My first post Reddit post, so please excuse everything.

I’ve taken TRP in the past without even knowing it…. Then threw it back up. Only to take it again

2010- Just graduated from college with an engineering degree, going on year 3 of an LTR with a nice HB8 at the time. I was motivated, energized, in control and looking forward to our future together. I started a small construction company a few months before college since working at the university library didn’t pay the bills well. It took off pretty well and I was able to gather a lot of work with my charm and knowledge in the industry. Upon graduation though, I felt the “Need” to use the degree that took me 5 years to acquire. After “consulting” with my girl at the time, I took a job where I would only be home on weekends. The job was amazing, building dams, levy’s and all types of large scale civil projects around the country. The pay wasn’t amazing but I figured it was a good entry level position to start my career. Long hours and the angst of living in a hotel room did take its toll on my attitude and in turn my relationship. I became complacent, needy and clingy to my gf back home. To try to compensate for his I asked her to move in with me (I still had my own place back home). This lasted about a month, we got into a fight one weekend I was home and she moved out while I was away back at work. I didn’t care for the first 2 weeks, then that dread and loss finally hit me. I went full on Billy Beta Blue Pill, constant calling, texting, pleading etc. I felt like a complete wreck. I eventually quit my job to return home in hopes that being closer would improve my chances of rekindling things. I was pretty much ghosted most of the time and would occasional get a drunken pity fuck. I decided to start up my construction business again since engineering jobs in my area were very limited. I was able get contracts with some large banks out west to service their properties. Before I knew it i was back on my mission, in a year of working 70+ hours I ended up with multiple crews, a small fleet of vehicles, and a profit of $160K, by far passing the salary of my engineering peers. The best part was the more I focused on my mission the less I thought of my oneitis. She eventually got knocked up, married, divorced within 18 months. I started getting the calls and texts to hang out. I oblige pretty carefree and met up, she was surprised how much I changed and how confident I was and started to talk about “Us”. This just shot my confidence through the roof, I knew there will never be an “us” but just knowing I can take it or leave it made me feel great. Of course I left it.

Over the next 3 years I spun plates, had fun and just worked on my business and real estate investments. I ended up selling my business and taking a corporate job with great pay and the standard 40 rather than the 60+ I’ve been doing. Things were going great, then in 2015 I met “her”..

She was a sweet HB9 22 years old, (I’m 30). She lived in my small town but I never really knew her due to the age difference. Being at the top of my game and having the abundance I did at the time, there was instant attraction. We spent every weekend together having fun, enjoying life and tons of fucking. I ended up dropping all my plates for this girl. She was crazy into me and I knew it, but over the course of the next 2 years the power changed hands. We both ended up getting laid off around the same time. I received a good severance had money in the bank and income from my real estate. We ended up spending the next 12 months partying, drinking and spending every minute together in “bliss”. I thought it was the best year of my life, when in fact it was the biggest waste of time as I had zero productivity that year. We both ended up going back to work, she also had school in the evening. From seeing each other every day to only on the weekends started to bother me. I was emotionally attached… It got to the point where we wouldn’t talk for a day or 2 and I became needy and clingy. I used to ask myself how did I become this guy again? How did I let another girl get this power over me? She started to become more aloof over time and I finally said I had enough and broke it off with her (dread bluff). This worked for 2 weeks as she started to ask to see me more, dressing nicer around me and putting some more effort in. I didn’t stick to my guns though and remained clingy and it all fell apart. I was stuck with my oneitis again.

Trying to figure a way to fix everything I eventually stumbled across the Red Pill and have been lurking around the past few months. Things have improved greatly. I had a great base to build off from my past RP days, so I don’t have to start completely over. I currently got 3 plates, got my job back with a promotion, multiple rentals and I’m currently working on my next deal. I’m still getting over my oneitis but it gets easier with each day, and I have a great support system between my family, friends and plates. I just wanted to tell my story and thank all you guys for what you built here, this Sub has definitely helped me to view the world objectively again (as you can tell from my name I’m a fan of objectionism, though not a master of it). Emotions have a way of clouding your vision of reality. Ok, let the ball busting begin.

TLDR: Went from Alpha to Beta to Alpha to Beta, women can drain your energy and confidence and turn you into a Billy Beta but only if you let them.