SHARE
contrite easter bunny

The Trump White House has had to do a Formal Apology to Britain, just because White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer baselessly lied on Thursday, from his podium, and said British spy agency GHCQ had done secret “wire tapps” to Donald Trump, on behalf of Barack Obama:

Intelligence sources told The Telegraph that both Mr Spicer and General [H.R.] McMaster, the US National Security Adviser, have apologised over the claims. “The apology came direct from them,” a source said.

General McMaster contacted Sir Mark Lyall Grant, the Prime Minister’s National Security adviser, to apologise for the comments. Mr Spicer conveyed his apology through Sir Kim Darroch, Britain’s US ambassador.

That’s right, they said sorry PERSONALLY. We bet they had to write letters on construction paper with glitter and everything. Additionally, NBC’s Peter Alexander reports that the White House promises it won’t say this particular lie ever again.

How did we get to here? You know, the usual. On Wednesday and Thursday, Republicans, including those on the House and Senate Intelligence Committees, pissed all over Donald Trump’s made-up theory that Barack Obama did secret illegal “wire tapps” to him at Trump Tower, making various statements that can be collectively shortened to read “cough BULLSHIT! cough.

So naturally, when it was time for Sean Spicer to do his daily TV time with reporters, naturally, he said, “OK, OK, no more screwing around, we were wrong about that,” and tried to spin it to at least make the president look better, right? Haha no, because C.J. Cregg he is not. Instead he got into a FIGHT with reporters about “YUH HUH DID TOO!” and in the process lobbed the accusation at GHCQ, saying it secretly spied on Trump for Obama.

Here, if you haven’t seen the video, it will entertain you. The pertinent quote is printed below:

… [O]n Fox News, on March 14th, Judge Andrew Napolitano made the following statement, quote, “Three intelligence sources have informed Fox News that President Obama went outside the chain of command. He didn’t use the NSA, he didn’t use the CIA, he didn’t use the FBI and he didn’t use the Department of Justice. He used GCHQ. What is that? It’s the initials for the British intelligence finding agency. So, simply by having two people saying to them president needs transcripts of conversations involving candidate Trump’s conversations, involving president-elect Trump, he’s able to get it and there’s no American fingerprints on this. Putting the published accounts and common-sense together, this leads to a lot.

Do you see how the Trump regime literally pulled that out of their collective B-hole? Trump and his minions watch and read Fake News a lot, the kind that is made up by Fox or Breitbart or the Stupidest Man On The Internet, Jim Hoft. Because they are all walking, farting prime examples of the Dunning-Kruger effect, they have literally no idea the stuff they are reading is not true. So this particular example of made-up “news” for idiots who can’t think good came from Judge Andrew Napolitano on “Fox & Friends” (Trump’s favorite cartoon!), who said, based on his conversations with “intelligence officials” (Rudy Giuliani or something?) that Barack Obama secretly and illegally went to British intelligence all by himself and begged GHCQ to do secret “wire tapps” on Donald Trump.

So hooray, another conspiracy theory made its way through the meth-addled brains of the right wing fever swamps, was spit out by Fox News, and was repeated by the White House. And now the Trump regime is having to stick its tail between its legs and say “sorry” to the nice British spies it talked dishonest shit about. Totally normal day in Trump’s America, unfortunately.

Thursday night, GCHQ actually issued official statements to the media (which is such a normal thing spies always do), calling bullroar! and codswallop! on Spicer’s allegations:

And hooray, FOR ONCE, the Trump White House has actually had to apologize and promise it will not lie about this one particular thing ever again. (Hilarious fact: Fox News reported on this whole “Say sorry to the nice Britishes” story. Failed to mention it was the Fox News bullshit train that started the story in the first place. WINNING!)

The White House will, of course, continue with all its other lies, because these fuckers wouldn’t know the truth if it pissed on them in a Moscow hotel room at the Miss Universe pageant in 2013.

The end.

Wonkette is fully funded by readers like you! Fund us, with a few dollars, by clicking the happy banners below!

[The TelegraphWashington Post]

$
Donate with CCDonate with CC
  • Usedtobeyellerdawg

    I’m just saying; Pissing off a bunch of intelligence gathering agencies may not be a wise move.

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance

    It’s possible the U.S. president and his administration may have a credibility problem.
    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/301e74155b59b8348fc556e720ec8dd9bbb9aafc710c600c359c71b324183afe.jpg

  • William
    • Bec Jenn

      Funny, but why is Charles in a kiddie chair? I mean there are normal sized chairs there. Was this on purpose? Oh so many questions.

  • Vincent Ricola

    If this at all affects my UK stories getting to my teevee box, I will end this whole administration myself.

    • dslindc

      Same. If you take away my Planet Earth, I will burn down all of the things.

  • RobKanC
  • cheetojeebus

    We’re just what? 50 days in? Christ! It’s gonna be a hot Summer if this trajectory continues. In more ways than one.

  • Bill D. Burger

    Just listening to that red-eyed, whinny-voiced, sputtering and stammering POS while he does air quotes and yells {{{{ squirrel! }}}} is more than I can take. Can’t watch the briefings or any monitor I’m watching would be in danger.

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/3091f8ee63dca8226b30602de00faf1951f3581585620cbc5ff8f3e1a1f90742.jpg

  • Martini Ambassador

    I am shocked! Shocked! I rather thought this administration was incapable of apologizing for anything, no matter how blatantly false or incorrect.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      A full denial will be issued later today. Period.

    • Sophia

      Trump didn’t apologize. His lackeys apologized. Doubt the apology was ordered by Trump, it was probably ordered by the same person who does the sane tweets for him.

      • Shoto

        Ordered by First Lady Vank-Vank, maybe?

  • Oblios_Cap

    You would think that Boris or Nigel could back up the British thing, were it true. MI6 probably threatened to send a double-naught secret agent with a license to kill after poor Spicer.

    • Groundloop

      The Trump “administration” is such a shitatstic clusterfuck the Brits could send Special Agent Mr. Bean after Spicey to get the job done.

      • Toomush_Inferesistance

        Where is Inspector Clouseau when you need him?…Cato?…

    • Ghenghis McCann

      An agent with a license to point at him and laugh is all he deserves.

  • writersbloc

    Looked up Dunning-Kruger. Rewarded with this amazing fact:

    The study was inspired by the case of McArthur Wheeler, a man who robbed two banks after covering his face with lemon juice in the mistaken belief that, because lemon juice is usable as invisible ink, it would prevent his face from being recorded on surveillance cameras.

  • Chadwells
  • Bill D. Burger
  • Daniel Hooper

    You know, as much as I enjoy watching this administration fall apart at the seams(putting aside the fact that they’re in charge of our country’s government), does anybody else worry that someone, and I’m thinking Spicer in particular, might do something… drastic… if they have to keep up this farce of confidence and competence?

    Note I did not say it was a good farce, and these people are in charge of the government, so they should be able to handle pressure. Still, I can’t help thinking we’re only days away from a major live, on camera meltdown.

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I admit, my amusement is tinged with worry that the more argumentative reporters might start turning up dead under suspicious circumstances.

      An on camera meltdown, however, that would be hilarious.

    • wide_stance_hubby

      That is part of the plan. Perpetual confusion that only the president can fix. Create chaos and sell the solution.

    • Rags

      Or an invasion of North Korea

  • WotsAllThisThen

    If Obama wants an apology, he’ll have to get elected leader of some other country then.

  • Zonath

    I love how the GCHQ statement started the sentence, “They are utterly ridiculous and should be ignored” with the word “They”, which leaves it somewhat ambiguous what the subject of the sentence is. I read “They” to mean “the people making the allegation”, and I agree.

  • arglebargle

    But did the administration say they were sorry, or did they say they were “sorry”.

    • Toomush_Inferesistance

      Ahem. Did you mean to say the “administration”?…

      • WotsAllThisThen

        I’ll wait for Kellyanne to go on TV and explain what “they” really meant by “sorry” before jumping to conclusions.

  • schmannity

    Gosh. US and UK spying ruled out. Better not blame the poor Russians. Wouldn’t want hotel financing pulled.

  • ManchuCandidate

    A man’s got to have a code… unless you’re Trump.

    The imaginary 7th season of the Wire

  • Toomush_Inferesistance

    I’m waiting for Spicey to close a press conference with: “I’m late. I’m late for a very important date”…

    • Perkniticky

      Somebody has GOT to do a White House in Wonderland parody. Trump is the red queen.

  • Lefty Frizzell

    Did Obama ever make baseless allegations like that? Did he? Did his people ever have to apologize to a foreign intelligence agency for publicly and officially making completely fabricated allegations against them?

    Did Hillary?

    OK – so they’re not “all the same” then. Not now. not then, not ever.

    • dslindc

      But Obama is a blah and Hillary has a vagina!

  • Proud Liberal

    When is the media going to understand that it is being gaslit with lies from the Trump regime? Their mantra “It’s not true, unless I say it is.”

    • WotsAllThisThen

      I think when they ask “If it turns out to be not true in a week, will you apologize?” it translates roughly to “We have luxmeters next to all the gaslights, asshole.”

  • Cousin Itt de La Résistance
    • WotsAllThisThen

      Bug Glenn is sorry now and wants a hug!

      • wide_stance_hubby

        Here, Glenn. Right in the back of this van, next to the box of puppies. A little further back, that’s it. . .

    • Lefty Frizzell

      Is that last card depicting Trump as a “progressive”? That’s fucked up, man.

    • Antonin Dvorak

      Why is Trump on that card? I mean we’ll take TR if we have to but Twitler? No fucking way.

  • AJ Milne

    Very amused at this…

    I keep picturing Oldman as Smiley. He’s not actually doing a facepalm; this would be overstated. He’s just sitting there, with this great WTF expression.

  • exinkwretch

    Next up: How Obama cornered the aluminum foil market to thwart Alex Jones et al from shielding themselves from brain scanning rays!

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Future historians will study in awe how Obama wiped out the leaders of the alt-right by tricking them into stuffing their microwaves with tinfoil.

  • Sophia
    • arglebargle

      Just read this on Rawstory. Boom goes the dynamite. Although I’m sure Donald wasn’t paying any attention.

    • I liked the past tense use through the speech clip there.

  • hendenburg2

    Hey everyone! This totally OT, but OUR Robin made the click-bait news!

    http://the-daily.buzz/a/kellyanne-conways-glamour-portrait-upstages-her-interview-from-home-/p-2

    • Carpe Vagenda

      It’s not well known that Photoshop has a filter which recreates a half pound of vaseline on the lens.

  • Carpe Vagenda

    So now the standard of proof is anonymous sources quoted in an article in Heat Street by Louise Mensch?

    • WotsAllThisThen

      Hang on, let’s see if the story was corroborated by Zero Hedge’s star reporter Tyler Durden.

    • FlownΩver

      To be clear, the Trumpland standard of proof is “What does Dolt 45 believe today?”

  • FlownΩver

    Don’t know why anyone would question the reliability of Judge Napoleono on Fox News. Doesn’t that define “reliable source”? And besides, all those Brit spooks are a bunch of poofters.

  • WiscoJoe

    The Trump Administration already has me feeling like Rex Tillerson, ready to launch a preemptive strike against crazy people, but also so fatigued I can barely leave the house.

  • fawkedifiknow

    “The White House will, of course, continue with all its other lies, because these fuckers wouldn’t know the truth if it pissed on them in a Moscow hotel room at the Miss Universe pageant in 2013.”

    That is a metaphor that will live long after the pissed-on, orange rind is thrown out of office, IMHO.

  • Lance Thrustwell

    For some reason I saw that photo with Bunny Spice, and thought of this:

    https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/13e07821ed54042a8edacd3d1b6107cfe302af373d7b44bbc75e4aeec27e5c84.jpg

  • Proud Liberal

    This is not normal. None of this is normal.

Previous articleTrump Budget Dude Fails To See How ‘Starving’ Is A Bad Thing