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First week in Columbus! I'm so nervous!REQUEST (self.Columbus)

Auniquename2 が 投稿

This is kind of an add on to my dating thread. So I am officially living here and I LOVE IT I have been so lucky in having an awesome apartment and I love my job so far. I just love it. My panic is now setting in about making friends and dating. I saw some awesome Meetup groups but I'm afraid to go alone. What if people don't like me? I made friends at orientation for work and they all had boyfriends and I was so sad because I don't. I joined Coffee Meets Bagel yesterday but I'm debating should I join a ton of apps now or wait until I'm settled in the city a little more? Do I do tinder? It's always so disappointing. I'm just afraid because I have my dream life now basically but I don't have the biggest part which is the boyfriend and babies. What if I made this move and I don't meet anyone and then what will I do? Pack up and move again to a new place? I mean I didn't just move to find someone to date but I knew Columbus would be a major opportunity to meet new men. I am more venting my fears right now, but maybe some advice about how to manage the anxiety and going to meet up groups alone and not freaking out.

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トップ新着論争中古い順Q&A

[–]mula_bocf 32 ポイント33 ポイント  (9子コメント)

Based on this and previous posts, I highly recommend that you seek counseling to help you establish a baseline self confidence and self worth before you even begin trying to date someone.

[–]im_not_a_grill 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

[deleted]

The Story of the Hoover Dam

[–]_that_guy_you_know 9 ポイント10 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Quality shit post?

I honestly don't know....

[–]spring45 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

http://i.imgur.com/lFRqB11.gif

[–]cota_pass 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

What if I made this move and I don't meet anyone and then what will I do? Pack up and move again to a new place?

If you pack up and move to a new place, you will probably face the same problem. This isn't a Columbus issue. It's internal.

You need to build up your self-confidence and do something with your anxiety. It will likely take time. Be patient and don't give up. See a therapist if you need to.

It sounds like you're really anxious to settle down and start having kids. My advice to you would be to make sure you've found the right person first.

That said, Columbus is a great city with tons of great people. If you can't find someone you're interested to date here, I'm not sure you will anywhere else either. But you will. Just give it some time. Relax, take up some hobbies, meet new friends. When you find someone, you will know.

[–]ressiv 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (8子コメント)

Ohio State has excellent therapists on campus. I highly recommend going for that and never dating.

[–]Auniquename2[S] -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (7子コメント)

I have a therapist and it isn't that that I need. I need a relationship

[–]ressiv 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (6子コメント)

Nope. You absolutely need to be okay with yourself before another person is okay with you.

[–]Auniquename2[S] -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (5子コメント)

That just bums me out because I don't think I'll be there but I don't want to be alone for forever

[–]AndyGeneNew Albany 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

You have a therapist in Columbus already?

[–]Sallman11 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

It's probably the one they have been advertising on podcasts recently where you only pay $20 a week and talk online

[–]Auniquename2[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (2子コメント)

No. My therapist is in my hometown but we are terminating soon. I might wait to find another

[–]AndyGeneNew Albany 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (1子コメント)

It's too bad you deleted your name from the old thread. I'm guessing if you showed it to them they would have you institutionalized.

[–]Auniquename2[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I doubt it since I've had two therapists in the last few years and they knew all of this stuff already

[–]EcoBuckeyeLincoln Village 8 ポイント9 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good luck, I hope you'll keep us updated on a regular basis.

[–]im_not_a_grill 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (6子コメント)

[deleted]

The Story of the Hoover Dam

[–]l3cubed80Grandview 17 ポイント18 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Um excuse me, we crazy cat ladies don't want men or babies. Hence cats. Homegirl is on her own.

[–]im_not_a_grill 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (4子コメント)

[deleted]

The Story of the Hoover Dam

[–]Tittysparklekitty 7 ポイント8 ポイント  (3子コメント)

Yes, yes, yes. Are you desperate for babies? Well, Crazy cat lady is Columbus's hottest new club. It has everything- roller derby, hipster approved craft mental illness and condoms with the holes already poked in them. You won't be single for long in this beefed up shit hovel.

[–]Sallman11 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Damn so that how my friend knocked up his tinder date

[–]Auniquename2[S] -3 ポイント-2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

That happened??! Are they together now?? I used to go out with a guy who got his pof date pregnant on their first date. He tried to be with her after she had their baby but I'm pretty sure they aren't together

[–]Tittysparklekitty 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you even intelligence, bro?

Stoppit. You bring shame to the good name of crazy women everywhere.

[–]sixnerReynoldsburg 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (10子コメント)

If you're the same baby crazy girl from the thread i'm thinking of, i'd seriously recommend some kind of therapy. Could do you a lot of good since you seem very anxious about all this and are resorting to asking internet strangers whose advice you don't seem to be taking anyways.

[–]DJ-SalingerShort North 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Got a link to that that thread?

[–]Auniquename2[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (8子コメント)

I take the advice, I might find a new therapist out here but I want to see if I can fix my own stuff first

[–]Beaver5000 5 ポイント6 ポイント  (7子コメント)

You can't

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (6子コメント)

I need to try to date then if it doesn't work and I get sad again I'll go back to a therapist

[–]Sallman11 3 ポイント4 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Just go to a therapist and save some guy the hard time

[–]Auniquename2[S] -2 ポイント-1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

I have done therapy and it didn't work. I need a bf

[–]Tittysparklekitty 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Unless your bf has a phd, you are above his pay grade.

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

What does that mean? I don't get it

[–]Tittysparklekitty 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (0子コメント)

That means that a romantic relationship cannot take the place of therapy- a boyfriend cannot fix you.

[–]headintheredHilliard 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Then you weren't seeing the right therapist or seeing one long enough.

Therapy is an ongoing treatment.

Just like if you stop exercising and keep eating 4K calories a day.. your gonna get fat again

[–]curzyk 4 ポイント5 ポイント  (1子コメント)

The answer is simple: Live your life for you. Do the things you love and you're likely to meet someone else who has the same interests.

[–]curzyk 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

If you're really bored and want to "shop" for a date, go play on OkCupid. Tons of surveys and quizzes and questions to take. The match making algorithm is kinda fun.

[–]GoGreenGiantMerion Village 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good luck, and you'll probably be fine.

It's fun to meet people, just smile and say hello.

[–]DrMartenDentist 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (0子コメント)

There's more than one of these out there, Gents. A vasectomy is the best $500 you will ever invest.

[–]optiplex9000Clintonville 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good luck! You're an /r/columbus hero, keep us updated on your experiences here!

[–]cosmiccorvusClintonville 6 ポイント7 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good luck luv <3. In my experience Columbus is a pretty cool place and a big enough city that you can meet some cool people here, I'd definitely recommend meet up groups! I've been to a few on my own, and always had a good time.

Go to ones that are having an INTERACTIVE event, rather than just a mixer. Mixers can get reallll awkward real fast. Dinner socials are pretty nice though, where you all sit together and eat. Ones that do board game nights (at a parlor like Kingsmakers or Tabletop) are great.

One of my favorites is TINYACO (a young adult nerdy group). They are high-key and low-key nerdy and all people who are actively looking to socialize.

Get out there and remember that everyone is just as remarkably anxious as you are. Take it slow, and remember this isn't an arms race. It's a big place, and maybe you'll meet someone neat when the time is ready.

[–]Epic_Deuce 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Rich hot lady looking to get boned? I can handle crazy...

[–]Tittysparklekitty 2 ポイント3 ポイント  (4子コメント)

Well....allow me to introduce you to me.

[–]Tee_WhetGahanna[🍰] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Hey, I have cats...

[–]Tittysparklekitty 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Good. Good. Snapchat me your pussies. ;-)

[–]Epic_Deuce 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

Name checks out. How you doing? How Rich Hot and crazy, please describe.

[–]Tittysparklekitty 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Very rich. Very crazy. Hot is probably open for debates. So. Call me!! 🐈

[–]Auniquename2[S] 1 ポイント2 ポイント  (3子コメント)

I had an awesome date tonight and he asked me out again!! Yay! Columbus doesn't suck lol

[–]optiplex9000Clintonville 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

Good for you. I hope he's fertile

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

He seems to want a family I hope he likes me and dates me

[–]optiplex9000Clintonville 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

You'll have to give the subreddit a full update sometime down the line

[–]kvn9765 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Do you read books? Like real books.

[–]NedTransportation -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (0子コメント)

Stick with r/Columbus and you'll do fine.

[–]Auniquename2[S] -1 ポイント0 ポイント  (8子コメント)

So I found out today all of my coworkers are in relationships. ALL OF THEM! So I'm going to hit the dating sites hardcore I need to find someone

[–]albino_oompa_loompaMarysville 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (7子コメント)

Why does it matter?

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (6子コメント)

It just makes me feel bad about myself like what's wrong with me that I can't find someone?? All my coworkers are my age basically, and I was reading an article that 26 is the ideal age for marriage. I'm 26. Im freaking out I thought moving here would be different and it's more pressure. I want to be able to talk about my plans with my boyfriend too! Its embarrassing

[–]albino_oompa_loompaMarysville 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (5子コメント)

Pressure from who? Yourself? You need to cut that out. You're creating all of this unnecessary drama and pressure and will definitely not find a boyfriend or make friends if you keep acting like this.

I used to be like you when I was in college. All I cared about was finding a boyfriend but I didn't care who I was with. I ended up in some not so great relationships and I damaged some friendships. You know what happened when I stopped caring about that stuff and focused on myself? I found a guy who I eventually married.

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (4子コメント)

But I don't know how to do that? I mean focus on myself? That feels like I'm wasting my time, I'm 26 I need to find someone. What did you do to focus on yourself? How were you not stressed out, I mean if you were young then I guess you didn't have a reason to be stressed but I'm not young. I'm 26 and not in a relationship, it's just stressful and awful.

[–]albino_oompa_loompaMarysville 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (3子コメント)

How is it a waste of time to focus on yourself? That sounds contradictory to me. If you don't love yourself, no man ever will.

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (2子コメント)

I mean it isn't a waste of time, I feel like it is wasting time though does that make sense? Like I feel like I'm 26 I don't have forever to meet someone decent. Honestly at 26 finding someone with no kids is rare. So I am 26 I need to find someone and I'm not the youngest anymore, and I only have so many years of fertility. Ideally I don't want to be a 35 year old mom with a bunch of health risks. So if I take time to focus on me, how long do I need to do that? A year? So I will be spending a whole year not dating and just hanging out? Listening to my friends and coworkers talk about their relationships? While I just twiddle my thumbs and have nothing to talk about? Idk I mean I don't even know what I would do in that time of focusing on myself, nothing seems as fun as it would be to be someone's girlfriend.

[–]albino_oompa_loompaMarysville 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (1子コメント)

No that doesn't make sense. Also I find your line of thinking really really offensive. I'm 28 and married and probably unable to have children. The majority of my married friends, or my friends in general don't have kids and we're all around 28. You really need to stop and think tha maybe your problems are very small in comparison to others, especially since you seem to enjoy comparing yourself to others so much.

[–]Auniquename2[S] 0 ポイント1 ポイント  (0子コメント)

I'm really sorry. I definitely understand that there are people who have situations that are way more difficult than mine, it doesn't make my situation invalid though and it still bothers me.