Women should not have equal pay and a vagina at the same time. One source of income is enough.

This girl told me "I like it when my boyfriend is taller than me." I said "I like it when my girlfriend is shorter than me, that way I don't have to raise my hand as high to slap her."

Equal pay? The day a man can pick a woman much more attractive than himself and be out on a date with her in 30 minutes, have her pay for his dinner and movie, then be guaranteed to finish the night with sex is the day that women should get equal pay.

Adam rubbed his balls on Eve's face and said "how you like EM apples?"

Bitches call me spermbank because I'm straight money in the sack.

As men, we have to admit that women are not just sex objects. We must not forget their other roles such as cooker and cleaner.

Al Capone escaped from Alcatraz. Harry Houdini escaped from a tank of water with his hands cuffed. But could either one escape the friendzone?

I asked this girl out and she said "but you're like my brother." I replied, "are you saying you're into incest?"

One day when I get rich I will get a big booty bitch to bring me breakfast in bed. I will only communicate to her via morse code via ass slaps.

I believe in equality. That's why if I pay for the date, I make that bitch pay for the raisin.

What do women and capitalists have in common? They both exploit the labour of men and control the means of production.