全 74 件のコメント

[–]SnapshillBotPassing Turing Tests since 1956 81 ポイント82 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Europe didn't have civilization until the enlightened Nubian-Zimbabwe Culture graciously shared their gifts of intelligence with the primitive Celts.

Snapshots:

  1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp, ceddit.com, archive.is*

  2. this... thing - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  3. for murdering a guy - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  4. for similar reasons. - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  5. source - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  6. this source - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  7. Celtic Warriors - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  8. this source - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

  9. to settle and gather valuable resou... - archive.org, megalodon.jp, archive.is*

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[–]GirlGargoyleSnapple Cap Historian 69 ポイント70 ポイント  (7子コメント)

This... wow. I started off with a Sensible Chuckle at the usual Buzzfeed-quality "factoids" you see everywhere by people with only a marginal knowledge trying to impress teens with "well it's sorta kinda slightly true if you squint," but by the end I was hoping for some of whatever the original creator was on. Fly agaric I presume, like a berserker who lives in the woods!

Frankly I hope the same creator did sets of these for Spartans and Ninja too.

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 114 ポイント115 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Spartan Facts: Spartans traveled to Athens in the hope of discovering a race of monsters but instead found the indigenous people who they referred to as "Persians" which means "People from Rome"

[–]PendragonDaGreatThe Knight is neither spherical nor in a vacuum. The cow is both 34 ポイント35 ポイント  (0子コメント)

twitch

[–]LivendusUppsala: The FIRST first Rome 28 ポイント29 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Often times, Spartan shields were not made with bathrooms.

[–]Larkos17 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Are you only supposed to take flairs from posts or are comments okay?

[–]LivendusUppsala: The FIRST first Rome 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If there are any rules about flairs then break them, be a rebel like a true viking!

[–]dorylinusMercator projection is a double-pronged tool of oppression 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

AFAIK, they're pretty much all from comments

[–]dannaz423PhD in Crusader Kings II 51 ポイント52 ポイント  (22子コメント)

I laughed so hard at the longships not having bathrooms. I just can't understand what the person was thinking, what would a bathroom on a longship look like? Why would you even need one on a longship? I would love to get this person to talk more about longships.

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 48 ポイント49 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I liked that he said they 'often' didn't have bathrooms. Like there's one or two longships out there with a full bathroom on board.

[–]atomfullereneHistory before 1837 is a fabrication of the Victorians 24 ポイント25 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I'm not sure about anything having a bathroom at this time period and region, but I'm picturing a longship towing a little dinghy with an outhouse on board.

[–]The740Rommel was more honorable than Grove, less than Earnshaw 26 ポイント27 ポイント  (2子コメント)

And for everyone else, they had the poop deck.

[–]atomfullereneHistory before 1837 is a fabrication of the Victorians 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Of course, how could I forget

[–]DirishJudyism had one big God named Yahoo 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (1子コメント)

"Gø øn a Viking cruise with Harøld Kryssningsfartyg. We håve løvely øpen-plån cåbins with the låtest in out-suite båthrøøm fåcilities for your cømført. Nøw with å generous free 200kg plunder ålløwance!"

[–]killswitch247If you want to test a man's character, give him powerade. 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hurtigruten West ASA

[–]EquinoxActualAll hail Obama, the Waterlord. 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

For that matter, any ships at all before the proliferation of the flushing toilet.

[–]dv12900 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Hey where would you pee if you were stuck on a boat you animal.

[–]Medieval-EvilEurope is just a figment of our imagination 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Did you know Viking longships didn't have satellite navigation?

[–]rroach/r/badhistory: Cunningham's law in action 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Who needs bathrooms? You've got one hand for the throwin' and one hand for the wipin'.

[–]dannaz423PhD in Crusader Kings II 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

What about the rowin'?

[–]rroach/r/badhistory: Cunningham's law in action 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Little know fact: Viking longboats were actually boogie boards. They were powered by kicking their legs in the water. And boardshorts. And surf music, played on whatever weird-ass instruments Vikings used.

[–]DeathandHemingway 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Keytars, which they referred to as 'axes'.

[–]pronhaul2012literally beria 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (5子コメント)

So just curious. How would they have pooped? Just like poop overboard or were there buckets or what? I assume the standards for ship board anal cleaning weren't good either. Can't waste fresh water on your butthole on a ship.

[–]Kichigai 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I would assume a bucket. Ever hear of a chamber pot?

[–]dannaz423PhD in Crusader Kings II 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Just over the edge I'd assume, that's how I do it anyway. And yeah cleaning was not common, maybe just grab some salt water and see how it goes.

[–]pronhaul2012literally beria 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Wouldn't it be rather dangerous to perch on the edge of the ship like that? I wonder how many Vikings died in tragic pooping accidents.

[–]dannaz423PhD in Crusader Kings II 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The vikings welcomed death.

[–]pronhaul2012literally beria 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm sure Odin would let those who died in battle with a particularly nasty turd into Valhalla.

[–]CageweekReligion is the sole cause for wars 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I like to picture some guy with chainmail sitting on the bathroom in a swaying ship during a wild storm, being slightly agitated that he can't have some peace and quiet.

[–]DirishJudyism had one big God named Yahoo 37 ポイント38 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Picture 8 has a bunch of time travelling vikings who did some duty free clothing shopping in the 16th Century Gallowglass fashion section. One is wearing a Spanish style 16-17th century Morion helmet, and the right one is wearing a 16th century Burgonet. Also they must have watched the TV show Vikings because they brought a monk along.

9 - shields can always be used offensively, just talk to the Romans. But that spike sounds like total fiction. I've never seen it mentioned anywhere.

Number 12 is Haakon the Good, a Norwegian king who tried to introduce Christianity to Norway. So nothing to do with games. In the picture he's trying to make the farmers give up their yuletide sacrifice, but is forced to capitulate and participate in the ceremony without sneaking in any Christian symbols or gestures.

Number 13 is the Viking from the game "War of the Vikings" I think. No idea if the game is at least realistic in the armour and weaponry it gives the vikings.

The last one looks like it's ripped straight out of a Boris Vallejo fantasy collection. Urgh, horned helmets.

[–]Milithistorian 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Picture 14 is also from the game Mount and Blade: Warband

[–]maqusan 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I swear that image gets dragged out so often around the Swedosphere to represent some idealized pinnacle of Swedehood that is being diluted by brown skinned foreigners it'd make your head spin.

Especially insane when you realize that the game in question was created by a Turkish development team.

[–]ByzantineBasileusHAIL CYRUS! 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And that the genes for light skin originated from brown-skinned neolithic immigrants from the Middle-East. Brown skin represents a lightening of human pigmentation after the population moved out of Africa, not some "darkening" of pure indigenous Europeans.

[–]DirishJudyism had one big God named Yahoo 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

the game in question was created by a Turkish development team

But surely they're all pure-blood descendants of Varangians. /s

[–]iLiveWithBatman 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Especially insane when you realize that the game in question was created by a Turkish development team.

Especially delicious irony.

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, 9 looks like a regular shield boss to me. Also the guy in the last picture doesn't need armor because he gets his belt buckles from the WWE.

[–]BZH_JJMWelcome to /r/AskReddit adventures in history! 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Having googled "Gallowglass" on multiple occasions, that is one of the first images to pop up.

[–]ByzantineBasileusHAIL CYRUS! 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (11子コメント)

It is a pet peeve of mine about the obsession with Vikings at times. Usually it is talking about how they are unbeatable, almighty warriors who were the archetypes of what men should be. Alternatively, there are the racists who uphold Vikings to be the purest example of the Nordic master race. That being said, this image is still hilarious:

https://occidentinvicta.files.wordpress.com/2014/06/wimpy-swedes.jpg

[–]BrowsOfSteel 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Shameful spear discipline.

[–]ByzantineBasileusHAIL CYRUS! 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Shamfurr Dispray!

Wait, wrong game.

[–]LivendusUppsala: The FIRST first Rome 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Your mockery makes my VIKING blood boil! Holmgång at dawn, we'll fight with berserker rage at twenty paces!

But yeah it can get tiring. You make me think of a YouTube video for the song 'Herr Mannelig'. While it's labeled a Swedish Folk Song the video itself is mostly stills from tv-show Vikings and various other pictures of fearsome Viking warriors.

The song itself is a medieval ballad about a troll woman who's in love with a knight.

[–]Aifendragon 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I love the song, but almost every comment on every video is about how it shows that proud Germanic pagan types need to stand up to immigrants. Ignoring that Herr Mannelig is most definitely Christian.

[–]LivendusUppsala: The FIRST first Rome 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I even prefer the neo-pagans who cry out about how the song is an allegory for pagan oppression to that!

[–]Aifendragon 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Yeah, that's mostly just harmless wibbling. There are a seriously unpleasant number of people who are only interested in the Early Medieval period because they have some bizzaro racial purity idea about it, though...

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Holmgång at dawn, we'll fight with berserker rage at twenty paces!

Does that involve just standing there and screaming at each other until one of you dies or...?

[–]Luhood 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Everyone knows the Dragonborn was based on a true story.

[–]CageweekReligion is the sole cause for wars 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And then we have the other side of the stupid spectrum, where there are people who think that vikings were petty, naked raiders who had almost no armour and couldn't hold a stable government. These people usually have a different thing they romanticize. Like the knights or samurai or w/e.

[–]UdontlikecakePro-Crypto Fascist 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I like the thing where people hold up the Vikings as these brutal warriors that killed and pillaged and everyone is like "yeah fuck yeah what cool dudes!"

Then they turn around and say "Islamic conquest of Europe? Bunch of violent savages trying to ruin Europe!"

[–]Z3IRO 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's because the Vikings were white, simple as that.

[–]El-Wrongo 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Shields are a part of a weapon system, they are not solely a defensive thing. Any attack will invariably involve the shield, either to ward their offensive approaches or to strike with, either with the edge or with the boss even. The shape of the viking shield actually suggest that it was very involved in offensive combat, both for striking and other things.

[–]rattatatouilleHOLLYWOOD DUAL-WIELD! DRINK! 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Yeah but video games have told me shields only increase defense

[–]DirishJudyism had one big God named Yahoo 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You really ought to get the Shield Bash perk in more games. I find few things as enjoyable as shield bashing the shit out of enemies in Skyrim and the Shield Charge perk is crazy powerful.

[–]CageweekReligion is the sole cause for wars 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I once spent like half an hour in Skyrim just shield charging people in third person. It looks so stupid. It's incredibly strong too.

[–]Nightmare_Pasta 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

That's one thing that has always bothered me about TV/movies. Those shields are weapons too guys, they're not just for blocking

[–]El-Wrongo 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Quite often they are counterweights o.O

[–]Zugwat 10 ポイント11 ポイント  (5子コメント)

I cannot find any sources to support this idea, either, it seems like they were travelling there to settle and gather valuable resources.

They were mostly Christian farmers from Greenland and Iceland. Everyone likes to make it sound as if Ragnarr Loðbrók himself came to Canada to raid the New World and was repelled by the Proto-Beothuk.

Also it seems the Norse name for the natives was skrælingjar which could possibly mean 'coarse fellows' or 'subhuman

There's "Screaming-Ones" from "Skræma", "Shouting-Ones" from "Skrækja", "Leather-Ones" from "Skrá", also the usual "Pygmie/Weakling" (can't remember what the origin of that one is, will update) that many people find appropriate to the über macho view of Vikings.

The first two would take into account the war cries of the war party that Þōrvaldr encountered after killing 8 Proto-Beothuk tribesmen.

[–]ByzantineBasileusHAIL CYRUS! 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Everyone likes to make it sound as if Ragnarr Loðbrók himself came to Canada to raid the New World and was repelled by the Proto-Beothuk.

You can't prove that Ragnarr did not not go to Canada!

[–]Zugwat 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I can prove that I did and I didn't see him there.

But seriously, whenever this shows up as a TIL they act as if it was 4 cavemen slaughtering 20 marines.

[–]ByzantineBasileusHAIL CYRUS! 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well, Marines can't really read, so getting the map wrong and ending up in Canada during the Medieval period isn't such a stretch.....

[–]Zugwat 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

But then how did they teach the Olmec how to build pyramids if they can't read?

[–]ByzantineBasileusHAIL CYRUS! 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dude, that was hundreds of thousands of years earlier and it involved the Annunaki. Get with the program!

[–]GeekCat 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Someone got a little excited watching the TV show.

[–]Aifendragon 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I humbly recommend you submit this to r/shitthoraboossay, as a) it's perfect for the sub and b) we don't get a lot of content, particularly not high quality...

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Sure, why not.

[–]Aifendragon 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

That's the sort of enthusiasm we like to see!

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I strive to be stoic like the Viking Ubermensch of yore and only display blood-curdling rage against my enemies.

[–]Aifendragon 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

And quite right too.

[–]CageweekReligion is the sole cause for wars 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Whoever wrote this must be a massive norsaboo. Reading this as a Norwegian is really just cringy. I'm apalled by the fact it got like 4000 upboats on imgur too - that's a lot of people believing in fucking horseshit.

[–]XealeonAthens is not a Boat[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

To Imgur's credit a decent chunk of the comment were calling it out as unsourced bullshit so it's not a completely lost cause.

[–]NekraTahorLady Hitler (Baker) 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I've watched a Lindybeige video about Berserkers, in which he said they were actually more like Champions, who fought in disputes for their liege and wore Bear-skin as a sort of status symbol, instead of just crazy bloodthirsty barbarians who'd rush into combat naked and probably get killed in 12 seconds.

[–]miraoister 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

"some vikings"