?

      • Bmaccnm

        “Not you-ooo.”

  • Nounverb911
    • Sheepshagger

      Pence wise Pound foolish?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Peter Graves & Leslie Nielsen libelz.

    • vivian

      America Never RePence

    • Anna Elizabeth

      “In a World of Danger, America needs these men! When Steely-eyed, snow-capped Mike Pence met that hard-muscled Bull of a man Matt Tracker, it equaled Fireworks, explosions, and long, erotic scenes of well oiled, sweaty chests and arms!

      See Tracker Get Pence, only in Theaters!”

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Jackass libelz!!!1!

    • ltmcdies

      yeh I’ve seen some photoshops I wouldn’t link here….how brain dead is this bunch to think those posted pics would have been left alone

  • Anna Rompage

    I’ve been eating pretty well over the last few weeks. Mostly veg, a bit of meat, and a touch of carbs.

    Tonight, due to the traffic, I splurged!

    Baked potato, rib eye cooked rare, and petite lobster tails all cooked over mesquite, and a side of asparagus out of the garden.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/deabe0f07c9bd62caa284d269f60a0d1759fa8c14d31b8c7e6371a317035b74f.jpg

    • boyblue122

      That looks amazing

      • Anna Rompage

        Thank you!

        It was really quite tasty!

    • Yr. Gma

      Dayum! That looks good!

    • ltmcdies

      that must have been some traffic

      • Anna Rompage

        90 minutes to go 13 miles

        • Once took us 11 hours to travel about 230 miles.
          Because 95 sucks that much, yes.

          • Suttree

            Back in the day, I used to carry a Vermont roadmap and a USA roadmap in my car/truck/bus. I loved getting off of the highway!

          • Oh no doubt! We actually knew other routes. Just…could not get to any.
            It was that bad, yes.

          • Suttree

            If in doubt, head that way! I was always good about finding the highway or the forest.

        • ltmcdies

          ugh….enjoy that lovely looking meal

    • You bought those with your food stamps like a good liberal taker, right?

      • Anna Rompage

        At $3 a piece, how could I not!

        • ltmcdies

          you rock, Anna

    • Suttree

      So pretty! Nice presentation!

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Damn but that looks divine! :D

    • Pinkham’s Law

      Sounds wonderful. Looks amazing. Presentation is spectacular!

  • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

    because Republicans are like toddlers — you have to give them something to do, otherwise they are just running around screaming and pooping on things.

    TODDLER LIBELUMMZZZ!!!!11 Also, go Sally Yates and hit them all with RUSTY VOTES!

  • Nounverb911
    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Money can buy you a nice kite, not that any of these slugs would appreciate the value of spending a contemplative afternoon at the park.

  • Nounverb911
  • Jennifer R

    Good fuck is this insanity still going on? Am I supposed to feel this hopeless?

    • Yes, and probably. :snuggle: I could lie and say it gets better, but that would be a lie. Instead, I will be truthful and say we will keep trying to get it better.

    • vivian

      Without darkness there can be no light.

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Did you spend time perusing the Breitbart comments sections? Stay here for hugs and nurturing.

      • Jennifer R

        Just day in day out

    • I’m still incandescently angry. So maybe?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      May I lovingly suggest taking a break? No news, no Trump. I just did, and it was really helpful.

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        This would be a good time too, since there can be some sort of parameter right now. As in, “I will take a break until it’s time for Sally Yates to testify.” :)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Excellent point.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      Hey, I got some Good News to share. My Baby Girl worked shit out, and saw her Doctor today for HRT.

      I don’t have details yet, BG was so happily tired she went to bed, she’s going to explain it all tomorrow though. :)

      • Jennifer R

        Yay, that is good. It took me like 6 years of self medding before I was brave enough to ask a doctor after the initial rejection.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Her fam has been in her way, she powered thru it somehow. I’ll hear about it soon. :)

          • Jennifer R

            They suck, and she doesn’t need them.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            Exactly. This was what had me in a cold rage the other day.

          • Jennifer R

            It sounds good that you two have each other.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            For certain. I’d be dead without her. I was contemplating suicide when we met. She’s saved me more times than I can remember, and she says I taught her how to fight and survive. :)

          • Jennifer R

            Good you two stick together.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            It is indeed. She’s a lot like me, 20+ years ago. Without the anger. Like me without my character flaws. :)

      • Lord Jim

        Awesome. Good news is always welcome in these troubled times.

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I can’t get past this:

    Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III.

    Four generations of his family were so enamored with Jefferson Davis and P. G. T Beauregard–who started a civil war to protect their “right” to own humans like livestock–that he, his father and his grandfather are named after them.

    • Sheepshagger

      They’re just not very imaginative.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      To be fair there is a LOT of inbreeding in that family

      • Little Doll–MOAMF

        There’s some in my family too, but thank the stars I’m only autistic, not twisted.

        Well, maybe a little twisted. But in a nice way. ;)

        • WomanInThePersistence

          A very nice way. I wish more people were twisted like you. The world would be a nicer place.

          • Little Doll–MOAMF

            Aw, thank you.

            My parents are either first cousins twice removed or second cousins once removed? Something like that. My Dad’s grandmother and my Mom’s great-grandfather were siblings.

          • WomanInThePersistence

            As a cheesemonger, I can categorically state that this seems to be distant enough to have no adverse effects. Certainly the resulting person is quite charming to have around here.

      • theCryptofishist

        So, you’re saying 8 generations?

  • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

    OT Rant related to Lord Jim’s comment. I notice a lot of times that Christian movies flop because they tend to inject stereotypical characters who are atheist or sometimes Muslim and depict them in the most negative way to make it look like they’re all out to destroy American Christians like in God’s Not Dead (they never talk about real persecution of Christians like in Egypt or something). And they treat God as if He’s just something where Christianity will automatically fix your marriage or relationship (see: Kirk Cameron’s Fireproof).

    I actually can’t think of any good Christian movies outside maybe Prince of Egypt.

    • Sheepshagger

      No titties. That’s the main problem.

    • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

      Most of the time they flop ‘cuz they’re just generally crappy movies (*cough* Left Behind *cough*). Also too for those reasons.

      • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

        I still can’t believe they thought Gods Not Dead needed a sequel.

        • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

          I’m still confused as to why they made the first one.

        • Maclare

          ‘Bring Out Yer Gods Not Dead’?

      • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

        The Mission? Loved that movie.

        Everybody dies in the end though.

    • For me it is the constant persecution complex, even though they are in the majority everywhere, in every facet of life.
      There is always some nefarious other trying to take them down for no reason at all other than “because!”

      Not even a money motivation. Just…because!

      • HazooToo

        You can’t consider the motivation of the Other! If you do that, the kids might empathize with THEM instead of the obvious Christian Heroes!

        • Just sayin, if they dwelt on any sort of motivation to have their plots make sense, it might be better for their pockets, which is all they are really interested in anyway

      • Lord Jim

        “Christians” feel persecuted when the law refuses to bow to their demands, or a nation refuses to treat them as a group with special and unique privileges.

    • Ezio, Card Game Warrior

      Oh! And also they try to cash in on tragedies like I’m Not Ashamed, literally about Rachel Scott who was killed in Columbine High School and apparently was a devout Christian.

      • Lord Jim

        And who was not actually challenged at gunpoint to renounce her faith or die.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
      • WomanInThePersistence

        I went there too.

      • jaspersdad

        More mocking Christianity than anything but a classic none the less.

        Follow the Gourd…..

        • WomanInThePersistence

          Mocking the followers, not the Creed. There is a difference.

          • jaspersdad

            “So funny, it was banned in Norway.”

    • Lord Jim

      Nathan Gilmour, over at the Christian Humanist Podcast did a review of God’s Not Dead that, while restrained in tone, took a pretty dim view of it for it’s ridiculously shallow and stereotyped characters, like the atheist professor. He links to a similar review fro another Christian.

      “I won’t pretend at this point that I’m not having fun pointing out the
      bad plotting, bad character development, and the occasional bout of
      outright bigotry at the heart of this film. It really was the worst
      movie I watched for some time”

    • theCryptofishist

      I find it a little weird how people in movies don’t seem to have any faith. Sure, they seem to have some sort of speech that they can give when things look dim, but nothing more than that. And yet, that is such a touch stone for so many people.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    I think it would be compellingly satisfying to see someone in possession of a vagina grab Donnie by the nuts and squeeze hard.

    Legally speaking, of course.

    • Teecha

      You’d want her to be wearing some sort of industrial strength rubber glove tho.

      Maybe with spikes.

    • vivian

      If only Bella Abzug were still with us…

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I see the vagina person wearing a suit of shining armor, including metal gauntlets. Do some permanent damage, with votes of course.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person

    You know, with a textbook written like this, I may have actually understood some of the algebra I almost learned in high school…
    https://twitter.com/rabaath/status/855069482133458944

    • lol, Just as you please
      Dig it ^.^

    • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

      That’s the way integrals were first explained to me.

      Only a little more technical with infinitely getting thinner and thinner slices of rectangle under the curve.

    • jesterpunk

      That looks like that evil common core stuff that is part of UN agenda 21 and jade helm or something. But seriously that does look like a lot easier way to understand calculus.

    • HazooToo

      I’m still on middle school math. I think I got lost in mid-basic-algebra.

    • Lord Jim

      Continuously in print for over a century. For a reason.

  • Suttree

    So since we are completely off topic now. I was texting Lizzie before and she told me that she saw a roadrunner! Also too, turtles and a lot of grackles. I miss her and I love her and I am so happy that she is having a nice vacation.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      What, no griffins or dragons?

      • Suttree

        I have yet to receive any pictures of what Austin looks like.Apparently there is a lot of tex-mex and bbq.

        • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
          • Suttree

            I love bats!

          • Little Doll–MOAMF
          • Suttree

            Hehe! Gimme, Ir hungry!

          • theCryptofishist

            I want to build a bat box for my house.

          • Suttree

            My father has one up in the eve. I think you could probably buy a simple one for $20. I would rather you built an awesome one though! Bat collection box. So, if you don’t mind my asking, we haven’t talked in years. How are you doing?

          • theCryptofishist

            I’m fine, thank you. We knew each other somewhere else? (I’m a little dense when it comes to people.)

          • Suttree

            Only from here. We were talking about trauma.

          • theCryptofishist

            Hokay, I’ve only been here ~1.5 years.

          • Suttree

            Maybe it was closer. But it was you. You were a soldier And you had a traumatic double amputation. That is what you told me.

          • theCryptofishist

            I’m not a soldier. I was run over by a train.
            (I’ll confess I never read this, so I don’t know what it exactly says about hte accident: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OBB_Personenverkehr_AG_v._Sachs )

          • Suttree

            You never said that you were a soldier. I just made an assumption. You only said that you were a double amputee.

          • theCryptofishist

            Okay. I’ve been a Berkeley anti-war person almost from the get-go. I don’t know what I would have been like in the army.

          • theCryptofishist

            Certainly, there have been a lot of amputees made in the services.

          • Suttree

            Ok. I am not about to read the supreme court decision, nor do I care. I am only asking you questions about pain management. I also don’t care about medications. I don’t take anything but advil tylenol and aleve at the moment. I was really just wondering about how you psyche yourself into dealing with the pain. That’s all that I am asking!

          • Suttree

            Alright. I am sorry. We had a big long conversation. I’ll leave you alone. My apologies. I

          • Persistent Demme

            I do too!
            They eat LOADS of mosquitoes.
            (And I’m like a mosquito magnet!)

          • WomanInThePersistence

            Last fall, my Mom and I stood on a bridge in Austin for three hours waiting for the bats, along with a couple hundred other people, and six boats in the river. The little bastards never showed up. And I love bats!

          • Suttree

            When I was a kid, I used to sit on the rock in the middle of the stream in our backyard. I would smoke out there and watch the bats go by at sunset. You really have no idea how many are there. They are soooo quiet!

          • WomanInThePersistence

            And beautiful. And they eat a metric fuck ton of bugs. And they tend to be very shy and harmless to humans. I love bats.

          • Suttree
          • WomanInThePersistence

            Aaawwwwwww…..

      • tapp_my_wire,please

        They’re all at Mar-a-Lago for the weekend.

    • Anna Elizabeth

      :D Nice!

    • HazooToo

      Just tell her to watch out for the Jabberwocky.

      • Perry?

        • Suttree

          Isn’t he supposed to be Godzilla now? I mean with all of the nukuler radiation.

        • HazooToo

          No, that’s the platypus!

  • Bemused Australian
  • Prof. T. Green Bastard
    • HazooToo

      This weekend will be long, and will require much hard work and sacrifice. But I am confident that, if we can pull together as a family, we will prevail!

      • Kiri the Unicorn

        …In faith and freedom, and the purity of our precious bodily fluids.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Don’t let them take your essence.

          • Kiri the Unicorn

            I save it up for my special friends.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            XD I can my special friends “Hey, You’re Cute”

      • vivian

        “I would ask the moderator if he thinks this is truly a fair question or rather more of the gotcha journalism that has come to typify life in Washington DC. And that’s the problem. You see, too many people are being asked gotcha questions, and I for one will not stand here and be badgered by the press… or whoever you are.”

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Relaxing + enjoyable + cost-effective = dropping acid.

      • Crank Tango

        Obviously you don’t remember that time i did too much acid, spent the night grinding my teeth, and dropped out of college the next day.

        • Kiri the Unicorn

          No, I’m afraid I was fascinated by a piece of particle board at the time.

          • Crank Tango

            Yep. I recall staring at cinder blocks for a while.

    • Crank Tango

      First, what did Obama do on his weekend?

      • jesterpunk
      • Kiri the Unicorn

        Dunno, but on Monday he’ll be back in Chicago, talking to kids about civic engagement and community organizing.

        So, the usual Commie Kenyan Muslim Secret Gay agenda.

  • Prof. T. Green Bastard
  • Bemused Australian
    • theCryptofishist

      Pretty good.

    • Ω cynmac will never surrender

      Tweeted!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      I love this, except poutine in Vancouver?

  • jesterpunk

    Damn you Canada with your leaders who know things, hockey and now you are going to strengthen net neutrality? Are you trying to make people like you even more?

    https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2017/04/as-us-prepares-to-gut-net-neutrality-rules-canada-strengthens-them/

  • HazooToo
  • Jennifer R
    • Anna Elizabeth

      The fuck?

      • Ω cynmac will never surrender

        The new normal. I wonder what fuckery they asked him to do? There is always fuckery.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Must have been. Geez Louise.

      • Lord Jim

        2016 – The Year of “What the Fuck?!”
        2017 – The Year of “Fuckin’ me!”

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD Nicely played!

    • Alan

      Surgeon general is now a political position?

      • theCryptofishist

        Ahem! Those of us who remember the Reagan years, remember C. Everette Koop, who was chosen because he was a pro-lifer. And his supporters were possibly not so happy when he proved to be less than enthusiastic about the “gay plague.” And then there was Clinton’s, whose name escapes me. She had to leave the position after suggesting that masturbating would be good for teenagers. Any nominated position can suddenly get political in an unexpected way.

        • Lord Jim
        • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

          Joycelyn Elders

          • theCryptofishist

            Ah, yes. No reason for her to have to go.

        • alwayspunkindrublic

          Remember Dubya picked Richard Carmona, a Tucson badass former Green Beret/trauma surgeon. Bush liked the look of that resume’…what he didn’t count on is that Carmona is actually pretty liberal and is a firm believer in science and education. By all accounts, he was miserable serving under Bush and his anti-science/intellectual agenda, and they hated him in return.

    • jesterpunk

      Is Trump going to replace him with Andrew Wakefield? He was at Trump’s inauguration ball.

      https://twitter.com/bengoldacre/status/822721511492558848?lang=en

      • C4TWOMAN

        Of course he was. Frauds all together. Surprised Jill Stein wasn’t there…

        • jesterpunk

          She would have been there but the ball had wifi.

          • C4TWOMAN

            She could have worn her tinfoil lined hat….

        • ltmcdies

          did they check behind the potted plants

          • C4TWOMAN

            Dunno. Maybe behind the pot plants…

      • alwayspunkindrublic

        Mother of God. He’s got a knack for collecting kooks, felons, and deadbeats from the entire spectrum of the crazy and criminal.

        • jesterpunk

          He gives them all positions in his administration too to make it even worse.

          • theCryptofishist

            I’m incompetent, but not that incompetent. Certainly raising some sort of bar there.

    • C4TWOMAN

      Well, look at him. He probably is giving Trump evangelical WASPs nightmares.

    • aktlib101

      Maybe Donald wanted a penile replacement therapy? And the guy was like, nah mang, not possible…too late? Not enough room?

    • theCryptofishist

      So, he’s breaking the record for least cabinet officials in the first 100 days AND the record for most cabinet officials resigning. That’s kinda contradictory.

  • II Gosala

    So, our little cat, Phoebe, has disappeared. We’ve searched the house repeatedly. She’s not here.

    We checked the screens, and there is no hole large enough for even a little cat to get through.

    We searched the yard as best we could with a single flashlight on a moonless night.

    We checked the roads and streets nearby. No little body could we find.

    So, she’s not in the house and she’s not outside the house.

    Impossible!

    Last night, I found her sitting in her litter box, a strange look on her face. It seemed ominous somehow, but I’m a rationalist and don’t believe in omens. I dismissed it aa piece of random cat weirdness.

    I guess I shouldn’t have. I should have scooped her up and held her close and asked her not to go (though being Phoebe, she would have squirmed and wriggled and escaped my arms, and it might not have mattered in the end).

    Anyway, she’s gone. We’ll keep looking in the morning, but I don’t expect to see her again.

    May Bast keep her and protect her.

    * sobs disconsolately *

    • Anna Elizabeth

      ~hugs~ I’m so sorry

      • II Gosala

        thank you.

    • vivian

      My kitty Joan did that once. Came back after a week covered in soot. I’m hoping she’s just gone walkabout for awhile.

      • II Gosala

        One can hope.

    • Alan

      I’ve spent an entire day looking for a cat that had only become temporarily invisible. Check the closets, cupboards, etc….

      • C4TWOMAN

        This. I had a kitten rescue who, when he felt lost or scared, would go some place and be very very very quiet. As in I would call and call and he would not come …unless I physically found him and made eye contact. Because anything else might be a trick…. So yeah, she might be in one of those out of the way places being really quiet. She might not be feeling well, so double triple check.

    • Lord Jim

      May your friend soon find the way home to her loved one.

    • Rasilom

      Do not give up hope. We had one of.our favorite dogs, Boudreau, go missing for 3 days. A guy who was stayimg with our next door neibour went hunting in the mountains behind our house. He found him and carried him home. Many tears were shed when we thought him gone. We nursed him back to health and had him for 8 more years. Never guve up hope.

    • Paul

      So sorry to hear that. But take heart. I just posted on another thread the story of one of our cats disappearing for four nights. We live in the woods abutting a state forest and it took off Sunday at noon and came back a little after midnight Thursday night/Friday morning. Old cat. Rainy, 35 degree weather. Coyotes. We feared the worst and gave up.
      Then the son of a bitch came strolling home like it was all routine shit.

      So hang in there and don’t despair quite yet. They are resilient critters.

    • Wendy Belgard Hanawalt

      We moved into a new apartment, with a sliding door and porch. My cat immediately ran out the door. We looked everywhere for her, including the old house. I figured she’d never find the new apartment, given that she’d only been in it once, for a couple of minutes. SIX MONTHS LATER I heard a mewing outside the sliding door and there she was–skinny as hell, dirty, and obviously wretched, but alive. She was so exhausted, she actually let me bathe her. Then I gave her a can of cat food, all of which she ate immediately. And then she slept for two days. So take heart. Miracles can happen, mebbe.

    • Tiffany de Houston

      I’m so sorry but don’t give up looking. Hugs and good luck in your search.

    • Persistent Demme

      The car?
      We once searched frantically for our dog, and found her curled up in the car.
      Best of luck!

    • Serai 1

      The majority of cats who “go missing” are actually very close by, in a spot you couldn’t find if your life depended on it, and end up coming home after a couple of days.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      I’m sorry to hear this. But do not give up hope. I once had a very large and fat cat (21 lbs) that lived with me many years ago. He disappeared for two days. I searched the house from top to bottom. I ran the can opener. I opened cans of tuna. I made fried chicken, the odor of which he could not resist. I spread cat nip everywhere. He was nowhere to be found, and he was not using the litter box. Then on the morning of the 3rd day he casually walked into the living room as if he had only been gone 5 minutes. I later discovered that he had a secret hiding place behind and under the clothes dryer. How he was able to squeeze his fat body back there I do not know, but of course cats are shape-shifters.

      This same cat had a knitted glove that he adored. I called it his “Beloved” because he would carry it around the house and make love cries to it, and would try to mate with it. It disappeared for two months. I found it underneath the clothes dryer.

      The same cat crawled into one of the heating ducts once. He was so fat that I do not know how he managed to get in there, and he could not turn around and get out, and he got stuck. It took me 4 hours to rescue him. He went in a white cat, and he came out a charcoal grey cat. I was pretty grey myself before it was over.

      He died 13 years ago. He is much missed.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    Because I get the best, the yooogest spam.

    “WHITE HOUSE MEMO

    A new economic optimism is sweeping across our country, and today President Donald J. Trump is taking action to continue this great economic revival. The President is signing three Presidential actions that will further the process of simplifying the tax code, holding Wall Street firms accountable, and opening up opportunities for small businesses and entrepreneurs.

    AFTERNOON:1:30PM: President Trump meets with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson2:45PM: President Trump signs three financial services Presidential actions – Watch LIVE3:05PM: President Trump meets with Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin 3:30PM: President Trump meets with the Director of the Office of Management and Budget Mick Mulvaney”

    I’m certainly feeling economically optimistic. Also too, slightly drunk.

    • II Gosala

      there are not enough votes

  • Blackest Noobs

    O’Reilly is the distraction and this is true but it’s so bad that not even that is distracting us….this must be the shortest lived movement ever in the history of us.

    remember, Trumpie called it a movement, and we all made bowel movement jokes and the point is we were just off with the timing….they’re so fucking incompetence Bush Junior is a fucking Kaiser Soze in comparison….we fucking knew they would start epicly failing so early.

    OH? that’s right….we fucking knew it.

    • theCryptofishist

      “they’re so fucking incompetence Bush Junior is a fucking Kaiser Soze in comparison…”
      Do you remember when Bush I said he didn’t do so well on “the vision thing.” They keep edging up…

  • aktlib101

    Deregulation. Believe me.
    “Open thread for night owls: Trump’s FCC rolls back business broadband price caps. It’ll cost you.”
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/4/21/1655105/-Open-thread-for-night-owls-Trump-s-FCC-rolls-back-business-broadband-price-caps-It-ll-cost-you
    “[T]he FCC voted today to approve a controversial plan to deregulate the $45 billion market for business-to-business broadband, also known as Business Data Services (BDS), by eliminating price caps that make internet access more affordable for thousands of small businesses, schools, libraries and hospitals. The price caps, which have been in place for years, are designed to protect small businesses and other community institutions from predatory behavior by monopoly broadband providers like AT&T and Verizon. […]

    “This is crony capitalism that favors broadband giants, is anti-business, and kicks consumers,” Chip Pickering, CEO of pro-competition tech industry trade group INCOMPAS, said in a recent statement.”

    • jesterpunk

      Those small businesses owners shouldnt have taken him seriously or literally when he said he would help small businesses and the middle class.

  • Anna Elizabeth
  • Anna Elizabeth

    It’s a good thing Star Wars mascara is waterproof:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4m5KrPXL4wI

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    Am I wrong for hoping that someone will forget to close a cargo door all the way and air force 1 will have an explosive decompression so it showers the earth with Trumps? Am I terrible for thinking these things?

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Yes. The cargo door will blow open with votes.

      • Anna Elizabeth

        Reminds me of a line from the novel “CW4” – “Raise a toast to the Air Cav, those warriors whom rain Fire, Piss, and at times entire Helicopters upon the heads of the Heathen.”

    • Lord Jim

      Today, we are all terrible.

    • Angela Ruzzo

      You are not terrible. You are a compassionate and highly intelligent human being. You recognize evil when you see it. I would nominate you for the Nobel Peace Prize if I could.

    • CindyinEncinitas

      The greater good, darling. It’s just math.

  • jaspersdad

    I’m watching the documentary Burn Motherfucker Burn. Fuck me….
    https://youtu.be/e1dPKfxRhk0?list=PLuMoYw8FHZynLwtbtUvo5qQNtKpMXlWtb

  • Bemused Australian

    Your right wing politicians may be a bunch of dickheads, but we can compete. Here is are soe videos of our former Prime Minister who is currently angling to take back over the top job. The classic onion eating vid, and his bizarre inability to speak when questioned by a reporter.

    https://youtu.be/RchE5c-cYnM

    https://youtu.be/rJ9y1c73-IM

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      Still here.

    • Anna Elizabeth
      • Kiri the Unicorn
        • Anna Elizabeth

          LOL

      • Resistance Fighter Callyson

        OT, but GOD I am jelly of people who can be redheads. I was one for a few years, but had to give it up when people kept telling me I looked like Sarah Ferguson. Oh HELL no!

        Turned to blonde out of desperation. I’ve only been told I look like someone else once since doing so–someone said I resembled Sarah Jessica Parker. Ha ha ha, maybe if I lose twenty pounds…but it beats being compared to British royalty FFS. Also, it can be fun disproving jagoffs who assume all blondes are idiots…

        https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/308166973c63175aa865cae43191d83508f84f765d296bdc8c4531bc49c4752f.jpg

        • Anna Elizabeth

          Nice! I used to do a spiky Blonde thing, and then my anime White.

          I’ve been getting lots of attention with the Red tho. :)

        • Rasilom

          Why was the blonde stairing into the the freezer at the grocery store so intently? Because the orange juice can said concentrait….

          I’ll show my self out now.

        • Angela Ruzzo

          Three years ago I decided to stop coloring my hair back to it’s natural color of dark brown. My hair had turned white at age 35, which is a trait that runs in my family. I didn’t want to grow it out slowly and look like a skunk or trailer trash for a year, so I went to a salon and had them strip out the old dye and color my hair the palest blonde they could do, so that as the white grew out it would hardly be noticeable. To my great surprise, once I was a blonde I actually HAD MORE FUN. Men started paying me compliments and flirting with me, even though I was 58 years old. Strangers were noticeably more friendly. I was astonished, as I thought the “Blondes have more fun” thing was a myth. Once my hair was all white, the fun stopped. I’m OK with that, as it was an interesting experience and will make an interesting chapter in my autobiography.

    • jesterpunk
      • theCryptofishist

        I have to upfist that every single time.

        Does it mean I’m boring?

        Does it make my ass look fat?

        • Rasilom

          Never, as we cant see your ass and evem if we could we qould all be too classy to tell you your ass looked fat even if it did.

        • Suttree

          Hey crypto, do you have a moment?

          • theCryptofishist

            Uh, yeah.

          • Suttree

            I was just wondering if you could give any tips on how you psychologically deal with pain. If you feel like you have some really good stuff I’ll give you my email. If not just a quick briefer. We have talked about this stuff before.

          • Suttree

            And I will apologize beforehand for asking you such a question.

          • theCryptofishist

            I don’t know that I was much use, but maybe you have follow-ups?

          • Suttree

            All of my doctors are new. I just got on medicaid because I am unemployed. I would like to use this time to fix myself, and catch up on shit that I haven’t been taking care of. I am going for a colonoscopy because my sister and grandmother had it. I just up’ed my antidepressants and HBP meds. I’m going to the urologist because I cannot pee anymore. I have yet to get to the psych and the PT. I was just wondering about taking care of pain psychologically.

          • theCryptofishist

            So, my mental attitude towards my pain?

          • Suttree

            Yup. Last year I was referred to a pain dr. but I just lost my job and have never follow up on that. Yeah I like drugs and stuff, but I would rather not.

          • theCryptofishist

            After the other day, I can’t say I disagree. Are you gaining any feeling in your side? Is it all scrambled? one of the things that they told me about my legs is that if I touched them a lot, that would help new neural pathways develop. Distraction helps a lot. The worst is going to sleep, when all that other stimulation is gone but my legs are going, We’re here and we’re tingly!

          • Suttree

            My side is getting better. It has been 13 years since the wounds. My big problem was sleeping on that side. And/or having anyone touch me on that side. I finally got my gf Lizzie to use tender touching on that side, and I can handle it. After a year of being with her, I have gained trust. I have finally trusted myself to roll onto my right side.

          • theCryptofishist

            Well, the so called “phantom pain” or “phantom limb” is less pain than tingling. All the time really. I’m on this stuff called Gabapentin. It cuts down on the effect, but never really ends it. And if I’m off of it for a day or two, I start feeling like I have really short legs and feet that are all curled up like the wicked witch of the east’s. And I have a shoulder injury, that I use generic aleve on. So, drugs, mostly. Sometimes, I have to not take the aleve in order to take something else. Ibuprofin back when I had bad periods, for instance. I do try and be mindful, but I”m not much of a mediator, and it’s hard to do it when you’re in pain and out of practice.
            Now I want to write a pseudo-country song, “In Pain and Out of Practice.”

          • Suttree

            Thank you darling. That is kinda what I have been running since my back went to shit. So that you remember, I am the guy that got stabbed 15 times. Punctured intestine and lung. It’s been a long time since we talked about this. I have my whole right side of my torso which is numb and really tender and messed up. Nothing like your damage though! But, I just remember that you said to me, “your pain is worse than mine”. So I felt that i could talk to you again. I am so sorry if that is not the case right now. As I said, it has been years!

          • theCryptofishist

            I don’t mind talking. Shit, it’s good to know that other people are in this world in less than ideal circumstances. When I’ve had enough of your questions, I’ll do something passive aggressive, so you’ll know!

          • Suttree

            Hehe! I just responded to your “follow up question”. Lets move there.

      • Sister the Resister

        Around my librul pals, the phrase “leopards eating people’s faces party” has kind of become a standin for much longer expressions of anger and frustration

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Trump is an ignoramus. He watches TV news to hear what people say about him, and that’s it. He’s never had anything substantive to say about world affairs beyond tossing out a look-at-me tweet. This was all very apparent before the election, so I don’t understand why anyone thought he actually had a policy.

    • Rasilom

      Umm, maybe you should feel incredably stupid instead. I mean look that ass slug infected dick toad with a dead badger on his head lied so often and so consistently on the campain trail that all I have to say to folks like this is, really? Make better choices and stop being a stupid douche. Reall I have zero fucks to.give to people like this.

  • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
    • Rasilom

      Well get back to us when you start shooting silk out of.your butt…

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    What about my sincere hope that Alex Jones eats chili laced with Thorazine aka chili con comatose and spends his days propped in a wheelchair drooling and dreaming of himself being teabagged by George Soros….is this reprehensible?

    • jesterpunk

      Not at all.

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Much better. Also, more likely.

    • Meanie-meanie, tickle a person
    • Angela Ruzzo

      It’s not reprehensible, it is a rational prediction – something that could actually happen to him. Ninety years ago he would have been locked up in a mental institution and lobotomized. He is one of the very few people I know of for whom I would recommend this treatment.

    • Rasilom

      No, this is actually my personal American dream.

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • jesterpunk

      Good song, I was listening to one of the first recordings of that song, amazing how it has changed over the past century.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYrK464nIeY

      • Anna Elizabeth

        This is amazing. I obvs. need to listen to more from Leadbelly.

        • jesterpunk

          Its amazing what the old blues musicians could do with just their voice and some clapping, they didnt always need their instrument either. But there are a lot of current songs you can trace back to old slave working songs that are still around thanks to the Smithsonian. That is going to be another rabbit hole if you start listening to more Lead Belly and other older musicians though.

          • Rasilom

            So very true! Just cause its old dont mean it aint awsome.

          • CindyinEncinitas

            After I proved myself to be an able quilter my grandmother gave me a quilt top she had started when she was 8 years old, in 1921, but she never finished it because she didn’t like to quilt. She preferred crochet, so she put it away. The shape she chose for the pieces on her quilt top was the triangle square, which comes from Africa. Of course she learned the pattern from the slave culture in Texas but I was proud to finish that quilt in the home where I lived with my black husband and our beautiful son. It was a profound experience to finish that quilt and take a picture of it in that house with my grandmother.

          • theCryptofishist

            I don’t know the full story, but the idea that these quilts were used as signals on the underground railroad in full sight of the slavers… Pretty sneaky (in the best possible way.) Rich heritage.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            I can live with that. :D I am so in love with Jack White as a musician now.

    • Rasilom

      I love this!

      • Anna Elizabeth

        I’m glad. youTube recommend after a bluesy Jack White track.

        • Rasilom

          Nice. This video shows many thing I have done in my misspent yourh and adulthood. Though I I must admit I have never played a drum set while flying down the road. One more thing to add to the bucket list XD.

          • Anna Elizabeth

            That is pretty epic! XD

    • Bemused Australian
  • Suttree
    • aktlib101

      Palin clan member?

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      Eric the Fruit Bat!

    • Rasilom

      For referance….

      https://youtu.be/j_SjhcdF_J4

      • Suttree

        Thanks about what people think about bats. Except scarier!

        • CindyinEncinitas

          I just helped herd a small bat out of my local pizza place. Poor little thing!

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Awwwwww….

    • Sister the Resister

      Oh, so sweet! I lived with a bat colony in the attic for four years a while back. They weren’t much trouble (occasionally thumped around a bit) and we had very few bugs plaguing us in the summer nights.

    • marxalot

      I was super disappointed in everyone involved when it turned out that, although the library where I work had developed a perfectly good bat colony, building maintenance was relocating, trapping, and killing them! That is not what you do with bats! Certainly not library bats. (Apparently they “only” killed the ones they couldn’t trap and move, which makes no fucking sense to me at all, and no, I don’t care if they’re living in the stairwells now.)

  • boyblue122

    Didnt see this before – Colbert added an Alex Jones character to his show

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gv2RnmQUMhI

    • Anna Elizabeth

      XD Lookit those thighs!

      • boyblue122

        lol..he got in full Jones character

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño
    • Anna Elizabeth

      Pretty epic comments over there.

      • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

        Yup. Most start with “Fuck you.” Love it.

        • Anna Elizabeth

          XD We are in agreement.

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Even though Jones has wrecked the lives of others by promoting trashy and dangerous conspiracy theories, he says his custody battle is a “private matter.”

      “I urge the press to be respectful and responsible and to show due deference to the process of the law and respect boundaries defined for this case so that a fair result can be found,” Jones said in a statement, according to Business Insider. “Above all this is a private matter.”

      https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/042f95b248360b3b25270ffb53a30c6cb7c6de536119527ad38af8afad2c0aac.jpg

      • Suttree

        SO everything that you do in your everyday life, you would like others not to do? Sounds legit, something something something

      • theCryptofishist

        Okay, it is a private matter for his kids. Who have already suffered enough, and will suffer more.
        Although, I do enjoy the weird details. Fuck, surrealism is not dead, it walks amoung us.

      • Phoenixdoglover

        Live by the sword, die by the sword.

        As ye sow, so shall ye reap.

        Karma’s a bitch.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Those poor kids.

    • aktlib101

      Heh, so many fucks, so little time…

  • Angela Ruzzo

    The friend I have written about in other comments who lost his leg in a motorcycle/car accident 8 months ago now has to go back into the hospital next week to have the steel rod and 10 steel screws in his remaining leg replaced, since several pins broke when he fell out of his wheelchair last week. His $59/month ACA health insurance from Anthem Blue Cross/Blue Shield is going to pay for it all, AND pay for 2 weeks of inpatient care at a rehab facility afterwards AND pay for a new wheelchair that won’t tip over. Paul Ryan and the Republicans in Congress can go fuck themselves in a big pit of horse shit. The ACA isn’t perfect, but it works.

    • Wellstone En Resistencia, Coño

      It does but to Ryan and his minions none of that matters. It’s not about the ACA for them, it’s about the people who benefits from it, i.e., those who are not them.

      • Angela Ruzzo

        Correct. But this is not what they were elected to do. They have not read their job descriptions. Neither have the people who voted for them.

    • Suttree

      Yay! My cousin had a terrible wreck on her motorcycle last year.. I haven’t spoken to her in a while, but last I saw she was on a beach with crutches Thank you Obama for the ACA! I care not about any premiums I pay, because I will need them at some point!

      • marxalot

        Speaking of which, how’s your back?

        • Suttree

          Like shit, and no i have not gotten a PT yet. :) I have a few Wonketteers after me for taking care of my body.

          • theCryptofishist

            Aha!

  • Anna Elizabeth
    • Bemused Australian

      You’re posting a bunch of aussie music!. Great track. I was surprised to see it turn up there TBH. Here’s another of fave Nick Cave tracks.

      https://youtu.be/AoFxUJtSp4g

      • Anna Elizabeth

        That’s cool, i didn’t even know, It was on my “Recommends”, and it was so awesome I had to save & share. Thanks for this one, too. :)

  • aktlib101

    Well, Jared not available to take on this job too?
    You know, for the so called “unpaid” First Lady…
    “Ivanka Trump adds a chief of staff”
    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/04/21/julie-radford-chief-of-staff-ivanka-trump-237454
    “Radford’s role as an official chief of staff to a first daughter is unique. Ivanka Trump is focused on women’s issues, but shealso has been described by her attorney as a looming presence who serves as “her father’s eyes and ears” in the White House. Ivanka Trump also has an assistant, and she continues to work closely with her father’s longtime senior communications adviser, Hope Hicks, who worked for the Trump Organization before joining the campaign. She also retains an outside spokeswoman. A White House official declined to comment on how many more staffers she planned to hire”

    • jesterpunk

      So more goldman people in the white house? How long until they just get their own wing?

      • aktlib101

        You have to hire the swamp before you can drain it. Or something.

        • jesterpunk

          If you fill it up enough eventually it will overflow and spread Santorum and other waste all over the place lowering the water in the swamp. I think thats how it works.

    • Major_Major_Major

      Ahhh, sweet, sweet Hope Spins Eternal. It has been so long since we have heard mention of her, and yet not long enough.

  • aktlib101

    Reagonomics/trickle-down/neoliberalism on steroids, returning full force.
    Because it worked so BIGLY for the past 40 years, since Raygun
    “Trump’s treasury secretary: The tax cut ‘will pay for itself’
    https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2017/04/20/trumps-treasury-secretary-the-tax-cut-will-pay-for-itself/?utm_term=.5131f62d5b6b
    “Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said the economic growth that would result from the proposed tax cuts would be so extreme – close to $2 trillion over 10 years – that it would come close to recouping all of the lost revenue from the dramatic rate reductions. Some other new revenue would come from eliminating certain tax breaks, although he would not specify which ones.

    “The plan will pay for itself with growth,” Mnuchin said at an event hosted by the Institute of International Finance.

    “The Tax Policy Center, working with the University of Pennsylvania, estimated that Trump’s proposed tax cuts would reduce revenue by $6.2 trillion over 10 years. The researchers said Trump’s proposed plan would initially lead to more economic growth but the resulting growth in government debt — driven by falling revenue levels – would eventually hurt economic growth.”

    • jesterpunk

      You dumbshit Steve Mnuchin, Kansas tried that and it failed so bad even Republicans figured out it doesnt work, What makes you think it would work any better anywhere else?

    • WeaselPoo

      Even though the TPC is obviously less than impressed with the proposed tax cuts , note how the language nonetheless used in this article:

      “more economic growth”—for whom? And growth measured how? By the Dow Jones?

      “falling revenue levels would eventually hurt economic growth”–When is “eventually”?
      How about within 6 years? Because that’s about how long Reagan’s voodoo economics ‘worked— that’s not “eventually”, that’s near- future.

      • theCryptofishist

        Yeah, but we don’t think in terms longer than this quarter.

        • WeaselPoo

          Evidently…nor do ‘we’ appear to look back further than the last quarter, either.

  • jesterpunk

    I heard on the radio when I ran to the store earlier today that Paula Abdul, Boys 2 Men and New Kids on the Block are touring together.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/93ec74f81501355f9ecd72b278c9816aabc94e218641c5495ca628ea2fa12bfd.jpg

    • boyblue122

      The late 80s?

    • aktlib101

      666 AD?

      • jesterpunk

        Well that does explain a few things. It also explains why Jared is running everything.

      • theCryptofishist

        The Empire Never Ended.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
    • jesterpunk

      Donald J Trump…did they really have to ask? If there is some way to make money the GOP is all for it and if it hurts poor people that is even better for them.

    • boyblue122

      A guy who cant read and has no use for books

    • Suttree

      People who want the stupidest populace evar? Republicans love stupid racist white people!
      I grew up going to the library to do my homework with my buddy. We were lucky as fuck, as we both lived across the street from each other, and around the corner from the library. When we finished our homework, we played chess on the big board on the carpet. None of our other peers used this!

      • The Librarian

        Yes. And ^THIS!

  • Anna Elizabeth

    I’m off to bed Everypony. I hope you all have a great night and stay safe. :)

    • jesterpunk

      Have a good night Anna.

    • Rasilom

      Goodnight my friend. Sleep well.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Pleasant dreams.

    • Lord Jim

      Love and hugs, my sweet. :)

  • IdiokraticDrumpfenJugend
  • jesterpunk
  • aktlib101

    Heh,
    “And in today’s episode of Bizzaro World things have gone downright mad. Remember back when candidate Trump was inciting violence at his rallies, calling for his deplorable supporters to eject protestors, silence them and rough them up? Well now he’s claiming that those protestors had no right to protest at his rallies in the first place, as they supposedly infringed on his first amendment rights. ”
    http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2017/4/21/1654988/-Trump-says-protestors-at-rallies-violated-his-right-to-free-speech-because-they-hurt-his-feelings
    http://www.politico.com/story/2017/04/20/donald-trump-protest-rallies-speech-237431?utm
    “Trump’s lawyers also argue that he had every right to call for the removal the protesters since they “obviously interfered with the Trump campaign’s First Amendment right” by “vigorously expressing their disdain for Mr. Trump,” including by chanting and holding up signs depicting Trump’s face on the body of a pig, among other anti-Trump messages.”

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/e1b8db794ac5f4a4f16098eb7d0bde6bc5476e5049c823bb208cb28a06534b13.jpg

    • WeaselPoo

      That’s some shitty ‘lawyering’ right there–first amendment protects an INDIVIDUAL from the GOVERNMENT suppressing dissent—it DOES NOT protect one individual from the dissent of another.

      Are Trump’s lawyers as stupid as Trump? Or are they just pandering to his victimhood, knowing full well their ‘argument’ is bullshit, but they still get to charge him for it?
      If the latter, I take back my criticism–GREAT ‘LAWYERING’ guys! Except I suspect the legal fees will be paid for by the tax payer, not Trump, so BAD LAWYERING GUYS, and I hope you all get stiffed as per Trump’s ‘business model’.

      • Biel_ze_Bubba

        Any lawyer who actually makes this argument in litigation deserves to be disbarred for incompetence. On the other hand, just like O’Really?’s lawyer, they are free to vomit an endless stream of bullshit at the press and public.

    • jesterpunk

      So his legal defense is he is a huge snowflake who needed his safe space? I thought he was against that stuff?

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Nounverb911
    • theCryptofishist

      I love that movie.
      I wonder what it was like in the original German.

    • Rasilom

      Man where are your hypnosis gif’s. I need them for my stop smoking effort. Really man where are they. Unless you are a dudette then where are they dudeette?

  • Nounverb911
  • Moebym Reborn

    On days like this, I just feel like giving up and withdrawing from society by either pulling a Holden Caulfield or becoming a hermit living off the land in a remote wilderness. That way I wouldn’t have to have any goddam stupid useless conversations with anybody, and I’d be so much happier for it because it means I’ll ever have to embarrass myself again.

  • aktlib101

    “Michael Moore: ‘Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate. Trump knew that'”
    https://www.theguardian.com/film/2017/apr/21/michael-moore-bowling-for-columbine-tribeca-film-festival
    “I think we’ve gone through 40 years of a country being dumbed down,” Moore said. “We defunded our schools allowing them to just go into an awful state. The arts have been canceled and civics class is gone from a third of our schools now.” In fact, Moore was one of the rare voices who predicted a Trump presidency during the election, citing an instance when he was booed for saying Trump would reign supreme during a taping of HBO’s Real Time with Bill Maher. “I was like, ‘I didn’t say it because I wanted it to happen. I’m just trying to ring a warning bell here.’”
    “Ironically, Moore points out the reasons for Trump’s election and the lack of action concerning gun violence are the results of the same problem. “I think the equation is simple,” he explained. “It’s the American equation. Dumb down the population and make them ignorant and stupid. Ignorance leads to fear, fear leads to hate. Trump knew that part of the equation really well. And hate leads to violence.”

    • Biel_ze_Bubba

      The GOP and the NRA know the formula very well.

  • Bemused Australian
  • Lord Jim

    Off to bed, but before I go –

    Thanks to all who commiserated with me in a matter that you could rightfully have waved off as “not my problem”. Thanks to those who spoke out when I and Nightcrawler received rough treatment at the tongue of a misguided atheist who was unable to get the notion of a “Progressive Christian”. Believe me, I will be explaining to Christians how my atheist and unaligned friends were there for me in struggles they never knew I was experiencing.

    Here’s to hope that one day we will celebrate the awesome that is our common humanity.

    • jesterpunk

      Have a good night Jim, hope you can find something that works for you.

    • WomanInThePersistence

      Sleep well. And what a lovely non-comment.

    • Rasilom

      Have a good one my friend. And know my paganism is big enough to include the christian single God in the panthion. Seriously, how you treat your fellow human creature means more to me than what god you may or may not follow. You are a good person, this i know from reading your non-comments. Have a great night and we will catch you on the
      flip side.

  • marxalot

    Hey, y’all.
    I’m tired, my sleep schedule is out of whack, and my girlfriend is in town but for some reason we’re having some communication issues abut things I thought were settled.
    On the other hand, we’re going out to Valley of Fire tomorrow morning, for what ought to be a beautiful hike.
    Ave atque vale, everybody.

  • WomanInThePersistence

    I’m heading for bed. And let’s all try to love each other.

    https://youtu.be/6SFNW5F8K9Y

  • Nounverb911
  • Nounverb911
  • William Cook

    It looks like the release is announcing a closed hearing on May 2nd, with an open one to be scheduled after that.

    • Sister the Resister

      Oh fer chrissakes, TRANSPARENCY, PEOPLE!!! I guess there could be reasons, what with how complicated this has become, but sheesh, how about giving the public a little credit… just a bit?

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