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SFYL - Bitfinex announces generalized losses across all accounts/assets to cover hack. All users take 36.067% haircut (np.reddit.com)

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[–]vslashg 47 ポイント48 ポイント  (8子コメント)

This is ballsy. Bitfinex is running an exit scam while attempting to stay around for another one.

It might actually work! Cryptocurrency boobs might actually be dumb enough to continue using their exchange!

[–]Uaaff 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Oh they're plenty dumb enough. I was just talking to a guy a couple days ago on /r/bitcoin who said he would continue to use them because since they're being so "transparent" and they say they'll fix the problems with the site it means they're trustworthy and that a problem won't happen a second time.

[–]personnedepene 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Imagine if the hackers also shorted bitcoin on another exchange, just to cover their losses in case of price drop?

[–]SoundOfOneHand 15 ポイント16 ポイント  (4子コメント)

We'll see what happens when people start withdrawing funds en masse...

[–]vslashg 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Sure, it very well might not work. But if you look at it from the right crooked angle, it makes perfect sense to try. What have they got to lose, except for the rest of their customers' money?

[–]UniversalSnip 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Well... the rest of the customers' money. They could have just taken it.

[–]Angron_ 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (0子コメント)

the haircut will get deeper i expect lol

[–]NotHyplon 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

"Due to security patching withdrawals are temporarily unavailable" or they just minus your account with them anyway.

Note that this behavior is not something a regulated financial could do without a metric fuck ton of paper work and even then i am not sure if it could be done unilaterally.

[–]GAW_CEO 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

This should be a good darwin test for people who continue to trade there.

[–]arretadodapeste 30 ポイント31 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Dear diary, today skulls were fucked

[–]boof_de_doof 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Dear Penthouse,

I always thought these letters were fake, but here I am, writing to you...

[–]dezmodium 23 ポイント24 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Gems from the comments on the official release!

Yes, those who simply had USD sitting in their accounts are going to take a haircut also. The fact that this is totally illegal doesn’t seem to be bothering Bitfinex. Don’t accept this people. Litigate!

Smart guy. Flex your muscle, right? Not so fast says the other commentors:

Uh no. If you drag this through the litigation process everyone losses and the only winners are parasitic lawyers after they’ve gut and drain whatever is in the liquidity asset pot from a protracted legal process. While Bitfinex’s proposed restitution propose means your account takes a major hit it’s still way better than the alternative. This is the least worse of the outcomes and I’m speaking as someone who has funds in both USD and BTC in the exchange at the time of the hack.

Hahaha, okay buddy! What other advice do they have for our litigious friend here?

Once you litigate you push BFX into bankruptcy. Common law states that all equal creditors must be treated equal. Since you signed up to the same terms that I and every one else did, the court will decide that all assets are distributed equally. That is exactly what BFX are doing, only they safe us time, hassle and legal fees. But if you want to litigate just for fun, go for it.

See, Bitfinix is just out for you, the buttcoiner!

Onto our next gem:

i might buy them while ppl are dumping.

Our pillar of industry has the right idea! His wallet is now light on BTC so the best thing to do in this case is stock back up. Right back into Bitfinex, I'm sure.

Some people got super excited:

TOTALLY ACCEPTABLE. THANK YOU FOR YOUR EFFORTS BITFINEX.

I am so sorry for the mETH-head's loss:

This is so funny I now have had the same Ethereum stolen twice within a month first by a hack now an exchange.

I suspect this "customer" will be getting his check in the mail very soon:

Thanks Bitfinex. My aunt, who has a law PhD and is judge at the commercial appeals court in Berlin, confirms that during bankruptcy proceedings the judges would decide to treat each creditor equally, as long as everyone signed up to the same terms. Since every customer on Finex did so, and since the terms did not contain any preferential treatment clause for USD or altcoins, your procedure is correct. Have a nice Sunday and thanks for making this as quick and affordable as possible.

Never change, butters. Never change.

[–]Reddit_Is_Trash_ 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

the only winners

LOL

It doesn't matter how it works out, "the only winners" ain't gonna be you

[–]Reddit_Is_Trash_ 21 ポイント22 ポイント  (2子コメント)

36.067% + the price drop

[–]Olathe 35 ポイント36 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What do you mean, "the price drop"?!

1 BTC = 0.63933 BTC

[–]spookthesunset 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stop cherry picking dates. BTC is still up 10000% from when it was released by Satoshi.

[–]robot_slave 19 ポイント20 ポイント  (2子コメント)

My god, they gave the losers a new make-believe currency to replace the stolen make-believe currency.

Now we wait for Poloniex to start trading BFX derivatives?

[–]unmodster 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Poloniex will be all over that action. They were the first ones to support Ethereum Classic and they have numerous other dodgy alt coins.

[–]robot_slave 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You're right. They're the most professional, least ideologically biased electric-poker-chip exchange in the business.

[–]alphgeek 20 ポイント21 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's a good thing that unlike the statists, in the crypto world companies can't just print money out of nothing by sheer fiat and expect the sheep to happily accept it as if it had real value.

The BFX is backed by maths. What a great day where we get to witness the birth of a powerful new crypto currency.

[–]boof_de_doof 18 ポイント19 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Not that I'm surprised, but they're really cracker jacks over at /r/BitcoinMarkets.

[–]JeanneDOrc 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Everyone is so happy to get fucked! It shouldn't surprise me, but i'm astonished at how many persons are planning on sticking around.

They can't get hacked twice!!! That makes them unassailable and twice as safe as those who haven't been hacked yet!

[–]boof_de_doof 22 ポイント23 ポイント  (2子コメント)

You know how when a plane crashes into a mountain at 500mph they put it back together and start accepting passengers again?

Yeah, I'm usually the first to buy that ticket too.

[–]JeanneDOrc 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The odds are astronomic!

[–]w2qw 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (1子コメント)

They can't get hacked twice!!! That makes them unassailable and twice as safe as those who haven't been hacked yet!

I think you mean thrice http://forklog.net/bitfinex-spokesperson-all-stolen-user-funds-will-be-reimbursed/ ...

[–]JeanneDOrc 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Even though, according to official information, only 0.5% of all user Bitcoins have been stolen, the actual amount of compromised currency is quite impressive. Thus, at the time of writing, the wallet contains 1,581 BTC or $373,436

I see butters keep lowering their expectations of security.

[–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

[deleted]

    [–]JeanneDOrc 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    No rational actor would ever cheap out on security, especially when they can barely afford to keep the lights on in their US headquarters (aka Zane's basement "apartment".)

    [–]AussieCryptoCurrency 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

    The one thing that I have not heard from them nor does it appears that they are doing is liquidating all of their investments and using those proceeds to get that 36% IOU lower.

    With no regulations, you bail out everyone! You trust the very same people who lost your money to begin with. And it's opaque as frozen jizz! No gubmint required!

    [–]spilk 12 ポイント13 ポイント  (8子コメント)

    Is that percentage off of all forms of holdings on the exchange, or just BTC? i.e. if you just had a real-money balance are they shaving 36% off of that too?

    I'm sure they calculated that percentage by making it up. Couldn't be a nice even number because that wouldn't look legit enough.

    [–]FlacidPhil[S] 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (7子コメント)

    All forms of holdings are getting the cut. Pretty savage to hit all the ether holders, their subs are much more upset about it than the Bitcoin subs.

    [–]spilk 13 ポイント14 ポイント  (5子コメント)

    That sounds totally illegal.

    [–][削除されました]  (1子コメント)

    [deleted]

      [–]johnrgrace 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Calvinball

      [–]dezmodium 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Well, that's the benefit of un-regulation!

      [–]AussieCryptoCurrency 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      That sounds totally illegal.

      It would be if this weren't Phil "proud insider trader" Potter. And if the operation wasn't an empty warehouse in Singapore

      [–]spookthesunset 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Code is law, yo.

      [–]VirtualMoneyLover 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      understandable. If your bank's gold is stolen why should the silver holders take a haircut?

      [–]NotHyplon 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (1子コメント)

      Remember when Cyprus did this and butters exploded in euphoria that it was the end of times and bitcoin would save the day anytime now? Also that the banks were evil scumfucks etc etc.

      Now BitNotFinex does it and it's all ok?

      [–]mworkman02 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      What is the exchange rate of BFX tokens to MT Gox coins that were created after MTGox ran away with the money?

      [–]DoctorDbx51% sandwiches 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Days since SFYL: 0

      [–]contentBat 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (1子コメント)

      So they are basically implementing tax on the rich.

      [–]Aardvaarkian 16 ポイント17 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      *flat tax on the stupid and greedy. Satisfying and just. Glorious.

      [–]AussieCryptoCurrency 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (2子コメント)

      I love how the post says something like...

      don't worry how we figured out it was 36.067%, we'll post that soon.

      Do people honestly think this shit is transparency?

      This is exactly why there are gubmint regulations...because society would implode if people woke up every day and found their 401k was only 66% of its value because calculations to come, watch the blog.

      [–]OmegaBlue0231 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Especially risky since we don't know if they just took the money and are now getting to double dip.

      [–]BiPolarBulls 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Theft from one turns into theft from all.

      [–]Skullfukd 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      This is good for Bitcoin

      [–]rooktakesqueen 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (1子コメント)

      And markets apparently jumped 1.5% on the news, because this is good for Bitcoin.

      [–]bitawareaustralia 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      No, the 1.5% jump was due to an old lady accidentally depositing $50 from her pension into a Bitcoin ATM.

      [–]jiimbojones 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (7子コメント)

      Not even a lie that they will do something to make up for just taking coins from everyone. That's amazing.

      At least some sort of lie of fee discounts or that they will credit the money back to their account over time or something to make it look like they aren't just stealing money from all their users to make up for the loss.

      [–]Aardvaarkian 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (6子コメント)

      Not even a lie that they will do something to make up for just taking coins from everyone.

      Huh?

      In the meantime, In place of the loss in each wallet, we are crediting a token labeled BFX to record each customer’s discrete losses. Tokens will be distributed without release or waiver. The BFX tokens will remain outstanding until redeemed in full by Bitfinex or possibly exchanged—upon the creditor’s request and Bitfinex’s acceptance—for shares of iFinex Inc. We are still sorting out many details on this; we will post further updates in the coming days.

      You call that nothing?!

      [–]Reworp 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

      Here, accept some equity we are issuing because our organization is insolvent. This is a good deal.

      [–]robot_slave 14 ポイント15 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      equity

      You mean "electric raffle tickets that we could convert to equity if we felt like it, but who are we kidding?"

      [–]roidragequit 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (3子コメント)

      of course

      [–]Aardvaarkian 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

      https://www.reddit.com/r/BitcoinMarkets/comments/4wggb9/bitfinex_interim_update/d66y2lw :D

      More on BFXtoken:

      "To me this is just a milestone in the crypto venture capital revolution so I will fully support it. This event should shed some light that a company can raise money through an ICO AND investors can buy into their financial future."-- https://www.reddit.com/r/Bitcoin/comments/4wge37/bitfinex_interim_update_plans_to_compensate_users/d66z5xu

      [–]alphgeek 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (1子コメント)

      The crypto venture capital revolution - forced capital raising from the crime victims after a stealthy asset stripping...it's a bit like the old testament thing where the rape victim was forced to marry the rapist.

      [–]Aardvaarkian 11 ポイント12 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      ...and when the victim returns for more? That's Battered Butter Syndrome, Betty.

      [–]SnapshillBot 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      When buzzing from euphoria a buzzword is created.

      Snapshots:

      1. This Post - 1, 2, 3, 4

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      [–][deleted] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

      Remember back when one of the big selling points of buttcoin was supposed to be to keep the evil dirty banks/government from stealing your monies?

      plus ça change...