Trump Bone Zone

A Recap of the Reign of a Boorish President

Here are the highlights of the 45th President of the Unites States' term. Only the best fake news sources used.

  • 3/1/17
    Trump is surprised the press loved his address to congress [1]
  • 3/1/17
    NYT reports Obama White House spread intelligence to multiple agencies in case Trump WH decided to squash it [1]
  • 3/1/17
    Wapo reports AG Jeff Sessions met a Russian ambassador twice while working for Trump’s campaign. Sen Al Franken had asked him an indirect question about Russia and Sessions ended up committing perjury by mistake during his hearings. [1]
  • 3/2/17
    Sessions recuses himself from the Russia case [1]
  • 3/2/17
    Flynn and Kushner are both reported to have also met with a Russian Ambassador in December 2016. [1]
  • 3/2/17
    It is discovered Pence used personal email while governor and was hacked [1]
  • 3/2/17Trump asked for a different study that shows it would be benefical. Someone tell leaked the original report to the AP. [1]
  • 3/3/17
    Trump tweets a picture of Chuck Schumer with Putin and declares an investigation into it. Schumer, of course, dunks on him by explaining it was a state meeting, which we know because he released his taxes [1] [2]
  • 3/4/17
    Trump wakes up Saturday morning and has a tweet storm that bounces from topic to topic at random, includes: Sessions shouldn’t have recused himself, Obama wiretapped Trump Tower and did a Watergate, and Arnold Schwarzenegger was a loser game show host [1] [2]
  • 3/4/17
    Weekly visits to his shitty Florida resort costing $3 million per trip [1]
  • 3/5/17
    Pure panic across Washington sets in over wiretap tweets. FBI Director Comey is said to be incredulous and begs the DOJ to dismiss the allegations. [1]
  • 3/6/17
    Next Muslim Ban EO is signed which basically only takes Iraq off the list (15k ISIS members tho) and lets green card holders in. Still illegal. [1]
  • 3/6/17
    Republicans’ Obamacare replacement called the American Health Care Act and literally no one likes it. It removes the insurance mandate, turns subsidies into tax credits and give tax breaks to health care executives who make over 500k for some reason. [1]
  • 3/8/17
    China approves 38 trademarks Trump has been looking to get for more than a decade, including one for escorts. Backscratch deals are considered against the Constitution. [1]
  • 3/9/17
    Trump drops in on a White House tour group instead of meeting with Veteran groups, sending Omarosa in his place. [1]
  • 3/10/17
    Roger Stone, a former Nixon aide, Trump associate, and Alex Jones friend, took to Twitter and went on a drunken rampage. He declared he had back channels with Wikileaks and then harassed some women. This was proven true since he called the Podesta hacks far in advance. [1]
  • 3/13/17
    Kellyanne says Obama could’ve taped Trump through hacked microwaves [1]
  • 3/13/17Senate voted to approve Seema Verma for administrator of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, who helped impose mandatory fees for Medicaid in Indiana and work requirements for Medicaid in Kentucky.[1]
  • 3/13/17
    CBO releases it’s report on Trumpcare and it will cut 337 billion off the deficit. And also 24 million people will lose their health insurance. [1]
  • 3/13/17
    Ryan doubles down on fantasy by stating this is all actually a good thing in the name of choice [1]
  • 3/14/17
    HHS Secretary states the CBO is lying and biased(CBO head was appointed by GOP house in 2015) but then they release their internal numbers WHICH ARE EVEN WORSE with 26 million losing their insurance. Meaning the CBO was handicapping themselves. [1] [2]
  • 3/14/17
    NY Attorney General uncovers that Rex Tillerson used an alias e-mail account named “Wayne Tracker” to discuss climate change and other subjects while at Exxon.[1]
  • 3/14/17
    Ivanka Trump imported 53 tons of Chinese goods during her Dad’s inaugural speech in which he stated "Buy American, and Hire American" [1]
  • 3/14/17
    Rachel Maddow scoops Trump's 2005 tax returns and finds he paid $38 million in taxes, on $150 million in incoming, not counting another $100 million in income from his 1995 tax loss. It is heavily implied that Trump leaked his own taxes considering they could well be his best returns. [1]
  • 3/15/17
    Trump wakes up and whines about fake news and Snoop Dogg shooting a clown version of him in a music video [1]
  • 3/15/17
    House intel leaders find zero evidence that Obama had Trump wiretapped. [1]
  • 3/15/17
    Paul Ryan admits there is no way the AHCA bill can not pass in the House as is. [1]
  • 3/15/17
    Hawaiian Federal Judge strikes down the second Muslim ban, this time using Trump and his close advisers' words against them. [1]
  • 3/15/17
    Trump holds a rally in Nashville immediately after the judge struck down the ban, and rambles on about how we should go back to the original EO. Also leads the crowd into "Lock her up" chants (reminder: multiple Trump cabinet members have been using private e-mail accounts). [1]
  • 3/16/17
    A 2018 budget is unveiled that has massive increases to defense spending, and major cuts to the EPA and things like arts and Meals on Wheels. [1]
  • 3/16/17
    Sebastian Gorka, a top national security adviser to President Trump and all around nutjob, is found to be a member of Vitezi Rend, a Hungarian group of Neo-Nazis. [1]
  • 3/16/17
    An airstrike on a mosque in Aleppo is called, leaving dozens upon dozens dead. [1]
  • 3/17/17
    Trump and Angela Merkel, Germany PM, have a meeting, and during the photo op Merkel asks Trump if they would like to shake hands, which he refuses. Then they have a press conference where he implies they were both wiretapped by Obama, and that he gets his sources from Fox News instead of the agencies he runs. [1] [Video]
  • 3/17/17
    Trump admin files papers to the federal court in Maryland to appeal the second Muslim ban. [1]
  • 3/19/17
    The White House has been installing aides in Cabinet agencies that are checking and testing loyality to Trump. A move that hasn't been done by previous presidents. [1]
  • 1/11/17
    Trump is presented with information about Russia's role in the 2016 election, which he strongly asked Russia for help during a press conference [1]
  • 1/11/17
    Refusing to fully divest from worldwide business holdings [1]
  • 1/20/17Immediately signed first bill that makes it much harder for lower and middle income Americans to get a mortgage, and signed a useless first order that "scales back" ACA regulations [1]
  • 1/21/17
    Trump does a speech at the CIA in front of the Memorial Wall and ends up pissing off the agency by rambling and congratulating himself for winning. He brought 40 of his cronies with him to applaud him. [1]
  • 1/22/17Trump gets mad because his inauguration brings in much less than Obama. Sends out Sean Spicer to make a fool of himself to the press and lie about the size. [1] [2]
  • 1/25/17
    Lies about voter fraud since he feels insecure that he lost the popular vote bigly [1]
  • 1/25/17
    Insisting on using unsecured Android phone [1]
  • 1/26/17
    Losing an entire department of senior State Dept personnel to mass resignation [1]
  • 1/27/17
    Attempted to bar American citizens and green card holders from reentry into country due to being Muslim [1]
  • 1/27/17
    Drove people in mass to protest and shut down airports across the country, leading to record ACLU donations [1]
  • 1/27/17
    Not mentioning Jews during a fucking holocaust remembrance [1]
  • 1/28/17
    Refused to record call with Putin [1]
  • 01/29/2017Sent Navy SEALS to do a mission in Yemen that Obama passed on due to lack of intel, which ended up being far more dangerous than thought, leading to dozens of civilians, a SEAL and an American 8yo dead. Also lost a $75mil Osprey. [1]
  • 1/30/17Signs bill allowing coal companies to dump pollution into water sources because why not [1]
  • 1/31/17Telling federal law enforcement to ignore white supremacist groups which are now infiltrating our police depts. [1] [1]
  • Gave cabinet positions to key PAC donors [1]
  • 2/1/17Additional reporting showed Trump OK’d the Yemeni raid over dinner with Bannon and his son-in-law, and was not in the situation room during the raid. He was also tweeting during it (tweets later deleted) [1]
  • 2/4/17Having the Muslim Ban swiftly overturned by the courts. Trump cries like a baby and says he'll see them in court. [1]
  • 2/6/17
    Kellyanne Conway gets blackballed from many news shows because of constant lying [1] [2] [3]
  • 2/6/17
    Trump hates that Sean Spicer was impersonated by a woman [1]
  • 2/6/17
    Trump signs an Executive Order where he didn't know he was placing Bannon on the National Security Council [1]
  • 2/8/17
    Wife and son costing taxpayers $410,000 per day to protect in their tower [1]
  • 2/9/17Senate confirms Jeff Sessions (a virutal Klansman) attorney general. [1]
  • 2/9/17
    Using the office of the president to advertise daughter’s failing clothing line [1]
  • 2/9/17
    Report says Flynn privately discussed sanctions imposed on Russia by Obama in December 2016. [1]
  • 2/9/17Trump turned back opposition to One China policy, and magically got a trademark for his brand in China that he fought years to get [1]
  • 2/10/17Report says Flynn lied to FBI about contents of the phone calls with the Russian ambassador, and he did actually talk about sanctions with Russia [1]
  • 2/11/16
    Crashed a wedding with the fucking Japanese PM [1]
  • 2/11/16Discussed classified military intelligence in front of a crowd of civilians to look cool and allowed unsecured phone cameras to be held over secret briefing docs. [1]
  • 2/12/17
    Literally ignoring a major natural disaster with a dam collapse in California [1]
  • 2/13/17Flynn resigns [1]
  • 2/14/17
    Trump told Flynn to resign because he lied to VP Pence that he hadn’t talked to the ambassador about sanctions. Trump apparently knew for weeks beforehand. [1]
  • 2/14/17
    Secret Service Director resigns [1]
  • 2/14/17NYT reports Trump’s campaign had many discussions with Russian intelligence [1]
  • 2/15/17CEO of Carl Jr revokes his shot at Labor Sec because Oprah released vid of his wife talking about him beating her [1] [Video]
  • 2/16/17Does insane 77 minute press conference on which he claims he isn’t ranting and raving. Goes on rants about Hillary, Uranium being dangerous and stuff, tells a Jewish man he asked an unfair question when asked if he would say something to stop anti semitism, and presumes a black reporter knows how to get in contact with the black caucus. [1] [Video]
  • 2/16/17FOX NEWS reports Trump was briefed on Flynn’s call to the ambassador, which means Trump ordered the call, or told Flynn to lie to Pence, or both [1]
  • 2/16/17Picks a new national security advisor and he refuses [1]
  • 2/17/17AP leaks draft memo stating National Guard being used to “round up” undocumented immigrants [1]
  • 2/17/17Trump declares the media the enemy of the American people except Fox and Friends which are really nice [1]
  • 2/18/17Audio tapes leak of Trump selling off access to sit in on interviews with potential cabinet members [1]
  • 2/18/17Holds first campaign rally of 2020 at day 30 of his Presidency in 2017. Cause that is normal. Invites clearly deranged fan on stage unchecked my secret service. [1]
  • 2/18/19Lies about a terrorist attack in Sweden that never happened [1]
  • 2/20/17Started calling his Florida resort Mar-a-Lago the “Winter White House” but realized he still would like to go to it every weekend so changed it to “Southern White House” [1]
  • 2/20/17Named Lt Gen HR McMaster as the Director of the National Security Council, no one in the NSC was alerted about it until the news broke. Also apparently since he is in active duty, he could not decline. [1]
  • 2/21/17In 30 days in office, spent six full days playing golf [1]
  • 2/21/17Gets rejected by UK parliament to visit and speak [1]
  • 2/22/17
    Politico reports staff has to give Trump positive reports from right wing sites and blogs to keep his spirits up or else he lashes out on Twitter [1]
  • 2/22/17Reverses Obama policy on Transgenders not getting bashed for trying to take a shit [1]
  • 2/23/17Bannon and Priebus had a interview at CPAC in which Bannon, in his own words, vowed a daily battle for the “deconstructive of the administrative state” [1]
  • 2/23/17Spicer indicates that Trump admin may crack down on states with loose marijuana laws [1]
  • 2/24/17CNN reports that the White House asked the FBI to tell reporters that the investigations against Trump/Dossier/Russia were not happening and they declined [1]
  • 2/24/17Trump speaks at CPAC, says nothing except “We’re all Americans, no matter what color we bleed” [1]
  • 2/24/17Trump admin enlisted Sen Burr and Rep Nunes, who are on Senate and House intelligence committees, to tell the media there was nothing to the Russia ties [1]
  • 2/25/17Spicer doesn’t let CNN, NYT, BBC and others into a private press briefing [1]
  • 2/25/17DHS spiked a report after the Trump admin said it didn’t like its findings, which was the Muslim ban was worthless [1]
  • 2/26/17Trump declined to go to the White House Correspondents Dinner because they hurt his fee fees [1]
  • 2/27/17Trump said “Nobody knew that health care could be so complicated.” in a healthcare forum (everyone did) [1]
  • 2/27/17Proposes adding $56 billion in federal defense spending [1]
  • 2/27/17NBC News reports the Yemen raid brought no significant intelligence to be useful. The SEAL who passed’s father wants an investigation [1]
  • 2/27/17Gizmodo gets recorded audio of Trump wanting a 10% tariff on all imported goods, which would be put directly on consumers [1]
  • 2/26/17Spicer has started checking staff phones to find the leakers, was asked to do so by Trump [1]
  • 2/28/17On Fox and Friends, Trump blames protests on Obama, the raid on Obama , gave himself an A for effort on his job [1]
  • 2/28/17Trump, on a call to PA attorney general, implies that Jews are desecrating their own graveyards and calling in bomb threats for sympathy? [1]
  • 2/28/17DeVos remarks on how historically black colleges and universities are "pioneers of school choice." (they had no choice) [1]
  • 2/28/17NEWT GINGRICH calls for an independent investigation on Trump’s Russia ties [1]
  • 2/28/17WaPo reports the FBI took the dossier so seriously weeks before the election, it planned to pay the British spy for it [1]
  • 2/28/17Trump delivers his statement to congress (the not-SOTU) and gives a mostly benign, but coherent 70 minute speech. Highlights include VOICE (tattle on your immigrant neighbors to get them arrested) and using Navy SEAL Ryan’s widow as political exploitation. (OPs opinion: the most disgusting thing he has done yet) [1] [Video]