For everyone who likes "muh heritage" SAS, there's a thread with tons of it on ELI5 right now. List of most SAS comments I could find while skimming over it:

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Europeans don't shake hands. I must have grown up in Alternative Germany.

Yeah, I knew a girl who wouldn't shake hands because it's a "European" thing. Said girl was a hick who hadn't left Louisiana until my friend flew her out here. In her defense she spoke fluent German that she learned from her grandmother.

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Ya I feel that way too. I'm Irish, Scottish, Welsh and English but my closet ancestor not born in the US is my Irish great grandmother.
Im from California and my mother and father are too.

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Before people came to the America, threy all lived in the same place for thousands of years without ever changing, being conquered or anything else like that.

When your family line goes back thousands of years in certain countries and youve only uprooted to live in U.S for a generation or two, it makes sense to identify as an italian-american/irish-american etc

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If it doesn't eat like a German, doesn't live like a German, and doesn't talk like a German, then it probably isn't a German.

My own ancestry is German but we arrived in the British colonies of new York almost 400 years ago. We still maintain that we are German somehow even though none of us speak German or have any traditions that could be considered German. So I think it had to do with the fact that English is the ancestry of the USA regardless of where your ancestors came from.

Yes, things are different in North America. It's possibly due to our last name being obviously German that we can even imagine we're German. I suppose if through intermarriage my last name was Jones or something, that German-ness would be lost.

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I guess it's only logical from a nationalist POV to be ashamed of things people living in the same area as you did centuries ago. They conveniently forgot all of the terrible things Americans did, though.

Because they lost the War, never forget.
Additionally, Great Britain has invaded to some extent all but 3 countries in the world. That has to bring a fair amount of shame.

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Oh look, a family analogy!

Because America moved out of their parents and slammed the door screaming "I never wanna see you again! You suck! I'll make it in my own!" And boy did they. Grew up to be a country of their own. Without help from mom and dad which they beat in a fight soon after. Sometimes dishonouring your family can turn you into a powerful thing.

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American English best English! (I really hope this is satire…)

Nah. We cleaned up the language, took out superfluous instances of “u” (honor, humor, armor etc), “o” (fetus, fetid, ameba etc), and “a” (pediatrician, anesthetic etc), and we flipped the endings of certain words (meter, timber etc), swapped out letters (analyze, moralize, tyre etc) and even changed entire spellings (maneuver etc) to make words look like they sound. Hell, we even use the noun form for verbs too sometimes (practice etc) or the reverse (license etc). For a country with such a long-standing dislike of the French the UK kept a lot of their written spellings.

Don't forget, in the States we pronounce aluminum correctly.

Right, but I left it out because I didn't know of another such example to impress further the systemic British wrongness, and also because that's how the guy who discovered it first spelled it, as Wikipedia confirms. Besides that, there's the point that the word “soccer” was also invented by the British, as also confirmed by Wikipedia. I find that supremely ironic 😂

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One serving of plastic burger meat, please.

I'm ¼ Irish.
☘️☘️😀☘️☘️

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Guys, it makes a huge difference if your ancestors migrated a few centuries later than everyone else, even though you're almost completely assimilated within 2-3 generations.

Probably because the majority of the country has no roots in England and those who do have been here for hundreds of years. The Italian-American, Irish-American, ect populations generally immigrated at later dates than the English, not really surprising that families who came over during the late 1800's to early 1900's identify with their ancestors more than families who immigrated much earlier.

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/r/badhistory material right here. Probably could be said about a lot of these.

Actually a heck of a lot of people in England have Nordic heritage. Thank those pesky Vikings and their love of 'sowing their seeds' in foreign lands in non-consensual fashion.

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TIL English people are Hobbits.

I always tell people my family comes from England. We are from a shire. Like a hobbit. I think its pretty cool.

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I'm so proud of what someone I never met did 300 years ago!

Im guitly of this as well and it personally bothers me i am a third generation mutt. When asked about my ancestry it goes irish italian polish and german although i have a strong amount of english features its hardly ever mentioned and if i do its at the end of the rant with "and a little english" i think it may have something to do with a false sense of pride from the revolutionary days haha.

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How would you even get to 33% ancestry, inbreeding? Ignoring that gene tests are bullshit, of course.

My grandfather is 33% British. He didn't have any clue of this until he recently took a genetics test

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TIL Jews never once mixed with Europeans in any way even though they lived next to each other for nearly 1000 years.

And remember, just because they're white doesn't mean their ancestry is UK English. Nearly every white child I went to school with (northeast) was 1st or second generation Greek, russian, or some other eastern European race. I myself present as white (Irish looking even, with pale skin, freckles, green eyes, red hair) but I'm half Sephardic/half Ashkenazi jew, with not a drop of western European blood back at least through my great-great-grandfather

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USA! USA! USA! o7 o7 o7 o7

Since the USA is a melting pot, as they say, I always feel like certain ideas and attitudes makes you American. Historically, this nation was formed surrounding specific believes that a person belongs to him/herself. Your Life, your Liberty and your fruits of your Labor. Having lived in the USA for a while I met people I would not consider real Americans, although born there. That is what makes the USA so unique. It is/was a step for humanity to reach a new level. Selfownership, Land of the Free.

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Darwin was wrong, ones actions do change genes.

Because it is hardwired into American DNA to be anything but English. We had to fight tooth and nail to separate from Britain so for the most part people don't identify culturally.

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Because when we separated from those oligarchs we said fuck yo taxation without representation. And abandon their religiously persecuting, snaggle toothed ways. Brits are cool now tho

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I wonder why they know so much about their ancestry if they don't care about it.

I'm white, a whole bunch of different kinds of white. I'm happy knowing where I am now, and don't take too much 'pride' in the chunk(s) of earth my ancestors were born on. Sure, there is some English that I do not celebrate but there is also German, Scottish, Polish, Swedish, french, Nordish, and Italian that I do not celebrate.

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Considering how family legends tend to develop, they were probably thrown out of some slum.

I'm not proud because my ancestors have been here for a while and they lost my damn castle to queen mary

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I think this is satire, but it wouldn't really surprise me if it wasn't.

I am an American with significant English heritage on my father's side. My ancestors were English colonists, some of whom actively took part in the revolution (my direct ancestor is John Trumbull, signatory to the Declaration of Independence, which technically also makes me super-American (I guess)). My surname is traceable to to the last Anglo-Saxons that ruled just before the Norman conquest (Harold Godwinson was a relative).
I am lucky in that my family has kept good records throughout our history. We still keep after the coat of arms used by the Godwinson family back in the day. I'm very proud of my heritage, though I don't exactly go around talking about it. Just something I quietly take pride in. I do tend to play as England/Britain when I play historical strategy games though.

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Another DNA test.

I am of English decent. Just had my DNA analyzed and was surprised at just how English I am. The families had plenty of generations to diversify the pool and was surprised by how little that has occurred. My last England born ancestor was born in the early 1600's. All Americans beyond that. I would be interested to hear how many England living U.K. Citizens know where their ancestor born in the early 1600's were born. I bet a fair number the answer isn't England. Never the less I bet they self ID as English. They have had as much time as my family to lose any connection to that immigrant ancestor.

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¹⁄₆₄ cherokee princess.

Look I'm a mostly white mutt. It's like russian, german, english, welsh, Cherokee, and black irish. It's kinda hard to identify with any culture except for Southern USA

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Genetics are percentages.

No one will probably see this, but this is my family. I am for a fact from at least 6 different ethnicities/countries. English ,Irish, Scottish, German, Polish, and Italian. But the British heritage is from at least great great great grandparents. The stories they shared about their homeland, their traditions, etc are either lost to time or have been accepted in general as being American. On the other hand, my great grandfather was from Italy, my grandfather was full Italian, and many of the traditions on that side are distinctly Italian. We also make Polish and German food, as my grandma was Polish and German. The recency bias influences it significantly, but it's also more of a percentage thing. 25% Italian is more significant than 15% of the entire British isles.

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Because the ignorance of the Millennial generation is that all "white" people are the same. I actually got into an argument with someone claiming that there are no ethnicities for white people, they're just all white. I brought up Irish, Dutch, Scottish, German, Swedish, Polish, French, Welsh, Norwegian, etc, but was still met with the "Nah they're all just white people" answer. Then when I pointed out that if this same logic was applied to asians, Latinos, or middle eastern people, etc then people would be offended and insist they're not "all the same" and it's wrong to say that ( Japanese, Chinese, Korean, Thai, Vietnamese, etc ) are all just asians with no separate ethnicities.

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Because no red-blooded American wants to talk about being English. We're as un-English as it gets, we kicked em out of our country for good reason....Who wants to be associated with that?

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Clichés upon clichés. I'm not sure what exactly their message is, since they go right back to the clichés at the end.

Simple explanation:
Diametric opposites.
A brit is small, polite, and only dangerous during soccer disputes. But damn can they fight.
A yank is large, loud and boisterous as a general rule. But behind all that hot air is usually nothing.
A brit will get hosed down for 45 continuous minutes with a steam cleaner. What is left will attack you, and then sourly sit on the curb sulking untill someone "Insists" 3rd degree burns should be looked at.
A yank will flinch at the mere idea of being worked over, will fight valiantly, and then head to the supermarket to fix his injuries himself.
A brit keeps the line going, and the head held down.
A yank demands to see the manager, and the nose so far in the air.
A brit enjoys tasteless food, that is entirely self produced. He takes pride in the smallest of ingredients, because he knows, less is often more, and knowing his cheese is from yorkshire is more then enough to make him feel superior.
A yank enjoys overflavored food, in bright unnatural colors, and in sizes that scream to the world, look, I can afford it. He however will not mind the ingredients at all. "Sodium? what's that?".
A brit solves a parking dispute with pointed stares, and weaponized politeness.
A yank solves the mere idea of a parking dispute with a .45 to the chest.
A brit trusts in queen and country, and is secure in his knowledge they will fuck thinks up. He will however fix it himself, as best as he can.
A yank does not trust in his government, but insists it should better do something. He will not fix it, unless there is a volunteering group assigned to it.
A brit has class and quiet bred into him, but can choose to disregard it if neccesary.
A yank has class and quiet bred out of them, and has to remind himself they exist.
But in actuality(Jokes aside)?
Usually, the people who scream the loudest "I am a hyphenated american" are the people that are so utterly bland and tasteless they are desperate for anything to alleviate themselves from the masses (Usually, an irish-american has never actually been to Ireland, much less great britain), and thus go to great extends to glorify the places where their ancestors fucked.
The argument "I am a hyphenated american" is most commonly used when trying to set themself apart from other americans in a vain attempt to gain class and status.
The thing is, english culture is hard to immitate for the average american. Plus, it makes it exceedingly hard to claim english roots when every third redneck can boast his ancestors came over on the mayflower, which in turn makes him even more american.
The usual truth is, english americans are usually very polite, softspoken, and much too orderly to have to hyphenate themselves. They usually just do it by merely knowing they have more class then every american in the room, but would not be caught dead ever hinting at it.

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I mean, if you replace the tea/wine/beer with cola the same could be said about America.

Something about brushing your teeth with a cup of tea after eating horrible food, while actively oppressing 3rd world countries just didn't sound romantic, looking back.

Substitute "tea" for "wine" or "beer" and you have the rest of Europe.

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USA back to back World War champs!

Well after the multiple wars Americans have fought against the British and won. Then bailing them out of WW1, having to show up and defeat 2 powers set on global domination.
Why would anyone want to associate with losers? If anything, at this point, you figure the British would want to associate with Americans.

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There be racists here:

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An interesting fact is that the average Southern English person (London and surroundings) looks rather different than the average white person in the US, even the "British" type. They tend to have a slightly different facial structure. This is mainly due to most immigration coming from the North of England, which has more Celtic admixture, and the US having a lot of "hidden" Central or Eastern European ancestry, mainly German, Russian, and Polish. German-Americans in particular will often not know about their own ancestry since from the 1st War, German-speaking people stopped speaking their language, changed their surnames, and basically auto-suppressed all of their History in order not to be lynched. WW2 didn't make things any easier...

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I'm proud of my English origins, but you're really not allowed to be proud of that in America. Like, for example, a white person could never walk into a crowded room and say "I'm proud to be white!" Being proud to be white means that you're a racist (somehow).
Black people can wear shirts that say "Black is Beautiful" and no one bats an eye. If I walk into a room with a "White is Beautiful" I would probably get asked to leave a public place.
If you're any nationality who has ever been persecuted (Irish, Arab, Jew, etc...) or if the nationality is not white, then you are allowed to be proud of your heritage. Otherwise, there is a cultural norm against it. Sadly.

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Because the English who came here aren't degenerates from a third world country and they integrate like immigrants should

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Because it's the same thing as saying you're proud to be white and some jerks ruined that for everyone years ago.

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What's the difference between the white people and a cup of Yoghurt?
If you let yoghurt sit for 300 years it will develop a culture

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OK. So you know the terms hillbilly? Redneck? Bogan? Trailer trash?
That's English culture. And the empire spread it around the globe, so Canada, USA, Australia, New Zealand, and South Africa all have their variants. The English are the shitbirds of Europe, as much as north americans paradoxically think James Bond when England is mentioned. I've got plenty more English in me than Irish or Scots, but believe me, my family does not lead with that nugget. Nor does anyone else :P