Im 32, sick since 10 years (chronic lyme disease first got only worse for 7 years then treated it with diet and herbs fuck doctors and their drugs), basically i got the disease "under control" when im not in a water damaged Building (it triggers it/makes it worse). But i dont know if i ever get to 100% again. Being in this for 10 years, i really dont know.

On welfare now, don't know what to do with my life to be honest. Had so much Motivation and was hard worker when i was healthy 100%.

Im a good/great musician/Songwriter but my parents never believed in me, although i won several prices and people told me to go pro but i lost the confidence because of my health. One good gig where my health was okay and i get raving reviews, one gig where my voice would sound like crap because of the health issues.

As much as a i love making music or anything else at the end of the day i lose the motivation for anything else because im sick. It Needs to have that spark for me. Only music is something where i get this push through Feeling and the Motivation needed to do the hard work while being in a far from good state. But its not as strong as in my 20s because i tryed it hard while i was way too sick.

I really dont know if im well enough to work. I should do a job from home. My father is sick with early alzheimers now, he always wanted me to make something out of my life but its fucking hard when youre sick.

What would you do?