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Left: CNN guy; Right: Miss Cleo

This past weekend, former CIA chief Michael Hayden, who was appointed by Republican Gee-Dubya Bush, visited Michael Smerconish at the CNN Fake News Network, to talk about Donald Trump’s bullshit assertion that he was the victim of a “wire tapp” by Obama in Trump Tower. We didn’t share the video with you earlier, because we just didn’t. But NOW we want to share it, because it turns out that Michael Hayden is a goddamned psychic, or maybe just a former CIA chief who’s been watching the smegma balloons in the Trump White House and can totally predict their moves before they even think of them.

Hayden told Smerconish he believes that, instead of actually doubling down on Trump’s original assertion — the Obama “wire tapp” thing — that the fuckers squatting in the White House would instead pivot to a new charge, namely that they’d suddenly start acting as if ALL ALONG Trump was saying he was worried that U.S. Persons in his inner circle (like disgraced foreign agent/former national security adviser Michael Flynn) had been picked up, completely innocently, in “incidental” surveillance, and that evil Obam-unist holdovers in the Deep State were “unmasking” those people to make them look bad. Hayden noted that the pivot had already begun, in Trump’s recent interview with Tucker Carlson. Specifically, here is what Trump told Carlson:

But wiretap covers a lot of different things. I think you’re going to find some very interesting items coming to the forefront over the next two weeks.

“Over the next two weeks,” huh? That’s a lot more foreboding than the time Trump told Tucker Carlson that his own curly locks might not be as luscious as Tucker’s, but that Trump gets WAY more pussy! That was just gross.

Let’s look at Hayden’s quote, and then we will show you how goddamned psychic he is:

SMERCONISH: Where is it going, and what concerns General Michael Hayden the most?

HAYDEN: […] I found that interview with the president and Tucker Carlson quite interesting. Some folks said that he was doubling down on his claim — actually, I don’t think so. I think he was picking up his chips and going to another table. He was backing away from the literal accusation that President Obama had … ordered the wiretapping of Trump and Trump Tower. I think where this is going … and I think this is the lifeline that the administration is hoping they can grab onto, is something called “incidental collection.”

Hayden then explained “incidental collection,” like say if we are monitoring the Russian ambassador or a Russian oligarch, and the Trump team is SEXUALLY SNAPCHATTING THOSE RUSSIANS EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY HOUR, then they are going to get picked up! Usually, a U.S. citizen would be “masked,” because as Hayden notes, we’re “targeting the foreigner,” but sometimes the “U.S. person” can be “unmasked,” and Hayden says we have normal, legal procedures for doing that when there’s a good reason.

So what happened after Miss Cleo Michael Hayden said that? Well first, there was that House Intelligence Committee hearing on Monday, where James Comey both confirmed the FBI investigation into Team Trump’s collusion with Russia, and also pissed all over Trump’s “wire tapp” lies. At Monday’s White House daily briefing, Press Secretary Sean Spicer DOUBLED DOWN on the “wire tapp” claims, with the specific whine that WAAAAAAH! Michael Flynn’s communications with the Russian ambassador got picked up, WAAAAAAAH! This is the exact same pivot Hayden predicted. It is ALSO the same pivot Wonkette, who is Miss Cleo’s sister apparently, noted at the time of Spicer’s presser. If we may reblog ourselves:

[CBS White House correspondent Margaret Brennan] specifically wanted to know what Spicer meant by “who it was,” reminding him that we are talking about Trump’s lie about getting a “wire tapp” done on his fanny, not this “waaaaaaah Michael Flynn!” pivot Trump and his dickhole minions in Congress are trying out.

That’s right, WE picked up on it, and that is because we are expert SPY BLOGGERS.

BUT THEN! Then we had House Intelligence Committee Chair Devin Nunes on Wednesday, throwing those two dog-and-pony show pressers about how he has found OMG TOTALLY BREAKING NEWS information (that he STILL hasn’t shared with the rest of his committee, that fucking troll) about how the Trump team TOTALLY INNOCENTLY got picked up in “legal, incidental” surveillance related to Not Russia, but that these sinless angels were having their pure and good names “unmasked” by unknown devils in the intelligence community, therefore TRUMP RUSSIA TREASON INVESTIGATION OVER, NOTHING TO SEE HERE!

So it looks like Hayden was right!

But if we may briefly go back to that Tucker Carlson quote we pasted above, remember how Trump seemed to suggest he’d be vindicated “over the next two weeks”? Excuse us, Crown Prince Pussgrab, but how did you know that? Did Trump have a little sexxxy secret meeting with one Mr. Congresstwat Devin Nunes, because they KNEW the hearing was going to go bad for them? Is that when Nunes promised Trump he had a plan to throw a dildo in the gears of the investigation, to protect the (alleged) Russian intelligence asset currently spreading its flaky orange ass cheeks all over the Oval Office? WHAT DID DEVIN NUNES KNOW, AND WHEN DID HE KNOW IT?

We are just asking questions.

Anyway, Michael Hayden’s other prediction in the video above is that the Trump regime will try to use this new whining about getting “unmasked” in intelligence reports as a way to criminalize intelligence gathering, so hey, everybody, have a really good day, OK?

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  • msanthropesmr

    So , it turns out that the intelligence community is actually intelligent.

    • arglebargle

      Well, they are standing next to Dampnut at the moment.

  • schmannity

    Nunes got a rock solid lead from a shadowy intelligence community operative named John Barron.

    • Hairstrike Alpha

      A rugged, sexy, man of mystery named John Barron.

      – John Miller

      • schmannity

        “I never saw his face, just his tiny hands.”

        • Msgr_MΩment

          Who was that unmasked man?

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    So as per usual they’re lying. My guess is this latest round of bullshit is related to the FBI investigation of the Russian mob operating inside Trump Tower. That’s my prediction!

  • weejee

    One incidental is incidental, maybe two. Three is an arched eyebrow. Lots and lots, then maybe a trip to FISA to get another warrant. How many tRumpetters were in the latter category?

  • Mpeg

    “Lizzie Borden took an axe,
    Gave her father forty whacks;
    When folks asked what she had done?
    “Inci dental Recollection!”

  • msanthropesmr

    OT, but according to Slate, the Gorsuch filibuster is on like donkey Kong.

  • Lizzietish81

    Next, a Former CIA chief will be accused by the White House as being a nasty poopy head.

    • msanthropesmr

      I think that already happened.

      • weejee

        Isn’t a poopy head calling someone else a poopy head a bit of a pot and kettle thing?

  • MynameisBlarney

    I really can’t come up with anything witty or snarky right now…

    So..here’s this.

    https://media.giphy.com/media/A7Gpt39kH5sAg/giphy.gif

    • msanthropesmr

      I don’t get Deadpool.

      • timpundit

        I’ll take your share.

      • MynameisBlarney

        Do what now?
        What part of “immortal mercenary with mutant powers and a fresh outlook on life” don’t you get?

        • msanthropesmr

          Well, when you put it like that. Just about all of that.

          • MynameisBlarney

            LOL

            Well…Deadpool is the most unique comic book character ever, IMHO.
            He’s got a potty mouth, a wicked sense of humor and he constantly breaks the 4th wall.

            From what I understand, the Deadpool vidja games are fuckin hilarious.

          • msanthropesmr

            My favorite are
            DR and Quinch

            Nemesis the warlock

            Lloyd Llewellyn

          • MynameisBlarney

            I’m not familiar with any of those.

          • msanthropesmr

            2000AD from the 80s and Daniel Clowes pre-Ghost World. Look up DR and Quinch. “Mind the oranges Marlon!”

          • MynameisBlarney

            Will do, thanks!

    • weejee

      Those dang desert spiders.

  • Bill D. Burger
    • weejee

      Then let’s dance.

  • Hairstrike Alpha

    How much do you want to bet this “evidence” will break Politifacts lie-o-meter? The poor thing has been embattled for the last year or so and this latest bullshit is going to destroy it.

  • Persistent Demme

    Drip, drip, drip.
    Focus, Demme, focus!!!
    I’m finding it a challenge to understand all these intricacies, because I just want him gone before any more damage is done.
    Must. Try. Must. Try.

  • Zonath

    Yep. Of course, the administration has spun this one so far away from the original claim that Chump would have claimed to be “vindicated” if an old photo from 1995 had surfaced of some random FBI agent on family vacation posing in front of Trump Tower.

    The “administration” continually lowers the bar for what passes as truth, as if it weren’t low enough in regards to Chump.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      But the nothing burger that was Hillary’s-already-reviewed-emails-on-Anthony-Weiner’s-laptop is still proof eternal that Hillary should go to JAILS!!!!!!1!!!1

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Turn up the heat Congress and cook his azz like he likes his steaks, well done. I’ll throw in some packets of McDonalds ketchup.

  • tihond

    If you’re making phone calls to Al Capone, you probably shouldn’t be shocked that the fuzz picked you up on their wiretaps.

    • Nockular cavity

      I am a legitimate businessman, who happened to legally sell a few violin cases, Chicago neckties, and cement overshoes to Mr. Capone. Why should I be implicated in whatever other business the man may have had?

  • msanthropesmr

    I think that the overwhelming message here is that the folks caught up in this are really really really really stupid.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      As are the people who voted for them.

      • msanthropesmr

        Economic anxiety.

        • Rags

          And don’t think 4-5 doesn’t suffer from ‘economic anxiety’ too; he has bills to pay. Big bills. Russian bills. Mafia bills.

  • Nockular cavity

    Dear Mr. Preznit: “I have been incidentally unmasked as a Russian asset” “winning.”

  • Bill D. Burger
    • Pilotshark

      it is always the strawberry ice cream!

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    I’ll click the auto-play linky: what does CNN have to say?

    Fmr. NSA and CIA chief Michael Hayden says given the Trump administration’s unsubstantiated wiretap accusations, they may criminalize intel collection

    JESUS. FUCKING. CHRIST!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/4e65299042abc0e19e737dfc057b3c9ace1e5c1ce22b6de6825de6f777e1f74e.jpg

    • Bill D. Burger

      Vladimir Putin: I Approved This Message.

      https://media.giphy.com/media/isP4TLqhjm3zq/giphy.gif

    • Bill D. Burger

      They will indeed push as hard as possible and obfuscate and spin as hard as they can to try and deflect any attention from his original wholly lying specific tweets about his phones being tapped at Trump Tower by Obama.
      The longer they string it out, the more they generalize, the easier it will be for them to shout, “Move on. Nobody cares about that. Let’s look at the bigger picture…blah, blah, blah.” And it will work…..it has up to now.

      If that takes pushing legislative measures to damage our Intel Community, THE TRUMPETS DON’T CARE as long as his orange ass is able to continue.

  • Bill D. Burger
  • msanthropesmr

    🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺🇷🇺

  • azeyote

    he won’t be so happy when he finds out they bring criminal charges – that is why they unmasked the targets who committed treason – he’s toast

  • MynameisBlarney
  • dslindc

    OT, but Today in Profiles in Stupid:

    https://twitter.com/Astrid_NV/status/844933991845146624

    • Wild Cat

      I’m having an orgasm of pure joy that these shits will be known as the miserable fools that they are FOREVER!!!!

    • MynameisBlarney

      That is really quite astonishingly idiotic.

      I think turmps voters have got to be the FUCKING STUPIDEST people to have ever taken part in an election.

      I mean seriously…Just what in the actual fuck did she think was gonna happen?

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        I have to agree. We told them this and they were like, “Oh he’s just saying that.”

        • MynameisBlarney

          That, or “He won’t deport MY husband that immigrated illegally from Mexico, because turmp knows I voted for him. “

      • ariel_gee_398

        And her husband is Mexican, part of the group Trump railed about constantly. It’s not like he’s some white immigrant you might think would get to stay if they pass the Pantone Color Test.

        • NastyBossetti

          I mean, my husband is waaaaaay down the list of immigrants to be deported (he’s white, English is his first language, he came here legally, and he’s a green card holder), but even I worry about the possibility of his type of immigrant moving up the list, once they run out of others to harass. Why the hell do these people think it wouldn’t touch them?!

          • Undocumented Skwerl!

            Citizenize him immediately!

          • NastyBossetti

            Aside from the frustration of not being able to vote, he’s not sure he wants to be American, and I can’t say I blame him.

      • Pilotshark

        kind of makes you wonder about him as well, wonder if he talked it over with wife or if she told him not to worry she has this?

      • snark-lurker

        This way she keeps all the assets (no divorce) with no risk of jail for offing her hubby

        • MynameisBlarney

          If true, then “Bitch!”

          Damn that’s just plain evil.

          • snark-lurker

            Sheer, unadulterated, unmitigated stoopidity is prolly the real thing

          • Skeptical_thinker

            Never attribute events to mendacity when they can be explained by stupidity.

    • schmannity

      At least he doesn’t have to serve those icky gays anymore.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Trump voter regrets are going to be my favorite meme this year.

      • Wild Cat

        I’d rather make them Dick Cheney’s favorite meal . . .

    • Resistance Fighter Callyson

      Her husband? What, she thought he’d get a pass?

      Jesus, you can’t make this stupid shit up FFS.

    • Professor Fate

      Not enough heads and not enough desks in the whole world. There is stupid and there is this.

    • Prof. T. Green Bastard

      Turnip 2020, Helen? Maybe he’ll come for your half-brown babies next.

      • schmannity

        Anchors aweigh!

        • YoBunnyBunny

          You are SO mean.

    • schmannity

      Based on personal experience, the latter, not the former, voting for Trump is cheaper than divorce.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      Roberto and Helen, were visiting Niagara Falls that year and accidentally crossed into Canada.

      That’s a bad hombre. Very bad hombre. MUST DEPORT!

      • Yr. Gma

        They accidentally swam across the river? That must be it because if you cross one of the bridges, people with maple leaves on their uniforms stop you and ask you who you are and what you’re doing.

        • WotsAllThisThen

          Accidentally crossed Niagra Falls and now they’re over a barrel.

          • Doug Langley

            They’re in a tight situation.

    • Undocumented Skwerl!

      “[Trump] did say the good people would not be deported, the good people would be checked,” Helen said.

      He is Messican crossed the Canadian border, that makes your husband worse than Ted Bundy Dahlmer!

    • Debbies are like taco trucks

      “Good job, Helen” (the Minnesota version of “bless your heart”)

    • Chadwells

      Zero fucks given for this woman.

      • MynameisBlarney

        I do feel sorry for her husband though.

        • snark-lurker

          who did he vote for?

          • MynameisBlarney

            *shrugs*
            No idea.
            Very doubtful he voted for turmp…but ya never know.

          • Yr. Gma

            If he did vote, it was illegal. Maybe another case of Repub voter fraud?

        • Chadwells

          Hmmmm…not enough information in that article to assess how many fucks he gets. I have no ruling.

        • The Other Tim

          He’s probably pretty relieved.

    • Brad H

      Sorry, not sorry. Seriously, what did she think was gonna happen?!: “Helen said she voted for President Donald Trump because she supports his immigration policies.” That’s gonna leave a mark!

      • Thiazin Red

        I meant those other immigrants, not one I know!

    • Zippy W Pinhead
    • proudgrampa

      Lady, what the FUCK did you think was gonna happen?

      • Lascauxcaveman

        Maybe she knew, and that was her plan all along?

        • proudgrampa

          Mmmmmm. That’s possible…

    • Michael Smith

      This is like that joke I’ve seen going around on Facebook, where a guy is like “I am absolutely appalled by Trump’s deportations and hope very much that my mother-in-law, an illegal immigrant who lives at 5468 Elm St. and is usually home after 4 PM, doesn’t get deported.”

    • Edith Prickly

      Jesus fucking Christ on a cracker lady, what kind of immigrants did you think he was talking about? He meant ALL OF THEM. He bitched about Mexicans specifically. How did you miss that??

  • DoILookAmused2u? Résistance☨

    I am thinking most of us could have predicted this much if we were paying attention.

    Just like we could have predicted Gowdy, Nunes and the rest of F-Troop would suddenly develop a disliking for leaks that they didn’t seem to dislike one little bit during the many Benghazi hearings.

    • NellCote71

      Did you get as tired as I over the Repugs congratulating Gorsuch and Comey for sitting up to four hours during the hearings.

      Bitch, please. ~HRC

  • Proud Liberal

    Or, just maybe, Trump saw this interview and got the idea!

    • NastyBossetti

      I was just thinking that.

    • Oblios_Cap

      “Are you real bright? Then you won’t notice when I claim your idea as my own. “

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    Cheeto, care to respond?

    Now remember this. When I said wiretapping, it was in quotes. Because a wiretapping is, you know today it is different than wire tapping. It is just a good description. But wiretapping was in quotes. What I’m talking about is surveillance. And today, [House Intelligence Committee Chairman] Devin Nunes just had a news conference. Now probably got obliterated by what’s happened in London. But just had a news conference, and here it is one of those things. The other one, election, I said we are going to win, we won. And many other things. And I think this is going to be very interesting.

  • TheGrandWazoo2

    In GOP hypocrisy today-

    Nunes a couple weeks ago: Give us the names behind these leaks and we’ll investigate.

    Nunes this morning: We have to protect our anonymous sources or no one will come forward.

    • OrG

      Intellectual consistency does not exist in wingnut world.

    • proudgrampa

      Fuck that guy.

  • NellCote71

    Good fucking God.

  • Zonath

    “Oh now chile, you got nottin to worry about. You goin’ to do jus’ fine in jail.”

    RIP Miss Cleo.

    • Oblios_Cap

      She never saw it coming. Ironic.

  • OrG

    I’m beginning to waffle on my opposition to capital punishment.

    • Christopher Story

      I would personally relish the personal satisfaction of knowing that he went from being the most powerful man in the world to a forgotten nobody rotting away into historical obscurity in a concrete cage. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: Nothing will hurt this man more than the humiliation of his powerlessness. And that agony will last a lot longer than any execution that doesn’t violate the 8th Amendment.

      • OrG

        Valid point. I’m just being emotional.

      • C4TWOMAN

        After run-ins with rightwing grifting trolls, I remember one bleating about how his or their LIVES WERE IN DANGER because of “the conspiracy”(in this case “exposing”[aka making up shit] about the September 11 attacks.) And people like me wanted to “do them harm” or something.

        No, seriously, no. People like me just wanted them to rot for life in Federal prison for fraud.

        Same with Trump.

        • SweetDeeKat

          Well, you are an uppity feline type. And probably a Joo or some other radical underground non-Babtist.

    • georgiaburning

      Every time I think that way, I need to remember that it ends badly and innocent people suffer. That’s Irish history. Public humiliation and a long stay in the pen will do.

      • OrG

        You’re right.

  • Oblios_Cap

    It’s looking like it’s getting close to time to set up a betting pool – which intelligence agency will be the one that brings Donny down? He’s managed to piss off enough of them.

    • laughingnome

      AOT/K

    • Bill D. Burger

      In the end, he’s going to learn that calling them “disgraceful” …. “thugs” ….”Nazis” ….and “traitors” was not the way to make them love him.

      • laughingnome

        Never took a Carnegie course that’s for sure

      • Prof. T. Green Bastard

        But it worked on Donnie Jr. & Eric!

    • Wild Cat

      Does he have a column of support in the military that will prevent the IC from taking him down?

      • MynameisBlarney

        I don’t think he does have very many supporters in the military at all.
        At least not where it counts.

        • Wild Cat

          I hope not. They’ve been stocking up on white supremacists and Evangelical loons for decades now. They’re the neo-nazi’s people.

        • C4TWOMAN

          I heard the Trump mole in the Pentagon is treated like a joke. The Orange One isn’t going to get much from that one.

      • Undocumented Skwerl!

        No, the military knows what the fuck it is doing and doesn’t want Trump messing up the world order.

      • Prof. T. Green Bastard

        Seems to me that Mattis & McMaster’s loyalty is still to the country, fortunately.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        If you mean spinal column, I think those are in short supply.

    • Edith Prickly

      He will unite them all against him, which I don’t think anyone has ever managed to do. Common enemy, yada yada…

      • C4TWOMAN

        This, this, this.

        Please, God(s)(dess), THIS

      • Mike Steele

        Dr. John sez: If I don’t do it, somebody else will…such a night:)

    • C4TWOMAN

      Man, I would not want real money on that. May as well flip a coin at this point….

  • Jeffery Campbell

    Elmer.Fucking.Fudd

  • Chadwells
    • proudgrampa

      We are FREAKIN’ doomed!

  • lucidamente
  • Msgr_MΩment
  • Chadwells

    The press seriously needs to ban/stop talking about Dampnut in any way, shape or form. It would end him faster than anything.

    • Lizzietish81

      Yes let’s ignore what he’s doing and let him screw us in peace?

      • Chadwells

        Hmmm…good point. How about we just keep him off TV and make people read the news. That would destroy him equally.

  • OrG

    Oh by the way,took a peak at some wingnut websites.They are now CONVINCED that : comey is a lying traitor,nunes is their savior and trump is playing 4D chess and WINNING bigly. I looked so you don’t have to.You’re welcome.

  • wide_stance_hubby

    I’m trying really hard to hold back my schadengasm, but once the Rs start abandoning their own, duck and cover, cuz I cannot hold that much in.

  • clubseal

    Intelligence gathering against Americans should be illegal. In fact, it was, and the government was (and probably still is) doing it anyway. Whether or not it picked up President* Trump or his team is irrelevant to that concept.

    • boyblue122

      If there is a wiretap on a drug dealer and i call up asking for a kilo of coke, it was the wiretap’s fault if i get caught?

      • clubseal

        You aren’t so stupid that you can’t figure out the difference between our spy agencies spying on Americans – with a “general” warrant – and law enforcement utilizing a warrant, obtained in a normal court of law, to listen to a specific target.

  • Thaumaturgist

    What would Putin like more than crippling US signals intelligence?

    • Yr. Gma

      Donnie’s lips up his butt?

      • efoveks

        Wow. Putin must have something caught, waaaayyy up there.

    • Mike Steele

      Dismantling of free press, trade unions, intl alliances, rule of Constitutional law, separation of powers…this list is endless, but Pres. Bannon is off to a flying start.

  • Jonny On Maui

    OT: I love this guy…

    MauiTime’s Maui Movie Theaters & Showtimes | March 23rd-29th, 2017
    https://mauitime.com/entertainment/movies-showtimes/mauitimes-maui-movie-theaters-showtimes-march-23rd-29th-2017/

    • proudgrampa

      “CHIPS – R – Action/Comedy – A rookie California Highway Patrol officer finds out his partner is an undercover FBI agent because Hollywood doesn’t know when to stop rebooting crappy old TV shows. 100 min.”

      Ha!

      That’s good stuff!!!

    • YoBunnyBunny

      BEAUTY AND THE BEAST – PG – Fantasy/Musical – Emma Watson stars in this live-action version of the famous fairy tale in which a young woman falls in love with a buffalo.

      I snortled.

    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      Johnny, THANK YOU for this! I have never seen this before and now it’s bookmarked. This is literally the funniest thing I have seen in a while and I really needed it today.

      POWER RANGERS – PG13 – Action/Sci-Fi – A
      group of high school kids get superpowers and fight to save the world
      while dressed as action figures. 124 min.

    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      THE GREAT WALL – PG13 – Action/Fantasy –
      A white man (Matt Damon) saves China from dragons because whatever,
      brah, life is meaningless. 103 min.

  • Crystalclear12

    Anyone else think if trumpcare fails they will switch to persecuting Trump as a distraction?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Persecuting the CBO. Mandate dynamic scoring and any and all tax cuts can be promoted as magic job creators.

      They need tax cuts. And they thought they needed a repeal of Obamacare to pay for them.

      They hate Obamacare, but tax cuts are the goal, so they’ll have to find another path.

      • DrBigHead

        I don’t think anything will happen with Trump until after the tax cuts are passed. No need to find another path.

    • MynameisBlarney

      I think his prosecution is inevitable.

      • OrG

        I wish I had your confidence.

        • proudgrampa

          Me, too.

          He seems to have been coated with Teflon.

          • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

            Yeah, he seems to be the new, more literal “Teflon Don”.

        • MynameisBlarney

          Here’s my take on what will likely happen.
          All turmps co-conspirators in the GOP will throw him and his family under the bus to save their own worthless backsides once they start having some extremely serious charges brought against them by multiple agencies.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            How can that be? I was under the impression that everyone who meets Donald Trump immediately develops a strong and unbreakable loyalty for him.

            Almost like magic.

      • goingohm

        Yep, cause the supply of Rooshians is inexhaustible.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      not yet- Donnie will remain useful until the tax cuts are passed and the safety net is gutted

      then they’ll turn on him like a pack of rabid hyenas

      • Crystalclear12

        I think that ship will break up before it gets to port.

        Hmmm, maybe we need a betting pool.

    • Mike

      If Trumpcare fails the markets will adjust 2-4oo points. Investors will have to sell of about 5-10%
      Right now investors are paying about $18.10 for each dollar of profit on the Dow for the next 12 months…If Trump can’t pass this bill while he owns both the house and senate, investors will be forced to scale back on their expectations.
      If the bill passes and is a hotmessofshit enough to sway the 18 elections the tax code re-write will be meaningless if dems come to power.
      Keep your eye on Wall St.

      • SweetDeeKat

        Oh fuck. We’ve been ready to bail on our index fund (retirement – we are not awash in wealth) since the election. When to pull the trigger? Fuck fuck fuck.

        • Mike

          Don’t bail just yet…even a half implemented Trump plan is going to boost the market for a while. The deregulation alone will free up a trillion or so (albeit at the cost of everyone’s health and safety) and cover the bullish mkt for the last 3 months…then add $300b from the Ocare repeal.
          We haven’t seen stocks this over priced since 04.
          I’d start getting jittery if we don’t see an adjustment in the form of a big sell off by fall no matter what the trend looks like. Everyone will know by then how much staying power this admin has… if the mkt is up people will draw down profit and look to come back in for another ride…if the mkts down we’ll be forced to cut losses.
          In truth…the mkts have rarely been this predictable.

          • SweetDeeKat

            Thank you. We foresaw the 2008 crash by a lot of months, so I hope it’s similar this time. My gut says we’re out before Xmas, maybe Halloween.

  • proudgrampa

    My head hurts…

  • Me not sure

    Was he psychic, or passing on super secret spy strategery to Trump via the back channel called “cable news”?

    • Red Bird Ω

      Maybe. That is how Trump gets his briefings.

      • Me not sure

        SEE!

  • Michael Smith

    And in the deeper wingnuttosphere, where no substantiation whatsoever is required for anything, the rumor is that CIA is making it look like Russia interfered with the election in order to attack Trump.

    • Zippy W Pinhead

      they are absolutely convinced that the deep state is attempting a coup d’état

      • mailman27

        The “deep state” that they invented three weeks ago.

        • Lefty Frizzell

          Everything they don’t like is something. We move fluidly between fake news, politically correct, socialist, identity politics and deep state. Stupid fucks.

        • Werewolf

          That they *adopted* three weeks ago. The concept has been going around the Loony Left (Glen Greenwald, et al) for years.

        • SweetDeeKat

          I went to Deep State! Wait no…I went to University of Deep State. More libruls there. NIce T-shirts.

          • Meccalopolis

            Derp state

      • Red Bird Ω

        Sure. But why would they want to attempt a coup?

        • Lefty Frizzell

          Pence has got some pro-CIA policy positions they really really like.

          • BuzzKill48

            It’s my guess that Pence wasn’t just some innocent bystander that was out of the loop. He’ll be implicated at some point.

          • Lefty Frizzell

            Well the CIA must really really love Paul Ryan’s policies then.

          • Randy Riddle

            My guess is that the Russians have tapes of Pence with something other than female pee hookers.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Reports are that Manafort is responsible for the rug being pulled out from under Christie in favor of Pence.

            So, Putin thinks Chris Christie would be too hard to control?

            Or he just doesn’t like people from New Jersey?

          • Mike Steele

            Still believe that Jared dared Donald to reward Christie, who had put Kushner’s father in prison.

        • Zippy W Pinhead

          or if they’re so damn powerful, why did they let the manchild get elected in the first place?

          • Nasty Candy Apple

            JESUS got Trump elected, and the CIA, as agents of pizza-eating demon witch Godzillary Clinton, are trying to subvert that. It’s all so clear, can’t you see it??

        • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

          Illuminati, Queen of England, Rothchilds (sic?), ad infinitum, ad nauseam…

    • Lefty Frizzell

      For fuck’s sake if they had the resources and skill for that wouldn’t they have just rigged the election themselves? These nutters think a liberal-conspiracy-CIA would prefer Pence to Hillary? Fuck that.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Well, now is a little bit late for the CIA to be doing that, donchathink??? I think they would have just did their superpower spying thing to keep him from getting elected, right?

      • Edith Prickly

        Logic is not one of their strengths.

    • Persistent Demme

      Let’s face it.
      They’re gonna think what they’re gonna think.
      Reason #1 why I say: “fuck ’em!”

      Enjoy TrumpCare, assholes!

    • nightmoth

      Hold up there, Michael! I’m out of Prozac and it’s too damn early in the day for me to drink. (Really? That’s what “they” are saying? Good grief!)

  • Zippy W Pinhead
    • OrG

      I hope he finished the margarita before the face stabbing. No need to waste tequila.

      • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

        I was thinking the same thing. If he didn’t finish the drink, that’s called alcohol abuse.

    • Usedtobeyellerdawg

      Really. Who among us hasn’t stabbed someone with a broken margarita glass? Anyone?
      Hello?

  • Jennifer R

    NUNES IS IN FACTUAL MONEY MAKING BUSINESS WITH POOTS’ FRIEND. This fact cannot be overstated. And in fact it seems to be tragically understated.

    • TJ Barke

      Oh shit! The rot runs fuckin’ deep!

      • Rot everywhere. Burn it down. Start again

        • efoveks

          And somebody drain that damn swamp for SURE this time. It really stinks around here.!

          • TJ Barke

            Restore the wetlands!

  • efoveks

    “(that he STILL hasn’t shared with the rest of his committee, that fucking troll)…”

    Fake news causes constipation. It’s hard to pull something out of your ass and make it credible. Takes a colon-level rework of the facts to make them alternative enough, which means it takes a while to get it into the light of day.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    The former head of an intelligence agency is good at taking in information and using it to predict future behavior? Get the fuck out.

    • Rick Hill

      Have you seen their track record over the last 50 years?

      • UncleTravelingMatt

        I’m no fan of the CIA, but everyone’s track record looks bad when you expect 100% success, and only the failures get reported.

        • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

          Especially when you are trying to figure out people’s future behavior based on their past behavior. And confirmation bias is a bitch.

    • Ducksworthy

      Or maybe hinting this this might be a way out for the Dumpster, just incidentally.

  • AJ Milne

    If I could make a few (I’d say really obvious) general predictions of my own:

    The general response on the part of the regime will be maximal confusion. Conflate, deflect, lie, snow ’em under with noise.

    … a key conflation: they’ll try to equivocate between the intelligence that caught them (almost certainly due to fairly specific surveillance, even if not exactly specifically against them, so much as in service of the laws they ran afoul of) and ‘warrantless wiretapping’, which gives lots of people (quite reasonably) the willies…

    … which, I might add, particularly pisses me off. As yes, that exists, that really is a problem, and we really do need to grapple with it. I’d put it more broadly in the general bucket of problems introduced by the intrusive ubiquity of digital networks in _all_ our lives. The panopticon is here, it’s very bad for you, and we really do need to grapple with it. Technology has squished and endangered private spaces; it’s harder and harder to be ourselves–much as in surveillance states of previous eras… And see also research into what the perception of being watched does to anyone’s creativity, and general mental health. And bear in mind: it’s not just state actors you should be worrying about, anymore, at all; large private concerns with massive leverage to acquire data (and, in fact, massive warehouses of it already acquired) are likewise worrisome…

    But Cheeto Mussolini using this anxiety to stave off dismissal is particularly disgusting. As violations of privacy have been _weaponised_ by Putin and his intelligence apparatus in particular, unsurprisingly, as these are the intelligence operations of a former, famously intrusive, actual surveillance state, and he ran them in this era. And he used their expertise in doing this in the election…

    But, much as as Trump and co only care about ‘corruption’ and ‘healthcare’ as nouns they know they can bend to get needed votes, this general hot button, they figure they can push, and their black helicopter fearing followers will sit up and bark…

    … when, in fact, _responsible_, targetted intelligence gathering remains as crucial now as it _always_ has been, and running around with torches setting fires everywhere, all around it, in his inimitable, targeted stupidity way, is about as irresponsible as it possibly could be right now. Yes, sigint in the modern era is _way_ more powerful, in many ways, than it has ever been, just, again, due to the sheer span and ubiquity of telecomm technology, and we need to be vastly more sophisticated about ensuring it’s used responsibly. But letting _these_ assholes, of all people, start writing the guidelines will go nowhere good. They’ll _just_ write them around themselves, let’s face it, and as in slapdash and immediately convenient and absurd a fashion as is necessary to protect themselves… When, in fact, subpoenas are probably as overdue as are improvements in regulation of the technology.

    • Mike Steele

      AJ, Lady MS here. Granted, some exposure is involuntary but, for the most part, being surveilled is a result of rampant, unchecked societal narcissism, embodied and personified in our new fearless leader. Since I don’t need to know what you had for lunch, nor do you need to know that about me, I have remained a troglodyte – do not bank or invest online; use landline or tracphone; eschew such modern amenities as posting jackass behavior on Facebook or drunken musings on Twitter. So far, so good. They can only know about you what you choose to furnish them, save for govt/health records which, of course, can be accessed for nefarious purposes. We don’t choose to give them a leg up. Trump and Co., OTOH, cannot help themselves, which shall hopefully undo them…SOON!

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    The law n order right, who hated the whole “fruit of the poisoned tree” legal theory, is now complaining that legal surveillance might have caught them doing something illegal.
    Even if the surveillance was legal, nobody should pay any attention to it because just because they were accidentally found talking to Russian operatives, there’s nuthin to see here, folks.
    Either they were stupid enough to talk to Roosian spies, or they were doing something illegal. Doesn’t look good either way.

    • Jack of the Resistance Tenhet

      Like the saying goes, “The cover-up is worse than the crime”, or something like that. Don’t feel like googling it. Anyway, point is that they’re really covering up and even if there is no there there, the cover-up is becoming more and more criminal by the day.

      They’ve also been laying the groundwork for attacking the intel community long before any of this started to trickle out. That’s very telling.

    • Stulexington

      It’s pretty consistent, law and order administrations (even here in Canada) do the most criming.

  • BPMM

    I have never seen an administration in so much chaos from the very beginning of its term. Trump will never make it for four years. There is just too much criminal stuff that went on behind the scenes and it’s just a matter of time before the dominoes start to fall.

    • aureolaborealis

      I have never seen an administration in so much chaos at any time.

      • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

        Even Nixon did a better job, with all his drinking.
        The story of a bunch of scrappy rebels who take over the system against all odds doesn’t work out so well IRL.
        Of course Trump and his bunch weren’t scrappy rebels- they were sleazy grifters pretending.

        • Resistance Fighter MausFeet

          Yeah, because we’re the scrappy rebels, dammit!

      • Randy Riddle

        I have never seen so much chaos. Period.

    • nightmoth

      From your mouth to God’s ear is all I can say, because that first domino fell even before the inauguration. What’s it going to take? The impeachment should have started yesterday. I’m guessing the GOP wants to get everything all hunky-dory for their big donors before making Pence the president.

      • Mehmeisterjr

        If Putincare bellyflops, those big donors might begin to wonder why they are spending all that money on these humps….

        Nah, they never change.

      • No. If election illegitimate, Hillary is POTUS,

        • nightmoth

          would be nice, but like that’s going to happen-best we can hope for is poker-up-the-ass Pence, I reckon

        • Jukesgrrl

          Sad to say, that will NEVER happen.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    This brought tears of sadness and happiness to my face at the same time.

    https://twitter.com/BrendaStoter/status/844971480266002432

  • Shibusa

    https://twitter.com/BraddJaffy/status/844978964041027585
    Newt Gingrich Last August: “Nobody should underestimate how much Paul Manafort did to get this campaign to where it is right now.”

    • cmd resistor

      Did he really say “employed by someone?” His briefings are more like Madlibs every day. Just throw in some words, any words.

  • Nasty Candy Apple

    spreading its flaky orange ass cheeks

    My mind went to a terrible place and I think I kind of hate you right now. :(

  • Tj McGee Wright

    Question. If Nunes was feeding info to Trump, would kind of illegals would that turn out to be?

    • dshwa

      If word got to the subject(s) of the taps because Nunez told Trump who told whoever about them, that’s textbook Obstruction of Justice

  • Pierre_de_Fermat

    Josh Marshall:
    tweet:
    //twitter.com/joshtpm/status/844966686138732545

    embed:

    Marshall's Law: the level of desperation and nonsense used to deny, distract is directly proportional to what is waiting to be uncovered.— Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) March 23, 2017

  • Tj McGee Wright

    This is all getting way too hyper-ironic for a campaign whose defacto mindless chant was “lock her up”.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      It really just means “Nyah, nyah, she’s an icky girl,” anyway.

  • Kurt Weil

    To get the full effect, you have to read the Hayden quotations in a Jamaican accent.

    • TundraGrifter

      “The Un-cola.”

      • Foocatchoo

        Thats an uber-specific reference from a 7-UP commercial from a time long, long ago…but I like it!

        • TundraGrifter

          Geoffrey Household, if memory serves. Sometimes it double faults.

  • PDT

    okay, serious question, what exactly is their plan?
    Is it really just to throw their hands up and say “hey, look, we just got picked up on routine surveillance of the Russians” and then ignore the follow-up questions of “well, you aren’t allowed to collected that surveillance of an American even if they are calling a foreign target without a FISA warrant and why was there one against Trump and his people?” and just stick their fingers in their ear and repeat this narrative until the cows come home?
    I mean, that is the plan, right? Create this “oh, we just got picked up making phone calls to the Russians” line and never acknowledge that that’s impossible.
    I could easily be wrong I really don’t know.

    • Their plan is to turn this into the illegal surveillance of Americans and get the left to start going hey wait a minute, illegal surveillance? Of Americans? we don’t like that!
      And then we all talk about that instead of who in his admin has direct links to the Russians

      • boredcatlady

        Perfect talking point to whip up the “free speech activists” on twitter,who, by the way, reeeaaallly suck.

    • Jukesgrrl

      First question would be: Do they know what they were talking about when it was likely their conversations were picked up? If it was something illegal, they might be scared. If they were just asking if they, too, could have a shiny medal from Putin, pretty please, they might not be so worried.

  • aureolaborealis

    That is one George Smiley-looking motherfucker right there. I mean that as a compliment.

    • jaspersdad

      Up-fist for the LeCarre reference.

  • Bee Z. Evans

    ☣ SOS USA ☣ https://youtu.be/ErBHVk90B6o?list=PLfRHLmFaPjT0lB_X5cF4ij5icpywb6qvg
    #ImpeachTrump https://www.impeachdonaldtrumpnow.org/
    ☠ Boycott Trump #AdiosTrump http://grabyourwallet.org
    https://www.rebelmouse.com/OccupyGarden/ ☣ Trump Compared To Hitler – Rise To Power https://youtu.be/GGKEs2r1Nxg
    ☣ The rise of Trump eerily similar to the rise of Hitler https://youtu.be/jYXXA_r35Mo

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    Dear god.

    all i got

  • TundraGrifter

    Dang! I’d like to see Gen. Hayden’s NCAA brackets. He’s good!

  • Smibo

    “…regime will try to use this new whining about getting “unmasked” in intelligence reports as a way to criminalize intelligence gathering, so hey, everybody, have a really good day, OK?”

    Thanks, Ev. I feel so much better now.

  • Jukesgrrl

    Sounds to me like Hayden was spinning a get-out-of-jail-free card for Trump and Bannon was just smart enough to get the message.

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