This post is for anyone who works in a corporate or SME or any other soul destroying desk job.
Firstly the bad news, if you're like me the reality is you'll most likely have to work at least 8 hours a day 5 days a week from your current age till you're either pushing tin or hitting 65. And that equates to a fuck load of days. To add insult to injury, changing jobs every so often only makes you realise it really all boils down to MOSTLY the same old bullshit, but it's true some places to work are better than others.
This post is going to help you wake up in the morning positive and retain that positivity well after you've left the work place, if you take to heart what's written here you will no longer want to be slitting your wrists at the end of the work day.
The goal is to at least survive, possibly thrive. And all of this comes from actual experience.
Let's start with the basics, there are 2 aspects of work and both are equally as important. The actual work, then there's the social aspect.
A brief mention of the actual work. I'm going to assume you're professional enough to get the shit done you're employed to do. This is after all the very basic denominator, you're hired to do a job, and you should at least be able to do it with reasonable proficiency. If you cannot, and you're not a trainee or new, then you really need to rethink your approach but that is out of scope to this discussion.
The social aspect is far more interesting and where a lot more people have actual issues, so let's focus on this.
It goes without saying that you should always keep a healthy distrust of people you work with, even the ones you actually like.
Most importantly NEVER give out personal information about yourself, besides some good things from time to time, normal things and that's that. Don't talk about your relationships, don't talk about your family issues or problems, or any problems in general. You need to keep an air of grace. Remember these people are not your family, even "friends". More like you're forced to work in the same place and are mature enough to get along.
As a sanity check ask yourself over the years at how many places you've worked and how many people you've known, even worked close to and how many of them are a factor in your life now. Maybe very few. Perhaps only 1 or 2 over a lifetime. So remember this.
What I've learnt is, you actually do have some very basic social responsibilities in the work place. I've been one to focus mostly on work and then neglect these basics, but if you want to survive and thrive you should at least always maintain the basics. And here they are:
Be indifferent and yet pleasant. Greet people you walk past etc.
Try to be a bit upbeat. Don't withdraw and be depressed and sit there with a look of dread on your face, or walk around looking like someone died. Remember it's a great act of human decency when you keep yourself composed for the benefit of others because you know people around you too can be suffering or feeling like shit and have to wake up and do the same bullshit routine you have to do. So you're taking a mature stance, like a soldier in a skirmish, you just get on with the shit, even if you don't want to be there.
Try to shake things up every so often. Invite someone for coffee. Stop by someones desk. Do those little things that can make someones life easier / better - but don't be annoying about it. Timing is everything.
Now notice one thing. I'm totally against unnatural manipulation of people and being wickedly cunning and all kinds of cheap corporate bullshit tactics.
What I'm presenting is you being wholesome and good. Not for career advancement or for any form of gain other than you have to live with yourself and these people for 8 hours a day for a long ass time. But having said that once all is said and done, it's these things that will help you establish really good connections in the work place, but don't expect that either because a lot of people are cunts.
Yes again back to caution. And hence why I'm saying keep a healthy distance, this isn't disneyland. Just remember this post is for intelligent introverts or MGTOWs who see through peoples bullshit, who are slightly anti social. If you're extraverted some of what I say might apply too, but since this post isn't for you, I'm only going to skim over corporate events.
Do you fucking hate corporate events with every fibre of your being? I'm going to say that attending corporate events or team building is more a way to reinforce existing social hierarchies, not to challenge them or create them. You don't go to corporate events to get known, or to elevate yourself, you go there in the context you are in your allocated position. For this reason corporate events are great for management or team leaders. Great for the funny clowns and wanna be popular types. Fucking terrible for anti social "workers", they tend to reinforce your failure to date to gain any social elevation. Remember these people are not your friends, so you're not going there to "get to know them better". The question is should you even go to them? In the context of what I've said, and assuming you're a common worker, then yes, go along and put in the face time. That's the very least you can do. Your absence will be conspicuous. But don't get all cut up about it. Know what you see around you, remember my words, watch the attention whores and sit back and observe, try to learn something. There's no better time to see "Who's who in the zoo".
Which brings me to my next point. For your own sanity, strive for a senior position or that of management. It tends to make your day go better when you have people around you who actually want to be nice to you. Do not underestimate the sheepish nature of people who are naturally followers. Now I'm saying if you want to keep your sanity working in this environment for decades, might as well spend most of that time leading rather than following that's one aspect, but also just for the sheer social elevation it brings. It's plain old simple - People respect those with management positions more. Nothing complicated about this.
Next thing you need to know is - STOP TAKING EVERYTHING SO PERSONALLY. People around you won't always be in good moods, won't always be happy to see you, and won't always be up for a chat. Remember you're working with people who like you are being forced to work 8 hours a day against their inner will. NO ONE WANTS TO FUCKING WORK LIKE THAT. So there's bound to be some resentment towards the workplace. That resentment is what you're picking up on - Don't take it personally.
At the same time, don't let it get you down. Even if you're strong enough to withstand the depression / soul crushing nature of it all. Sometimes people, even positive ones will show signs of fatigue. Sometimes it might feel like you work in a depressed and shit environment. Don't let that shit wear off on you. Just keep your own positivity up.
Take it day by day, don't try and be the hero. This will only isolate you and people will resent you. Rather be a bit humble about your approach, and get others involved and respect their opinions too. I know these are general things so apply them as you see fit. Don't ever risk coming off looking like an arrogant cunt. It will not serve you well in the long term.
Goes without saying but do actually go to work. I know it's easy sometimes to call in sick on a Monday, don't do that shit. Keep a routine and go to work.
On the subject of boundaries. It's important to keep healthy boundaries, so you don't get taken for granted or shafted to the side or walked all over. But when people over step your boundaries, make small corrections. Don't hold it in and let things progress. It is just that simple. People who get respect know how to inform people politely immediately when they transgress. If you take nothing away from this whole post - you should do a full independent study on how to correct coworkers when they offend you. No really DO THIS because there's much more you need to know when your small corrections get ignored or people still try and fuck with you. As a basic life skill you need to know how to deal with this.
So this is far from concise but it should start the discussion.
Lastly when you get home - forget about work. HAVE A FUCKING LIFE OUTSIDE OF IT.
The end....
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