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They really should open up a foreign agent registration kiosk on the White House lawn. Maybe it could double as a food truck for when Bannon’s blood sugar gets low! Because now, one day after we learned that former Trump campaign foreign policy adviser Carter Page has been the subject of FISA warrants over how he’s most likely been working as a Russian spy, we are learning that Trump campaign manager Paul Manafort, one of Donald Trump’s oldest foreign agent friends, from back in the heady days of the 1970s when foreign agents would don their finest clothes and go puss-grabbing together at Studio 54, is offering to go ahead and register as a foreign agent, retroactively, for all the work he’s done on behalf of Foreign:

President Donald Trump’s former campaign chairman Paul Manafort will register with the Justice Department as a foreign agent for lobbying work he did on behalf of political interests in Ukraine, led at the time by a pro-Russian political party, his spokesman said Wednesday.

Manafort is the second Trump campaign adviser to have to register as a foreign agent since the election. The confirmation that he intends to register comes as the Trump administration has been facing heavy scrutiny over the foreign ties of former campaign advisers and other Trump associates.

By registering retroactively, Manafort will be acknowledging that he failed to properly disclose his work to the Justice Department as required by federal law.

Michael Flynn, former national security adviser, had to register as a foreign agent, specifically for his work on behalf of the Turkish government, and now Manafort is doing this, and meanwhile poor Carter Page is just the dumbest little Russian spy ever. Manafort and Page, notably, have offered to testify before the House Intelligence Committee in its investigation of the Trump Russia scandal, as has Roger Stone, who would probably go ahead and register as a foreign agent, if he weren’t too busy getting assassinated by the Deep State. Flynn is meanwhile begging for immunity in exchange for his testimony, and everybody is telling him to fuck right off.

Of course, this Manafort news comes on the heels of OTHER Manafort news, about how he took a bunch of money from a pro-Russian political party and proceeded to lie about it. (This is different from how he was making $10 million per year at one point to do work “for Putin’s benefit.” That was a contract with a Russian oligarch. Today’s thing involves a pro-Russia Ukrainian dictator.)

In August, the New York Times reported there was a secret ledger in Ukraine showing $12.7 million in payments for Manafort from the pro-Russian Ukrainian ruling party of former Ukraine president Viktor Yanukovych. At the time of the Times report, Manafort’s lawyer was like “Nah, bro, that didn’t happen” and said such accusations were political smears. But now the Associated Press reports that Manafort was lying about all that, because he definitely got paid Russia Bucks by those pro-Russia fucks:

… [F]inancial records newly obtained by The Associated Press confirm that at least $1.2 million in payments listed in the ledger next to Manafort’s name were actually received by his consulting firm in the United States. They include payments in 2007 and 2009, providing the first evidence that Manafort’s firm received at least some money listed in the so-called Black Ledger.

The two payments came years before Manafort became involved in Trump’s campaign, but for the first time bolster the credibility of the ledger. They also put the ledger in a new light, as federal prosecutors in the U.S. have been investigating Manafort’s work in Eastern Europe as part of a larger anti-corruption probe.

Yeah? What say you now about this, Paul Manafort?

In a statement to the AP on Tuesday, Manafort did not deny that his firm received the money but said “any wire transactions received by my company are legitimate payments for political consulting work that was provided. I invoiced my clients and they paid via wire transfer, which I received through a U.S. bank.”

Manafort noted that he agreed to be paid according to his “clients’ preferred financial institutions and instructions.”

OH, you mean THOSE payments? Paul Manafort didn’t know you were talking about THOSE payments.

And furthermore!

The two payments in 2007 and 2009, totaling $1.2 million, were routed through shell companies in Belize to a bank account in Virginia belonging to Mr. Manafort’s consulting firm. […]

Mr. Manafort has previously claimed the ledger is a fake. On Wednesday, he issued a statement that did not dispute the ledger entries, but suggested that any payments he received were legal because they were not made in cash.

If you’d like to go down a rabbit hole of weird and murky Manafort financial dealings, the Associated Press has you covered, so we won’t get too far in the weeds with it. Basically it’s just a bunch of weird, skeevy money being laundered all over the place (ALLEGEDLY), and a metric fuckton of it ended up in Paul Manafort’s pocket. The AP also reminds us that Manafort is being investigated for his financial dealings in Cyprus, which, if you’ll remember, is the island nation where Russians like to do a lot of their money laundering.

Hey, any more Paul Manafort news, or are we ready to say fuck this guy? Trick question, the answer is both “fuck this guy” and also there is other news, namely that just after Donald Trump canned Manafort from his campaign in August of 2016, Manafort immediately created a shell company that took out a total of $13 million in loans from Trump-affiliated lenders, “including one that partners with a Ukrainian­-born billionaire and another led by a Trump economic adviser.” Oh, that all sounds totally normal. The name of the shell company? Summerbreeze.

Anyway, we’re sure he needed the money for very important and legal reasons, but it’s weird how that all happened after he worked on the Trump campaign, since all the work he did there was “for free.” Also, the $9.5 million loan from the “Trump economic adviser” came from a bank that “focuses on affordable mortgages for military veterans,” so maybe he was just getting an affordable $9.5 million house for a military veteran.

What say you about THESE weird financial things, Paul Manafort?

“There is nothing out of the ordinary about [the loans],” Mr. Manafort said, “and I am confident anyone who isn’t afflicted with scandal fever will come to the same conclusion.”

OK, we will let the FBI decide that.

Again, if you want to dive into the murky details, head to the New York Times. If you want to say fuck it, play hooky from reading all the things and just assume Paul Manafort needs to go to jail, we’re OK with that too.

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[Politico / AP / New York Times]

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  • Me not sure

    Two words : Mob ties.

    • vivian

      Made in China? No! These ties are made in Russia!

    • msanthropesmr

      Meaning like a Sicilian necktie? Or more like a tacky

      • Me not sure

        Organized crime is now a multi-national concern. The Russian oligarchs do it better than anybody. I recommend the book “Once Upon A Time In Russia” by Ben Mezrich if you can find it. He wrote the book that the movie “The Social Network” was based on.

  • msanthropesmr

    Food trucks. But no 🌮 Trucks.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Too soon. :(

  • proudgrampa
  • wide_stance_hubby

    It’s almost as if all his criminal-looking associates really are criminal-looking criminals.

  • FlemmishSpy

    It was John Miller’s idea to get involved with this guy.

    • jesterpunk

      John Barron was also involved.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Barron Trump also, too

        • jesterpunk

          I hear he is really good at the cyber.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            He seems a bit young to be spanking it online, but kids these days are very mature.

          • jesterpunk

            This is what that comment was in reference to. But he is also Trump’s son so you never know.

            https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/09/27/the-answer-that-best-exemplifies-how-badly-donald-trump-was-out-of-his-depth-in-the-debate/

            So we have to get very, very tough on cyber and cyber warfare. It is —
            it is a huge problem. I have a son. He’s 10 years old. He has computers.
            He is so good with these computers, it’s unbelievable. The security
            aspect of cyber is very, very tough. And maybe it’s hardly doable.

          • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

            I knew it was referencing Trump’s appointing Barron to the NSA cybersecurity task force. Just trying (AND FAILING!) to make a funny

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    It it too soon to buy stock in the bespoke orange jumpsuit sector?

  • proudgrampa

    “Jasmine in my mind…”

    That really was a great song. Can’t believe that time seems so freakin’ innocent.

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      It was a better song back when I thought the lyric was “Summers Eve”

      • proudgrampa

        Strawberry flavor?

        • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

          I have no exposure to the various flavors of that particular product

    • nightmoth

      Can’t believe I was ever 18 and thought I could Change The World. May have to take a news break for a while before I self-destruct.

    • Marion in Savannah

      I’ve got jasmine in my mind — the jasmine on our back fence is starting to bloom. It smells like heaven.

    • proudgrampa

      “lasting peace”???

      Jesus Christ – this guy has the vocabulary of a fifth grader.

      • eka

        eh, i think this work of genius was written by an aide. it lacks the absurdity of a pure trump tweet.

        • wide_stance_hubby

          Needs moar stewpit for authenticity.

          • Vincent Ricola

            and “lasting piece”

          • eka

            also too, just one exclamation point? Sad!! and nobody insulted? what’s the point?!

        • artem1s

          Ivanka speak

      • Crank Tango

        “lasting peace” sounds like words that will drop you 5 approval points among republicans.

        • eka

          i’ve had the ending of masked and anonymous in my head since I read the line “this is a new era” from sessions, so here’s a quote from that:

          “Peace, a lasting peace, can only be achieved through strength. So, in my first act as the new President, as the leader of the new government, this new regime, we will begin to deploy troops immediately to the southern regions, we will resume the bombing in the jungle.”

    • Chadwells

      WTFF?!?

    • Vincent Ricola

      You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      Well, I suppose everyone being dead from nuclear exchange would create a “lasting peace” in a way…

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Aww, he wants to buy the world a Coke (meanwhile, the world wants to buy him a. . .vote?).

    • FlemmishSpy

      Where is my unicorn?

    • Asterix

      Translation: Everyone bend over and kiss your ass goodbye.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      That sounds to me like he’s pretty much bragging that the last week was all theater. I did say we’ll find out if that’s the case because he’s too much of a braggart to keep it to himself.

      Putin must be tearing somebody else’s hair out – all that work and he fucks it up again.

    • The Rain in Spain’s Therapist

      I guess Putin showed him the pee pee video last night.

    • The Wanderer

      “Everyone will come to their senses.”
      At how many seconds before impact?

    • kaydenpat

      And lasting money for my pockets!!

    • Nockular cavity

      Well, that’s not unnerving at all. (Reaches for bottle.)

      • It’s empty, I finished it

        • Crystalclear12

          Seriously, buy in bulk!!

    • Crank Tango

      No shit. This is all pro wrestling on an international scale, only both of these dickheads are the heel.

    • Jenny

      He can’t even Palpatine right!

    • schmannity

      Damn spellcheck strikes Trump. Not “lasting peace” it was “tasting pees.”

      • BrianW

        Well I don’t like the taste of peas eith. . . Ohhhhh. Never Mind!

    • Little Lulu Ω

      Except America will be known as “Dystopia” by then. Sad. Thanks, Obama.

    • artem1s

      Well goodie for you Donnie, you asshole. Just take the Ms Congeniality trophy and go home already, mkay?

    • cmd resistor

      I think it will happen when the moon is in the second half and Jupiter aligns with Mars.

  • eka

    can i just assume the entire party needs to go to jail? because i’m getting tired trying to keep track. it’s like treason bingo with 25 cards.

    • Vincent Ricola

      Yes. I’ve been doing it since May 2016.

    • kaydenpat

      All of them, Katie.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Republicans really seem to love putting unqualified people with scary foreign money laundering ties in charge of all the things. I wonder why?

    • Crank Tango

      Make America Grift Again™

    • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

      It’s a feature, not a bug when your end game is a failure of a government to prove that government doesn’t work.

  • Crank Tango

    LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP! (you know the rest)

  • Chadwells
  • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

    Maybe he should try not lying for a while? See how that goes for him.

    • kaydenpat

      But all of them lie. It’s who they are.

      • eka

        i bet if they took lie detector tests they’d get false positives if they tried to tell the truth, it’s so unnatural for them.

    • BrianW

      But how would he breathe if he can’t open his mouth, huh? CHECKMATE LIBTARD!!!!!!! 11!!

      • vivian

        2 birds 1 Roger

  • onedollarjuana

    “There is nothing out of the ordinary about [the loans]”. So sayeth myriad drug cartel bosses and mafia dons.

    • The Wanderer

      “I’m a legitimate businessman!” screamed the fence as the cops led him away.

  • Rick Hill

    Which laws have they broken?
    Aot,K.

    Seriously, watch it and soon we’ll have someone rape, robbery, murder, sex trafficking….

    • eka

      remember the days when we were scandalized because men in power like to use that power to sex up young women? and europe was like “hahaha you think that’s surprising?” well, we’ve grown up, I guess.

      And the idiotic optimism of the US has always defined us. Hopefully we can kill off that optimism and enact protections in the future, but if you look at history and how much death and misery it took for other countries to care about their citizens … well, it could get ugly.

      • jesterpunk

        Remember when the huge scandal from the President was the first lady saying kids should eat healthy food and exercise?

        • eka

          It’s like they wanted to kill businesses and destroy jobs! Who will buy the new gaming systems and cheddar-choco-krisp-puffs? It’s incredible the country survived that terrorism.

        • Claire

          “That black woman can’t tell us hard-working white people how to raise our kids! Junior, you’re living on Twinkies from now on.”

          • jesterpunk

            The worst part is people actually did that, they made sure their kids didnt exercise or eat healthy food just to stick it to Michelle Obama.

          • Claire

            I can’t even be sad about that anymore, to be honest. Sucks for the kids, but if racist white people want to accelerate their downward morbidity and mortality spiral, I’m not going to stand in their way. Die of spite, die of Twinkies, die because all your rural hospitals go bust, if people are that determined to live in misery they’ll find a way no matter who’s in the White House.

    • Crank Tango

      Yeah well, Trump never tore any tags off of mattresses at least.

      Come to think of it, his hotels probably did.

      • Rick Hill

        Looking at how they cut costs at Mar A Lago don’t doubt they’ve bought something cheap and torn the labels off to hide it

    • Thiazin Red

      Wasn’t there already with Trump Models? I know that story didn’t get much play.

  • “Scandal Fever” is the title of my new collection of erotica.

    • proudgrampa

      Not a bad name for my new hard rock jug band.

  • Chadwells

    BTW…love that song. Takes me back. Makes me feel fine.

    • proudgrampa

      I got to see Seals and Crofts in concert way back when. Oh, those were the days…

      • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

        Oh gramps, me too. And Harry Chapin twice in a local amphitheater. Those were the days.

  • schmannity

    Summerbreeze sounds like a douche for a douche.

  • kaydenpat

    “By registering retroactively, Manafort will be acknowledging that he failed to properly disclose his work to the Justice Department as required by federal law.”

    “failed to properly disclose” or lied? Let’s keep it real.

    • Must remember that – “GOP stalwart, Secretary Bonker, failed to properly disclose to his wife the intimate relations he had with 4 typists, 6 pageboys, 2 alpacas and a blow-up doll of Donald Trump on the night of July 4,”

    • artem1s

      I prefer the term ‘perjure’

  • Mpeg

    Manafort… Carter Page.. Flynn..

    “And you get a foreign agent registration… and YOU get one – – and you, and YOUgetaforeignagentregistration!”

    • Chadwells

      Lest we forget President Kushner’s inappropriate Russian fondling.

  • Michael R
    • Marion in Savannah

      Look — Lori changed her name to Lorena!

    • Kiri the Unicorn

      And he bought a Range Rover?

  • schmannity

    I love my country, but a million here, ten million there, I could be persuaded to put in a good word for some Russian goon.

    • jesterpunk

      Those russian goons pay better then George Soros does. I am still waiting for my checks from Soros for supporting Hillary.

      • schmannity

        INR? I held a “Join the Conversation” sign for hours and he won’t return my calls.

  • FlownΩver

    Great. A Seals & Crofts earworm. There goes the day.

    • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

      Don’t complain, or I’ll post Hummingbird.

  • Jenny

    Many money laundering!

  • So, which of these shitweasels is going to be the first to flee to a country with no extradition treaty? I’m honestly shocked it hasn’t happened already, frankly.

    • snark-lurker

      i am afeared no (R) will get in any [serious] trouble, over anything, in the foreseeable future

      • Little Doll

        *sigh* True. I kept waiting for someone from the Bush admin to pay, and that never happened either.

    • artem1s

      The Ecuadorian embassy in London is gonna get really, really crowded. Hope Assange gets Bannon as a roomy.

      • Ghenghis McCann

        That might count as “cruel and unusual punishment.” But for which one of them?

  • FlemmishSpy

    Lots of people route large payments from foreign countries through Belize. Nothing so see here.

    • eka

      i hear that the soros protester payments are being routed through guatemala. that must be why it’s taking so long.

      • FlemmishSpy

        I’m dying without my sorosBucks. Now I have to shop TJ’s because I can’t afford Whole Foods.

        • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

          Wait, you’re supposed to afford Whole Paycheck Whole Foods? I thought the idea was the ones who couldn’t pay the bill were assigned to churning the organic butter?

    • Thiazin Red

      I was also unaware of the “its not illegal if its not in cash” rule. I’ll keep that in mind if I ever feel the need to pay someone to commit a crime.

      • beingreleased

        “I didn’t pay taxes on it. I didn’t think it counted.”

    • Vincent Ricola

      My Christmas Club account is set up to route through a bank in Belize before getting deposited into my credit union account. Everyone does it.

      • Crank Tango

        I’ve got a stamp card for that. The prizes you can earn are unbelizable.

        • proudgrampa

          Blenders. I want a new blender.

          • Crank Tango

            The best blenders! Great for making borsht and polonium margaritas! You can even use them to crush blow and cut it with your propecia! Unsad!!

          • Blender_415

            I am the best blender!

        • WhiskeyTangoFoxtrot

          I thought you could only get washers and dryers, you know, for the LAUNDRY.

  • Asterix
    • cmd resistor

      Oops.

    • cmd resistor

      “What that means is that we – as reporters and as a concerned public – should probe these relationships on their own terms just as much as the most logical place to hunt looking for the evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Moscow. Perhaps another way to put it is, let’s find that needle. But don’t forget the haystack is a huge story in itself. It may end up being the bigger one. That story goes not only to Donald Trump but what US law enforcement and intelligence knew about Donald Trump, his connections to the world of oligarchs and organized crime long before the DNC’s and John Podesta’s emails started appearing out of thin air to help saw the 2016 election. There is a whole lot there.”
      Yeah, they need to do Farhrenholt style digging. Get out the legal pads and pens.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    A man, a fort, Panama!

  • Thiazin Red

    Well okay, but this one guy from a country that gave money to the Clinton foundation was going on an important diplomatic mission and asked for a special passport but didn’t get it. So both sides are totally the same.

  • ManchuCandidate

    There’s a man who’s made a career on Russian anger
    To Ukranians he’s a real danger
    With every election he fakes
    Another democracy breaks
    Odds are good he gets the check tomorrow

    Foreign Agent Man
    Foreign Agent Man
    They’ve given you a Caymens account number and Manafort’s your name

    • wait! what?

      I can see Chumbawumba singing this.

  • artem1s

    OT. If only sweet, sweet karma would intercede and eliminate the Cheeto Stain by hoisting him on his own inept petard…
    http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/health-violations-trump-mar-a-lago-kitchen

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Come for the beautiful chocolate cake, stay for the botulism.

      • vivian

        Botulism makes you Botox-beautiful from the inside™.

    • Ghenghis McCann

      Bush Senior threw up on the Japanese Prime Minister. Now foreign dignitaries know where to go when they want to throw up on Trump.

  • Chadwells

    What what? This was sooooo long ago…like 3/28/17. Anything come of it?

    “Russian banker who met with Jared Kushner has ties to Putin”

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.cnn.com/cnn/2017/03/27/politics/kushner-meeting-russian-banker-tied-to-putin/index.html

    • jesterpunk

      Of course they do, if someone on Trump’s staff didnt meet with Russia that would be more of a surprise.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Search Manafort’s library for a copy of Meyer Lansky’s Econ 101

  • mfp

    these fucking idiot assholes really think that by registering as foreign agents now, after months of denying and lying about being foreign agents…that makes everything move-along-nothing-to-see-here-folks-OK?…khaa-ryst, these mothafuckas are ballsy…welcome to 21st century ‘murrica, where stupid-but-ballsy rules

    • Claire

      I don’t think they think it makes it okay, except in the minds of their stupider and more fanatical voters. I think they’re hoping it will make the eventual sentencing lighter.

    • Crystalclear12

      They got an orange Cheeto elected to highest office in the land. I am guessing the estimation of our intelligence is pretty low. . . and apparently accurate.

    • eka

      the trump voter closest to me in the office spent three hours yesterday talking about sunscreen and skin care products. you really think these people are paying attention enough to be infuriated?

  • Crystalclear12

    Can we hurry this up? If they interrupt my fall TV for hearings I am going to be pissed!

  • wait! what?

    Paul Manafort is obviously the love child of Michael J Fox and Hugh Downs.

    • Shucky Ducky

      So, the son of the anti-Elvis?

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        ISWYDT ;)

    • vivian

      Hugh Downs Syndrome?

      • wait! what?

        Fair, but Michael would call that a shaky analogy.

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        LMFAO!!! First laugh of the day and I thank you for it! :)

    • Terpsichord

      damn. Gotta wipe down the screen AGAIN!

    • DerpyGurdyMan

      no offense to Michael J, but I was thinking Manafort looks like he’s about to bust out in a Parkinson’s fit in that photo up top

  • coozledad

    The shell company Carter Page receives his laundered cash through? Summer’s Eve.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Comes with a convenient cash applicator.

  • Michael R

    <— might be tempted by 10 million dollars , wink wink

  • SweetDeeKat

    “Summerbreeze?” Isn’t that a douche?

    • wait! what?

      Makes you feel fined, in this case.

    • Anna Rompage

      And works well as a salad dressing too!

    • proudgrampa

      Hey! Stop making fun of my song, you guys!

    • Anna Rompage

      Summer breeze,
      makes you feel fine,
      as you flush out
      all of the gunk
      from your insides…

  • Anna Rompage

    I assure you all of this is perfectly legal, and if by change you get caught with your pants down, you can retroactively correct it by filling out a couple papers and paying a small fee…

    BTW, does a campaign manager get security clearance, and if so, do they sit in on classified briefings?

    If they do sit in on classified briefings, and have security clearance while working as an unregistered foreign agent, isn’t that potentially treason/espionage?

    • Little Doll

      Why does this behavior remind me of Renaissance Rome and rich people being able to retroactively pay the church money to have their sins forgiven?

      • Anna Rompage

        Did I miss something, I thought you could still do that with most churches…

        • Little Doll

          LOL, good point!

          It just struck me in comparison, since I’ve been reading Barbara Tuchman’s “The March of Folly” lately. The greed of the popes in selling favors enabled Lutheranism. Makes me wonder what this will eventually enable?

          • Ducksworthy

            More like a retroactive hunting license where I shoot a moose without a license and get caught so I buy a license. Do I get to keep the moose? How about squirrel?

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          There’s nothing in this country that can’t be fixed with a check.

      • puredog

        “Indulgence” is Trump’s middle name.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      There is nothing out of the ordinary with being caught with my pants down and anyone not afflicted with pants fever will come to the same conclusion.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    In all seriositude – what’s it gonna take? I don’t know if they’re ever going to get a recorded phone conversation that contains something like…

    “You vill encourage Russia to find Hillary’s emails”
    “Da, comrade”
    “Ven you are President, you vill destroy America from vithin.”
    “Da, Comrade. Long live Mother Russia.”

    You know? I’m sure most things weren’t even discussed – just help Trump, because Trump is bad for America. It’s really kind of that simple.

    So what freakin’ smoking gun can they hope to find, exactly? It’s madness.

    • wait! what?

      None.

      When Donald starts costing corporate America too much money, that’s when he “might” go.

  • Shanzgood

    OT: Guys, baconz is at a 2nd interview/orientation thing right now. He’s not exactly sure what it’s all about but says “I don’t care if it’s a pyramid scheme if it gets me out of this fukkin place.”

    At first, the Goodwill staff weren’t going to let him go today because he would be gone too long. He kicked up a fuss and threatened to call his lawyer about them preventing him from complying with the Court’s job-finding order, so they relented. Three minutes after that, they called him back into the office to tell him his previously approved request to go to Good Friday services was denied (no reason given because they don’t have to). He said some bad words at them and DID talk to his attorney, who was not happy with the retribution stink all over it.

    Not sure what’s going to happen now. He’s worried they’ll “sanction” him for mouthing off or even try to send him back to County. His attorney is going to try to bump up his court date (previously set for 4/25) to try to get him out. Either that or this interview will land him the job he needs to go home.

    Either way, I can’t wait until he’s on the way out the door and tells the OCD staffer who yelled at him for not using gloves to touch the TP in the staff bathroom that he’s rubbed every single roll of it all over his privates.

    • Fingers crossed for Baconz!!!

    • memzilla Ω

      Tell him not to sign anything without talking to his attorney. This has all the stink of a “Performance Improvement Plan” from Corporate — it’s called “getting PIPped” — where they have you sign an agreement to make impossible-to-achieve goals in 30 days and when you don’t, that gives Corporate probable cause to fire you and not have to pay unemployment munniez. I guarantee you Goodwill is making ALL THE MUNNIEZ the longer they keep his body there.

      • Shanzgood

        The only thing I’ve ever heard of him signing was for giving the staff permission to search their lockers….after they’d already searched them.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    I got scandal fever! And the only cure is more indictments.

  • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

    Fuck it. Paul Manafort needs to go to jail.

    The loan for military housing he took out does smell a lot like what created the S&L scandal, though. Can’t teach these guys any new tricks.

  • Edith Prickly

    I only stayed here long enough to listen to the song.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    OT: All this has become too much for me. You guys, I’ve decided that I’m a Republican after all. Moreover, I’ve become an ardent Trump supporter. I’m also going to undergo gender reassignment surgery, convert to Wahhabi Islam, become a militant nudist, and run for governor.

    • Little Doll

      Well, whatever keeps you busy. ;)

    • Ghenghis McCann

      “Ardent Trump”. Now that’s my name for my new carreer as a cheesy cabaret singer on cruise ships.

    • Anna Rompage

      So you’re going to be structuring your life after Gov Paul LePage?

  • The Librarian

    If Manafort’s clothes closet hasn’t caught on fire from all the lying, (ooops, “improperly non-disclosed”) I’ll be amazed.

  • Mavenmaven

    That was all before. The New Trump is now against all that, until the next New Trump.

  • freakishlypersistent

    And yet..I’m still having to restrain myself from rear-ending “MAGA”/”Hillary for Jail” bumper stickers. There’s really nothing these assholes can do that will dissuade the delusionals, other than putting a (D) after their names.

    • cmd resistor

      The other day I had to take a detour due a brush fire closing the road I always take coming back from my mom’s, so I ended up in this little town/neighborhood with no clue. When I stopped to ask the couple walking their dogs for directions, I noticed the house nearby (not theirs, I assume) had the HUGEST Trump flag in the front yard I had ever seen. It was like those monster American flags you see sometimes. Gave me the creeps.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    They really should open up a foreign agent registration kiosk on the White House lawn. Maybe it could double as a food truck for when Bannon’s blood sugar gets low!

    “Will that be a chicken, beef, fish, or veggie taco for you, sir?”

    • davidhollenshead

      They will need to serve the same Taco Salad, that is served at Führer Trump Tower, of course.

  • laughingnome

    The Dumbest Little Russian Spy Ever was my favorite book when I was in first grade.

  • Rick Hill

    Don’t forget how trump was micromanaging his campaign. A lot of lerfing was done at how fcked up it was because of that. There is no way he wasn’t aware of any Russian involvement.

    • davidhollenshead

      Our Führer Trump never engaged in money laundering for the Mafia in the US or for Sanctioned Russian Oligarchs, who are also a form of mafia.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    any payments he received were legal because they were not made in cash

    Money laundering is OK if it’s done on a credit basis? Good to know!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/ca1803f7d416522d8bd803c01b1f1a756d062eec1a87f7a4b276cbd46c6da8c8.jpg

    • Crank Tango

      Are electronic transfers even money? Sounds more like electrons to me.

      • Magyar Has Had It With Trump

        Bitcoin

      • davidhollenshead

        Both elections & money don’t really exist.
        One is a concept for a thing that is both & neither a particle & a wave.
        The other is concept for a thing that only has value, because the people who use it, have decided to give it a value. After all 1930s Germany proved that the real value for currency is as a fire lighter, hence the value of a wheel barrow of currency == a loaf of bread.

        • Crank Tango

          Hey, if the French need a billion(or trillion, whatever) reichsmarks to pay back the US bankers, let’s just print’em some!

  • Relativicus

    Those payments were legally loandered, not illegally laundered. You people just don’t understand finance.

  • boyblue122

    These investigations have apparently been going on for a while

    https://twitter.com/lukeharding1968/status/852517287819190272

    • cmd resistor

      This was pretty interesting! Why the hell did it take so long for things to happen over here, though?

      • boyblue122

        Not sure…maybe the initial investigation by the FBI only had a few agents assigned

        • John Resistant Tovarich Smith

          The rest were on email duty.

          • boyblue122

            basically

      • House0fTheBlueLights

        Because the Repubs have been so successful at demonizing Democrats and Obama that they had to tread absurdly carefully to be able to do anything about this. The destruction of the republic has been happening for a long time, and with malice aforethought.

    • davidhollenshead

      Britain views our Führer Trump as their greatest External Security Threat.

  • NastyBossetti

    suggested that any payments he received were legal because they were not made in cash.
    Wait. When did cash stop being legal tender? Sometimes, I pay at the bar in cash. Am I putting my local bartender in jeopardy? Very Important. Need to know. I have to keep my local bartenders very safe.

    • Rags

      Protect your friendly local barteder! Drink and dash!

      • davidhollenshead

        And soon you will run out of local bars, ended your nasty habit of drinking at bars.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      Makes you wonder about what cash payments he got, because why the fuck would it even occur to someone to make that distinction.

  • eyelashviper

    Meanwhile, the purists on the far left are really mad at Rachel Maddow, even after she went and sold her soul to speak positively of Hillary (snark here), and are now even more furious that she has spent so much useless time picking on those poor Russians (more snark)..

    https://theintercept.com/2017/04/12/msnbcs-rachel-maddow-sees-a-russia-connection-lurking-around-every-corner/

    • cmd resistor

      An old friend keeps posting that stuff on FB, as well as pro-Stein crap. It makes me tired.

      • Every time they do, just go “Thanks for Trump! :)” With a smilie emoji

    • davidhollenshead

      Most of us voted for Secretary Clinton, knowing that she was a Flawed Candidate. However the Democratic Party will not make that mistake again. However, we Democratic Socialists have better things to do than attack Rachel Maddow, for supporting Clinton. Besides, then we would have to attack Senator Sanders, as he too supported Clinton.

  • davidhollenshead

    Führer Trump the TRAITOR & his Brownshirts need to be arrested, and charged for the Capital Crime they clearly committed.

  • smitallica

    So I’m clear:
    Taking money from foreign governments to lobby for our adversary and influence our intentional policy: Totally cool.
    Taking money from foreign governments to buy AIDS and malaria medicine for the third world through your foundation: LOCK HER UP!!!1!!!1
    Did I get that about right?

  • exinkwretch

    The only surprise about Manafort is that he hasn’t “accidently” ingested a fatal dose of polonium by now.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    I am automatically suspicious of consulting work that pays in the millions.

  • DerpyGurdyMan
  • Call me cray cray, but illegal monies does not mean just cash

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