全 58 件のコメント

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Well now you will need frame of steel. Don't know about your countries local laws, but moving forward you should make every effort to document behavior and actions. If possible get a voice recorder (VAR). Make an effort to email all offers of care, or assets exchange etc.

In the state I live in, a VAR is perfectly legal, as it's a one party consent state. Even in 2 party consent states there's times when consent is implied, or even when used illegally it can keep a man from getting a false claim of domestic abuse filed against him. Tread carefully as only you know your soon to be exes capability, but a woman who claims "abuse" so easily should not be trusted.

Make every effort to keep things calm. Use the surrender tactic especially and move to make it so that you don't seem aggressive. Your number one priority is favorable terms for your divorce. Freeze accounts, freeze credit, stop direct deposit, etc. DONT FUCK HER. If your local jurisdiction has a jilted lover clause, don't go getting strange until a legal separation is met.

Steel yourself, it's going to get worse.

[–]atlhartRed Beret 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you're not in a locality that allows one party consent, then make an effort to document everything. Take notes. Right down what you said/what you agreed to. Date it. Fuck, even provide her with a copy. But document your conversations.

And don't meet privately/one on one with her. If you do, do it in a public place. Always have people around so she can't accuse you of abuse.

[–]FireTemperedred beret 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Just one more thing, women change from reasonable to homicidal mean with the flip of a switch. You just flipped her switch.

The old saying,.....burn down your house to get rid of the rat....

You are now the rat.

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (7子コメント)

sometimes your insight is scary. Like watching a preview.. where you sure are glad its not you... or is it?

[–]FireTemperedred beret 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (6子コメント)

My ex said something similar about killing the rat.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (5子コメント)

It's too bad a woman going full on psycho isn't illegal, yet a man doing his equivalent is.

Men with guns coming to take you away tends to be a great temperer of stupidity

[–]FireTemperedred beret 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (4子コメント)

When a woman goes psycho, she can usually get a restraining order on the MAN! A man even talks about psycho stuff and he gets room and board at the local jail. Ask any woman, they think it is fair to them.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Being born in fighting country, I've learned long ago, all that your ego gets you is missing teeth.

Remember being at Cactus Jacks in my hometown (bar with a confedorate flag and hay bales in it) guy was part of the citywife mechanical bull challenge. Guy was pranked, they cut off his pony tail he had grown for the last 7 years.

Didn't think anything of it. Came outside to have a smoke, three bouncers had him outside, he was squealing like a pig, lost a tooth and cracked a rib. Learned a lot from that random bullrider

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Being Rupunzel only works if you have tits

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Couldve been worse. He could have been mean to one of the east indian girls. Instead of 3 bouncers, it could have been 20 angry sikh cousins

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

One does not simply be mean to a girl with middle eastern family

[–]atlhartRed Beret 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (5子コメント)

That's balls of steel. Well done.

Regarding your wife, I think you're doing the right thing. She's fucking crazy. You put up boundaries and she broke them without hesitation. Get the fuck out of there. Be free from that. Improve your life. Move on.

Don't forget that improving your life requires more than just ditching your marriage. You need to fix yourself. Remember, the reason you married her and the reason she went full bitch is because of you. It was your fault. You were the problem. But also remember, knowing that means you can fix it. You can improve. You can have a better life.

I only wish you could take your kids with you. She is going to try to turn them against them. My recommendation: do not speak ill about her to your children, ever. Tell them to respect her. Tell them to behave. Be an ear for them to speak to. Your wife will fill their life with negativity. Even if she endagers your children, do not speak ill of her to them. Remove them from her custody. Keep them safe. But tell them "Your mom is having some trouble, we'll hope she gets better". If you serve as a source of positive energy for them, they will be drawn to you no matter what she does or says. Be there for them. Maybe you're a great father now. You can be better. Soccer games, school performances, homework. Be the best father and your kids will notice. They will see her for what she is. As long as you are there as a wonderful father, they will come to you.

[–]johnnycakeAK 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Def +1 on being positive and refraining from bitching about their mom to the kids. I also think it is very valid for you to make sure the kids know they can tell their mom to not talk about you to them, if that is what they wish.
That is what my dad did in the divorce, and though my mom never respected our wishes and to this day bad mouths him as much as possible, none of the 5 kids buy her crap anymore and few of us still talk to her. Instead, we have rebuilt or maintained strong connections to him. Was he perfect as a dad? far from it, but he did try to be engaged, fun and respectful and that was crucial for us.

[–]jacksarmy 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I'm sceptical that children do come round to the father's point of view, I'd be planting seeds saying your mother's mad in a jokey way so they won't take everything she says seriously. If your always telling them to respect their mother etc it just reinforces how right she is. Maybe just don't mention her

[–]atlhartRed Beret 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

You've got to teach your kids to be respective and what is appropriate behavior. Their mother is an adult responsible for their care. It might suck, but they need to follow her rules when I'm her care. Also just makes it easier for them. Teach them to Fog until their 18 and don't have to deal with her anymore.

As far as coming around, it worked for me. Parents divorced when I was 6. My mother bad mouthed my dad every day, in fact almost 30 years later (and almost 10 years since he died), she still bad mouths him every chance she gets. He only said one negative thing about her when I was 18 and she and I had just had a argument. He said "Your mother can be tough to deal with. She was spoiled by her father, and I didn't help by making so much money while we were together. She's a spoiled person and always wants what she wants".

That's literally the worst thing he ever said about her even though she's crazy and was terrible to him.

[–]brattykids123[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I need a bunch of these stories cause this is what is killing me and what's been holding me back.

[–]CaptJohnLukeDiscard 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Excellent point regarding being positive for the kids!

[–]milkywayer 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

that's some bold steps. I don't know the full background about you but if she showed zero respect and would start video taping to harass you, keeping the previous threats to call the cops on you for simple arguments in mind - then there was little you could do to improve the marriage besides this. just make sure the kids don't feel abandoned. you seem like a good dad.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Femenist 'dont need no man' type.

[–]sixdownsevenup 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Just trying to understand the present situation - are there no provisions for your children to stay with you at the (former) family home? Don't know what you are wanting with regards to custody - but am assuming that your attorney is advising you on this relative to what you want.

[–]brattykids123[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's not a fight I'm likely to win (full custody), so I'm not going to fight it. Acting possessive of them is likely to make it worse.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I told my kids they are free to stay in the existing house whenever they want.

What did your lawyer advise? Beyond that, seems pretty fucking straight forward, this is exactly what an MRP story is.

Man has goal, man meets goal, man owns what he can own, and disregards what he cannot.

The trick is to still be this on-point after the manipulation comes... Oh, and it will come, unless she was checked out a while ago, in which case you finally killed the puppy.

Mentally, you're prepared for the understanding that she's already had a new dick in her, right? Also prepared for the fact she will accuse you of abuse as well right? She will do this to weaponize the kids against you. This is why I'm concerned that you dropped the family off for her... I dont' get why the lawyer didn't advise you to keep them in the house at all

[–]FireTemperedred beret 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (24子コメント)

Everyone here is giving you very good advice.

I have been through this many years ago. The only thing that I would emphasize and re-emphasize to you: Avoid as much contact with your SoonToBeEx (STBE) as possible.

Any contact with your STBE is a dangerous situation that is to be avoided if possible, and/or, to be handled with the greatest possible care.

The mistake many men make (I did) is that feeling of freedom you get makes you feel that you can handle anything this woman throws at you. That is wrong. She proved that she was so cunty that you are divorcing her, do not go SoonToBe Divorced Rambo man here. It will cost you money time and aggravation that you are trying to leave behind, and, it will affect your kids. You can control this for you and your kids.

Second, spend as much time as possible with your kids, in spite of her. Keep your attitude and spirits up with them. You are improving your life here, playing "guilty dad" is of no help to them. Do not let your internal struggles become theirs.

Been there, done that, and I have the scars and the merit badges to show.

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (23子コメント)

scars and the merit badges to show

Reminds me of the guys who come back from deployment without any new shiny ribbons. Happy as fuck without those ribbons. The "hero's" are always damaged.

[–]FireTemperedred beret 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (22子コメント)

My version of self-depreciating humor. Little boys get merit badges. Men get the scars, but avoid ever showing them.

Amazing to me that I have put things "out there" on this sub, that, I have literally never said to another living human, ever. Other than this sub, it will never be out there for anyone in the future either.

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

because you see a lot of guys who can wind up like you, or guys who think that being you sounds fun. And that gives you feelz, and you want to tell them to stop.

That is called mentoring among men.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (20子コメント)

Anonymity is the nice warm blanket. Both teaching the next generation of men, and articulating your thoughts, to avoid becoming emotional to them anymore.

It only works when there's no social cost to it, and IRL always has a social cost to a man being honest with his tribe. They don't want to know, they just want the effects

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (19子コメント)

They don't want to know, they just want the effects

Probably the most painful part of the whole thing.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (18子コメント)

Really? I find it to be the opposite.

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (17子コメント)

just because after you lance a boil you feel better, doesn't mean lancing the boil didnt hurt.

Also, we had different childhoods/ young adulthoods.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (16子コメント)

It's freeing, childhood aside.

It's not a boil, it's a shitty illusion. See those guys who get out of a false prison sentance after a few years? They look absolutely exstatic, you'd think it would be painful and bitter for them.

Difference between regret, and forward thinking.

Also, now that you know that these obligations aren't actually obligations, you can be free to do what you please. Who wouldn't want that?

No one cares, so I'll do my thing without an ounce of guilt

[–]ScurvemuchRed Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (15子コメント)

you are maybe confusing past tense and present.

Do what you want. Want people who would be on the line with me to give a fuck, or at least act the part. When they do not, it hurts. Because trust was breached.

Actions are the same. Let go of those who do not meet your needs and standards. But tearing off adhesive still not a pleasant experience.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (14子コメント)

I guess so. I'd say the military made it easier more than anything.

The part that bothered me the most was how little it bothered me at all...

[–]RP_SuitScholar 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

As soon as the video recording started I would consider the marriage over. Good on you OP for cutting this cancerous BP bitch out of your life. Now do not fuck anyone until the divorce is over and you are 100% in the clear. Keep your lawyer in the loop about everything and do whatever the hell she tells you to do even if you don't want to. Don't worry about the kids, they will be fine in the long run so long as you consistently love them and make them feel important to you.

[–]RPShitlord 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Congrats on slickly moving the bitch out!

Would not be possible in the US.

[–]logger1234 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

bad-ass way to regain frame.

Honesty, I was a big worried, because telling her to put things back put her in control. You could have just moved 'em back yourself. But that would create a stupid war over who was home last. This was better. Draw a boundary, defend it.

Let us know how it goes.

[–]zeteomegaleio 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (2子コメント)

That is some solid, impressive decision and action.

I'm sure she will try to apologize and get back together with you some time in the next 1-3 days. When you don't cave, she will go nuclear and try to ruin you in this divorce.

Make sure you are mentally prepared for every cunty maneuver and tactic. She will not play fair whatsoever; women are emotional terrorists, especially feminists with kids involved. Take everyone's advice here about documenting every interaction. Don't get sucked into traps. Do NOT fuck her, and you should avoid fucking anyone else too. This is one period of life where jerking off is preferable to sex.

Your sole goal is to get the best outcome you can in the divorce. You can begin to relax a little after it is finalized, but never get too comfortable. Until then, scrutinize and be alert of everything she does or does not do.

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Someone posted before. If she does, 'surrender' say maybe, never say no. Say you were hurt and need time to think.

Say you just don't know, and you have to think about it. Wax poetic about the good times, say whatever goodfeels you need to prevent drawing lines in the sand.

not until it's too late to change anything

[–]nastynickdr 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do not fuck her, do not touch her, do not yell at her, do not be with her on a one-on-one situation. All communication via lawyer/email/any method that can be shown as evidence. She WILL try to manipulate you, she knows where your buttons are and will push them, do not cave. Completely professional from now on, no feelz involved. If she starts to go apeshit instantly grab your phone and start recording.

[–]JDRoedell 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Nice work. A small win for masculinity but a huge win for you. Gotta admit, i did not expect this when I read your title.

[–]logger1234 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

On Sunday she went out with some friends. I packed her shit up and took it to this place. I packed the kids stuff and sent it as well - I told my kids they are free to stay in the existing house whenever they want. I had the locks to the house changed.

Where were the kids during all this? With mom?

[–]stonepimpletilistsMod / Red Beret 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

I told her the locks are changed and the beds are all out (I did that on purpose).

I told my kids they are free to stay in the existing house whenever they want.

Also, did you think this part through?

[–]brattykids123[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

going to address this since it came up a few times - sending the kids and the wife establishes where the matrimonial home is. Sending her on her own gives her the option to force entry once again through the court. Separating her from the kids right now is a fight I'm not going to win and is likely making me worse so no. I have access to the new place and intend to visit regularly - sorting out the whole place establishes that I'm looking after the family and I'm not bolting. The existing place is in my name only, one of the few correct things i did, so that makes things easier.