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But he has a rose and everything!

We don’t know how to tell you this, but beloved U.S. American “president” Donald Trump has had two encounters with foreign leaders in the space of two days, and both of them were just a wee bit OMG AWKWARD.

Today, Friday, is St. Patrick’s Day (drink if you’re shamelessly pretending to be Irish!), but it was Thursday when the taoiseach (prime minister) of Ireland, Enda Kenny, stood with Donald Trump and proceeded to ‘splain him his business on the subject of immigration. Oh, and he did it so nicely! He told the story of St. Patrick, patron saint of Ireland, and also patron saint of (ahem Trump are you listening?) immigrants. It was beautiful. Trump just had to stand there and take it, probably silently wishing he was upstairs in the White House residence in his bathrobe with no underpants, watching “Fox & Friends.” You will want to watch this video:

It’s fitting that we gather here each year to celebrate St. Patrick and his legacy. He too of course was an immigrant. And though he is, of course, the patron saint of Ireland, for many people around the globe he’s also a symbol of — indeed the patron of — immigrants.

Here in America, in your great country, 35 million people claim Irish heritage, and the Irish have contributed to the economic, social, political, and cultural life of this great country over the last 200 years. Ireland came to America because, deprived of liberty, deprived of opportunity, of safety, of even food itself, the Irish believed.

And four decades before Lady Liberty lifted her lamp, we were the wretched refuse on the teeming shore. We believed in the shelter of America, in the compassion of America, in the opportunity of America. We came and we became Americans. We lived the words of John F. Kennedy long before he uttered them: We asked not what America can do for us, but what we could do for America. And we still do.

What a wonderful message for Trump to hear! Of course, we bet his inner monologue was something like “I love the Irish. They’re tremendous. St. Patrick’s Day, green, so very green, it’s gonna be so green you’re gonna get tired of green. Leprechaun! I don’t even think of Irish people as immigrants or refugees, because they’re not brown. I don’t like brown people, they are not nice to Trump.” (As if Irish immigrants were treated SO well when they came to America generations ago. More on that over at GQ magazine!)

But still, what a nice message Prime Minister Kenny had! This, by the way, was the message, if you didn’t catch it:

In our second video, we are simply going to watch what happened today at the White House when German Chancellor Angela Merkel sat at the press pool spray with Trump, and how, as MSNBC’s Kyle Griffin notes, they didn’t talk to each other, they didn’t shake hands, they barely even LOOKED at each other.

Alas:

This is a far cry from Merkel’s relationship with President Obama, which was so great that every time they appeared together, they basically played “Got yer nose!” and said inside jokes to each other for HOURS, before declaring their undying love for each other to whatever cameras and microphones were looking at them.

Indeed, Donald Trump is not mastering the fine art of diplomacy. And when you combine these encounters with Secretary of State Rex Tillerson’s sudden need to stop doing negotiations on North Korea because he was very ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, you can fairly well surmise that we are doomed, we say, fucking DOOMED.

Anyway, Happy St. Patrick’s Day, hope this post lifted your spirits!

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  • Zippy W Pinhead

    Don’t worry, once we preemptively nuke Pyongyang, we’ll forget about all this silly awkwardness, as well as all that Russia talk.

    SQUIRREL!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      The public may not know it yet, but Operation Final Squirrel is already underway.

      • laughingnome

        It’s the Final Squirrel Solution.

        • puredog

          Too much syllables.
          “Final Squirrelution.”

    • mardam422

      Yeah. We’ll all be looking at the squirrel because we’ll need to eat it after everything else is vaporized.

  • TJ Barke

    We’ve reached a point where we need the Germans to take down the nazi occupied government of America. Think about that.
  • Nightcrawler

    So lemme get this straight.

    The future of the west hinges upon Angela Merkel against Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin?

    If that’s not a role reversal I don’t know what is.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Also China. I’m sure Xi Jinping would love to see the free press become a thing of the past.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Well, we got it half-right. The only thing that can save us from Donald Trump is a strong female leader.

  • WotsAllThisThen

    Sure Trump had to stand there silently, but in his head he’s composing the next version of his travel ban.

    • puredog

      Right: “Lord Dampnut, Legal Draftsman.”

  • specialcircumstances

    You just know Angela grabbed him by the pussy…

    • Lascauxcaveman

      I don’t think so. She’s keeping her distance, smart girl.

      But in that photo with Bamz, with her arms outspread in a gesture of surprise, I like to think she’s saying “It’s twuue! It’s twuuue!”

      • Lamashtar

        I was imagining a prose version of “The Hills Are Alive With Music”:

        “Vell, ja, da hills do have music, but there are so many mosquitoes, ick.”

  • Wild Cat

    In the 1970s and 1980s, drunken people spent St. Paddy’s Day in NYC beating up Teh Coloreds and Teh Gays.

    Now they’ve grown up and all have Fox “News” jobs.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      Betcha Hannity and O’Reilly slugged a few.

      • Wild Cat

        Kelly probably beat up Teh Colored Santas for the purity of the white children . . .

      • Ducksworthy

        Nah mon. Look at their tiny white hands.

      • puredog

        Hannity probably just shot them.

  • Asterix

    While Kenny’s speech was very good, it was also hypocritical. Ireland isn’t handling their immigrants all that well – though not as badly as we do.

    • Lamashtar

      America has a long tradition of righteous hypocrisy, but somebody’s got to say the thing, so he’s well in.

  • Monsieur_Grumpe

    I was hoping Merkel would give tRump a nutsack punch or two. No such luck.

    • Asterix

      She’s too cool for that. Sadly.

    • Anna Rompage

      She’s got to uphold some amount of decorum, now that she is the official leader of the free world…

      • Monsieur_Grumpe

        Well, she did actually read Playboy for the articles.

  • Asterix

    After this week, tomorrow’s twitter tantrum will be epic.

  • Lizzietish81

    And Merkel though the W Shoulder Rubs were awkward as hell.

  • JMP

    I don’t know why Donald and Merkel would have trouble getting along, I mean it’s not like he’s repeated ridiculous on her from the extreme right that basically boil down to, “how dare the leader of Germany betray the heritage of our intellectual forefather by not being a horrible genocidal racist against Muslims!”

  • Michael Smith

    Don’t let wingnuts read about how the Irish were treated. It won’t make them reconsider their own bigoted stances on immigration today, but, inexplicably they will use it to justify slavery.

    • Nightcrawler

      Nowadays they use “mistreatement of Irish and Italians” as a bludgeon to attack brown immigrants.

    • Villago Delenda Est

      Two generations removed, and suddenly they imagine that their grandparents were treated like “white people” when they arrived at Ellis Island.

      • MamaBrown

        meanwhile, the Americans who were watching with horror as the Irish arriving in droves wondered plaintively why they wouldn’t shake off the thralldom of their dark and barbarous religion and become good Protestants, you know, try to be more like “real” Americans?

    • Nightcrawler

      Also, St. Patrick’s day seems to be the unofficial day where white people cannot tell the difference between indentured servitude and chattel slavery.

      • Ducksworthy

        Indentured servants evolve into neo-confederate traitors whose whole identity and standing in the social order is dependent on trying to make the descendants of the chattel slaves feel inferior.

        • Seek

          Perfect summarization!

    • Ducksworthy

      And eating children.

  • Villago Delenda Est

    No shit, the Germans are looking at beefing up their military, because their principle ally is no longer reliable.

  • jodyleek

    Sort of OT but I love Tracey Ullman’s impersonation of Angela Merkel. And her Judi Dench is hilarious and so perfect it’s scary.

    • Tracy Ullman is a genius.

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Tracey Ullman’s level of raw talent is unreal. As a comedy writer, she has her flaws. But as a comic actress, she can do anything. Personally, I think she’s underutilized. I’d love to see more of her.

      • jodyleek

        Did you see her 2016 HBO series? So good.

        • Lance Thrustwell

          Haven’t yet! I’ve got the HBO Go thing, though, so I should be able to see it. Thanks for the reminder!

          • jodyleek

            Her shtick is that all the various heads of state are after her bod because her version of Angela considers herself irresistible.

      • puredog

        I’ve always thought so, but thought her turn as a Brit writer in NYC on Girls last week was needlessly overbroad, in that particular context.

  • Mpeg

    At least Donnie didnt point at his unruly necktie and ask Kenny, “Ya don’t got any Scotch tape on you, do ya?”

  • I noticed that trump had the same constipated look on his face sitting next to Chancellor Merkel as he always had when he was near President Obama.

    It’s a tell on how overmatched he is….and he knows it.

    • boyblue122

      he has trouble making eye contact too, also

      • Liberoid Ron

        Primate dominance behaviour – and he’s losing.

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      It’s peevish jealousy. What they have that he hasn’t got?

      • …and it can’t be bought.

      • yyyaz

        Said every loser, every time everywhere.

  • Annie Towne

    She’s performing that opening song from The Sound of Music for her #1 fan.

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    How Donald Trump does diplomacy:

    *Walks into conference room, sits down.*

    “Okay, before we get started. let’s cut through the bullshit. What’s in it for me?“

  • Wild Cat

    If Bush the Painter massaged Merkel, WTF is the neo-nazi gonna do???

    • Anna Rompage

      Ask for a surplus Nazi uniform for Bannon & the rest of his inner crew?

      Maybe he could get Jarred a nice burlap outfit with a star sewn onto it…

      • Wild Cat

        I think they bought them already off of eBay.

      • Villago Delenda Est

        I don’t see how even Hugo Boss can make Bannon acceptable to be displayed in public.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    Rule #1 of International Diplomacy: DO. NOT. PISS. OFF. THE. GERMANS!

    • Villago Delenda Est

      You can actually piss off the Germans, but you’d better have some munitions to fall back on if you do.

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent
    • Nightcrawler

      Aye laddie, but ye shouldn’t shouldn’t piss off an Irishman neither.

      • Rick Hill

        But it is ok to get an Irishman pissed….

      • Latverian Diplomat

        Both nations have large stockpiles of ammunition for their potato guns.

    • Latverian Diplomat

      Well, this is how it played out in Trump’s head:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGauZm2pOSQ

  • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

    Germany has the sane and rational leader while America has the bloviating dumbass with bad hair.

    That’s one HELL of a role reversal.

    Also, hey! St. Patrick’s!

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/007cc174d66d0c24d592cf730c8e4935d2694cf6df8dee6f99a1a98b9176b99a.png

    • Wild Cat

      I loathe the history of modern Germany from the 1890s genocidal colonialism to the horrors of WWI and WWII. But we were not only an empire built on slavery, we didn’t even allow African Americans to vote until a century after the “end of slavery.”

      • Nightcrawler

        Not to mention how we continually treat the ORIGINAL PEOPLE who were here first like second class citizens and have lied to them more times than one could count.

      • ladyblug

        Yep- those in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. Speaking of stones, isn’t that what the elderly and children will be dining on in the near future!?

      • Yr. Gma

        Both sides do it?

  • cmd resistor

    Ok, he looks like he has a serious case of gas. She looks pretty normal, with a touch of, WTF am I doing here. Her hair looks better than his, actually quite good. How the hell can he just sit there and be so rude? AND, this makes me sad because it made me remember when I thought how cool it would be when Merkel and Hillary met as leaders.

    • Courser_Resistance

      I was looking forward to it too. What a powerhouse pair! I’m also very sad that Angela’s facing a MUCH harder road than if she still had a strong relationship with the US President. She’s a very strong leader, but there are serious forces afoot in Europe as well. Hell, every fucking one of our Allies is worse off with Orange Shitgibbon quite literally terrorizing the entire fucking WORLD.

      • cmd resistor

        I just saw them getting shit done.

  • Asterix

    Trump is apparently threatening to pull the US out of the UNHRC (if not the UN itself). At this point, if I were the UN, or any of our allies, I’d say good, go, we’ll talk to the US again when it is sane again. And, don’t let the door hit you on the ass on the way out or we’ll send you a bill for fixing it. NATO, UN, all of our allies, should just say fuck this shit, we’re outta here.

    • Courser_Resistance

      Problem is, a bunch of the countries in the UNHRC ARE human-rights abusers! If the US pulls out (with it’s $$, of course) that leaves the UNHRC badly unbalanced in favor of abusers.

      • Asterix

        I don’t think our being there, under this administration, is going to help. I think it will make it worse.

    • boyblue122

      thats Putin’s masterplan. Try to dismantle NATO so he pick off countries nearby him one by one

      • Asterix

        I agree. But having the US as an “ally” right now will not help the NATO nations. Yes, Putin wants everything destabilized but the NATO nations would be better off going it alone without the US right now.

        • ltmcdies

          sorry to have to agree with this statement. just today before his nap, Tillerson was mouthing off about war…when actually the American position hasn’t really changed. Obama kept the military option on the table for North Korea, he just didn’t threaten it first

          Canada is a NATO member…how can Trumpsters be trusted with anything tougher than opening a whiskey bottle, I do not know.

    • ltmcdies

      I’ve been wondering if this isn’t starting to happen officially…nations working around the US until such as time as you guys can sort this business out.

  • Courser_Resistance

    I love the body language in the picture of Merkel and Obama (O’Bama since it’s St. Patty’s!). Lovely listening posture on the part of our Forever-President. Sitting, aware that he towers over people, arms in a wide, welcoming, relaxed way. Angela is teaching, Barry is learning.

    Damn that man has a wing-span!

    • Liberoid Ron

      This one is good too. Merkel is saying something she seems to feel is important, and Our Justin is paying respectful attention. More of that how-adults-do-it leadership. https://www.thestar.com/content/dam/thestar/news/canada/2015/12/02/paris-climate-summit-could-produce-weak-kneed-but-useful-half-measures-walkom/justin-trudeau-and-merkel.jpg

      • Courser_Resistance

        Really lovely. I’m also enjoying how leaders of other nations are schooling the Scorched Cheeto on immigrants and other important issues. They’re doing it so *nicely* (kill the fuckers with kindness if nothing else)

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Goddamn! Are these those adults I’ve heard so much about?

    • puredog

      Actually, though that picture looks leisurely, the backstory is that they had just been in a meeting with a gazillion other people, and it either ended or took a recess as attendees headed outside, pride of place going to the ranking attendees Angela and Barry. They had just arrived at the location of the photo and he had sat and manspread as she continued making a point she had been making as they walked. JUST off-camera are the other gazillion people, who are about to arrive where the two are talking.

  • Belasaurius

    he is so uncomfortable around Merkel, it’s a joy to watch

    • cmd resistor

      Because she’s smarter than he is? Because her hair looks better? Because she’s a girl?

      • Lance Thrustwell

        Yup, all three! She knows German and Russian fluently, probably speaks reasonably good English, has a doctorate in physical chemistry, and she actually has a clue about macroeconomics. One could argue she’s smarter than Obama; she’s certainly smarter than this chump.

      • dlemex

        And her hands are much more bigly!

        • cmd resistor

          Probably why he was afraid to shake them.

          • Celtic_Gnome

            Trump sitting the way he does at these photo ops, hunched forward with hands steepled between his legs may be to make his hand look bigger.

            Much like the length of his tie tries to accomplish that in “other areas”.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Don’t forget, bigger balls.

  • boyblue122

    The Irish PM’s speech was inspiring and a masterful way to insult Drumpf subtly

    • ltmcdies

      was this when Trump followed up with that “irish proverb” written by a Nigerian prince….or something..

      • whitroth

        Nigerian poet. Nigerian princes all have $25M they want to get out of the country (and if they say less, they’re a scam! Demand your share of the $25M!)

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Right, and did it on Dampnut’s turf… What’s that about Obama making America look weak, they were saying???

  • snigsy

    Diplomacy as understood by a five-year-old. (Who, by the way, is intimidated by intelligent women.) Tiny, tiny hands, indeed.

  • Antonin Dvorak

    I can’t wait for the next issue of Der Speigel to tear into this.

    • georgiaburning

      Bannon’s more partial to his old copies of Signal

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “So I told Merkel, I said, I don’t what your problem is, Putin loves me! She had no answer to that. She was just speechless. Boom, another total diplomatic victory!”
    — Donald Trump

  • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

    I can’t understand why they didn’t get along better. Apparently Trump told Merkel right at the outset that he owed a great debt to that well known German media relations expert Josef Goebbels. It seems that bothered her for some reason. Then he suggested she should lay off the beer and wurst, and things really went south.

    Women! Donnie just can’t figure ’em…

    • Ducksworthy

      Most of what Donnie thinks would be illegal in Germany.

  • Latverian Diplomat

    “I love Irish food. I don’t know what I’d do without Gaelic on my pizza.”
    — Donald Trump

    • Painter of Swedish Tragedies

      I usually pick the Gaelic off my pizza. It makes me burp.

  • Ducksworthy

    First time Merkel has ever had to sit in the stoopid corner.

  • Randy Riddle

    Love the look on Merkel’s face when Trump called a German reporter “fake news”.

    It was like she had daggers coming out of her eyes.

  • Greyhame

    What, upstairs in the White House? Fake news! Stairs are the Enemy of the People!

    Anyway, how does he manage to look so miserable in the Oval Office during these visits with other world leaders? Every time he just ends up squatting there on the iconic fireside chairs like a sullen toad, glowering, mostly silent.

    • Bub the Hoohah! loving Zombie

      He IS a sullen toad. He’s sitting in a pot of water, and the temperature keeps rising. And there’s no way out…

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Burn, motherfucker, burn…

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “That first state visit to Moscow can’t come soon enough. Those people know how to throw a party.”
      — Donald Trump

    • ariel_gee_398

      Wait a second, you might be on to something. Do you think Trump’s quarters at Mar-a-Lago are on the ground floor, and he goes there to avoid the dreaded stairs?

      • LucindathePook

        Sometimes I think he’s actually only able to “go” in his own bathrooms/scared to use strange ones, as they make him uncomfortable. Big sigh of relief when he gets to FL or if he ever goes back to NYC. .

        • puredog

          He might run into a transgender person in some other bathroom after all.

      • cmd resistor

        Actually I think I read they lived upstairs (maybe in the story where Melania went upstairs to change for a photo shoot while Trump assaulted the photographer?). Anyway, I bet they have an elevator.

        • Liberoid Ron

          No doubt. That’s not the body of a man who climbs ANYTHING.

    • Serai 1

      Compare with Bamz, who mostly was animated and interested during those photo ops. Christ, it’s like fucking NIGHT has descended on the country.

    • Ducksworthy

      The Sullen Toad, bravo.

    • dlemex

      Actually, he looks like he is waiting for Spicy to change his depends.

    • Celtic_Gnome

      Deep in the farthest recesses of his hindbrain, a glint of self-recognition knows that he’s utterly outclassed, and he’s afraid the world can see it, too.

  • goonemeritus

    Normally I don’t like it when foreigners make fun of our leader but today we are all foreigners in our own country. Tonight I will raise a glass of Jameson to the good Prime Minister and apologize for America’s shame.

  • hendenburg2

    Hey everyone! Totally OT, but still…

    Justin Trudeau took Ivanka to a Broadway play about how Canada (specifically, a town in Newfoundland) accepted a bunch of stranded travelers after 9/11.

    So on top of everything else there is to love/crush about him, dude’s a master at throwing shade!

    https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/15/theater/justin-trudeau-ivanka-trump-broadway-come-from-away.html?module=WatchingPortal

    • Yr. Gma

      I wonder if she had to change panties at intermission.

    • ltmcdies

      Gander Newfoundland….it’s a well known and pretty cool story in Canada but I was surprised they made a musical out of it.

      PM at the time…

      According to Prime Minister Chrétien, the number of flights was anywhere between 225 and 250 and the number of passengers between 30,000 and 45,000.

      Little Gander took 38 planes

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Yellow_Ribbon

      • hendenburg2

        Not even its first production either. I heard the name before, but not sure if it was directly related to the play (perhaps news that it was being made?) or if it’s already an expression used there

      • snigsy

        I was living in St John’s at that time and was a grad student at Memorial. The university looked after about 700 stranded people. As one of the few in-house Jews, I was asked to look after a group of five Orthodox men (my task was to find them a private spot on campus where they could do their prayers). This may seem insensitive–and I don’t mean it to be so–but it was a grand time. I enjoyed being their guide to the city and surrounding area (Cape Spear!) and am still in touch with the families of two of them.

        • ltmcdies

          I’m sure they appreciated everything. And needed the lift good cheer from a stranger brings

    • Liberoid Ron

      Li’l devil’s a lady-killer just like his Dad. And he manages to cock-block Jared AND Donnie on the same night.

  • O/T but as important as ever. This petition was sent to me by my local NPR station for listeners concerned about trumps proposed elimination of funding for the CPB, PBS, NPR, The National Endowment for the Arts, and others.

    http://protectmypublicmedia.org/

    • Lance Thrustwell

      Signed!

  • BadKitty904

    OT: Remember when America used to lead the world in science and tech?

    Here Are All the Science and Technology Initiatives Trump’s Budget Would Decimate
    https://www.gizmodo.com.au/2017/03/here-are-all-the-science-and-technology-initiatives-trumps-budget-would-decimate/

    • snigsy

      Remember when America’s public education was one of the best? Oh, wait, that was 100 years ago. (Sigh.)

      • Ducksworthy

        That was before the Reaganuts discovered that the people in the Teachers Union were the enemy, like the people who keep the airplanes from running into each other.

        • snigsy

          Yes.

      • BadKitty904

        Before the GOP started meddling in it…

    • Liberoid Ron

      News from the Future:
      In a joint statement, the ESA, Roscosmos and CNSA say they will no longer allow American astronauts aboard the ISS. ‘We’re trying to do serious science,’ said the spokesperson, ‘but all they do is play with the equipment, ask, “What does this do,” demand astronaut ice cream, and then throw up in the mess area. Oh, and they always want to open the windows. Unless we get extra funding for constructing time-out areas they will have to stay on Earth.’

  • Panika MCD

    before I read the rest of the story, inquiring minds need to know:

    what do you do if you’re not pretending to be Irish?

    • Notreelyhelping

      Being Irish and ignoring St. Paddy’s Day.

      • Panika MCD

        so: coffee now, booze later.

        Calliope Jane says fox terriers PRINCESSES get turkey and bacon from the wait staff. it worked, too.

    • cmd resistor

      Celebrate St. Gertrude of Nivelles, patron saint of cats, whose day it also is today.

      • Panika MCD

        Cary Cary does not like the way I am currently celebrating because I am at the local coffee shop with the dog. oops.

      • puredog

        What a fine little factoid!

  • ladyblug

    Great speech by my maiden namesake Kenny! I want him as my president! PRETTY PLEASE?

  • Mr. Blobfish

    Whenever President Mommy Issues is around a strong woman, he clams up.

  • Msgr_MΩment
    • ltmcdies

      wow…did Obama fly in using the Iron Man suit to steal that suitcase personally or did Bill just hang around until it was unguarded

    • Latverian Diplomat

      “You park your Official Vehicle outside one brothel for a few hours, and the bastards steal your laptop. What is this country coming to?”

      • Celtic_Gnome

        I have left my laptop in the car. Out of sight in the back. Oh, and the car’s locked.

    • cmd resistor

      I thought for sure this had to be a joke. So was it Chaffetz?

  • memzilla Ω

    Twitler, Whose OWN FATHER immigrated from Germany to America in order to dodge the draft, doesn’t have a warm relationship with its leader, who he accused of making a “catastrophic mistake” letting in all those Syrian immigrants.

    And in honor of St. Patrick’s Day, here’s another picture of her with B. Barry Bamz O’Bama (hey, he’s Black Irish) — notice she has no problem with her shoulders and an American president touching them.
    . https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/128be09ef2d73b8566c8102444e619139e6a884f39172cd4e8fa821f8d09581a.jpg

    • BigBoppa ~ Résistent

      Well, ya know. Once you’ve gone black….

      • Lance Thrustwell

        …you never go orange.

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Once you go orange, you develop a deep appreciation for tranquilizers.”
          — Melania

    • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

      That picture just makes me all kinds of sad…

      • CeeQ

        Me too.

        • ~ ☆ míkhαílα ☆ ~ 【忠実反抗】

          Back when we had a competent and smart President…not this ugly orange shag rug… 😢

          • CeeQ

            IKR???!! Fuck.

    • CeeQ

      Oh please Barack! Don’t leave me!!!!! Please!!!!!!

    • Liberoid Ron

      This is the way genuinely strong, powerful, influential, competent people can be when together. I know they didn’t always see things the same way, but people like that can disagree and remain friends. Hillary has the same ability, though her personal style is quite different. Kerry too.
      But Donnie? He is none of those things, and everyone knows it. Including himself. And it has to be driving him even crazier than he already is.
      And that is the thing that makes him the most dangerous of all.

    • Serai 1

      “Oh, my Barack!”

  • laughingnome

    Well, you could say Trump has this in common with Germany: They both like to fuck with the Slavs.

  • Crystalclear12

    Is Trump still in his warranty period?

    He just doesn’t seem to be working properly.

    Even for a Republican model.

    • Ducksworthy

      Yeah. I thought we had 90 days. It feels like that must be up, but I don’t think so.

  • Liberoid Ron

    This morning – oh, it feels like a lifetime ago – I asked, is anyone keeping track of how many allies the US has left? Little did I suspect that by this very afternoon the number would have been reduced by TWO.

  • whitroth

    And Pence went to breakfast? lunch? with the Irish PM, and walks in and says “top of the morning”, and all the Irish are going WtF? Only Americans say that”. These losers can’t even do St. Paddy’s Day right!

    Oh, and Evan? You missed the Important Point the PM made: there are about 50,000 ILLEGAL IRISH IMMIGRANTS in the US, and he’s worried about them.

    ILLEGALS. Taking our jobs! Stealing our wimmen! And they’re pro’ly all football hooligans! (Did I mention stealing our wimmin?)

    • wide_stance_hubby

      Bad diplomatic move to serve Lucky Charms at the breakfast, also too.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Trump lightened the mood by saying, “The press in our country is terrible. They’re always after me lucky charms.”

        • wide_stance_hubby

          “The Irish are a magically delicious people.”

          • WotsAllThisThen

            “But day they call be Trump the Wall Builder? No!”

          • Usedtobeyellerdawg

            “But you get caught fuckin’ a goat just ONE TIME…”

        • Latverian Diplomat

          “Lucky Charms — worst nickname for testicles ever.”

      • cmd resistor

        There was some tacky gesture with Paul Ryan and a glass of Guinness.

    • Nightcrawler

      Pence, like many Irish Americans, seems to think that this is how Irish people act. Like they’re all stuck in Lucky Charms land. I call it Boston Syndrome.

      It’s like how Italian Americans think people in Italy say “gabagool” and eat spaghetti with meatballs. I call this Jersey Syndrome.

      • WotsAllThisThen

        Speaking of which, when is Trump going to finally get around to appointing Steven van Zandt as ambassador to Sicily?

        • Ducksworthy

          Norway.

        • Nightcrawler

          Oh please. You know Rudy is gonna be a shoe-in for that. Or maybe he can call up the disgraced sheriff from Arizona who got voted out.

      • janecita

        Or “mozzarell,” that one fucking gets me!

        • Nightcrawler

          My parents, who are actually from Italy, get invited to those Italian American group things all the time by people who annoy them at work. They go, but only because of free food.

          • janecita

            I took Italian classes in college, and all these kids that called themselves “Italian” were the ones that did the worst in class. For some weird reason, they don’t pronounce their vowels, it’s ridiculous!

      • Thiazin Red

        I know multiple actual Irish people and they get annoyed as fuck by St Patrick’s day, and the assumption that they should sound like Lucky the Leprechaun.

        • Celtic_Gnome

          Amateur Night.

      • Celtic_Gnome

        Too bad we’re stuck in Germany Syndrome mode.

    • puredog

      It’s a gaffe akin to summoning a Parisian waiter by crying “garcon!”

    • Perkniticky

      Are they illegal? I thought the Irish had special residency rights. Or was that just during the troubles?

  • Ms.MLG on Maui

    She looks like she’s a moment away from cracking up into uncontrollable “Is this really happening? I have to sit next to this illiterate, ignorant buffoon? This shit is unfuckingbelieveable!!” laughter.

  • Hutch

    I, for one, am really enjoying watching our allies treat Trump like shit!

    • Latverian Diplomat

      You can tell which countries really love America, they’re the ones that treat Trump the worst.

      • Liberoid Ron

        I was contemplating objecting, because Our Justin was so faultlessly polite to him, but then I remember him judo-ing the Trump Handshake.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Me, too. t’s the only time we, in US America get treated to watching Dampnut get the ass beating he so richly deserves. He can’t hide in the Bannon Bubble forever!

  • Me not sure

    Merkel understands world affairs, governing and policy crafting. Those are three things that Li’l Donnie doesn’t give two shits about.

    • whitroth

      I’ve a friend/co-worker. Grew up, I think he said, in NYC, black. We agreed that he, or I, got “diplomacy” better than this fool.

  • boredcatlady

    Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaba!

    I don’t usually watch the videos (it’s disrespectful to the writers who take he effort to transcribe lol), but since you told me I was gonna wanna watch it, I believed you, and I’m glad I did!

    Holy shit that was fuxkin awesome, and I’m sorry the camera went in so tight on Ginger Trudeau, because you can sorta see trump fidgeting and it was awesome.

    As for Angela, Trump looked at her the way he looked at Hillary, full of fear, hate and insecurity, and completely emasculated. SNIFF.

  • Mpeg

    Look at that Obama, arms draped so casually over the park bench, lollygagging (is that an Irishism?)..

    • gamera23

      From M-W:
      Did You Know?
      You certainly didn’t want to be known as a lollygagger at the beginning of the 20th century. Back then, lollygag was slang for “fooling around” (sexually, that is). That sense of lollygag was in use as long ago as 1868, and it probably originated as an alteration of the older (and more dawdlingly innocent) lallygag. Nowadays, lollygag doesn’t usually carry such naughty connotations, but back in 1946, one Navy captain considered lollygagging enough of a problem to issue this stern warning: “Lovemaking and lollygagging are hereby strictly forbidden…. The holding of hands, osculation and constant embracing of WAVES [Women Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service], corpsmen or civilians and sailors or any combination of male and female personnel is a violation of naval discipline….”

      • any combination of male and female personnel is a violation of naval discipline…
        But male and male and female and female were ok?

      • puredog

        “But Cap’n, I’m with the Signal Corps, an’ I’m just testin’ my osculoscope here!”

  • Belasaurius
    • snigsy

      I know that recently spelling with double consonants can seem stupid–or stuppid–but . . .

  • Undocumented Skwerl!

    Science fact: St Patrick would open a can of whooparse on Donald Trump if they ever met.

  • penny stock

    We aren’t even here if the DNC didn’t rig it. Bernie woulda crushed this fucker. Mid 2015 polls showed only person, Democrat or Republican, who could beat the orange shit stain that can speak was Bernie.

    And fuck it, while I’m here……Russian Pee Pee Hookers.

    • Ms.MLG on Maui

      Bless your heart.

      • penny stock
        • Panika MCD

          HA Goodman? really? that’s all you got? I wrote that comment above as a joke.

        • Penny, I am going to help you, because I am helpful.
          The DNC did not “Rig” anything. More people who vote democratic voted for Hillary in the primary. She got more votes. She wonned more primaries. She won the thing.
          Also, too, the “poll” showing how Bernie woulda won really!!!!” are from the same people who said Hillary would have won. And that was before the GOP opposition machine got hold of his socialism, that he has never held a non-gov job, that his wife bankrupted a college or that he wrote a parable on a sensitive subject that, taken out of context, would have buried him. And you know the GOP likes to take things out of context.

          • Panika MCD

            you forgot about the wifey still trying to put radioactive waste next to the drinking water of a colonia.

          • Well, GOP would not care about that part.

          • Panika MCD

            of course they would. they would have said, “now you are banned from saying we’re bad on the environment and do the environmental racisms FOREVER! because: BOTH SIDES DUET!!!!!”

          • ooooo good point

          • puredog

            Well of course not, but that would hardly have stopped them from ramming it down his throat.

          • Panika MCD

            in the meantime, Ken Paxton is now suing the federal government for not putting high level radio-active waste in Yucca Mtn. for the express purpose of having TX be either a temporary storage site (above ground storage of high level radiation? who doesn’t like that?!) and/or an alternative site to Yucca Mtn. Jane did make sure we maintained the deed to that site next to Sierra Blanca’s drinking water because they don’t need a water treatment plant or, you know, clean water anyway.

          • …..Texas is kind of fucked up. But I guess so is everywhere.
            Just seems extra fucked up to be suing because the Feds are not killing your drinking water

          • Panika MCD

            to be fair, most of the TX congress critters voted for Pete Gallego’s amendment to not do that. Bernie was the one who killt it dead. I’m wondering if they think because the Andrews Co. facility is less than half full and they just bought the lot next to it if they have SO MUCH SPACE! LET’S FILL IT WITH WASTE!!

        • Panika MCD

          I really didn’t think you would post or had posted an article by him.

          http://images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2281-13268775959298.gif

        • Lefty Frizzell

          Yeah, I do. What sunk him in the primaries was a very capable opponent and an apparent disinterest in foreign policy. I still think he’d make a splendid higher-up in something domestic, like CFPB. Of course the DNC favored Hillary. She was the better candidate and the registered Democrat of the two. But favored is not rigged. He got a shitload of votes and quite rightly pushed his agenda all the way to the convention and got plenty of input into the party platform.

          I really really like him, and I really really liked his gruff/honest/optimistic/mostly positive campaign, but he stalled out before the top and that’s just the way it is.

          • Panika MCD

            she’s also too helped a lot of other people get elected and helped their legislation pass and helped their poors kids get CHIP and other great stuff that in BoB speak is “RIGGGGGGGGED!!!!!”.

        • The Witch of Endor

          I think Bernie listened to people within his campaign that he should have ignored. He should have owned up to the fact that everyone in his campaign knew the rules for DNC primaries, and superdelegates. One of his people helped craft the new rules, for fuck’s sake! He should have disavowed the doxings that took place during and after the Nevada Primary, but he didn’t. And anyone who takes polling seriously as far out from the actual election as the numbers you’re clinging to, is naive at best.

          • Panika MCD

            I think he hired people who are more suited to running D&D parties in the basement of their comic book shops.

          • The Witch of Endor

            Ok, you made me giggle against my will.

            However, I did support Sanders until the Nevada debacle and I still have a lot of respect and affection for the man.

            I’m not sayin’ nothin’, I’m just sayin’…

          • Panika MCD

            I’ve always had a lot of affection for him IN THE SENATE. his brand of politics doesn’t really work well in an executive position, but having a fire thrower around is always nice.

        • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

          Huffpoo is a stealth-Breitbart shitrag.

        • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN
        • Ms.MLG on Maui

          Fewer people voted for Bernie. He lost the primary. We don’t run the loser of the primaries. It’s not that difficult to understand, unless you’re the kind of person who believes a 10 year Senator isn’t part of “the establishment”.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Gosh, it looks like Penny has runned away. I haz a sadz…:(

    • Resistance Fighter Astraea

      For various values of “rig.”

    • Chyron HR

      Because the only way Bernie “free college is what REALLY matters” Sanders could have lost the African-American vote by 50% is because “the DNC ” “rigged it”.

      • Panika MCD

        yes, but Tsarina Tic Tacs lost the African American vote by EVEN MOAR! so the math works! #BernieMATHS

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        That’s why we need less identity politics.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I’m a Bernie man, but I find that assertion to be fairly questionable.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Because it’s really productive right now to talk about how Bernie would have won the election. It doesn’t help anything.

    • ltmcdies

      show us the alternate timeline within in the multiverse that has proof of the hypothesis your are claiming

      you must have a link of some sort you are so darn sure a thousand other variables could not possibly of happened to get the United States to the exact same place it is today.

    • Panika MCD
    • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy
    • penny stock

      Ok, then, Russian Pee Pee Hookers…I feel better now. Glad you all could school this not as cool as you liberal.

      I hate the orange menace shit stain and I posted something I believe is true, Bernie would have beat him in General election. DNC is still distancing itself from Bernie at it’s own peril.

      https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/mar/17/everyone-loves-bernie-sanders-except-democratic-party

      • GodEmperorCaptainHowdy

        What the fuck? BERNIE ISN’T A DEMOCRAT. Why should the DNC give a fuck about him?

      • Panika MCD

        a) you’re taking all the joy out of the Steele report.

        b) the DNC and Bernie don’t really have a relationship because he’s an independent, but the Senate Democratic Caucus is still letting him caucus with him. in short:

        https://cdn-webimages.wimages.net/04fdb34b6e8e3a352506c54b21f477d36dcb82-wm.jpg?v=3

      • Dunno if you were aware or not but “Something I believe is true” is not really considered a valid argument in most liberal circles.
        However, I for one do not think myself cooler than you, if that makes you feel any better at all.
        Also, and finally, and this is from someone who voted for Bernie in the primary, purity ponies can kiss my fucking ass at this point. I am done with the lot of you.

        • Panika MCD

          1) BRONY LIBELZ!!!

          2) I don’t think I’m cooler than this one. I know I’m cooler.

    • Liberoid Ron

      I do not have the time or inclination to even read this sort of crap today.
      Bye, Felicia.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I’ll grant you I would have loved to see a Bernie v Donnie one-on-one debate. Bernie could have crushed him like a bug at that, no doubt.

      • Panika MCD

        but we did get Bernie v. Teddy. so that’s something!

  • janecita
    • Panika MCD

      he put it in quotes! jeez. don’t you guys know how to read his punctuation?

    • Liberoid Ron

      Funny, seeing these pics has a way of reducing my stress levels again. Something about pictures of adults interacting, for a change, instead of one adult and one badly-behaved toddler.

  • Flashman

    Slightly O/T, but have we joined the Warsaw Pact yet?

  • Panika MCD

    Trump wishes he were somewhere with more gold wall paper and pussy to grab and drinking Stoli Trump Vodka. that is not the residence.

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    I don’t think I’ve ever seen Trump pictures displaying that kind of open, relaxed body language- not to anyone.

    • Randy Riddle

      Trump makes Richard Nixon look relaxed.

    • Finnabar87

      Trump clearly cannot stand to be seen not dominating the scene.

      He looks ready to bolt.

  • CeeQ

    How do these world leaders, upon hearing the words “President Trump”, not just immediately break out in manic laughter and go:

    “NOPE. HAHAHAHAHA!!! CAN NOT DO THIS. Fuuuuuuck!!! Can’t. Omg last year I met with Barack and now THIS GUY??!!!! Fuck. Nope. Nope. Fuck. I can’t. I’m OUT.”

    *sweeps out of the room, followed by scrambling aides*

    • Because Murrica has a literal metric fuck ton of big bombs. Pretty sure.

      • CeeQ

        LOL
        We are so doomed.

      • Perkniticky

        Also Nato.

      • Liberoid Ron

        Happily the fingers on the various buttons don’t know where these countries are.

        • True that. I keep saying the safest thing to be when these dumb fucks are aiming at you is the target.

        • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

          That way he can just randomly bomb other countries. Kinda like a game of pin the tail on the donkey.

    • Panika MCD

      they probably wake up early to do that for 4 hours to get it out of their systems.

      • CeeQ

        Early morning yoga and screaming into pillow exercises.

  • Jamoche

    https://twitter.com/KeithOlbermann/status/842814992932069378
    “For context, the NYC conservative station WOR has bumped @seanhannity to online, to bring you The Mets winning a 15-1 spring training game”

    Priorities!

    • gamera23

      Sean “Filler” Hannity

    • And to that I say “Let’s Go Mets!”

  • Marceline

    I love for some paparazzi to snap a pic of Merkel and Bamz out having a green beer.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      Obama has Irish heritage- it would be appropriate. Of course there’s the whole “one drop” doctrine, so maybe not.

      • BearDeLaOursistance

        Speaking as a bear, I would NEVER turn down a soul-food version of Shepherd’s Pie, #nom.

  • Belasaurius
  • Me not sure

    I saw where Trump recited an “old Irish proverb” that no Irish people had ever heard of.
    It turned out to be from a poem by a Nigerian Muslim. Add to that the fact that he pissed off the UK about the “wire tapp” and had to issue an apology through an intermediary, and I’d say that this is too early in the day for me to have this much schadenfreude.

    • YoBunnyBunny

      Did he really quote a Nigerian Muslim???

    • cmd resistor

      Like someone commented elsewhere, how hard would it have been to get an intern to Google “Irish proverbs” to get a real one?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      See your doctor if your Schadengasm lasts longer than four hours.

      • Me not sure

        Oh, pleeeze!

    • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

      Well, to be fair, he didn’t call it an Irish proverb. Trump said: “As we stand together with our Irish friends, I’m reminded of that proverb — and this is a good one, this is one I like. I’ve heard it for many, many years and I love it. ‘Always remember to forget the friends that proved untrue. But never forget to remember those that have stuck by you.'” Sean Sphincter could defend Drumpf this way.

      Although we all know that’s what he meant.

  • Finnabar87

    I need green, stat!

  • Jamoche

    https://twitter.com/brentgofftv/status/842805001928032256
    “US reporters shocked when this German reporter asked #Trump: “Why do keep saying things you know are not true?””

    Sheesh, if you’re going to tweet something like this, include a clip, not a screencap.

    • Shibusa

      You can bet she’s not getting credentialed for the next Trump press conference farce.

    • mackafritz

      “How dare she ask an actual question. She’s making us look bad.”

    • Sophia
    • Begin Anew Day

      They’re seething…with ENVY at her integrity and courage, two qualities they completely lack.

      BTW-ONE of these guys is wearing a big grin. There may be hope for that one.
      The rest are a complete waste.

    • CeeQ

      US reports shocked at Germans doing actual journalisms.

    • CeeQ

      Mr. Trump, why are you a lying liar who lies all the time?

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Well, the screencap is almost suitable for framing.

  • Finnabar87

    Trump always looks like his mother made him show up.

  • Hutch

    You had one job today, PussGrab. Make nice with our allies (don’t make faces, fidget while they’re talking, or pull them off balance when you shake their hands). Smile for Chrissake. And you just couldn’t manage to do it.

    • Finnabar87

      Trump’s untreated ADD is showing.

    • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

      FFS that’s what he thought the job was about- and he can’t even manage it.

      • Liberoid Ron

        A VERY interesting point. He’s failing at the one thing he was supposed to actually be GOOD at. He can convince the suckers he’s a ‘strong leader,’ but around actual leaders he’s seriously outmatched and again, he knows it. Fuck, he could start WWIII just because he’s tired of being pwned every time foreign leaders come to visit.

  • Sophia

    See I told you he wasn’t apologizing earlier.

    “As far as wiretapping by this past administration, at least we have something in common, perhaps,” Trump replied. He then claimed that his administration did not accuse the British intelligence community of wiretaps. “All we did was quote a certain, very talented legal mind.”

    “That was a statement made by a very talented lawyer on Fox. So you shouldn’t be talking to me, you should be talking to Fox,” he said.

    http://www.rawstory.com/2017/03/watch-trump-blames-fox-news-for-rejected-claims-that-obama-ordered-british-spies-to-wiretap-him/

    • Finnabar87

      Trump the Idiot accused his predecessor of crimes, and it is a proven lie.

      Another thing he won’t apologize for doing, what with it being straight out of Fascism for Dummies and all.

    • Does he not realize that “Well I heard it on Fox!” only makes him look like an even bigger idiot?

      • YoBunnyBunny

        No.

      • Finnabar87

        But not to his Insane Clown Posse!

      • laughingnome

        His rubes like it.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        no

      • Nightcrawler

        Of course not. Because Hannity, Carlson and O’Reilly stroke his ego. The ego must be fed at all costs, doncha know?

    • Hutch

      So now Fox News is responsible for the Executive Branch?!?

      • laughingnome

        Apparently

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Trump’s Blame du jour of the day, also too.

      • puredog

        And its peeing. It would be irresponsible not to micturate.

    • UncleTravelingMatt

      Meanwhile his wife is suing the Daily Mail for repeating something printed in another magazine. It all makes so much sense!

    • shivaskeeper

      Personal responsibility. It’s a crazy idea, but it just might work.

      Who am I kidding, these fucks think personal responsibility is for thee, not for me.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        Their only personal responsibility is to avoid responsibility.

    • Lefty Frizzell

      There’s a part if me that wants to just repatedly smash his stupid fat face into a desk while shouting BUT YOU REPEATED AND ENDORSED IT FROM YOUR OFFICIAL POSITION AS THE PRESIDENT YOU STUPID FUCKWIT!!!!!

      • Sophia

        He has his fingers stuck in his ears and he’s singing loudly so he can’t hear you. So there.

    • Doug Langley

      He can’t be bothered to attend intel meetings but is fixated on “Fox and Friends”. What’s wrong with this picture?

  • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

    A little while ago, I was handling plywood and pinched my hand rather badly between two pieces. For some reason, I don’t have a blister yet. Had I been paying attention, I would have worn some green on me today and avoided that mishap.

    Funny watching Trump while the Irish guy was talking. It looked like he sharted into his mouth after eating something disgusting and getting sick gut syndrome from it. It made my day.

  • Marceline

    This weekend’s Tweet meltdown should be epic. His wiretap lie has fallen apart and required an apology to Britain, ACA repeal has imploded, his budget is being torn to pieces, the operation in Syria has resulted in mounting civilian deaths, and he’s made a fool of himself in front of two of our allies. This entire week has been one long “Obama was better than you.”

    • A_Changeling

      When are Ivanka and Jared leaving for sabbath again?

      • Cliff Hendroval

        Actually, pretty much right now (4:52 EDT)

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      All the Trump Maladministration really needs now is Yakkety Sax playing in the background.

      • Panika MCD

        it also too needs to provide us with decoder rings.

        • BearDeLaOursistance

          Actually, the Decoder Rings go to the White House. “Be sure to drink your Drano”, with votes.

  • Begin Anew Day

    “…you can fairly well surmise that we are doomed, we say, fucking DOOMED.”

    My weekly Wonkette Mantra.

  • Finnabar87

    We are being doomed so much by Trump the Idiot, I am certainly sick of being doomed.

    • Hutch

      “You will be so doomed. You’ll be tired of being doomed. Terrifically doomed!)

      • Finnabar87

        This doom is spectacular!

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      A veritable cornucopia of epic doomz, featured daily.

  • BreakingDeadMen

    He really ought to show more respect to the leader of the free world.

  • DainBramage

    Jesus! Having respectable leaders meeting with Trumpy McTrumpface is so embarrassing.

    • shivaskeeper

      Having second rate, disreputable leaders meet with him is embarrassing.

    • Sophia

      Problem is, who in this admin would yo have them meet with?

      • DainBramage

        I’d prefer they all resign.

      • Weevie

        How about Carson? A black guy who thinks he’s so smart and so clever he can say racist crap and get away with it.
        Geezers in politics, argh!

      • Doug Langley

        I would say Tillerson, but the poor guy gets sooooooo tired.

  • Creepoman

    From a purely historical perspective, it’s an amazing demonstration of how quickly a single person can do so much damage to trusted institutions, international relationships, hell, even to the well-being of the entire planet. But as a human, watching it unfold in real time, I can tell you, it really sucks ass.

  • MeerkatsRMammals

    Angela Merkel is a world leader…of one of our Allies. WTF dude? Seriously! Not only does this make us look like totally assholes to the rest of the world, but how are German citizens looking at this meeting? Did he not shake her hand because she was so grr mean about him prior to the election? Or, was he mean because that’s how Putin wants him to behave? Fuck this fucking fuck. He’s so worried about the US looking “weak”? THIS makes us look weak. This is NOT how to make friends & influence people. Sad.

    • The US looks like a petulant unstable bully who likes to shout and make faces and do nothing of substance.

      • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

        You mean the US looks like a Republican, yes?

        • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

          Even nermal Republicans look better than Trump.

          • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

            Point!

      • BrendaKay

        Amen.

      • snark-lurker

        he reminds me of a walnut-sized zit on the tip of the USA’s nose on prom night

    • Marceline

      The rest of the world has already figured out that they will need to ally against us. Just think of who he’s already embarrassed us in front of: Abe, Trudeau, May, Merkel and Kenny. Not to mention the phone calls to Mexico and Australia. The free world will join forces against us eventually just like the Allies had to against Germany.

      • MeerkatsRMammals

        Yes, it certainly seems like every one of these meetings turns out to be a shit show. How long it will be before leaders get an invite & are just like…”Yeah. Nah…” Then the Twitter rant will be epic. It’s painfully obvious he has NO idea what he’s doing. Some times, it even seems like he doesn’t want to be there! I’m so embarrassed to be an American citizen today :(

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        So now we know why he wants militairy build up.

    • Weevie

      You give him credit for thought, planning and intent.
      He’s a troll, an OCD troll, nothing upstairs at all.

  • gamera23

    …Ummmm…..
    ……….. wanna go play golf? ………

    ……..

    • MeerkatsRMammals

      Sure! Not like the money from that weekend outing couldn’t feed millions of elderly Vets or anything…

    • Nightcrawler

      “Indeed. These icky poors are really getting on our nerves with all their questioning. Jeeves! Fetch my golf bag at once!”

    • Hamilton Ω, AKA Formerly DN

      Or grapple pussies.

  • Jamoche

    http://www.newyorker.com/news/ryan-lizza/can-steve-bannon-save-trumpcare
    “The White House’s chief strategist, Steve Bannon, knows that the failure of the Ryan health-care bill would be catastrophic for the rest of President Trump’s agenda.”

    New Yorker, I love you, but that assumes Bannon knows anything other than “tear it down” and “be racist”.

    • whitroth

      It’s true. If he can’t close the deal on that, the Reptilians in Congress and the Senate will say, “we don’t need to put up with this fool”, and the Impeachment will begin. Emoluments: high crime. Treason: high crime. Lying in office (including twits): misdemeanor.

      Save time, impeach him now!

      • Jamoche

        Sure, but I’m not convinced Bannon is that savvy. Or maybe I’m just hoping he’ll keep backing it so the whole thing will crash and burn.

    • Weevie

      Trump’s existence is a catastrophe. Doesn’t matter what he does, it still sucks!

  • nightmoth

    “hope this post lifted your spirits!”
    Far from it. The juxtaposition of Trump and foreign leaders, with Obama and foreign leaders, is making me weep and I haven’t even had my first Guiness.

  • Reximus
    • Weevie

      Still on a run!

      • chicken thief

        At least he’s consistent…

  • laughingnome

    I asked Trump to resign for the good of the country in my Ides of March postcard. Do you suppose it got lost?

  • BrendaKay

    LOL. The post did not lift my spirits… but perhaps a Shiner Bock later will help.

  • Bill Slider

    In a dream, I see all the leaders of Western Europe in a group photo, wearing T-shirts that all say Black Lives Matter.

  • UncleTravelingMatt

    12:46 seems like a good time to call it a day and have a bit o’ The Creature.

    Sláinte!

  • Poly_Ester

    I see, now. Trump’s hands are the size of a leprechaun’s!

  • Begin Anew Day

    So will donnie declare war on St. Patricks day? New taxes on green beer? Federal crackdown on rowdy drunks? Massive airlift of snakes into Belfast?

    G’wan with ye donnie, ye great fart of a man! We don’t care for ye and there is nought for ye to do for it!

  • Vagenda of Rebel Scum

    She’s thinking- “Even that neck massage from W was better than this- but there’s no way I’d let those tiny hands near my neck”

  • Maybe there’s too much Trump overload but you know shit ain’t right when you can’t remember whether it was Merkel or May who had to explain to poor Donald how NATO worked. At least I DO remember that the UK now classifies the US as a “flawed democracy.” Anyways, Trump sucks, the GOP sucks, his administration sucks and I fear for Japan and SK right now.

    • ltmcdies

      I think she had to tell him how the Geneva Convention worked too

      • VirginiaLady

        He still can’t find Geneva on a world map.

        • TxSpinyLizrd

          When they tried to explain Geneva to him, he thought it was a woman he tried to grab a few years ago.

  • Reality Kills

    Donald, you motherfucker! Stop embarrassing us!!

    • DainBramage

      That’s unpossible.

    • alpacapunchbowl

      I’ll give him this, he’s consistent(ly embarrassing).

  • Reximus

    Trump insults the visiting Chancellor? I did nazi that coming

  • YoBunnyBunny

    OMG, you guys are just being too hard on poor little Donnie. You should, like totally, give him more time to settle into his role as leader* of the free world, right? This is, like, his first time holding office, you know. He totally hasn’t even been in President* for, like, 100 days yet, guys! OMG!!1!1! You should really just give him a chance…

    • Weevie

      No. :)

    • Lefty Frizzell

      I know that’s what some of them are saying, but in all seriousness, this is the sort of job where you really, really need to be able to do it on day one or you shouldn’t fucking apply.

    • Reality Kills

      In the political business, there is no time for training and learning as I go.

    • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

      Bullshit. He’s supposedly some master businessman deal-maker. This fuckstick was supposedly good at everything, including this.

      Sorry, no quarter shall be given for amateur big-talking frauds, especially when they get in over their heads.

      • YoBunnyBunny

        Funny how the narrative went from “Donnie’s a outsider businessman, so he’s gonna be gooder at presidenting that any beltway politician… He’s gonna run the government like a business!”

        To… “He’s businessman not a politician; how can you fault him for not knowing what he’s doing????”

    • arundel

      He’s only 70 years old- give the boy a break! He’ll learn and grow and change, any day now!

  • Weevie

    This CNN thing is great, a perfect summary of everything Trump. What a major fuck up this guy be! Can’t get anything right, pretty soon he have an upside down name badge he can flip to see who he is.

    http://www.cnn.com/2017/03/17/politics/trumps-irish-proverb-nigerian-poem/

  • Iron Monkey

    Nothing will top GWB trying to cop a feel as he was walking behind Merkel at the G8:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eTQY1Aw9zcs

    • Weevie

      Then he barfed on her!

      • chicken thief

        That honor is reserved for Japanese dignitaries.

      • TxSpinyLizrd

        That was Bush daddy.

      • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

        Bush daddy looks like King Solomon the Wise in comparison. And anyone can get food poisoning.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      No, this tops it. Trump is being an absolutely filthy piece of abusive, woman-hating horseshit, refusing to shake her hand, treating her with contempt and trying to use her visit to repeat his filthy bullshit about Obama. Bush was just being an idiot, trying to be friendly in his own way OH MY GOD I’M DEFENDING DUBYA

  • Iron Monkey

    Enda Kenny is also concerned about the tens of thousands of citizens of the Republic of Ireland who are in the United States illegally. Most are visa overstayers who have no intention of leaving anytime soon.

    • ltmcdies

      Funny how ICE agents seem to not see that lot

    • nightmoth

      My ancestors came over from Ireland and if Rump is not impeached soon, I really think I’ll go back.

    • Cliff Hendroval

      Back in the ’80s in the NYC area it seemed like half the bartenders and bar waitresses as well as pretty much all the nannies were Irish who’d overstayed their visas. Most of them went back home when the economy picked up in the ’90s.

  • Robbertjan Brandenburg

    I for one can’t wait for Trump to visit the Netherlands and meet our Royals. If he has trouble with powerfull women he will have a huge problem with dealing with Queen Maxima.

    • whitroth

      What, God-Emperor Minimus meeting Queen Maxima?

      • The Witch of Endor

        I’d suggest the title to actually be “wannabe God-Emperor Minimus”.

      • Robbertjan Brandenburg

        Actual degree in Economics, from South American descent, looks

        http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2015/11/27/16/2EDBABD000000578-3336546-image-a-67_1448640453117.jpg

        God he will hate not being able to grab her by the pussy unless he wants to be shot on sight by our secret service.

        • TheAmazingAmateurHousekeeper

          He’ll be the total pig that he is and will stand inappropriately close and put his hands on her waist/hip/shoulders/back.

  • Reality Kills

    Man, I would hate to be Donnie. It feels horrible when you know people don’t like you! Specially, when you want everyone loving you! Or more like on your knees.

    • Weevie

      The narcissistic types I’ve known just plain don’t care, they’re obsessed with spewing out everything they think and not much else.

      • Reality Kills

        If that’s the case, you are saying they live in their own world, completely out of touch with reality. SAD! =)

    • Robbertjan Brandenburg

      And the one not liking you has a doctorate in physical chemistry. That must be really intimidating when all you got to show is a fake University.

      • Reality Kills

        Haha! I’d feel like shit!

  • Doug Langley

    I’m sure she just LOVED the part when Trump claimed Obama wiretappped her as well.

    • Why doesn’t she like me??? I included her in on the lying so she should believe me and I heard it on Fox!

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      There’s no shade like German shade.

  • Reximus

  • I think I have just figured out something about this country of ours.
    Ok, at first, we did not much care for them Germans with their friggin short pants and sausages and crap. But gradually they brought us Oktoberfest, an excuse to drink, so now they are all right.
    We didn’t care for them Irish, at first, but now we have St. Pats day, an excuse to drink, and they too are all right.
    Can’t stand them Messicans, grrr, oh wait, Cinco de Mayo? They is all right on Cinco de Mayo! And now we have to dial 1 to get English!
    See. Immigrant groups just need to all give us a drinking holiday.

    • Reximus

      So THAT’s why they don’t like mooslims

      • alpacapunchbowl

        I was always a little jealous of my Moose-Lamb friend in college, she was a pothead but not much of a drinker and would catch a buzz off two bottles of beer. I could’ve saved so much money!

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Oh, this is the problem with us Jewishes! We just bring them days of atonement.

      • YourNameHere

        Purim????

  • alpacapunchbowl
  • nightmoth

    Remembering the good times on this St. Patrick’s Day! and hating every single person who did not love Obama.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mnn9VysjJw4

  • chicken thief

    Tillerson – the T-Paw of Secretarys of State.

  • VirginiaLady

    Where’s that lil Leprechaun guy when you need him? We tell him 45 stole his gold and he might believe it. Hey, I’m willing to try anything at this point.

  • Longstreet63

    So, I’m guessing the next version of the Not-Muslim Ban is going to include Ireland a Germany…

  • Zonath

    When the Taoiseach speaks more eloquently and optimistically about America than the American “President” would ever be capable of, you know that we’re in trouble.

  • nightmoth

    Were Trump living in Ireland, he’d be known as a “gombeen” which according to the Irish Times is “basically, a little squirrelly crook of a man who’d peel an orange in his pocket so he didn’t have to share.”

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      And in Germany, already, I’m sure he’s known as a “scheisskopf.” Kopf means head, and scheiss means exactly what you think it means. Meanwhile, in Scotland, they’re more direct and simply call him a cunt.

    • Alan

      In Scotland that’s called a Scot.

      • nightmoth

        Naughty Alan!!!

  • Serai 1
    • The Witch of Endor

      As much as I love this, I must admit that I’m also thinking about Joss Whedon’s “Once More With Feeling” from Buffy The Vampire Slayer. “Some kind of Lord of the Dance, but not the evil kind. Just a demon.”

      • pussygrabber in chief

        I had the same thought.

      • hinton battle!

        • The Witch of Endor

          “Say you’re happy now
          once more with feeling
          now I gotta run
          see you all in
          hellllllllll”

          • yeah i’ve just spent the last hour looking for my fav moments from OMWF on the internet and technically i could walk 20 feet and get the g*damned DVD.

            this is donald trump’s america.

    • pussygrabber in chief

      I’m fairly certain that that one thing the guy in the tank top does is physically impossible.

      • Serai 1

        When the Irish guy goes into overdrive, I was dazzled.

  • coozledad

    Enda Kenney’s anger translator:

    Long before this mango shitgoblin tried to suffocate immigrants, children and the aged, there was an empire that dealt with us the same way your Paul Ryans, your Steve Kings and your Bannons did. They enforced starvation upon an entire country they regarded as niggers, and they did it in the language of Christian compassion.

    That mantle has passed from 1840’s Britain to the sub-men in control of a now benighted United States, suffused with shart sniffers, cunts and sleeve-jobbers wrapped like a runny cheese in the flag.

    Well I say to you, as Brendan Behan would undoubtedly have said, Die sniffing your puke, you boiled scrotum of a reeking subset of men, and rot that short step to pure shite afore they can box your stinking arse!,

    • TxSpinyLizrd

      Even better than Google Translate.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      This is everything. And so true. The British absolutely caused and continued the “potato famine” and with the same “language of compassion” the sub-men are using to try to end feeding the hungry here in this country.

    • i had forgotten about brendan behan. he was a staple in my mother’s library.

  • Reality Kills

    Can Merkel be our president? I am OK with a swap.

    • The Witch of Endor

      Think about that for just a minute.

      • Reality Kills

        Rather have a German than a Russian president.

        • The Witch of Endor

          Yeah, I can’t argue with that.

    • Nockular cavity

      Didn’t Germany already have somebody like that at some point?

      • Reality Kills

        They did. He ended up committing suicide in underground bunker.

        • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

          Yeah, Merkel knows how this ends.

  • Saxo the Grammarian

    According to the Irish embassy in Washington DC, there are approximately 50,000 undocumented immigrants of Irish descent in the U.S. Most overstaying their visas. How many get deported? About 33 per year. Make of that what you will.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      They urn’t those DARK skinned folk. everbody knows it’s the DARK skinned folk we ain’t want here, they SCARE us

      • nightmoth

        Did you see that article that showed black men are perceived by white people as being taller and heavier than they really are? Science, Mr White!

  • pussygrabber in chief

    So, when is the pain of being Obama-less going to subside? It seems to just keep getting worse.

  • witsended

    Did someone say Wur Doomed ?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7NlFWh7Sz8

  • Laffing Crow

    Man, I would LOVE to hear the conversation between Angela and Bamz tonight! You just know that they’re going to be calling each other on their secret “O” phones and dishing like crazy. In MY imagination anyway.

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      More like Angela and Hillary.
      Hillary: I told you.
      Angela: My darling girl, I HAD NO IDEA IT WAS THIS BAD.
      Hillary: I know. Unbelievable, isn’t it?
      Angela: Never mind. We’ve seen worse. I’ll call you later and we’ll start the campaign of taunting. That’ll work with this one. He’s a weakling.

  • Nockular cavity

    Every time I see that Obama-Merkel picture, I think, “The hilllllllls are aliiiiiive, with the sound of muuuuuuuusiiiiiiiiic!”

    • CatCafe #ShePurrsisted

      Every time I see ANY Obama-Merkel picture I think of the divine Kate McKinnon and her giggly Angela Merkel talking about Barack listening in on her phone calls oh no tee hee tee hee!

    • Thorn Spike

      Dammit! Shoulda scrolled down sooner.

  • fawkedifiknow

    I’m going to celebrate the day with a seven course Irish meal: a sixpack and a potato.

    • The Witch of Endor

      That is so wrong in sooooo many ways.

      • JustDon’tSayMicrowave

        IK,R? At least put some malt vinegar on the potato!

    • Charon_69

      I’ll be putting on the Irish Handcuffs: Bushmills in one hand, Guinness in the other

    • Sakonyachen

      St. Patrick’s day has become like Cinco de Mayo to me. White people getting drunk off other people’s culture.

      I do like potatoes and six packs though.

  • sadboy

    In a funny twist of fate, American immigration made Irish independence possible – Eamon Devalera was the only battalion commander in the 1916 Easter Uprising who was not executed by the British, partly due to intervention by the US consulate (he was born in New York and was technically an American citizen, although his mother moved him back to Ireland when he was two) and would later become Taoiseach and President of Ireland himself.

  • nightmoth

    Slainte, my darlin’ man! You’ll always be President of my heart! https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/7ab56bce31dce439c142376b96fa37f997cff3065a809bea76aa7c4caa9c7544.jpg

    • Sakonyachen

      This isn’t a Fallout 3 reference is it?

      • nightmoth

        No, just sentiment.

    • i am so sad right now.

  • GHERKINS OF RESTIVENESS!

    Hey, with all this constant shitshow spraying everywhere like the Vegas Bellagio Fountains hooked to the worlds biggest asshole… did everyone forget that AG Jeff Sessions lied, under oath?

    Remember when perjury was something serious and unforgivable?

    • stubbornirishlass

      It depends on what the definition of “perjury” is.

  • bluicebank

    On a historical note, I don’t think ANYONE has ever had shade thrown at them by the leaders of Ireland and Germany on the same day. Throw in the United Kingdom, too.

    So that’s an Anglo-Norman-Teutonic triple slap?

    • Sakonyachen

      Not a world leader, and they weren’t world leaders, but I achieved that trifecta. Of course, I don’t fear the repercussions of assuming, I’m already an ass.

      Full disclosure, I was piss drunk at a hostel in Seattle.

      • bluicebank

        I was just musing that an “Anglo-Norman-Teutonic triple slap” sounds like one hell of a drink. Best served over ice.

        • Ill-Advised

          Gin, Calvados, and a chaser of beer?

    • mr fuflans is in producer hell for the next X days. i was trying to explain what happened in ‘merica in the last 24 hours.

      this is perfect.

      (though technically there was probably something the french did somewhere in say the mid 1700’s that rivalled this? but maybe not…)

  • going4baroque

    In honor of the Irish and all other right-minded people who do not spend all our time in this universe, I will dispense on this day with the usual cut and dried opinion full of blarney, of which the world has sufficient quantity and will offer up this O’Pinion, which, of all opinions, is the omnispectric form of the Platonic ideal of opinion, if you can believe that, and by that is meant it doesn’t have to strictly abide by the rules of opining, it can be a truth, it can be a joke told poorly, it can be a Monet painting. It is not restricted in any manner is what I’m saying, which is what can be said about the human spirit (we are all Irish), god bless Jameson’s, the O’Pinion is this: Dammit, I forgot

    • HazooToo

      Happy St. Patrick’s Day, you wordy bastard.

    • nightmoth

      wish I were downing a shot of the old Jameson’s with you right now

      • going4baroque

        that would be one fine start, I’m sure, to one fine celebration of a saintly life, getting perfectly drunk in the company of the quite sane

    • Ill-Advised

      I thank my esteemed colleague on the erudite polish of the above O’Pinion, which not only achieves the Platonic grace we so labor for in too many much-studied, little-heeded, and even less remembered discourse, but also excels at uniting the sweeping detail of a very king’s son in Irish philosophy, the wit of an English lawyer, and the encyclopedic grace of an American author: I toast the exquisite epistolary of Learned Member going 4baroque, with these magnificent double-entendres to G.B. Shaw, John Cleese, and the gifted David Wallace Foster. I relinquish balance of my time to my colleague, Ms. Chairperson.

      (Bows and sits, tugging at a water pipe)

  • Alan

    I miss not being embarrassed by the president of the United States.

    • Sakonyachen

      Even W was at least comical. He could at least tell a lie that was hard to discover. This “president” is more like that kid in 5th grade that doesn’t realize that people know he’s full of shit.

    • arundel

      I miss being actively proud of our president, as I was with Obama representing us in the world. He was impeccable. Intelligent, statesmanlike, a great orator, tall slim and handsome, tough when needed but also immensely warm and gracious, with a beaming smile.
      He represented the best of us. Now I see we didn’t deserve him.

  • Thorn Spike

    I cried when Angela and Bamz re-enacted the opening of “The Sound of Music.”

  • SadDemInTex

    Trump is such a rude bastard

  • Alan

    So I’m watching the news and the reporter says “the White House says….” I don’t even know what that means anymore.

  • Lefty Wright

    Well, what about the Black Irish, huh? Maybe there is something to this Obama not being an American. Trump was just looking in the wrong place. He should have been checking in Dublin for a valid birth certificate instead of Kenya. I never did buy that name change anyway. I bet it was originally O’Bama. That’s where they need to be checking on the phone tapp too. Just too many coincidences if you ask me.

    • nightmoth

      No snark, you know about Fulmoth Kearney, right? Barack’s several times great on his mother’s side, who was a shoemaker from Moneygall and emigrated to America?
      So cool! This is what being of nation of immigrants means—you can hit the jackpot with all the lovely blending.

  • pgjack

    I’m surprised someone other than Brietbart and FOX news were allowed in. To get access from now on you’ve got to be ready to tell the naked leader that you love his new clothes.

  • Ricky Gay

    what a squat, incurious little man.

    • that’s shakespearean right there.

  • susan_g

    Trump has done the impossible, uniting all of Europe in hate and revulsion.

  • Once&futureFred

    45 also had an old Irish proverb to share that he had heard many times over the years.. “I’ve heard it for many, many years and I love it. ‘Always remember to
    forget the friends that proved untrue. But never forget to remember
    those that have stuck by you.'” Such a good Irish proverb..that was in fact written by a Nigerian poet in 2013. 45 lies reflexively, about shit he doesn’t even need to. We are so hosed.

    • nightmoth

      Saw that—hilarious. But sad. Hugely sad.

  • Red Bird Ω

    I’m not sure about the Irish PM lecturing people about immigration. How many refugees is Ireland taking? Not to mention the treatment that current immigrants from non-European countries receive. I’ve heard it’s not the best. But, nice sentiment anyway.

  • There are 50,000 undocumented Irish in the US. That’s what the otherwise pretty lame Enda Kenny was pointing out to Trump – that WHITE CHRISTIAN ENGLISH-SPEAKERS are being targeted by his lame crusade, also too.

  • Rachel Book Harlot

    Oh my God. I can’t even. I can’t. That Merkel handshake snub is truly awful. Jesus Christ.

  • CripesAmighty

    Can’t wait for the ‘crude, crass, fat American travel ban’. Worldwide.

  • psychobroad

    Jesus God, really? I’ve watching this clip all day and it just keeps getting worse and worse. He tried to break the hands of all the male heads of state that he’s met recently. Is his little brain saying he can’t break a woman’s hand so he’ll just ignore her? Or is that the misogynistic portion of that tiny brain that says she’s a woman so I’ll just ignore her.

  • Celtic_Gnome

    What lifted my spirits was mentally adding a caption to the Obama/Mekel picture with Obama saying, “Yeah, that’s about what it is in metric.”

  • Jeff Mc Donald

    I thought it showed remarkable restraint that the taoiseach didn’t say, “May the cat eat you, and may the devil eat the cat!”, because I have a felling he really wanted to. In Gaelic of course, because he’s diplomatic, and he understands it would take Trump a few years to find someone who could translate and then convince Trump it wasn’t a very, very, great compliment.

  • arundel

    Insulting Merkel and the Germans (by extension all the EU, since she is the nominal leader) , saying that the British spooks helped Obama wiretap him (THEY DENY VIGOUROUSLY WITH VIGOUR), Tillerson saying that yeah, maybe we’ll invade North Korea or just nuke them and my god you guys I really need a nap… this is the Trump administration’s foreign policy fiascoes of the past 24-36 hours alone.

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