MAGA: the Blathering

An attempt to chronicle the ongoing decline of the American experiment at the hands of Orange Julius. This MAGA: the Blathering is a parody site based on Magic: the Gathering but has no affiliation with Hasbro or Wizards of the Coast, who own that property. For this reason, no, I'm not going to print and sell these cards, because I don't want to give their lawyers a good reason to poop the party.

Latest Additions!



Other brand new cards: Flip | Louise Mensch | Just Lingered Outside | Freedom Caucus | Gloat --> Click Here to see the most recently added cards!!
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Red

Chaos! Damage! The Press! Deplorable assholes!.



Other 'Red' cards: Totally Different | Mar-a-Lago Waitstaff | Gene | Overcook with Ketchup | Fascism Forever Club --> Click Here to see more Red cards!!

Blue

The part of government in the shadows, including both the bureaucratic ability to slow things down and the conspiracy theories that treat it with suspicion.



Other 'Blue' cards: Misinterpreted | Do Over | Distress Call | Coverup | Low Energy Sad --> Click Here to see more Blue cards!!

Green

It's all about the left, be it minorities, dirty hippies or establishment democrats. Also, lots of the Mary Jane, if you know what I mean.



Other 'Green' cards: Justin Joe Trudeau | Invertibrate | False Flag Operation | Womens March | Miraculous Survival --> Click Here to see more Green cards!!

Black

Whether it's evil, stupidity, or terrible Smiths covers, black is the color of people in general being shitty to one another.



Other 'Black' cards: In The Dark | Brazen Evidenceless Accusation | Secret Plan to Defeat ISIS | Sacrifice Your iPhone | Brain Surgery --> Click Here to see more Black cards!!

White

White is the home of the Establishment, the part of Washington that doesn't like to rock the boat.



Other 'White' cards: Pope Francis | Just Lingered Outside | Coward | Melania | State Attorney General --> Click Here to see more White cards!!

Artifacts

The emperor may have no clothes, but he sure likes to play with his toys!



Other 'Artifact' cards: Presidential Bathrobe | Town Hall Billboard | Basket of Deplorables | Secret Service Laptop | Cheap Coke --> Click Here to see more Artifact cards!!

Land

Oh, the places we'll go! Assuming we're not detained indefinitely by customs for no legal reason!



Other 'Land' cards: Bowling Green | Trump Tower | Colorado | Canada | Syria --> Click Here to see more Land cards!!

Conspiracists

Our President treats Alex Jones as a credible news source. Just let that sink in.



Other 'Conspiracists' cards: Fake News | Fox Friends | Recuse | Pretty Hate Machine | Roger Stone --> Click Here to see more Conspiracists cards!!

Armed Authorities

Customs officials and police feel the cuffs are off now when dealing with all those pesky brown and black people!



Other 'ArmedAuthority' cards: Yuuuge Wall | DHS Secretary John Kelly | Sheriff David Clarke | New England Patriots | ICE Raid --> Click Here to see more ArmedAuthority cards!!

Celebrities

Celebrities have opinions, which you value highly if they match yours!



Other 'Celebrities' cards: Saturday Night Live | SatanistGlobalist Halftime Show | Ready to Serve | Switch Jobs | Meryl Streep --> Click Here to see more Celebrities cards!!

Bureaucrats

The only thing keeping us from chaos are career civil servants intent on serving America faithfully and trying not to get fired!



Other 'Bureaucrats' cards: Flip | Preet Bharara | Office of Governmental Ethics | Unconstitutional | Fruitless Raid --> Click Here to see more Bureaucrats cards!!

Deplorables

The unholy marriage of sexism, white supremacy, and being an asshole to everyone on Twitter



Other 'Deplorables' cards: Sebastian Gorka | March 4 Trump | Monday Night Massacre | Stormfront | Stephen Miller --> Click Here to see more Deplorables cards!!

The Antiestablishment Left

The house is on fire, and these people are still holding a grudge about Bernie.



Other 'Antiestablishment' cards: Wikileaks | Useful Idiot | The Young Turks | Jill Stein Voter | Susan Sarandon --> Click Here to see more Antiestablishment cards!!

The Republican Establishment

Evil, but, you know, lawful evil! And by comparison, not as bad as we thought!



Other 'Republicans' cards: Betsy DeVos | Rep Steve King | Rules Change | Obamacare Lite | Whiter Than A Klan Rally In A Snowstorm --> Click Here to see more Republicans cards!!

The Media

Torn between the clicks the Trump White House gives them, and the desire to stall the fall of the Republic!



Other 'Media' cards: Snopes | New York Times | Shepard Smith | Both Sides | Washington Post --> Click Here to see more Media cards!!

Minority Voices

Pardon if they aren't quite as willing to suffer four years as Trump, given their rights are the first to go!



Other 'Minorities' cards: We All Hang Out | Blinding Arrogance | Indivisible | Modern Underground Railroad | Ghost of Frederick Douglass --> Click Here to see more Minorities cards!!

Democrats

Usually feckless and corporatist, they are now in a situation where all they can do is play defense!!



Other 'Democrats' cards: A Day Without Women | Democratic Slumber Party | Gabby Giffords | Pussy Grabs Back | Font of Embarrassment --> Click Here to see more Democrats cards!!

Multicolor (3+ Colors)

These are the things too awesome to fit your puny 2 color paradigm!



Other 'Multi' cards: Notorious RBG | Obamacare | Obamas Shadow Government | Rachel Maddow | Vladimir Putin --> Click Here to see more Multi cards!!

Front Page | Black | Blue | Green | Red | White | Land | Artifact 3-Colors
Antiestablishment (B/G) | Armed Authorities (R/U) | Bureaucrats (U/W) | Celebrities (B/G) | Conspiracists (B/U)
Democrats (W/G) | Deplorables (R/B) | Media (R/W) | Minorities (G/R) | Republicans (B/W)

MAGA the Gathering is a parody site, and is not sponsored, endorsed or any way affiliated with Wizards of the Coast or Hasbro.

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