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sharpest knife in the drawer

The “drip drip drip” of the Trump Russia scandal is becoming more of a “splish splash I am taking a bath!” these days, as story after story comes out about heretofore unknown and weird connections between Donald Trump’s inner circle and Russia. Our latest entry is about that Carter Page goofball, the one brought on by the Trump campaign as a foreign policy adviser last year for reasons nobody really understands. He appears in the Steele dossier as the guy who maybe helped negotiate the transfer of a 19% stake in Russian oil bid-ness company Rosneft to SHHHH IT’S A SECRET, in exchange for lifting sanctions put on Russia over its annexation of Crimea.

And now, from a report in Buzzfeed, we learn that, in 2013, Russian spies working in the U.S. tried to recruit Page. Buzzfeed also reports that these spies thought Page was A IDIOT:

A court filing by the US government contains a transcript of a recorded conversation in which [Russian spy Victor] Podobnyy speaks with one of the other men busted in the spy ring, Igor Sporyshev, about trying to recruit someone identified as “Male-1.” BuzzFeed News has confirmed that “Male-1” is Page. […]

The court filing includes a colorful transcript of Podobnyy speaking with Sporyshev about trying to recruit Page.

“[Male-1] wrote that he is sorry, he went to Moscow and forgot to check his inbox, but he wants to meet when he gets back. I think he is an idiot and forgot who I am. … He got hooked on Gazprom thinking that if they have a project, he could rise up,” Podobnyy said. “I also promised him a lot … This is intelligence method to cheat, how else to work with foreigners? You promise a favor for a favor. You get the documents from him and tell him to go fuck himself.”

DUMB STUPID GUY DOESN’T EVEN RESPOND TO EMAILS! So, Buzzfeed reports that they were able to verify that Page was “Male-1,” because they called him on the phone and said, “Are you Male-1?” Apparently he replied, “Yes, that is my stage name, because I am very famous!” You’ll remember that Page is one of the ones jumping up and down to testify for the Senate Intelligence Committee, probably because whatever wrongdoing he’s guilty of, he wants to make sure he gets to go to the fun jail, the one where the cafeteria has brownies with sprinkles on them and bedtime isn’t until midnight.

Page’s other contacts with Buzzfeed before saying “Yeah bro, that is me” are fairly entertaining:

Speaking with BuzzFeed News, Page suggested that the complaint was written so that it was obvious he was the Gazprom-connected man Podobnyy talked about recruiting.

“In this city? Give me a break,” he said. “It is so obvious.”

Yes, prosecutors in 2015 were definitely trying to out the VERY FAMOUS Carter Page!

In a previous conversation, when asked if he had ever met with Russian intelligence operatives, Page told BuzzFeed News in a message on the Telegram messaging app: “I’M VERY CAREFUL WHEN I SAY ‘NEVER’ BUT EVEN IF I HAD INADVERTENTLY HAD ‘CONTACT’ SUCH AS BRIEFLY SAYING HELLO TO SOMEONE WHO MIGHT FALL UNDER THAT LABEL IN PASSING NOTHING I EVER SAID TO THEM OR ANYONE ELSE WOULD’VE EVER BROKEN ANY LAW.”

Who among us hasn’t made friends with a Russian spy and given them documents on the energy industry in 2013? This reminds us of the completely bonkers interview Page did with MSNBC’s Chris Hayes, on how he could not recall whether he recalled ever meeting with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak, who is just the sweetest guy, not that Page would know, but if he was in a position to recall such things, he might say Kislyak is a total mensch. Allegedly.

If you want all the fun details and the court filing against these three Russian spies (one of whom got out of jail just this past weekend, coincidentally, soon after his former bosses met with Trump’s favorite president, Jared Kushner!), replete with their fun conversations with “Male-1,” head on over to Buzzfeed. It’s important to remember, with this specific story, that this all happened long before Page became associated with Donald Trump. (He eventually came to Trump through Rick Dearborn, then Senator Jeff Sessions’s chief of staff, or maybe Sam Clovis? Or maybe someone else entirely, NOBODY CAN TELL, because this is just one of life’s mysteries, SHRUG!)

Or if you’d like, you could watch this video from Monday’s episode of “Rachel Maddow Yells At Russia,” which is very good!

Also, if you missed it the first time, remember that Carter Page is ALSO the guy who sent a crazy-pants letter to the Justice Department crying that Hillary Clinton was doing civil rights violations and election fraud to him, because the mean press was writing articles about his weird ties with Russia. He’s a stable guy, that Carter Page.

We’ll close with a SICK BURN from “A US intelligence official,” from Buzzfeed’s report on Page’s DOY DOY DOY meetings with the Russian spies:

A US intelligence official said that investigators intend to question Page eventually, but that he was not considered a high priority. “There’s so many people that are more relevant,” the official said.

LOLOLOLOL! Carter Page is a silly boy!

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  • MynameisBlarney

    http://www.democraticunderground.com/10028889137

    So…the people that voted for turmp, seem to have been duped.
    Because it appears Jared is actually doin the prezidentin.

    • TJ Barke

      Well, Donnie is too incompetent…

      • MynameisBlarney

        Ayup.

    • onedollarjuana

      I’m surprised. I was sure that Ivanka was going to do the work.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Do they share the Lincoln bedroom?…

  • bookish

    I am greatly in favor of Rachel and Wonket yelling at Russia. Great work guys.

  • TJ Barke

    The Aristocrats!

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    If I made chili as thick as this plot, you couldn’t break it with a fork…

  • schmannity

    I am willing to be compromised by a Russian spy like Keri Russell on The Americans.

  • memzilla Ω

    Remember kids, first one to flip gets the shortest prison sentence!

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Flynn tried that and there were no buyers. Weak. Sad.

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    This Venn diagram demonstrates clearly the overlap between the Trump administration and Russian operatives:

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/C6sVNUuWwAAGrtx.jpg

  • Groundloop

    The Best People™.

    • MynameisBlarney

      “Top” men!

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Nothing to see here. The Page has already been turned says Vlad.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Trump hysterical tweet about Obama’s birf cert. in 5…4…3…

  • The KGB Ate Our Votes

    But what was Susan Rice doing in 2013 and how was she involved?

  • SweetDeeKat

    So one of Drumpkopf’s advisers was TOO STUPID for the Russians to recruit. Classic.

  • memzilla Ω

    What’s worse than being called a Russian Stooge?
    Being called an UNIMPORTANT Russian Stooge!

    Ха-ха-ха-ха, товарищ!

    • wavicles

      My thought is to start quoting that last line in the post in regards to the Resident;
      ‘There are so many people who are more relevant.’
      That’ll just work at him like his inauguration #s.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    Oddly enough, Male-1 is now trending on Grindr.

    • elviouslyqueer

      *swipes left*

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Get back to me when we’re up to Male-8 or Male-9.

  • Vincent Ricola

    Sophisticated brainwashing techniques often work out really well, then there are the other times that result in Carter Page.

  • freakishlypersistent

    OT/but due to the populist in the WH signing our internet privacy over to our corporate ISPs, I’ve installed Tunnelbear on my devices, was pretty easy, I’d recommend Wonkerazzi..

    • tapp_my_wire,please

      Thanks. My Wonk non-comments alone would cost me 10 to 20 in some Fema gulag

    • kareemachan

      Can anyone else back up your claim? (Not about spam, but the Tunnelbear thingy)

    • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

      I installed another VPN that was recommended by EFF this weekend. It also, too, was easy to install and works well on Apple, PC and Android devices my husband and I use. I’m sure Tunnelbear works fine. So Wonkers check out the options. It’s unfortunate we live in a time when VPNs are a necessity.

  • President in Exile Firefly

    “Carter who?”
    –Sean Spicer

    • Mpeg

      ♪ Carter, Carter, Pants-on-Farter? ♫

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Must be some dilemma trying to decide which of the President’s Russian spies you want to spend time on first, because there’s only so many hours in the day.

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      This is how I feel about “what to call Congress about today.” Too many choices.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • memzilla Ω

    It’s amazing to think how many thousands of PoliSci theses are going to come out of this whole farkakte business. Like, literally until the end of time.

  • elviouslyqueer

    In Soviet Russia, idiot fucks himself.

  • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

    Situation Room, this morning….
    Trump: I need options. Now.
    Christie: Time for some traffic problems in Washington
    Guiliani: Hillary did it.
    Flynn: I don’t see the problem with helping Russia.
    Eric: Should we go ahead with the Vladivostok hotel project?
    DeVos: We need to give students more better school choices.
    Carson: zzzzz
    Ivanka: My eyes are up here, Daddy.
    Kushner: What if we give Russia a lease with option to buy?

    • House0fTheBlueLights

      omg Ivanka. Coffee Spewed on the Keyboard Award.

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      When they do the rewrite/rerelease of The West Wing, I do hope they ask you to participate in script writing.

    • Nockular cavity

      Bannon: Just make none of the money goes to the goddam filthy Je…uh, hi Jared. I’ll tell you later, Mr. President.

      • Pamdrodriguez

        Google is paying $97 per hour! Work for few hours & have longer with friends and family! !ft295c:
        On monday I got a great new mclaren f1 from having earned $12778 this last four weeks.. 3 to 5 hours of work a day… Weekly paychecks… Bonus opportunities…Its the most-financialy rewarding I’ve had.. It sounds unbelievable but you wont forgive yourself if you don’t check it
        !ft295c:
        ➽➽
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  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I originally chose Page in the “who gets flipped first” pool, and then it looked like whoever bet on Flynn was going to win the pool.

    I am thinking Page is still in the running now. He has turned state’s evidence before.

    Granted, I am not sure he’s much more than a willing Putin dupe who latched onto Team Trump as a meal ticket, but that still raises this interesting point:

    Who was vetting these people? Was “Must be compromised by Russian intelligence” one of the job requirements for serving on Team Trump’s policy team?

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Who was vetting the Trump team during the transition. Gosh, that would be Mike Pence, wouldn’t it?

    • Lamashtar

      One thing Page can do is talk about that Gazprom deal. That is supposedly the clincher, at least for Russia.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    I want to see a bar graph illustrating to the dimwit public exactly how much already proven contact the Trump campaign had with Russia compared to other countries. Maybe that would cut through:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4bbb078a318c2c3f4a006a07b85b2b9d248a8a1759ad14615f0aae9fb9806516.png

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Those still on the trump train DNGAF. There could be videos of him personally handing Putin boxes of files from the CIA and Homeland Security, and they’d just shrug and go “so what?”

  • canes_pugnaces

    Thank you Wonkeronis. The Maddow piece was amazing.

    But what I’m really concerned about, which you will not cover, is Benghazi, Hillary’s emails, who leaked (other than the Russian pee hookers) the truth about Little Tiny Hands, and Nunes’ amazing documents–leaked to him by the White House and then leaked back… or something like that.

    In other words, would you kindly look somewhere else. All the other media outlets are, why not you?

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Wait, what?

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Just snark.

        • canes_pugnaces

          Raw pissed off snark, it is true.

          • Tennessee Rain

            someone on another site just asked if I’m angry 24/7. I told her only a fucking moron wouldn’t be angry 24/7 at this point. All this shit is going down and these (hold on while I consult my “foul-o-matic” generator) leaking scrotum pig fuckers are focused on Susan fucking Rice. We are fucked…sans benefit of lube.

          • janecita

            I wake up angry, I go to bed angry, it sucks!

          • Toomush_Inferesistance

            Use the Grrrr wisely…..

  • jesterpunk
    • canes_pugnaces

      I’ve always wondered why Brooklyn and Queens weren’t shown being destroyed.

      • janecita

        Because all the people that God hates, work in Manhattan.

        • canes_pugnaces

          God hates all of NYC equally. We receive notices from God in our mailboxes.

          • janecita

            At this point, I think that God hates the whole fucking world equally, we are all fucked.

          • yyyaz

            I blame those “happy,” godless, hellscape Nordic countries.

    • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

      Surf’s up, brah!

    • Gayer Than Thou

      Insha’Allah.

  • Chadwells
  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    Back during Summer, I noticed that the lady running team Trump’s campaign in the Florida panhandle was heading a firm trying to sell identification software to the military, and that she had previously been local Floridian employee for Gazprom.

    I should have taken notes. Wonder if I can go back and find that info? We are missing a lot of Russian collaborators in the current discussion, I think. The discussion focuses too much on folks nearer to Trump himself.

    • Snopes Shop

      Let’s get on that, fellow armchair google detective.

    • Lamashtar

      There’s a small cottage industry of citizen journalists hunting down Russian money connections lately. It is horrifying, because its fucking everywhere. I am hopeful that crowdsourcing counter intelligence might stem the tide.

  • Al Swearengen

    Trump talking to the “CEO Summit”. Because we don’t hear from the fucking CEOs enough.

  • Nightcrawler

    I feel like using “dumb idiot” to describe members of Trump’s cabinet or his fervent supporters is redundant.

    • freakishlypersistent

      “dumb, treasonous idiot” also redundant.

      • jesterpunk

        Isnt that a job requirement to work for Trump?

        • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

          Apparently and thankfully for the rest of us. What would happen if they really had some SMRTs?

          • jesterpunk

            Trump would fire them? He doesnt like being around people smarter then him.

            https://secure.politico.com/blogs/2016-gop-primary-live-updates-and-results/2016/03/trump-advice-wisconsin-college-students-221383

            “And you’ll find that when you become very successful, the
            people that you will like best are the people that are less successful
            than you, because when you go to a table you can tell them all of these
            wonderful stories, and they’ll sit back and listen,” he said. “Does that
            make sense to you? OK? Always be around unsuccessful people because
            everybody will respect you. Do you understand that?”

          • Thaumaturgist

            This is why Trump appoints milllionaires instead of billionaires?

          • Unmutual Tetsu Kaba

            Such an insecure idiot!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      If he wasn’t colluding with the Russians, hes A Idiot who surrounds himself with incompetent boobs. But we knew that already,

  • LarryHoudini

    Yes, BUT: seems Susan Rice was unmasking Trump campaign workers in FISA transcripts, a perfectly legal yet guilt-damning-in-the-minds-of-dunderheads action!
    CHECK. MATE.

    • Lamashtar

      Haha! Even better, she didn’t have the authority to do it herself; she had to request it to the NSA. If the request were improper, they would have said “no”. (Information comes from John Schindler, ex-NSA)

  • Chadwells
  • Michael Smith

    I cant wait to see some Trumpire screaming about “Oh yeah, Buzzfeed? That’s a reliable news source. I just read on PatriotTruthNewsUSA.com that Buzzfeed is run by a member of the Muslim Brotherhood! Try again libtards!!!!1”

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      I wouldn’t even dip my toe in that sewer. Cthulhu only knows what you could catch.

      • Michael Smith

        Haha I made it up and didn’t think about the fact that it would hyperlink. I clicked on it, half dreading and half hoping that there really might be a website with such an over the top dog whistle of a name. But, alas, it takes you to blank page.

  • Al Swearengen

    Trump is currently whining about the 27 permits required to build a road to his fellow CEO scumbags. Fine, get rid of all road permitting. I could raise the money to build an interstate through Mar-a-lago in 10 minutes.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      It’ll be under water soon, anyway. Then you’ll see him become a climate change believer.

  • Mpeg

    “Ask not what your country can do for you. Ask what you can doofus your country.”
    — — Carter Page
    – – Paul Manfort
    – – all of them, K

  • I am depressed today and do not think this is going anywhere. It looks to me like we’re going to stagger thru the next 4 years with a severely wounded president who outsources his work to an unelected unqualified 33 year old MBA and some of the most malignant politicians to ever escape the swamp (looking at you Jeff Sessions). They’ll take our collective rights and our government back 100 years, they’ll own the Supreme Court for a generation and they’ll ensure that America no longer leads anything anywhere on the world stage.

    And we’ll still be looking for Carter Page’s ties to the Kremlin and the 150K in Mike Flynn’s unreported speaking fees.

    I sincerely hope i am wrong.

    • janecita

      I’m with you, I don’t think that you are wrong.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      It only looks that way because Nunes keeps kneecapping the House committee and the Senate committee has only been running for a couple of weeks. Once all these people start getting dragged in front of congress, I suspect it will start to speed up a bit.

    • Nockular cavity

      We do have their massive incompetence on our side.

      • Snopes Shop

        That, and there is no way a compromised administration is going to remain in power for 4 years. Let’s just hope that this implodes the REP party and stave off the crippling depression we are all subject to…

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I fear that. But.

      These fucks will get away with whatever money and political expediency allows them to.

      If the public perception changes and the money dries up the politics can change overnight.

      The first domino could be Kelly rolling on Christie.

      • therblig

        i think it’s too late for ClosetheBridget to roll on anybody. either christie was marginally smart enough to protect himself or she and baroni have this insane blind loyalty, but now that’s she’s been sentenced, i don’t think she’s of any use. she can rot.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      There may be some glimmers of hope. If somehow Dems can flip Congress and the Senate they can contain some of the worse abuses.
      A wounded Trump is a one term Trump. Then in 2020 we Get Liz Warren or Joe Kennedy III, or maybe or maybe Beto O’Rourke.
      It really could be worse. A Pence Ryan administration could be marginally competent and do more damage.

      • Antonin Dvorak

        Speaking of Beto, have you heard he is running against Cruz next year?

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Yes. If we move to Texas I’m volunteering to work on his campaign. Heck, I’ll volunteer if I don’t.

        • chortlingdingo

          Yes! I’m so excited! I’d also be fine with Joaquin Castro, who’s also thinking about a senate run.

          • Whollyholeyholy

            I do hope the whole of the US of A will be doing what they can to make sure Cruz is out. I seriously believed he might be worse than Twitler. It seems I was wrong, but this only illustrates the huge gap between traditional abysmal and the depths we have reached now.

          • chortlingdingo

            Cruz is a different kind of scary to me. He’s smart and knows the system, but he’s a True Believer (TM) in the most extreme religious way.

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Franken 2020

      • Persistent Demme

        But I’m now worried about Bernie-bro type forces tearing apart the Dems, and (classically) snatching defeat from the jaws of victory (again).

    • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

      Worst case scenario, if the GOP don’t decide to fish or cut bait soon, they’ll be the ones out of power for a decade.

    • Rickyphoo

      I pretty much said the same thing in another Wonkette post and was told that I was too pessimistic. I am glad to see I am not the only pessimist here.

      • arglebargle

        I prefer to think of myself as a realist.

        • Rickyphoo

          Agreed.

  • Anna Elizabeth

    And to think, those of us that weren’t shit-stoopid Hate-filled Subhuman pieces of Goat Offal *knew* that Trump was in bed with Putin *before* the fucking election.

    Maybe the cockroaches will evolve to a better kind of intelligence after Humanity is extinct. They certainly could not ever be worse than we.

    • Shoto

      “shit-stoopid Hate-filled Subhuman pieces of Goat Offal”

      You say that like it’s a bad thing.

      — Bill O’Reilly

      • Anna Elizabeth

        XD Nice!

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Page, Manafort, Flynn and Sessions are already in official trouble for having contact with Russian officials and then lying about it, right? Nobody’s in jail or even charged with anything as yet, but still, it’s out there that they had the contact and lied about it, and Flynn & Sessions have already suffered a career penalty.

    • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr

      I don’t see where Sessions has suffered. He recused himself from all things Russian, but otherwise he’s free to do great damage to civil rights and justice in general.

  • Thaumaturgist

    Some guys don’t actually confess, they brag. They feel what they did is cool. Cops, wanting a confession, generally give them love. Until it comes time to plea bargain.

  • ifyalikeityashuldaputasw19onit

    Usually history repeats itself as tragedy first, before farce.

    I suppose we should be grateful for small mercies.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Actually, it’s three times. But the third time, the media just doesn’t pay any attention..

    • AJ Milne

      Saves time, I guess.

    • Nounverb911

      “Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an
      open sewer and die.”

      –Mel Brooks

      • TundraGrifter

        He has said more than one that “Blazing Saddles” is the funniest movie ever made. It is funny – no doubt about that.

        But I just watched (again) “It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.” Sorry, Mel. It has you beat every which a way.

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    So, Jared isn’t altogether overbooked. Unmentioned in the reports is the fact that he no longer has to squeeze the pimples on his father-in-law’s back every night. This frees up no end of time constraints…

  • C4TWOMAN

    I dunno how many here remember the STRATFOR leak(back when Wikileaks wasn’t a creepy tool of a creepy tool) but some of the most profitable “conspiracy” outlets, like Infowars were discovered to be subscribers to their global intelligence newsletters and what have you(STRATFOR is a legit firm, doing business with intelligence agencies). Which put many of them in an awkward place, explaining how they were “targets” of a vast NWO conspiracy–while being on an email list of an arm of the alleged NWO.

    Anyway, if one pursues the global intelligence files:

    https://wikileaks.org/the-gifiles.html

    every so often a sincere conspiracy soul will be sending OMG IMPORTANT INFO THEY’VE GOT TO CHECK OUT RIGHT NOW(links to Infowars or similar tinfoil)

    To which the STRATFOR people say, as their evaluating these “tips”:
    “Who is this guy?”
    and
    “Does anyone know if any of this could be true?”

    That’s what this reminds me of. Intelligence professionals think all these people are a joke.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    I am outraged that Susan Rice would investigate people who are literally consorting with Russian spies. Outraged. Since when is counterintelligence the concern of the National Security Advisor?

    • Thaumaturgist

      OMG. Have you forgotten? IOKIYAR!

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Jim Wright has another great essay up explaining how all of this worked
      http://www.stonekettle.com/

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      rabbul rabbul rabbul !!!!!

  • Vecchioivan

    Tinker Tailor Soldier Dipshit

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    There are so many people compromised that if I was president of the USA I would declare martial law but unfortunately the guy who could do that is also compromised. Europe needs more snacks and beer.

    • eka

      this would be a lot funnier if we had some kind of mechanism in place for calling for new elections.

      • Claire

        We’d damn well better create one, after this.

  • Ducksworthy

    Jared got some splainin to do. But maybe we’ll have a war with North Korea to distract us first.

  • rubikcube

    Straight outta the Trump Tower weasel factory.
    I hate to besmirch Elijah Wood, but he and Carter Page both have that unnerving smiling with my soft-darting eyes like I know more than I’m letting on or maybe I don’t kind of way..

    • gamera23

      And Jeff Sessions is a nasty little hobbits.

      • Jamoche

        Well on his way to gollumhood.

  • Gayer Than Thou

    James Bond will return in Reply-All.

    • BoziSpicer

      With a cameo appearance of Donald Trump as Goldfuckhead.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    This really is Stupid Watergate, John Oliver was not being hyperbolic. The idiocy of the main players is just staggering…

  • gamera23
  • machiaevil
    • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

      It’s true. Putin is the center of the Reptard universe.

      • machiaevil

        In the cosnpiratard shitlib universe.

        • timpundit

          How many times do you have to write “shitlib” to get a special handjob from Putin? 88?

          • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

            Oh sure, he always promises, but he never delivers.

          • machiaevil

            Still sticking to Backdoor Barry’s core values I see, spending his formative years skipping class to smoke second hand crack and perform rimjobs at homosexual orgies.

          • Tio_Doidinho

            Well bless your heart.

            Best of luck with your raging closet issues. Remember, always use lots of lube and make sure to relax.

          • ziggywiggy

            That dude is working way too hard to make it into “Dear Shit-Fer-Brains”, maybe we should tell him he doesn’t actually get a prize, just laughed at.

        • Perkniticky

          Cospirate what? Is this some new sex thing?

          • Jamoche

            I met a really great Captain Jack Sparrow cospirate at Baycon the year I cosplayed Captain Jack Harkness.

  • Swampay

    Should we do Red Dawn yet? Why aren’t the Republicans down with the Red Dawn scenario? They’re supposed to love that shit.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    DUMB STUPID GUY DOESN’T EVEN RESPOND TO EMAILS!

    “Wait, you’re a Nigerian Prince? I thought I was replying to the email from that Russian spy. Where’d I put that email? I hope I didn’t delete it.”

    — Carter Page

  • machiaevil

    Shitlibs wrapped in the American flag, one more reason to burn it.

    • Shoto

      Don’t tell me, let me guess:

      You skipped your Thorazine this morning, right?

      • timpundit

        Have to. Since the election is over the rubles have all but dried up.

    • JustDon’tSayKingLeo

      HI THERE!
      Fuck off

    • Tio_Doidinho

      So tell me doll, what flag are you currently wrapped up in?

      ‘coz it sure as shit ain’t the American one.

      • JustPixelz (((Ω)))

        I think he(?) is saying he’s burning the American flag. Probably because he hates both America and its Americans.

  • ZAmazingProfessionalCrastinatr
    • Mavenmaven

      You know it is a right wing cartoon because it is terrible AND stupid.

      • Tio_Doidinho

        And Cheetolini looks nearly human.

        • Lamashtar

          His hair! ROFL

        • Zyxomma

          And Obama does not.

    • Raan

      The Beast has never been that in shape in his entire fucking life.

      • Jamoche

        The end of his tie has never been that high up, either.

    • Perkniticky

      Oh look, it’s Goofus, all grown up!

    • Zyxomma

      Your “conservative” acquaintance is, quite obviously, mentally ill, or at least unstable.

  • Shoto

    “splish splash I am taking a bath!”

    ♫ Bing-bang, I saw the whole gang, stoogin’ on my living room rug…♫

  • Mavenmaven

    Trump certainly attracts the best and brightest. And treasonous.

  • ImGoingBacon

    Season 6 of ‘The Americans’ should be fun to watch. The writers have so much material now.

  • timpundit

    It’s incredible juts how stupid trump’s little minions truely are. I mean it’s njot even hyperbole either, they are Ass level stooopid.

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Nah. I don’t think Carter Page knows enough about anything or anyone to go to the “tennis prison”. It’s gonna be somewhere more grim — because he does seem to know enough to get indicted for …. what is that term? … “Collusion”?
    At some point isn’t the GOP supposed to put “country before party” and act? Or are they all a-skeer’d of DT? His mean tweets … And the wrath of Bannon?

    • Poly_Ester

      Terre Haute is more his level.

  • whitroth

    Excuse me, Mr. Page, but I think your shoe is ringing….

  • Celtic_Gnome
  • Skeptical_thinker

    Looks like disgus is borked on mobile, again.

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