SHARE
You’ll be so sick of winning

Now that Republicans have had a whole three weeks to reshape a fifth of the American economy, today’s the big day for the House to vote on the GOP’s crappy Obamacare replacement, the “American Health Care Act.” In a frantic bid to get at least 215 Republicans to vote for the vile sack of crap that Donald Trump used to promise would provide “insurance for everybody” with lower costs and better coverage, the administration has added all sorts of terrific stuff to the bill, like doing away with the requirement for health insurance to actually cover any particular medical services, like ER visits, hospitalization, maternity care, mental health care, coverage for major illnesses, and so on. That way, people can once more buy really inexpensive “insurance” that won’t cover them if they go to the hospital or get “sick.”

The final bill that gets voted on later today still hasn’t been pummeled into shape, but it’s increasingly looking like it will toss out that minor part of the law, which had been a sticking point for the House Freedom Caucus, because, as Pennsylvania Rep. Scott Perry explained, allowing insurance companies to sell junk insurance that doesn’t necessarily cover real healthcare needs is the very definition of “free market competition,” don’t you see? “We want the free market competition […] How can you have free market competition when the government is mandating what is going to be included.” Presumably, the Freedom Caucus would like to eliminate building codes, too, because if people aren’t free to buy houses with exposed electrical wiring and foundations made of Play-Doh, how can you speak of a free market?

Even if the final House bill strips out the minimal requirements for insurance, known as “essential health benefits,” to win over more members of the Freedom Caucus, there’s no guarantee the final mess will manage to get enough votes to pass, since such moves could lose votes from Republican “moderates” — folks who are OK with a certain level of suffering for low-income voters as long as it won’t lead to a Democrat winning. Also complicating the dream of bringing back junk insurance: Back in December, the Congressional Budget Office said if plans don’t include those essential health benefits, people who bought such plans wouldn’t actually be counted as having insurance in any CBO score of the bill. So if the essential benefits are axed, get ready for the CBO to estimate that far more people will be left without health insurance coverage, beyond the 24 million expected to be uninsured under the first version of the bill. Not that the sociopaths who think junk insurance is a beautiful example of Free Market Success would particularly care, but numbers like 30 or 40 million people uninsured would make for really helpful Democratic campaign ads.

From a more practical perspective — again, not necessarily a big issue for rightwing ideologues — there’s another big problem with chopping the essential benefits out of the House bill: The main reason they were left in the AHCA in the first place is that stripping them out might make the bill impossible to pass in the Senate — not just because many Republican moderates would vote against it, but because such a modification could mean the bill would no longer meet the strict parliamentary rules for passing the bill with a simple majority, denying Democrats a chance to filibuster:

In the Senate, the parliamentarian will have to go through every line of the bill to ensure that it meets the strict rules around reconciliation, the fast-track procedure the Senate is using to enact its bill without the threat of a Democratic filibuster. Every provision has to have a direct impact on the budget or it would get struck.

It’s unclear how the parliamentarian would rule on the issue. Republican sources tell POLITICO that when Republicans wrote the blueprint for the repeal bill in 2015, the parliamentarian made clear that insurance regulations would not comply and the issue wasn’t put under significant scrutiny.

Paul Ryan, the midwife to this hellbeast of a bill, is at least aware of the possibility the Freedom Caucus’s demands could improve the bill to the point it can never pass the Senate, as he explained in a radio interview with Hugh Hewitt:

“Our whole thing is we don’t want to load up our bill in such a way that it doesn’t even get considered in the Senate,” the speaker said. “Then we’ve lost our one chance with this one tool we have.”

In the endlessly fascinating world of procedural fuckery, it’s also possible the move to get the Freedom Cockers on board might just be a bait-and-switch for the sake of winning the vote in the House: Aides from the White House and the House GOP leadership glibly told the Washington Post that once the bill gets to the Senate, Republicans could strip out the provision eliminating essential benefits so the bill could still pass through the reconciliation process. Fun, huh? It’s a kind of bipartisanship: To pass this clusterfuck, Trump is happy to screw the people who put him in office, and also to screw the rightwing House members whose support he wants to buy with the promise of a harsher bill.

Not surprisingly, Senate Dems are happy to remind Republicans this sucker is even less likely to make it through the Senate if essential benefits are eliminated:

“What the proponents aren’t telling conservative House Republicans is that the plan to repeal essential health benefits will almost certainly not be permissible under Senate reconciliation rules,” said Matt House, a spokesman for Senate Minority Leader Charles E. Schumer (D-N.Y.).

So hooray for the latest iteration, maybe — this could get another shuffle before a vote — of TrumpDoesn’tGiveTwoShitsAboutYouCare, which may be so finely calculated to pass the House that it’ll be DOA in the Senate. Everyone’s going to be so thrilled with this terrific Obamacare replacement that will make Americans sicker and poorer than before, but thank God, they’ll at least have their freedom.

Too bad hospitals don’t accept Freedom as a form of payment.

Yr Wonkette is ad-free, but sadly, our writers can’t pay their rent with Freedom, either. Please hit the “Donate” clicky below the article to send us a few dollars!

[Politico / WaPo / NYT]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Will the GOP plan cover leech therapy or am I stuck with that messy bloodletting?

    • dslindc

      Get out your bootstraps and find your own leeches!

      • The Librarian

        No all expense paid trip exploring in the depths of a wild jungle in the middle of nowhere on another continent?

        • tapp_my_wire,please

          Of course not. Don’t be a sucker.

          • The Librarian

            Oh, that’s good!

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Believe me, there are plenty of people leeching off the system. Hire some of them.

    • ltmcdies

      I think it will cover charms, mugwort and a poset to keep away the plague

  • Anna Rompage

    I hear as a consolation to getting rid of the mental health mandate, the GOP is going to give everyone suffering from mental illness a voucher for a free AR-15!

    That way they can just shoot at the voices they hear in your heads!

    • Yr. Gma

      No, it will be a voucher for a discount on an AR-15. Maybe up to5 %.

  • memzilla Ω
    • Msgr_MΩment

      I hope all of wonket has taken the necessary precautions.

      • The Wanderer

        I’ve got the can of gasoline.

      • Blueb4sunrise

        Pants?

  • Anna Rompage

    “Obamacare replacement that will make Americans sicker and poorer than before”

    Oh Doc, so short sighted, the top 5% are expected to get $660 billion dollars back in the for of tax cuts from this bill. So really, only the bottom 95% (you know, the moochers) will be worse off,

    • wide_stance_hubby

      And their health will trickle down upon the shiftless poor, who probably won’t even be grateful, which is why they are poor. And sick.

  • The Librarian

    I’m getting sick just reading this.

    • dslindc

      That’s a pre-existing condition. No care for you!

    • Nockular cavity

      Probably because you’re sick of all the winning we’re doing now!

    • Jim Johnson

      Not covered, because freedumb.

  • dslindc
    • ltmcdies

      this…..

  • Michael Smith

    This seems like a lot of work just to screw over a bunch of innocent people.

    • dslindc

      Never underestimate the levels to which the GOP will go to screw over those least able to fight.

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Deficits definitely don’t matter then.

    • The Dark Knight

      “Family values”

    • Jim Johnson

      Big juicy tax breaks have them salivating. It’s not “work” if you truly love what you’re doing (punishing the poor and elderly) and the outcome satisfies your greed.

      • Michael Smith

        I guess its true, then, that Republicans never work a day in their lives.

      • Msgr_MΩment

        It’s a calling.

    • arglebargle
    • They’d punch their own grandmothers if it meant that rich people paid $0.06 less in taxes.

  • The Dark Knight

    Isn’t it funny (and sad, to borrow Donny’s favorite word) how all that talk right wingers give about “death panels” just ends when it comes to cutting access to healthcare for millions of Americans?

  • memzilla Ω
    • Msgr_MΩment

      Too bad He’s such a lazy ass virgin-fucker.

  • Mpeg

    I think that “Midwife to the Hellbeast” should be the name of my next band~

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson
  • Lefty Frizzell

    “Republican “moderates” — folks who are OK with a certain level of
    suffering for low-income voters as long as it won’t lead to a Democrat
    winning”

    Chapeau – that’s a fucking brilliant turn of phrase!

  • memzilla Ω

    Here’s the tick-tock on the upcoming walk-back, as Washingtonese would put it.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/a0b9ee3b2214d0a2298b67efa6fd979e63c5299886ebf1ffa5cf18d734141842.jpg

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      But remember, they’re selling this as just Phase 1 of a 3-phase plan! Granted, Phases 2 and 3 aren’t even in development yet…but you gotta pass Phase 1 to see them!

    • Lefty Frizzell

      One careful owner. Lady, didn’t smoke. Rich old lady just used it to get the mail from the bottom of her driveway.

      • Kiri the Paid Protestor

        Parachute for sale, only used once.

    • Bill D. Burger

      “It’s going to be something beautiful. You can believe it. Trust me. You can believe that.”

  • The Dark Knight

    How DOES one accept that Jesus Christ healed the sick for nothing but then think that “universal healthcare” is a bad thing?

  • ServantToTheStars

    Good thing I am so skilled at being my own Google Doctor. I should start practicing with kitchen utensils in case I need to operate on myself.

    • Isaac Heston

      A colander and a spatula and you’re sorted!

      • Ricky Gay

        Do they still sell those Ginsu knives?!

  • Latverian Diplomat

    For a mere $100/month you can get full coverage for Captain Trips, Zombie Virus, Kryptonite Poisoning, the Andromeda Strain, and being pursued by a killer robot from the future.

    Any real health issues are not covered, as will now be legal in Trump’s ‘Merica!

    Did we mention the $10,000 deductible? It’s probably not important.

  • arglebargle

    It’s just like when you drive an old car and no longer have payments and you don’t care if you dent a bumper, so you just want to get collision insurance, not the full comprehensive. Exactly the same.

    Except for the whole thing where if your car eventually stops working from all the dings and dents and wear and tear you can go buy a new one.

    • Ricky Gay

      or just leave it by the side of the road. Like Grandma!

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Now that Republicans have had a whole three weeks to reshape a fifth of the American economy, today’s the big day for the House to vote on the GOP’s crappy Obamacare replacement, the “American Health Care Act.”

    Verily, Lo, how great was the tribulation on that day. A dozen accidental beheadings, the Geiger stench of polonium filling the hallways, various “moderate” “RINO” “cucks” impaled on the Washington Monument after accidental jacuzzi installation mishaps during their complimentary flights on Marine One, and the many congressperson-riddled bullets left stranded on the sidewalks…

  • MynameisBlarney
  • ariel_gee_398

    Has someone looked into how many free-market competition loving members of the House Freedom Caucus wouldn’t even be on the power grid if not for the big bad federal government, because the population density is so low in their districts that no private enterprise would have found it profitable to spend money putting them on the power grid?

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Hey, the wires are up now, too late to take ’em back.
      — A Republican Congressperson

      • ariel_gee_398

        “That was a federal handout for white people. This is different.”

  • Bill D. Burger
  • Fartknocker

    Brilliant move on the part of Paul Ryan to modify a successful program by making it so expensive to the Americans who need this just so he can call it a tax saving. Me thinks AARP will be mentioning Age Tax in 2018 if this passes. They could postpone the vote but that may turn off the Koch Brothers ATM cards for these useless bitches.

  • Relativicus

    Yours is actually the first instance I’ve seen in which the fact that the various amendments being bandied about — including speeding up the end of the Medicaid expansion — will make the CBO score worse. But it’s understandable the point is not made more frequently since the GOP has convinced itself that the score is only bad because it includes all those people who didn’t really want insurance anyway.

    I also saw a report (Politico, maybe?) that claimed Trump had Steve King And His Spinning Beanie over for a chat yesterday. It said King was invited to sit in his good buddy Pence’s usual assigned seat next to Don, and stated that Trump won King’s vote for the AHCA by agreeing to support an amendment that would “deregulate the insurance industry.” The article made no mention what “deregulate the insurance industry” means in real terms, but my guess is the phrase should be taken literally. I’ve seen no other mention of King’s hoped-for Amendment, and the article wasn’t clear whether it was to be added before the vote, or some time in the future.

    • ariel_gee_398

      Not only that, but while the CBO estimate of uninsured goes up, the federal spending might also increase. Even if they are shitty plans, more people may be encouraged to buy them if the subsidies make them free, increasing federal spending on absolutely useless insurance plans. You’re welcome, insurance lobby. Don’t say we never give you anything nice.

      http://www.vox.com/2017/3/22/15031750/trumpcare-essential-health-benefits-consequences

    • Thaumaturgist

      If you deregulate the insurance industry, you’ll kill it. You’ll get start-ups that compete on price and won’t have an “adequate” rates, meaning they won’t be able to pay losses. Existing companies that do have adequate rates won’t be able to compete.

  • House0fTheBlueLights

    So the tactic is: find a way to make it barely palatable in the House, so they can pass it, but then the Senate will have to nix it over “rules” and presto-chango “government” is not letting us pass the health care bill that the people want, because of rules and regulations.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      That’s what Ryan’s going to lay down, and we’ll just have to see how many pick it up.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Just to be clear, this is a “revenue” bill, not eligible for filibuster. The only rule that will sink it is the majority rule (which is still quite possible, it sucks that bad).

      • Lefty Frizzell

        Yes. It is literally a tax cut disguised as a healthcare plan. If it were an actual healthcare plan it could be filibustered.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          We call that “Working as Designed”
          — Republican Captain of the Calvinball Team

    • Bill D. Burger

      The “Fuck NO!” Tea Potty Caucus is now…”We’re close to getting an agreement we can live with.” ___ All the more bitter for the Senate, which, I hope, will end it. But I’ve seen this “They never will….” fucking shit fail already too many times. I won’t be surprised if it, in some forem, passes out of the House and the Senate and Cheetolini signs it. And then the FOX, TrumpCo and Repuke enabling pundits begin the propaganda push with all force to blame Obama, Demonrats’ and everyone else. The howler monkey Trumpanzees will watch their healthcare dry up and blame everyone but Trump and Ryan and the GOP.

      Yup…cynical I know. But I can only hope I’m proven wrong.

  • Ricky Gay

    Trump just wants this stool to pass the House because ArtOfTheDeal!!! After that, he will go back to his ball of yarn.

    • Bill D. Burger

      Spot on. I have NO doubts that he has absolutely no idea what’s in the bill. He doesn’t care how much damage it will do. He does not care about anything or anybody other than his own and making money from his various grifts.

      Dare I say it? ___ PERIOD!

      • Indivisible Snark Tank

        I’m sure he’s been told about the tax cut for the wealthy portion of the bill. This is the main reason he’s supporting it.

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    In fact, the new negotiations late Wednesday raised the possibility that the challenge would only grow at the other end of the Capitol. There are at least a dozen skeptics of the bill among Senate Republicans, who maintain a slim 52-to-48 advantage in the Senate, and many of them want to maintain some of the current law’s more generous spending components. Republicans can afford to lose the votes of only two senators, assuming Pence would step in to cast a vote for the health-care rewrite in the case of a tie.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/385a7ebb7585237eb0ca6a7e044859af13de2e14e2349dc16cd42c48f5331150.gif

    • chicken thief

      And Casey is a “no”.

      • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

        Collins too, from what I’ve seen.
        Heller may be feeling the pressure to also be a no, simply because a) He’s got a tough re-election fight in 2018, b) He needs Governor Sandoval’s support in that fight, and Sandoval is agin’ the bill, and c) Congressman Amodei is a lean “no” for the same reasons Heller would be looking at.

  • chicken thief

    Me and Paul Ryan agree that there is no price to big, even uninsuring 24 million of our great nation’s poor, infirm, and elderly, that should prevent us from giving billions in tax cuts to the wealthiest among us. Besides, those people give very little to reelection campaigns.

  • Oblios_Cap

    This law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich as well as the poor to have access to decent healthcare if they can’t afford it, to be covered for pre-existing conditions, and to steal bread.

  • Me not sure

    The health insurance market is more and more going to resemble the old ads that ran in comic books for see-through x-ray specs and sea monkey farms. https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6f939b4b3a9d7e4fd191b5b20fc014905832a7a336fd87c305164c535307c696.jpg

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Sure, unleash the tiny Cthulhus and then they’re all like “FEED ME! FEED ME!”

      • Me not sure

        That’s how they get you to keep ordering sea monkeys.

  • tapp_my_wire,please

    Kick enough poors off Medicaid and maybe they won’t be well enough to make it to the polling place, let alone have the strength to pull the lever.

    • Isaac Heston

      Drive them into the dirt. Make them suffer. #MAGA

  • BoziSpicer

    If there is one change to be made, it should be to remove all insurance coverage for elected Federal officials. Let them pay for their own.

  • Mpeg

    will have to go through every line of the bill to ensure that it meets the strict rules

    Maybe they’ll self-distract themselves arguing how many syllables in “p-a-r-l-i-a-m-e-n-t-a-r-i-a-n” and render the bill into ineffectiveness with their incompetent nattering.

  • Proud Liberal

    Trump’s at 37% approval rating. Many Republicans are not afraid of him at all. My guess is the bill will be tabled later in the evening.

  • Mavenmaven

    If the Republicans really want to succeed with this they should just replace Obamacare with guns.

  • Darlene Underdahl

    I think I dislike Paul Ryan more than Donald Trump. Ryan actually knows better.

    • Proud Liberal

      He seems to have a particular disdain for the American people, that’s for sure.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Does he though?

      He thinks he’s John fucking Galt or something.

      • Latverian Diplomat

        “Call out ‘Dagny!’ one more time and I’m cutting you off.”
        — Janna Ryan

        • TJ Barke

          To have married him she’d have to be into it…

  • Resistance Fighter Callyson

    Jesus, the NYT headline is enough to make me ill:

    Late G.O.P. Proposal Could Mean Plans That Cover Aromatherapy but Not Chemotherapy

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/9889468d6c8d494fe81467335528339653dc9086c86fbf59b32cafc40b63765a.gif

  • Martini Ambassador 🍸

    I’m torn. On the one hand, I’d love for this to pass so that Rethugs would have to own their shitty bill and the wrath of the American people that will punish their asses at having the rug pulled out from under them. On the other hand, not passing would really piss President Tantrum and his little Ryan’y lapdog off, and that’s fun too.

    But I’m talking about all of this being House shenanigans. No way I want this to pass in the Senate, regardless. Too many good people would be hurt by it.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      I don’t think it could, even under reconciliation. There are a lot of vulnerable Republicans who need the cash infusion that Koch and the others are waving at them to vote no.

    • Proud Liberal

      Either way, the Republicans are fucked. Democrats will destroy them in 2018 once they run ads showing what evil bastards Republicans really are.

      • Pisto75666

        The problem is, will they? We Dems have a history of playing nice and not being mean to the opposition. Hopefully that stops.

    • alwayspunkindrublic

      If the House passes the bill, then immediately acts to imprison and deport all immigrants-esp. children-they’ll be safe from any Republican blowback. Maybe toss in a rider making it legal to hunt homeless veterans, just to be safe.

  • Michael R

    Oh dear , Russia is giving Trump ideas again

    Putin critic Denis Voronenkov shot dead in Ukraine

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/an-act-of-state-terrorism-putin-critic-denis-voronenkov-shot-dead-in-ukraine/

  • Msgr_MΩment

    Has Kislyak been spotted on the floor of Congress yet waving rolls of rubles?

    • Lefty Frizzell

      We’ve seen how Putin treats disloyalty, but how about failure? Kislyak at risk yet?

  • Carpe Vagenda
    • Proud Liberal

      God, they are making it worser and worser.

    • Spotts1701, Resistance Pilot

      So it’s “Health Care” in the same way that the Cleveland Browns are a “football team”?

    • Shibusa

      Sweet baby Jesus.

  • Sedagive ’em Hell

    I’ve had cancer three times. The third time my “health insurer” said “Thanks – buh bye!” By the time I finally got treatment the cancer had progressed one stage. I was told by the folks advocating for me that that was not an unusual occurrence. Before the ACA women advancing a stage waiting for this kind of cancer treatment was a thing (I do not have the stats for those numbers after the ACA).

    So, yeah: many of our fellow Americans want us dead. Many of our fellow Americans are so driven by vengeance and fear that they’ll slit their own throats rather than help someone else.

    It’s not just DC, it’s all of them, everywhere, who voted for these monsters. And it’s everyone who didn’t vote, too.

    May they reap what they have sown. And not just with votes.

  • arglebargle

    They do realize if all the fly-over state poors die there won’t be anyone left to vote for them, don’t they?

    • Bill D. Burger

      On their death beds, the RedState Trumpanzees, with their insurance dried up and taken away, will look heavenward and mumble, “Thanks Obama.”

  • ThePuckStopsHere

    And I’m proud to be an American where at least I’ve got pneumonia-eee …

  • chicken thief

    A bill so bad* the AMA and all other medical associations are against it. And also too, the Koch Brothers. But time is a wasting – let’s get our vote on!

    * in earlier iterations, who knows what the tweaks are

  • TJ Barke

    Club for Growth (of Cancer)

    • Msgr_MΩment

      Club for [Malignant] Growth[s]

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Malignant Club for Malignant Growth

    • wide_stance_hubby

      We taking the shackles OFF the tumor creators!

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Any similarity between fetuses and tumors is exactly why we support this bill.
        — The right to life movement

      • From Russia with Love

        More carcinogens! Less treatment!

        How in the fuck did this become a winning platform?

        • MynameisBlarney

          Because republicans are cunts.

    • MynameisBlarney

      Metastasizing for America.

  • MynameisBlarney
  • From Russia with Love

    OT, but I had a serious urge to stick this in somewhere, and this will have to do:

    “The head of NATO on Wednesday said the alliance will reschedule its upcoming meeting of foreign ministers to accommodate Secretary of State Rex Tillerson…”

    Great, NATO is happy to accommodate Putin and Tillerson.

    http://thehill.com/homenews/administration/325347-nato-to-reschedule-meeting-to-accommodate-tillerson

    • Martini Ambassador 🍸

      Calling the bluff, more than likely. “You said you couldn’t show up due to a scheduling conflict, so here, we changed the schedule. Get out of this one, monkey boy!”

      • Bill D. Burger

        Tillerson may require a ‘nap day’ to refresh himself and another reschedule might be necessary.

        • From Russia with Love

          I’m a little cranky without my binky and nap time. Let’s nuke Moscow.

      • From Russia with Love

        Hopefully.

  • Bill D. Burger

    The “Oh Hell NO!” Tea Potty Freedumb’ Caucus is now…”We’re close to getting an agreement we can live with.” ___ and that’s alll the more bitter for the Senate, which, I hope, will end it. But I’ve seen this “They never will do this or win that….” fucking shit fail already too many times.
    I won’t be surprised if it, in some form, passes out of the House and the Senate and Cheetolini signs it. And then the FOX, TrumpCo and Repuke enabling pundits begin the propaganda push with all force to blame Obummer, Demonrats’ and everyone else. The howler monkey Trumpanzees will watch their healthcare dry up and blame everyone but Trump and Ryan and the GOP.

    Yup…cynical I know. But I can only hope I’m proven wrong.

  • ariel_gee_398

    We’ve got two families of far-right billionaires (the Mercers and the Kochs) staking out positions on either side of the health insurance reform debate, using the American people as pawns in their proxy war. I have a feeling that, in their minds, this all ends with the Hunger Games.

  • Michael R
  • azeyote

    unregulated free market capitalism is the best thing to ever happen for crooks –

  • Crystalclear12

    I think I told someone in an earlier thread I was going to drink more coffee and less whiskey. I may have lied. This do anything and say anything to get passed approach could work.

Previous articleIs THIS Why Devin Nunes Pooped All Over His Own Trump-Russia Treason Investigation?