Romantic Pursuits (Worm)

I was either a parahuman or hallucinating. So either I have inane powers or a Merchant drugged me without me noticing. I really don't know which is worse. On one hand, useless powers. On the other, I was going to become a druggie.

... I find it more believable that I'm hooked on something. Powers are never really useless.

I looked at the message that appeared in front of me and wondered when I had gotten so attached to games my hallucinations started appearing to be like them.

Convince Mister Gladly to Let Julia stay with Madison's Group? Yes/No

I must say this is a new one. Though given I've never used illicit substances before, that's not entirely surprising. Though I should make my decision soon, as the timer next to it was about to reach the end.

I selected 'Yes' and felt a feeling of purpose flow through me.

I looked at the Mr. Gladly, my World Issues teacher. "Mr. G? I think Julia should stay with her group. Me, Sparky, and Taylor are doing fine ourselves."

I felt several looks turn on me, but I felt fine with it. I was doing the right thing.

"But all groups should have four students. It's not fair to you if you have less than that many members."

I sighed. "Sir, us three are just as capable of doing the work as all the other groups. There's no need to break up friends for something this simple."

After a few moments, Mr. Gladly relented. "Alright. I'll let this slide."

I smiled. "Thanks Mr. G."

At that moment, another message popped.

Due to your actions, you have earned the silent gratitude of Taylor Hebert. Taylor Hebert added to Relationship Sheet.

... What? No, seriously. What?

My hallucination is starting to get stranger. Well, that spoke plenty about my sanity. Namely, how I was now lacking a good portion of it.

What the hell is this 'Relationship Sheet' anyway? My-

Relationships:

Taylor Hebert - Intimacy: 0 | Connection Rank: 0

Oh. Well, that's certainly something. What the hell is 'Connection Rank'?

Know what? Never mind. I'm just going to ignore this. It's not helpful and it doesn't address anything, but my denial of the situation seems like the best thing I can do at the moment.

... Classwork is the only thing that will help me ignore this. Joy.

"Well," I said, looking at Sparky and the girl now on my Relationship Sheet (God, does that sound weird.), "We should get started, yes?"

Let it be said focusing on something when you have no other choice unless you want to confront a topic you don't want to think about makes you get finished surprisingly quickly. I was done in about fifteen minutes. Not necessarily a good thing, but an interesting observation.

Actually doing something for once has increased Taylor's confidence in you. +1 Intimacy.

Screw off. I don't need you reminding me how much of a disappointment I am, or this intimacy shit. I mean, yay, affection from a girl. But this seems... easy?

I don't even think I actually want a girlfriend at this point in time. I like women, sure. But holding an actual romance when I'm only going to turn sixteen soon? In Brockton Bay? Yeah, I don't see that happening.

So, once again, I'm going to ignore this and hope it goes away.

Anyway, class was was easy when I actually paid any amount of attention to it. Mr. Gladly in general was an easy teacher. So when I finished my work, I struck up a meaningless conversation with Sparky.

Sparky was a good friend. We didn't hang out much, but the few times we did were fun. He was baked half the time, he held a passion for music, and he could care less about anything beyond those two things, but he was pretty easy to strike up some interesting conversations with.

I was half convinced he was a parahuman whose ability was to lead a strange life. I mean, why else would he have stories involving a camping trip, three people named Jacob, and two bears in mating season?

No, I'm not lying. Those are actually aspects of a story he told at one point in time. It was... A little eye opening how strange the world can be even without capes.

It was at that point that a certain collection of girls had made their seat next to our group. Madison, Julia, Amy, Rebecca, and Clair. Some of the more attractive girls in my school, and they knew it. So they were quite popular by being flirtatious with the upper echelons of the guys, which led to a sort of message for more guys to pay attention to them.

I myself had once had a crush on some of them, but the effect had been ruined when I realized they were one of the main reasons my social assassination from the ABB had such drastic effects. Even with that knowledge, I still found they were cute to some degree.

Plus, I'm good at repressing the bad things I feel and being my usual talkative self. Believe me when I say I am well aware of my own social faults. I just... I don't know how else to express myself in any other fashion.

All together, I didn't really care much for them, but not enough to ignore them or be rude. And for me, that was enough flags to try to strike up conversation with them that made me internally cringe.

Taylor saved me from myself, thankfully enough. "Hey, Greg, this is what I did over the weekend, what do you think?" Taylor handed me a very well done packet of papers for the assignment we were doing.

... This makes me feel bad for doing the bare minimum for the grade on this project. Space Opera is a very addictive game. I cringed again at the thought of my earlier ramblings on the topic.

God, I have some serious issues.

I gave is a thorough read. "This is really good, Taylor."

Julia suddenly piped in, "Let me see."

I handed it to her before I properly registered the request. Something of an ingrained habit to do as your asked or told when your father's an asshole that expects you to take all responsibilities around the house, and the occasional bully.

Taylor obviously didn't like Julia having it. "Give that back."

Julia gave Taylor a mockingly innocent look as she passed it to Madison. "Give what back?"

Taylor immediately snapped her attention to Madison. "Madison, give it back."

Madison gave a very condescending look at her. "Nobody is talking to you, Taylor."

...

Help Taylor get her paper back? Yes/No

Well, I'm going to feel like a dick if I choose no.

Yes, obviously.

I felt different as soon as I chose my answer. I felt I knew exactly what to do. And when you feel like that, going through with something is remarkably easy.

"Madison, give the paper back to Taylor."

My statement got everyones attention as I stared at Madison.

Madison, for her part, gave me a markedly similar expression as she had to Taylor. "Why should I, you pervert?"

The familiar insult glided right over as I got up and stepped over to her. I'm certainly not the most imposing figure, having no muscle tone to speak of, but my body language and sudden movement was enough to get Madison to lean back in her seat as I pushed myself into her personal space.

"Because," I said firmly, "That is not yours and I asked you to."

Madison obviously was not a fan of my demanding behavior, as she sneered at me as she straightened and brought her face closer to mine. "Make me."

I raised an eyebrow to give my best 'really?' face. "I'm not going to make you do anything."

Before she could make some snide comment, I ripped Taylor's paper from Madison's hands. "I'm just going to do what needs to be done."

That done, I sat back down at my desk and handed the paper to Taylor, who was giving me a wide-eyed look.

I smiled at her. "Sorry about that. Didn't mean to cause you all that trouble."

Taylor just sort of gaped at me before mumbling out a "Thank you."

At that moment, I felt the confidence I had since I had selected yes rapidly fade away, leaving me to realize what exactly I had just done. Before I could properly contemplate what potential consequences I would be facing soon for all but assaulting a popular girl, a message appeared before me.

For helping Taylor, you have gained her respect. +8 Intimacy

That's nice and all, but what about the repercussions for what I just did!? I'm, like, 99% sure I'm going to get the shit kicked out of me at some point in the near future. Probably in a few hours, actually.

Oh well, I guess I can feel good that I actually did something for once, instead of hesitating about the consequences. Still, I'm not particularly forward to facing those consequences.

My anxiety reached a whole new level as Mr. Gladly called me up to present for our group. Crowds. I hate crowds. And this crowd is full of people who saw my confrontation with Madison. This crowd is full of people that probably want to beat me up. If I mess up they'll want to be beat me up more!

I felt myself go cold and spots cloud my vision as I faintly realized I was on the verge of having a panic attack. I heard Mr. Gladly say something that I could only barely make out as, "Are you okay?"

I nodded dumbly as I tried to filter my thoughts into something rational and not consumed by fears, but that was easier said than done.

In the end, I slumped down into my seat as I hyperventilated. I feel clammy. Am I going to die? Why is everything so quiet? I need help. I need to get away. But my legs feel so weak...

Why are people laughing? At me? They're laughing at how pathetic I am, aren't they? I can't even talk without suffering an anxiety attack. What a loser I am.

I felt a hand land on my shoulder and I turned to see Sparky.

"Come on, get up." He sounded like he was underwater.

I numbly followed the motions as Sparky got me on my feet and help me walk out of the classroom. Were they still laughing?

I guess it didn't matter. I was getting away.

---​

I stared at my surroundings in confusion as Sparky sat down beside me on the curb. Why are we at the student drop-off and pick-up area?

Sparky looked at me. "You okay, bro?"

I rubbed my arms to rid myself of the lingering phantom coldness. "Yeah, I guess."

Sparky turned his head forward as he spoke. "You know, when you helped that chick, that was fuckin' A. Looked like a badass. Not as badass as me, but hey, I'm me."

I gave a sardonic smile. "Yeah, I guess that could have looked pretty cool."

Sparky turned to regard me again. "Actually, bro, it was just sad. Right after you look like a big boy for once, you go all grape-y. Never seen someone shrivel up so fast, bro."

I gave a weak punch at his shoulder. "Screw off."

"I'd love to, but there's no chick in sight. I think I'll stick to the guy that looks like a girl for now."

I chuckled at that. Sparky could say the rudest things, but the way he said it was almost endearing. His grammar in general was a good example of that.

He looked at something to the side of us. "Oh, damn. Isn't that the chick we were sitting with?"

I turned to see what he was talking about, and saw Taylor just walking out of school grounds.

"Now there's a girl with a brain. Ditching school? Best idea I've seen someone have in a long time."

Sparky gave a glance at me. "We should follow her."

I blinked at him. "What? Why?"

Sparky gave a smug grin at me. "You got the hots for her right? Now's the best chance you're going to get to have a nice, long talk."

I ignored his euphemism and focused on his question. "What makes you think I like her? I mean, not that I don't think she's cool and all, but-" I cut myself off from saying anymore. "You get what I mean."

Sparky laughed. "I know what you mean. You're thirsty as hell for her is what you mean."

I fought down the blush my embarrassment was trying to bring out. I don't think I really succeeded. "I am not! She's just easier to be around than most people." Oh god, this is sounding like denying middle-school crushes all over again.

"Anyway, don't you think following her is a little creeper-ish? Stalking people isn't usually a good thing."

Sparky rolled his eyes. "We're not going to stalk her. You're just going to enjoy a day out in the town with a chick for once. You game? If you are, we should probably go now, or we'll lose her."

Go after Taylor? Yes/No

The answer is simple. "No."

 

I am hardly a person that knows how to empathize with others. I don't know why I couldn't, I just lacked the ability to form a simulacrum of another's emotional and mental reactions. It's not that I'm a sociopath, but the ability to judge if my actions would be considered normal was just beyond me.

It's the reason socializing properly is so damn hard. At one point in time, I had suspected I had aspergers, but beyond lack of ability to communicate with others, I didn't suffer the other symptoms.

Funnily enough, after I realized that, I tried even harder to socialize to prove to myself I was normal. I winced in memory at what I was like in sixth grade. I was tempted to call that the peak of my weirdness. Because looking back, that year was by far my worse.

I sighed to myself as I sat in my chair. PHO was opened up on my computer, as it always was, and I came to a decision.

I had powers now. Lying to myself about that wasn't going to change the fact I now had them. How I got them was a question for another time; I don't exactly remember being in an utterly horrible situation.

My power are useless as far as I understood though. All I did was establish relationships with people, and gain the ability to make choices based on establishing that relationship further.

My power may be useless, but the message it gave was pretty clear. I need to change. I need to be able to make friends, form relationships, and not get hesitant when it came to doing things for those friends. I had once complained to myself about 'why the geeks couldn't band together' when I had once asked Taylor out last year, and got rejected.

It was because I am not even a geek. A geek is just a social reject. I'm a social reject of the social rejects. That needed to change.

And this change wasn't just going to be for 'Greg Veder', geek of Winslow. This change was going to be for XxVoid_CowboyxX, liar and disrespectful of the Parahuman Online forum.

I couldn't make a thread telling people that the person infamous for bans was changing, that wouldn't believe it. And I was still banned from doing so because of that thread claiming I was a parahuman last September...

Regret. So much regret.

Anyway, I'm turning over a new leaf, and that included my online persona. Time to send in a letter of apology to Tin_Mother. See if I can get her to contact everyone that I had offended with my previous behavior. That should be a step in the right direction.

After this? Let's see if I can become someone that could at least be considered a friend by others.

Maybe I can start with establishing a proper group with Sparky and Taylor. Actually hanging out with either of them would be a nice improvement.

Let's see about befriending Sparky properly first. What was his number?

---
​

Sparky's smile was infectious. "And he took the pills and woke up in a dumpster four days later."

I busted out laughing. "You're uncle sounds like he had an interesting time."

Sparky moved some of his hair out of his eyes. Hair which fell while he was giggling when he told his story. "Yeah, best part is he didn't know if it was a guy or girl that approached him."

We both giggled. My laugh was quite a bit louder, though, so I was the one who got the glares of the rest of the students in the cafeteria.

But now, I didn't really care. I had an actual friend now, so the opinions of others really didn't matter anymore.

Though I am unsure why Sparky wasn't on my Realtionship Sheet. Maybe because he's a guy? Taylor is the only one on it and she's a girl, so...

Whatever, I'm not exactly going to be using my power much. Can't really be a hero when my power doesn't have any combat potential.

Could I do something with it anyway? I could befriend females as my power. What could do with that? Romance all the female villains to being heroes?

... No. That was the fastest way to ending up six feet under. Not exactly something I'm keen on doing.

Sparky's chuckles ended as the bell rang for the ending of pre-class period of the school day. I waved as we split for our respective classes, mind already occupied with ideas of how to talk to Taylor in Mrs. Knotts class without seeming creepy.

Of course, things are never as simple as I wished they could be, as Sophia was already silently mocking Taylor with a gesture about crying when I got there. From the way she was tense and didn't have her backpack, there was a story behind that.

Help and reassure Taylor? Yes/No

I selected yes automatically.

I liked Taylor. There was no denying that. And the fact that my chances with her were null considering prior rejection was something I was aware of. However, me liking Taylor was not purely about my attraction towards. I liked her because she was like a mountain. An unmovable figure.

My bullies teased and taunted me, and I bent over to try to lessen the pain they gave me. Taylor? She ignored them with an obstinance I would label applicable for a shonen protagonist.

She was someone I admired, in a way.

And with a power that gave me ultimatums in helping her, I wasn't going to be a bystander any longer. I was going to be her friend, and damn the consequences. I was committed to changing, and this was a step on the way.

"You know," I began, as Taylor's head snapped to the side to look at me, "I never really understood it. Can you explain it to me?"

Taylor looked angry and defensive as she stared at me, but I understood it wasn't because of me, so I kept my calm. Taylor hissed out, "What?"

See? Normally that sort of reaction would make me curl in on myself. "Your confidence. Where do you get it from?"

Taylor blinked, suddenly off-kilter. "What?"

I jabbed a thumb in the direction of Sophia and a few other girls. "Like me? If I had those bitches messing with me, I would have went limp as they did whatever they want."

Reverence leaked into my tone. "But you. You stand firm, head held high as you disregard them. Like a queen to her serfs. How?"

I internally furrowed my brow at what my power was making me say. So... Was it just making me externally express my thoughts of her? That's pretty cool. I guess.

Taylor, for her part, blinked enough for the both of us. "I, um... I...." Taylor paused and blinked again, suddenly defensive again. "Why?"

I scratched my head as I felt an unfamiliar rush of blood to my face. Unfamiliar, because I normally blush with my ears. The heat in my cheeks was new for me. "Well," my hand dropped to my side as I gave her a serious expression, "I idolize for it. I've never met a girl who is as sure in herself as you are, able to ignore them as much as you. I want to know how I can be more like you."

Taylor gave me a tight expression. "Did Emma put you up to this? Trying to befriend the nerdy girl so you can betray me later?"

I didn't need my power's social assistance to help with my reel-back from the accusation. "Oh god no! I would never do that!"

Taylor continued staring. "Prove it."

This was where my power helped me. I immediately stood straight and a blank expression. "What do I have to do to prove I'm genuine about this?"

Taylor said nothing for a while as she bit her lip, thinking hard. When she gave me a hard stare, I knew she had found her question. "Tell me why you're helping me now. If you know I'm like a 'Queen', then that means you've been aware of what they've been doing for a while. So why now?"

I was silent for a bit before I spoke in a soft tone, "Because I realized how much being alone sucked." I waved my hands in front of me before Taylor could say anything. "I know, not the greatest reason. But please, believe me when I say I feel like an ass for not doing anything sooner."

I sighed. "I realized that just being a bystander was all I ever did in life. I want to change that. And I want to redeem myself for all the other times I never did anything."

I waited for Taylor's response for what felt like forever. "... Okay."

Your confession has gotten through to Taylor Hebert. She now sees you as a tentative friend. +2 Intimacy.

That's... nice...

Intimacy threshold has been reached. Connection with Administrator established.

What the hell does that mean?