So last night at work I posted an answer to the question "Should I hire an Escort?" and the very first part of my answer got me thinking all night long about my last short relationship, and actually made me much less angry about it, and here is why.

I told the guy "Well you should break down your last relationship by cost of all dates and gifts, plus all time invested in direct effort to the relationship broken down into hours and assigned value equal to your current wage then add both number and divide by number of times you had sex with her, and that will tell you the cost of your relationship (for sex) vs. the price of a quality escort ($300-$350/hr)"

And I could not resist breaking down my last relationship by this equation, and I will detail the results further down. But first I want to expand on what I mean by hours of invested effort in the relationship. Obviously I do not mean every hour of life from start of relationship to the end, but I also do not mean every hour simply spent in her company, or even texting her, so what then? well for instance during my last relationship (thankfully a short one of 2 months so it makes this easier) I took her out to a movie, and 2 concerts, one concert I would have gone to with or without her, so for this one the only cost is the price of her ticket, my ticket+time+transport would have been spent regardless, however for the second, I would not have gone by myself for anything, so in that instance I count Her Ticket+My Ticket+Transportation+the time by hourly rate+incidentals (snacks and drinks), for the movie Star Wars VII, again I was going regardless, so simply her ticket. getting clearer? now beyond that say we spent time just sitting on the couch watching a show, any show I would have watched myself, no counting the time (unless I cancelled plans to spend the time with her), reality tv for her? hours on the clock, texting I didn't count because I have unlimited, any time spent having sex does not count (because this is what we use to measure the value) etc.. etc..

So now the promised breakdown

during the relationship I got a raise at work, pretty much halfway so I use the average between the two of $12.50 an hour

During the 2 months I walked her home (sometimes my place, sometimes hers) from work in the dark 8 times for a total of approximately 4 hours = $50

Total cost of 7 dinner dates = $457.xx

Gifts (concert tickets included here) = $184.xx

total time investment of approximately 96 hours = $1200

so that totals to $1971.xx

divided by 23 instances of sexual relations (I'm lazy and didn't pick up the condom boxes so I had them lying around my room to tally!), we get a grand whopping total of $82.22 per encounter.

and now you see why I suddenly did not feel so bad eh? turns out she's super cheap! I suggest everyone do this in the future. I plan on keeping a notebook to mark down hours costs of meals gifts etc... for any future relationship so that even before it ends I can answer empirically "Is she worth it?" and save myself a lot of stressing out.